‘Turn Me Blue’
Sometimes I experience words as if they are new
That’s what your written word can do
Pushing and pulling through and through
Take my breath, turn me blue
Subjunctive mood
Lay it out for me in lines
Penalized
Marginalized
Revised
By your red pen, I am chastised
Twisting and burning
Your pens always yearning
Speaking of truth as if you are learning
Replacing your mask while your lies keep turning
Every single day my anger is churning!!
Lines! Lines! The devil’s crossing, the way you’re talking!
The constant lusting, a poor man’s cursing
The way you haunt me
The nightly stalking
I can’t keep walking
I’m more than drunken babble
Jagged edges traveled
I’m more than all you saddle
Or the porn that’s on your channel
Stop pretending you’re something you’re not
The baggage you carry weighs alot
Still licking your mask for all that it’s got
Worried the truth simply might drop
I go from wanting to block him to wanting to fuck –
I go from ‘I hate him’ to “he’s my buck”…
Jagged edges
Overcrowded ledges
Falling into hedges
Deserted second pledges
Wishing things I haven’t
Rotten choices maggot
Fine tuning an old habit
Lessons always absent
Why do they always have to lay on me their personal conditions?
I want to muse not defuse the hourly emissions
Confessions, obsession, next the rejection
The highs, the lies, twice the objection
Undermining and poor correction
Next you know there’s more affection
Every step has got you guessing
But no one ever moves direction
From none to some
From some to none
From birth to young
From aged to numb
From luck to curse
To curse from luck
From fast to stuck
From good to suck
I’m still finding bones you buried
Death the only thing you married
I wasn’t around love and nurturing growing up
I was a petite girl beaten, I had it rough
My mother, my sister, my father’s, they all were tough
From blood to bruises, scruff was the stuff
The frog doesn’t know until it’s too late that the water is hot
People either loathe me or they love me alot
Maybe I’m formidable or maybe I’m not
Maybe you’re alive with a heart full of rot
He left but his silhouette remains
Life is quiet where shadow overstays
Not even a whisper asks if I’m okay
All you ever give me is your poorly drawn lines. I’ve heard this excuse now a million damn times.
Stop pretending my love is a crime
Stop telling others I’m not worth a dime
It seems you’ve laid integrity on the line
Darling, I’ll win every time
Lure her where light breaks
Offer her heartaches
Remind her of her mistakes
He made his bed though he wasn’t prepared
The road she was going he couldn’t care
It seems her worries wasn’t shared
Or maybe underneath the hiding, a boy was scared
I left you like a ton of bricks crumbling
My rearview shows the void
A boy devoid
Self-worth destroyed
There’s nothing to avoid
Tear me down
Disassemble words ticking
Fingers clicking
People bitching
Darkness my gown
Sales we’re pitching
Endless ditching
Wounds we’re stitching
Anger itching
Another smiling clown
Dreams still wishing
Lies keep twisting
Sorrows non-fixing
Love went missing
Watch me drown
I can go but the only thing it’ll prove is that I’m gone…
If only forgiveness were a page to turn
All these hills are mistakes I’ve run
And I cannot change the things I’ve done
Got my enemies watching with a telescope
You say you hate me but you know I’m dope
I see you clinging to my every hope
You pray I’m drowning tho God is my boat
Spoken word coming soon to my Twitch TV! Watch this space!
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I’m simply loving this poem of yours….the sick flow….the quick throws….you slit lows….you dig through….your deep sore….you burn zones….your things float….your wings soar….you slick dope….you must sing or rap your rhyme….care to give it a try
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π I absolutely do want to move into performing as opposed to just reciting it in some drab, monotone form like many do. I took Drama in High School, studied acting, have been to auditions (Including Survivor CBS). I’ve been in love with poetry since the third grade. I’ve been writing it nearly the same amount of time. I don’t even understand why people go live and read their poetry on Instagram, it sounds like they’re bored as fuck. And they never smile. I love your reply!! πππ
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Hey, then you can begin with video recording your own home performance to try… how your rhyme will shine, when you would put emotions & passion with the glow of your intense eyes….I’m glad you loved my reply πβ¨
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Wow! Wow! Wow! πππ
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Thanks for stopping by Jude, I’m glad you dig! π
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You seem much better lately, no more sleepless nights?
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Sleep is non-existent. Not getting much, if any at all… many people who live with mental illness are good at hiding their woes. Defense mechanism. Just means I’m at my worse… Thanks for asking! Hope you are well! Your blog is doing so good! β€
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Not sure about so good, I just enjoy myself on here, need to begin promoting it.
If you ever want an penpal across the world to talk to, I’m here.π§‘
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Thanks so much for sharing my work!!! π
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So cool! Thank you for the happies (happiness)!! β€
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It just feels painful.π
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It has been! I don’t recommend unrequited love!
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I really hate youβve experienced it. But I know how you feel.
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I appreciate that. πππ
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