He think she’s utterly enchanting and she’s stealing my signature booty moves, so the story goes…
We both Top Creators (she is doing better, I’m only touching the tip of the summit)- she don’t need to be dipping her toes into my pool – but she has done!
Had he not told me he loved me and that he wanted to marry me, I may have already been dead on the fucking street…
She already has everything and now she has my signature booty move too on her fucking profile.
I might cry.
I know it was him who renewed for a year on her OF and he got her that thing off her Amazon wishlist and now she’s stealing my booty moves
👀
I know exactly why Edgar Allan Poe died on the street and these are the same motherfuckers that would’ve locked me on the bottom of the fucking Titanic
👀
Oh you stealing my signature booty moves and my man.
Disclaimer: this poem IS NOT about skin color. Or maybe more an FYI.
Some porn goddess is out there stealing my signature booty move 🍑- but that didn’t stop him from wanting to run off to Vegas with me and elope. I know the feels.
He just dropped in For days missing Didn’t ask him where he’d been I already knew then So what difference was asking?
I am his high priestess His confessions fall upon me any hour And do I not rise to the call when he is his weakest? I am his to fall
So resting now his wishes Here sins have no power The gates to heaven are keyless Looks like love has no wall
He was spending all his time at the mire Messages got stuck along the wire And drawing colder yet flame from fire Eyes perched on devil hands with buyer
Just when I believe you’ve disappeared for good, you’re at my feet whispering “I love you”.
I own a tiny piece of his heart And I carry it so deep in me It’ll never break apart
Jupiter, What are you waiting on?
So patiently in the dark So far from where I thought
You’re Father Stark
If you aren’t him and he isn’t you Then who in the world am I talking to?
Where do the tides take you? Pulling from destiny Are you hurt too? You are magnetic But you are not a moon I feel me falling I hope there’s light coming soon
The gates of hell have already been opened The 7th seal now broken But I will die loving you That is certain
The sun is expanding Time covers your beard in doom A reminder my heart’s worth saving Should it pass you soon
He sends me pictures I normally wouldn’t approve And if I’m lost among the shadow, he’ll build a statue For even when light is narrow, we make a new noon For time is like an arrow, space the canoe And riding now forever, the love we accrue
If we were a map, what would we be? Would you be part of my destiny?
He just turned up – with casual conversation and a deep desire to linger on my existence.
Conversation you’d expect a couple that’s been together for 20 years to be having (I just mean the connection- not the topic, that’s irrelevant).
Just flew in – landed at my feet – i love you.
Heaven got a chance to rest too.
For a blink.
But for that moment, I so badly wanted to rub my fingers over his head. And let him snuggle on my arm so I could breathe on his head lightly.
He ends the war in my head.
When I’m not crying over him being with her – or that my destiny is to die unloved on the fucking street.
If I’m lucky I might get a box for my bones.
My end of the world pandemic look (which is basically yesterday’s make up that I slept in because I haven’t really been able to sleep since he said he loved me).
So I won’t be throwing away my masks or safety precautions any time soon.
This is end times my friend.
Pandemic life.
Heading in for Moderna dose 2 soonish – and this vaccine is only 94% effective against the COVID virus (and from my understanding only slightly effective from the rapidly evolving strain- I’d rather not toss out numbers, but I read something like 4%). Fuck 👀
Stay woke, stay safe.
Might be going back flaming orange red soon- if I can give more time for the black to fade from my fine, silky threads. Those roots showing mean my hair is growing longer – woo hoo. Y’all just gonna have to deal with my bed head look a bit longer. But summer is for shades, scarfs, and hats!!!! I live in hell! Gonna start using my umbrella for the SUN! DUH!!!
Umbrellas in the Sun! It’s the end of the world!!!
And y’all noticed how everything is connected and follows similar patterns?
We ain’t the only galaxy that has evolved life.
Porn and religion are the same entity.
The NWO run the world.
Our world leaders talk often of the NEW WORLD ORDER.
Open your mind/ears.
WAKE UP
Knock knock
Neo, the door
(So to sum things up, I’m still in quarantine awaiting dose two of the Covid vaccination and this does not mean I will be completely safe or immune from catching Covid or the rapidly evolving new strain, so I’m not gonna throw my masks away and neither should you- should you get vaccinated).
Sometimes there are none But rarely ever few Sometimes they are one Or maybe simply two
Sometimes I go numb When only counting you But only when I’m dumb Do I really catch the view
How dare he – Walk into the devil’s den – And insult she – He’s looking for an end!
He tells me I’m perfect; without ever saying the words And even when I’m not worth it; his love will come in herds
I scream at him with the fury of a sun I scratch and claw He is a demon After all
There are people trying to bury me in a box Friend or foe They’re never what I thought The story goes They talk a lot of talk Well I unplugged Am paranoid around the clock
There are monsters lurking every inch And forward sleeping Nightmares in my grip What were you thinking When giving me a pinch? So now I’m left dreaming Of when I’ll never give a shit!
Who are you then? If every reason I’m not dead?
Knock knock Who’s there? I dunno And I don’t care
She had a graveyard in her front yard
Was it worth it? Losing your life to escape?
And all that gold around your worry Is that really what it takes?
But even the lowest of lowly Can’t remove the aches
Keeping vision blurry No courage had to face
The sun is glaring in a hurry And death is on our race
If life is but a scurry Please let me die with grace?
I’m trying to be more open Open to proceed I’m trying to be more open Open to receive
Cohesive What he said Cohesive But he’s dead
Everybody burns out Everybody burnt out Everybody burns out Everybody burnt out
Rest is for the weary Broken down and dreary Vision not too clearly
One day the end will come God will fix what man has done
A bigger piece doesn’t always mean the best; But in his case, he’s outdone the rest!
He wants me in denim But then he’s clinging To my tongue That’s leaking venom
World is all burning So give me balloon in sky On string with fire 💋
I gather nuts and bolts just like they’re little clues Now fleeting with the stars thoughts that will confuse I gather up our fears just like it is the news I color out of line simply to amuse
Submission without admission Ascending to attention But in case I fail to mention Descension brings dimension
Thank you for visiting my blog! I am working in my studio all week – writing and recording spoken word for my patrons- as well as working on some other secret projects!
I really appreciate your visits to my blog! Your feedback, your comments, likes, pledges, subscriptions, all the things!
He wants to do everything with me and all at once And when it’s over we will start again just like it is the first Because hour by hour he’s the only who knows how to taunt He fills me up with hunger, then feeds me to his wants
He is the softness I crave in color The silver moon in a haze from slumber Or how he pulls from me my wonder And plants it in the sky as starlight named summer
He is the daisy field I want to lay With weeping willow in the shade He is the reason daydream comes to play The wind is heaven in a sway
Since I am currently holding top 35 on the OnlyFans leaderboard, I am running a 35% off special on the 30 day, 3 month, and 6 months memberships!! You can currently get 35% off of any one of those memberships!! ❤️
I appreciate your support so much! 💋
Thanks for pushing me to the summit of the OnlyFans leaderboard! It’s not easy to do!! 💕
I’ve been kinda afraid to “let the girls hang” but these day I’m ever grateful of the fact cuz – no grey hair yet – still looking relatively young – still ovulating despite the age
Are most of the folks in the top 1% on OF even into dudes? Asking for a friend.
Because from my understanding the majority of them are lesbians, they’re not even into dudes, they are completely grossed out by cocks.
It’s just ironic.
But God gave me eyes to see
I’d be willing to place my own life on it and be crucified that the majority of them in the top 1% are actually in fact lesbians, they are fucking lesbians, they don’t even like dude’s, they’re not even bisexual, they are fucking lesbians!!!!!!
I just really appreciate being in the top 35 right now, that’s all, I feel really good in my location, especially after I’ve had dudes out there breaking up with me because “your tits aren’t fake, I only like fake”
Imagine saying that to a girl’s face (mine): “You’re a cool girl, you’ve got a great personality, I love your pussy, but I hate your tits”. True story. He broke up with me and I never heard from him again.
He wasn’t the only guy who has body shamed me and broke up with me over my “tits” so thank you for top 35!
Those girls you worship would lock you on the bottom of the titanic and giggle and laugh in empty boats as you fucking drowned.
Edit: OF stands for OnlyFans- It is a platform for all artist and industries!
OF means OnlyFans! It is a platform for all and any artist/industry. It is an 18+ platform only so mostly has been known for its “porn”. Not every content creator on OF is doing porn. My content is not porn / XXX. I have made top 35 on the OnlyFans leaderboard! I am going up against hard-core content and just appreciate my position on the leaderboard a bit more! Feels real and authentic!
So I think I’m feeling better today but it’s only 5:55 AM and I’m not ready to rush out of my bed and into my chores and into working out but I think I’m better.
I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet so the update could change.
But six days give or take is the turnaround time for me to recover from dose one of the Covid vaccine and guys I’m gonna let you know right now for dose two if I’m ripping my clothes off because I’m having a shitting fury of diarrhea I will not be taking photos or writing poetry.
I fear dose 2 will leave me in such a state I won’t even be on my devices.
He didn’t just set the scene this time, he rolled out the red carpet With diamonds and roses and my heart lined in his pocket He came with speed, into my heart, fast as a comet Let the scripture unroll, pray to him like a prophet
My falls to you a Band-Aid Rocks stumbling from a mountain, in an escapade And worry? It’s just my hair in a double braid And crying, it’s just another hand of charade You say my tears taste like lemonade; Add some kisses and the sun will play!
You and I are the hills, the great drive, up and down these feels
We need to just make an extra game out of me fucking up and every time I do we put a dollar in a cup and once it’s filled up we go do something fun with it.
Maybe he is all I will ever need The silver, the white All my eyes receive Maybe he’s the voice singing from the tree The way he softly hums from light deep within me
You know they found the bones of Christ. Others deny.
But I believe it to be true.
Bless his heart, he tried to warn us about the NWO.
He tried to tell us this isn’t our design.
Stuff doesn’t make you happy.
Life isn’t about money.
He was crucified.
John Lennon, shot.
Malcolm X
Tupac
Michael Jackson
Murdered
I’m trying to tell you what’s going on in the world but big bro keeps silencing me.
Things will get worse As I see the chess pieces slowly fall and lean more towards what our world leaders continue to talk about which is a one world, one religion, one language, one money, one power, utopian nightmare.
Thank you Bush and for your “signing statements” which left my country crippled and in a Hitler state.
I want nothing more than to chain you up, blindfold you, gag ball you, and lick, claw, scratch, suck, bite, and tickle torture you, until you’re screaming for release.
Wrong chat? Cuz. I just wanted to make sure the poem said all that. 👀
Sorry, not sorry.
I need to do a TikTok video of me doing a “he loves me he loves me not” with me on each shoulder talking about how “it is him” and then my right shoulder is like “no that isn’t him” but then my left shoulder is like “oh it’s definitely him” but then my right shoulder is like “it isn’t him” and I continue going on with the ‘he loves me, he loves me not’ while pulling petals from a rose for like 30 or 60 seconds, but I don’t know how to fucking make a cool TikTok video.
But ideas.
And then I get to play three different versions of myself , you know the angel on the right and the devil on the left and the me now pulling the petals….
Because that’s exactly what’s going on every fucking day this week.
I feel like all these moments need to be documented in scripture.
I need some lamb skin, I’ve got ink and a pen.
I feel it is my atoms popping into and out of existence and every three weeks bleeding out of me, painfully. My mind see’s eternity in you. And feels it too, puts my mind at ease. The ovaries too.
I love you.
I haven’t replaced my biology with big Pharma or plastic and I feel you through and through.
Your vibration like string theory.
Cuz it is real.
The multi-verse too.
Never once believed in the big bang theory.
The great pyramid scheme- TV, Consumerism, Money = slavery
Sorry- If there are multi-verses out there and it’s clear there’s other universes out there , I hope they’re doing a better job than we are, because we’ve been around for 6 billion years but somehow we’ve been manipulated to believe that we’ve only been around for 2000 years…
For what it’s worth- asteroid Apophis is real, and she is swing dancing with earth, she’s been here before!!!!
Saint Petey said “April 2-0-2-9 / the final time / the end my friend is not near / the hour in fact is quite here” and he named her Apophis (all end)
He regretted getting the Alpha and Omega tattoos tattooed on his hands one night when he was drunk but he had a bad ticker too.
They will lovebomb you with religion and it will deprive you of your senses- they will chain you to porn- diluting any chances
Hello NWO/ Illuminati I see you
IDGAF
*pops bubble*
And I don’t even need to reload my M16A2
*sucks thumb*
Y’all are the same fucking entity it’s so fucking clear to me, am I going crazy, am I the only one who can see reality, and y’all are still chained to these fears, you still believe that the government has blankets that aren’t filled with chickenpox…
*dies in street*
I’ve been fighting so hard to protect y’all and y’all are the same motherfuckers who would’ve locked me on the bottom of the motherfucking titanic and watched it sink in boats that could’ve had more people in them
He didn’t enter my residence, he crash landed He didn’t set the scene, he just demanded And I with holy wings unseen Dropped with lightning to my knee
He didn’t knock, he just flew in He smelled of all the things I loathe, I hope he comes again How my tears befuddle beneath my feet It took a demon to feel complete
I don’t know what to do anyway and they all want a porn star or pro dominatrix or my hand in marriage. 👀
That’s why no one is joining my OnlyFans during its flash sale, right?
Too inexperienced, too real, too much of what you need…
*rolls eyes*
Right now , as my numbers slowly decline, I’m facing the fact that one day there won’t be anybody there at all.
But I’m glad to see that every other girl in the world is doing so good on their OF. 🦕
I’m gonna stop crying soon because I got a really cute set I want to do for my subs.
And I was afraid to even try it on because I missed an entire week of working out which is also contributing to my loathiness.
But whatever. New poem.
And new set coming soon to my OF because I wanna spoil my subs.
I mean it was just 4 days ago that I was visited by the Holy Ghost.
I’m feeling pretty inspired (ignore the self loathing woes)
It’s just my ovaries not wanting to die on the street yet.
But my mind is like, “why do you keep putting yourself through this emotional mental torture prison dieeeeeeeee”
My therapist is like “you need to stop ignoring my calls and take your prescription“.
My voice is like, “LEAVE ME ALONE, LET ME DIE”
My primary care doctor is like, “your temperature and blood pressure are really low, bed rest”
COVID vaccine is like, “rest HAHA FUCK YOU”
The love of my life (or someone) is like, “hold up, I got you” *suspends me in a dimension between heaven and earth*
And that is all entirely from just this week and it’s not even Sunday yet. 👀
And despite the fact that nobody wants to join my OnlyFans during its first 50% off flash sale (lame) – I’m only focused on getting this new set out.
Because of you, I’m not yet obsolete.
I’m not a fucking dead dinosaur. Yet.
Guys always almost always instantly put me into a “married zone” – even though they call it a friend zone- And then when they don’t get what they want from me they say, “We can’t be friends because I like you too much”.
Now days they just stop supporting you, liking your content, you know the silent treatment and the ghosting.
And it’s completely acceptable for a business to do this to you as well.
THIS IS HELL.
So when I stop crying about the fact that I’m gonna wind up dead on the street, I’ve got some color to put out.
And I’m sorry I’m not a pro dominatrix, I’m a fucking warrior poet, just like Edgar Allan Poe.
Never really heard him talking about his M16A2 assault rifle- But maybe that’s because the technology didn’t exist back then and maybe he’s a better writer because he existed in different fucking times And was in love with his actual family which I can’t stand.
He loved his family so much that they tossed him in an unmarked box in an unmarked grave.
(My family would rather gaslight you and make you believe that I am the love of their life even though I don’t even have a fucking identity)
I haven’t got to work on my booty gains at all this week. Been working on my heart (and have been medically predisposed). But Monday, I’m gonna hit the rebounder hard. Trying not to stress out about missing days- my heart doesn’t need any more stress right now. In fact, it’s going to have to go through this shit even harder in a few weeks when I go in for round 2 of the COVID Moderna vaccine.
You can make a mess of things but I’ll be organizing it in a clutter. 😜
The good news is I got to my favorite store today and got some new spring lingerie!
Which set do you think I got?
That’s about all the energy I had to do. 🦋🦄🦋 (Part 1 of the Covid vaccine plus maybe also my BP being so low has just left me very lethargic).
I hope the new set fits! No energy to try it on yet but also not feeling the best about missing a whole week of working out! 🤢🤢🤢
She said that round 2 of the COVID vaccine can get nasty, people are reporting having to “strip their clothes off” in the bathroom when they have diarrhea.
And it has taken me roughly 3 days to recover from shot 1. My heart was like holy fuck – we ain’t even had a hug since 2019! WTF did you give me.
And just think, in only a few weeks I get to do this all again!
I’ll keep you posted- And I am not looking forward to my body overheating so badly that I will need to remove my clothing and everything on the inside “potentially” (it is a side effect of the vaccine though)
*laughs insanely*
So I’m getting ready to shop for some butt plugs.
I’m all in. 👀
People say something is wrong with me because I sometimes laugh when people die or when they fall down or when they shit themselves and like it’s just how I process the bad stuff.
I’ve been having random burst of laughter all morning since I woke up because I’m terrified of what’s to come and the only way I know how to make some fun out of it is to buy some really cool butt plugs (like a glass one with a tail) that I can use in some of my cosplay photography on OnlyFans.
When life throws you lemons- buy some butt plugs.
That’s the lesson I’m learning here.
*laughs insanely*
Can’t. Breathe.
I finally got a good laugh in this pandemic, my gut is hurting.
My ass may soon be hurting too.
Just keeping it real…
Nicely put but the reality for some is “ripping your clothes off” in a meltdown because you can’t have any “fabric touching your skin”
Can’t.Stop.Laughing.
I’m gonna pee myself
If you’ve never had to violently remove your clothing while taking a shit then you don’t know struggle.
You’re full on Then irregularly shaped You’re inverted Then heavily draped You’re closed off Then readily awake You’re oblong Then curled like a snake You stand fast Then need to escape You pop smoke Then put on a break!
They are now pushing COVID vaccinations for all VETS (here) and with limited supply.
(So I got part 1 of a 2 shot vaccination series for COVID. I’m still recovering. I’ll get into all the details below but first… just wanna start from the beginning)…
Got hit by a freight train the night after I had a visit by the Holy Ghost
48 hours later or something and I am still recovering.
From a first time experience for something I will always cherish- to getting part 1 of 2 of the COVID vaccine- my fucking body went into overdrive and my BP dropped really low.
I was in an incredible amount of pain- but the thing that happened to me the night before, left me in a dreamlike trance.
I heard from him the next night- and was like- “sorry my energy levels are so low” – not knowing that my heart was actually having a hard time pumping blood throughout my body- my temperature had dropped- my skin was cold- my blood pressure was really low.
I went back to the doc today to get my EKG (a heart test), which I passed.
My blood pressure was also taken again today, I still feel extremely weak, but my BP has increased to a normal level.
My BP yesterday on 3/31 and today on 4/1. Yesterday my BP was extremely low- the doc wanted me to get an EKG while I was there, but I just wanted to go home. Everything at the VA takes 10 years to get done. I had the nurse write down my numbers today because I can never remember shit due to my brain injury.
His visit wrapped me in a protective bubble, I just know it.
His visit had me sedated- which kept me from getting in my head and having any sort of anxiety over how my body was feeling. I honestly don’t think my heart could’ve handled a fucking anxiety attack.
I was in so much pain I couldn’t even sleep. Literally moaning and tossing all night, uncomfortably. “Sore” she said. This wasn’t “sore”, this was a fucking softball that hit my arm.
If I would have died, it would have been okay tho.
I was so calm that I could feel space and time. Because of his visit.
I was dying but it didn’t matter. I was content. Minus the freight train hitting my arm. Like ow.
My heart had expanded with the entire universe. Maybe that’s why it had such a hard time pumping blood throughout my body. I was temporarily suspended between heaven and earth because of him. Maybe he’s the reason I’m still alive.
All I know is I’m having to go through this alone during a pandemic and somehow he made me feel less alone. Unknowingly. I call these things fate. Maybe even mercy. Fate and mercy.
It’s complicated.
He’s got more power over me than he knows.
It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, followed by a really scary one, which was actually affecting my body (and still is as I feel it coursing through me) but all I could do is just lay there and be like, “eh, sorry my energy levels are low“. 🤢
Babe, it is my blood pressure.
I’m stretched from here to infinity.
I love you.
My preferred method of dying would be while making love to you.
In years past I always thought this to be selfish, given that my partner would be destroyed. But maybe some time alone with me would be OK. 👀
I am very sexually deprived but dying while having sex has always been my number 1 preferred way to die, in fact, it’s either immortality or death by sex.
Babe, fuck me to death.
Or, love me to death?
Even when I have low energy or low blood pressure.
Babe, now!
I don’t know who or what came to me but you must be reading this, you must be reading this right now, you know who you are, I love you. 💕
And I think on your visit, as a miracle.
I want to get the date tattooed on me.
Just don’t want to forget since I can’t seem to remember.
Did it mean anything to you?
Now I’m scared of me around you. It’s just a phase, it will pass. I can only process two things right now and that’s Covid and love.
I’m only scared because I’m inexperienced.
I was studying how to be softer not harder.
I’ve had to be so tough and hard all my life.
Here’s what I know about the vaccines, there are two going around: The Johnson and Johnson vaccine and the Moderna vaccine.
Moderna is a 2 part series and is 94% effective against the COVID virus. The Johnson and Johnson vaccine is 80% effective.
No vaccine is 0% effective against COVID.
Everybody will experience different side effects but I’m not going to gaslight you and tell you that my arm got “sore”, no, it felt like a motherfucking softball hit it and I couldn’t sleep all night and my BP fucking dropped the next day.
I still have one more shot to go and I’m told this one is really bad, people will start catching the fever, the chills, the diarrhea, and all the other nasty side effects, so I will keep you updated on my experience.
So far for me, the pain in my arm has been it. I already suffer from underlying health issues, which is one of the reasons I’m getting the vaccine.
I will shit my pants if it means I will get some peace of mind from this pandemic and if it means that I can travel again in the future and enter buildings AND because I now have a vaccination card- like I said- eventually they’re going to get all the stragglers by making it mandatory.
You need to ask yourself do you want to get the vaccine while they’re offering it to you or when they’re enforcing it? (I can already hear the skinheads lol)
It doesn’t really matter if you want it or not anymore. It will be made mandatory and you can mark my words. Vaccination record or no entry! Checkmate goes to the NWO.
Placing a bet. 100 dollar bill says they make vaccinations mandatory (for public access like schools, hospitals, transport, you get my drift!?!) Who wants to bet against me that they don’t? I got you a bill if I’m wrong.
I didn’t hesitate to get dose 1 when I saw they were offering it to the vets but I had my reservations…
Asking questions to the right peopleWe were taken to a special area to be “briefed” about the vaccinations. The government doesn’t do anything without a mile long paper trail. And per usual, Soldiers are on the frontlines. If you’re sitting there feeling like we are “entitled”, vets make up a huge portion of the population that make you feel safe in your homes. Civilians should be next in line for the vaccines. Unless you want to be the guinea pigs and go first? I’d be totally fine sitting in my fox hole with an M-16 watching y’all orgy fuck each other for it. Let me adjust my scope. The VA is always packed and understaffed, I just don’t like to take pictures of folks… Moderna is 94% effective against the COVID virus and issued in a two part dosage series. I was told that the Johnson and Johnson vaccine is 1 dose and 80% effective. No vaccine is 0% effective, FYI. I’m still a soldier with my boots in the trenches and yes I still get a paycheck by Uncle Sam. If I’m entitled to it it’s because I worked for it. Hard. But there are still people out there who tell me I don’t deserve my pension. Knowledge is power. Reduces fear. You’re welcome.
Please know that how the VA does things may not be the way things are done for civilians.
You may not have to go through a briefing before getting vaccinated.
Dose 1 of the Moderna COVID vaccine. Injected into the muscle. Have now had others agreeing with me that it feels like being hit by a baseball bat or “punched” in the arm. They also agreed they could not get comfortable enough to sleep. This was for dose 1. Another universal sign I was on the right path- we’re all matching. Gloves. Needle. Shirt. Same color. 90 degrees, into the muscle. I used to give vaccinations all the time working as a combat medic and medical specialist in the Army. First to fight. HOOAHAnd just think, round 2 may include the shits. 👀
Selfless service is part of the soldiers creed.
Didn’t spend my entire life in a fox hole fighting to protect you just to come home so I could cough on you and potentially kill you. Also, tired of fearing the individual coughing with their mask down touching my fucking shoulder. Like woah, personal space + social distancing- keep fucking back 6 feet! But now that there is mandatory social distancing, nobody respects personal space anymore. I haven’t even had a hug since 2019 and I don’t do good around people currently.
I’m ready to get back to life. Gigging. Travel. My OnlyFans photography will improve, just based on the fact that it won’t be in this fucking dreadful house anymore.
These fucking walls.
These fucking masks.
I read an article on CNN where the native American Indians were begging everyone to get the vaccinations, saying that the Indians are being wiped out by COVID and they understand the fears, and it was a turning point in my decision making- that- and the fact that they are now offering the vaccinations to veterans (at least here and in limited supply). I’m scheduled for part 2 of this vaccination series, which I have to get in about three weeks (this month).
I’m so tired I don’t even know what’s going on anymore aside from the fact that I was at the VA again today having my blood pressure rechecked and getting my EKG, which I passed. I have a sensitive heart. I’m sorry. Petite. 😔
Facts about death resulted from the vaccine per the CDC – just to ease your mind.
Well the chances of me dying by receiving the vaccine are low but the chances of me dying by contracting Covid are very very high because I have underlying health issues and I’m not taking the chance.
I’m definitely terrified and not looking forward to round 2 in a few weeks but it is a necessary evil at this point and my peace of mind is already so much better.
You entered me like the Holy Ghost Took my tongue, love you the most
You left my heart in sacred prayer I can’t see but know you’re there
You filled my hope with the holy trinity I am Eden, come plant your seeds
*The copyright of all content on my blog belongs to me and if you plagiarize or steal from me I will hunt you down and rip your fucking eyes and throat out*
He didn’t crucify me. He baptized me! 😍
Faith is my middle name. Facts! 🤪
I know I’m not a sex goddess but you make me see the world anew.
Have you ever been with an angel before?
When my analytical brain starts playing around with my fractured broken brain, the who and the what become distorted, and I feel the tug of Sagittarius A* – but if I stay in the light, the why allows the galaxies to continue forming.
Where?
It’s just free will.
Could you imagine if in the night we looked up in the sky and there was nothing but blackness and how fucking scary it would really be BUT we’re not of this world and we are not alone.
It’s clear to see.
(I know the more primal side of your brain has been activated and mostly in use all for all of its life – because you are a slave Neo).
I am Trinity
Knock knock
(I’m that program inside the Matrix doing what it’s not supposed to be doing (that’s why big bro keeps fucking punishing me, shadowbanning me, and silencing me, but no one will believe me).
So I created a new account with posts up and I had followers and I was following people and then I would use certain keywords or hashtags and my profile would be blocked, you wouldn’t be able to find it when you searched for it…
1984 is now, I’m trying to reach you.
But the iron Berlin Walls are up everywhere.
At some point Covid vaccinations will be mandatory.
Right now they are keeping it in limited supply so that they can create demand for it (like they’re doing with the PS5).
The government creates the panic, ahem, the NWO/Illuminati/1%, then they sweep in with a cure, “you can trust us” (more blankets with chickenpox), I mean GASLIGHTING.
Now they’re fucking with my very DNA and I have to trust that this new rapidly evolving Covid virus, is not going to wipe me out because I entrusted in this new vaccine.
But alas, I am a Soldier, ahem sheeple, still in the trenches, playing my part.
And all my comrades around me are dying by the same illness that I am plagued with and I’m trying not to die on the street like Edgar Allan Poe and I guess what I’ve been trying to say all along is I love you so fucking much…
And there’s an amber alert going off right now because some kid has been kidnapped and just a few weeks ago I was almost kidnapped in broad daylight – this is one of the worst fucking towns I could’ve fucking wound up in and it’s spring break, I don’t wanna leave my fucking walls anyway so you can come- I don’t know – invade my body anytime you want for whatever purposes.
Oh and…
Your name is tattooed in my soul
It’s 8 AM and I’m still feeling aloof and I have to go get my EKG and all I wanna do is stay in the bed. I haven’t had a day to rest since you visited me.
I don’t want to exist in any realm without you.
I know I am not all you need.
Sagittarius A* pulling again
I know I am all that you need (sometimes)
Don’t let me die on the street 😑
Angel just wanna crawl in monster arm unharmed
Angel heart so very tired of fighting world
Monsters under her bed
In her head, out her window, chasing her down sidewalk, Angel say no they won’t listen, Angel say no again and they still won’t go.
Angel say yes and get the silent treatment.
Angel buy new phone and only get 50% of a charger.
Angel goddess of confusion 👀
Angel tired.
Not just in head anymore.
Doctors worried.
👀
The good news is my arm no longer feels like a freight train hit it. 👀
Angel no like pain
👀
(Angel like to give pain)
Angel warrior
👀
Tired warrior
You’re gonna give me an honorable death, aren’t you?
The world has shunned me worthless.
You’re not gonna let me die on the street like Poe?
Are you collecting every stone people throw me?
Are you giving them the stones?
Is somebody impersonating you?
Have I gone mad?
That couldn’t have been just anyone.
Could it?
Seamless
*sigh*
you you you
Through and through
Doctor: “are you currently sexually active”
Me: “ugh no, I’m never having sex again”
Doctor: “Are you planning to have children in the next 12 months“
Also Me: “yes, absolutely”
👀
*snort*
I’m ruint 😻
And I want to hear your stories until my very last breath.
I was born and then kicked out of the fucking nest before I could fly, always called a “runt” and unwanted- please don’t let me die on the street worthless and unloved
Please don’t toss me in an unmarked box
(And you’re not alive to put a roof over my head or to bring me the moon every night).
Monster has a safe place to rest in angel arm.
Angel love monster
Jesus died for sins…
Angel would die too…
For you
The rest of the world can fucking burn
Kiss me and tell me stories we’re really living outside this hellish nightmare
You’re erupting, let the lava flow into my waters.
Free love (from the chains that bind)
You’re getting into your head, I can feel you getting into your head. Stop thinking with your heads and start thinking with your heart.
Babe, you don’t have to bring the moon to me every night.
But that doesn’t mean I won’t look on each night with wonder.
I’m still so elated.
In fact, my blood pressure is EXTREMELY LOW. Enough that the doc wants an EKG.
So I’m still floating on clouds in hell.
Thank you very much.
Will die for you.
xo
Be wild.
You know where my fort is and you’re the only one allowed in it.
I’ve never had that sort of safety with anybody before.
I love you.
And safety is my number one business (soldier)
I wanna crawl into you.
Sleep.
Or just be.
All the speeds.
I don’t want you to drown with mankind
This isn’t your design
I would die for your kiss
We could start with coffee but I would die for your kiss
Your sins
Your kiss
To feel your thumb on my lip
(signing off from some alternate, ethereal galaxy where I am half alive and half dead with a BP of 59/70 (low low low)
Trying not to get into my head because I don’t think my heart can handle an anxiety attack right now.
I’m in this ethereal, calm state because of you.
But not everybody lives to be old and I really want to live long enough to feel your kiss.
Calm down.
We’re connected to each other, through time, through lines, just deal with it.
Plant the seeds.
Till the garden.
Water it.
Clean the weeds.
Watch love grow.
Keep nurturing love.
Fruit and blooms.
Nuts.
Delicious treats.
I’m living my last decade I can feel it.
Michael Jackson said he wasn’t going to live past 50 and he didn’t.
*sigh*
I’m in a foggy mist of love.
You’ve got my heart completely stretched out.
I can feel neutrinos or something.
And I’m like a little kid who doesn’t want to go to sleep because I’m afraid I’ll stop dreaming about you.
But also I want to live in a fantasy world because I live in a fucking world of confusion because of my brain injury so give me something other than paranoia and fear for a change.
We can just sit in the dark.
You have no idea how the sound of your heartbeat would be like a beautiful harp echoing through my soul and I want to feel your vibrations bouncing off of me.
I know I’ll never be enough for you.
But I never had parents or an identity, I’m ruined.
I don’t want to cage you.
You are my safe place.
I know you don’t think very much of yourself and you don’t have very much self-respect but I’d take a bullet for you.
I could never out you.
Would cut my own wrist open and sink with the ship.
I’ve had some pretty mad nights, thought I was going to wind up on the street.
