New carpet approved + (journal log)

So the front office approved my new carpet request for renewal – but the replacement is closer to April – my renewal time.

I also have to vacate for a few days – I requested new paint too – but the carpet was the big ticket item I was fighting for – and won. Don’t have to pay anything to have it replaced, so if they don’t paint, I can do that myself. I forgot to ask about the walls, the carpet was the main thing.

I literally would not renew without fresh carpet.

I’m going on six years here.

And, a bunch of units will be vacant soon – and redone – they are letting go of residents apparently. In my building.

New neighbors, new carpet, maybe another lease renewal. I mean, my carpet was approved.

New paint on the walls.

New lighting.

Clean space.


Do I want out of this God forsaken city? Yes.

Do I want to be homeless? No.

Moving is extremely challenging currently – in an inflated economy – when literally no one returns your calls or emails.

Meanwhile, the place I live has a SIX MONTH waiting list.

And – I’m under a homeowner buy program, I’d be giving up several years progress of that.

I have a COE through my military service – an incentive I earned.

Checking out financing books at the library, gonna take advantage of the tools offered to vets for “financial counseling”, basically starting over.

Right now it’s planning and prep for starting over.

And, there’s big pieces of furniture to be junked – but the junk removal wanted to charge me $300 to remove maybe half a truck load – of not actual junk.

I’ll ask around the neighborhood if anyone wants a recliner leather couch (they will) or a glass table (likely so – that bitch weighs over 500 pounds)

I WANT NEW CARPET – I fought for it – the manager said it’s coming in like a month and a half – plus fairly certain she got me the fresh paint request too!

I’m basically getting new grounds without leaving my grounds – but temporarily vacating for a few says – while maintenance does repairs!

So I’m working on getting everything cleared out!!!!!

I also found out today that I am marriage material – while fighting with my doc

I just got back from an MRI

My doctor complained he’s got to stay over with his other patient because I squirmed and we had to reimage around 15 minutes worth – setting him behind

I said “oh boo”

“I’m dying. The immigrants stole my job, and I’m not even marriage material. So I got more things to complain about”

My doc undoing my IV

“Why do you think you’re not marriage material” (he doesn’t let me answer)

“Well if you think it’s self-image, you’re wrong”

This was the end session

But during the screening he mentioned I was “fairly young” and then “young still” a couple more times

Also when I had to put on scrubs, they barely fit I’m so petite, I complained

He mentioned it was good, lots of “400 pound vets”

So I got a few things going for me still apparently (I’m doing an AAR – leave me alone)

1. I’m fairly young still

2. I’m petite

3. I am marriage material

That’s in scrubs that don’t fit, no makeup, oily hair (it’s being treated so it’s actually clean – I’m deep cleaning my entire existence lol)

Yesterday my physical therapist doctor couldn’t keep his hands off (his job – stop hating just cuz it felt good)

“Bro, why did you execute your wife”

“I didn’t like how the doctor was doing his job”

I must be a nice of fresh air from all the sickly dying vets

My sick and dying is still marriage material

I don’t know how someone pending surgery is marriage material but tis is…

He said “fairly young” but I reminded him I’m still ovulating and trying to “protect the goods” despite “getting on up there”

He was so trying to not look through his peripheral vision as I was leaving bless

I yelled at my doctor for making him late and not being marriage material – but he disagreed

I found out today that I’m getting new carpet and marriage material

I want some new tattoos

Warrior’s get knocked down – and ye I’m pending dying one day – but I ain’t in a wheelchair yet

I overheard one doc telling his patient “but you gotta stop drinking” (he won’t) but mine was high-fiving me and today another doc said I am marriage material

That’s what THE HAND implied

I long for a husband lol

Not one “running late to see his prostitutes”


And they all busy with the kids..

No, get yer ass home!

That fucking hand

And the dream wasn’t even sexual you psychopath

You were just waiting for me to fuck up – *rolls eyes*

I am trying to fix my self-image – apparently it’s destroyed – I need new carpet and a tattoo.

I’m probably juicing instead of surgery but holistic things cost a lot in an inflated market

I didn’t think I had any worth – but I got my 20 minutes in of rebounding today.

Small white girls are incredibly exotic

And desired

I’m not even wearing earrings anymore

I have freckles and bags and worry lines

My peach must be made of platinum – atomic number 78 – and the year I was born

I want a new blog

But then, there’s contending with the “rules for thee, not for me” agenda everywhere I go

You read through the fine print?

We can change whatever we want – whenever we want – we don’t have to notify you

I can’t even delete my PS Sony account – like wtf

I thought I was swearing off men forever – not all women are gold-diggers, or cheaters.

And I’d like to help some of those 400 pound vets not die

From their inflictions and addictions

Rebounding is saving my life

I was always in a leadership role

I need to find purpose with my life again

I just want updated things! I was completely left behind in society!!!!! I’m allowed to complain!!! Stop silencing me! The complaint wasn’t about you or us!

I think you threw away whatever you threw away despite me trying to get you to move to my free account (now deleted)

“I don’t understand metaphor”

Whatever helps you sleep at night

For me, new carpet would help. I’d sleep on it. Instead of this terrible bed!

It’s going in the trash bin!

Like everything in my life!!!!!!

Selling the ps4 and games at the pawn soon!!!!

Gonna cost nearly $200 for a 3 year commitment to a new blog, but generally $150 annually.

Even tho – most of the big cats have taken all the traffic.

We’re paying to chase our tails

I just wanna write!

It’s ridiculous I gotta pay extra to hide my identity from the web!

“Privacy protection”


And I went to Aldi for the first time – with a brain injury – unprepared

I want my own fucking yard

I don’t know how I’m asking for much

The library hooked me up with some seeds

I have 8 or 9 new seeds to grow things in my windowsill or whatnot

Books checked out from the library

Apparently men are still interested in women my age – despite looking like Edgar Allan Poe did 5 minutes before he died.

It’s very important to me to keep writing – God knows why (I wish he’d let me know)

I can’t just buy a domain anymore and hook it to a blog – you gotta get a plan – blah blah blah

But I already have a new identity

Bet I made the doc late for his dinner with his prostitute – or maybe he reserves Friday nights for “the wife”

I like that we both yelled at each other but didn’t get mad

He still thought I was marriage material after scolding him for making him late for his next patient

I’m so much drama in such a small frame

Need a hubby…

But he’ll divorce me because I told the doctor “yes that feels good”

I bought cabbage and stuff to make soup

They threw enough “energy” at me to “heat things up” and energy is radiation I think – had enough so getting offline now

Gonna be easier to let more things go tomorrow – knowing the new carpet is coming soon – getting my little apartment redone – might can survive the rest of the apocalypse

Keep praying for me…

Trying to get back on my feet

Not a wheelchair – and I’m happy for those who get the new top of the line ones!!!!

Not all disabilities are visible!!

The only way I’d sign another year lease here – was to get the carpet replaced

It took nearly 3 weeks to get approval on that!

Got it today!!!!!!

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