My secrets carry secrets (poetic journaling)

Long ago I found you cold
The ruins you brought forth
Leaving me helpless and coiled
Wrapped in agony
I think you’re spoiled
Losing depth in me
Trapped in a deep void
The end gaining gravity

I consume the things you hate

The coil burns out
Like the core
My soul before
The cloud became doubt

Are you going to get to the point, where there’s nothing to lose?

Do I live in the mind of God?
Am I his thumb?
And all creation,
Just things I’ve done?

Are you his son?
Are we all one?
What a revelation
A multiverse of none

Am I God’s projection? A dream within a dream? A lost profession? Is God sleeping?

Time is how we measure change
I’m a conscious being, asleep the same

He’s a different dimension
With different physics
Where laws exist
He’s a great, fine mist
The pen, the fist
A magnetic tunnel connecting all of it

Under dome
My mind is my own

Struggling with identity, connection, though DNA has the code to heaven

All my dreams below (hard to let him go)

Climbed a higher dimension, if I failed to mention?

I can see everything from here, information isn’t clear

Knowledge is my crown, disappointing looking down

The fourth dimension is negative; the here and now

They support the addict, not the saint

I won’t live as long as my parents
I won’t live long enough for my mother to repair it

Welcome to Earth’s funeral

He told me where he’s at
Like a shooting star falling inward
His direction fell in my lap

They’re running such a tight ship but lately I don’t give a shit

They come in code
But who they are I will never know
Stuck in a cove
But they are swimming below
With nowhere to go

You were a great leader once, he said

And I replied

Yeah I know, Cleopatra. Suicide.

There was no fairness in the stone
I carried crucifixion through the dawn
But year went on and on and on
I’m tired, not strong

We observe and report

I’m climbing Mount Everest
Gotta cut me some slack
Since they weigh heaviest
I won’t look back 👀

If only you spent as much time sewing a holy garden, as you do building a house of made entirely of sins

I stopped going to your pages
I’m erasing all your faces
I’m not going through your phases
I stopped going to these places

…to these places

Stop pretending your trash is treasure

I’m too good for a throne
What’s the point in sitting
When I’ve got the world to roam 👀

India displays a pattern
It made my eyes burn brighter
The light is like a lantern
And I am still a fighter!

My iron is a lighter
My blood is spelled disaster
Remove sin from the cavern
Truth spinning like it’s Saturn!

Diffused awareness, they’re all careless

I’m changing direction
I’m cleansing infection
I learned my lesson
Headed for ascension –
The law of one

Salvation or sacrifice?
Stitches or bloody knife?

Copper or crown; the grand illusion (society is a sham)

Apple is not the sin
It is the cure

Who said living was a lifetime? 🤔

I’m so desperate for you to be everywhere
I see you standing there
But that’s just empty air

They call her queen,
But give them 5 minutes alone,
She won’t mean a thing!

I thought I was home
In a house full of strangers
I thought I was alone
In a world full of dangers

You call me poor
But it’s more expensive to be alone
Get off her throne
I offer more than a whore

Tell me now why you never said three words;
Tell me before I’m dead

I guess that’s why I returned
To be a guide
To help the living prepare for genocide

Blood is metallic
Crimson but mixed with magic

Blood is gold, the answers within

The wrath of ruin
The path of druid

Sometimes it’s truly frightening
The earth is fast as lightning

Is this a dream or simulation?
Are you the same as hesitation?
Markings on my vein, the deprecation?

He said, “we don’t choose who we love”
She replied, “is that from hell or above?”

If it weren’t for you
The sky wouldn’t rotate
Nor earth hold wonder

He gets mad me, “what were you thinking?”
“Stepping into a black hole?”
He wrote the math though
He paved the path so

I want truth to unfold,
I’m sick of dying alone, cold
You have an oath to uphold
So wave a flag, carve it in stone!

I want love, not gold
I want your stories til I’m old
Turn your cheek, leave out unknown
Give light its throne

One day they will say
She was ahead of her time
Trapped in a mine
John Jones he knows

In the beginning there was void
He takes the cold like a steroid
No hope employed
An endless puzzle to be decoyed

Every freckle is a galaxy or place you touched me like the sun…

He is quantum gravity
When he is there
He is here with me

He is quantum love
He is all or none
Zero is a sum


Love is like water
It comes in four states

They make gods out of structures

Pay attention to the definitions
No beginning and no end
Nothingness is not nonexistence
Emanation of the highest

She pretends she is a confidant
She keeps digging for that compliment

This is psychological slavery; we are nothing but data

Your heart is so cold
Tell me, does it snow?
Under your soul?

Blue is the shortest wavelength
Most visible to my heart
Zero pigmentation
Though connected via dark

We are desolate
Earth’s least favorite

I want ornaments lying around as his books
He can flee; but I know he’s coming back for second looks
Reading for freedom; but I know he’s got me clasped right by the hooks

You lost courage after multiple failures?
You lack strength to have better behaviors?

Do you know what separates me from being a monster? Will

The dullness in my life
Can cut it with a knife
I’m so tired of strife
Like everyday is night

I’m caught in his riptide
Ripped wide
Gripped tight


He said I was hollow
I replied, you left out a gram
Should you add, then appear I am

I want to see it destroyed
My feelings, they’re in a deep void

I grew detached
Knew not what I lacked
Still kept looking back
Knew it wasn’t that

How much does it cost, to live a life of pretend?
Got my name written in pen,
But he won’t ask how I’ve been!

Why do you pull out with so much gravity?

He was a pillar
Stone cold, vertical chiller
A midnight thriller

There’s fractions in the stars
Galaxies shifting like continents
Ripping time like it’s a fabric

Do you see me slipping through earth’s crust
Do you know it hurts
Crawling through mistrust
Every section unjust

Facing mortality and on some days I look my best, roll out the red carpet, I passed life’s test

Thank you for reading my poetry. 🥰

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