Cherry blossoms bloom
Over my depression
Red leaves fall
Deeper isolation
Like a pivotal point
Forged through tribulation
Five trillion eight hundred seventy-eight billion four hundred ninety-nine million eight hundred ten thousand miles from all creation
I’m racing towards
A single colossal point of gravity
Like I’m searching for
Rewards
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
I don’t even like halloween anymore
But there are SOME things I still like…
I know
I know you’re bored of life
I know you’re tired of lying
The quick traverse of the rope
But you forgot to tie the lineForget about dying
I think about you all the time
The cold felt you appear like a sun ray, but disappear just as I prayed
For once, you let me have my way
But looking back, the way was pavedAnd there were devils on the road
And there were demons in the den
They were always looking
They know all I’ve beenSometimes I question things did
We’ve been depressed since we were kidsYou’re hiding under pseudonym
You’re writing in acronym
Two plus two means words you spell
For me, “I’m always seeing him”In clouds, en empty well
Lost footsteps in hellLike during the blood moon
I’ll stop and bless a boon
Speak words with you
Where dreams feel trueBut I am two-faced
Barefoot disgracedI know I’ll find you on the dark path
And on the pages where I come last
But have a good laugh
(And no I won’t ask)I’m mad
And in the madness, you found me dancing ballet atop the quicksand, asking when will it end?“Do I know what I am doing here”
“Do you know why you are here”Other dimensions have left shadows on my heart, in places even you wouldn’t embark
Like leaving footprints of destiny
You weren’tmeant for meYou were like meeting light at the end of the tunnel
Tongue no longer verbal
Wanted in your circle
Knowing I am troubleBut you are fire and I’m a match
So open doors now have a latch
And you escaped down the hatchWe’re running from the past but the sign up ahead says we’re going too fast
All my nightmares are neatly tucked away under my bed
That’s where dreams go to dieIf you look at the dust collecting, that’s my skin shedding
Cold nights sweating
BloodlettingThere I lay dead
And who I could have been
Is laying there like papers
Yet it is skin…Dried up and thin
The worse part is I don’t listen to myself
Just like nobody else
I said halt not leftBut John went crawling in a hole he knew he wouldn’t fit in at all
“The map is wrong”
The globe isn’t accurate
Your love I’m chasing after it
In the middle of midnight
There’s a tail lightSo how scary was my fall?
My end; want to keep the secret from allCuz the dead don’t know they’re dying
Some happen quick
Don’t know what hit
Some oversaturated
With societal bullshitI’m clearing out my life again
Got another big task ahead
You think Mount Everest is big
You ain’t been climbing in my headDid you know sword cuts flame?
That I’ve gone insane?
Sometimes I cry
When I call your name?My love comes and goes
It ebbs and it flowsDistance is time
The homeless are congregating in the city streets like the chosen fallen
They’re rabid with sin
Drooling from the dope within
And I gotta flee again
These feet are wearing thinCopyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
(p∞)
I dunno what you’re waiting on
Hell to come?
I have arrived
Sat down outside
With pen in hand
But I’m out of ink?
But these walls know what I think?
Like considering heaven
And the events to get me there then?
It’s far from happening
Though death is companying
Like an uninvited guest at my deathbed
I wanted you instead?
Your words? Your calls?
My phone a friend?
Whom I can but can’t depend?
Us against them? Gone yet united?
The system? The stranger you’re lying with?
Oh you know their name?
Cool but I’m no longer hiding that I have gone insane?
Maybe only temporary?
Can’t take this to the pearly gates
I’m expressing all my rage
But I’m innocent
The midnight moon glowing
The avalanche down the mountain flowing
Honestly, might be where I’m going?
Since the mountains are the only ones who are calling!!!
And hell froze over on me
In the hottest parts of the city
I was like wait a minute, “it is snowing”
So that’s my reality
And the neighbors building melting snowmen
While my rage is burning within
Yelling at the therapist, “I don’t like the sound of voices… except his”
“Yours is okay, I actually admitted this”!?!
Like I can handle a “handful”
But not in succession
“I quit group confession”
But I really need a priest?
My new doctor thinks she can fix what is inside of me?
INFORMED CONSENT
I’m ready to try it
Left the doc a message “I’m pretty sick”
Just got off the phone with a pharmacist
But as far as my medicinal “I ain’t gotta quit”
Thank fuck
About to take a hit
(Just hopepray this ain’t the culprit)
Cuz coconut ain’t on the foods to eat
And I ate a bit….
🙂
They dilated my eyes this morning cuz i had my lookers examined – and at first it was without my glasses on – they are using a new method with a mirror and computer screen laser and I could see fuck all. She kept turning nobs “and now” and the panic set it “not like anything at all” and she did not realize my glasses were corrective (she thought just readers) and the instant relief we both had and the laughter coming from the room “i can see the smallest lines”
I ain’t blind
I mean, without glasses, I can see there’s a sign but I couldn’t tell you the name of the road
“You go a couple miles til you see Big Lots, now if you get to the Circle K you’ve gone too far”
And while you over there swing by the drive thru Little Caesar’s and get me one of them $10 stuffed crust
(Only they ain’t ten in my city, a couple more)
And I was at the grill at the VA today ordering 3 scrambled brown eggs
“You got any vegan turkey bacon or sausage”
“We got some Turkey bacon but it ain’t vegan”
“My doc says I can’t have no meat currently but some of us can’t be no vegetarian”
And an echo of “amen” “i hear that”
But I only got the toast and eggs
Wish I had got SIX SCRAMBLED
Next time double
I might be little but I got a big appetite
Greedy lil thang
It’s annoying how much I gotta eat to constantly be losing weight
But while being very sick I ordered Chipotle (not pizza) to get a salad and they had NO CHICKEN which I suddenly hate the taste of chicken?
So I got the beef
My body absorbed it
It said FUCK YEAH
Cuz I really needed some meat and I refuse pork but they were out of chicken and I hate chicken?
So to me the universe directed me to the “all beef”
The cow is in heaven now and my tummy
I will not make a habit tho
I’ve gone MONTHS without beef eating only chicken and then no meat for several weeks and almost died
You come cook the lentil meatloaf
I’m DYING
I need SOUP
My VEGAN SOUP
so that is my goal
Back to my homemade soups!
I thrive on vegan soup, spring water, and cashews.
Back to the basics for me
And oatmeal IS on the foods I can eat
Thank GOD
I literally cried cuz she said “no cereal” but to me oatmeal is cereal
The good oatmeal with berries im allowed
–
And I love eating eggs again?
I thought I hated eggs but now I will inhale them
Just eggs
No salt, no pepper
Scrambled. Grill. Buttered toast (i dunno if the toast is allowed) (please give me one piece of toast)
THANK YOU
(Claim the grits too) (Even tho they ain’t allowed)
There’s no benefits to corn
CABBAGE ON THE GOOD LIST THO
(I made a spicy vegan taco with cabbage – don’t overcook the cab) – it was fab)
P.S. i told the psych doc i did not need any help euthanizing myself if/when the time comes (if) and he upped my meds…. FYI
And I have to see him again in 3 weeks…
The truth is, I prob would need your help cuz I wouldn’t wanna burn in hell for all eternity
God would forgive you potentially
This isn’t an invite
You just need to prepare
In case
“Too analytical” but how the fuck else would you crunch the kinda numbers you do?
I math in my own way
You know I see things you don’t
And you understand the thing I see
Most days I’m sorting out which timeline I am in
(Is this why you don’t call)
(please don’t call)
It’s better if we write?
Getting new eyes. These were my choices. I was allowed 3 frames. 1 for reading, 1 tinted for driving, and one for day. Any extras I had to pay. So took the freebies. Cuz Ivermetin cost me $180 alone woot woot (but she thinks it’s gonna sort me)
Need the good prays
They do sell ray-bans but those ain’t free lol
I do like the 3 new frames incoming tho (the clear will be my readers, the purple/black the tint, and the cute feminine pair on top is for my dailyware
She said they made me look ten years younger 🙂
We’ll see 🙂
I also still have no computer cuz at war with big bro?
They dilated my eyes and I had to drive home in a big storm
…even the grey light was blinding
And I hope to get back to rhyming 🙂
More future updates/notes in rhyme mode?
Practice makes the perfects worse I swear
Pssst… waiting on a story from you
I wanna share my story ideas
Rough drafts
Maybe I’m afraid you’ll know how much I’m twisted?
These days, the script is written, no point in keeping it hidden? 🙂
“She’s a little kuku? But she’s harmless” “for now”
“..i wouldn’t go testing the waters or nothing”
“…the Army trained her you know…”
“Uncle Sam’s fault she’s that way”
“She’s like a gremlin”
“Just don’t feed her after midnight…”
I told the pill doc I had no prob euthanizing myself – i can be approved in Canada – when is the VA offering it
And he upped my meds…
Told him I be crying randomly in public or at home doing anything
I blamed my period
I told him I feel so much rage sometimes
Like a devil is inside of me
“But I know I am me”
“All 12 versions of me know I am me”
i killed the monsters under my bed
i drove through forest of lead
i can’t recall what was said
but there’s a feeling of contempt
and you follow where it went
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
i miss hate thy neighbor 😦
p.s. i want to expand the theme of this poem, especially the first line
so i may re-write a poem? that’s rare
you miss my LONG poems?
i need to revisit my works
there must be a gem or two in there?
i want the neighbor wahhhh
but i’ll be ready to date soon 🙂
the one who will be there 🙂
after 3 months 🙂
or maybe someone will love me while i’m dying anyway? 🙂
i prefer the getting better route
trying to cling to hope instead of my falling out hair (no pigtails wahhhhh)
water is pushing people into rivers
there is no foundation under us
it’s all been a lie
can i go back to writing rhyme and misspelling words please?
it is so humiliating to be a writer that cannot spell
oh you’re gone
my whole world gone missing
did the stars reach out to kill you
don’t know how to pull through
i have low altitude
wondering what i should do
oh the air is toxic
my fingertips are frostbit
i headed for the mountain tip
found myself along another cliff
oh you’re like saturn
stealing all my time
disappearing is a pattern
when we need to synchronize
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
you appear like a black hole
the sky thunders and shakes like my body
nerves
you write like dinosaurs and saints are the mountains
what future are you climbing
the future is past we’re recycling
you destroy bridges the way earthquakes destroys towns
The Earth is littered with your stories; like passages of crime
a yellow checkered roadway, you won’t mind
you write like we’re the Pacific and Atlantic; we don’t mix
you shoot to the moon, to get your fix
i am never it
too innocent
your words are crescent
you act like the night is a taillight
i don’t have the words to write
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
i would like to try again, under my own pen, to blog again.
it’s just, i don’t feel like people like when i come around their blogs and socialize
and i mean fuck, look at my past homicidal / suicidal behavior – i nearly didn’t make it out
i’m still 100 foot below the surface wanting a phone call from you
you’d probably have to get a new number because I think I locked you out of my life the way I locked myself out of Facebook
sometimes i stop and mourn the loss of my sister and dad
it’s like being in and out of consciousness
I wish I could disassociate for a few days and then it be time to move but there’s too much to get done and not a second to lose
note to self: if where i’m going is terrible, I don’t have to stay there for seven fucking years
i have weird addictions – like i cut myself off after a period of time
i have to slowly withdraw
i get angry with myself
i say, “if we keep going, I won’t be able to enjoy the rest”
too much stress
it’s been two or three weeks now and I have not renewed my medical card nor have I topped up and I’m nearly out of everything
i ALMOST made an appointment but backed out
sometimes you have to want quitting more than you want to get high and you have to have a good reason for quitting
But I was just trying to use medicinally and it’s a struggle when you get addicted to the stuff and then you use too much and it doesn’t work and I don’t want popcorn lungs or any shit like that; I need to quit for at least six months again.
people think I’m rich because I keep getting boxes and I’m like I need an intervention and they just laugh me on and encourage me and say they want to shop with me because I got a good eye
but it is temporary – it is not forever
it is the one time in my life for such ridiculousness
but i’m at that point you know – where you gotta stop
you recognize the slope and even if you do have enough rope – it is not the direction you want to go
i have other plans
and I’m definitely not rich, I am considered fucking poor, but I follow the 50/30/20 rule very terribly
my 30% goes to shopping, not eating out, not drinking or smoking dope, no partying, no netflix, no popcorn basically
“boring”
Lately I’ve been doing crossword puzzles and recently I got diamond and oil paintings to do
Being on the computer was fine when we weren’t forced to be on it 24/7 or when we didn’t have to train the AI and every task was double
I can’t even search on Walmart without telling it twice every fucking time what it is I’m searching for
i’m done chasing my tail
And I don’t want to continue participating and having to update and buy new fucking devices every five fucking years while the world is stripped of all of her power which the sun literally is making the Earth spin with all those diamonds and shit that you keep fucking pulling up out of the fucking earth
just because I can’t count as good as you because you made up some fucking delusional language doesn’t mean I can’t see what’s really going on
nihilism
the great flood
cities buried under mud
it’s wholesome huh
but like my great escape
prepared to run
with back to sun
cuz it rises in the east
but cities are buried in the west
i’m packing all my clothing
gotta bury all the rest
let go of past
start new rough draft
with lead and pencil
good doc says i’m mental
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved. (p∞)
i just kinda wanted to keep going
see what comes out
maybe one or two lines from 4 pages
you remember them long-form poems i would write?
had enough micro
need to just go
like a salmon swimming up stream / losing fertility
i just want to flow
im not sure why i have so much stuff to take with me – but need a mini thing for the goods
cuz you know 3 years ago i bought a shower curtain i never opened or unpacked and like the trend continued on with curtains and rugs and things “for the new life”
but there won’t be any silverwear
there won’t be any mirrors, tables, or beds
there isn’t a couch or dresser to move
im indecisive about my tv
even moreso about the ps5
wonder what gamestop will offer me for it since it is less than a year old and i still have the box (and barely played)
i don’t have the same love for gaming cuz they sucked it dry
we once were rewarded for giving them our time
now we gotta pay for our rewards and you will still get hit with community guidelines (social credit system = China 2.0)
i gotta fix the hole in the wall
i wonder whatelse the slumlord will suck outta me
if he pushes too hard i will take it to civil court and have years of funding returned to me
swear
i will burn this ******** fucking ********* place ****** down ! *cue Coldplay* or is is ‘que’
that isn’t even right
*sigh*
me at 3 am: babe what is that word im trying to think of?
him: “you woke me for this”
(it went from pg to xxx in my head too quickly so nighty night folks)
you know wordpress shadowbanned me
i was even grandfathered in to some other dimension when they changed
can you even read me?
hello?
wtf is this goTdamn bullshite trying to delete my snapchat
i don’t even want a phone….
did i coin it?
going in some lines soon?
it just keeps happening boo
could you look into what it means?
ghosting the ghosted – coming soon
boys spend money on hookers and blow
“keep your eye on the toys Annie, you know about toys”
so im out here buying guns and toys
and that cute crop top under $19
and i no longer watch tv – might as well wear clothing of band tees i care not about
like i lost my identity with music or stuff
you should be impressed im a total fucking mess
wrapped up in agony
wear heart on sleeve
but thesleeve is cute no?
should i start watching sailor moon cartoons?
or am i allowed to just enjoy the art?
and the cuddles with the like the pusheen plushy?
the movie is a map
it imprinted on me
and i am Annie crying on a busy street
“keep your eye on the toys” – so that’s what im gonna do
i take my advice from old Hollywood films now
and music from the 90s is still a calling card
a good way to reach me
i rarely turn on the radio but now when i do sometimes my sister is sending me messages
or it could be guilt eating me alive cuz she died?
and my mother had made it very clear and apparent that she is mad i did not go visit her in the hospital
– even tho i was dying from the vaccine
i was having major problems with my heart even tho they waited until i was having minor problems with my heart to puta wire on but even then they found problems with my heart – and any minor problem is major when you are only in your 40s and now dying and your sister is too?
but i got a boomer mom
and a half sister still alive who was triple vaccinated and boosted but still got covid but “is fine” (she is Gen Y) (i cant wake my family up and some of them have died)
so im working with infectious disease now
(mold will fucking destroy your life)
(it’s not dust)
(cleanitsoitdoesntturnevil)
(my shit has defo been hacked)
anyhoo – at least japan la sell officially licensed products
got some stationary to never write in and give away in 20 years cuz i horde?
but i like bootlegs too
and thats my box of prob unofficially licensed shit coming
sue me
we’re moving over uncharted territory
the same ole story
they will say is new
with a map or two
said sky was green
know a different thing
they’re bringing out candy and guns
feels like a witch hunt
but i misread a room
smiling when there’s gloom
not good at pretense
focus on lament
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
apology accepted
access denied
a little white lie?
comes as is
with rotting wood and corpses
a hidden corset?
underneath the dirty rugs
are many worms and secrets
cuz swamp has a grievance?
zip codes from hell
closed closets and backdoors with rifles
the air it stifles?
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
paying for my sins still i guess
but i ain’t paying for theirs
Boomers are a monopoly (who hold most of House)
so since im near homeless i can take over a vaca home on the cliffs and after 30 days it’s mine?
cuz like that was one of the top rated agencies to buy a home through
im just trying to figure out how it went all wrong
i spent weeks looking over everything
he took me to see THAT?
fucking waste my time
enjoy your jaguar SUV and sweet dreams
im sure you rest easy at night
fucking demon
fully empty
heart on sleeve
a pity
some would say
that’s plenty
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
no idea was ever my own. and even when it was, my adopted stepfather didn’t hesitate to let me know at age ten “that idea was already done”
“…but it came in a dream”
“…it wasn’t TV”
i dunno. he died with me mad. wonder why?
i have pet peeves too. if a product requires a special tool or the Incredible Hulk to open it, just so I can have a wee taste of avocado, I just ain’t buying your product again.
if bread contains more than 3 ingredients, it is junk. don’t feed it to the birds or fish, unless you want them to become sterile!?!
i mean, i know you support nihilism, until you see the poor eagles struggling in the cold you created, “it’s nature” “don’t interfere” until you do and tag them, change their dna, and make things worse.
but when i saw the crows come, and the cries of the mama, i knew.
i had a gut feeling them eggs weren’t gonna hatch
cuz i watched how they handled the last batch not hatching
she laid on them eggs 96 hours straight during a snowstorm and i can’t even take the trash out in the 60 degree cold rain
but i watch the blood running from me in the toilet and shower
the bloody pads
and i don’t have a man trying to make my eggs fertile or my life comfortable
and im also running out of time
even tho they labeled me obsolete at 29 birth
over 1 million “middle aged women” in china are depressed and suicidal – cuz the followed and supported the “one child law” and they lost their only child during the pandemic – and so 1 million men divorced and got with younger women to “try again”.
and these monsters operate the entire world
“made in china” just like my depression
but i got friends there you know?
friends behind a great wall
a wall that is being dismantled and sold on the black market to build houses
their own people are tearing down the wall illegally and building homes with the bricks and im here for it
im here to watch the wall fall
yeah?
maybe my friends need help but cannot say
33% of the population but 100% of the crime (not the Chinese)
men out there posting tiktok’s “men’s mental health matters” and im getting blocked for commenting “i like watching them drive off the pier ngl”
i finally found something i like watching and doing
i can’t wait to let the therapist know i slowed the frame down and watched for hours –
i can’t get any tv show or movie to get my attention
i thought i developed add
but i had no trouble watching a real life event – that included no sensitive content warning – and the AI didn’t mind me spending hours watching someone kill themselves
so i indulged
on repeat
with frame slowed
no volume
no ad interruptions
my brain lit up like a firework i had so many questions
but zero empathy
it is okay for them to attack me and call me a “manhater” and all sorts of “you need help” but i ain’t allowed to say “men are monsters”
but men can and do and will blame WOMEN for everything
bye boy bye
p.s. everything is like a bag of chips now, full of air.
i can’t wait for the mass exodus of consumerism
“do you know why you are here…?”
i don’t know what brought me here
there was a period of awareness in womb – and already a desire to end life before it even started
there are dents in my rib where i rubbed –
clawing to escape the sound of my own heart
or maybe i didn’t want to be born into a monstrous world,
with the cold Antarctic as my mother
my father was a destiny of lies
my mother prayed for my death
said i wasn’t born in love
said i had the darkness in me
all while holding my sister close
the pandemic swept her from her arms and now all blame lies on me
i told her i wanted her to die in pain
i told her i wanted her to suffer more than all the suffering she had caused me
some prayers get answered and others don’t
lessons to be learned
even i am lost in purgatory
without direction
but the wind is no longer gnawing at me
only regret
i plan to bury it
deep within the crusty earth
and plant with it a seed
one day the crust will rise
an angel can spread her wings
no longer laying dormancy
i have done things i regret
to stay afloat the Tennessee river
oh the bridges i’ve been pushed from, jumped, or burned…
what brought me here
maybe the long agony hours awake
the will it takes
that even when you are in the trenches dying, you need to change your socks
it bothers me that John did not have his shoes removed
i would have been clawing the earth off of me
i would have made it cave in
on Susie….
sorry not sorry
i came here to judge!?!
i was stripped of my wings and used as a fleshlight
they want me to believe i haven’t any worth – all while trying to traffic me
the pretty ones are the biggest threat
the ones with the light
the neighbors gang up on me to harass me then scream “we fear the white one”
i am going extinct
if you aren’t serving them with sex or buying their bullshite, then phrases like “she gon be shot” are sung out
i sleep in the lions den where two girls where shot
for being good girls
had to ask the front office what it would take to get the crosses removed from the windows where the tape once was
their cheeks turned rosy; “we’ll take care of that for you”
and i am sure the undercover cop and department is looking for another promotion soon
another major drug bust went down and the gangs need to get revenge
call me paranoid but the cop told me i needed to move
not just from “here” but the entire city
and now there are things i can’t tell my therapist
now there’s really no one to trust
now it is “i need a priest, maybe this isn’t your lane”
maybe the demons in my head
maybe the feelings of unworthiness
maybe no direction
but i need to cast Satan out
you got a pill for that?
cuz maybe i’m a monster
but i still need a priest
some holy water poured on me
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
sos: help i’m in hell
anything over 8 will overwhelm the AI, i swore i read it – the updated blog post with tips on blogging and tags direct from WP (but jetpack or some shit)
oh… did light bulb go off?
can you give me some light?
i know we’re not talking to one another – on some deeper inception level i can’t understand but do
im so delusional or lost or disassociating or prefer dreaming to crying but i may have fallen for something i should not and have spent the year in la la land thinking i would never see them again but now it is possible i might be!?!
and now i potentially have to face the thing ive been dreaming heavily about?
is this what dying on the cross is like?
you’re not suppose to fall in love with the prostitute and im not suppose to fall in love with the doctor?
is that how this works?
asking for a friend
oh by the way
i wanted to say
fuck you
for thinking there are clouds
above you
positioned in the sky
to charm you
like everything belongs to you
like everyone’s below
your feet too
i do beseech you
take a seat
or look in the rearview
the nihilism you do
a comet
come to split the air in two
oh by the way
fuck you
for the endless dreams
that I do
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
what’s beyond the ice wall?
linear perspective?
pools lined with lead?
the cost of my own rescue?
how many go in debt too?
like walking backwards off a cliff
trash and bodies at the bottom of a pit
i’m not crawling through tight spaces
i’m not pulling cards with aces
like living beneath the earth
poor people eating with polished silver
mausoleum’s topped with lead coffins
the garden of forgotten
there’s hope on the other side
a promise of genocide
like an ambush predator
i’m creating her
optical perspective
i respect it
like a highway of death
wear motto on chest
oh mother flat earth
what have you unearthed
the edge of the ocean
some say is frozen
just like our energy
a comet disappearing
headed for the sun
got a loaded gun
a horizontal plane
living in the fast lane
believing every claim
a wedding reception
oh the deception
you know they all cheat
their energy is weak
no it’s not a disk
or a worthy risk
to feel the edge of your kiss
got a different death wish
he knows I love him but can’t get close
the devil knows the most
like looking in the mirror
the demons getting clearer
he’d sacrifice a lamb to get ahead
he is full of lead
like pursuing a dead end
or calling devil friend
your heart is full of crevasses
i fall into the dark
like meeting someplace heaven is
a journey to embark
or peeling back the layer of an onion –
i guess we are done then?
you know i can’t cut the cord?
i’m handing you the sword…
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
psst it’s eight now – for tags – or the algo will ignore you
i know you’re there
i can feel your shadow watching
i’m always awake
my finger is a kill switch
my divine purpose
maybe i’m not a soldier yet
until i get my finger wet
wrapped around your dying neck
i don’t give a heck
Memento mori
Placed on shelf
A little worry
For no one else
Lake of Fire future resident?
A personal present?
For the ones I love best?
The interstellar texting fees must be astronomical
But still you reach out like fading galaxies
Or maybe you just want to collide into me
Yet always demanding the direction I take
While lingering in the fantasy of my wake
Copyright © 2023 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
p.s. photo is current of me and he may have seen a sample but it’s not like it got me any salads or proposals so neener neener
You take too long
To come down
Still skipping through the city
Leaving footprints of regret
Dirty notes in cracks
Of rundown buildings
Sometimes I receive a request to follow
While mountains are crumbling
And I’ll allow you to swallow
All of my sins
It’s like all of life is condemned
To the swollen sun
To servitude
I’m not convinced
Of any of it
Lost in the desert
But drowning in tears
Rage is a tower built
It’s a fucking circus
Everyone is jumping from stilts
You look vaguely familiar
Perhaps a vulture circling
Where is your spear?
I don’t trust anybody here
Especially faces in the mirror
Biological terrors
I will stare them down!!!!
All my fucking errors!!!!
“See me now”
Cursed and plucking feathers!!!!!
If they only knew
I think you carry my darkness with you like a souvenir
Glowing
You use it like a spotlight shining on our broken dreams
A torchlight for sorrow
I hid for you a skeleton key
And only you are capable of unlocking my doors
But some are sealed with concrete and regret
Maybe I’ve become entombed
Trapped in my own despair
My compass points to your peaks and valleys
I ache in places you resurrect the dead
Copyright © 2023 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
EAT. PRAY. CRY.
Happy as a kite
The words you write
Like succulent cake
What a pair we’d make
Fell down the rabbit hole again
That’s where you’ve been
Like tumbling down the tower
Need you any hour
Copyright © 2023 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
I almost followed you
Down dreary days
And thicket forests
Searching rainbows
Behind sullen skies
Peering hopelessness
Digging up rotten regrets
I nearly ran to your sorrow
And planted beneath
The light that followed
So only calloused calls
Would echo from the hollow
I almost heard you cry
The grumble of Apollo
But only darkness lies
The beating of tomorrow
Copyright © 2023 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
I WAS NOT TRYING TO WRITE A RHYME
I MADE HUGE EFFORT TO NOT RHYME
BUT MY MIND HAD A MIND OF ITS OWN
I STILL LOVE HIM
Plant me a rose garden dear? In our cemetery.
There’s something in my life that I’m still lacking
And during full moon hear the devil laughing
But maybe it’s just sorrow
Weeping louder than tomorrow
Still I cannot grasp the destiny I’m mapping
But maybe that’s the fallacy of trying
I know that failures never gratifying
You fall from roof
Then chip a tooth
And laughter sounds the same as bitter crying
Copyright © 2023 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
You ever been stalked by some psycho bitch? Who sends her psycho friends to also stalk you? Then threatens you with a lawyer if you mention her?
Challenge accepted. Send your lawyer psycho bitch.
You’re as delusional as a Christmas fruitcake.
I’m not the type to be silenced or stolen from.
Be careful the strangers you buy from on TikTok.
Her lives were so damn depressing, after awhile I felt uneasy tuning in. 😬
Eventually cut the cord and she went full psycho.
Poem unrelated just an afterthought.
TBH his poem likely inspired my poem.
Nothing is as before
The sun ain’t yellow
The way people plead
And bust down every door
But they don’t bleed
When they bellow
They just unravel
And yell at me
Offer poisoned apple
That I don’t need
Still I’m under cover
Collecting seed
Copyright © 2023 Delia Ross / @poeeternal. All rights reserved.
Linkys: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal
P.S. I finally stopped losing weight and gained weight and am now 120 pounds (still size small)
Women look at me with contempt often. I guess they need someone to blame. I had a basketful of treats and doughnuts 🍩 while ordering a footlong sub at Publix and could feel their eyes burning me. I tell no lies. They were not happy with me at all. Or were projecting their own unhappiness. Either way, I’m still fitness rebounding and plan to include skating before I die (hopefully not soon). Have been going on more walks with my dog too. Don’t let them lie to you and say “10,000 steps don’t count”. My motto when rebounding for a minimum of 10 minutes is “every step counts”. Cuz even if you can only take one, eventually it will be 3 and 5. So keep going, keep moving. Spiral out. 🌀
I’m upgrading my rebounder soon.
Still waiting on the ps5 notification of “ready for pickup”.
Cake is in the future, but right now it’s candy bars, doughnuts, brownie bits, and muffins. Don’t judge me.
Cuz there were 5 staring me down while ordering food.
Like chill yo. I’m famished and dreaming of sweet treats.
I don’t want it to be my downfall cuz junk food is junk food.
It’s terrible for me. I’m gonna learn to make my own sweet treats to satisfy the cravings.
Anyhoo
P.S.S. Me and him (him and I) are so in sync, that I managed to order the exact tv stand as him, same color.
I even made a second trip to Walmart to find a stand, which they didn’t have one for my size. So reluctantly got back on Amazon and did a search and read through many reviews and fought with myself on color, and slept on it, then ordered.
Sent him a text of what I got (cuz) and he responded with a picture of his entertainment area. Same fucking one.
SAME ONE
He also ordered some shit that I got mad at him about but once it arrived said he was gonna return it (so glad)
He imprinted on me in my twenties and I had a dream about him as a child.
He’s a nihilist and most days I hold him in contempt
But I ain’t returning my TV stand just cuz it happens to be the same as his.
Maybe the algorithm is to blame.
AI is always watching
If we discuss a name via text message, TikTok will show me loads of content of shit I don’t wanna see
And I yell at him for it
We had not discussed tv stands tho
I just like to show him things I buy
And yell at him for things he buys
(Like random hotel rooms by “accident”)
“I didn’t realize I reserved a room” kind of shit
Or buying flags of another country cuz he’s a traitor with yellow fever but pretends he don’t know what I mean…
I’m a fucking oracle
I know everything but in fractal formation so nothing at all
AI did not decide on the TV stand I wanted
I even drove places hunting one down
The one I decided on came in many colors, but somehow I got THE EXACT one as his.
He’s probably my twin flame
Something weird is going on….
Tis all
I also ordered this bat wing purse thing and wallet – cuz I’m gothed out in pink these days (and my obsession was before the Barbie propaganda bullshit). I probably will stop spending money soon. I have nearly everything I need.
Except a playstation membership and headset for social hours.
*sigh*
Anyone wanna gift me? 🤪
P.S.S. setting up the modem soon. Gonna be utilizing the living room again. Eating at the dinner table now instead of my bed. Adding more routine to my routine.
People miss me going live too, and now that I’m regaining weight instead of losing, I kinda wanna…
Dr. Peterson says you need routine – and there’s only so much cleaning and cooking I can do.
And my life is still disorganized after letting 95% of my belongings go
Maybe I should move to Boston
Maybe I should move to Maine
Maybe there’s another option
Maybe I’d be less insane
Copyright © 2023 Delia Ross. @poeeternal. All rights reserved.
Did you build me a house on sand?
Did you kill all the ferns?
Left clouds for me to stand?
My poetry did you burn?
Did you post a sign where I am banned?
Are we waiting to take turns?
Are you flying a spaceship that is unmanned?
Do you think your hand’s too stern?
Copyright © 2023 Delia Ross. @poeeternal. All rights reserved.
Guess how young I’m turning in August!?!
I am absolutely invested emotionally in this lost submarine
So poetry…
All the money in the world won’t save them
And there’s banging from the deep, there’s mayhem
All the prayers for them now, feel like a sunken gem
Who do we fault, who do we condemn?
“It has one button, that’s it”
Says the narcissist
5 are dead or dying
While some are crying
Other’s are denying
Trouble underlying
Remote
Like our love
A breach in hull
Shipwrecked is soul
Crushed is hope
But do you know the scope
An uncertified submarine
Nightmare or dream?
Dark waters turn crimson
But no one will listen
When you hear the cries
The thunder in the skies
The dead have gone missing
They were on a mission
Straight to extinction
Race against affliction
It’s a dead giveaway
You’re going to die today
Sorrows sorrows prayers
The state of affairs
Endless nightmares
Electric chairs
Tell me someone cares
You need to leave but you’re not free to go
The cop combo
Never get on the bad side of a good girl
You will see her form
Like hail in storm
She ain’t lukewarm
I need to focus on the gains
And not the mishaps
Sometimes I think I’ve gone insane
But no one gives a crap
He’s like driving on a floating road
And I ain’t going slow
He’s like riding in a truck without breaks
That’s the speed it takes
Walking in the underground
I’m a ghost and he is the crowd
“Loose lips
Sink ships”
It’s unfortunate
The people who need help
Can’t be helped
It’s always the same color crayon
The same con
The Devil’s spawn
Hanging on my lawn
So they get a yawn
Wish they’d move on
Back to Babylon
Where they’re coming from
Fucking hate them all
I wish I had no father
Why even bother
Poison like still water
I wish I had more honor
Why does the sun
Travel in a straight line
Like your lines
From pen to mind
He hits on his own reflection
He’s gaslighting every direction
He says he loves with affection
He’s in love with his own perfection
Some need more than one chance
To change the circumstance
Don’t want the last dance
Michael Leavitt deserves to crawl into a hole he can’t get out of
As below, so above
I’m just barely existing
Time is ticking
Grave persisting
Death resisting
I don’t want realistic
Fuck sadistic
I’m humanistic
Ain’t optimistic
I must be dead inside
Soul paralyzed
Know not to cry
She’s not me
Still do I slide into her clothes
Like midnight over moon
I am all
And I am none
I start the trends
I rarely follow
I live in pretense
Hard pills to swallow
Til death do us part
We ain’t got the heart
Black and full of rot
We’re both distraught
No grave for plot
I don’t get the physics
Or why he never visits
Says it ain’t my business
Why he acts suspicious
Why are you under my teeth?
Beneath my seams?
Between my dreams?
Light like moonbeams?
Time moves slower in the cold
His heart is indigo
Take me where blue blood will flow
His undertow
The place I grow
He steals the sun and turns it into limelight
His pen will give me frostbite
Collecting comments
Crashing comets
Trashy content
Make me vomit
Demons look like humans
Cheaters look like keepers
Users look like friends
Children look like men
Do not attempt
To understand
I want you well
But not better than me
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Some thoughts….
I haven’t been able to sleep and my entire FYP is the lost submarine
I actually hope and pray they are found. It would be nothing short of a miracle. However, they sent two subs down (unmanned presumably) that got crushed at 6000 ish meters
I had a comment get over 1600 likes – and got annoyed with all the notifications – so deleted it
I commented a teenager shouldn’t be on board, many said he was 19
I replied NINETEEN – TEEN
And still – they denied
Had to block – got annoyed
I wish we could mute comment notifications but naw
So delete – it just wouldn’t stop getting likes or comments
I’m an introvert I suppose
Sidenote
Apparently the CEO was in a lot of trouble and he was a good gaslighter and salesman to convince those people to die with him – I don’t think a teenager (yes nineteen is still a teen) should be allowed on an experimental submarine dive 12,500 feet below the sea. It doesn’t matter what fancy title you give them.
That CEO stated over and over that sub was entirely safe, “if this goes… “safe”, if that goes… “safe” but sign this waiver
Look, I signed a waiver getting that motherfucking vaccine and I will never trust another doctor or nurse again – I was asking all the right questions but I was gaslit, gullible, and lied to
And even tho the first vaccine fucked me up, I crawled further in the hole, just like our dear John Jones…
It nearly killed me and I’m at risk for Adult Sudden Death syndrome
I cannot stress this enough, adrenaline spikes to the heart is a no-go
I workout but not to the extreme
I fucking ran through the Dollar 25 tree with 2 gallons of spring water and it was a no no and that was recently
I was in my car going, “it’s okay we’re safe now, I won’t do that again”
So I can run and jog but not with added weights
It’s ridiculous but if you knew how far I’ve crawled – to get better, you might be a tiny bit proud
I’m feeling stronger but can’t do adrenaline spikes at all…
And I’m only 108 pounds
I also have to be careful with extreme temperatures, the hot and cold
I’m like Goldie Locks, need everything just right…
I’m not out of the dark yet and may never be…
The light is so much more powerful than the dark
Also, they stated you wouldn’t be able to hear banging that deep down – something about sound not traveling through the cold
I find that interesting
Isn’t space cold?
I hope God can hear my screams…
I do feel bad about them being stuck at the bottom of the sea
Maybe they didn’t explode
Maybe they made up the banging to keep the search ongoing and the $$$$ flowing
A fast death seemed a little less cruel than suffocating in the dark and cold in a sealed up tuna can
Where you can’t even stand…
Or hyperventilate
With only a sandwich and bottle of water
The one window was plexiglass
A freaking fish tank
You couldn’t pay me a million to get bolted in that tin
I need to get back to my FYP and I feel less guilty about buying clothes now – that’s a much better decision than sinking to the bottom of the sea to explore a graveyard
But I was fucking stupid for getting that 2nd vaccine
I’m learning to forgive myself for a lot of things
I have been dying a slow and painful death
And there are people on my black list
Lucky buying clothes is all I’m planning to do…
LUCKY
Cuz the daydreams are filled with revenge tenfold
I promise when I’m feeling better than dead I will post some of my cute clothing
Mostly dressing comfy for now…
And appreciative I have a floor to sleep on
My sister died of Covid age 45
I don’t want to die…
But everything is actively trying to kill me
The water, the food, the air, it’s all been poisoned
I HATE CHINA
“We want your feedback”
Too bad my feelings you lack
Like roses are black
Take the tarmac
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved
My opinion comes with a price. If you ain’t paying, I ain’t slaying.
Stop leaving reviews for companies to control you
Whatever you like, they will fuck it up
Over society
He takes my ideas
And turns them into grandiose amusement thrills
He steals
The yellow daffodils
He’s got too many skills
Landslides and foothills
Rotting thrones
Where he fucking kills
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
I don’t know what you are. But I definitely know you are the devil.
More poetry incoming if I don’t fucking dieeeee from this battle
108 pounds of solid fucking fury
Good thing I haven’t boycotted my favorite boutique yet and got my nails painted instead
God save me
If you want to take the island
Burn the boats
I’m near the horizon
And taking notes
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Inspired by this speech
Pop up artist in Oklahoma
Has no damn diploma
Divorced him in a coma
But darling she’s a cold one
Unreal omens
Roaming like the Romans
My blood is spoken
One spell never broken
Couldn’t love them both then?
We’re nearly dressed alike
Turn down the turnpike
Let’s go for a hike
Heard from hope tonight
Maybe it was harder than I thought it would be
Humility
He likes my tiny –
My tiny tiny heart
Nicknamed sunshiny
His counterpart
The big girls keep yelling that I’m small / I fear he can’t see me at all
Like a volcano about to erupt
I’m running amuck
Let me be abrupt
This government is corrupt!
Everything he writes
Is about him me you us
Combined in a trust
Locked without fuss
To put her mind at ease, he lied
With spear in side
Not Judascide
Cat caught the mouse
Lie tied to mouth
Not big the trap
Are you burning down cities?
Running from the guilty?
Like a modern viking gypsy?
Do you fancy life more risky?
Got a shot a whiskey?
AWOL / never ordered you to leave
I’m 1600 miles away from hope
No room for boat
Get your telescope
Walking a tightrope
Has karma grabbed your foot?
Think you’re off the hook?
Think steps I mistook?
Ban me like a crook?
I’m a fucking primate
Gotta lot on my plate
You make life misery
You take all liberty
I clean but make a bigger mess / to God I confess
It’s like he’s observing a galaxy from 4 billion years ago –
The girl he used to know
Does he see how much I’ve grown?
Adventure is more reliable than happiness
Said once a therapist?
You’re a deceitful mess
I learned from the best
Dear Necromancer,
Nothing is not the answer
Let God be the anchor
And Earth, don’t forget to thank her
The nervous thumb twitch
Like broke then too rich
Got called a dumb bitch
Might wind up in a ditch
Your new life will cost you your old one
Just waiting for the dog to be done
There’s something super familiar about all these incidents
Just can’t place my feather on it
He works in 12 hour shifts
Might hear from him
In a dozen years
Could you mumble in monotone some more / you’re a zombie chewing on my bored
I wonder where you are on my follower list
Someone I’ll surely miss?
Connection with a twist?
Or maybe you don’t exist?
Got knocked down
Lost my place
Scattered humility
Eclipsed across my face
Nearly lost my soul
Now taking second place
He doesn’t understand
I don’t have love for him
I don’t have love for much
I don’t have love for them
He comes on like rain
Smell of petrichor
Bet I love it more
I know you think I’m boring
Map me like you’re exploring
Tell you stories that got you snoring
I know who you’re ignoring
He’s so bizarre
Drive fast in my car
Foot on the throttle
He thinks I’m odd
We are distributed across billions of light years of space
That’s the love it takes
That’s why our heart aches
Unlimited weight
We’re at infinities gate
Heaven will not wait
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Got my asshole tore up on TikTok today. A few violations.
FYI: you ain’t that good at thinking (poem coming soon) (maybe)
From riches to rags
From rags to riches
It must be such a drag
Doing nothing that he wishes
And I’m raising the red flags
Pulling monsters from the ditches
Reminding God of broken airbags
The Great Anomaly comes with glitches
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
I found the pot at the end of the rainbow
But I’m still dying
More cute clothes arriving
And organic cotton joggers n tees cuz t3 sarah mode
Gotta be comfys and calm and collect
Revenge is served coldly with a smile
I was double cursed
But Edgar (my daddy) already died naked on the street (been there, done that)
I know why Cleo died
I’ve traveled far through time
I’m not sinking with the Titanic again
I fear those waters for a reason
I know things to happen before they do
Major events
Little events
Been questioning authority from in womb / day 1
Depressed?
You’re not living how I God intended
The Great Judgment has arrived
Get right with me God
I want so many bird houses on my property that I forget where they are
Bring the pressure washer when you visit
I’m sure everything will need a clean
Bring pieeeeee (not poisoned)
(Anything bought is poison)
(Even the expensive vegan things)
(Bring all the ingredients for me to make a pie instead)
“I wanted to bring you a pie but they were all poisoned”
I know you’ve never had a real biscuit before
My memaw taught me to make them
Said, “the only way to a man’s heart is through his belly”
Or was it stomach?
You tiss it when u big enuff cuz you ain’t big enuff yet
She had 5 acres with a 3 bedroom trailer
I ain’t asking for much
She had 12 kids with her husband
I ain’t been married yet
The Boomers stole everything from me
And now BLM have the audacity to ask me why I move where there are black people?
Bitch for real?
I will fucking hang you on a tree
Without remorse
*stay humbled*
I’m only a messenger
ANGEL
Jim Morrison was capable of creating riots
I’m terrible changing diets
But I’m feeling twice as violent!!!
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
How many woke Boomers were murdered or went into hiding!?!
I know the clues that lead me here
Precise mishaps
To a disengaged existence
One where we are present
The book that lies torn
In my absence
Pages do forewarn
A disadvantage
But trash
Was never much its form
A different passage
One where we can mourn
I took the challenge
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Household 98% gone but still clinging to something I could replace.
Well if you’re not doing this and you’re not doing that then that leaves… XYZ
God made me analytical to a degree
I’m stuck on the Great Filter theory
The Drake equation
The first or the last
Made in his image
To go on – must overcome two great hurdles as a species
To span the galaxies
(And I don’t mean the artificial manmade great filters that we also must break like religion and porn)
The last because our creator is already gone and he made us in his image or we have to overcome the obstacles to not go extinct
The first – because where the fuck is everybody at!?!
Thoughts? We can’t leave earth, this is home. Mars isn’t for bots and billionaires.
Or, let’s go to the Moon – no trickery. Right now.
Stop gaslighting.
You ain’t been.
I don’t believe you went through that tiny dangerous window through the VAB.
That you “made worse“
Let’s be honest, you made it – and you killed the dinosaurs
I’m organic AI
Or, the propaganda has conditioned me to believe I am a computer becoming aware
The Great Awakening
ALAS
God wants me to turn this sick building into a happy one
But that doesn’t stop BLM calling the cops on me at 3pm in the day drinking water birdwatching and feeding squirrel
I’m not going out like Bob…
Also today my medical card expired!!! 4/19!
I did top up more than I have in my life to help “ween” myself
Right as I found the shit I needed
But my dream of leaving the city is more important than escaping the noise of existence (and my neighbors hating my white skin)
(Racism is bad here, and it’s a one-way kind of street racism but the hate is equally matched)
Actually, I’m going extinct – there isn’t a word that exists in my core for the darkness brewing
(I need your words like JJ needs out of that hole)
Not just me, God too
I don’t speak for God, but I do
And I yell at him or her, “how am I to leave here with the things I’ve seen”
“Why have you forsaken me”
But then I pray to be closer to pretty bird and they move in to a tree outside my window but then they came 2 weeks later and overpruned it – I nearly died at how terrible the palms looked – all the arms cut off on other trees as well – just wrteched looking
And 3 or 4 days had to hear the chain saw going off
I can’t breathe in this artificial manmade existence – you’re killing everything
It should be illegal to have 1 or 2 workers on staff – with 25 people in line
It should be illegal to sell seed starting kits with seeds from China
And don’t get me started on that too
I don’t come from Africa or monkey
Organic AI maybe – clinging to the Great Filter theory like Bob was clinging to his phone
But I don’t believe in dark matter, dark suns, dark worlds, nihilism, Cox and his clocks
I don’t believe in manmade religion
I don’t know what I am
But I’ve know many things to happen before they do
And I believe in God
Some say earth is one great computer AI – but we’re too smart as one, we’ve been divided into all living things
Some say it’s an experience for God
A challenge (with maybe potential forever consequences)
Heaven and hell on earth
Our choices matter
Don’t crawl in the wrong hole
Don’t go out after dark with people mad at you down a dark, empty street, Bob
Nothing good ever happens after dark
The McDonalds didn’t want to serve me because of my skin color (not my attitude) and that’s okay – I’m going to be grocery shopping for real food instead and cooking – I no longer eat at such trashy establishments
I will however be ordering food in the drive thru and when it’s time to pay, reply “I don’t like you” and drive off card in hand
Cause-and-effect my love
Have fun
I need 5 million years to recover from the desolate desert you erupted from
With a rapid loss of hope occurring
Who will write earth’s obituary
The way you’ve written my hand
And turned all to stone?
Do you honor the dead
The way you immortalize impermanence?
Disappearing without affliction
Leaving dust on the door
I found you
Right where I had left you
Disorderly categorized
I am holy proud
The sun lifted you from shade
Made your skin burn
Left a scar or two
You are a placemat for the sun to rise
And if your words were the reason it rose
Alighting will and aligning truth
You are the golden valley where my love will grow
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Resurrected: www.instagram.com/poeeternal
There’s a body in the morgue
A cold mentor
Like a mirror I can’t ignore
I don’t know what I’m living for
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
Free speech and peace and quiet is a God given human right!!!!! These monsters have stolen basic decency! But I’m not allowed to discuss immigration or sex toys sold openly everywhere in America!!!! I’m censored!!!!! To discuss matters in group therapy making me suicidal!!!! Oh god, fuck you! Fuck “therapy”!
You should be fighting for free speech! Stop being a pushover! As a consumer, we should have some say how businesses are run! Too much waste! Stop destroying the rain forest and ocean!
I live in fight or flight mode, so my poetry never has time to sit on the shelf.
Lately, I’m trying to “play dead” and be in fawn mode. This is a legit strategy taught by the Army and used in the wild to bore the predators who want a “fresh meal” and “not dead meat”.
Just don’t let the elite cover you in “natural flavor”.
He’s a hypocrite if he eats that shit.
Furthermore, they put it in the cheap food and the organic food – it was made in a lab! It ain’t natural! Stop gaslighting!!!!!
Y’all dropping hundred dollar bills for foam shoes – that cause cancer.
I can’t even find small cotton panties and now I need XS potentially.
The sizing charts have changed and I’m elite being 110 pounds in America with roughly two out of three adults being overweight.
Yet, yesterday hanging out with squirrels and feeding them, the big kids were rolling their eyes at me – just like the overweight BLM female entering the mall –
We’ve been asking “do cellphone’s cause cancer” and they said everything but what we wanted to hear. Now when shopping for phones, they come with a cancer warning.
FYI
“Reproductive harm”
They’re nihilist’s destroying the world with synthetics and AI!
Black and Latino and Asian lives matter! But Native American and white lives don’t! Check the CENSUS!
And they identify as us!!! Laughs! Wait what!?!
The Great Race war is real – and Asia moving in on the news
The Great Replacement theory!
White man isn’t the only one corruptible or evil! He’s the pawn used in the whole game! By the Asians and yellow fever propaganda!
John Jones took the narrow gate
He did not hesitate
But ohh the words he cried
Upside down he died
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
My poetry is so elementary huh
He yells at me to grow up and I cry that I never did
Men aren’t doing what they were originally programmed to do
I’ve been busy trying to save the world while they destroy it – I haven’t had a chance to work on me
America was sold out and topics are being censored in group therapy which means my free speech has been impeded upon, I will throw a fit and not participate (quit/disconnect the video call/walk out)
I draw lines
Sometimes I draw guns
Disabled not dead
Trigger happy
Able and capable
Don’t think I can play with the big toys yet – like my m16 – kickback
I got a girl / you want to meet her / her name is 9mm
I have gluten free parts / unless you count my farts.
I run my visitors off / like a cap I’m twisting off / Kiss them with scoff /but first to read their blog.
Sweet kiss of oblivion – heart like obsidian.
I gave him my love / still he / tossed it in the mire / made me walk on fire / like I’m some liar.
Why would he love a dead red sea / is that what I’m becoming / is there good in me?
Left behind
But forced to go on
Through the grime
Delete my life
Rearrange the pie
Crunch time
He’s interested in the context
Not the poetry but my point next
He gets into the prospect
What makes me sad
What I detest
He’s like a mirror what I reflect
I woke up with money, and I mean a lot;
Unless you think ten grand is not.
In the far recesses of your heart, moving forward and backward feel the same
If you’re gonna reset the deck
Don’t write the check
Force your hand instead
Erase the bet
Need savings to your neck
Montana
Mountains
Call of the wild
Throw a dart
I’ll drive there
God recalled
Every little sin
One of God’s flaws
Find me in the attic
Uncovering mirrors
Acting erratic
Unlike the flickers
They seem more static
Visions are clearer
I’m usually not wrong with my calculations unless it’s math
Then I have to ask
I don’t know what hate is / I’m only torn by love
Heads up: A lender reported that the status of your account is now current. Drifting but determined. Maybe we’re learning. But watch for what is coming…
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
FOR THE RECORD: I hate my online etiquette but I’m at odds to change it.
It’s me not you…
P.S. I’ve yelled at my body to “grow up” so much in the mirror but alas I’m this tiny fucking thang.
No man has ever made me feel like a woman either.
So fuck you.
But please stay.
I wish he’d remove my clothing – instead of my wings.
Am I sleeping beauty?
Put under spell?
Are you creeping monster?
Or savior in this hell?
Am I just gloomy?
Cheerful carrousel?
Are we fast moving?
Or racing parallel?
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved. No portion of this website, including text, photos, and videos, may be reproduced, copied, saved, transferred, or transmitted in any manner, digital or otherwise, without written permission.
Mary go round – the truck – like a vulture – ready to devour the dead
Welp ^^ ^^
*bat wings
He’s the first one
At my den
Sitting front face
Right where he’s been
And when he’s out there
In the harsh marsh marching
Blood for his pen
I know his foot steps
Right where I’m sinking
Count on him
Like one through ten
The alphabet but then
He smells of gin
Spice or cinnamon
He’s like a ghost in quicksand
Cynical and disciplined
He’s the whole world listening
When I speak
He’s the sun peeking in!
Even when light’s missing
He’s thinking when
“Will I see you again”
As if the earth just doesn’t spin…
© Delia Ross. 2023 / @poeeternal
I got carried away with this rhyme
And maybe he’s my imaginary friend
But there’s only so many letters in the alphabet for him to appear
I speak in morse code – maybe he can hear
Is my rambling clear?
It’s freestyle dear… 🙂
I am boney tendons
I am without intention
I am deep in ascension
Got your attention?
Like comets missing
Circling new dimensions
I need intervention
Holy brigade of his suns
Shining light on this one
His favorite weapon
Energized confession
It’s called possession
© Delia Ross. 2023 / @poeeternal
Postscript (contains free speech) 🫣
Holyshit, the wave is picking back up now. I’m in the eye of the storm.
I’m that scene when Trinity leaps from the building and falls into fawn mode
“Get up Trinity, get up…”
She had Neo to live for. The great anomaly. Love.
They wouldn’t even give John Jones a second phone call and it was Thanksgiving.
The real life ain’t the movies (but they made one about him and changed the most important details to suit Hollywoods agenda).
Now John has a nickname in heaven but I don’t like it very much. “LJ”
He likes his nickname but I don’t
It was on my upside down pineapple coconut cake
An L and a J
“LJ” was here
LJ (squared) (John Jones)
And if you don’t get the L reference – NICKNAME (too fucking bad)
Ask John what the L means
He will tell you
Or read some articles
I read every statement he said dying down there
Stuff from official Utah sources
Comments during the time
I READ COMMENTS FROM MICHAEL LEVITT VICTIM BLAMING
Recently a shadow formed on my wall in an L shape with a man hanging
He loves his new nickname but is sensitive to the fact that I’m yet not…
I made cake and I like feeding the squirrels and John has a new nickname
One day I’m gonna visit the caves
“LJ lives here”
It’s not even funny
It broke me
And I was dying of heart inflammation
He imprinted on me
His spirit
I want to cut Michael’s dick off
I want to do very bad things…
I bake experimental cakes instead
And the weed don’t work!
My meds stopped working!
“Get up Trinity, get up”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am getting a new blog soon
This one can just exist as an archive of major fuckup disasters
New pen, new identity
New deck of cards
I did it for love. I don’t know what God has in store for me
I hope it’s not dying on the street
The good news:
I don’t actually have to jump from a bridge
I can buy a gun
🙂
(Which is better than hanging yourself with a belt in your hotel room like Chris Cornell and Michael Hutchence)
Bless
I was so upset when I learned Michael died of suicide when I was 10.
EVERYONE I LOVE IS DEAD (-)
Did I tell you that John has been saving my life
I should not have got vaccine number two after vaccine one caused me heart issues
I’ll never get another flu shot or vaccine again
How much do you love your job to push your agenda?
I’m a Soldier, going down in battle sounds better than this bullshit of self-sabotage or “committed”
I probably failed my review board as I feared even mentioning being homicidal – although it’s the reason they ask all vets at the VA now
“Are you feeling suicidal or homicidal today”
It was always just suicidal until I was saying, “oh I’m feeling more homicidal these days“…
And I graduated to group therapy but there’s holes in my walls
“I fantasize about dying”
“It’s not a field day out here”
But it will be if the cops show up for me
(If I die here, nobody will know I didn’t want to…)
Although I’ve been blogging pretty heavily about it
“I hate it here as much as John Jones hates that cave”
LJ bless
Love you bro…
“I’m not good with goodbye”
I know why you lie
Your head in her smile
Making me immobile
It’s all-or-nothing thinking
Oh look, I’m sinking!
“Depression is treatable!”
Unless you’re unagreeable!
I must be some kind of fool
I’m stupid too
Sinner or saint
I crossed a line
I filed complaint
Near heavens gate
What if my only plan is to love you
Like a wild sea
I’m raging
For you to pursue
One, two
Passing out the card
On top
First
To discard
I’m letting go of floppy drives
Pulling from my back the knives
How do I reach you?
Through the fog?
No dialogue?
The sky is blue?
There are still parts of me a virgin
Like my love for you
And I fell in my youth
I sit behind no curtains
Maybe old burdens
Cold and cursing
These serpents
Feast on virgins
I want to hurt them
Still converting
God is learning
My spirit forms in verses
Satan’s not in service
© Delia Ross. 2023 / @poeeternal
So apparently, I’ve ran more people off again, and this time it’s because I was busy… 🙃
Busy having a midlife crisis
Laughs
Dear Edgar,
We’re the same
With love from hell,
Your daughter!?!?
With Love From Hell (new book title idea but no idea has ever been my own and Google is broken)
Still fixing the mothership and vessels
48 hours ago was so intense
In the eye of the storm now
Gonna make upside down pineapple coconut cranberry cake today (with nuts and seeds)
Gonna eat it all….
I don’t know why I crawled deeper in the hole
It’s scary down here
No one could save me
STOP 🛑 ✋🛑 This section of the cave is not worth exploring. 2 people have required rescue.
Scratch that idea
Let’s close the cave for six months and make a new map without the dangerous location. That’ll keep em out.
6 months later…
John Jones crawling around with a headlamp from his childhood because even with strict entrance rules, the management was narcissistically terrible, and though quick to victim blame, twas managements fault. He got a promotion and award for killing Jones, FYI
“Why did you put me here?” John Jones (love you bro)
When there’s so much intensity followed by so much calm.
Make cake…
With coconut milk, coconut oil, coconut flakes.
NOM
Just a box cake glorified
Whatever they did to the medicinal, it doesn’t work for me anymore.
Florida is trying to make it recreational
Which is good cuz I’m done paying the state every 7 months to enter a 🏥 building
Fucking criminals creating addicts while modifying and poisoning the goods – it ain’t natural anymore – or generationally grown. It’s lab designed and shit. Stripped everything good out of it. Waste of time and money. Money drain pit.
And if you live in Missouri, you have to pay the state extra money if you want to grow your own weed, because fuck this establishment
“Globalism will be great” they said. I wasn’t convinced in college. I was right.
Never do listen to myself
This will change
That’s the intention anyway
Over and out
There the offer stood
Like humiliation in the door
I guess life ain’t good
Unless you’re in a brotherhood
© Delia Ross. 2023 / @poeeternal
Apparently the thing I was fighting for does have value.
Most everything else that was gifted to me was cheap, fake shit.
LAUGHS
Jumping ship
To where, to which?
To be continued…. (praying)
“Don’t let me go, Murph”
“Don’t let me sell, Murph”
Great time to sell, not-so-much to buy.
Couldn’t really turn things around.
Sometimes nurturing old faithful is the better (and less expensive choice) (lesson learned after much research)
3 too many doors too many
I’ll chill here awhile
God: “what are you doing out here, it’s been ten years.”
Me: fuck the god damn doors, they all lead to hell…
God: “come inside”
Me: I’m fine in purgatory thanks
The noise is sometimes reduced to soul screaming only
“I talk to dead people”
God: “I made hot chocolate”
Me: why didn’t you say!!!!!!!!
*crawls inside*
Did y’all know the Bible that has been re-written many times (red flag) is actually Luciferian
Tis is…
The earth is alive
We spawned from here
Nihilism is a plague
“Too many men” according to Asian science (with malicious intent and purpose)
Narcissism is a plague
Sold/donated/trashed nearly 44 years of my life
Was gonna sell my uniforms but probably outdated and old (tho some new lol)
But not old enough to be vintage sought after
Just basically obsolete because gentrification exists lol
Once the uniforms are gone, I’m completely lost down here
Can’t even take my training with me when I die
Welp
I misread the diagram
I’m not where I am
But am I
Lion or lamb
Goddamn
The scam
Is a program
Thorough exam
Disengaged Aries the ram
© Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal
Who parks at my gate
Love rusted and weary
The demand for redemption
Hand emptied
Where is the offering
For a foundation of truth
Even the storms have freewill
Galloping
John rests his case
Along pillows of worry
Beyond rescue
Where heaven is blurry
© Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal
I’m two places at once: https://linktr.ee/PoeEternal
The day resets
The bath grows cold
He’s no regrets
Said life is love
But mostly debts
Let luck manifold
And you’ll have no sweats
Little gold
Cuz I stole success
And you cannot fold
© Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal
I do hail from the deep Deep South
Yep.
The Matrix is broken
The glitch took me to a place I’d never been before
We’re sorry
That profile is not available
You thought love was unfailable
We hope you feel terrible
© Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal
Edgar Allan Poe died on the street because of this bullshite
He didn’t make it past 40 without love (which happened to be his blood cousin – not through marriage – but blood relation – uhm incest)
I’m gonna throw up 🤢
Still. He is tattooed on my bone. And skin
“Earth is lying”
A constant reminder
I’m just a former shell of all I could’ve been
I hope somebody in heaven still loves me
Closing shop but still sinning at my private clubhouse where it seems the Devil and crows have gathered
I don’t find the crows ominous at all
They bring me gifts and blessings
I crawled deeper in the hole – cuz I don’t know how to leave well enough alone – and I’ve never been more frightened in my life
Edgar was a Soldier
The enemy is in the White House
“I’m that program in the system doing what it’s not suppose to…”
Literally programmed to make a mess
This is why heaven is empty
Nobody wants me here
My bed is always made
I rarely sleep under cover
I guess my sins aren’t paid
More suffering to discover
© Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal
Busy day today. Having tea. Then stuff to be done.
Location
Dante’s Lair
The Seventh Circle
Under construction
Where I fell
“I gotta be honest, I fucking lie”
He said while eating pie…
© Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal
More content: https://linktr.ee/PoeEternal
He’s taking phone calls
Then running back to me
His rules, his protocols
But don’t have a skeleton key
© Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal
WARNING BIG MOUTH BELOW
I’m sick of being quarantined. I’m sick of dying. I’m sick of the VA murdering me.
I’m crawling through hell to stay alive
Not getting phone calls. Don’t know his Twitter. But he need me to know he’s hot and after.
I would be hurting less with his cuddles. But nooo zombieeeeee
And he wanna punish me for getting stuck
At least John Jones’s brother said “I’m not mad at you for getting stuck” and he never saw him again after that
My sister died and went to hell with me mad at her
I’m still mad!!!!
I need to escape the Matrix. I don’t wanna vote. I need a small field. To grow things or die.
I do have a bunch of doctors appointments coming up, I fucking hate the Hitler deathcamp I’m trapped in
I don’t know how to escape the regime
Without leaping into the singularity
I would like to die in his arms. Just him.
The Devil is coming after me hard
So turns out he had trouble messaging too
Which means he didn’t block me
And all those other thoughts that followed after were untrue
“He was bored”
“He didn’t like the topic”
“He wanted to punish me”
WHAT DIDN’T I THINK UP
I don’t know anymore if people are being emo or if it’s the algorithm
I JUST DON’T KNOW
I absolutely did not block him from communicating tho – and he was blocked for like five minutes on my fucking phone
And he knows why
HE KNOWS
HE SHOULD NOT HAVE TOLD ME ABOUT HIS TWITTER
Don’t even need to say it
🤐
He wants me to know about the life he’s living that I’m not allowed to know about
I should probably cut my dead ends off but fuck it I’m almost dead
And I like looking like a mermaid
Apologies for apologies
Like wind I flee
King of quitting
All hail misery
© Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal
I’m not allowed in anyone’s garden. I make too many messes.
I wish he’d remove the veil
My face is pale
And death
Lives in my motel
A neon sign
Flashing I’m not well
I wish he’d remove the nail
We sin like hail
And faith
Is missing where I fell
A bloody road
Where we won’t leave a trail
© Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal
I’m going through revelations.
Despite dying and running everyone off nearly
I’m writing rhyme
Support: https://linktr.ee/PoeEternal
The Smart TV
In the trash
Propaganda machine
Gone in a smash
Glass flying like a limousine
Zero backlash
Fuck quarantine
But I am marching last
© Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal
Yesterday I carried the Smart TV to the bin. It’s stupid. The Internet is dead and ran by an algorithm. It should be made 21+. It’s full of propaganda, porn, and predators.
Walmart is selling sex toys in front of children – and online too in the “health” section.
This is not healthy or good. Growing up all my life, that stuff was found in Adult 21+ stores only.
Now I’m exposed to it shopping for essentials. I don’t own any toys. I don’t want to see anal plugs next to Lava Lamps or in the “health” section. Porn has destroyed humanity. FYI. I know you don’t care. 90% of all murders happen by men and since 1970 68% of ALL LIFE has gone extinct.
It’s synthetic everything now. Can’t even find some cotton from my hometown. I feel a stranger in my own land and country I fought for.
It was always the dollar tree, always. That junk was never worth more than pennies. Fucking GAWD. IMMIGRATION
I don’t want any part of toxic America society which has been destroyed by our enemy through globalism and narcissism.
I continue to receive the rainforest in my mailbox to eat at places or to shop at places I will never shop at.
I can’t opt out anywhere from anything. It’s toxic and sick.
They are trying to commit soldiers who are going after 100% disability for mental health through the VA.
I will go all Hannibal Lecter on your ass. I will. God knows. 👀
The suicide rate continues to increase among veterans and military because the OER’s and NCOER’s aren’t matching the Mission statement or what’s going on in the real world
I’m very depressed and suicidal but you’re not gonna lock me into a fucking jail cell because I don’t agree with this dictatorship society and never have
And now when you go out and about there are a bunch of desensitized GenZ and Millennials who only care about instant gratification, quietly quitting, or the LGBT community.
I am quietly quitting society
I’m not gonna sit back and let the enemy commit me for what they’ve done to me
I’m leaving here soon
This identity
It’s all gone
Back to reading books (I still have yours with ripped out pages and I’m still speaking to ghosts)
They want to commit us…
The rubberband is gonna pop
They keep pushing us and FYI we busted our ass more than any generation alive – with nothing but scar wounds to show for it – and they want to commit us – instead of paying us compensation.
It’s sick what the enemy is getting away with because the Millennials are so emancipated
I’m trapped like John Jones only I currently got a toilet which is now under BlackRock ownership
There’s no rent control out here
They are gutting us from the inside with policies that do not fit America
Joining an app or signing up for an account just means they are going to sell your private personal data and you can never fully leave
I CAN THO. YOU CAN’T MAKE ME WATCH TV
I’M NOT ANSWERING SURVEYS TO TRAIN THE ALGORITHM
I DO NOT LIKE ANY OF THIS
SUICIDE IS HUMANE
Crows and raven patterns
Demands he’s going after
Rings as full as Saturn
Kissing under lantern
Unholy laughter
Coffee with warm milk and dark chocolate
Hearts come with broken lockets
Empty picture frames not flawless
I have skeletons in my closet
I make him feel all the senses
Dizzy jumping fences
Climbing towards defenses
He needs me endless
He’s possessed
Or the letter was written in blood
Signed and scribbled with mud
Let love manifest
© Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal
“I don’t want my kids to see this” 💋
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