Tell him every time I go to buy vegan dairy, it’s SPOILT
I guess the asshole packing my $100 order (not including delivery and tips) decided to get the cold items first, leave them out for hours, until delivery?
And I paid MORE for dairy free
I paid MORE for delivery
But I guess the fat asshole is quietly quitting
But he was wanting that tip
Meanwhile, I’m stuck in a storm DYING and now I ain’t got no snacks to eat
These demons get paid either way right
I’m just a stupid skinny white bitch
He’s one cookie away from a heart attack and I hope it finds him quicker now
When you’re trying to TikTok shop but the plagues notice that the audience is the same size as the host and then follow you 👀
The Host: “I’m not sure what you’re implying but if you don’t stop, I will have to mute or block you….”
Him: “she is the same size as you”
Him: randomly tags me without a message
Him: “I like your fit”
Anyhoo. I guess the romper/shrug was a hit.
I gained 1 more follower (that isn’t why I shopped for a romper tho, it’s a separate goal)
I’m waiting on the bodysuits & accessories to arrive.
Yesterday it was hot in Florida and today I need a coat.
Yesterday I would have passed out in anything but slides, shorts, and a tank.
Today I need Arctic gear 🥶
If the doctor told me, I was menopausal, I would punch him, call him a liar, and tell him to pay my electric bill.
Fortunately for me, even in my age, those words never sound.
And my body isn’t behaving in such a way, EARTH is
Stop deflecting ✋🛑✋
Oh this has happened lots over the last month or two, so thanks
This was last night…
And my hashtag over on TikTok has reached 23K
If I could stop dying long enough and figure out, how do use social media, I might could put out some better content
Not even better just effort
Like here, here’s a poem I wrote 5 years ago
How hard is it to do a soft reading and hit record?
Is it worth 200 views?
I’m totally satisfied at 1000 views. I feel it’s worth effort.
But with nearly 5k followers, it’s hard to make sense.
I’d probably be happy with 500-700 views consistently
I’d hate it even worse at zero
But yeah, I did buy some yoga sets and things to keep warm for the winter
The price was good 👍
I’m getting good feedback
There was only ONE BOY who got mad at me spending my own money on things I actually need
🤡
I gotta take my dog out again before he makes me start WW4
It can’t be that hard taking care of a hellhound but once again I found myself sobbing in front of a mirror like God was behind the other end begging “please I can’t do this… take him to heaven with you”
And then the other version of me saying “get ahold of yourself”
And I took bath number two cuz he ruined the first one and has driven me to full insanity
The heart needs the hot magnesium salt baths…
If the ego can’t get a fucking grip, we backtrack and start again
Insanity!
It’s like when you feel yourself starting to fall slowly but you can’t stop the grip
And next thing you know the wind has been knocked out of you
And the only words that surface as you lay there contemplating existence is “goT damm it” or “fuck”
These demons trying to ban curse words 🤡
Thank you so much for all the awesome feedback on my little jumper set! I think I paid six or 7 bucks for the jumper, about the same for the sweater (which I can mix n match)
He asked, “why do you wanna buy something you won’t wear”
And like…
Blazer + yoga set is definitely my style
Sorry not sorry 🤔
But the Lord answered my prayers
I can wear my blazers and loungewear together
THIS IS LIFE 🤩
(Don’t tell him about the makeup and hair products I’ve ordered)
(I’m literally dying but it’s a transformation)
I’m transforming
At least I know what sex I am 👀
I’m also shopping for guns as there’s a no license to carry law in Florida now
Trigger happy 🤩
Because I’m a Soldier
And we at war…
NEED GUNS
Shhhhhhhh
Cute but fierce?
My bag will contain more than makeup or maybe it will be a decoy 🤔
Anyhoo
My sister died
And now I’m making Chinese TikTok hosts into my sister
Sometimes I tune in just to hear them say “Ill try it on for you” but I’m one of their best customers and they help me sleep
I find shopping with them soothing
Retail therapy 🤩
But c’mon, I love this phase I’m moving into
I didn’t know I could wear my blazers with my yoga sets
But I can 🤩
Cuz he’s probably right a tiny bit
And I’ve talked to God
And prayed about what to do
And I knew I could part was some of the clothing and donate it or thrift it, but I was having a hard time wanting to part with any of my Blazers, even though I wasn’t sure where I could wear them
But I’ll forget you just like I forgot your fucking birthday
And I’ll cast you to hell to burn for all eternity 😬
I had to get closer to bite the snakes head off and now I’m tainted
I’m setting a boundary though so I don’t open up to you about my personal life anymore so you can play shit brigade on my happies
We both know I’m a diamond in the rough and you just don’t want anybody else to get their hands on me
There’s two versions of me, the version I was and the version I want to become and somewhere in the middle there’s clothing I bought that just isn’t working out, and I am allowed to fucking dress myself
If I were seeking only validation or a shit ton of validation or validation, in general, I probably would post daily fucking videos on my goTdamn TikTok
Or weekly
Or monthly
But I’m selfish and don’t want anyone seeing the treasure in the closet
Recently, I wanted to buy an Apple Watch and I was like a GPS would be nice especially because I’m hurt and I could be watched 24 seven and I love being spied on 24 seven and then if I did get hurt I could just push a button and someone could come out or whatever but then I was more concerned that BLM would want to kidnap me because I was wearing an Apple Watch 👀
So I guess I ain’t getting a watch
But don’t tell him about all the weapons that I’m buying
That’s where the real treasure is
This is the Devil’s society where every fucking choice is a sin
I literally planned for a makeover and now he’s mad at me about it and I’m not even over with my makeover 🙄
I don’t even own a LBD (little black dress) 😲
Anyhoo
I talk to God a lot about my habits
He never makes me feel like the biggest piece of shit in the world if I fail at something
He allows me to learn
In a positive environment
I’ve been trying to grow plants and just because I’m failing doesn’t mean I’m gonna give up on growing a garden in the future..
Or continuing to learn how to manage my finances
But for the record, I follow the 50/30/20 rule as that’s what all the library books taught me when I was trying to learn about all of this and buying clothes is part of the 30 🤓
Like where am I wrong?
My bills are paid. I’m working off 2 debts. I refuse to take out any loans or credit cards.
I’m jumping ship when God signals to me “this land here” and I can become a landowner and thus figure out how to take care of the wildlife
I need to build bird a house
And give turtle 🐢 a cool area
The ark is the land
I need to fertilize the earth or something 😫
I need things to grow 😫
I’m sick of all the war death sickness and fighting
I’m dying!!!!!!!
I only get this one chance to feel things
I’m pretty much dead inside, but the clothing and heating pad was starting to give me some life
And God too 🥺
I’m part of the 244
And what’s wrong with taking care of yourself
I know you’d rather me be a crack whore without any teeth
Yea I mean I’m following the 50/30/20 rule until I’m content with the clothing
Because I don’t have too much of an addictive personality. I will course correct fairly quickly when I realize I’m going down that route.
I really think you would’ve liked what I was gonna mail you but you’re a fucking dick
But whose gonna tell her that “things aren’t well down there” and it’s not from hitting a vape from the ground? 😭
This is what men like/want 😭
Women wearing sweatpants with no panties shitting themselves in the streets? 😭
She gave this info out freely? 😭
I pissed myself in the Golden corral parking lot once because I ate too much and was laughing too hard
Does that count for confession? 😭
I told my daughter to never tell anyone 😭
The panic in my voice “I’m pissing myself / it won’t stop coming out” and then my daughter nearly pissing herself from laughing too hard
I thought I would take that one to the grave with me
But since people are shitting themselves in public – and I don’t know where the rest of this story goes – I’m too disgusted with these demons in my feed
Oh thanks for that. I’d be so grateful if I knew how to edit/fix my blog. Without having to spend $500 minimum to start over with a new blog.
But I’m glad you’re still here.
Sometimes I feel I lost my touch, that I won’t get back what I had before.
And I’ve been thinking a lot about purpose.
And how Bruce Willis (an actor if you don’t know) “recognized his entire family today” because we can’t take our memories with us when we die.
And I’m fighting so hard to hang on to a life that in two year, perhaps, I won’t remember the war I fought in.
I won’t remember we’re in a 6th mass extinction – and white people are being systematically exterminated.
I’m in the center of society watching its own extinction.
I woke up crying bleeding between my legs and poetry piling on the tongue.
And this little poem was born.
They say focus on what makes you happy (as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else).
Writing makes me happy. Or content.
Even if the context is more volcanic.
I quit therapy. Maybe I’ll discuss in another thread.
Maybe I should pay the happiness engineers $500 to have AI build me a website but didn’t we once buy software for $50 to do that? Furthermore, they want a business plan to run it???
Cuz simply upgrading to “no ads” and “use my own domain” so my readers can visit worryfree isn’t enough, on the personal plan I can’t hire WordPress to use AI to create me a website nor am I allowed to “chat support”. That’s a different paid plan. 👎👎
They can’t even fix my current issue and I sent screenshots.
They absolutely could fix it, with the flip of a switch.
Like breathing to them.
THEY’RE GONNA BURN IN HELL.
Went through everything I owned. Took inventory. Still have stuff sprawled out. Need organizers and hangers. And some other minor things.
But now I get to fixate on something else now.
The closet is full. As planned.
And the pantry, fridge, and freezer.
I’m quarantining for a long while – no family get together for me this season. I have offered to mail out cards tho.
Postscript: I broke down and renewed my medical card. Instant approval. Ordered my goods online, they called immediately letting me know my script was expired. I have an appointment in the morning with the good doc and she said, “okay, will go ahead and fill it”
Haven’t smoked since May and come tomorrow I’m gonna be on the moon.
They had cartridges for $18. *sigh*
I thought it would takes weeks or more before I could smoke again.
Nope. Less than 24 hours. 🎃
Maybe I’ll start writing again and going to the beach.
I hate blocks. I hate WordPress. I can’t sort out the about me page no matter what I do. Even though I pay for a plan, I’m not privy to chat support cuz it’s a personal plan.
I hate how I treated you.
Even though I wasn’t in control of myself.
I just started group therapy once a week for six months and others in group say “like” and “uhm” every other word. I’m not exaggerating.
They have zero self-awareness and the conversation makes me wanna end all existence.
People do this on social media too and I wanna jump from a bridge.
It’s so hard to engage or have compassion when all I hear is terrible speech patterns.
Helps.
You’re like a little piece of string in a dark cave I can’t let go of.
Would you write my obituary? And lay to rest all the sins I carry? For to sadness I am married And our love it should be buried
They come They go It’s my fault though Status too low Weep like willow
You’re always on the run Never stop running You’re never having fun Complain the sun is sunning
I’ve never had anything, and now I’ve got too much. And I could lose it anytime, that’s always been my luck.
I’m sorry but I’m not I said what I thought Feelings come and go Sometimes I take a shot No matter lesson told I say it on the spot You know I can be cold
People already think so lowly of me, I can’t get anymore low.
But it’s easy to judge when your grass is always green.
I’ve been on this earth unmarried for eons, it’s literally hell.
I like being naughty sometimes but I never was that naughty.
We’re literally born nude and we can’t take our clothing to heaven.
I miss doing spicy photography.
I don’t know what to tell you
I just wish I was already moved.
But I’m holding out for land instead of spending uppers of $6k to jump apartment’s.
I am overdue a new environment.
It’s hard to be inspired and motivated in a place I can’t stand.
I’ve only ever posted nude photos, never compromised myself by doing anything other than photography. Though many requests came in with $$$ offerings and I ran folks off.
I have some very cute outfits and have been working out despite growing old.
95% of my household items are gone. Either sold, donated or dumped.
Things are in boxes minus my closet.
I still sleep on the floor.
So think what you will of me, but I miss my tribe.
My accounts were active and I had a lot of traffic.
Now everything is stagnant.
I’m tired of stagnation.
I don’t see anything wrong with nude art.
It teaches me how to be a woman, something man has failed at doing.
But they gave me my username back, and that makes me feel better. 😘
I’m terrible with secrets.
I don’t know where I’m going, I just know I don’t want to be here.
Please pick up a feather and write me a letter Please open your eyes and bring us sunrise Please do right a wrong and don’t take very long Please deliver fall and give me a call
So this guy turned 12 on Saturday. Mostly a good boy. He hates the neighborhood and I don’t blame him one bit. There’s nothing to like. We wanna move. He’s trying to make it to 13. And despite the ups and downs, I didn’t give up on him. Tribulations.
I contacted my mom on my birthday. She was happy to hear from me. She said she loved me but I never said it back.
Just wanted her to know I made it to 45.
She also kept bringing up my sister who died and I also never responded about her.
She wants to see me so I might be getting a visitor this year.
Maybe.
P.S. I’m obsessed with Pinko blazers and clothing and getting a new wardrobe. Never wore a blazer in my life and now I got a weeks worth. Even got a Beetlejuice looking one. Cuz.
I may or may not share my new wardrobe at some point. Doing it for me and no one else. Not dressing for views. But it kills the blues (shopping).
People want me posting more but it’s so much work and I can’t break 300 views.
I think I’m just exhausted in all areas of life and would rather sit outside. It’s hard for me to connect.
I’m literally dead inside.
No empathy, no sympathy.
Pissed off at the world.
Just talk to God mostly. Cry. Pray. Regret. And then practice gratitude.
I am grateful for my closet.
For owning clothing I wanna wear.
But I don’t wanna go anywhere.
Time to just be dressy cuz.
“What’s the occasion?”
“We’re in hell and I’m alive….”
Can’t take nothing with me to heaven.
Would be 10x happier if I moved somewhere the mold wasn’t killing me.
I still don’t know what’s growing aside from the Forget Me Nots that are slowly dying
I’m trying not to kill them
Too much sun, not enough water
Who fucking knows. But they all got a new house to stretch out their roots – which weren’t looking bad. I added magnesium salt cuz we all need it in our lives.
Someone said don’t get attached to your plants but I haven’t learned that yet.
Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6 And your enemy won’t let you forget You remember this? You remember that? The enemies on my throne He’s wearing my damn hat!
You can’t unbreak the broken Take back words spoken The spell in your eyes The holes that you hide
They were bred to kill and steal I’m behind the wheel Driving full speed And it ain’t you’re automobile
Bred to kill and steal Like they made the Devil’s deal I will send you back to hell That’s the real ordeal
When one door closes Nail a board over it Plant some roses Don’t submit
The fury inside me Hot as the sun The fury inside me Someone’s gonna burn
You can’t escape from prison Until you realize you’re in one Like the Devil’s maze Calling shotgun
Remove yourself Put your tail between your legs And get some help Support withheld Look in mirror and do foretell We’re parallel The way your lies do spin You’re a carousel
I’m gone Fucking replace me Won’t let you face me I’m racing Dust in cloud I’m hasty Like laced lace Revenge is tasty
Too cold to care Fuck me with I dare You build despair And I linger there
Sometimes I think I’m talking to a ghost And he’s dropping breadcrumbs Like he’s the one that I love most But I’m still hungry…
Regret will eat you alive Nightmares become visions you wear
We are going forward in reverse Like the truth makes it hard for the knowing Or where we’re actually going Like living in a hearse The spell is his verse And try to break this curse It’s poison that we’re sowing
My parents ruined my life They only sought to bring me strife Smile at me then stab me in my back Complain it’s God I lack
Say I’m full of darkness Laugh at me regardless I wish my parents were dead I’d piss on their grave instead
Already being trolled by a Boomer cuz my student loans were forgiven that he thinks I should pay so he can enjoy his retirement at GEN X expense
College was a scam met with government furloughs and hiring freezes
Government programs favor giving our best jobs to the immigrants cuz they work harder and are smarter (according to their accord)
I’m aware only X amount of people will qualify for student loan forgiveness
And I should keep secrets to myself
But a reporter know-it-all on TikTok said you’d get an email from the Department of Education if you qualified.
I haven’t received any emails at all
I’m not even certain if I paid anything on my loans or just kept them in good standing
Cuz I’ll get it paid back if I did and will need to pay taxes on it again, like I won the damn lottery – and it would probably put me in a different tax bracket
I’ll worry about that toilet clogging when it clogs
I’ve only just received two letters informing me that my debts were cancelled and that my obligation to pay them is over. Tell the Boomers to deal with it.
My loan providers are no longer allowed to contact me, according to the letters.
The weight is off my shoulders but the worry lines remain…
I’ve been in fight or flight mode so long now I don’t know how to shut it off and just be.
My birthday is next month, on the 19th
I’ve already spoiled myself
I have goals of paying off my 2 credit cards and buying some land not land locked and far far away from a city of despair and demons
I want it to take 15 minutes to walk to my mailbox times two squared
I need an umbrella, not for the rain but for the sun
People will look at me like I’m crazy
Byeee
My student loans were forgiven despite the Boomers wishes…
He’s the color of rufous An absolute doofus He’s the color of sky With black in his eye
Wish we were exclusive Instead of reclusive Like dreaming is lucid He’s the color of life
21 inch porthole Thick socks for the cold The vessel did implode I guess it didn’t hold
They got crushed Their vessel was rushed Now they’re all just dust
Victories not just The dangers were discussed Labeled with mistrust
He never told me how much he loved me Hot sun above me Make me swoon Left me for doom
There’s something in the water I won’t barter The coverup is worse than the crime We’ve all lost our mind
Only the beginning Can’t tell whose winning The cold is chilling Earth is spinning Sun is not forgiving
The rich are the cheapest people Definitely not my equal
SOS only And I’m so lonely My home ain’t homely
My shadow leaves me when it’s dark When I’m shattered into pieces And I feel I have no heart
My breath it nearly ceases A landscape growing stark
I’m running out of patience I’m afraid I’ll miss my mark There’s very few releases
Immured in bitterness It makes no difference I’m dull, won’t take a risk Skipping deaths kiss
The sun comes and goes The ebb and the flows Midnight lows The oh’s and the throes He could heal my soul Or let it decompose In the meadows With the crows
Got the hexes on my exes Nothing here perplexes They’re reckless My math is only guesses
I want to be her The girl he swoons for The one he adores I want her blood on the floor I want to see her die Wouldn’t find a tear in my eye But I’m an amateur
It’s hot and humid I hate his hubris Thinks we’re all clueless Will betray like Judas
I don’t know what’s going on, says the captain Knowledge lacking Inside the cabin
Right is forward and left is back Experts they lack Inside a tiny shack
The question makes his blood run cold He’s the Devil you know
If they’re not already dead they will be That’s what the sources tell me And I have a feeling that is sinking With that submarine
Double penalized on TikTok for leaving a positive review.
Gotta walk on eggshells to avoid a ban.
TikTok rewarded me with a $15 coupon for the ass beating tho.
Then during the live chat to figure out WHY I’m in the doghouse, I was nearly booted for inactivity after being asked to wait 2-3 minutes to sort it…
Damned if I do, damned if I don’t
Ah reward
But the 15 dollar coupon helped…
I was pretty heated after taking time to review and upload photos to help support my review as it’s allowed – only to get penalized for giving a 5* rating…
It’s hell down here…
I bought a romper from the TikTok shopping
And some other things. Better photos when/if I stop breaking out in hives. 🙂
Photo doesn’t belong to me but neither does my hard-earned money.
And I’m finding my most viral videos uploaded on YouTube without my permission, without any payment, without any request of use, without any way to message or contact those using my work, without having downloads turned on for anyone to use at will.
I film a particular way – when I’m shooting the sea, or whatever I’m filming.
It’s all a fucking shitshow and I need 100k followers or something to turn ‘tips’ on.
Recently someone wanted to send me $200 – but they also have invited me to ‘live free’ at one of their condos they own.
Nothing about my life sounds safe or too good to be true.
Furthermore, I had to delete my PayPal, Cash App, and Venmo accounts due to spam and whatnot cuz not even my money is safe.
Banks are shutting down. Billionaires are being offed or are maniacally suicidal risk takers, at the expense of our tax dollars.
I’m not even certain if the IRS is legal.
And the Lie House is funneling our money to criminals in the Ukraine and God knows where else.
I finally put a work order in to service the AC for mold.
Cuz maintenance is always “I don’t smell any mold” but I’m fucking still breaking out in hives, either from a nervous fucking breakdown or actual moldy conditions not noticeable “it’s in the walls” reviews will say…
And I haven’t smoked any weed since May – so I’m past the two week window but it takes a minimum of 4 months to recover from CUD (Cannabis User Disorder) and I still have brain fog.
I’m doing a lot of cleaning tho – and I actually do my laundry and put it away immediately, a slight miracle to not be sleeping next to clean clothes.
I still have no furniture and sleep on the floor and I made another clothing purchase – albeit I slept on the decision first – like I nearly always do.
And even tho the flash code of 25% had already ended, it was still valid further sealing the deal.
I’m obsessed with Dolls Kill boutique and hunt down the cotton stuff, though have bought a few cute sets that were poly blends.
I also got house thangs and shoes which I’ll likely never wear and will stay in the box…
I’m pushing myself to go skating despite the hives and nervous breakdowns.
I bought bath rugs and kitchen oven mits from DK – cuz obsessed
And sales + discount codes on top of sales
You should see the jogger set’s I’ve scored and maybe one day you will
I think I’m looking less hideous than my recent TikTok posts but at least I’m not lying on the bottom of the seafloor in pieces.
So there’s that.
It feels nice getting things in the mail other than spam and bills.
I can’t opt out of the spam and the US post office is selling our data, just like I learned Papa John’s was doing – so I deleted my account (like 2 or 3 years ago) and basically stopped supporting big business.
I should be allowed to order pizza without my data being sold.
I hate (even worse) how society is ran now.
All the pencil dick dictator leaders brownnosing Big China – who wants to nuke us and have us live in fear 24/7
I had another nightmare last night, this time trying to escape zombies.
I’ve not been watching any horror movies or zombie things.
My nightmares always consist of me trying to escape something and finding myself in a closure I cannot escape.
Whether it be a room with no windows or doors, or something else. It’s always the climax I wake up on.
Have to reassure myself, “pew, it was only a dream”
I was consistently going down – hills – roads – grass – indoor walkways at incredible speeds all while trying to avoid the numerous zombies coming after me.
My dreams are always fucking nightmares…
It doesn’t help that the Devil is always after me when I’m awake
I hope I leave the house for something other than food or doctors visits of medical malpractice
Maybe to do something within the community like church or skating
But then I risk the chance of catching Covid or some other disease being spread with malicious intent and purpose
People are always coughing
I literally roll up my car window when I hear a bystander or another rider coughing
My immune system was compromised
I just wanna be home
But this don’t feel like home
It feels like a deathtrap
Just like the unsinkable Titan
TITANic
I take a shit ton of vitamins like immunity support supplements that I have to order from a different country cuz everything is poisoned here
I’m trying to fix my eating habits
And I’m still obsessed with his stories
Which are probably responsible for my nightmares
(I blame war FYI)
My laundry is almost done and I’m craving a shopping dopamine boost
“We have everything we need bb”
“I know but I really want it”
“Okay but this is the last time”
“I’m almost done getting the things I need and at least I’m spending less”
“We get paid soon again”
*sigh*
“Okay but just one more thing…”
I got rid of everything in my life cuz I hated it and told myself we could replace it with things we want/need
I’m in replacement mode but refuse to buy a bed or furniture until I move
The neighbors make me wanna do bad things
The city drives me insane
The entire earth could be Eden but naw, invasive species left and right
“This country was founded on immigration” and they vote with malicious intent and purpose
I may like your stories but I know you voted for Biden and I want to punch you
I’m still homicidal and suicidal but I’m no longer signing waivers
That’s some fucking bullshite. Stole money from the civilians pockets to fund a future murder/death.
CEO wouldn’t even hire experts. I’m annoyed and angry!!! Voting means absolute shite. This government is nihilistic!!!!!! Satan’s society!!!! Over it!!!!
The Lie House – I mean White House was notified and knew that the explosion was heard and happened on Sunday – yet drug us along – giving us false hope and sensationalized the story – probably as a false flag while other pressing issues were happening – they gave us false hope of a recovery mission knowing damn well the explosion was the Titan and that they were dead
Furthermore this…
Forward Starboard (a poem)
Left and right might be forward and back Right is forward Rotate controller Left is back
Skill issue tbh
Basically something was installed backwards and people in the Titan were stuck and the solution was to reprogram the controller and the guy in the sub said he needed to write this all down
Had to turn the controller sideways to drive the sub
There were so many issues with the unsinkable Titan
But for the Lie House to drag us along is bullshite
THEY KNEW THE EXPLOSION WAS THE TITAN ON SUNDAY
Yet we all worried they were down there suffering or potentially could be rescued
Even though our government is funneling money to Ukraine and approving lab grown meats or some shite
I need to disassociate from politics and turn my cheek to the unsinkable Titan
Hopefully I can write a better poem than the one above which is basically word for word nearly of the insanity unfolding about the Titan
I was convinced they were dead Sunday when coms suddenly stopped but they convinced me otherwise that hope might be near the vicinity when they knew damn well of an explosion
“We hear banging sounds every 30 minutes”
Fucking criminals need to be hung *insert something* from the tallest tree
I was convinced they were dead on Sunday when coms were lost but noooooo they made me doubt myself when I knew
They withheld pertinent details about the case
We’re living in a manmade hell
Putsutclutzlurzuzyrjv ufzfsluruslyr
That’s all…
I did more shopping and more cleaning and that’s basically how my Friday went
I found a skate center AND CALLED
So hopefully I’m closer to my goal and once I go it’ll be hard to stop
Just gotta make that first step
Admission is like $8 bucks I think but I only inquired about hours and if I could bring my own skates…
I might even get a piece of cardboard pizza cuz who goes skating without eating the junk food?
I haven’t been skating since I was a kid/teenager and tbh don’t know why I stopped doing the things I love
They even have “adult night” which goes til late but I’d rather go during daylight
Nothing good ever happens after dark…
P.S. they died in fear – don’t be fooled by “there was no pain” – they absolutely felt pain briefly – and the cracking was enough to put fear mode on
Y’all the son was terrified to go – didn’t want to go – didn’t listen to his intuition – only wanted to bond with his dad – as the trip fell on Father’s Day weekend – he died in fear – as if it couldn’t be anymore heartbreaking
The parents first priority should have been keeping him safe
They could have bonded over dinner and a movie – it shouldn’t take extreme events to form a bond with your parents
My God…
Gut wrenching
Bless his heart
He was only 19 – a teenager – and the frontal lobe doesn’t fully form until age 25
He was just a kid…
A young man just getting into manhood
Not quite an adult yet
And fuck anyone who says otherwise
NINETEEN – TEEN – TEENAGER
How fucking dense are you?
I think those little red flags are messages from God – our intuition – that gut feeling
That we all seem to ignore
And often it cost us our lives
He shouldn’t have been allowed to go on an unregulated experimental deep dive sub – with zero experience
He didn’t even want to go…
And, there’s a video of the CEO bragging that you would hear “creaking sounds” and alarms warning if the hull would implode
You shouldn’t have to risk your life to get the love and care you need from a parent
As if, I couldn’t hate parents even more…
The aunt said he had a “terrible feeling” so sad
Parents aren’t worth dying for
And now they’ll never bond again
He died in fear, I know he did
His dad likely didn’t give a fuck about his kid – or his safety
Making him sign all those waivers…
Peer pressure
Fuck everything…
“Why do you care about the kid”
BECAUSE I DO
People aren’t worth dying for
Listen to your intuition
Little messages from God
Or 6000+ years of evolution
But he was smart enough to know something was off…
He kept crawling in that hole – for others
Only his hole was a sealed up tin can
And yeah, you absolutely feel the pain of being blown up – you do – even if it goes fast – you experience hell
They’re starting to find debris from the unsinkable Titan…
I don’t think a teenager is capable of mitigating the risk involved.
This comment is terrible but why did I laugh? Like damn….
People absolutely hate billionaires. The comments unfolding…
It’s safe to say, they’re no longer suffering.
I haven’t slept in days so probably some spelling mishaps.
I’ve slept a little that were filled with tossing and nightmares.
Grateful to still be fighting for my life. Having shoppers guilt and I don’t understand why.
Mostly think “what’s the point, will I even live long enough to enjoy it”
Followed by “my sister died at 45, buy the stuff”
Followed by “we could be dead tomorrow so what’s the point”
Followed by “I really want it”
Followed by “I know”
Why am I having buyers guilt? Not remorse? Cuz I do not regret anything in my closet.
I mostly regret being sick and dying…
I told myself I’ll stop shopping eventually
LIKE WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO
I’m not even doing it for views…
It’s the first time I’ve ever owned clothing I actually like
I’m no longer spending hundreds of dollars monthly on medicinal that made me worse
And I know I need to move but it ain’t happening overnight
Long ago I could pack up and drive around, look at a few places, and get a key
It’s no longer that easy or affordable
I’ll likely be just as miserable and my AC is probably full of mold
Putting a work order in…
Rent increase in August but it’s still 3 or 4 times cheaper than a 1 bedroom elsewhere
Damned if I do, damned if I don’t
And I did get new carpet here
I’m just gonna keep fixing it up
Until I have land + a tent
But there’s cracks in the ceiling
CRACKS IN THE CEILING
I fear sinkholes
Also Florida is in hurricane season nearly again
I’ve lived through THREE hurricanes here
2 of them I lost power over a week…
In the summer heat…
I’m sure that’s excellent for moldy conditions
And Wolfy hasn’t shown her face since I screamed bloody murder twice
She probably wanted me to feed her like I do the other house spider
I have terrible arachnophobia
I’m pretty much scared of everything
I think she’s gonna have babies and need to relocate the sack
But she’s guarding it
This isn’t going as planned and I keep feeding her
I’m turning into a witch and Halloween commences August 31st this year – hopefully still alive to wear my cute Halloween themed outfits (throughout XMAS)
Clothing gives me a reason to live
Do other people feel guilty spending money on things they want and need?
I did say I wanted to start over and got rid of 95% of my belongings which I hated and brought me zero joy
It sucks because I have zero family or friends to confide in
I have to be my own best friend and say “baby girl buy it”
And then I thank myself and God and God and God when I do…
Cuz I’m grateful but ain’t allowed to let my neighbors know…
More chitter chat cuz squirrel is my spirit animal
Grateful to have a floor to stretch out on
New bed when I move, that’s the deal
Meanwhile, more clothes were bought today.
Just a few…
And… the face serum I’m using from Victoria Health, is actually improving my skin tone, some of the weathered spots aren’t as dark – but I woke up to a nasty comment – in which I immediately blocked user – he stated, “nothing worth moaning about”
First off, I moan about everything
Secondly, the vitamins are saving my life
And my skin has improved
So will likely get something for my hair and body next, as I learned most shampoo and conditioner causes hair loss…
And that missing package cost a pretty penny
The mailman didn’t even put the correct term as it stated it was left with an individual, which meant some motherfucker stole my package
Turns out it was in the lockbox, and I wasn’t given the key
I shook hands with the mailman and all was forgiven
But I lit a fire under the post offices ass and it was a pain in the ass filing out that declaration of honor for the UK – but I was happy to email VH back and say package found!!!
It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to…
They have about 9 hours of air remaining
That robot submarine they are sending down, can’t bring them up, only help get them unstuck if they’re stuck
I think it’s safe to say they’re stuck regardless
But some answers will be nice
Have they imploded?
Are they still alive?
What an expensive way to die
Honestly, I’m hoping for the best
I learned another sub was saved with only 12 minutes remaining
But they weren’t on the sea floor
I don’t know if they gave us false hope just to $$$$$ use more resources and bill the government whom the tax payers will pay
This is coming out of our pockets, this rescue/recovery
RIP John Jones
The experts are trained to not become a casualty
They don’t do shit…
But sit on the clock $$$$
Time/energy is $$$
And I ain’t Einstein…
They say don’t eat late at night but it’s when I’m most hungry…
I’m HUNGRY
And I can’t stop thinking about that damn electric submarine – I mean submersible
He was invested in his electric toys
He was in debt
A drowning man will drown another
If a Baby Boomer jumped from a bridge would you follow
Wait, that’s not how it goes
If a boomer led you off a cliff, would you follow…
Their oxygen levels run out 7 am Thursday morning – 96 hours was all they had
Maybe shouldn’t have brought the teenager
Wonder if they’ve panicked and used up O2 or remained calm, if still alive…
So much effort to find and save the crew
It’d be an absolute miracle and maybe one we need
I feel so bad for them, I do
But my go-to is to get angry when someone dies or is dying
The audacity
To die on my watch
I don’t deal with death well at all
Sometimes I go silent
Sometimes I laugh
Mostly I get angry
And then cry…
I can’t imagine being stuck in that tin can
He swore no matter what happened it was safe
Lying and gaslighting should be illegal
I fucking hate this world
Demons everywhere
No wonder I’m so miserable
And was before I was born
I had awareness
Understood language
I didn’t want to be born
All my life tragically suicidal
They’ve made assisted suicide legal in Canada
Folks getting approved for anything
Nihilistic environment
Nihilistic government
Separation from God
Science is nihilism
My heart is so heavy for them, in that tuna can
One person said, “they have no water” followed by “it’s dripping with condensation”
*rolls eyes
They all took a sandwich and bottle of water
And if the tuna can is dripping with condensation – uhm – drinky?
At least they have a toilet with a view they can’t see through
I’m not getting any sleep tonight
Bless
The ocean terrifies me
I got my kitchen tidied up and plan to shop for God grown foods soon – hopefully not poisoned
Need some comforting homemade soup
Glad to have feet on ground
And able to keep moving
Not ready to die
I am breathing deeper now, like can get air to my belly
Must focus on the gains
The fact that I can take deep breath’s again
Terrified to do anything cuz people are unhinged and insane
My neighbors make me want to commit some crimes
Without remorse
The will it takes to not snap
All these monster men killing their children and family but keeping the mom alive – for revenge
Need hung immediately
Narcissism is a plague
But these monsters need to be rid of the earth
Let’s start with Chyna
And the de-lites
Bless their hearts, the ones lost at sea
The regret they must feel
The anger
The delusional CEO is probably convinced they will be found
Probably will gaslight them until the end
It will be nothing short of a miracle if they are found alive
I don’t know what lessons God has for us here
We have freewill
I don’t know why John kept crawling in that fucking hole
“I thought I was somewhere else on the map”
“I thought it would open up”
Panic – he was thinking and he was given an incorrect map
That section should have been blocked off after two boys got trapped inside
I’m just so fucking mad!!!!
At the nurses, at the doctors, at the Chinese!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t want any of them in my feed!!!!
Give them angry looks when I’m out and about!!!!
IDGAF
The first Bible can be traced back to Asia
You think I’m gonna smile at the Devil!!!
I have fury!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop micromanaging me!
Stop hacking me!!!!!
Fuck off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever seen lightning on the ocean?
P.S. I think earth was a frozen planet, we maybe hit another planet and was pushed closer to the Sun’s orbit, things melted – but why is this never discussed in science?
And does science take into account that objects are closer than they appear – with those mirrors they use to peer?
I’m telling you, the math is fucking wrong
The darkness can act as a mirror
And the famous speech from the moon happened on earth
I am absolutely invested emotionally in this lost submarine
So poetry…
All the money in the world won’t save them And there’s banging from the deep, there’s mayhem All the prayers for them now, feel like a sunken gem Who do we fault, who do we condemn?
“It has one button, that’s it” Says the narcissist
5 are dead or dying While some are crying Other’s are denying Trouble underlying
Remote Like our love A breach in hull Shipwrecked is soul
Crushed is hope But do you know the scope An uncertified submarine Nightmare or dream?
Dark waters turn crimson But no one will listen When you hear the cries The thunder in the skies The dead have gone missing They were on a mission Straight to extinction Race against affliction
It’s a dead giveaway You’re going to die today
Sorrows sorrows prayers The state of affairs Endless nightmares Electric chairs Tell me someone cares
You need to leave but you’re not free to go The cop combo
Never get on the bad side of a good girl You will see her form Like hail in storm She ain’t lukewarm
I need to focus on the gains And not the mishaps Sometimes I think I’ve gone insane But no one gives a crap
He’s like driving on a floating road And I ain’t going slow
He’s like riding in a truck without breaks That’s the speed it takes
Walking in the underground I’m a ghost and he is the crowd
“Loose lips Sink ships”
It’s unfortunate The people who need help Can’t be helped
It’s always the same color crayon The same con The Devil’s spawn Hanging on my lawn So they get a yawn Wish they’d move on Back to Babylon Where they’re coming from Fucking hate them all
I wish I had no father Why even bother Poison like still water I wish I had more honor
Why does the sun Travel in a straight line Like your lines From pen to mind
He hits on his own reflection He’s gaslighting every direction He says he loves with affection He’s in love with his own perfection
Some need more than one chance To change the circumstance Don’t want the last dance
Michael Leavitt deserves to crawl into a hole he can’t get out of As below, so above
I’m just barely existing Time is ticking Grave persisting Death resisting
I don’t want realistic Fuck sadistic I’m humanistic Ain’t optimistic
I must be dead inside Soul paralyzed Know not to cry
She’s not me Still do I slide into her clothes Like midnight over moon I am all And I am none
I start the trends I rarely follow I live in pretense Hard pills to swallow
Til death do us part We ain’t got the heart Black and full of rot We’re both distraught No grave for plot
I don’t get the physics Or why he never visits Says it ain’t my business Why he acts suspicious
Why are you under my teeth? Beneath my seams? Between my dreams? Light like moonbeams?
Time moves slower in the cold His heart is indigo Take me where blue blood will flow His undertow The place I grow
He steals the sun and turns it into limelight His pen will give me frostbite
Collecting comments Crashing comets Trashy content Make me vomit
Demons look like humans Cheaters look like keepers Users look like friends Children look like men Do not attempt To understand
I haven’t been able to sleep and my entire FYP is the lost submarine
I actually hope and pray they are found. It would be nothing short of a miracle. However, they sent two subs down (unmanned presumably) that got crushed at 6000 ish meters
I had a comment get over 1600 likes – and got annoyed with all the notifications – so deleted it
I commented a teenager shouldn’t be on board, many said he was 19
I replied NINETEEN – TEEN
And still – they denied
Had to block – got annoyed
I wish we could mute comment notifications but naw
So delete – it just wouldn’t stop getting likes or comments
I’m an introvert I suppose
Sidenote
Apparently the CEO was in a lot of trouble and he was a good gaslighter and salesman to convince those people to die with him – I don’t think a teenager (yes nineteen is still a teen) should be allowed on an experimental submarine dive 12,500 feet below the sea. It doesn’t matter what fancy title you give them.
That CEO stated over and over that sub was entirely safe, “if this goes… “safe”, if that goes… “safe” but sign this waiver
Look, I signed a waiver getting that motherfucking vaccine and I will never trust another doctor or nurse again – I was asking all the right questions but I was gaslit, gullible, and lied to
And even tho the first vaccine fucked me up, I crawled further in the hole, just like our dear John Jones…
It nearly killed me and I’m at risk for Adult Sudden Death syndrome
I cannot stress this enough, adrenaline spikes to the heart is a no-go
I workout but not to the extreme
I fucking ran through the Dollar 25 tree with 2 gallons of spring water and it was a no no and that was recently
I was in my car going, “it’s okay we’re safe now, I won’t do that again”
So I can run and jog but not with added weights
It’s ridiculous but if you knew how far I’ve crawled – to get better, you might be a tiny bit proud
I’m feeling stronger but can’t do adrenaline spikes at all…
And I’m only 108 pounds
I also have to be careful with extreme temperatures, the hot and cold
I’m like Goldie Locks, need everything just right…
I’m not out of the dark yet and may never be…
The light is so much more powerful than the dark
Also, they stated you wouldn’t be able to hear banging that deep down – something about sound not traveling through the cold
I find that interesting
Isn’t space cold?
I hope God can hear my screams…
I do feel bad about them being stuck at the bottom of the sea
Maybe they didn’t explode
Maybe they made up the banging to keep the search ongoing and the $$$$ flowing
A fast death seemed a little less cruel than suffocating in the dark and cold in a sealed up tuna can
Where you can’t even stand…
Or hyperventilate
With only a sandwich and bottle of water
The one window was plexiglass
A freaking fish tank
You couldn’t pay me a million to get bolted in that tin
I need to get back to my FYP and I feel less guilty about buying clothes now – that’s a much better decision than sinking to the bottom of the sea to explore a graveyard
But I was fucking stupid for getting that 2nd vaccine
I’m learning to forgive myself for a lot of things
I have been dying a slow and painful death
And there are people on my black list
Lucky buying clothes is all I’m planning to do…
LUCKY
Cuz the daydreams are filled with revenge tenfold
I promise when I’m feeling better than dead I will post some of my cute clothing
Mostly dressing comfy for now…
And appreciative I have a floor to sleep on
My sister died of Covid age 45
I don’t want to die…
But everything is actively trying to kill me
The water, the food, the air, it’s all been poisoned
Why does light travel in a straight line? Why does something round move straight? I haz questions.
Free speech below be warned
The way John Jones died keeps me awake at night.
Maybe get some land in Utah. Do a low crawl. Whip out the hacksaw. Call me an outlaw.
I’m still breaking out in hives. I did a 30 day raw ginger detox and hit it TOO hard. I’m not a sweater but first shot broke out in sweats. Kept going tho.
Nearly fell asleep last night until the consequences of John’s action really settled in.
Must be the worst way to go.
He didn’t even wanna be there. Just thought he could show off a little. He was wanting to eat some Turkey. Or maybe dressing.
I’m not gonna be able to rest until somebody pulls him out of that hole.
Recovery mission.
Use a robot, I don’t care!
Get him out of there!
Cuz I don’t learn my lessons well either.
2nd week felt nauseous after every shot and by the third, hives.
Guess I’m preparing myself for the end
I really really don’t want a traumatic ending
My whole life has been a tragedy
So Cracker Barrel has a cancer warning on their website that eating their food will expose you to bad stuff
And when you click on more info, it won’t tell you exactly which foods
This is what happens when other countries rule us and the Great Race war theory is reality
Check the fucking CENSUS
Reports say certain Chinese Americans (how they prefer) identify as “the new white”. They even get common names like John or Michael.
Certain Mexicans also identify as “the new white”
And BLM is up 230%
I don’t know where I’m going, but I can’t stay here
Land is cheap near Yellow Stone
Pros: cheap
Cons: near volcano
People have been boiled alive at the acidic hot springs
They are my favorite natural wonder and the one’s I fear the most
Always wanted to visit but have this feeling it would pop
Many scientists and people have died from volcanic eruptions randomly
I would have been driven mad living with demons inside a cave
Who constantly gaslight
I don’t know if I believe in reincarnation but sometimes I feel like I’m still learning a lesson from 6000 years ago
China needs to take a chill pill
Most of us are fairly fed up
Eating raw salad today
Maybe just need to stick to a raw diet forevermore
Fucking sick of dying a slow tormentious!?! death
You ever be drifting off to sleep until something bad makes your eyelids pop wide?
For me, last night, it was JJ.
I need an old typewriter
I probably could just use pen and paper again
Ink sucks these days
I hate AI
I’m always writing from my phone
One little tap at a time
Constantly correcting the algorithm
It likes to not space
It likes to change words on me
I’m basically sick of the narcissism which is a plague
But any article you read will state, “narcissism is rare”
Believe none of what you read and less of what you see
He was suppose to take the one that had claw marks all above
But he probably was dared or gaslit to go in the wrong one
It was 9pm at night
He should have been in bed
His wife re-married 3 years later
I ain’t been married once
Some people have it too easy
China has the most ridiculous dictator’s who are nihilistic and their own policies have made it hard for them to recover as a whole due to the “one child law” and I hope they fall but they are stealing white man’s identity with malicious intent and purpose and American names…
I’m allowed to be angy….
I’m sick of being micromanaged
And poisoned
Got some more rhyme incoming but freestyled this as soon as I opened my eyes
Couldn’t even brush my teeth first – already rhyming
Brain still foggy
When I was 16, I would break out in hives every night because of the stressors
For several months, I had to take Benadryl at bedtime
I was even put in a rehab against my will for a month solid, wasn’t able to communicate with boys, had to do stupid meetings
Escaped the insane asylum so many times they had to re-write the rules every time
Sometimes locked myself in my room and refused to come out, using my body and feet against the walls to stop them from breaking in
Demanded air time (fresh air) cuz I was on suicide watch most of the time, not allowed to go outside, not allowed to shave my legs
Broke out in hives every fucking night there
Left the leader tho…
Eventually I was released
My parents were the only ones to not show for the final week to do therapy
It was clear who the fucking problem was and why I was breaking out in hives
I wasn’t supposed to be there
The same John wasn’t supposed to be in that hole
“There are things that happened down there that will never be disclosed”
Yeah like what though?
I can still remember the name of the boy I sat next to in 2nd grade
We made up a game
We’d draw little maps of roads and the other would hold the pencil while the other held the paper to “drive”
We did this quietly and after assignments were done
And every time the teacher re-arranged where students sat, we were allowed to still sit next to one another
Cuz we both got angry and probably refused to do assignments lol
I went skating a lot back then
And even at 16, had rollerblades and would go street blading for hours
I bought me a brand new pair of skates at Christmas, but still haven’t been 😦
So I really hope I change that soon
I know I have a valid excuse “dying” but damn
One day we won’t be able to do the things we want, even if we wanted
I don’t want that day to sneak up on me
It’s like I’m still stuck in a hole I can’t crawl out
And no one’s coming to save me
We have to save ourselves
But God does listen
And prayers do come true
Sometimes
Within reason
Or it’s just l-u-c-k (labor under controlled knowledge)
But I still believe in God
And I don’t know how I survived my teenage years
The quarries, the 50 foot bridge jumps, the standing in front of trains
Got some cute pants that quickly sold out! Love them!!!!! Small is almost too big where XS is almost too tight but I have been getting lots of shorts in xs!
They stopped making B cup bras. So bralettes I guess forevermore
“Made in China” and should stay there Like your feelings, I just don’t care
Kayaking all by your lonesome? Not cuz you’re wholesome?
Those who play by the rules are the mark I’ve got out my chalk Refuse to talk Right hand my glock Born out of wedlock Married to my walk
He thinks she should be paroled Once she is dead
I’ve spent all my life In captivity
Love will never blossom here again Tie the knots And tie the endless twigs But love – It won’t blossom here
Sleep in a cloud of prayer Like running into a server farm Have no idea if I have come to harm? Like sleeping on a prayer With halo in my hair I’m so dumb I will sound the alarm
So I’m just baggage Armed with a camera Can do some damage It’s an advantage
Centenarian Want to live to then
He said it’s safer In the lion’s den Like hate is my neighbor But he ain’t friend
Father, There’s almost nothing left My sister is dead I’m bereft Sick in the head Near out of breath Got money in the bulkhead
Compartments upon compartments Secret dirty pockets
He’s a no outlet I’m driving full speed Like he’s a preacher for me to confess But he’s a no outlet
Am I walking to the gate of resentment Where there’s no contentment I am so relentless It’s a consensus
Weighed in at 108 pounds today despite eating $100 dollars worth of Cracker Barrel over the last 3 days.
My new small clothing is already too big, and the extra small are loose. Extra extra small exists but I’m probably too fat for it.
108 pounds because “my labs are fine” despite cancer eating me alive
Medical malpractice is common
I don’t want anywhere near a hospital when dying
And like Bob, I would call 9/11 and hang up.
I recently did that, after giving my 201? (location) and she had the audacity to ask me the location.
I responded, “I just fucking told you” and click.
Call disconnected
I did not answer the return
And spoke with the cop when he arrived who informed me that “all of Daytona is bad. Move.”
My lease is up in April
I really don’t want to renew
I also don’t know where to move?
I need land (1-5 acres and a down payment of like a lot)
Can you start dropping coordinates
Of potential places
Where there aren’t many faces
I’m stuck in stasis
Skipping over bases
We’re tied just like laces
Let the sign read faceless
Erasing traces
Following the void
God is gracious
But my neighbors are so racist
I ain’t complacent
Need new spaces
(Help pretty please)
I hope TikTok gets banned
I made my account private and uninstalled the communistic spy app cuz I’m in trouble again for sharing LGBT fashion and stating I was boycotting it
My hate extends all the way to “Made in China”
Stamp it
Engrave it
I fucking hate it
The Great Wall of deceit
WordPress too
The phone is dead come September
Don’t want a new
Not dropping $500+ every two years to be punished on social media
Literally ready to just disappear
By Uncle Sam
My parents are still alive but I don’t know their phone or address
Like a kid, I feel helpless
Acting out of will
Guess I’m growing feckless
Avoiding road of reckless
And feeling so desperate
Just need a quiet place to rest
Maybe God’s chest?
I love him the best
God 1st
Fuck AI
Stop training the AI
I will fuck him up
The Chinese will use AI to commit crime as they are attempting to avoid karma
I do not comply
With any change happening
You fucking asshole
You voted for Biden eh
And have the audacity to say “I can’t trust you”
Oh do-do
I can’t be in the same room as a man
Hardly any women
99.9% of the population denounced God
Stop gaslighting you soulless pricks
“I’m not having children”
Yeah cuz you are bad witch
Nihilist
You all went grey in your 30s
Cuz you removed yer sex organs
For plastic
To look like you’re about to have a baby
But you can’t
And are not
And I’m still bleeding
My life was stolen from me
God feels pain
The dog is driving me insane
I know who is to blame
There’s only one name on my blacklist
*insert shit that could hurt me in the future*
So which path do I take?
Revenge or forgiveness?
It ain’t none of your business
Sincerely as your witness
Kisses sealed with suspicious
Pepper sprayed cuz I’m vicious
What if all these freckles on my body are shadow burns from other stars we can’t actually see cuz our own Sun
Like how the shadow of people were burned into the wall when they were nuked
Like an xray
A mirror reflecting the cosmos
If we could really leave earth, we would
Man killed the dinosaurs
6th mass extinction
You’re gonna burn in hell
For all eternity
Reincarnation is another word for cloning
*sigh* I spend so much time fixing the algorithm
And don’t get paid for it
I no longer answer surveys or give my opinions
Unless you gonna $$$$ me
I’m not racist, I just don’t like you
Be someone worth liking
You’re a walking HollyWood soundbar
Propaganda is all you spew
Cox and his cocks, I mean clocks
Science is nihilism
I wish the dog was dead
I want my life back
Sorry not sorry
People changed him
I’m a passive nihilist in recovery
God save me
But the darkened ones in Generica
The majority
I don’t want to save
Would step back from my own family in flames
Have done and did
Regrets? Oh yeee
Going dark for 6 months or so
There are demons running this world
Satan’s domain
I’ve overstayed my welcome
Losing faith but seldom
Sharpening it like weapon
Cuz devil is depression
As above so below
You ever worry about just being ones and zeros
Like Pinocchio hoping for a soul
Like jumping in a hole
I ran out of stories of cave dying
And have moved onto “crocodile’s eating humans”
I’ve done some seriously dangerous shit as a teen
Nothing like jumping off a ship into shark infested waters at night
This one guy wanted to visit the nudest colony in Death Valley
By miracle he was rescued
But opted a second time to go again
HE DIED
There is a pattern with the seconds
Like how I got the second shot
I’m at risk for Adult Sudden Death syndrome
My immune system was compromised
I’m alive by sheer will and the grace of God
If I knew I only had X amount of time remaining
I’d probably exact my revenge
It’s extremely hard walking a path of holy
In the devil’s land
What dimension are we in again?
It’s a proven fact that Gen Y and Z are dumber than previous generations
I can’t relate to anyone but Gen X and him and him
Him and Him – new book name
I identify as a GIRL
Men cannot have babies
Everybody is a fucking pedo
Fuck LGBT
Fuck TikTok
Fuck “Made in China”
The cops: indecent exposure
Me: the clothes make me burn
Cotton or au gratin?
Apparently most cheese isn’t cheese
Why does God spare some and not others?
Potential?
Not an NPG?
Anything that can happen does and will
Possibility?
Both wave and particle
Timeline jumping
I was going at least 80 miles an hour when I moved into the middle-lane at the exact moment thousands of hands of lightning struck my Jeep, all 4 windows down, arm out
“Fuck” I cried as I whipped my arm in and looked through my rearview and side mirrors taking my foot off the pedal
The sound deafening
Lightning touched my arm
The whole Jeep was surrounded by arms of lightning
He wants to know if you would lose your head for Christ?
He states, we have to go after the octopus head – not just the tentacles
He also played a role in “the stoning of” (sara?)
Basically a husband was cheating and got his wife murdered by burying her alive – up to her neck – and having her children throw the first stones at her head
This practice is still legal
He didn’t want to pay child support or something
Accused her of a death penalty – something he was doing
Anyhoo
I can still like him as an actor and person
I mean he played Christ
Kinda hard to probably take off that role
Jesus imprinted in him and me
But read the good book full of propaganda and lies?
Uhm no
It’s Satanic
I collect Bibles tho
Some falling apart
Some extremely tiny with a lock
You ever try selling a Bible during end times?
I can’t seem to part with them?
Via donation, sale, or trash
Or is is sell?
I’m selling something
I have a sale
Hmmm it’s nearly 4 am
I’m glad it wasn’t just a role for Jim
“Fighting with all their hearts but don’t have a voice”
I did decide to “repurpose” the soil and mix it up and start feeding it to the plants that were surviving
It was risky I know
But the earthquake shook something
That wasn’t there yesterday
In fact, I left the window open yesterday during the rainstorm briefly – and they all had their first rain bath!!!!!
It was pretty exiting
Now they’ve had a rain bath (first) and drink daily spring water (my own supply)
It could be a mystery seed finding its way to the surface?
I should move him into his own pot?
Why does it scare me?
The green stuff growing was potentially edible – but now – I dunno if this pot still is?
More unidentified stuff in my pots
That’s probably the fear – I thought this would be a fun experiment by the library
I’m slightly shaking
Maybe because my last day of weed – but I was fine until I saw that… unidentified plant and a single bloom (and not green)
But if it turns out to be one of the mystery plants I killed, then yah!!! ?
The forget me nots are getting big!
Should they be repot?
And these potential edible thangs?
Check out the glass of roots
Healthy roots?
Healthy roots or not? Wish my soul would rot? Is this your thought?
I have a stone from Colorado that I collected – in this glass jar – and the plant really enjoyed having the rock and the clear glass to grow – but I admit – it’s more of a challenge
Even the roots scare me
I dunno what’s wrong with me?
I fear the unknown. I also jump into puddles not knowing how deep? Had no idea one should not..
We drank from the hose because we were locked out of the house
I’d get in trouble if I told you what I wanted to do to the Boomer folks
So poems incoming soon…
But wtf is growing?
And just for reference – this is this mystery sheet
Nothing is in the big pots yet – was wondering if I could relocate the glass herbs – they are the only ones I never moved – added the rock from Colorado – and then the roots took hold. Now I’m afraid to plant them in a dark pot with soil – and shock them.
I also don’t want them to get root rot and die
But for now – they did experience a wonderful full moon recently – and last night a rain shower.
Would love to put tags on my plants: “Hi. I’m 3 years old”
“Hi. I’m 15 years old”
That way, upon my untimely passing, they don’t wind up at the dump
They are loved, even tho I fear whatever the fuck they are?
Is that a sunflower? Should he get his own space?
I’m afraid to touch it?
Or breathe around it?
Is it safe?
It grew overnight?
A night bloom?
*sigh*
My thumb isn’t green – it’s mysterious
He’s never had a homemade biscuit. I don’t know what a sunflower looks like growing.
Or basil? Chamomile?
I ate chives growing unwashed in the yard
My mom: “why are you eating that”
Me: “it smells like onion, can I not eat it”
Mom: “yes but you need to bring it in and wash it”
Also me: *drank syrup from some sort of flower*
Anyhoo
Growing thangs
Don’t know what
Could be poisonous?
Wanna come over for dinner?
P.S. when I do upgrade my phone, if TikTok isn’t banned, I will show you my cute new outfits. I’m thin as fuck tho. Like “Thinner”. Keep eating. Won’t gain a pound.
Last day of sungrown legal weed.
QUITTING
And been off the super potent vape pen for 2 or 3 weeks now
Lungs about to be freeeeee
It is fucking harddddddd boi
Takes minimum of 4 months to recover from CUD
4/19 was the last day I had access to the medicinal shop
The whole fentanyl laced drugs is a real issue where I live
Not just the city, but my backyard
Someone got busted with $39k in their car
Along with laced drugs
It was all over the cops official social media accounts
I do not use or consume illegal drugs
I’m quitting state issued as well…
Sleeping in the lion’s den with whatever is growing
And honestly, it ain’t gonna keep the lion’s satisfied
I am blocking folks on tiktok for all kinda of reasons
I only use my main account – so views will stay low – I keep the algo confused, “gotta keep em guessing” – I stay on the go
Anyhoo
I told myself I’d stop scrolling
Only use it to post
*boring*
And many of my good videos don’t make it through – cuz folks block me and then report me for harassment – for lip syncing a Nirvana song “I think I’m dumb” cuz he commented my IQ could improve
I got in trouble for his insult
I was videotaping me lip syncing in my apartment – and he didn’t want y’all to see it
I still think I won?
Fuck so off topic now
The blocking that I do is different
(But how does one get a post removed for lip syncing a fucking song?) (I didn’t even respond) (no text) lol
He all butt hurt
GOOD
Stop phishing for info
My TBI fractal brain is none ya bizz
I know everything and not anything all at once
*God mode off*
*Human mode on*
Nope, not even human yet
Fallen Angel
“Born this way”
Fight me
I haz wings
Under his bed
He stole em
He didn’t really steal them
He collected them from the rubble
Not thinking maybe someone would come
To get the thing broken
He took what was mine and didn’t consider it belonged to another thing
I fucking fell
My first instinct was to find cover
They were my wings but God dismantled them in the fall
Or I dunno, the blazing atmosphere I was searing through
They were left behind
I was probably in shock
It’s an actual medical condition
Not a mindset
“Survival mode”
And there is water in the desert eventually
Dessert twice please (before meal and after dinner like an hour or 3) (not immediately)
(I should not eat after nine but gremlin, need the meal at midnight)
(Even if I eat dinner at 9, I’m like wtf are you growling like we haven’t ate since 5 am)
I already have insomnia, it’s nearly impossible to get through a 5 hour span
So I’ll always be sneaking in the kitchen for a bite
If he loves me, he’ll surprise me with treats awaiting
(And then he gets woken up in different ways yah hear)
I ain’t getting near that thing if he goes putting it in other things
Men especially
Fuck you
Oh who and what things I iz blocking on the TikTok
Someone just had her daddy come help her move a couch
Someone posted a tiktok of a 911 call – with a man dying and taking dying breaths
Another user commented it “turned him on”
Also Chicago was overrun by darkness
And the local cop here told me I need to move – “out of Daytona”, “all of Daytona is bad” “I hate to tell you to move” “I hate to lose someone level headed like you”
Well, I’m more reckless than anything – but absolutely still serve my country – I ain’t running away – I practice running a lot though – on my trampoline
Gotta make sure I can wind the Devil
They gonna try and shoot you from the back
Zig zag but with skates?
I don’t miss my shot tho
The Army trained me to hit moving targets 500m back
I’m efficient up to 350m but definitely passed all my skill sets
I ain’t gonna have a skill issue
I was only 4 rounds from expert first time on the 9mil
The hubby got a lot of work to do
“I gotta girl / you want to meet her? / her name is 9mm”
And since I’m still not washing my face per official guidelines, I’m dry as fuck
My bathwater smells like chlorine
My nails aren’t painted, I need a haircut
Tiny babe “you ain’t got any either” 😐
I’m not ready for a husband yet but am working hard with self and God to get things right
And the Devil wanna take away my smile
But the neighbors are being somewhat nicer to me now that I’m dressing in clothes that mostly fit (extra small is big and I’m not quite xxs and trying to actually put on weight) but was wearing medium and large while extra small
(I’m fighting a cancer inside me but my labs are fine)
MY LABS ARE FINE
Healthcare equals medical malpractice but we sign forms so they can hurt you with malicious intent and purpose
I’m looking to upgrade my very old but loved rebounder
Only because it squeaks and someone on TikTok complained
So I stopped sharing
And am secretly rooting for a ban hoping for a revolution
My TV is sold
No more PS4
My devices are outdated after 2 1/2 years
iPhone 12 would only be good another 2 to 3 years
News has come out that 12 and 13 may be obsolete with the new 15
I’m not paying them prices
I don’t eat with my phone
Or shit
The voicemail is probably full with malicious intent and purpose
I can post from the library but they would steal my login and data
Probably give them access to my browsing history from the last ten years
It is off
The Devil tried to murder me
I’m still here
I got some sort of superpower and you don’t know what that does to a person
There are two ways I could go
But you know me, always taking the off path
Sometimes we find things more valuable than gold, sometimes we find John Jones
He ain’t resting in peace
“I want out”
Final wish
So these Boomers sealed him in
His wife worried he was sealed in alive
“There are things that happened down there that will never be disclosed”
The TikTok is still heating up and Boomers don’t like being called Boomers but they make up most of the HOUSE of CONGRESS
Therefore, I will not comply about referring to them as “politicians”.
One replied that they were enjoying their retirement and I told them congratulations, enjoy. All the Boomers will be gone by the 60s.
He probably never looked at it like that (forest for trees) and the comment remains unliked
They say any traffic is good traffic but I did block someone commenting multiple times
I’m very open, exposed, and raw delivering such heavy content such as “I lost half my retirement but it wasn’t because I was stupid, all Gen X did – so I feel slightly worse.”
I’m backing it up with real evidence tho (just not personal statements tho some comments phish for it)
Boomers won’t admit to any wrong doing, ever (prove me wrong).
Gen Y & Z should back X up in the fight to remove the Boomers from HOUSE
PoeEternal 