Physical therapy has been scheduled for once weekly
So many vets coughing and being issued “Cadillac” wheelchairs – top of the line deathbeds – meanwhile – my new doctor is high-fiving me every step of the way – got knocked down – don’t intend to stay down.
Also – he was impressed with my rebounding results – and we’re focusing on core strength and conditioning – as well as stretching exercises.
There’s a program I was emailed – already downloaded the app *sigh* but my doc can keep up with my progress. You earn achievements.
It’s better than a coffin in the ground.
Those Cadillac wheelchairs swivel, the seats. But it’s not enough incentive for me to die.
Walking cane is a weapon, I told the front desk jokingly. He concurred.
Cute psychotic homicidal bitch.
Love two boys exactly the same.
They both ghosted me.
Too much woman all petite
Can’t handle me
I’m still recovering from not dying
18 months in…
Doc was impressed with my quads
Tough little bitch
Told him “ten minutes a day” and I’m up to twenty – but ten is all you need
He said he had 4 girls
Bet he’s gonna get his wife rebounding and the fam 🙂
He got on his computer, “this is what you use”
“Yep, one of them. Mine’s a Gold Gym – does the trick – but they got some costing a grand”
The fact that he looked up a rebounder tho 🙂
Cuz the peach is looking rump – it works the core – no need for high jumps or tricks – it’s resistance training – and my heart is responding really well – there’s zero impact to your joints – doesn’t upset my bones – and my physical therapist doctor did not instruct me to stop – and I appreciate he checked to understand the equipment I was using to get well.
But the peach 🙂
Also, despite the protein increase intake, I am 111 pounds.
When laying on my stomach, my peach is peachy – round rump
Gotta keep going
He said, “you go 20 without stopping”
And I said “yep”
But explained how I had to work up to those minutes.
2 minutes to start, then 5.
10 a day is all you need – I’m mostly 20. But do take an occasional rest day – and not fret.
I mark my calendar now, with the minutes jumped
Every step counts
My fucking heart hurts and it’s hard to breathe
But he taught me new stretches that actually help.
Got a good team now. Trying to be present.
The clerk made me a coffee before I left. From their personal stash. He poured a shit ton of cream in. He had the good stuff. LOL
Would be hardluck dating currently
“No sorry, busy that day”
And to find out it’s because I’m actually metamorphosing or something
Or that I have a crush with my doctor
But then – I have a crush on too many men – and it seems to get me in trouble
(I don’t actually have a crush on him but he was cute despite his mask on)
I’m professional. Chill.
Yesterday. All I saw was a white hand signaling me to cross – his SUV completely darkened – broad day – all I saw was a hand – it was just HOW he extended his hand for me to cross – the way it went down flat – in slow mo – as not to rush me – tho it takes trust obviously for these psychopaths not to run me over.
He liked my leggings presumably.
Even had a lady compliment me about them at the library
I was in such a depressed monotone state too – my attempt at being social felt awkward – like why did I have to speak other than “thank you”
“I got them at the mall” – as if only poor people dress like me (I’m self-loathing but looking hella cute)
But she wanted to know which store
“One of them seasonal shops in the middle, today is the last day”
Anyhoo – the way for him to signal for me to cross – like I had worth
Despite the cheap sandals
It requires effort and work to look like a professional fuck up
You don’t get a peach like this just being skinny
The quads are getting thick
The doc pointed out the strength
“The rebounding”, I exclaimed!
Been hard at it this year daily effort – and to be 20 minutes a day – still feeling the burn – but not needing to break for water…
You don’t need to spend loads of money getting equipment
I asked should I wear a belt or not
He advised against it, saying it makes the muscles “not need to work”
But he might be ordering me a ball (can’t remember the correct term) and some other thangs – just stated he didn’t want to overload me
Road to recovery continues
Need my mental health to catch up to my peach – heart still needs mending
Embarrassing, at my young age, got cardiopulmonary visits to attend
Told him, “those fucking vaccines”
“Crawled into the second one the way John Jones kept crawling into that hole”
So – he needed to know the condition of my heart before we proceeded with whatever we we’re going to do
He really improved my breathing with those stretches – love the detailed plan that was sent over – got some good doctors still
He didn’t have to order me a wheelchair, I got several high-fives, there may be hope for me yet 🙂
“After you” is all the hand implied
These fuckers are one pedal away from crazy, and I even crazier with the trust it takes to cross the street – or a running vehicle signaling me to go
But he was going so fast you know, I was willing to wait
“The hand” insisted with its one sweep
Couldn’t even see a face – so hidden
No point in looking back – windows blacked out
He was in a hurry to get where he needed to go – until I had to cross
Probably liked the leggings…
I’m basic and boring but like not
Top of the tier white trash
They forget they have yellow fever when they see me
I told my therapist that I did in fact have a plan b, but I wasn’t sure if it fell under planning, told her I have a mantra and motto now, “suicide is humane” but that I got my library card instead of a gun – and I graduated to another group class – this one 8 weeks long.
I’m like, “can we at least wait until I find out if I’m homeless or not” and so that was pushed back to April thankfully (the classes)
I sat there holding that extra calendar this morning, until God said “someone will need it” and I felt so awkward taking one solo calendar in – to place where other free shit normally is – only nothing was there – and I only had the one calendar to give – and a month has already passed, plus we’re day 2 February, but God said…
And not even 7:30 am some distressed vet at the front desk asking if they happened to have any calendars left – and they did not
And I told him loudly, “well God told me someone would be needing one, and I sat one down at the entrance if it is still there” – he hurried off
I thought, “he’ll return if he got it and let me know”
He fucking got it and was still reading it AFTER I went in and exited my appointment
Someone in fact did need a calendar
Two days into February…
God gives me assignments that make me feel awkward but I do them anyway…
People notice when I’m in a room
Am I too proud?
I certainly don’t look it with my head down
Even when my hair is untamed and a rope hanging round my neck – I swear – they see something I don’t
My God – I’ll be dreaming of it and my future boyfriend will ghost me because of it
“Bro, she was perfect, why did you let her go”
She cheated on me, in a dream