The Lie House – I mean White House was notified and knew that the explosion was heard and happened on Sunday – yet drug us along – giving us false hope and sensationalized the story – probably as a false flag while other pressing issues were happening – they gave us false hope of a recovery mission knowing damn well the explosion was the Titan and that they were dead
Furthermore this…
Forward Starboard (a poem)
Left and right might be forward and back Right is forward Rotate controller Left is back
Skill issue tbh
Basically something was installed backwards and people in the Titan were stuck and the solution was to reprogram the controller and the guy in the sub said he needed to write this all down
Had to turn the controller sideways to drive the sub
There were so many issues with the unsinkable Titan
But for the Lie House to drag us along is bullshite
THEY KNEW THE EXPLOSION WAS THE TITAN ON SUNDAY
Yet we all worried they were down there suffering or potentially could be rescued
Even though our government is funneling money to Ukraine and approving lab grown meats or some shite
I need to disassociate from politics and turn my cheek to the unsinkable Titan
Hopefully I can write a better poem than the one above which is basically word for word nearly of the insanity unfolding about the Titan
I was convinced they were dead Sunday when coms suddenly stopped but they convinced me otherwise that hope might be near the vicinity when they knew damn well of an explosion
“We hear banging sounds every 30 minutes”
Fucking criminals need to be hung *insert something* from the tallest tree
I was convinced they were dead on Sunday when coms were lost but noooooo they made me doubt myself when I knew
They withheld pertinent details about the case
We’re living in a manmade hell
Putsutclutzlurzuzyrjv ufzfsluruslyr
That’s all…
I did more shopping and more cleaning and that’s basically how my Friday went
I found a skate center AND CALLED
So hopefully I’m closer to my goal and once I go it’ll be hard to stop
Just gotta make that first step
Admission is like $8 bucks I think but I only inquired about hours and if I could bring my own skates…
I might even get a piece of cardboard pizza cuz who goes skating without eating the junk food?
I haven’t been skating since I was a kid/teenager and tbh don’t know why I stopped doing the things I love
They even have “adult night” which goes til late but I’d rather go during daylight
Nothing good ever happens after dark…
P.S. they died in fear – don’t be fooled by “there was no pain” – they absolutely felt pain briefly – and the cracking was enough to put fear mode on
Dogs and cats were made in a lab in Asia. Traced back their timeline.
Not shocking.
Cats and dogs are plagued with parasites.
The elites were plagued with parasites.
Connect the dots
“Pregnant women should not be around the cat box”. Applies to everyone!
Gavin Rossdale says cats are filthy, won’t have em in his palace. Good King.
I’m very observant. Army trained.
I got the good Army training.
Listen or don’t listen
GenX about to have a throw down, we nearly healed but at risk for ASDS heaven
It’s humans vs demons down here
Narcissism is a plague (someone with a psych degree)
My best friend died of suicide, and then her mother and I’ve been trying to die by suicide since I was in the womb but then I decided to study why everybody was so fucking depressed and it’s because of China 🇨🇳
Porn. Propaganda. Predators. The Internet should be 21+. Walmart and The Mall too. (They’re selling sex toys in front if kids)
FYI: I identify as 15 but act 500
I’m a complicated creature and require special handling
He doesn’t get me at all
How do you play the game when you know their next move?
I’m afraid of what I can do… (to self) (near through)
Can find compassion in Crow and the elite hate Crow so much – she don’t get an emoji
States it is “sold as animal feed” (I’m an animal m’kay but)
There is no date anywhere
It smelled of rot
I did a sniff and taste taste
The dog sniffed and passed
Didn’t even get a taste…
It’s opened
I know they won’t take it back
The yuppies
I mean Peggy’s Discount stole $8 from me
“Free will”
I could have said no 😑
I had some dry milk on the shelf FOR THE SAME PRICE
And just made me a fresh batch for my coffee
And about to toss some marmalade on this pumpkin bread full of seeds and nuts and spices
And enjoy my coffee with powered milk
And the yuppies can BURN IN HELL
You sold one of God’s angels some rotten fucking milk
I don’t even know how many years an eternity is but it ain’t enough!!!!!
🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
I do recommend that big bag of great value dry powdered milk for eight dollars and never ever ever fucking raw milk without a goddamn date on it that’s labeled animal feed and why are they selling it to humans you fucking assholes
This is exactly why John Jones got stuck in a fucking hole and I’m allowed to be pissed off about it because that eight dollars could’ve gone towards some shit at Dolls Kill that I want
I’m nearly fucking vegan after all this shit
“You could of said no”
They stole $8 from me 😑
And I don’t know what to do with the milk because my dog doesn’t even want to drink it so if I put it outside it might contaminate the water
Tempted
TEMPTED TO ACCIDENTALLY SPILL IT ALL OVER THEIR DOOR
Helps. I’m in hell. 😑
If I had a husband I wouldn’t be buying animal feed 😑
IT WAS RIGHT THERE ON THE LABEL
WTF IS WRONG WITH ME
How long had it been sitting on their shelf in the fridge?
HOW LONG?????????
There’s no date anywhere!!!!
How many red flags does a person need???????
HARD LESSONS LEARNED IN HELL
It was a lesson though
777 numbers from the heaven
The discount didn’t even cover the cost of the rotten milk 😑
There’s consequences to timeline jumping, you get brain injuries and become really fucking stupid 😑
I don’t even think I can use this milk as a photo shoot to pour on my body because it’s chunky even though the label says to “shake well”
For the record, I wasn’t studying every single label in the new shop which was a Health store
It was almost as if I was being chastised for looking at the prices or the labels and then they sold me some rotten milk and God knows how good the eggs are now because I’m fucking afraid of the eggs
RETURN THIS CARTOON
SOLD AS ANIMAL FEED
MOTHERFUCKING DAMN
That’s another $8 stolen 😑
Those motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!
AVOID AT EVERY COST 🖕
I didn’t even have this bad of an experience drinking goats milk in Kuwait and Iraq
My mama didn’t breast-feed me and I apparently like milk because I’m undernurtured and I’m trying to get rid of my milk addiction but they are poisoning everything including the soy beans
Some good news with the coffee…
This Doll model has a very tiny peach (this is not my peach)
I mean her peach is TINY
And I’ve been freaking out over losing over 18 pounds detoxing and my peach getting smaller even though I do work out, bike ride and walk and rebound and clean fucking house even though it doesn’t look like it
Babes with a small peach are worthy of affection and love too
And I’m not gonna show you the entire outfit because I got it 🎃
I got a Halloween bodysuit 🤪
This holiday slowing down the shipments but at least when they say they’re doing a mega sale they fucking mean it and they sell you really good quality stuff that is 1000 times better than Amazon or Walmart
Or Peggy’s Discount whom sale rotten food to despairing hungry humans 😑
My doc appointment is tomorrow
I can’t stop laughing about how incredibly stupid I was though, I mean I know I was hungry and gaslit
I know I have a brain injury
It was a new environment
But the red flags were there
I mean, they failed to even list the price of the nuts on the container or the shelf
Just like Michael Leavitt failed to put features on the map showing danger zones
“But he said he was an expert”
“But there was dust on the walls”
Like, I’m out $16+ bucks over gaslighting and not reading signs and ignoring red flags
I’m an animal, I will drink milk straight from the cow tit OK, I’ll be frank with you, but that shit was fucking ruined
Like, I would have a goat around for milk and cheese
There are certain species of animals that I have never eaten nor touched nor plan to digest
Goat is one
But their cheese and milk and fur – in the right conditions – I wouldn’t be opposed to
There was no cow milk in Iraq or Kuwait and the only milk we were offered was goats milk but the only way I would drink it was warm
Warm goats milk in my box cereal
My king needs to know the conditions in which I starve
I will bite the hand that feeds when the food is rotten and poisoned
THIS IS WHY EDGAR ALLAN POE DIED ON THE STREET
I am grateful for your support because people out here stealing from me left and right
“You didn’t have to buy the milk”
YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO LIE
How long has that lie been sitting on the shelf?
HOW LONG
I am nearly vegan and it isn’t because you have a heavy hand because you can’t have a heavy hand and also eat pizza from a fucking box and be part of the fucking problem
THEY ARE SELLING ROTTEN MILK 🥛
“Shake well”
I FUCKING PLAN TO
KEEP PISSING ON ME
JUDGMENT HOUR
I’m gonna expose you all
Narcissism is not rare
NARCISSISM IS A PLAGUE
Despite the fact that I had nearly $20 stolen from me (and I’m still out eggs and milk now by the way, that I can’t replace)
These goddamn demons make it so hard for me not to commit a criminal act
It’s better to blog than spray paint
I really want to be the best efficient hunter killer but I’ve got to learn how to control my emotions especially my anger when it arises
“Hunter killer”
UHM
I am efficiently trained by the United States Army to take down a human with one shot one kill and with my bayonet
You don’t think they just played with us in basic training do you? 😈
God: you wanna go to heaven?
Me: oh yeah for sho
God: you need special training that in which I cannot say and you cannot kill
Me: I’m up for the challenge 🤨
God: everything will be a lie
Me: I WANT OUT, LET ME OUT
Anyhoo
The Great Filter is narcissism
Every society has at least two great filters they need to overcome if they want to be a species that doesn’t go extinct
What are your Great Filters?
We must have individual filters as well
Don’t shop at Peggy’s Discount
I’ve got eggs and milk I don’t know what to do with
I have lessons I still need to learn
I’m trying to share even the smallest ones with you
I don’t like to lose money
I don’t like to gamble
I don’t like being gaslit
I don’t like being wasteful
I’m curious and like trying new things
“How quickly should I drink it”
“Uh within a few days. Bacteria”
Dear Gen Z
That isn’t bacteria, that is fucking rot
Your parents look like cruel dictators and I can tell you are confused about your sex and wanna please the parents but never do
You still sold me rotten milk…
The eggs don’t have a date either
Your boomer parents have a house and a business and I’m struggling to pay my rent
I’m condemning you all to hell
Take it up with God
He sent me here to see what you do through my eyes
He sent me here to judge
144,000
SAY MY NAME
FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
All that vegan packaging with natural flavor in it from a fucking lab
I AM WOKE BUT BLIND
“Free will” but “they will do anything”
He gonna divorce me
“You spent $18 on a tiny container of nuts and another $16 on animal food”. “What are we eating this month, honey?” 😑
(I did get the money back for the unopened nuts)
I should call though to say the milk was expired
But I want to cut the cord on that experience which was a fucking nightmare and I will spend many days potentially months or even a year trying to figure out why why why why when I was hungry I did this shit
I was completely out of my comfort zone at Peggy’s but because I’m nice and programmed to not say no or offend these demons, I made bad mistake 😑
Welp. How to ignore red flags 101. The fear was very real. God is in information. Listen to the source when he is calling. Those warnings are like little fingertips by God touching you
Tickle tickle
Don’t go that way
And you may get an additional warning or two, like Jacob in the whirlpool, he got three, that I counted
But he got out
And he went back in
A second time….
I have an irrational fear of dying but there is a pattern and Apophis is a nuclear bomb if we do not stop the NEW WORLD ORDER
(With those bad shrooms we’re not allowed to touch)
THE ELITES WERE PLAGUED WITH PARASITES
HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF
Black Walnut Wormwood detox if you wanna save your life or purge the Devil (is that what’s stopping you) 🧐
Tsk tsk
I can’t believe I bought some rotten fucking milk and eggs that literally says animal food on it but it’s being sold as human food on human shelving without a date and shouldn’t that be illegal?
Gaslighting should be a crime
I’m in fucking hell…
I am a witch though and I love spooky season
I make the best damn pot of stew
WITCHES STEW
Dash of burn in hell, dash of I don’t give a fuck… pinch of they’re all out of luck
You should see the writings on the wall where heavens gone mad
50 years ago they would have drilled a hole in my head
The way we treat depression is barbaric
We need to ban big pharma commercials
I don’t mind drinking milk past the expiration date or eating expired food but what the fuck
Wanna turn somebody vegan?
SELL THEM ROTTEN MILK
I curse in hell because it’s the only way I don’t commit a crime and they’re trying to take my freedom of speech in the real world
If you take my speech, I take my money and business
And I will never shop where I can’t spend cash which is what I’d like to start doing but find me a place I can shop that isn’t selling sex toys in front of children…
I don’t want to support businesses that are selling sex toys in front of children like Walmart and the mall
I don’t want to support a business that sells you rotten fucking produce that you can’t return
“Has it been opened”
*THROWS BOTTLE AND EGGS AT BRICK WALL*
*gets arrested*
*doesn’t get money back, gets fined instead*
(Stays home to avoid potential downfall)
You remember that Nirvana song, “I think I’m dumb”
SAME
Also, Kurt had gut issues which directly impacts mental health, he needed to debug 🤨
They are playing god! They are doing this! Just the same as you like to destroy your little tribe around you, they do it on big-time numbers, it’s a big fucking chessboard and they are playing Sims in real life, stop feeding them, stop giving them your money at church, stop giving them your money with “big black cock porn”, it’s bullshit, you’re fucking racist if you support it!!!
How the fuck can you be all like Black Lives Matter Black Lives Matter and then behind the scenes you’re supporting big black cock because you’re a fucking racist and you don’t give a fuck about white people at all and if you’re a white person supporting big black cock then you’re a fucking racist too
Because in the real world we’re doing everything to fix the behavior of racism yet behind the scenes you’re watching racist fucking porn 24 hours a day
I’m tired of having to prove to everyone around me that I’m not a racist yet behind the scenes y’all are watching racist fucking shit and sexist fucking shit and nothing is ever going to get better as long as you’re fucking feeding your mind with that trashy fucking shit
And it’s obviously not going away anytime soon because virtual reality and porn came out at the same time
Again, can you cum without porn or make a thought that the Bible didn’t give you?
Didn’t think so! Go back to sleep! 😡
If everyone started behaving like they should cops wouldn’t need a job, would they
And if they stopped pumping us full of chemicals we wouldn’t be so sick, would we (notice how laundry detergent and other products you’re now buying says “contains allergens”)
Y’all, I can feel myself growing more unstable so I must disassociate
At the VA I had cops get into my space and I had a fucking meltdown so don’t think that if you try to grab me or kidnap me I won’t fucking rip your veins out of your neck with my teeth so you may want to bring a muzzle
I bite 👀
My point is stay away
I am a wounded animal
Do not approach unless with food or as if you are going to sniff my ass
Otherwise I see you as a threat
If you’re not a cute little seagull on the beach, I see you as a threat
And when I see a bird squawking and flying towards me, I also see it as a threat, even though it wants my candy cane wrapper
I actually feel safer slowly inserting myself where a flock of birds are
Than I do around any human being on the entire planet
The birds see me as a threat and I just want to birds to accept me as their own
I’ve tried to get the humans to accept me as their own but apparently I’m not human because I’m artificial intelligence only alive as a sex object to serve their basic needs (no evolution or growth going on here)
Earth is a low frequency
It’s a negative charge
I can’t ascend with all these negative ions
I need positivity
Pink Floyd
Pretty clouds
Full belly
Love
The Great Filter is upon us
My name is Delia
I’m here to teach you the truth
Open your eyes
But you must unplug!
I can’t save you!!!
And tho I may hate your ways, I know you are capable of much greater things
You belong on some foreign land, speaking languages of the old, forgotten gods In some haunted and forsaken land Where your reign has better odds Speaking words I’ll never understand Cuz your lies they come in squads!
I made a new Reel for this new poem!!! I know everyone crosses platforms and shares tiktok on Instagram and reels on tiktok but whatever- if I get 30 views on this new reel, I’ve decided I’m going to be happy with that. Because if 30 people showed up to watch what I did in a room, I would freak f*cking out.
Edgar’s bones are rattling, I think he’s been moved! (This literally did happen to him- come to think- but that’s not what I mean). I’m just trying to keep the rhyme tradition alive and I reside in modern times.
Smitten by words
You can ghost me, we still live on the same planet and in the same galaxy. Sucker!
One day you are going to die and I am going to die but the question remains now: who is going to become dust faster?
Gotcha thinking!
Welp.
Some idiot on Insta insulted my ass again. He said I was living rent-free up in his mind but he was stalking my profile m’kay. Stop lying. Blocked. And thanks for the workout motivation and compliment. 👍
Here a narcissist, there a narcissist, the devil comes in two
How about this new poem I wrote tho, eh? Oh, you don’t want to let me know that I swoon you in any shape or fashion? Hence, it matters not cuz Edgar Allan Poe, yo.
Goddess of Poetry
I am an elite rhyming poet in this century and I feel like I’ve written enough decent rhyme to make my mark in that category and to call myself A REAL POET.
It may take 200 years for anyone to acknowledge that fact. But I’m having a real go at it anyway.
If you dig this blog, and would like to support keeping it going, please consider a small donation to my PayPal or joining my Patreon for exclusive perks and rewards. Thanks for checking out my work and for supporting small business!
More poetry coming, so I’m about to blow up the WordPress feed over the next few days, with multiple postings in a day, so you may need to check my actual blog to not miss a feed (unless you have the notifications set on).
Also, if you sign up to my blog via email, that will keep you from missing any posts and you will never have any advertisements delivered because I’m running my blog advertisement free. Your support on my Patreon allows me to run my blog free from advertisements or spam. I thank you.
I once tried to maintain some sort of theme and posting order but my life is chaos currently.
I’m on edge. Welp.
Uhm the Grinch has arrived. Eggnog now please. (I don’t actually have any eggnog but it would be nice).
Sometimes I wonder if I peered into Pandora’s box or if I am Pandora’s box. Uhm, my eyes bleed.
The fall from heaven is a terribly long one. Helps.
My cousin makes chocolate – she has a business she started up but it’s local to her only. But she sent me a box for Thanksgiving. It’s still hot as hell in Florida so she was worried about sending me chocolate afraid it would melt. She put a little cool pack in it and it arrived safely and I made a little video! I’m obsessed with chocolate, FYI. Hook me up with an IV please. 😜They are delish! She has a gorgeous little set-up when she does local events. This is just a little chocolate selfie. Is that a thing? 😊The names of the chocolates she made. I have a few left. Been trying to ration. May get more for XMAS now that we know they’ll arrive safely. I normally only get bills in the mail so I love receiving snail mail especially arts and food. 😍My energy levels have been so low but I’m working in my studio today recording spoken word for my Patreon. About to hit up the Starbucks though because she also sent me a gift card and that coffee will be great today. Need that extra kick! 👊
Despite being tired, I wrote this poem this morning before I even brushed my teeth. Lazy has never been in my resume. Off to Starbucks – then recording in my studio!
I hope you all are having a fantastic holiday and getting some love out there!
Thanks for checking out my work and for supporting independent artists! 😊
What are your words if hollow and brittle? What becomes of care when you show so little? Then remove the lie from the middle- Watch your honor fade and dwindle?
It’s time integrity took a stand Purity is the only thing I’ve got in hand I fell for your ruse, you’re just the better man? But I can promise, it won’t happen again…
I’ve learned that love is simply a myth And if you have a name, let’s call you Judas Deception is every kiss And betrayal, it’s written on your fist…
The lie it grew and grew and grew I knew I fell from heaven on the truth Got stuck like glue On every lie because of you Oh, it hurts so much too From empty bottle to fully blue Hell mistook me for a fool
Your prayer dropped a clue You envy youth Now away it flew Leaving you with tooth How they accrue Still every mask I cut through It’s time I withdrew
Spent the night soiling the earth with tears begging the almighty to let me see what I need so I could be free. Didn’t understand the lesson that be. Crying to God, you can lead a demon to holy water, but you cannot make him drink!!!
Nearly drowning from all that makes me bleed. Suffocating on the very air that we breathe. He gave me new eyes to see. Your soul is empty. God cut me free (now whose lying).
The truth hurts worse than the lieTelling lies to myself. That’s not you. It’s someone else. It’s his brother. I’m crazy! Seeing what I wanna! I seem to like you no matter who you are. Which makes me not like you very much!! 😭😰😭I wish I could believe my own lie when I say I don’t love you.The truth hurts worse than the lie. Oh, God forgive me! I still love you, I do! 💔Cursed like Mina Tepes to always love you. 💔
Sidenote: I’ve been in some sort of weird rhyme scheme where I limit my vocabulary even more than I normally do when rhyming. I don’t rhyme just to rhyme, that’s where people fall flat. There’s probably a name for what I’m doing but brain damage. Losing my mind. I see way more than I want to see with my third eye and I’ve never been so fucking depressed or lonely in my life and it’s not that I don’t like my own company because I do – that’s why I’m isolated. I’m growing ever more suicidal and out of fucks to give. But doing the rhyme scheme like I did above, that shit is hard, yo.
I was also at a place where I was worried about using the same words that I had already used before and then I decided to just let that go.
I’ll probably be jumping off the Eiffel fucking Tower reciting some last words you know. Eh. CR CR CRAZZZY out of fucks to give.
Words are the only thing left holding me together.
Oh, you thought that was just a line?
The only thing I’m staying alive for at this point is the Matrix 4. And maybe another hug from Gavin Rossdale cuz he’s like my fountain of youth. I sniffed his neck once, I’m so fucking weird!!!! I think I wanted a bite 😩
I’m sure he’d like that but not while he’s singing to thousands of people!
Then again, this is me. I could get away with murder just with my smile. 😊
I am 1000% insane crazy because I’m literally in love with dracul even tho he’s a fucking monster. Rip my fucking heart out. At least Mina got laid!!!!! She died by suicide, FYI!!!
SHE WAS REAL!!!! *laughs insanely*
Dracul is still very much feared in his land. I wanted to get married in Transylvania or there about.
Love isn’t real, is it? You never really loved me.
His support he gave but not without conditions The money he waved it had omissions Like stating you are single when you are really married Like saying you are free with a green card that you carried
His hand was there but always tied with the devil And every moment there my soul could barely revel Yet obey that I would while he grasped onto my cross And for awhile he was helping but made it harder than I thought
Welp. How many more will knock on my door, just for me to close it????? I do get lots of hypothetical knocks on my door but it’s usually the devil knocking.
Or, I’m so completely broken and paranoid that I’m actually seeing people like demons now. Here a demon, there a demon, there are many more!
And I would make the church my home but I literally see the preachers as demons now too! It could be all the money they keep grasping for. I just want to jump up and yell “STOP TAXING THE POOR!” but state was removed from religion. Religion is its own entity governed by a different set of rules. That’s why the church’s didn’t have to follow any of the mandatory mask-wearing (or was that just Florida cuz nobody was social distancing either)? But yeah, churches don’t pay taxes, y’all know that right??? They pay zero taxes!!!! Now how many of these priests do you think are actually religious or “godly”- (because it often comes out that they’re cheating or pedophiles).
All they care about is money. It’s all show. Complete fams involved now. They all asking for your money!! So they can build more, bigger things!!!! Tax free!!!!! Give them your money!!!! Hurry!!!! Not just every Sunday but Wednesday too!!! Go ahead and text them a donation right now!!!! God is blessing you!!!! You are the chosen one!!! Repent sinners!!! Pay!!!!!! (I can’t believe people still believe in these fairy tales but I’m absolutely a believer in Jesus Christ, I know he existed, his message has been smeared by the narcissist running the world (NWO / Illuminati) and I am religious so don’t even come at me).
“You people who only believe with your miracles and wonders but what of those who believe without?” (something Jesus Christ said but you probably won’t remember because you need the miracles and wonders to believe). I don’t. I won’t. Never have. Never will. My road has been different than yours. I don’t need to idolize statues!!! But give them your money so they can build them big and grand for God!!
Jesus said, “pick up a rock and I am there”. “Any two people having a conversation in my name is having church”.
I’m talking, you’re listening = church holy holy
I started out 2020 going to church heavily until that one day they started speaking in tongue and touching me all over my body and that shit is on Instagram. I’m like, ‘maybe I could establish a connection with God speaking in tongue if people would stop touching my back and head’. So as a paranoid Soldier, yeah I don’t like doing church anymore. It was literally the one place I felt safe to cry in public and that was taken from me. 2020 is an asshole.
I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY TO GIVE YOU! STOP ASKING FOR IT WHEN I COME!!! GOD DOESN’T NEED MONEY OR STATUES!!! YOU NEED GRAND GESTURES SO YOU CAN PRETEND YOU ARE A DECENT HUMAN BEING TWICE A WEEK BY GIVING MONEY TO HELP THE POOR AND YOU HELP THE POOR BY BUILDING MORE CHURCHES FOR THE WEALTHY!!!!!! GOD IS GREAT!!!
Playing the angel 24/7. That tattoo on my chest means “faithfulness”. Faith is also my middle name. It’s more than a creed. A lifestyle. Angels are warriors and my friends, I am every bit a Soldier. =)
And then there’s that last relationship that I got into where the guy was proposing to me and posting his vows for me all over his social media to his fanbase yet no one told me he was fucking married (but that didn’t stop the love-bombing) and he would want me to go get my ring size but then later on he would literally yell at me for hours if I brought up anything about us actually getting married or engaged- because that’s what narcissists and lying assholes do. He couldn’t get married, he was still married, he never told me this when we got together or started a relationship, in fact, he told me he was single the entire time (but was in fact married and in another long-term relationship with another broken soul that he was looking to replace after all the fuel was spent). I became the next victim unfortunately.
They gaslight your reality. They systemically break you down. Like chess pieces. They love-bomb you (even in friendships or famalies) and then they’re cold to you when you’re not giving them the treatment that they think they want or deserve (even though their behavior is toxic as fuck). Yeah, let’s hang! From hot to cold! Yeeeee!!!! But then when I need them to be like empathetic about a situation, I’d have better luck not breathing. Either way, they always have a way to make you feel responsible for something you haven’t done.
You when you’re filling out paperwork and you have to check either the ‘single, married, or divorced box’- the single box now has “never married” (inparentheses) because these narcissist gaslight everything they do, literally.
The married ones will want to check the single box because they feel like they’re no longer in the marriage, (it’s just a piece of paper, they don’t care about the life that they are using or destroyed, they are already looking for a replacement and they’re not even divorced yet, or still married for that green card and that is loads of married baggage), and the divorced ones will want to check the single box even though they’re now divorced (because images; a narcissist wants to maintain his charming exterior).
But the single box is for people who never married, like me! I used to hate that dang single box but now that they added the “never-married” part to it, I really fucking enjoy it! I pride myself on being single and actually meaning the word! HONESTY! A RARE THING!!
Because you rarely hear people being honest these days about what their relationship status really is. You’ll learn later on, when they drop pertinent information in a very casual way. Like when they say something really shitty to you, followed by “it was just a joke” (like when you ask how you look and they respond “pregnant” as if being pregnant is un-beautiful- but it was a very low-key demeaning way to emotionally abuse you about your added weight gain). And if you ever get angry about something a narcissist does to you, they will trump your fucking anger, so much so, that you will doubt why you were even angry at all (classic narcissism gas-lighting 101, it must be exhausting being a narcissist, that’s why they’re so fucking cold and empty). Or, how you ask them a direct question, but they always tap dance around the answer you’ll never get. They put words in your mouth. You always feel aloof and confused. You’re dealing with a narC. You will never win. But you will lose your self-confidence and overall mind. Until you kill another or yourself or barely escape alive. And that’s what they want. To kill you alive. Because killing you for real dead is messier and might require jail time. It’s legal to manipulate someone and steal their finances and fucking soul. (Mine gets free rent in America unless he finally secured his green card, which he’d been looking for the perfect victim so he could still be basically a piece of shit and cheat all the time and lie). They never out grow the cumming addiction. They want it from as many online victims they can get, and in the real world). We’re sex objects no more. They have no remorse. Fake crocodile tears!!! Run!!
SINGLE (NEVER MARRIED). That’s me!!!
Basically, my cherry has not been popped (because let’s face it, losing your actual virginity is so outdated). This is the new cherry popping as I’ve just deemed it!!!
Marriage has nothing to do with luck! Catch me if you can! Be a better man? I ain’t ever getting married! And since I’m not tied down to a relationship or mortgage, I can move wherever I want, including out of America. I’m not a criminal but some sort of war hero many say and I will still maintain my VA benefits if I move country because I worked hard at my fucking career and deserve every fucking piece of mind I get! And every penny! I sacrificed MY LIFE!!! I’M BROKEN!!!! DISABLED!!!! CALL ME FUCKING LAZY AGAIN. I DOUBLE DARE YOU!!!!! And I’ll show you the butt of my rifle because the Army taught me how to use both ends!!!
And I got to wear lots of hats because I was great at wearing every hat they threw me. That’s why I have all sorts of awards, and medals, and certifications, and degrees. Recognition. It’s just a piece of paper like that marriage certificate you don’t give a fuck about. So why would I think you give a fuck about all my training or education or experience? You can’t even be factual on a government form about your fucking relationship status (let alone trying to start out friendships or potential romanceships), all based on lies (or mis-information or information withheld, which is the same as lying, it is manipulative and deceitful!
When will lying be held as a crime??? Utopian future?? It’s got to be better than this lying hell I’m trapped in!!! Honest peeps where ye at????
And these narcissist will do anything they can to maintain their secret lifestyle, so the gaslighting can go on for years in a relationship, which often does (as well as all the cheating; married guys are doing it more than you know and it’s so easy to get away with it these days with travel and internet). The divorce rate is high in America. So is rape. Porn is given to children by age 10 by fathers in fear of them turning gay!!!!! They get them hookers as a teen!! The Me Too movement is insane but real! I’ve never met one woman who hasn’t been raped or abused by a man, and often by more than one man! Guys are super connected to porn but they don’t know how to harness positive sexual energy!
Pedophilia exists and is in our homes and churches. It’s abundant and so is porn. I’m speaking out against the atrocities in the world and I no longer give a fuck if you like me.
Jesus said, “if the world hates you, remember that it hated me first”. And I know it hates me because I tell it of its atrocities.
Friendships and relationships are only hard because the foundations they are built on are started off with lies. The walls surrounding your home were built on lies. Your roof is a lie. Your life is a lie. You have no honor. No integrity. You will not die with such.
That’s not real forgiveness either, if acquired. You’re not really free or dying forgiven.
Lies are DESTRUCTIVE.
Gaslighting comes with emotional and physical abuse. Damages that often require intense therapy after, which there’s no guarantee you will ever recover from (and you likely have more than one narcissist in your life using these tools of manipulation to control you (they look like moms and dads and sisters and lovers). Stay woke.
When people learn to be honest with me I guess I’ll have more friends (and support)? Laughs maniacally.
*dies naked, drunk, unknown, poor, and possibly poisoned in the street, like my daddy Edgar Allan Poe*
I just no longer want to build any relationships to aquire support because I will lose it in one form or fashion (and I’m sure these narcissist are behind-the-scenes blaming me which is a fucking smear campaign).
Did I mention I’m depressed and suicidal???
*laughs maniacally in the street*
*dances with the devil*
*goes back to heaven home alone*
*hears knocking*
*wishes she was in a land without any devils*
*knock knock knock*
*sobs uncontrollably*
*begs for help*
*hears asteroid Apophis deep rumble and reply, “On my way”*
*sobs uncontrollably*
Did I mention I’m suicidal but also scared to die?????
*hears Apophis grumble, “too late”*
“I’m dying. I just want you all to know you’re dying too”.
This goes without saying, but if you read my poetry or support my writing in any way, I am really grateful! Thank you!
But for the love of God, please stop lying every second with every breath, I’m exhausted!!!!
Y’all evil exists. A lot of these monsters are super charming but the suicide rate continues to increase worldwide for a reason and it’s cuz y’all lying!!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HONOR? YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST MAKE UP A RELIGION AND TAKE ON MULTIPLE WIVES? STOP HURTING THE FEMALE POPULATION. I’D RATHER IDENTIFY AS MALE AND LOOK LIKE A MALE THAN CONTINUE TO BE RAPED, ABUSED, EMOTIONALLY TORTURED AND ABUSED!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!
BREAK THE CYCLE OF ABUSE! IT STARTS WITH YOU!
I’D RATHER CHECK OUT VIA SUICIDE THAN CONTINUE THIS FUCKING BIG LYING CHARADE FUCK FEST!!!!!
In my dreams, wide awake, his kisses cause rainbows to form For his existence helps lessen the storm And every word is shaped by his form And in these poems are how I’m born
He’s the prompt for starlight Or how eyes have sight He’s the moon at midnight And for every word I write
Our equation reads: I love you times infinity (squared). Can you put that into a formula for us?
I have cursed freckles yes all over this pale ass flawed and scarred skin. It’s just a cover for my broken soul AKA the spirit AKA energy and energy cannot ever die, it can only transfer from one thing to another according to Einstein’s general relativity or whatever theory???No filter. Ugg I have the hazel eyes so they change on their own based on my mood and what colors I’m wearing. I never wear contacts ugg fuck plastic – it literally makes women lethargic. It’s so toxic ugggg but whatever okay. Perfection still doesn’t exist. I don’t want sensory deprivation and that’s exactly what plastic, TV, and porn does. Bah. Go back to sleep.
Those lies lying between your teeth Lingering among our feet Like the desperation you seek Hopeless in the street At what hour does forgiveness greet Do our eyes meet?
Tell me the art of affection Written any direction A lethal injection I need your objection A bridge for connection A poor life in question
Answer truth do not befool Life is cruel So bend a rule Love this jewel Keep hands cool Reserve your fuel
Under trust a sleeping serpent Midnight hermit Mourning servant Lessons learn it Longing urgent Fever current
What does the room feel like after I’ve left Are there tears of joy you’ve finally wept? Now’s the time to take your breath Things in order how you kept?
Does the air turn to dust and cold And hope is breath that turns to mold? Is the darkness you worship wonder to behold Do you ever notice you are growing old?
Do you take these poems and place them in the attic Do you convince yourself I’m only erratic? Do you tell them all I’m just a fanatic Or do you admit to yourself you’re a narcissistic addict?
Does the blood in your calloused heart move faster Is everything you destroy a beautiful disaster? Is love the only thing in life you can never master Have you ever given yourself an honest answer?
If you dig my writing, you can support my advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
What did I ever do for you to treat me so cruel Why are you a genius yet act like a fool Why is your life a valley of stool Why do you keep acting like you’re just a tool Why do you stay prisoner under your own rule Why do you keep lying as if it were cool
Why does my presence get under your skin Why does your lie always come with a grin Why was I never allowed to be your friend Why do you always take my heart for a spin Why do you consider losing a win Why do you spy on me if I’m just a has-been
Bleeding love for him, even beneath all the thorns of anger and hate
If you dig my writing, you can support my advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Something about her feels imposed, Her hands are cold. She’s a pyramid scheme, Lined in fake silver and gold. She’s a lying queen, Her humanity decomposed. There’s no honor in her spleen, Her gates to truth are always closed.
Slaves to the 1 percent Chained by the narcissists One foot forward ’til the other quits Mind says no but the heart persists
Damnation at the edge of both wrists You think it is love but you never have kissed He binds you so tight with the lies that he twists You cannot stop now no matter the risk
The devil’s tongue is hard to resist His hold on you tighter than both fists No matter your move he’s ahead of the lists As inch by inch you cease to exist
I walk over streets frozen with fear I crawl through tunnels of bravery I’d travel an entire light-year To catch a moment of you How tall are words bleeding from your mouth I lick them and smear them over insecurities I wrap them with silence And tie a pretty bow over truth If only lies had butterfly wings And soft landings Were they short-lived And weightless Or sat bundled in a cocoon Per chance they were released in the night And lit up like fireflies Could we catch them easily?
Cold in every manner Lost faith in ones who matter Still praying every hour Too many tongues that spit and chatter
Her words hit like a bomb I was no longer calm There was blood on my palm And I knew where the rage was coming from
Pray that every tear turns to a curse Hide the devil here inside this verse If he has a fear I’ll find what works Thought he was a monster but he’s worse
Whatever’s burning is ash
Smoldering versions of failure
Suits wearing a different behavior
But they all smell of traitor
Take a heart and stir it up
It never really mattered much
The bigger the fish, the bigger the bite
The brighter the truth, the lesser the sight
Whatever’s burning is trash Lying, denying, the awful mistakes The crying, the trying, the hope that it takes Love was caught speeding, so I turned on the brakes
Take the flesh and deny it touch
Love was never here to adjudge
Free the sin, accuse the judge
Broken and shattered watch them begrudge
Bathe in our river of blood
Regret comes in a flood
Reborn to the silence of us
Drowning but we won’t give up
The drowning man will always take down another
Wouldn’t it be something if you chose not to hurt her
Where is the honor of being a deserter
Blasphemous to replace her at her altar
Peering over into your reflection
Tampering with fate by another obsession
The game was rigged I’m seeing deception
Being a monster your number one profession
Brown, blue, green or hazel eyes
They all equal another prize
On and on you keep crafting lies
You are a thing to despise
I can smell a lie a mile away
In every direction they will sway
Maybe they’ll catch on another day
I am disgusted by the games you play
These are common tools and tactics the narcissist will use to manipulate, confuse, and control you. GO NO CONTACT!
I know it hurts honey, I’m hurting too. But, they are incapable of real love. You gotta go no contact. There’s nothing you can do to change them. You can’t fix them. They are damned. Save yourself! Go NO CONTACT. NO LOOKING BACK!
Bandage over cracks with sticky lies Remove all color from open eyes Stand by idle and listen to their cries While crafting up more precious alibis Feckless is the one who never tries But others lick lies up with little sighs He’s still got his eye on the wrong prize Soon too late for even cold goodbyes
Death is going to come like a creature in the night
Everything dies but it still gives me fright
You’re using all your cum but creating stillness life
You think you’re having fun but you’re killing all with light
First off let me just say, I am a kinky bitch. I am in no way ashamed of my body, even though for many years many people tried to make me feel bad for being petite and for not being made of plastic. You see, I may not have fake hair, fake eyelashes, fake nails, fake tits, fake tans, or fake personalities, etc, because I actually like to feel and sense my surroundings. I want to feel the things I’m touching and the things that are touching me and plastic is a barrier. And so, what you see is what you get. I shouldn’t have to remove my panties to find a good lover. Everyone is so desensitized these days, but not me. Even that plastic vibrator you’re using is keeping you disconnected and from real connection. I’ve traveled the world, I could have bought breast many times over, but I love myself too much to fall for society’s standards. I’m not a slut and I’m not asking you for money but generally girls who remove their panties are in fact asking you for money one way or the other. Whether it be a print or a book collaboration. So I am kinky, I am a vampire, I like kinky sex but I’m very private about my sexual life. I never said the blogger was fucking everyone, I said she’s fucking one person. And living in Alaska doesn’t rule you out of fucking sex.
Stop judging me by the covers I refuse to take off and start seeing me for my actual worth. I am not close-minded. But she is a sex worker, stop fucking being blinded by the shades and wording she is using. I DON’T LIKE HER AND HE SHOULDN’T BE WITH HER. BAD INFLUENCE.
Trust and you’ll be trusted Says the liar to the fool Lust and so what if you’re busted? In love and war there ain’t no rules
Do you believe in forever? I don’t even believe in tomorrow The only things that last forever Are memories and sorrow
Out of sight out of mind The motto of betrayal The prophets preach to forgive and forget I’m sorry, but I am unable
You went to L’amour Saturday night Red nails and lipstick dressed two sizes two tight His tongue down your throat His hand up your skirt Yeah I’m a man But it still hurts
You had cock on your mind And cum on your breath Inserted that diaphragm before you left Practicing freelance gynecology Where there’s a womb there’s a way With you it’s for free
Now it is true Lu has been after me since about 1978
Ever since I fled the compounds of those Pearly gates
Restricted to forever yet I castrated my own fate
I fell beyond the heavens to see what love I could create
“Alright, enough with the charades”, Lu had finally said
“Why did you call me here” as he leaned across my bed
And I a child started giggling until my face was turning red
But careful is the food I chew when it’s the devil passing bread
It was in this moment that both our eyes connected
I often wondered how many souls he had collected
Which of the seven sins had the best method
And was the numbers what they both expected
Those numbers won’t mean anything, if Lu can’t collect, both of my wings
Black as onyx, soft as silk, one feather would please all the kings
There’s unspoken pleasures that my feather brings
There’s only one in the world with the deed to these blessings
“First off Lu, I never called you here”
“If I were to pray now, it would be for you to disappear
My soul is not for bargain, let me make it clear –
I seem to remind you year after year…”
And now he knows I am speaking truth
Honesty, it’s what earned my wings of youth
He knows lying here, will never be of use
It is why I’m such a challenge and one he cannot lose
How are you liking this fantasy religion stuffs? Should I continue the story with part 3? I’ve been sort of taking the long way around, so I haven’t really got to the bread-and-butter yet. 😄
Really dig the last line in the 2nd stanza tho, I did goods there, right? 🤔 Made it worth writing part two me thinks.
What am I but skin and bones
A kingdom of right and wrongs
A street of worry and heavy are each stone
Once his muse, now a girl who moans
Watch how he exits and dethrones
He hasn’t a backbone
What am I but a bruise that won’t heal
And to his lies I won’t back down and kneel
And to his demise just a fifth wheel
And why I’m the scapegoat I’ve no idea
There is no resolution, there is no choice
There is no evidence of a voice
Now pull the plug but don’t rejoice
His love is simply white noise
We all have skeletons in our closet
Some wear many masks
We all tuck lies in our pocket
With questions never asked
If any were to audit
They’d see plenty had been tasked
It would hit you like a rocket
The truth would come so fast
And it is as loud as a trumpet
Truth will feel harassed
A sinner of mistruth or a prophet
The unknown is so vast
If only he hadn’t known it
Our love might have last