I spent time with some gators but first…

I got to feed and meet some alligators yesterday but now I’m upset and crying about it because I don’t like their enclosure and feel like it could be better and then I’m also wondering what they do with the alligators when they get bigger 👀

Because this particular place was not an alligator sanctuary which is what I actually want to visit because Florida is known for having those and rescuing the big boys and naughty ones

I also went to the beach and was blessed with getting to see a family of something swimming in the ocean but suddenly I felt their depression and sadness and started crying and had to leave the ocean

They are sentiment beings

But we do the cruelest things to them for our own pleasure

I got to meet this little gal and name her and I will share that experience soon in a more positive post but I am upset with how they are living

I woke up crying and I don’t understand why I was born if I can’t actually change anything

My excitement about anything quickly turns to disillusionment because reality is so much sicker

And now I was wondering why I was born at all if I can’t enjoy anything the way it is due to narcissism because I’m not a narcissist or a demon and it’s like they have a blue book that they’re using or a color by numbers on every aspect of life and I’m fucking sick of being micromanaged and thought controlled

And the girl working at the front booth was only 17 bless her little heart and she was talking about turning 18 soon, like that was her only goal was to have some more freedom and I didn’t have the heart to disillusion her on the 1st even though she said it was just like any other day and she was right, I was just trying to be positive but my positive energy has quickly faded with the reality of everything

There was some good aspects about it though and I want to focus on those when I do share my post and videos about it

But right now just let me cry

I mean the way those dolphins or whales were swimming in the ocean seemed very depressed to me but maybe that’s just my own projection of everything in the world

I am so sick, I am crying in public now

I go from being really happy and mellow to fucking mad and crying

Do you think this is what Edgar Allan Poe experienced before his end?

Is this why Jesus was like, why are you hitting me, if I did something wrong you could hit me but I didn’t fucking do anything for you to hit me 👀

But he was woke and against the establishment so they crucified him

My goal this year is to spend more time doing the things that I love and animals and nature is something I really love but we’re all slaves and I can’t really change that

I can only blog about it but I don’t want it to deter you from the excitement of the videos and photos that I’m gonna be sharing

It helps to talk about the things that are bothering me deep inside

But I got to name a baby alligator yesterday and that was a pretty amazing experience

I do believe we can petition to make their enclosure better and their environment better

I’m going to visit an alligator sanctuary soon and I may possibly even go to Gatorland in Orlando 🐊

There are caverns to visit and lots of things to do outside that I want to participate in

But in small increments because I am still dying

That’s probably why you get burst of happiness and sadness

🤪