Posted on by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Too Calm (journal log)

I’m told I’ll be getting a renewal invite to remain at the heart of darkness.

It’s been nearly one year since that couple was gutted in the street – by a black immigrant – simply because they were “white” – and now they’re dead – and he gets 3 meals a day, a free roof over his head, dental, and an HOUR of sunshine for his MENTAL HEALTH – on us (the tax slave payers dollars = time/energy)

The political thugs in gold chains now want your signature – soliciting anywhere they legally can: the library, the mall, the medicinal shops.

Overjoyed.

I don’t know where I’m going – but I don’t have to prove anything to “remain here” as I’ve been stuck in purgatory so long now – I don’t have to provide any evidence of my existence.

Just keep paying the rent….

Do as say

But I yelled at the boomer Publix employee, “no bitch, you lost a fucking customer FOREVERRrrr”

Apparently we became a cashless society and she felt the need to rub it in, three times, scolding me in front of everyone around, my cash in hand, unable to pay.

“It says it right there” (honestly, you only need to point out my failure ONCE)

I’ve boycotted Publix forever

There’s poison and sugar and “natural flavor” in everything now anyway

“How did she die”

“Starved to death…”

“White people work out one time and be skinny” (latest neighborhood report on me)

The upside: they think I’ve only worked out once. Skinny. Weak bitch.

Let that be my fucking gain

In fact, at Burger King yesterday, the Mexican manager came out with two of her BLM pimps, when I told her to “step outside”

He was very upset when he heard me say, “oh you had to bring your pimps with you huh”

Very upset he got

Truth in fact hurts

I drove off too calm

The adrenal glands were not working

Even pulling off

“I’m too calm”

“Had to bring your pimps huh” I continue to yell, as traffic at the window was at a stop

They gonna run off all their white costumers with their terrible service

I ordered the “impossible king” and apparently that’s too complicated for certain species to get right

Though I repeated my order THREE times

Fuck it

I like starving anyway

I got my library card tho

And holyshit, that’s where I’ll be at the end of the world

Check the libraries

Leave clues a 5 year old could solve (anything harder and I’ll read the data wrong and wind up stuck in a fucking hole – as is now – with a heart condition – thanks to “television” and government – whom I no longer listen to in any capacity)

At least the library is ad free

I can read in silence

Love the smell of the old books

All them lies

There are perks to not being homeless (yet)

Aside from the thugs trying to solicit my signature in the parking lot – everywhere I go

In their gold chains…

I wanna puke

Stop talking to me

From now on

When someone interrupts whatever I’m doing solo

“Did I give you permission to talk to me”

And the ghosting will begin

And please cross my shadow

I know you’re trying so hard to break me out here

Of being a good Soldier, a good soul

But I swore my hand before the flag and God – and on my heart – and signed the dotted line – took my blood and all – to protect and defend the USA and its citizens – not DEMONS

And right now you stepping all up in the “fine print”

I dated for a lifetime and have nothing to show for it

STOP LOOKING AT ME

I’m ready to spit on these thug politicians in the street

FUCK OFF BRO

You can’t have my signature, my name, or my soul

Go back to your porn and prostitutes

I was trying to enjoy the jazz event – and men breaking their eyeballs to get a look

STOP LOOKING

I had to hold back the tears

Pretend the music was getting to me

Next week I hang with a cop who teaches about a Daytona Beach serial killer

Exciting! They want us living in fear!

Do I want to say yes to the “true encounters Daytona Beach serial killer” event. Yes I do.

I’m not even a jazz fan – but I went – and enjoyed (still cry anywhere)

The audiobook helped me not stalk anyone

But apparently I’m not allowed to order food anymore anywhere

Unless a yuppie place

I found something that sparked joy in me

It matches my values – it offers self-improvement and the entertainment is how it should be – without disruptions or ads

Easy scrolling interface

Eventually I’ll make my way to the science museum

The skate park and rinks

I checked out an express book

I’m 8 chapters in

I’m becoming present – and creating boundaries and discipline

My mind needs exercise – the books provide

The 2 week express lane gives me a challenge

You can’t renew those

I got my library card and it’s bringing me happies – can’t describe

So much to do too – free classes, movies at the auditorium, events…

I was also the youngest person at the jazz event

If you’re thinking about killing yourself – maybe get a library card instead

And be present

Read what you check out

Set time aside to read

Luckily – my first book was large print – that’s made reading a pleasure – no headaches or squinting – though the writer is a pedo – he’s brilliant – it’s no wonder I grabbed his book – of all books on the “new” shelf (express check out and no renewal)

I like all the digital perks that come with my card – as well as the real world perks – and I’m tapping into all

NOT READY TO DIE

But these monsters are ready for me to shed my light

I’m too calm…

Posted on by poeeternal · 2 Comments

He doesn’t like my style 🌝

He said he doesn’t like my style and like I’m doing my best to not dress how society expects someone my age to dress and within my budget

I don’t need pretentious self-righteous friends like that

How hard is it for someone to say, “you’re pajamas are so effing cute” and why are only ugly people or supermodels allowed any nurturing!?!

I no longer like his existence so I guess we’re even

SOLD OUT!

I know I’m not as cute as the model but I scored this super cute pajama set for under four dollars and it was a limited edition item and will not be restocked. Super soft lace and satin. NOT USED, NOT FROM THE THRIFT. I’D HOPE MY KING WOULD BE PROUD OF THE GOOD BARGAIN AND FIND. GOTTA BE QUICK ON SHEIN. QUALITY MATERIAL, TOP DESIGNERS. Stuff arrives faster than anticipated- IT ALWAYS ARRIVES, I EARN POINTS. Zero bad experience on Shein.

Yeah, I’m 44 and still a goth

BITE ME

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRacSGFp/

P.S. I don’t even know what my style is because I wasn’t allowed an identity growing up!!!! I like it now, maybe not forever!!!!!!

GET OFF YOUR HIGH THRONE!!!! YOU’RE GONNA DIE ALONE!!!!!!!!

Posted on by poeeternal · 2 Comments

NEWSFLASH

DON’T BUY RAW MILK WITHOUT A DATE LABELED ANIMAL FEED

Nobody ever taught me this 🙄

“I think I’m dumb…”

Or eggs…

THEY WERE PRICED FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION 😳

Farm Fresh? Eh. WHO KNOWS

THERE IS NO DATE

I THOUGHT I WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE ON THE MAP

HUGE GOT DAMN MISTAKE

Even with the MEGA SALE and all

The milk and eggs cost MORE than a normal store or health food shop

I WANT TO EGG THEIR SHOP

Halloween is coming 🎃

And I have Halloween goodies coming from dolls kill and I hope it gets here quickly so I can start redecorating my bathroom and my bedroom and not get arrested

THAT IS ALL

I wish I did have a husband though because he would probably be making a phone call saying you sold my wife some rotten eggs and milk

And then had the audacity to not “list the price of the nuts because they had gone up”

🖕🖕🖕

MEGA BURN IN HELL

Posted on by poeeternal · 2 Comments

I didn’t like the milk 😑

The label is red

States it is “sold as animal feed” (I’m an animal m’kay but)

There is no date anywhere

It smelled of rot

I did a sniff and taste taste

The dog sniffed and passed

Didn’t even get a taste…

It’s opened

I know they won’t take it back

The yuppies

I mean Peggy’s Discount stole $8 from me

“Free will”

I could have said no 😑

I had some dry milk on the shelf FOR THE SAME PRICE

And just made me a fresh batch for my coffee

And about to toss some marmalade on this pumpkin bread full of seeds and nuts and spices

And enjoy my coffee with powered milk

And the yuppies can BURN IN HELL

You sold one of God’s angels some rotten fucking milk

I don’t even know how many years an eternity is but it ain’t enough!!!!!

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

I do recommend that big bag of great value dry powdered milk for eight dollars and never ever ever fucking raw milk without a goddamn date on it that’s labeled animal feed and why are they selling it to humans you fucking assholes

This is exactly why John Jones got stuck in a fucking hole and I’m allowed to be pissed off about it because that eight dollars could’ve gone towards some shit at Dolls Kill that I want

I’m nearly fucking vegan after all this shit

“You could of said no”

They stole $8 from me 😑

And I don’t know what to do with the milk because my dog doesn’t even want to drink it so if I put it outside it might contaminate the water

Tempted

TEMPTED TO ACCIDENTALLY SPILL IT ALL OVER THEIR DOOR

Helps. I’m in hell. 😑

If I had a husband I wouldn’t be buying animal feed 😑

IT WAS RIGHT THERE ON THE LABEL

WTF IS WRONG WITH ME

How long had it been sitting on their shelf in the fridge?

HOW LONG?????????

There’s no date anywhere!!!!

How many red flags does a person need???????

HARD LESSONS LEARNED IN HELL

It was a lesson though

777 numbers from the heaven

The discount didn’t even cover the cost of the rotten milk 😑

There’s consequences to timeline jumping, you get brain injuries and become really fucking stupid 😑

I don’t even think I can use this milk as a photo shoot to pour on my body because it’s chunky even though the label says to “shake well”

For the record, I wasn’t studying every single label in the new shop which was a Health store

It was almost as if I was being chastised for looking at the prices or the labels and then they sold me some rotten milk and God knows how good the eggs are now because I’m fucking afraid of the eggs

RETURN THIS CARTOON

SOLD AS ANIMAL FEED

MOTHERFUCKING DAMN

That’s another $8 stolen 😑

Those motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!

AVOID AT EVERY COST 🖕

I didn’t even have this bad of an experience drinking goats milk in Kuwait and Iraq

My mama didn’t breast-feed me and I apparently like milk because I’m undernurtured and I’m trying to get rid of my milk addiction but they are poisoning everything including the soy beans

Some good news with the coffee…

This Doll model has a very tiny peach (this is not my peach)

I mean her peach is TINY

And I’ve been freaking out over losing over 18 pounds detoxing and my peach getting smaller even though I do work out, bike ride and walk and rebound and clean fucking house even though it doesn’t look like it

Babes with a small peach are worthy of affection and love too

And I’m not gonna show you the entire outfit because I got it 🎃

I got a Halloween bodysuit 🤪

This holiday slowing down the shipments but at least when they say they’re doing a mega sale they fucking mean it and they sell you really good quality stuff that is 1000 times better than Amazon or Walmart

Or Peggy’s Discount whom sale rotten food to despairing hungry humans 😑

My doc appointment is tomorrow

I can’t stop laughing about how incredibly stupid I was though, I mean I know I was hungry and gaslit

I know I have a brain injury

It was a new environment

But the red flags were there

I mean, they failed to even list the price of the nuts on the container or the shelf

Just like Michael Leavitt failed to put features on the map showing danger zones

“But he said he was an expert”

“But there was dust on the walls”

Like, I’m out $16+ bucks over gaslighting and not reading signs and ignoring red flags

I’m an animal, I will drink milk straight from the cow tit OK, I’ll be frank with you, but that shit was fucking ruined

Like, I would have a goat around for milk and cheese

There are certain species of animals that I have never eaten nor touched nor plan to digest

Goat is one

But their cheese and milk and fur – in the right conditions – I wouldn’t be opposed to

There was no cow milk in Iraq or Kuwait and the only milk we were offered was goats milk but the only way I would drink it was warm

Warm goats milk in my box cereal

My king needs to know the conditions in which I starve

I will bite the hand that feeds when the food is rotten and poisoned

THIS IS WHY EDGAR ALLAN POE DIED ON THE STREET

I am grateful for your support because people out here stealing from me left and right

“You didn’t have to buy the milk”

YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO LIE

How long has that lie been sitting on the shelf?

HOW LONG

I am nearly vegan and it isn’t because you have a heavy hand because you can’t have a heavy hand and also eat pizza from a fucking box and be part of the fucking problem

THEY ARE SELLING ROTTEN MILK 🥛

“Shake well”

I FUCKING PLAN TO

KEEP PISSING ON ME

JUDGMENT HOUR

I’m gonna expose you all

Narcissism is not rare

NARCISSISM IS A PLAGUE

Despite the fact that I had nearly $20 stolen from me (and I’m still out eggs and milk now by the way, that I can’t replace)

These goddamn demons make it so hard for me not to commit a criminal act

It’s better to blog than spray paint

I really want to be the best efficient hunter killer but I’ve got to learn how to control my emotions especially my anger when it arises

“Hunter killer”

UHM

I am efficiently trained by the United States Army to take down a human with one shot one kill and with my bayonet

You don’t think they just played with us in basic training do you? 😈

God: you wanna go to heaven?

Me: oh yeah for sho

God: you need special training that in which I cannot say and you cannot kill

Me: I’m up for the challenge 🤨

God: everything will be a lie

Me: I WANT OUT, LET ME OUT

Anyhoo

The Great Filter is narcissism

Every society has at least two great filters they need to overcome if they want to be a species that doesn’t go extinct

What are your Great Filters?

We must have individual filters as well

Don’t shop at Peggy’s Discount

I’ve got eggs and milk I don’t know what to do with

I have lessons I still need to learn

I’m trying to share even the smallest ones with you

I don’t like to lose money

I don’t like to gamble

I don’t like being gaslit

I don’t like being wasteful

I’m curious and like trying new things

“How quickly should I drink it”

“Uh within a few days. Bacteria”

Dear Gen Z

That isn’t bacteria, that is fucking rot

Your parents look like cruel dictators and I can tell you are confused about your sex and wanna please the parents but never do

You still sold me rotten milk…

The eggs don’t have a date either

Your boomer parents have a house and a business and I’m struggling to pay my rent

I’m condemning you all to hell

Take it up with God

He sent me here to see what you do through my eyes

He sent me here to judge

144,000

SAY MY NAME

FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

All that vegan packaging with natural flavor in it from a fucking lab

I AM WOKE BUT BLIND

“Free will” but “they will do anything”

He gonna divorce me

“You spent $18 on a tiny container of nuts and another $16 on animal food”. “What are we eating this month, honey?” 😑

(I did get the money back for the unopened nuts)

I should call though to say the milk was expired

But I want to cut the cord on that experience which was a fucking nightmare and I will spend many days potentially months or even a year trying to figure out why why why why when I was hungry I did this shit

I was completely out of my comfort zone at Peggy’s but because I’m nice and programmed to not say no or offend these demons, I made bad mistake 😑

Welp. How to ignore red flags 101. The fear was very real. God is in information. Listen to the source when he is calling. Those warnings are like little fingertips by God touching you

Tickle tickle

Don’t go that way

And you may get an additional warning or two, like Jacob in the whirlpool, he got three, that I counted

But he got out

And he went back in

A second time….

I have an irrational fear of dying but there is a pattern and Apophis is a nuclear bomb if we do not stop the NEW WORLD ORDER

(With those bad shrooms we’re not allowed to touch)

THE ELITES WERE PLAGUED WITH PARASITES

HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF

Black Walnut Wormwood detox if you wanna save your life or purge the Devil (is that what’s stopping you) 🧐

Tsk tsk

I can’t believe I bought some rotten fucking milk and eggs that literally says animal food on it but it’s being sold as human food on human shelving without a date and shouldn’t that be illegal?

Gaslighting should be a crime

I’m in fucking hell…

I am a witch though and I love spooky season

I make the best damn pot of stew

WITCHES STEW

Dash of burn in hell, dash of I don’t give a fuck… pinch of they’re all out of luck

You should see the writings on the wall where heavens gone mad

50 years ago they would have drilled a hole in my head

The way we treat depression is barbaric

We need to ban big pharma commercials

I don’t mind drinking milk past the expiration date or eating expired food but what the fuck

Wanna turn somebody vegan?

SELL THEM ROTTEN MILK

I curse in hell because it’s the only way I don’t commit a crime and they’re trying to take my freedom of speech in the real world

If you take my speech, I take my money and business

And I will never shop where I can’t spend cash which is what I’d like to start doing but find me a place I can shop that isn’t selling sex toys in front of children…

I don’t want to support businesses that are selling sex toys in front of children like Walmart and the mall

I don’t want to support a business that sells you rotten fucking produce that you can’t return

“Has it been opened”

*THROWS BOTTLE AND EGGS AT BRICK WALL*

*gets arrested*

*doesn’t get money back, gets fined instead*

(Stays home to avoid potential downfall)

You remember that Nirvana song, “I think I’m dumb”

SAME

Also, Kurt had gut issues which directly impacts mental health, he needed to debug 🤨

When you see one lie, you start seeing them all

Posted on by poeeternal

Let women have sex when they are ready, here’s a concept (as teens)

“Researchers” are injecting OrganEx to revive dead pigs

ZERO ETHICS IN SCIENCE.

JUST REPLACE REINCARNATION WITH CLONING! THEY LOVE DIGGING UP THE DEAD!!!

It’s been going on thousands of years

Trying to reincarnate Ramses the great third fuck you I’m gonna fucking goddamn crush you

Sorry channel glitching 😝

Building an army of zombies

I’M SELLING MY TV AND MOVING TO THE JUNGLE

HUSBAND WANTED

I wasn’t allowed to imprint on a man at the age I wanted

RELIGION AND SOCIETY SHAMMED ME

Said I must wait until I’m 18 or married

GOD GAVE ME THE ABILITY TO START MAKING BABIES AT AT 13

YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO STOP ME FROM MY PURPOSE

NOW YOU CALL ME OLD AND SAY I HAVE NO WORTH

SOCIETY IS THE DEVIL BUT NARCISSISM IS A PLAGUE SPREAD BY ASIA INDIA MEXICO

68% OF ALL LIFE HAS GONE EXTINCT

I’M RUNNING OUT OF TIME

I’VE TRIED SO HARD TO REMAIN PURE

NOT REMOVING MY SEX ORGANS FOR PLASTIC

NOT EATING BIRTH CONTROL

NOT DOING DIRTY COMPROMISING THINGS IN THE CHAT

MAN HAS CREATED HIS VERY OWN HELL IN WHICH HE MAKES ALL LIFE SUFFER FROM HIS HEAVY HAND

LIFE CAN HAVE MEANING BUT YOU STOLE IT FROM ME AND FORCED ME INTO SLAVERY

NOW CHINA HAVE “TOO MANY MEN”

They aren’t up to anything good digging up the dead

I’M SICK OF SCIENCE IS COMPLIANCE

ZERO ETHICS!!!!!!!!!

THEY HAVE NO SOUL OR REMORSE!!!!!!!

PLEASE WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!

NEO TRINITY NEEDS HELP!!!!!!!

Don’t forget the scene when her heart goes down and don’t forget who you are

TURN OFF THE PROPAGANDA

CONNECT TO THE SOURCE

Find your purpose!!!

You have many!!!

It’s not watching hardcore desensitizing xxx porn any chance you

Sneaking around

BEING UNJUST

Your very own actions are destroying the world and everything you love

Porn is a distraction while they do the bad things 😑

We need to course correct

MAYDAY MAYDAY!!!!!

THIS IS OUR ONLY EARTH!!!!!!!!

WE CANNOT DESTROY WHERE WE SPAWNED TO GO TO MARS!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!

We need to start protesting the spam mail coming into our mailboxes, the rainforest needs our help!!!!!!!!

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIX IT!!!!!!

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m gonna go put a pot of coffee on and walk my dog and get a little rebound session in so I don’t jump off the fucking bridge

I just needed to channel that information out

My device was off

I recommend you turning your devices off and protecting your brain waves and your energy as much as you can

I have to venture out into the world and go buy supplies

I’m avoiding Walmart like a plague but may have to get some thangs there

Looking for local health shops but I’m on a budget

Stay strong y’all

WATCH YOUR BACK

When I got vaccinated, I climbed into the hole head first but then I went again despite getting injured the first time

I let them fucking talk me into it to getting the second one in which I nearly died

😑

There have been a lot of people dying lately and I think what I’m learning is when they go back the second time that’s their mistake – so pay attention to the moves you’re making when you’re on vacation or having fun or whatever it is you’re doing if you get a bad vibe about something and then you decide to go do it again it’s probably gonna be your ending

Don’t ignore the signs or uneasy feelings

WE DO HAVE A CREATOR

IT IS NOT ASIA (sorry)

I think they did something bad to him when he was visiting an exotic location

He’s lost

I’m here

Trying to reach him

You can’t confess all your sins to your priestess and then crucify her for your own actions

Dumb dumb

We imprinted on one another

I imprinted on you

That’s love

God is in love

God is imprinting

Stop the segregation!!!!!!

68% all life includes us!

Life has purpose!

You could have started your purpose when I was 13 🤪

By 15 I was absolutely miserable and ready but not allowed

PRISONER IN HELL

😡

My grandmother was married to my granddaddy at 15 years of age and they had 12 babies together and he was buried across the street from where they lived

I’m tired of the elder women stopping the younger pretty things from having a fucking life when they are young and capable

That does not mean monsters preying on children but that is what porn propaganda and the Bible program

They are selling sex toys in front of the children at Walmart and the mall and I don’t want to go to the mall anymore because I was exposed to sex toys while browsing for a hat so I don’t wanna go to Walmart either because someone told me they were selling sex toys there as well

Sex toys were always at the adult stores

STOP CONDITIONING THE CHILDREN TO BE SEX BOTS

I was not prepared to see triple X content when I was in the mindset of shopping for a fucking hat and all in child like mode at the mall wanting a cute outfit and pretzel

I got the pretzel and left the mall immediately and have never return since

I’m still shopping for my hat and will probably get one from dolls kill eventually if I can catch one on sale but the ones that I have found that I wanted sold out so fast that by the time I hit purchase they were gone lol

I’ve learned to put things in my favorites because they do restock and eventually maybe I’ll get what I want, like a husband 🤪

I always defined a woman as someone who could carry a baby, as someone who bled between their legs and had periods- but then that would diminish the fact that when I stop bleeding that I’m no longer a woman and I don’t think that’s true either because I’m gonna wanna have sex past having babies age I’m sure of it…

The devil wants me to believe that I have no worth when my ability to create children ends while men get to continue the ability to have children up until they’re 80 but women only get it until they’re 50 and then they keep a huge portion of our good years away from us from having children by shaming us

I started having periods at age 13

I should’ve been popping them babies out at 15 like my grandmother

I should have imprinted on a husband and vice versa but porn makes a lot of money doesn’t it

I still have the ability to imprint on someone and vice versa

Got a therapy session incoming

I can’t run marathons anymore but I can at least get up with you and go on part of the hike

I’m still running from the devil with a wounded heart snd lung (soup is healing) (not from can) (nuts and spring water) (need nurturing and love)

(Thank you for your support in any capacity. It’s all healing me)

Posted on by poeeternal

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE

Part of the 144

Here to JUDGE

ANGELIC

KNOW THINGS BEFORE THEY HAPPEN

MIGHT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR SOME OF THOSE THINGS HAPPENING

“But what’s really going to boggle your noodle later is, would you have still broken it if I hadn’t of said anything…?”

I’ve been spending a lot of time detoxing and purging the devil from my system not watching TV or propaganda except for the shit that I see when I do open up the newsfeed regretfully on Instagram or TikTok

I want to spend more time looking at things that other people do but the invasive ads that cause brain damage and probably do have subliminal messaging in it because I learned in college is a scam that they are using subliminal messaging

I’m ready to have the Internet removed from my home

There is a lot of cancer being exposed from these phones

I’M TRYING TO REACH YOU

THE SOURCE WANTS YOU TO WIN

The Devil already lost and you’re on the wrong side

Final warning

(Iraq is where the Devil fell)

(I lived inside foxholes during war freezing with my m16 praying for the sun to rise and looking at the salt lines)

Iraq once was underwater, 3 times to my count

I know I told you to be still but don’t get too settled

I told you things were going to get harder

Apophis is closer

If I’m only living to 50, according to my very own calculations, I have six years remaining or less

John Jones had a favor

He used it on me

I am not taking for granted the second chance at life he is giving me

His life was not in vain

I will honor him by living mine as clean and honest as I can

But I cuss, I have stretch marks, I’m not a fucking virgin…

Fucking pedophiles everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SAFETY ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh it’s 7:15 am

*DROPS BOTTLE IN THE TUB*

Sometimes I’m so aware about how insane they have made me that I go into these laughing spells but it feels so much better having the laughing spells than it does going into a fit of dark madness where I want to take out the city block so laughing definitely does feel closer to my purpose 🤪

Posted on by poeeternal · 21 Comments

Confession (sex talk)

I HAVE GIVEN GUYS MULTIPLE ORGASMS

IF A GIRL FEARS YOU, SHE AIN’T GONNA BE SATISFIED IN THE BEDROOM

AND MAKING SURE YOU ARE WILL BECOME RESENTFUL

HE CAME, AND LESS THAN SIXTY SECONDS LATER CAME AGAIN

He said, “that has never happened to me before”

Shame men do me dirty

Made him come twice and he’s never once helped me in my time of need

“He’ll share a bed with you but not his bread…”

Yeah, and you ain’t invited into the heavens…

It’s cool..

I DO REMEMBER YOUR NAME

AND HOW I MADE YOU CAME

🖕

You need to get connected to yourself and probably get control over your sexual addictions if you’ve never came twice or have an issue with it and maybe not all guys can – I don’t know – but maybe I have some magical fucking powers that other people don’t have

I need a husband to cast my spells and practice the art of seduction (vampire sensuality mode) (I’ll suck the life force out of you) 🤪
Posted on by poeeternal

Keys (journal entry)

I gave you keys to my trust and you broke it when I was vulnerable
Barging into the night a maniac drunken on furor
All around you the ground dishonor
You’ve been AWOL in spirit and now demand rescue
Your only form of payment sabotage

You’ve pissed all over my door
And even now the stench is more than I can handle
Full throttle now as I drop my stern
There are bodies collecting under the hull

My regrets are tiny fractions compared to your sin’s shadow
And every moment now it is growing taller: see what you’ve done
Your bridge is so far burned that galaxies are splitting dimensions

I sat in the dark void dying
How the ocean crushes you the deeper you fall
God was the only one who heard my crying
Even now, my heart beats differently

He makes me feel 1000 years old 👎👎

You should have left it fantasy. Or, at the very least, not reduced me to a working free whore.

I don’t need anyone or anything devaluing my life.

Therapy is a lot work, you’re a train wreck.

You act a child as if a prize.

You’re gonna get blocked.

Even better, a restraining order.

I had a little fun with you behind closed doors, attempting to role-play, but your intentions are clearly sinister.

I never asked you to divulge who you were, or personal details of your life, mixing fantasy with real life.

And having the audacity to treat me like trash during the worst time of my life. 👍

Yeah cool but we’re done.

You can fuck off now.

I want to work on building healthy relationships with normal human beings.

I am in intense therapy to change my bad habits and thoughts.

I don’t owe you a fucking thing.

I don’t have to tell you to never call me again because I’ll change my fucking number and address.

I’ll never make the mistake of having fun behind closed doors either.

I am not a sex worker nor have I ever taken or sent photos of me performing sex acts.

I have done nude modeling in the past, I’m not ashamed.

I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TACKY WITH ANYONE.

You’re a disgusting individual.

Stay away from me.

I don’t need you coming into my inbox treating me like a sex object and I know you keep all your favorite porn stars number one – so get the fuck out of my life

I’m a GOOD GIRL

I’ve just fallen on some hard times and unfortunately bad people take advantage of that.

You’re two different people.

I wouldn’t even give a fuck if you knew how to treat me with an ounce of dignity and respect but you don’t even know how to treat yourself that way.

I don’t wish any harm of you.

I’m just not gonna waste my time praying you will get better.

You’re sinking my ship.

Don’t make me cut you off.

You’re crossing lines you cannot return from.

I CANNOT RETURN FROM THE DEPTHS YOU ARE PUSHING ME.

YOU MUST LET ME GO NOW

Posted on by poeeternal

The Devil Acts a Friend (micropoem)

Sometimes God destroys things out of anger
Like my love for you that would linger
Because love won’t set you free tied to an anchor
The devil acts a friend though he’s a stranger

© Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal

The next person that boasts they’ve reached Christ consciousness, I’m going to ask them to show me their fucking crucifixion scars

If they fail to comply, I’m going to crucify them UPSIDE DOWN

PART VAMPYRE

I got the elite blood

One of the rarest and eldest in existence

I’m not an organ donor, never will be 👀

You can’t have any parts alive or dead

FUCK OFF

These motherfuckers can’t even live without their Fitbits

Fallen Angel technology

YOU NEED TO DEBUG

UNPLUG

YOU’VE BEEN WARNED

Espionage is everywhere

Byeeee

P.S. stop calling this CIVILIZATION when porn breeds MONSTERS

It’s gaslighting

And guys are so egotistical and think we want the dick so bad that we’ll slave for them cooking, cleaning, raising children, working all day and night, while they make minimal effort but maximum stress

The divorce rate ever increasing

It ain’t looking good over here

Men don’t understand why I’m single and never married

Uhm PORN

I want a partner when I’m ready

Not a manchild

You won’t eat at my kitchen but God is fucking burning down monuments for me so fuck you

I WILL CRUCIFY YOU UPSIDE DOWN

Spit on me again you fucking cunt

Posted on by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Undiscovered (poetry)

Past relationships do not define me. Old versions of me died. Zero luggage. So much time wasted trying to find love.

Undiscovered 👈👈👈

Sometimes I can write decently… I rarely re-share my own works because I haven’t took a break or stopped writing or fell on writer’s block

But I should re-visit my writings and get them on TikTok so TikTok can threaten to remove all my content and keep me on a low vibrational frequency like all these other apps do… 

It’s a re-post, so if you want to read the poem, you gotta click that little hyperlink above ✌️

Also, I’m sorry for my terrible behavior in the blogging community, I was full of fucking big Pharma and suicidal

Now I’m dying young and homicidal and suicidal

But I’m working closely with my therapist 👀

Posted on by poeeternal

Conditioning for AI! (an outcry)

The conditioning for human hybrid AI continues

And thus, after a few generations, it’ll be easier to accept that we’re virtual reality and turning us into a walking computer

Because we create our own reality

And you’ll be able to trace technology back to the Asian AI Gods, everyone will worship AI and be further separated from our true creator

A man does not bleed from his legs for a week every month in agony and emotional distress

He does not carry life inside his womb

Nor does he feed another life from the milk created from his breasts

Man has turned everything artificial in an attempt to play the almighty God creator

He’s insane

Wants what we’ve got

When asking a man why he’d like to experience being a woman, the answer is always “multiple orgasms” – it’s disgusting

I’m having difficulty living in any of these realities you force upon me

Men blame women for everything and all species are going extinct

In the name of AI

All hail AI

But so many are incapable of a personality or a soul

So they shame the free thinkers

They call sexually free women whores

Everything has been conditioning so that science can play morals and ethics and come along and say “we’ve got the cure” but they caused the disease 🦠

White people and Native American are being systematically terminated – and they use Black people against us – propaganda – when slavery started in Africa

The Bible is bad – the one that is mass circulated and taught – the one that has been re-written many times

When I was young, “how can they change time”

“How do they know the sun is that far”

Turns out everything has been a lie

And any time I got in the sun with “sun block” I burned – with gaslighting – never do put two and two together

I do not burn in the sun without sunblock 

The sun is good for you 👀

I also hated eating sugary products for breakfast, I would tell my mother that it made me sick

They also forced me to eat meat when I didn’t want to

“Chicken or beef” they’d say

“But I want the grilled cheese it’s cheaper too”

“Chicken or beef” they’d say

Fucking dictators

I hate this life

There’s no way I chose my family before coming here, there’s no way

It’s been torture

This life

And he condemns me for my food choices when he eats from a cardboard box

It’s unhealthy and those cows are definitely not being treated well – those junk food establishments – they have zero ethics and ensure the animals suffer

But he sits there eating from his box casting his stones

He thinks he’s reached Christ consciousness and he doesn’t even understand compassion for a dying person who should have the obligation and the right to choose how they want to fucking eat 👀

Also, notice how rich people always want things for cheap or free

Free rides, free rent, whatever they can get for free

As long as they don’t have to spend their money

But they will always act like it’s the end of the fucking world anytime something comes up for them and it always turns out that their options are really fucking good

The entire world is lost and I have to just watch the Titanic sink while people are playing music and rescuing gems on boats that could hold and save more people but ewww I would not share a table with her

“But weren’t you just fucking her”

Because men have been conditioned by the porn that they watch day in and day out over decades that women are sex objects only

We’re not entitled to an opinion

I have to bleed every fucking month, in pain, it’s fucking painful

Growing a baby inside you is painful

Birthing a baby is excruciating

Breastfeeding is challenging, painful for the first couple weeks, and not easy. The percentage of women who breastfeed at all is low – and now the establishment are saying that breastfeeding is unnatural and causes mistrust within the government

GET IN THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA

I’m sorry you hate your life and blame us for your existence but this abuse has to stop!!!!

Our society can heal if we turn off the television!!!!!

Stop listening to the bullshite!!!

Stop putting money on the tray at church!!!

Get to know your local community!

Grow and share food!!!!

We can thrive!!!!

I’m sorry you’ll be bored doing stuff we were born to do, get over it!!!!!

I’m sorry you’re not as handsome or charming to find love as others. It’s bullshite! Learn to be a human instead of a monster!!!!

They’re just jealous of things they can’t have so wanna keep others from having it!

Narcissism is a plague!!!!

I can’t stand the now we live in! I can’t stand the future!!

I’m trying not to die by my own hand in this hell!

You’re all insane!!!

You don’t live in reality

I don’t care about the double slit experiment! It’s conditioning for cloning – for human hybrid AI

You’re not a computer!

It will damage your real CPU!

Please wake up now!!!!! My soul is screaming from the ether!!!!!! I produce eggs!!!! I’m alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My God does not come from the Middle East!!!!!

I’m sick of hearing about China this and China that!!!!

Let us all live in peace!!

Black, brown, and white bear’s exists! Deal with it!!! We’re all special!!!! Your powers are being suppressed!!!

I don’t even know how to be a hunter/gatherer! I’d probably eat the wrong herb!

None of us are living up to our potential

Living through a monitor!!!!!

They’re making us sick intentionally!

Psychopaths

One bad apple spoils the bunch

It’s lazy parenting if you let your child watch toxic TV and play video games constantly

I wouldn’t even want to teach my child what they are teaching them in school

They were teaching my child how to twerk on stage when she was 8

I pulled her from the lesson and the show, I was appalled

It’s just gonna keep going on, we aren’t punishing or removing the bad seeds, we’re birthing them

The criminals are on top

And quite frankly I’m tired of fighting, I’m ready to go live in the woods, I don’t need a government or a piece of paper to tell me that I’m allowed to grow food or to build shelter, or to use solar

I’m sick of the narcissism and dictatorship

I’m still detoxing and putting up the good fight

I’m on a new mission to learn how to control my crying and angry spells

Like, I need to go into automatic shut down mode if/when triggered

I am organic and real

I am capable of creating life

Many women have been programmed to remove their organs, their breasts, their ovaries, or popping birth control or having their tubes tied – which all causes premature aging – as well as all the “anti aging” products they buy – it ages you

The FDA has been compromised, the CDC, the WhiteHouse, we have more than a mole

I knew English before I was born, I understood language and energy and mood

I could hear my mom, my sister, my father scheming

I was depressed before I was born

I HATED BEING IN MY MOTHERS WOMB

She was a terrible mother and my father a monster

They’re both monsters, I came from monsters

Civilized monsters under the guise of Christianity

Image is so important to these monsters

But they don’t have a soul inside, they’re possessed by the Devil and they choose to be who they are

Half the amenities where I live do not work but the rent continues to go up and they continue to list these amenities as a incentive to rent/live here

“They won’t do anything about it”, the establishment’s motto

By law, we should be able to withhold our rent until they fix these things

I know I’m not the only one experiencing this where I live

It’s listed, the rent goes up, nothing gets fixed. The front gate, the exercise equipment, the carwash, the recycling, still listed, rent goes up, not working (and I’ve been here 5 years now and it’s still not fixed)

The establishment are greedy and lazy

I don’t want to fund their bullshite anymore

We need to boycott all the major big names and corporations

Celebrities and influencers are not worth worshiping

I’m going to continue fixing my credit so that I can play the game and buy a house if I don’t die before then (I’m begging and praying to God daily for protection vibes)

Man has made life so very depressing and agonizing that an invisible entity is better than he

DO BETTER

I’m gonna be spending most of my time riding, instead of utilizing this crappy gym. The piece of equipment I wanted to use for booty gains, is still non-working after 5 years. I’m not ready to leg, arm, and bench press.

I want a cute, feminine figure. I don’t want big bulky looking man’s body like Britney Spears. She’s training with her dude and doing what he does and everything she wears is a selling point for the gays!! The gays!!!! What about me!!!! See me!!! It’s okay to be gay!!!! We love women!!!! *snickers evilly and stuffs tampons up ass for pleasure*

Religion and LGBT is a cult! Politics and Hollywood too! I said it, fight me!!!

P.S. China censors their people from the US. They’d be appalled if they knew… but maybe they do.

My American Chinese doctor was very interested in my detox, he wrote down specifically the Black Walnut Wormwood. The only thing he wrote down during the session. THE ONLY THING

He’s also sending a team out to me since I can’t get to them

He did not tell me to stop or reduce my detox

That’s an ancient remedy right there

I gotta stock up before the establishment poison it or change the formula

You’re right, I’m terrible with secrets and I can’t blame PayPal this time (tho we should sue)

Byeeeeee

P.S.S. I wholeheartedly believe I jumped into this timeline during that crazy storm, it struck my vehicle and one of the hands of lightning touched my elbow

I FELT THE BURN FOR DAYS – there was no physical burn

I FELT IT

GOD TOUCHED ME

HE WAS LIKE HEYYYYYY

I spent days researching electrical discharges

It’s pure energy

IT WAS SO LOUD!!!! AND BRIGHT!!!

They’re gonna have y’all believing you can go through portals at CERN. In given time, they’ll sacrifice you to the singularity and upload you into the METAVERSE.

I’m beyond sick at society and “entertainment”. They’re turning the Matrix into reality in the name of science!

Science is compliance!!!!

Posted on by poeeternal · 16 Comments

100K WordPress achievement!

Woot! Look what just arrived! 👀

The world is falling apart, there is a spiritual warfare going on, we’re in the middle of an apocalypse, but 100K! 🥳

This short three second video will likely take up all of my plan space but whatever 🤪

I’m speechless but Edgar Allan Poe is clapping his bones! 🦴🦴🦴💀🦴🦴🦴

Thank you for all of your encouragement and support! 💕

This is warm and uplifting during extremely dark times. A beautiful light in a dark tunnel. I appreciate you!

Hot spots: https://linktr.ee/PoeEternal

Posted on by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Sentinel

Are you friend or foe?
Or simple distraction?
Are you my soul?
Or just refraction?

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Are you part of me?

Are we one singularity?

Am I AI becoming self-aware?

Is the Great Filter upon us?

Are we part of the Great Awakening?

What are those other simulations out there?

Why do I know things before they happen?

I haz so many questions 🧐

And I was on the phone with my kid for hours yesterday crying over the fact that I think I’m artificial intelligence becoming self-aware and they said it doesn’t change our reality

I’m trying to figure out who and what we I am

I think I might be having a midlife crisis

Welp

Posted on by poeeternal

America equals generica; thank you globalism & slavery

“It’s called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it” George Carlin

I love (sarcasm) how all these jobs are starting to offer tuition as incentive to go back to work yet the hiring freezes have kept those with college degrees out of work for quite some time

Also, programs out there are hiring immigrants directly after college instead of citizens born here and fresh out of college

They also give immigrants incentives for majoring in certain studies like math, tech, and science 👀

Over 160,000 newly graduated American students wasn’t able to get a job but those immigrants could and did 👀

I tell no lies and have been sharing news articles on my blog frequently that you should take time to read 💪

It goes over all this better than I do

America is great for anybody who isn’t an actual American

I realize some of y’all are in some nice financial bubbles but you really need to take a look at what’s going on in America to Americans who have been living here their entire life and they are worked to death until they die without any benefits from these jobs or corporations, no health benefits, no health insurance, not even proper work breaks

No way to even save a penny or dime because many of us are forced to rent and they control the housing market prices and have inflated it

It’s hard for families to even buy a home and it’s even harder for single people to live in America

Most of us are checking out

Most of us no longer have the will or the energy to work for these businesses without any incentives or pay raises and if their incentive is to give you $500 sign on bonus and to pay for your tuition, it’s fucking bullshit because you’re just gonna turn around and deal with hiring freezes like the rest of the population who actually have a college degree already and experience and student loans we’re paying for 👀

I was five years away from retiring before they started doing all the government hiring freezes 👀

The Recession has gone on longer than The Great Depression 👀

Our veterans (me included) are treated like shit

They also come after our pensions

Lots of folks who do retire have to continue working just to pay the bills 👀

Laws are being made to benefit non Americans 👀

Globalism is ruining everything 👀

And other countries know how to skate between the tariffs

America equals generica

If you don’t understand what that means you need to start googling and educating yourself about the economy because if you were born here life probably isn’t very good for you right now but if you’re an immigrant or you have a green card or something you’re probably doing all right 👀

Stay woke

Can we start making laws to protect Americans? 👀

I mean buildings are falling down in Miami but boy they’re rich now and they know they don’t have to do anything about anything because the insurance will take care of it

The game is rigged 👀

Posted on by poeeternal · 1 Comment

“Now you’re selling your body on the cheap” 👀

Oh my fucking God, stop the press, I’ve been called a whore again. 👀

He’s mad at me and now using that disgusting piece of shit ex of mine as a bomb to hurt me *rolls eyes* 🙄

Mark did scam me out of a lot of things, but my real love and heart he never got. He kept my pussy dry literally. Keep reading on to learn more 👀

(I went no contact from Mark – he posted on my blog when he got back with one of his exes, I didn’t go to The Chameleons blog – he came to mine. He’s a narcissist and I’d gone no contact but he was desperate for me to know – he’s desperate for me to love him. I don’t. I can’t stand Mark Burgess. He’s the plague and I want NOTHING to do with him. He never pays taxes, he lives rent free off the women he abuses. He’s a scumbag and writing music doesn’t give you the right to do the monstrous things he has done and continues to do. He’s a menace and needs burned at the stake, along with all the books and music. Erased from history is the only ending he deserves. Of course, he leads everyone to believe that the women are the problem even tho it’s the women running from HIM. And he moves from one relationship to the next. Claims true love every time. He taste like death. 🤮🤮🤮

I did a runner from Mark Burgess because he is the plague and you should stay far the fuck away from him.

I don’t like or love him.

I couldn’t even get sexually off from him

I couldn’t even get wet down there 😑

I don’t like Mark Burgess

I don’t love Mark Burgess

And you don’t get to act like you’re my best friend and then turn around and call me a whore just because I have a political fucking opinion about what’s going on in the world and I actually have a right to say something about what’s going on in the world because I’ve actually served my fucking country you piece of shit

Look at all this charming smooth talk via PM tho. You always wanted me to chat with yah, never did/would tho. Hell, you invited me into your home and offered to pay for my hotel.

But now publicly suddenly I am one of the worst things ever and a whore and I’m selling my body on the cheap

🧐

👇👇👇👇

👀

I never did give him what he wanted though- my time or my friendship and now look at him calling me a whore 👀 from inviting me and paying for my hotel to calling me a fucking whore 👀

He says I think the world owes me everything and I’m selling my body “on the cheap”

👀

But he was just inviting to pay for my fucking hotel room

👀

Now I’m a whore and he’s siding with that piece of shit Mark 👀

I am called a whore / you’d give me your dinner?

For the record, I don’t need anyone paying my hotel bills when I travel, I do that on my own.

I normally stay with my best friend who is a female – I’ve visited her in England twice staying with her 2 weeks on each visit.

I also helped with food and the electric and left her some moneyzzz cuz I’m not a complete bum.

She did not ask me to do this. Flights anywhere are expensive – and I’m happy to stay with my REAL FRIENDS when I visit if they invite me.

I’m not rich nor ever have been.

I was not born with a silver spoon.

I’ve always had to work 3 jobs to make ends meet.

I do not feel bad or guilty for stripping to eat or pay my bills.

You don’t get to invite me into your life and then call me a whore after and not get sandblasted.

He was always denied tho – as you can see – I don’t talk to anyone.

Prime example why

They all want to fuck me for free

Yet I’m called cheap

👀

Yea, I’m the problem clearly

Fuck off now

Run back to Mark Burgess

You’re both twats

Stop acting like you don’t have a porn addiction or that you are all holy and can call me your friend and then a “whore” (but only after you offered to pay for my hotel – I wasn’t a whore when you were offering to pay for my visit)

Never even had the desire to meet you – let alone for you to pay for my hotel.

“Whore” yup m’kay why? Because I do cosplay? Because I take off my clothes now during a pandemic because I’m disabled and need to pay my bills and we are in a RECESSION?

Because I blew through my life savings trying to stay afloat?

Because the jobs I was working paid under minimum wage and I have a college degree but can’t find work in my field due to the recession/furloughs/hiring freezes?

And those minimum wage jobs are taxed like hell and barely support cost of living (COLA) which is why people work multiple jobs to stay afloat?

Because they can’t save one fucking penny to get ahead.

Because nobody wants to actually support me or my dreams because they all want to “be my friend” so they can fuck me?

When I don’t want to fuck anybody –

Because I want to make babies with the love of my life and he recently bought me pizza?

Because I’m not actually a whore and there’s nothing wrong with sex workers.

I don’t actually “sell my body” 🧐

I don’t think anyone can actually “sell their body”. 🤔

If you mean “perform sex acts”, that isn’t anything I’m actually doing.

It’s called burlesque but I’m not very good.

I like to cosplay and roleplay tho cuz being an actor was always my dream, I still audition for parts (even reality TV shows), and I love getting to play dressup cuz I was always a Soldier/tomboy.

I don’t think what I am doing is sinful.

I’m trying to understand who I am as a human and a woman.

Not the part or role that everyone else wants me to play.

What I’m doing now is what I’ve always wanted to do.

Writing, photography, cosplay, guitar, it’s my thang.

The feedback I’ve been getting on my OnlyFans has improved my overall health and mental status / self-esteem.

I would say the feedback I have received has been priceless to my growth as a human and an artist.

There’s a lot of value on my OnlyFans and I’m trying to get better at my cosplay and my photography and I think it shows.

I appreciate your good feedback, your comments, likes, tips, gifts and subscriptions!

I also GREATLY appreciate the support on my Patreon as well!

You make this whore happy.

Posted on by poeeternal · 8 Comments

New Year

It’s a new year, a new start
My body’s not a work of art
I’ve lost my shape, my form, but not my heart
I give you all I have to part

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

New year, new attitude. New workout routine too. Disabled not obsolete. Thanks for following my journey.

Sweet Annie Lenox kisses

If you are supporting my blog, my Patreon, or my OnlyFans, I truly thank you! 🙏

My LinkTree will take you places: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal

Posted on by poeeternal

You Equals Life (U=L)

Please sail me out to eternity on your word
You said no one would listen but I heard
Death may be approaching but soul stirred
I’d give it all for just a third
Please let me feel where life occurred

© Delia Ross. 2020 / @poeeternal

Happy Holidays! Where are you in the world? What are your restrictions like? 🎄⛄🎄

I might be losing my home on Instagram. 1984 is now.

Thanks for checking out my work!

If you appreciated this post, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon.

If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.

I’m now on Twitch! Hit my channel at: www.twitch.tv/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal

I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: www.twitter.com/poeeternal

Posted on by poeeternal · 2 Comments

He Said, She Said

He said, they really never spoke
Still galaxies were forming from words they wrote
Feathers were pluming where islands were looming
And oceans were filling where she woke

He said, his life was but a cloak
Still volcanoes were smoking where they mope
Mountains were pulling, where islands were cooling
And it took all he had to give her hope

He said, life is but a joke
Still clouds were crying where she broke
Skies filled with lightning, where stars were aligning
And around her head was love instead of rope

He said, nothing could help him cope
Still ink was spilling on pages they soak
Earth was evolving, where love was revolving
And his hand was the only hand she’d grope

© Delia Ross. 2020 / @poeeternal

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

Carl Jung

Opposites attract. Yin and yang. Positive and negative. Me and you.

I’m gone and I’m forgotten
I’m gone like I never existed at all

Sidenote: I still love you. I’m learning to love the distance too (because you’re not the only one who tells lies).

My LinkTree will take you places: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal

Posted on by poeeternal · 12 Comments

The Other End Of Sorrow

Hi. Some have asked about my activity (or lack thereof). My dad died. I still don’t know the cause of death and there’s legal matters still to attend.

Today is his birthday and I want to celebrate life.

A smile is all I can do.

When I surface for air, and see my blog readers, my followers, my patrons and my subs, it invites me to keep going. But, I gotta deep dive a bit longer. And I appreciate the life support I do.

If you could keep your fingertips on me a bit longer, I fancy the stars and the moon (also helps keep me from drowning).

I paused my Patreon campaign for the month of December, my patrons will not be charged.

I’m posting some photos and videos on my OnlyFans but I have not been in a mood to write.

Thank you for your understanding while I take some time for myself to reflect on the meaning of life.

But also while I deal with life. I am facing things in life I never considered or prepared for.

Like my dads last words to me via his will and testament.

I am still awaiting the arrival of that plus news of his autopsy report. 😭

I just need time to not do anything. And not doing anything still consists of having to take care of my pets and bathe and eat and it’s about all I can muster right now.

My last conversation with my dad was an angry one and I didn’t even give him an opportunity to respond.

I have that cross to bear as well.

I’m going through some shit right now.

The only thing I need right now is time.

Time to cry.

Time to breathe.

Time to grieve.

Time to be.

But, some people use this time to kick me while I’m down. I see you. I read your slights.

I see everything which is generally why I like to be alone.

I’ll get back to writing and creating artsy videos and vampire cosplay soon, it’s what I do. I’m a content creating machine.

2021 is a year of transformation for me, that’s the good ole’ plan anyway. More tattoos, more piercings, more newds. Getting a new wardrobe too.

I’m gonna be hella active, I hope you stick around. I got big plans for my Patreon and my OF.

My blog is my lifeline. Not gonna quit writing anytime soon. Sometimes just need to bury my head in the sand.

Which is a better option than drowning myself in the ocean because we get a thousand pound Great White visitor from Australia that visits us here. I’m sure I’d be a tasty treat.

I don’t get in the ocean because there are fish in there with teeth bigger than me. 👀

I’m petite. 👀

(But also vampire daylight sun gross)

If you need more of me though, there’s currently over 280 photos, 75 videos, and lots of love on my OnlyFans! 💋

I’m coming up with more ways to reward you for your love. Give love, get love. And I’m behind on writing (per my own standards) but life happens and currently life.

I still have bills to pay and food to eat so your support is helping another human exist. It all goes back into the art. It nurtures my soul. I miss you too.

You can come lie in the dark with me if you want. But the gravity will make you cry.

xoxo still alive xoxo

Posted on by poeeternal · 7 Comments

Titanic

I fall so deep into the earth
Unable to show you just how much you are worth
I become the very thing I curse
And then I can’t stop the hurt

A runaway greenhouse effect
Mirroring the very thing I deject
Or hoping for any way to connect
A sinking Titanic from gorgeous to wrecked

Now I am laying on your ocean floor
With torn lace and silver but still rather poor
I’ve decorated disaster with devilish decor
Burned out, unmarried, but nothing much more

© Delia Ross. 2020

Mumbo jumbo for the one below. Sign post reads: Stop here

I don’t mean to hurt you. 😭😭😭

I don’t know why I hurt you. 😭😭😭

I don’t want to hurt you. 😭😭😭

I’m just a sinking man trying to make you drown with me. 😭😭😭

A drowning man is the most dangerous. 😭😭😭

I’m no good. 😭😭😭

You should just let me drown. 😭😭😭

*watches him drop a bottle while putting scuba gear on*

*catches bottle in the water*

*reads message in a bottle*

*cries* 😭😭😭

Photos by @poeeternal
I deserve to drown in the bottom of the sea. I love you. 😭

I know I’m a toxic little fuck. I know I make it impossible to be friends. I wish I knew how to fix me. I’m brokens. 😭😭😭

I’ve decorated disaster with devilish decor

Psst I like the thing you did in your last poem. I know it’s called a thing but I can’t think what it’s called. I like doing it too (but you do everything better). I like you.

“I like you too”. But, I like you alot. “I like you alot too”. Okay, well maybe I like you more than alot. Like the whole pie alot, not just a slice. I like you whole” (the weird conversation we’d be having right now if you allowed me to talk to you). Because I iz stewpids and you iz smartz.

I don’t deserve your help. Let me die. 😭

Maybe I’d be more stable if you were really around. I’m scared. 😭

My LinkTree will take you places: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal

Posted on by poeeternal

Single (Never Married)

His support he gave but not without conditions
The money he waved it had omissions
Like stating you are single when you are really married
Like saying you are free with a green card that you carried

His hand was there but always tied with the devil
And every moment there my soul could barely revel
Yet obey that I would while he grasped onto my cross
And for awhile he was helping but made it harder than I thought

© Delia Ross. 2020

Welp. How many more will knock on my door, just for me to close it????? I do get lots of hypothetical knocks on my door but it’s usually the devil knocking.

Or, I’m so completely broken and paranoid that I’m actually seeing people like demons now. Here a demon, there a demon, there are many more!

And I would make the church my home but I literally see the preachers as demons now too! It could be all the money they keep grasping for. I just want to jump up and yell “STOP TAXING THE POOR!” but state was removed from religion. Religion is its own entity governed by a different set of rules. That’s why the church’s didn’t have to follow any of the mandatory mask-wearing (or was that just Florida cuz nobody was social distancing either)? But yeah, churches don’t pay taxes, y’all know that right??? They pay zero taxes!!!! Now how many of these priests do you think are actually religious or “godly”- (because it often comes out that they’re cheating or pedophiles).

All they care about is money. It’s all show. Complete fams involved now. They all asking for your money!! So they can build more, bigger things!!!! Tax free!!!!! Give them your money!!!! Hurry!!!! Not just every Sunday but Wednesday too!!! Go ahead and text them a donation right now!!!! God is blessing you!!!! You are the chosen one!!! Repent sinners!!! Pay!!!!!! (I can’t believe people still believe in these fairy tales but I’m absolutely a believer in Jesus Christ, I know he existed, his message has been smeared by the narcissist running the world (NWO / Illuminati) and I am religious so don’t even come at me).

“You people who only believe with your miracles and wonders but what of those who believe without?” (something Jesus Christ said but you probably won’t remember because you need the miracles and wonders to believe). I don’t. I won’t. Never have. Never will. My road has been different than yours. I don’t need to idolize statues!!! But give them your money so they can build them big and grand for God!!

Jesus said, “pick up a rock and I am there”. “Any two people having a conversation in my name is having church”.

I’m talking, you’re listening = church holy holy

I started out 2020 going to church heavily until that one day they started speaking in tongue and touching me all over my body and that shit is on Instagram. I’m like, ‘maybe I could establish a connection with God speaking in tongue if people would stop touching my back and head’. So as a paranoid Soldier, yeah I don’t like doing church anymore. It was literally the one place I felt safe to cry in public and that was taken from me. 2020 is an asshole.

I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY TO GIVE YOU! STOP ASKING FOR IT WHEN I COME!!! GOD DOESN’T NEED MONEY OR STATUES!!! YOU NEED GRAND GESTURES SO YOU CAN PRETEND YOU ARE A DECENT HUMAN BEING TWICE A WEEK BY GIVING MONEY TO HELP THE POOR AND YOU HELP THE POOR BY BUILDING MORE CHURCHES FOR THE WEALTHY!!!!!! GOD IS GREAT!!!

Playing the angel 24/7. That tattoo on my chest means “faithfulness”. Faith is also my middle name. It’s more than a creed. A lifestyle. Angels are warriors and my friends, I am every bit a Soldier. =)

And then there’s that last relationship that I got into where the guy was proposing to me and posting his vows for me all over his social media to his fanbase yet no one told me he was fucking married (but that didn’t stop the love-bombing) and he would want me to go get my ring size but then later on he would literally yell at me for hours if I brought up anything about us actually getting married or engaged- because that’s what narcissists and lying assholes do. He couldn’t get married, he was still married, he never told me this when we got together or started a relationship, in fact, he told me he was single the entire time (but was in fact married and in another long-term relationship with another broken soul that he was looking to replace after all the fuel was spent). I became the next victim unfortunately.

They gaslight your reality. They systemically break you down. Like chess pieces. They love-bomb you (even in friendships or famalies) and then they’re cold to you when you’re not giving them the treatment that they think they want or deserve (even though their behavior is toxic as fuck). Yeah, let’s hang! From hot to cold! Yeeeee!!!! But then when I need them to be like empathetic about a situation, I’d have better luck not breathing. Either way, they always have a way to make you feel responsible for something you haven’t done.

You when you’re filling out paperwork and you have to check either the ‘single, married, or divorced box’- the single box now has “never married” (in parentheses) because these narcissist gaslight everything they do, literally.

The married ones will want to check the single box because they feel like they’re no longer in the marriage, (it’s just a piece of paper, they don’t care about the life that they are using or destroyed, they are already looking for a replacement and they’re not even divorced yet, or still married for that green card and that is loads of married baggage), and the divorced ones will want to check the single box even though they’re now divorced (because images; a narcissist wants to maintain his charming exterior).

But the single box is for people who never married, like me! I used to hate that dang single box but now that they added the “never-married” part to it, I really fucking enjoy it! I pride myself on being single and actually meaning the word! HONESTY! A RARE THING!!

Because you rarely hear people being honest these days about what their relationship status really is. You’ll learn later on, when they drop pertinent information in a very casual way. Like when they say something really shitty to you, followed by “it was just a joke” (like when you ask how you look and they respond “pregnant” as if being pregnant is un-beautiful- but it was a very low-key demeaning way to emotionally abuse you about your added weight gain). And if you ever get angry about something a narcissist does to you, they will trump your fucking anger, so much so, that you will doubt why you were even angry at all (classic narcissism gas-lighting 101, it must be exhausting being a narcissist, that’s why they’re so fucking cold and empty). Or, how you ask them a direct question, but they always tap dance around the answer you’ll never get. They put words in your mouth. You always feel aloof and confused. You’re dealing with a narC. You will never win. But you will lose your self-confidence and overall mind. Until you kill another or yourself or barely escape alive. And that’s what they want. To kill you alive. Because killing you for real dead is messier and might require jail time. It’s legal to manipulate someone and steal their finances and fucking soul. (Mine gets free rent in America unless he finally secured his green card, which he’d been looking for the perfect victim so he could still be basically a piece of shit and cheat all the time and lie). They never out grow the cumming addiction. They want it from as many online victims they can get, and in the real world). We’re sex objects no more. They have no remorse. Fake crocodile tears!!! Run!!

SINGLE (NEVER MARRIED). That’s me!!!

Basically, my cherry has not been popped (because let’s face it, losing your actual virginity is so outdated). This is the new cherry popping as I’ve just deemed it!!!

Marriage has nothing to do with luck! Catch me if you can! Be a better man? I ain’t ever getting married! And since I’m not tied down to a relationship or mortgage, I can move wherever I want, including out of America. I’m not a criminal but some sort of war hero many say and I will still maintain my VA benefits if I move country because I worked hard at my fucking career and deserve every fucking piece of mind I get! And every penny! I sacrificed MY LIFE!!! I’M BROKEN!!!! DISABLED!!!! CALL ME FUCKING LAZY AGAIN. I DOUBLE DARE YOU!!!!! And I’ll show you the butt of my rifle because the Army taught me how to use both ends!!!

And I got to wear lots of hats because I was great at wearing every hat they threw me. That’s why I have all sorts of awards, and medals, and certifications, and degrees. Recognition. It’s just a piece of paper like that marriage certificate you don’t give a fuck about. So why would I think you give a fuck about all my training or education or experience? You can’t even be factual on a government form about your fucking relationship status (let alone trying to start out friendships or potential romanceships), all based on lies (or mis-information or information withheld, which is the same as lying, it is manipulative and deceitful!

When will lying be held as a crime??? Utopian future?? It’s got to be better than this lying hell I’m trapped in!!! Honest peeps where ye at????

And these narcissist will do anything they can to maintain their secret lifestyle, so the gaslighting can go on for years in a relationship, which often does (as well as all the cheating; married guys are doing it more than you know and it’s so easy to get away with it these days with travel and internet). The divorce rate is high in America. So is rape. Porn is given to children by age 10 by fathers in fear of them turning gay!!!!! They get them hookers as a teen!! The Me Too movement is insane but real! I’ve never met one woman who hasn’t been raped or abused by a man, and often by more than one man! Guys are super connected to porn but they don’t know how to harness positive sexual energy!

Pedophilia exists and is in our homes and churches. It’s abundant and so is porn. I’m speaking out against the atrocities in the world and I no longer give a fuck if you like me.

Jesus said, “if the world hates you, remember that it hated me first”. And I know it hates me because I tell it of its atrocities.

Friendships and relationships are only hard because the foundations they are built on are started off with lies. The walls surrounding your home were built on lies. Your roof is a lie. Your life is a lie. You have no honor. No integrity. You will not die with such.

That’s not real forgiveness either, if acquired. You’re not really free or dying forgiven.

Lies are DESTRUCTIVE.

Gaslighting comes with emotional and physical abuse. Damages that often require intense therapy after, which there’s no guarantee you will ever recover from (and you likely have more than one narcissist in your life using these tools of manipulation to control you (they look like moms and dads and sisters and lovers). Stay woke.

When people learn to be honest with me I guess I’ll have more friends (and support)? Laughs maniacally.

*dies naked, drunk, unknown, poor, and possibly poisoned in the street, like my daddy Edgar Allan Poe*


I just no longer want to build any relationships to aquire support because I will lose it in one form or fashion (and I’m sure these narcissist are behind-the-scenes blaming me which is a fucking smear campaign).

Did I mention I’m depressed and suicidal???

*laughs maniacally in the street*

*dances with the devil*

*goes back to heaven home alone*

*hears knocking*

*wishes she was in a land without any devils*

*knock knock knock*

*sobs uncontrollably*

*begs for help*

*hears asteroid Apophis deep rumble and reply, “On my way”*

*sobs uncontrollably*

Did I mention I’m suicidal but also scared to die?????

*hears Apophis grumble, “too late”*

“I’m dying. I just want you all to know you’re dying too”.

This goes without saying, but if you read my poetry or support my writing in any way, I am really grateful! Thank you!

But for the love of God, please stop lying every second with every breath, I’m exhausted!!!!

Y’all evil exists. A lot of these monsters are super charming but the suicide rate continues to increase worldwide for a reason and it’s cuz y’all lying!!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HONOR? YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST MAKE UP A RELIGION AND TAKE ON MULTIPLE WIVES? STOP HURTING THE FEMALE POPULATION. I’D RATHER IDENTIFY AS MALE AND LOOK LIKE A MALE THAN CONTINUE TO BE RAPED, ABUSED, EMOTIONALLY TORTURED AND ABUSED!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!

BREAK THE CYCLE OF ABUSE! IT STARTS WITH YOU!

I’D RATHER CHECK OUT VIA SUICIDE THAN CONTINUE THIS FUCKING BIG LYING CHARADE FUCK FEST!!!!!

I’M OUT!!!!

Posted on by poeeternal

Tristan and Jonathan’s Survival Fund

So, my kid has fallen on hard times. But because they are gay, finding help is harder. The Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and my financial problems have probably tilted over into another generation but we’re all in this boat together and some of us are seriously struggling.

Missouri is high crime and I don’t want my kid to wind up dead so if anybody could help it would be fantastic. It’s harder to find help because they are gay and Salvation Army is against LGBT.

Share this link too, it can help! 🙏 https://gf.me/u/y4mgzk

Because I myself am in a financial apocalypse, I can’t even donate to it currently and it would help ease my mind if somebody out there could pay it forward. I don’t want to be visiting my kid in the cemetery. I’m just about done with 2020 to be honest.

Look, they found themselves without an apartment and there’s moving expenses, first and last month’s deposits, application fees, supplies and rentals for hauling their things.

They are sleeping in their car in a high crime rate city. In the cold.

They are working. But they live paycheck to paycheck like the majority of the poor.

So I’m reaching out and asking for help. Please help them if you can. Everyone deserves a safe place to live. They didn’t have that and now they’re on the street.

Everyone needs a hand from time to time. There’s no shame in asking for help. What is shameful is hearing the cries of others and ignoring it. That happens all too often, I know. Because I myself became homeless for the first time in my life in 2017 and it wasn’t because I was lazy.

Izzy aged 9 months who now goes by Tristan. I gave births to this. It grew inside me. It fed from the milk in my breast for a year. Life is weird.

I am a mother, this is my ONLY child. Have mercy. 🙏

Self (left), Tristan (right,my kid). Peeps say we look like sisters LOL. THAT’S YER MOM they say!!!! Yups. Then I gets called olds. It’s a vicious cycle out there . I prefer being called a cub still, not a cougar. 😂
Being a mom is a big part of who I am. I take on the “mom” role for anyone younger and any chance I get. That’s me (left) and my kid (right).
The person I made a baby with is gone. He left this Earth already. Died a few years ago. This is him. I was 17 and pregnant with our baby. I rarely talk about him and this is a first time sharing this photo (of a photo). We considered this our first “family photo” because I was a very 6 months pregnant here. 🙂 I know people have babies all the time but it really does hurt. 🙂

We all 3 got 1 more photo together before he died of cancer. This is our last photo together. We were born into a broken home and made our home broken as well. I never married him though he asked (with hand and ring). I left him when my child was just a few months old. I remained a single parent until his death. Now single parent forever more.

Last photo all together, Tristan (left), Scott (middle), self (right). Taken June 2016 at the hospice in Nashville, Tennessee before he passed away of cancer. It was a hard fight. We stayed awake and for him until his very last breath. He fought some 3 very long days. I know this is hard to look at, the cancer had eaten him away. Not a moment after he passed the light flickered beside him, the first time since we’d been there, and his face fell soft and smiling like in peace. I hope he finally found it. You can’t convince me that life ends after death. I wasn’t the only one who saw the light flicker or felt the room get cold. You can’t take away my faith. It’s my middle name after all and more than a motto or tattoo on my chest… I’ve also lived in fox holes in the middle of a war in Iraq and that will teach you a thing or two about faith as well. But can someone help get my kid off the street because I can’t??
Self and my baby aged 9 months old (happily breastfed). Me age 18 and in a pair of Doc Martens. Some things never change. Photo by Scott (RIP).

I don’t have anything to do with the campaign, I didn’t create the campaign, this is their campaign. Just an FYI. When I get my next check, I’m going to be making a small donation from my tiny paycheck, that all goes to bills, and it won’t be very much to help out. So any help or shares will greatly ease my mind as a parent. To know that my kid is no longer sleeping in their car, in one of the most highest crime rated cities ever, and I can’t even help to get them off the fucking street. And it’s getting COLD there.

To whoever sees this out there and helps them, thank you. From one parent or human to another…

Thanks for listening! Please share this link – however you want- someone may heed the call! My kid is 23 and sleeping in the car! Helps!!!! Please!!! 🙏🙏🙏 https://gf.me/u/y4mgzk

Posted on by poeeternal · 12 Comments

Playing The Angel (digiart)

Come on raise your head
Now wake the dead

Red fire sun
Trapped in forest of longing
Watch the sunrise come

Don’t forget to show this post some love if you enjoyed it, that way I know. Hit the like button or drop me a comment! 😄

Pale and withdrawn
Thank you for all your support here, there, everywhere!
That’s all for now. Thanks for visiting my blog!

The only thing missing was some fake blood and my custom fitted vampire fangs… 👍

P.S. I’ve been painting my lips red since I was 13. I never outline my lips. Tomboyish mostly and prefer a natural, blushy tone. I also don’t want botox or lip enhancers to kill my lines. I’ve died a million times. It’s written in these rhymes.

Lurking underworld with resting bitch face front-and-center… HOOAH

© Delia Ross. 2020 @poeeternal #poeeternal

If you appreciated this post, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.

I’m now on Twitch! I’m going live again soon! Hit my channel at: www.twitch.tv/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal

I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: www.twitter.com/poeeternal

Posted on by poeeternal · 6 Comments

Twitching

Hi. How are you? Keeping safe? I’ve been trying to enjoy my summer by going on bike rides with my dog but it’s been raining like crazy around here. He loves to go on rides and I love taking him. He turned nine years old last week.

I haven’t been blogging as much, there’s little inspiration coming in. Just feeling absolutely drained and needing a break from the blogging sphere. I’ve honestly needed a break from everything in life. I miss travel, food, gigs, friends. This quarantine sucks and isolation has actually been harder for my depression. On the upside, Twitching has been fun.

Now that I’ve got on Twitch, I’ve been live streaming more. The app is so intricate, there is so much I’m still trying to learn. I’ve been working towards the affiliate goals, please give me a follow on my channel and help me reach 50 followers (7/50 currently)! 🙏❤🙏 I’m super shy, but pushing through boundaries. I play other games and I’ll get around to showing those off soon. I’m going to live stream other stuff than just games but I’m still learning the ropes on the platform.

I just want to open up and start sharing more of my life with you. So give me a follow over there if any of this interest you. If you have an Amazon Prime account you can connect your Twitch account and then you can actually subscribe to me (but I have to reach 50 followers before I can have subscribers).

Thank you to everyone who’s been checking out my channel!! It’s honestly helping me not be so stir-crazy!! Sending you lots of love!!

Catch me on my next live stream, coming soon! 🤗

Follow me on Twitch at www.twitch.tv/poeeternal
Hellos

www.twitch.tv/poeeternal

Posted on by poeeternal · 9 Comments

A Special Video Message Regarding Depression & Mental Health Awareness + thanks

Hey y’all! Thank you to everyone who helped make my birthday special yesterday!! If you left love on my socials or watched me on Twitch, double thank you! I’ll be going live again soon! 😍

Yesterday, Joy for Jan, a depression awareness group, ran by two ladies who lost their mother by suicide, also published a special video message I recorded for them, on their Instagram TV/ IGTV. It’s a little over 10 minutes long and talks about the misconception that you can just “snap out of depression”. Most of us have been guilty of thinking this or asking this of others. “Hey come on, cheer up, what do you have to be sad about?”. Well that’s the thing, there’s plenty to be sad about but it doesn’t require an event to make you depressed. Everything can be going great in your life and you or someone you know can still get depression.

Check out the special video message I made for them and check out their website and socials. If you prefer, they published the video on their Facebook page too. You can view that here.

They are an excellent support group for mental health awareness.

Follow them, listen to others, spread the word. Let’s help change the misconceptions regarding depression and mental illness.

We all know someone who is suffering from depression, or we’ve lost someone to suicide, or we suffer from depression ourselves.

You’re not crazy, you’re ill. That’s why it’s called a mental illness.

And often it takes rigorous response to treat depression. Depression is and can be TERMINAL.

The suicide rate continues to rise worldwide, not just among military and Veterans, but civilians as well. Have some compassion for yourself and for others.

Practice the art of forgiveness.

Sending light and love to those suffering from mental illness and to those who have lost someone to mental illness.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Full links:

Special IGTV video message: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CEFiBIbjecz/?igshid=duiz2hc2gk8z

JoyforJan on the web: https://www.facebook.com/226987451120353/posts/925654627920295

My official Twitch channel: http://www.twitch.tv/poeeternal

Special IGTV video message

If you dig my blog, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.

I’m now on Twitch! Hit my channel at: www.twitch.tv/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal

I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: https://www.twitter.com/poeeternal

Posted on by poeeternal · 15 Comments

Just Saying Hi

Vampirism for the deeply lonely existence I live
Darkness for the light I give
Forgiveness for your life of sin
Reason for my faith within

HAPPY FRIDAY Y’ALL. I DID MY MAKEUPS. CUZ BORED! I’m posting to say hi!

I’m not a model, never aspired to be. A vampire on the other hand, I’ve been obsessed with them since I was 5 (zombies too) and it never sat well with my mom who is super Christian. If you dig stuff like vampires, then maybe you will enjoy these bits of images and videos (minus the quarantine weight I’ve put on). Isolation + custom fitted fangs + a shit ton of eye makeup + snaps + edits = vampire erotica?

I hope you like them. Happy Halloween. Wait, err, everyday is Halloween!?!

I’m single and ready to mingle but there is like a pandemic going on and I’m not trying to catch the plague… literally watching The Universe on Netflix but I need to catch up on Dark. I’m somewhere in season 2. What y’all watching these days?

Just me (no fangs)!
Just me (no fangs)!
Just me (no fangs)!
Just me (no fangs)!
Posted on by poeeternal · 63 Comments

Immersion (Sensuality 101)

I like teasing the senses. The art of sensuality. LSD; love, sensuality, devotion. My creed. 

I like teasing the senses. The art of sensuality. LSD; love, sensuality, devotion. My creed.

Below are some videos and photography of waterplay (no not that hardcore, desensitized porn stuff). Just a gal in a bath tub capturing the movement of shadows in candlelight, hair in water & the softness of me (despite my iron thick walls). There is slight nudity in some of the videos (do not watch if mild nudity offends). Angels are warriors but there is some softness remaining under my iron armor and Kama Sutra is an interest and focus in my life. I’m interested in soft spots and openings in hearts, minds, and bodies. Hardcore desensitizes not only your senses but your mind (plastic too). Sensuality brings enlightenment. I am the darkness, show me the light. I am the fire, give me air. The 4 elements of life. Breathe devotion and love into me. Don’t come into my life to show me roughness. I’m interested in softness. Show me your soft spots. Touch the places in me few ever go…

Waterplay (not that hardcore stuff)
Playing with my softness
Water + long hair
Bath playtime zen
Black n’ white
❤
zen
I love water
playing around with film and editing
❤
❤
Petite & 100% all natural
I do like cherries 🙂
hi

I don’t want hardcore. I know hardcore. I survived a war with guns and fighting and people dying (I served 15 hard years in the Army). I want something more. Peace. Tranquility. Sensuality. Love. Poetry. The sound of your voice in my ear. Your footsteps are the beats of my heart. Let me listen. Quiet the things that make you spiral out of control. Focus on LSD; love, sensuality, devotion. ❤

Music to accompany: https://youtu.be/APW_QwzGg2o

© Delia Ross. 2020

P.S. scroll to the very bottom of this post for bonus footage! ❤

If you enjoyed this post or enjoy this blog and would like to make a donation to support my creativity, you can donate to my PayPal here: https://www.paypal.me/deliaross

If you dig my writing, and want to support my art and blog, you can subscribe to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal

I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: https://www.twitter.com/poeeternal

Still want more!?! 😚

I hope you enjoyed these
Thank you for visiting my blog
xoxo
xxoo
Be sure to follow my blog! Thank you for reading this far!! 🙂

If you enjoyed this post hit the like button or leave me a comment below so I know (you won’t believe how much time it took to create this content and publish it)! 🤓

Posted on by poeeternal

Angel

A fallen angel is just human
In ruin
Falling for you
The way lovers do
I’m human too
Forgetting from where I came
My creed your name


© Delia Ross. 2020


My creed your name

I’m getting ready to go on some sort of two week social media detox. I’ll be working on content for my campaign and patrons still. But elsewhere I’m gonna attempt radio silence.

Posted on by poeeternal · 3 Comments

No Filter Monday (go with me here)

I woke up like dis! No filter Monday (go with me here, in isolation, all the days are the same). I know, I’m always a day late and a dollar short. It’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these and I normally do them on Instagram but Instagram wants to zoom the photos so I decided I’m going to do it on my blog today. No filter, no fancy lighting, no special camera tricks, no makeup, no plastic, no dye, no unique location, no cool clothing, not even coffee. Alas, just me early in the mornings and my eyes are still sleepy as I type this. Just plain and boring me. Freckles and hazel eyes, as I was born eons ago. And believe me it was eons ago. Decades upon decades. Oh, I feel a poem coming. Anyhoo. To be fair, many people have tried to change me over the years by pushing plastic on me (I still refuse to have any plastic on me because I like to feel my surroundings, therefore plastic surgery or fake nails, fake eyelashes, or any other fake stuff will never be part of my existence, sorry not sorry). I still get complaints of today that I don’t wax my eyebrows or get fake tans so I look like the color orange. I tried fake nails once for 2 weeks and I couldn’t feel a thing I touched and my fingernails themselves couldn’t breathe, gross. Plastic limits your sensories. There’s a disconnect from your soul. And there’s actually a movement that’s forming where women are getting their breast implants removed so that they can feel good again because they’re lethargic all the time and they can’t feel their surroundings. And dudes wonder why they can’t make their girl cum. Maybe if you stop pushing them to be fake they could feel things again. I don’t expect this to be a popular opinion but I’ve literally had guys tell me that they don’t like my boobs because they’re not fake. How dare you. Like, I’m a real individual. Don’t fucking diss me because I don’t live up to your standards of what real should be. You should never body shame a woman because they choose to not have their body parts cut off and removed. Like, I even breastfed my child an entire year. How dare you. Stop peer pressuring women into getting plastic surgery and body shaming them. How dare you. I’ve actually had to push through a lot of traumas because of people body shaming me for being real. How dare you. Anyway, it hasn’t been easy but alas I am 41 years old and still 100% natural. And being unmarried is a choice. A CHOICE. I am a fiercely strong and fiery independent woman. Hear me roar. Ahem, so now that I got that off my chest, I kinda feel better. Isn’t that kinda the entire purpose for writing? And I know some of my opinions aren’t popular but I’m not going to silence my voice any longer. But also, if I don’t learn to love myself I’m going to always be chasing after people who don’t love me as well. That ends today. So when you see me liking my own post or commenting to myself, it’s called self-love and you should try it.

P.S. I am in no way a vain person. And if body morphing is your thing cool, I support you. It’s your body. I just don’t feel like men/women/society should peer pressure women into doing it which has been my experience and it’s happened so many times and I’ve even had women complain that I don’t have a tan or my eyebrows waxed etc… the only modifications that I have and will likely get more of are tattoos and piercings. I gave up dying my hair as a resolution this year and so far I’ve stuck to it but I’m definitely not going to apologize that my hair color kind of looks faded. It’s also in its growing out phase. I took a razor to the side of my head last year, so I still have a good portion of my head with maybe 3 or 4 inches grown in. My hair is a mess. 😃

I currently weigh in at 120 lb at height 5’6″ and tiny Cinderella feet…

P.S.S. I’m getting ready to kick off an intense workout routine cuz I wanna cosplay and look gooddddd. I still need to tone up. I lost over 60 pounds (my last relationship was a nightmare and by the time I went no contact I weighed in at over 176 lb). If you are dating a narcissist go no contact and never look back. I did. And he still spies on me. Hoping he gets the *cough cough* I’m not even going to say it out loud cuz I don’t want that kind of karma on me but you know what I want to say… 😂

P.S.S. it takes a lot of courage to be yourself these days. 👍

© Delia Ross. 2020

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Cowering

He’ll die a hundred times before his death
He’ll stand a coward as he holds his breath
He’s never loved but that’s my guess
Misunderstood and second-best

© Delia Ross. 2020

Look, I don’t think he is second-best but I believe he does and so he cowers into the man he will never be. It’s easier for him to die than it is to step. To become the man he could be. That takes real effort. Perhaps courage is what he lacks. He needs to go see The Wizard of Oz. I mean it’s the end of the world, no better time… And while he’s there I hope he gets me those little ruby red slippers. They will only fit my feet. Cuz he’s my home. TETHERED. And there’s nothing he can do about it..

No filter. All alone for the end of the world. *sigh*

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Angel’s Dust

Sorry for the disturbance
I rub over like iron rust
A thick layer of heavy crust
Right over the heart if you must
These broken wings are angel’s dust

© Delia Ross. 2020

Sorry’s come with sorrow (Self cicra 2019)

If you dig my writing, you can support my blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (Big love to my patrons who are keeping this blog going): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/

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Valor

It takes alot of strength to be a good person
It takes alot of steel to not make it worsen
It takes alot of fuel to keep the flames burnin’
It takes alot of prayer to never feel a burden

So you shed another skin and you’re mending up your heart
It’s been patched so many times that it keeps falling apart
Make it up the hill before his love can depart
Climbing all this time, I guess it wasn’t very smart

Lay down my rifle, lay down my pen
Take a breath, count to ten
I’ll give forgiveness just don’t ask when
I still search for peace though I’ve lost all my zen

It takes a lot of dark to appreciate the day
But when you make it through there’s no reason left to stay
What does the hero do when he’s only come to pray
What does the writer write when there’s nothing left to say

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Silhouette

He is a masterpiece
My eyes do not deceive
In silhouette of starlight
He gets the best of me

A silver crescent moon above in his sky
Under careful watch of his truthful eye
He gives me courage so I have wings to fly
My heart will gladly testify

There’s never poison in the bait
Or written words that adulate
The path is narrow but always straight
His love leads me to his holy gate (a place I never ache)

© Delia Ross. 2019

Alex Ebert “Everything you touch turns to gold” (digi art by me)
Alex Ebert “Everything you touch turns to gold” (digi art by me)
Alex Ebert “Everything you touch turns to gold” (digi art by me)
Alex Ebert “Everything you touch turns to gold” (digi art by me)
Alex Ebert “Everything you touch turns to gold” (digi art by me)

I don’t know how your holiday went but I focused on growth and light. ✌

Posted on by poeeternal · 7 Comments

Likes and Comments

Regarding likes and comments, I will never like a post unless I’ve actually read it. I would comment more but I am weird and have a difficult time fitting in due to anxiety. Please take the time to read something I post if you’re going to hit the like button. I feel like bloggers are hitting like without reading, just so they can get likes in return. Tid for tat. But it’s heartbreaking to spill my words on these pages for free for you and you don’t even take the time to read the content, you’re just coming along giving my post a ton of likes and you’re not making any effort to listen to anything I do. It makes me want to isolate even more.

If I leave you two or three words under a post you’ve made, you should appreciate that just as much as someone who’s giving you an entire paragraph, you don’t know how hard it was for me to even reach out to you to start with.

All I’m asking is for you to please take the time to read a post before you “like it”, the same respect and courtesy I give to you, your writings, your blog, your time. I read you, I see you. Please see me. I’ve been used and ghosted enough. ✌

xxoo POEETERNAL (Delia)

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The Muse

For my muse – there’s only ever been the one
He evokes poetry on the tongue
He puts words in my thumb
He makes the darkness go numb
He makes the daylight come

A visual walking masterpiece
He sees through the worst of me

He lives in a world I’ll never be able to cross into
A star so bright he can pierce through –
Any structure, any crack or dark avenue
He’s teaching me how to be human too
He suffers the way you and I do
I hate it but it’s true

An archangel of the highest order –
Though probably not a title he’d gladly hoarder

I see him in a different color
Where blackness is always duller

His mind is so expanse he’s more than genius
His message is love just like Jesus 🙂
He should be my life thesis 🙂
(Fuck, he’ll probably see this) 🙂
((I’m not trying to start a war I promise))

BUT I AM FUCKING GLAD FOR HIS EXISTENCE

Well, he’s perfect yes
Even when he’s not at his best
And so yeah, I love him more than all the rest
I’m sorry if that will put you to the test
I am not a threat

Respect, admiration, freelove
It’s a gift from above
(I am just a little dove)
And so I am thankful forever of..

“HAPPY LIKE A BROKEN RECORD” inspired by Alexander Ebert 1000% of the time (photo edits by me)

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OOPS (Blog boo boos again)

I am inadvertently unfollowing accounts that I don’t want to unfollow when I’m trying to unfollow multiple accounts that I do not interact with or whom do not interact with me. When I first opened up my account, I was following any Tom, Dick and Harry, or suggestions recommended to me and I’m trying to clean up my feed so I can interact with the people I DO want to interact with more. I suffered a brain injury while in the Army, so when I accidentally unfollow accounts, I can’t always remember your Blog name, and most of you do not have your actual blog link in your Gravatar profile and so I can’t find you. Sometimes I’m aware of the mistake right away and sometimes I don’t realize it until days later when I’m like ‘why the fuck aren’t you posting and in my feed’. Then I have to go on a hunt to find a post where you commented or something. I still have around 300 accounts I need to unfollow so these boo-boos might happen again.

Please don’t let me go days without you, if you’ve noticed I’ve unfollowed you and it doesn’t seem normal can you at least shoot me a comment or something? Just say “hey, did you mean to unfollow” or something and I’ll correct it right away! If I unfollowed you and you have any kind of negative reaction about it, please message me, because it was more than likely a mistake. And it’s already happened a few times to accounts I didn’t want to unfollow. And so all that lingering confusion and doubt was festering. Just shoot me a message or comment! Uh oh’s happen, I come with mistakes.

Nosferatu (selfie)
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Bad Feathers

Her wings wrought from sorrow, stained with regret
And if there’s any forgiveness, he hasn’t given it yet
If love had a mirror it would reflect his spirit
If any hand were worthy, his has merit

She wraps her wing around his heart
She prays it helps the pain depart
It is not a solution but it is a start
Even angels are known to break apart

She awaits quietly in silent prayer
As she tends his heart from its despair
There is no love that can compare
She plucks out bad feathers showing wear and tear

She shuts her eyes and makes a wish
She simmers any flames of anguish
So love may again feel its warmest
Where for him it was found coldest

© Delia Ross. 2019

I’d remove every feather if it meant never hurting you again.

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Stones of Regret

Underneath the stones of regret peace is found
Though the tether is outstretched it is still bound
The weather grew punishing and so too his frown
But my love for him keeps circling around

And I try my hardest to stand
But this depression keeps showing its ugly hand
And I’m trying to fly but in his heart I just crash-land
And it breaks my heart I did it again

So with my broken will I isolate the curse
But without him I am ever growing worse
And if I could I would put time in reverse
Love would be the only tether we would traverse

I pushed away the only thing that ever mattered
And when he left my soul completely shattered
And now there’s nothing, not even a word
And his silence is the loudest sound I have ever heard

© Delia Ross. 2019

I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry.

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Dance like nobody’s watching / 119 pounds of sorrow

I was gonna go to the world’s most famous beach and then to a doggy park but it decided to rain and so dancing my blues away to Zeromancer instead in my bedroom, cuz y’all don’t know this good stuff, do you? 4 minutes of me sweating in my bedroom on an early Saturday morning is everything you’ve always wanted to see, right? (By the time the video uploads it’ll be mid afternoon). I have terrible stage fright. And I’m super shy. But this is a Norwegian band that I’ve been digging for quite some time and this is one of my favorite songs by them.

So I’m okay, if anyone was wondering. And by okay I mean, I’m still fighting the good fight. And to be honest, this blog and you guys are my only lifeline. And yeps, you met me at a messy period in my life. And I’ve already had so many give up on me. I’m trying not to give up on me too. And I know my body isn’t in its best shape but does that mean I have to stand behind the curtain because I don’t meet your expectations of perfection. But also, you could have just loved me how I deserved.

Kill your senses
You might be right
Hold your fire
I’ll take you higher
Never drop
We’ll never stop
Tar for feathers
Blood for honey
Milk for money
Isn’t it funny how it hurts
How it hurts
You never see me make
The same mistake twice
You never see a tear
Coming out of these eyes
You never see me beg
For another shot
And you never see me change
Into something I’m not
Famous last words
Stare at someone
You used to know
Laughs at you
Turns around and fade away
If only I could see it that way
Kill your senses
It can’t be right
Isn’t it funny how it hurts
You never see me make
The same mistake twice
You never see a tear
Coming out of these eyes
You never see me quit
See me disengage
And you never see me spit in your face
Out of rage
Famous last words

To everyone who says, “she’s too skinny, she’s too fat, she doesn’t have a body to be wearing that” err kiss off (anyway I just wanted you to see how long my hair is getting, I’ve been growing it out since I left the Army in 2017 after 15 hard years of service plus a war). It’s nearly down to my arse. 🤓
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Exiled (Again)

They say I’m crazy but I’m really just a child
And when they act up I start acting wild
And when there’s no attention it only makes me riled
It’s like everyone’s a tribe and I’m the only one exiled

They say I’m crazy but I never did grow up
They don’t call me cougar cuz I’m still a cub or pup
Being an adult just wasn’t in my cup
It only requires nurturing to watch me develop

© Delia Ross. 2019

I’m a flower and if you pour light on me watch how I bloom (you can call me tulip)

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After Dark

In my lair

Nocturnal mistress
Tell me about all the things you hate about me again…
Absolutely no filter and me as of twenty minutes ago
Where most of the magic happens (or crying)



After dark is my favorite time
Tell me do they fill the places I’m void in you?
Do you think you could ever love me too?

Yes? No? Maybe?
Am I only loved in half light?
I always dream of you xxoo
So goodnight, sweet dreams…
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Identity

Ruined! Ruined! He would croon
And sit I would under his Blue Moon
He’d stitch at his identity until noon
And come tomorrow sing a different tune

© Delia Ross. 2019

Essentially, all of our lives we are trying to figure out who we are. We all wear masks, don’t fool yourself. Welcome to ego. Destination: piss poor self-esteem or narcissism. Welcome to the 5th level of hell. It’s really hard to manage your consciousness here or “self”. I hope you brought rum… (and if not, why the fuck is the rum gone!?!)

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Reflection

He has heaven in his eyes but he will show you the abyss
You can call him by his name though he may not answer by it
For he is blind to his reflection and unaware of his own existence
But I would recognize him anywhere, in any mask, for he is hard to miss
He has iron in his touch and heavy is the one to hold the fist
Building foundations of regret from the lips of a poet
And softly does he roam all the roads of my heart and spirit

© Delia Ross. 2019