fool me twice

i let paypal do me dirty again

i was having too much fun shopping (in small increments & amounts) on TikTok

and funny how the same day congress wants to ban TikTok

PayPal is restricting my account – without any real reason attached to their claim – and have decided to hold my account hostage – until i provide them more DATA that they will sale to the enemy – that i do not want to do

therefore, i cannot use paypal for why i signed up (a second time)

(the first time they outed my anonymous donors who contributed to a pool i created – based on FAQ provided by PayPal – which they apparently can update and change at will – rules for me but not thee – and there is more to this point i’m sorry) – but not only did they expose who the anon donors were – they eventually made them priority in my contact list – who had never sent me a dime where i was meant to be aware – but low and behold – something i don’t think the therapist could understand – and even if they should – there was so much shame attached to my sense of self – that the bridge was nearing closer everyday!?!

so i deleted my obsession

i mean account

but then for stupid “i wanna shop in private and protect my data reasons” – i opted to open a new account

start again

this time not using my account to receive – only send and shop

but now PayPay is cockblocking me again

and they outed my private new email – that i will need to delete

and i had to call my bank to let them know that i need to change my identity in order to break up with paypal

because they keep doing updates and selling my data by turning on those little boxes they add in

im getting scam emails – clever tricky ones trying to get me to put my money in a shoebox and tape it up and give it to the blacked out car with the CIA/FBI agents (please note that if anyone wants me to put any amount of money in a shoebox – even $5 – i will be calling my therapist and the cops immediately and letting them know i have potentially crossed the threshold breaking point)

m’kay

anyhoo – the scam emails continue even tho i ain’t giving anyone my info to send/receive

but PayPal is

and now for no other reason than “shopping on TikTok” they have decided to hold my account hostage until i provide them more personal forms of data

and so the contract should be null and void

cuz i can’t use it how i signed up for – and i ain’t providing shit

they won’t remove my card – so the card is destroyed – bank informed – text and emails reported as spam and phishing – and a Better Business Bureau report pending to be done

i don’t owe paypal a penny

nor is anything pending

other than my random penalty “ma’am you were shopping with the enemy”

but don’t they know i got friends in China?

it’s cheaper and better buying direct from the source

fuck a third party

but now i gotta move to break up with paypal

i had to change my bank info

im gonna have to change my phone number…

i swear it’s not a joke

there’s been no fraudulent activity

no resolutions filed

no issues with bank or login

just suddenly today “tiktok may get banned” “provide data or no soup for you”

and so i said no

delete my account

but they won’t

so i gotta change my identity

i swear to fuck

genX out


(i told paypal thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love shopping)

that i will be outside more thanks to them

you should delete your account now – while you still can


i couldn’t even delete my profile photo after i canceled all my subs

when i called support back – the way she paused at the name change – and said “it’s kinda inappropriate” and i said whaaaaaa the “FU” and she said “yeah” and i responded “well the AI let me do it”

“and i didn’t need to provide anything”

so they will likely fix that glitch yee-haw

i am the anomaly in the matrix and is god is here!!!!!! he/she is everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!


paypal is holding my data hostage and unless i bow down to thee i am not allowed to shop – only receive

well im done receiving!!!!!!


im done giving!!!!!!!


and i cant spend my own money for 7-10 business days 2 weeks cuz the banker failed to tell me my new card wouldn’t arrive until then

so shopping withdrawals thanx to our good PAL

looking at a place to rent tomorrow

they aint getting my new number or address

gotta flee the country to escape ELON MUSK!?!?

who da fuk own PayPal now

he thinks hell is gonna be a party where all his friends are

they will he in hell – but he wont have access to them

lol


could you let God know i don’t really think it should be legal – what they are doing and my mistakes are so hard learned if any

the bank listening: “paypal won’t let me break up with them”

“this is toxic”

“i gotta move”

“change my number”

straightjacket or pier?


limited to shop cuz they want more data to sell to the enemy but my name change is inappropriate

*laughs*


hope Walmart still takes a check… nearly out of water

and thank god i never attached anything other than my card – that card is now destroyed – and my address and phone number are changing

maybe i don’t need to leave the country yet


giving away more items: donated books and bakingware to the library and neighbors


i had planned to do some mental health shopping this weekend

yah no


Amazon is sharing your address Wishlist with the buyer

I went in to make changes to my Amazon Wishlist and they have new features – already selected for you – about disclosing your address to the buyer

“The seller may disclose your address to the buyer”

Wait. What. 👀

I have a brain injury and maybe I’m misinterpreting what that says!?!

I’ve since unchecked the box – and I’ve no one spoiling me – but I very much intend to spoil me – as these are items I want/need.

That’s a dangerous new feature Amazon has added

I wasn’t even aware until I was acting emo and making privacy changes

Anyhoo…

If you have children using it or anyone under the age of 18 and they have an Amazon wishlist account and people spoiling them, then they may be getting access to your home address now.

I care about the unsuspecting adults too (like self) and people with mental illness who may try and obtain an address for harm

I don’t understand how it’s legal for a business to do something like this, it’s fucking dangerous

They are using grams as weight now cuz America belongs to the immigrants and their children born here naturalized

The immigrants get to vote before our children legally turn 18 to do so

LMAO

I wish I had known all this before I started College is a scam.

Quietly LOUDLY quitting society

Information is knowledge so please let folks know that their lives are in danger now – unless they want complete strangers with their shipping address!?!?

I don’t like giving out my phone number or email and now we’re just giving folks our home address huh.

Why not just give the buyer your address and fuck Amazon all together?

Why use a third party at all? Which was the entire fucking point I thought.

Amazon is dead

There’s hardly a place worth shopping

I like thrift stores and antique furniture shops

I will find the most ugly shop in Florida you can find.

Get on my knees and hunt

Getting offline forever soon…

I don’t understand the point


I didn’t like the milk 😑

The label is red

States it is “sold as animal feed” (I’m an animal m’kay but)

There is no date anywhere

It smelled of rot

I did a sniff and taste taste

The dog sniffed and passed

Didn’t even get a taste…

It’s opened

I know they won’t take it back

The yuppies

I mean Peggy’s Discount stole $8 from me

“Free will”

I could have said no 😑

I had some dry milk on the shelf FOR THE SAME PRICE

And just made me a fresh batch for my coffee

And about to toss some marmalade on this pumpkin bread full of seeds and nuts and spices

And enjoy my coffee with powered milk

And the yuppies can BURN IN HELL

You sold one of God’s angels some rotten fucking milk

I don’t even know how many years an eternity is but it ain’t enough!!!!!

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

I do recommend that big bag of great value dry powdered milk for eight dollars and never ever ever fucking raw milk without a goddamn date on it that’s labeled animal feed and why are they selling it to humans you fucking assholes

This is exactly why John Jones got stuck in a fucking hole and I’m allowed to be pissed off about it because that eight dollars could’ve gone towards some shit at Dolls Kill that I want

I’m nearly fucking vegan after all this shit

“You could of said no”

They stole $8 from me 😑

And I don’t know what to do with the milk because my dog doesn’t even want to drink it so if I put it outside it might contaminate the water

Tempted

TEMPTED TO ACCIDENTALLY SPILL IT ALL OVER THEIR DOOR

Helps. I’m in hell. 😑

If I had a husband I wouldn’t be buying animal feed 😑

IT WAS RIGHT THERE ON THE LABEL

WTF IS WRONG WITH ME

How long had it been sitting on their shelf in the fridge?

HOW LONG?????????

There’s no date anywhere!!!!

How many red flags does a person need???????

HARD LESSONS LEARNED IN HELL

It was a lesson though

777 numbers from the heaven

The discount didn’t even cover the cost of the rotten milk 😑

There’s consequences to timeline jumping, you get brain injuries and become really fucking stupid 😑

I don’t even think I can use this milk as a photo shoot to pour on my body because it’s chunky even though the label says to “shake well”

For the record, I wasn’t studying every single label in the new shop which was a Health store

It was almost as if I was being chastised for looking at the prices or the labels and then they sold me some rotten milk and God knows how good the eggs are now because I’m fucking afraid of the eggs

RETURN THIS CARTOON

SOLD AS ANIMAL FEED

MOTHERFUCKING DAMN

That’s another $8 stolen 😑

Those motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!

AVOID AT EVERY COST 🖕

I didn’t even have this bad of an experience drinking goats milk in Kuwait and Iraq

My mama didn’t breast-feed me and I apparently like milk because I’m undernurtured and I’m trying to get rid of my milk addiction but they are poisoning everything including the soy beans

Some good news with the coffee…

This Doll model has a very tiny peach (this is not my peach)

I mean her peach is TINY

And I’ve been freaking out over losing over 18 pounds detoxing and my peach getting smaller even though I do work out, bike ride and walk and rebound and clean fucking house even though it doesn’t look like it

Babes with a small peach are worthy of affection and love too

And I’m not gonna show you the entire outfit because I got it 🎃

I got a Halloween bodysuit 🤪

This holiday slowing down the shipments but at least when they say they’re doing a mega sale they fucking mean it and they sell you really good quality stuff that is 1000 times better than Amazon or Walmart

Or Peggy’s Discount whom sale rotten food to despairing hungry humans 😑

My doc appointment is tomorrow

I can’t stop laughing about how incredibly stupid I was though, I mean I know I was hungry and gaslit

I know I have a brain injury

It was a new environment

But the red flags were there

I mean, they failed to even list the price of the nuts on the container or the shelf

Just like Michael Leavitt failed to put features on the map showing danger zones

“But he said he was an expert”

“But there was dust on the walls”

Like, I’m out $16+ bucks over gaslighting and not reading signs and ignoring red flags

I’m an animal, I will drink milk straight from the cow tit OK, I’ll be frank with you, but that shit was fucking ruined

Like, I would have a goat around for milk and cheese

There are certain species of animals that I have never eaten nor touched nor plan to digest

Goat is one

But their cheese and milk and fur – in the right conditionsI wouldn’t be opposed to

There was no cow milk in Iraq or Kuwait and the only milk we were offered was goats milk but the only way I would drink it was warm

Warm goats milk in my box cereal

My king needs to know the conditions in which I starve

I will bite the hand that feeds when the food is rotten and poisoned

THIS IS WHY EDGAR ALLAN POE DIED ON THE STREET

I am grateful for your support because people out here stealing from me left and right

“You didn’t have to buy the milk”

YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO LIE

How long has that lie been sitting on the shelf?

HOW LONG

I am nearly vegan and it isn’t because you have a heavy hand because you can’t have a heavy hand and also eat pizza from a fucking box and be part of the fucking problem

THEY ARE SELLING ROTTEN MILK 🥛

“Shake well”

I FUCKING PLAN TO

KEEP PISSING ON ME

JUDGMENT HOUR

I’m gonna expose you all

Narcissism is not rare

NARCISSISM IS A PLAGUE

Despite the fact that I had nearly $20 stolen from me (and I’m still out eggs and milk now by the way, that I can’t replace)

These goddamn demons make it so hard for me not to commit a criminal act

It’s better to blog than spray paint

I really want to be the best efficient hunter killer but I’ve got to learn how to control my emotions especially my anger when it arises

“Hunter killer”

UHM

I am efficiently trained by the United States Army to take down a human with one shot one kill and with my bayonet

You don’t think they just played with us in basic training do you? 😈

God: you wanna go to heaven?

Me: oh yeah for sho

God: you need special training that in which I cannot say and you cannot kill

Me: I’m up for the challenge 🤨

God: everything will be a lie

Me: I WANT OUT, LET ME OUT

Anyhoo

The Great Filter is narcissism

Every society has at least two great filters they need to overcome if they want to be a species that doesn’t go extinct

What are your Great Filters?

We must have individual filters as well

Don’t shop at Peggy’s Discount

I’ve got eggs and milk I don’t know what to do with

I have lessons I still need to learn

I’m trying to share even the smallest ones with you

I don’t like to lose money

I don’t like to gamble

I don’t like being gaslit

I don’t like being wasteful

I’m curious and like trying new things

“How quickly should I drink it”

“Uh within a few days. Bacteria”

Dear Gen Z

That isn’t bacteria, that is fucking rot

Your parents look like cruel dictators and I can tell you are confused about your sex and wanna please the parents but never do

You still sold me rotten milk…

The eggs don’t have a date either

Your boomer parents have a house and a business and I’m struggling to pay my rent

I’m condemning you all to hell

Take it up with God

He sent me here to see what you do through my eyes

He sent me here to judge

144,000

SAY MY NAME

FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

All that vegan packaging with natural flavor in it from a fucking lab

I AM WOKE BUT BLIND

“Free will” but “they will do anything”

He gonna divorce me

“You spent $18 on a tiny container of nuts and another $16 on animal food”. “What are we eating this month, honey?” 😑

(I did get the money back for the unopened nuts)

I should call though to say the milk was expired

But I want to cut the cord on that experience which was a fucking nightmare and I will spend many days potentially months or even a year trying to figure out why why why why when I was hungry I did this shit

I was completely out of my comfort zone at Peggy’s but because I’m nice and programmed to not say no or offend these demons, I made bad mistake 😑

Welp. How to ignore red flags 101. The fear was very real. God is in information. Listen to the source when he is calling. Those warnings are like little fingertips by God touching you

Tickle tickle

Don’t go that way

And you may get an additional warning or two, like Jacob in the whirlpool, he got three, that I counted

But he got out

And he went back in

A second time….

I have an irrational fear of dying but there is a pattern and Apophis is a nuclear bomb if we do not stop the NEW WORLD ORDER

(With those bad shrooms we’re not allowed to touch)

THE ELITES WERE PLAGUED WITH PARASITES

HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF

Black Walnut Wormwood detox if you wanna save your life or purge the Devil (is that what’s stopping you) 🧐

Tsk tsk

I can’t believe I bought some rotten fucking milk and eggs that literally says animal food on it but it’s being sold as human food on human shelving without a date and shouldn’t that be illegal?

Gaslighting should be a crime

I’m in fucking hell…

I am a witch though and I love spooky season

I make the best damn pot of stew

WITCHES STEW

Dash of burn in hell, dash of I don’t give a fuck… pinch of they’re all out of luck

You should see the writings on the wall where heavens gone mad

50 years ago they would have drilled a hole in my head

The way we treat depression is barbaric

We need to ban big pharma commercials

I don’t mind drinking milk past the expiration date or eating expired food but what the fuck

Wanna turn somebody vegan?

SELL THEM ROTTEN MILK

I curse in hell because it’s the only way I don’t commit a crime and they’re trying to take my freedom of speech in the real world

If you take my speech, I take my money and business

And I will never shop where I can’t spend cash which is what I’d like to start doing but find me a place I can shop that isn’t selling sex toys in front of children…

I don’t want to support businesses that are selling sex toys in front of children like Walmart and the mall

I don’t want to support a business that sells you rotten fucking produce that you can’t return

“Has it been opened”

*THROWS BOTTLE AND EGGS AT BRICK WALL*

*gets arrested*

*doesn’t get money back, gets fined instead*

(Stays home to avoid potential downfall)

You remember that Nirvana song, “I think I’m dumb”

SAME

Also, Kurt had gut issues which directly impacts mental health, he needed to debug 🤨

When you see one lie, you start seeing them all


The Garden of Eve

I can see through her fake
The black eyes it must take
Crawling like a snake
Right through Eden’s gate

© Delia Ross. 2021

She thinks she has it all, a husband and the love of my life…

One of them she can keep.

But she is in my territory.

I bite.

And am immune to narcissism.

Took sleeping with the devil.

Don’t come at me.

Or anywhere near the Garden of Eve – which is MY domain.

Free will

And just because I let the devils into my garden, doesn’t mean you’re allowed into my fucking garden….

Yay?

All’s fair in love and war.

How’s the hubby? Let me go stalk the profile

Poor lad, he needs attention

Flawless

I watched how souls he’d harvest
I saw where he fell hardest
I know how hope will tarnish
My love he’s flung the farthest

I fear the words he promised
I see he’s never honest
The truth the pain I harness
I thought though he was flawless

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Welp. Game over. Flawless victory.

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Inconsolable

Inconsolable
The way you throb for her
I move through life
Like I’ve heard not a word
You’ll get what you deserve
My love decomposable
Grasping at darkness
It’s exposable
The Great Unearthing
You’re disposable

© Delia Ross. 2021

I love him / I love him not (final answer)

Sorry not sorry?

I have some photo shoots I’m wanting to get done but also a lot of moving parts that need to come together. Scout locations. Costume fittings. Weather permitting. And that’s just a few… I don’t want to give away too much but I’ve never done anything like this before. Patience needs to be a virtue. I’m antsy.

The Covid pandemic is also holding up items in the mail that I need. But whatevs. Life. Gotta come up with plan B, C, D and revise/update when you can. I’m very spontaneous, what the fuck is patience? Go now! Welp. Not now now though because it feels like Antarctica outside currently. I nearly turned into a Snowman. WTF Florida get it together. My heat is on.


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Deceit

I was made of him
Part holy, part devil
The line is thin

I call him Grim
The only name I’m able
Lying is his den

The trust is slim
Like money under a table
Deceit is dim

© Delia Ross. 2020 @poeeternal

More poetry coming, so I’m about to blow up the WordPress feed over the next few days, with multiple postings in a day, so you may need to check my actual blog to not miss a feed (unless you have the notifications set on).

Also, if you sign up to my blog via email, that will keep you from missing any posts and you will never have any advertisements delivered because I’m running my blog advertisement free. Your support on my Patreon allows me to run my blog free from advertisements or spam. I thank you.

I once tried to maintain some sort of theme and posting order but my life is chaos currently.

I’m on edge. Welp.

Uhm the Grinch has arrived. Eggnog now please. (I don’t actually have any eggnog but it would be nice).

Thanks for checking out my work!


My LinkTree will take you places (mostly PG): https://linktr.ee/poeeternal


One And All

Look at all these sides
Subtractions into fractions
Division by walls

Like disappearing actions
We chop as if distractions
When truth is we need them one and all

Now counting our reactions
And fleeing into factions
We never considered the cost of these halls

Hearts squeezed into contractions
All while pleeing we need extractions
But never heeding to any calls

© Delia Ross. 2020 / @poeeternal

Thanks for checking out my work and for supporting independent artists! ❤


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Lead

He appeared as flower
He was lead
A vision of power
Though was dead

Atop a tower
Skin was shed
Still every hour
Lies were said

A sky or cower
Appearance is dread
Every soul he will devour
To sin he’s pled

I fear his evil scour
The darkness he fed
And underneath the devil’s bower
More evil was bred

© Delia Ross. 2020 / @poeeternal

Sometimes I wonder if I peered into Pandora’s box or if I am Pandora’s box. Uhm, my eyes bleed.

The fall from heaven is a terribly long one. Helps.

My cousin makes chocolate – she has a business she started up but it’s local to her only. But she sent me a box for Thanksgiving. It’s still hot as hell in Florida so she was worried about sending me chocolate afraid it would melt. She put a little cool pack in it and it arrived safely and I made a little video! I’m obsessed with chocolate, FYI. Hook me up with an IV please. 😜
They are delish! She has a gorgeous little set-up when she does local events. This is just a little chocolate selfie. Is that a thing? 😊
The names of the chocolates she made. I have a few left. Been trying to ration. May get more for XMAS now that we know they’ll arrive safely. I normally only get bills in the mail so I love receiving snail mail especially arts and food. 😍
My energy levels have been so low but I’m working in my studio today recording spoken word for my Patreon. About to hit up the Starbucks though because she also sent me a gift card and that coffee will be great today. Need that extra kick! 👊

Despite being tired, I wrote this poem this morning before I even brushed my teeth. Lazy has never been in my resume. Off to Starbucks – then recording in my studio!

I hope you all are having a fantastic holiday and getting some love out there!

Thanks for checking out my work and for supporting independent artists! 😊


My LinkTree will take you places: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal


It Is Written

What are your words if hollow and brittle?
What becomes of care when you show so little?
Then remove the lie from the middle-
Watch your honor fade and dwindle?

It’s time integrity took a stand
Purity is the only thing I’ve got in hand
I fell for your ruse, you’re just the better man?
But I can promise, it won’t happen again…

I’ve learned that love is simply a myth
And if you have a name, let’s call you Judas
Deception is every kiss
And betrayal, it’s written on your fist…

© Delia Ross. 2020

I don’t even know who I’m talking to anymore. Judas Iscariot? Where’s my kiss?


My LinkTree will take you places: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal


Mixed Signals

The Moon struggles to detach
The hope we lack
There’s no comeback
From mistakes we stack

This mass has gravity
You don’t know me
Forget what you see
I want to leave

Still you crave the perfect match
The plans you hatch
Always traveling the sinner track
Your heart is black

We’re dancing when we grieve
These tears we weave
Fate is tugging in-between
Our feet deceive

© Delia Ross. 2020

Original rhyming poetry by @PoeEternal

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Things In Order

What does the room feel like after I’ve left
Are there tears of joy you’ve finally wept?
Now’s the time to take your breath
Things in order how you kept?

Does the air turn to dust and cold
And hope is breath that turns to mold?
Is the darkness you worship wonder to behold
Do you ever notice you are growing old?

Do you take these poems and place them in the attic
Do you convince yourself I’m only erratic?
Do you tell them all I’m just a fanatic
Or do you admit to yourself you’re a narcissistic addict?

Does the blood in your calloused heart move faster
Is everything you destroy a beautiful disaster?
Is love the only thing in life you can never master
Have you ever given yourself an honest answer?

© Delia Ross. 2020


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Together Or Separate

It’s like his bouquet of poetry comes with thorns
And behind those sweet eyes there are horns
Though no matter the distance, love still forms
And together or separate, we create storms

© Delia Ross. 2020


I’m already seeing my view counter drop since he’s been blocked and I won’t be able to keep him blocked long because I need him in my life even if only as a ghost. But right now I need to punish him the way he punishes me. I hope one day we’ll be on speaking terms again and following each other again but he’s told too many lies to the other females in his life… He made his bed, now he must lie in it. And I had to block him because his lack of attention to me hurts so much. But blocking him also hurts. Everything hurts. But when he loves me he loves me so well. The ironic thing is, he has all those other girls but that still doesn’t stop him from checking on me like a lot… He needs me too. Lying won’t stop the need. And all those other girls won’t stop his need of me either. I guess our tether is fatedly attached, and his hold on me won’t release and my hold on him won’t release. I might die otherwise.


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The Downside (A song)

He’ll tell you about the downside
Like it’s paradise
He’ll kill you from the inside
Never thinking twice

Watch how he rolls the dice
His aim always precise
He never needs advice
Like his life is nice

Like he’s got it right…
Like he’s got it right…

He is cold as ice
Evil is his spice (x3) ((vocals on the low))

© Delia Ross. 2020

So, it is a song in my head. Therefore it is lyrics. I’m songwriting. Cuz this social distancing is even getting to my introversion. Now that the public beaches are closed to the public, I wanna go. What they gonna do? Arrest me? Pff go ahead. I need some kink in my life. Or excitement. I can just play stupid. It helps to be cute and innocent with a bit of devil. I’m like the perfect combo. They can’t resist my smile and silliness. 🙂 I’m seriously going to the beach tomorrow. Might be going to jail. I’m boreeeddddddd


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Fake

Something about her feels imposed,
Her hands are cold.
She’s a pyramid scheme,
Lined in fake silver and gold.
She’s a lying queen,
Her humanity decomposed.
There’s no honor in her spleen,
Her gates to truth are always closed.

© Delia Ross. 2020

My messy handwritings xxoo

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Slaves

Slaves to the 1 percent
Chained by the narcissists
One foot forward ’til the other quits
Mind says no but the heart persists

Damnation at the edge of both wrists
You think it is love but you never have kissed
He binds you so tight with the lies that he twists
You cannot stop now no matter the risk

The devil’s tongue is hard to resist
His hold on you tighter than both fists
No matter your move he’s ahead of the lists
As inch by inch you cease to exist

© Delia Ross. 2020


Speaking of slaves Neo, is anyone excited about THE MATRIX 4????? 😍

Is anyone addicted to writing? Cuz if I go X amount of time without doing it, things start getting all ugly inside…


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First Place

I’d rather claw out my eyes than look him in the face
And when it comes to heartache, I’d give him a taste
If he were the last man on Earth, I’d disappear without a trace
But when it comes to suffering, I’m still in first place

I’d cut out his tongue and replace his black mask
I’d point him to sorrow and long may he bask
Where demons grow hollow where angels come last
And forgiveness is something he never will ask

© Delia Ross. 2020


If you dig my writing, you can support my blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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Soft Landings

I walk over streets frozen with fear
I crawl through tunnels of bravery
I’d travel an entire light-year
To catch a moment of you
How tall are words bleeding from your mouth
I lick them and smear them over insecurities
I wrap them with silence
And tie a pretty bow over truth
If only lies had butterfly wings
And soft landings
Were they short-lived
And weightless
Or sat bundled in a cocoon
Per chance they were released in the night
And lit up like fireflies
Could we catch them easily?

© Delia Ross. 2020


If you dig my writing, you can support this blog by pledging to my Patreon campaign: https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/

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If only lies had butterfly wings
And soft landings…

Rage

Cold in every manner
Lost faith in ones who matter
Still praying every hour
Too many tongues that spit and chatter

Her words hit like a bomb
I was no longer calm
There was blood on my palm
And I knew where the rage was coming from

Pray that every tear turns to a curse
Hide the devil here inside this verse
If he has a fear I’ll find what works
Thought he was a monster but he’s worse

© Delia Ross. 2020

If you dig my writing, you can support my blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/

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Curtains

Pen or ache
Pill or fate
Somehow the difference
Is still the same

We change our curtains
But never the roads
We tame our methods
Where love is never disclosed

We dust our cages
After conflict arose
We spin in circles
While blaming our foes

© Delia Ross. 2020

If you dig my writing, you can support my blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/

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Crucifixion

If given chance, I’d be the one to put the spear into her side
Make her feel the weight of everyone she crucified
Put poison from the sponge onto her tongue because she lied
Never trust someone who has a devil as her guide

© Delia Ross. 2019



I’d order the crucifixion myself
I’d stand overwatch
I’d insert the spear myself
There are so many reasons to not like her
But I only need one…

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Ash

Whatever’s burning is ash
Smoldering versions of failure
Suits wearing a different behavior
But they all smell of traitor

Take a heart and stir it up
It never really mattered much
The bigger the fish, the bigger the bite
The brighter the truth, the lesser the sight

Whatever’s burning is trash
Lying, denying, the awful mistakes
The crying, the trying, the hope that it takes
Love was caught speeding, so I turned on the brakes

Take the flesh and deny it touch
Love was never here to adjudge
Free the sin, accuse the judge
Broken and shattered watch them begrudge

© Delia Ross. 2019


Y’all got to let shit go and stop chasing your tail and making the same mistakes over and over and over.

Ought To Know

Now that the room is empty
And the coffin is nailed closed
Now that the guilt is plenty
Where few ever opposed

Now that less is trendy
And eyes have been sewed closed
Now that few is many
Where your masks have been exposed

Now that desert has found sea
And your words have decomposed
Now that stone is heavy
Was there more I ought to know?

© Delia Ross. 2019

I mean, all a man has is his word and honor so what does that make you!?! Your word is useless now. And honor? You’ll never know…

Narcissism warning

TERMS YOU NEED TO STUDY / THEN GO NO CONTACT

TRIANGULATION, GASLIGHTING, LOVE BOMBING

These are common tools and tactics the narcissist will use to manipulate, confuse, and control you. GO NO CONTACT!

I know it hurts honey, I’m hurting too. But, they are incapable of real love. You gotta go no contact. There’s nothing you can do to change them. You can’t fix them. They are damned. Save yourself! Go NO CONTACT. NO LOOKING BACK!

xoxo

Red Flags

I warned you, didn’t I?
I pointed out the red flags
But oh you still believe in words
Where mouths will always lie

You think I am crazy?
Truth is my only mask
Though you see it as trash
I wear integrity as we all cry

I warned you of this guy
But still you open wide
You stay by his side
When you know deep down he is mine

Stones like troops berating
Maybe queen was only saving
You from injury
That will keep you aching

© Delia Ross. 2019

Narcissism 2.0

Regret; you wear it like a dress,
Take it for a spin in a shiny corvette.

Integrity; you haven’t got any yet,
Honesty a language you never learned I bet.

Lies; they’re like sparkle in your disguise,
When it meets the light it always make the shadows cry.

Tears; they come wrapped as a favorite prize,
Just another reason the Earth will die.

© Delia Ross. 2019

Narcissism is destroying the world.

Kinky vampy bitch inside

First off let me just say, I am a kinky bitch. I am in no way ashamed of my body, even though for many years many people tried to make me feel bad for being petite and for not being made of plastic. You see, I may not have fake hair, fake eyelashes, fake nails, fake tits, fake tans, or fake personalities, etc, because I actually like to feel and sense my surroundings. I want to feel the things I’m touching and the things that are touching me and plastic is a barrier. And so, what you see is what you get. I shouldn’t have to remove my panties to find a good lover. Everyone is so desensitized these days, but not me. Even that plastic vibrator you’re using is keeping you disconnected and from real connection. I’ve traveled the world, I could have bought breast many times over, but I love myself too much to fall for society’s standards. I’m not a slut and I’m not asking you for money but generally girls who remove their panties are in fact asking you for money one way or the other. Whether it be a print or a book collaboration. So I am kinky, I am a vampire, I like kinky sex but I’m very private about my sexual life. I never said the blogger was fucking everyone, I said she’s fucking one person. And living in Alaska doesn’t rule you out of fucking sex.

Stop judging me by the covers I refuse to take off and start seeing me for my actual worth. I am not close-minded. But she is a sex worker, stop fucking being blinded by the shades and wording she is using. I DON’T LIKE HER AND HE SHOULDN’T BE WITH HER. BAD INFLUENCE.

Cobwebs

He spins a web of confusion
He spews we are living in delusion
That won’t stop him from carrying on
His mask cannot hide his beacon

And without reason, I follow the action
I was taught love is twice bitten
Well, maybe his web leads to Eden
It matters not how many webs are spun

I crawl over fragmented dreams and broken bones
It makes me ponder how many hearts he owns
Are they easy to collect like clones
Does he cherish the ones dethroned from their thrones

The stickier the web, the heavier the bloodstones
The harder the heart, the more sinful the wrongs
The farther we part, the heavier the moans
The more you punish, the darker the zones

© Delia Ross. 2019

For the most part, I put all my darkness into my poetry, or my art, I wouldn’t actually bite his head off in real life… the follow unfollow routine might be annoying but seriously there are worse crimes. And I’m trying to refrain from allowing others to trigger me. I have written him so much beautiful rhyme, it would be a shame to focus on the few falls between. xxoo

Evil 101

Tears carve through my sorrow like ice
Cold was his method but precise
Wrong was my soul to sacrifice
Forgiveness an unreachable asking price

Deep is the evil lurking in his core
I’d rather go blind than read anymore
I’d rather go deaf than hear from his whore
I’d rather just die than walk through his door

He got the devil collecting every lie he creates
He got the girls falling for every bait
He got the truth covered by multiple gates
A predator for the young he lures and awaits

I fucking see through all of your masks
A predator, a monster, a narcissist, a liar wherever you bask
Years of denial if anyone were to ever ask
When it comes to being special you fail the task

© Delia Ross. 2019

DON’T YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?

Cowardice

Wrap it tight, wrap it snug
Insert love with every word
Never rushed, never slurred
Ensuring messages are always heard

Now take the love and cut in thirds
Put on blinds so eyes are blurred
Gift denial so minds are stirred
Undo connections and act absurd

Destroy the paths, silence preferred
Hide in the dark, act a coward
Give them doubt to march toward
Give them pain where love was stored

© Delia Ross. 2019

A Visit From Lu Part 2

Read: A Visit From Lu Part 1


A Visit From Lu Part 2

Now it is true Lu has been after me since about 1978
Ever since I fled the compounds of those Pearly gates
Restricted to forever yet I castrated my own fate
I fell beyond the heavens to see what love I could create

“Alright, enough with the charades”, Lu had finally said
“Why did you call me here” as he leaned across my bed
And I a child started giggling until my face was turning red
But careful is the food I chew when it’s the devil passing bread

It was in this moment that both our eyes connected
I often wondered how many souls he had collected
Which of the seven sins had the best method
And was the numbers what they both expected

Those numbers won’t mean anything, if Lu can’t collect, both of my wings
Black as onyx, soft as silk, one feather would please all the kings
There’s unspoken pleasures that my feather brings
There’s only one in the world with the deed to these blessings

“First off Lu, I never called you here”
“If I were to pray now, it would be for you to disappear
My soul is not for bargain, let me make it clear –
I seem to remind you year after year…”

And now he knows I am speaking truth
Honesty, it’s what earned my wings of youth
He knows lying here, will never be of use
It is why I’m such a challenge and one he cannot lose

To be continued…!?!

© Delia Ross. 2019

Read: A Visit From Lu Part 3


How are you liking this fantasy religion stuffs? Should I continue the story with part 3? I’ve been sort of taking the long way around, so I haven’t really got to the bread-and-butter yet. 😄

Really dig the last line in the 2nd stanza tho, I did goods there, right? 🤔 Made it worth writing part two me thinks.

Interference

What am I but skin and bones
A kingdom of right and wrongs
A street of worry and heavy are each stone
Once his muse, now a girl who moans
Watch how he exits and dethrones
He hasn’t a backbone

What am I but a bruise that won’t heal
And to his lies I won’t back down and kneel
And to his demise just a fifth wheel
And why I’m the scapegoat I’ve no idea

There is no resolution, there is no choice
There is no evidence of a voice
Now pull the plug but don’t rejoice
His love is simply white noise

© Delia Ross. 2019

Aftermath

Do you ever regret building my wall?
Do you ever feel anything at all?

Are you even aware of what you lost?
Can you feel the weight of its cost?

Are you proud of the pain you caused?
The red flags raised and lines you crossed?

The bridges burned, the lies you craft
Did you all, have a good laugh?

I gave you love, you fed me wrath
I still dwell in the aftermath

© Delia Ross. 2019

Clot

There it was I thought
But then again maybe not
It is tangled in a knot
A wound without a clot

And yet bigger that it got
It smelled of death and rot
He said he knew but he forgot
And neither cared to clean the spot

And while the witch did stir the pot
Along she came a wretched trot
And with her pen she took a shot
And I seek naught the thing she brought

© Delia Ross. 2019

HE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE MY LOVE WENT *LAUGHS INSANELY*

There’s a hurricane headed to Florida and there’s a good chance I’ll lose Communications for a bit.

Truth Comes Hard

Truth came hard like thunder, the sky opened her eyes, flush with rage, she whipped across the night, striking melodies of discord, a witness to betrayal, an immediate downpour of reason, she licks blood from the spear of doubt, her shout echoes into the distant memory of what was, what ever could be, lies dance in ballerina shoes into neverland, but truth comes hard like thunder. I open my gates to her fury, for she is my sister and cry together we did.

© Delia Ross. 2019

Early morning thoughts of truth in my pjs… plus an early morning snap while still sleepy-eyed cuz I wake up like this… messy & honest (it’s a lonely place to be amongst a world of lies).