Keys (journal entry)

I gave you keys to my trust and you broke it when I was vulnerable
Barging into the night a maniac drunken on furor
All around you the ground dishonor
You’ve been AWOL in spirit and now demand rescue
Your only form of payment sabotage

You’ve pissed all over my door
And even now the stench is more than I can handle
Full throttle now as I drop my stern
There are bodies collecting under the hull

My regrets are tiny fractions compared to your sin’s shadow
And every moment now it is growing taller: see what you’ve done
Your bridge is so far burned that galaxies are splitting dimensions

I sat in the dark void dying
How the ocean crushes you the deeper you fall
God was the only one who heard my crying
Even now, my heart beats differently

He makes me feel 1000 years old πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž

You should have left it fantasy. Or, at the very least, not reduced me to a working free whore.

I don’t need anyone or anything devaluing my life.

Therapy is a lot work, you’re a train wreck.

You act a child as if a prize.

You’re gonna get blocked.

Even better, a restraining order.

I had a little fun with you behind closed doors, attempting to role-play, but your intentions are clearly sinister.

I never asked you to divulge who you were, or personal details of your life, mixing fantasy with real life.

And having the audacity to treat me like trash during the worst time of my life. πŸ‘

Yeah cool but we’re done.

You can fuck off now.

I want to work on building healthy relationships with normal human beings.

I am in intense therapy to change my bad habits and thoughts.

I don’t owe you a fucking thing.

I don’t have to tell you to never call me again because I’ll change my fucking number and address.

I’ll never make the mistake of having fun behind closed doors either.

I am not a sex worker nor have I ever taken or sent photos of me performing sex acts.

I have done nude modeling in the past, I’m not ashamed.

I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TACKY WITH ANYONE.

You’re a disgusting individual.

Stay away from me.

I don’t need you coming into my inbox treating me like a sex object and I know you keep all your favorite porn stars number one – so get the fuck out of my life

I’m a GOOD GIRL

I’ve just fallen on some hard times and unfortunately bad people take advantage of that.

You’re two different people.

I wouldn’t even give a fuck if you knew how to treat me with an ounce of dignity and respect but you don’t even know how to treat yourself that way.

I don’t wish any harm of you.

I’m just not gonna waste my time praying you will get better.

You’re sinking my ship.

Don’t make me cut you off.

You’re crossing lines you cannot return from.

I CANNOT RETURN FROM THE DEPTHS YOU ARE PUSHING ME.

YOU MUST LET ME GO NOW


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