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I went to visit the tree we planted The seed that fell as our hearts connected The hope that grew as love erected A time before I was neglected
I buried my heart where you rejected And even left faith if ever collected I have found peace and wrongs been corrected The tree keeps our poetry safe and protected
I still plant his poetry in the better parts of me… his entire existence became a nebula for my poetry and to be honest I haven’t stopped writing about him. I wonder if he still reads these.
In an alternative universe, there is a tree growing with our initials, threaded together by our poetry.
His existence changed me. It’s still changing me. I wish he grasped the power of that.
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All this hair is like a furnace in FloridaOne Freckle for every reason why I love youAlways lost in translation…
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I climbed into his void like a womb Still I tell myself he’ll return soon Months go by it’s just me and the moon I guess my words did not make him swoon
I wear his absence in a darkened shroud Repentance for mistakes not allowed I hover over him like a cloud I kick and scream loudly as a child
I trust all the the time he is a liar And I don’t believe he didn’t feel my fire There is no cure to kill this growing pyre Well he went away but he didn’t take desire
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Cut me up and piece me back together, I’m still into you…
I’ve tried to kill the need but it just grows stronger. I need you hard.
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My birthday is in 3 days!! Still alive and kicking!!
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You tied the noose then left me hanging You pledged for days then changed your aiming You point your finger loudly blaming You have no proof for what you’re claiming
Your youth is gone, you’re well past ageing Your actions don’t match words you’re painting And every step you’re proudly feigning I don’t believe a word you’re saying
To be honest, I think rhyming gets me off. I get euphoric after I’ve pieced together a decent story. Sure, writing is hard. Rhyming is harder. But you wouldn’t see it that way if you saw me in a dizzy spell writing, sometimes pieces come together so quickly. Or the fact that I live and breathe rhyme 24/7. I think I might have an addiction, albeit, is it a healthy one? I literally write anywhere, and while doing everything. Sometimes I force myself to stop writing and other times I think I’ll never be able to write anything ever again. But alas, I’m still rhyming *sigh* and have been since the age of 12. I fell in love with poetry in the 3rd grade though, when I read an Emily Dickinson poem (I talk a bit about that in my thank you video on my Patreon for my patrons who join, so the video is still there if you are my patron and overlooked watching it. It’s been there since the beginning of my campaign). Anyhoo, sometimes I think I don’t have a drop of rhyme left in me. And then it is flowing out. In heaps. Like lava. And often with tears. My rhyme contains my soul. I lived in a very abusive environment as a child and writing became my escape. Writing was my coping mechanism. And still is of today.
My attempt at “But is it art” below… (but is it art was a saying me and my best friend used to say all the time when we’d fuck shit up. Like once, we redid a chair by putting our handprints in paint all over it graffiti style and writing “but is it art!?!). She died by suicide and I’ve never been the same. But all my attempts at art end with, BUT IS IT ART!?!
I nearly didn’t share this for a number of reasons. But here’s the thing, I don’t want fake boobs. I like feeling things. Might account a tad bit for my poetry. But for real, I’ve had many guys complain that my boobs weren’t fake. Had a guy break up with me in my 20s over it. And I have been peer pressured by society and men to get plastic surgery that I don’t want. I also breast fed an entire year, I have natural curves. And I don’t want to replace my sex organ with plastic for many reasons. I could have made my nipples harder I suppose, so hence ‘soft nudity’. I wasn’t trying to be vulgar or even sexual. Just existing in a hot bath and trying to capture my soft curves. Attempting to be artsy. Instead, I worry now my boobs aren’t sitting in their best, upright position. They don’t meet societies standards of perfection. I’m tired of feeling things though so maybe I should start getting plastic surgery and fake nails and fake hair and fake lips and fake eyelashes and fake tans… throw a fake personality in there too. ((Also if you’re one of the guys who’s ever put my body down… fuck you))! For real tho… desensitized nation 101. I’m not a model. I’m not a porn barbie. I’m a warrior poet, dig? Just trying to find myself and keep 100% authentic & real. I feel like I’m heading towards a dire ending like Edgar Allan Poe though. Cursed. It’s in our blood… I hope someone enjoys my little attempt at art in isolation. If you don’t like my body or my art, join the long line of boys who also don’t. I can’t be bothered with shallow waters any longer. Evolving into a better me slowly as my body is dying. Keeping my mind in a nurturing environment. SELF-LOVE.
The same vid as above but with different effects. But is it art? I never knew how hard wet hair can be to manage when it’s this long and wet and also heavy… (no filter). I really wish I could upgrade and get some decent camera equipment and lighting. Someone join my Patreon or make a donation please lol I need new editing software too!!! It’s my birthday this month!!! 😍That’s all for now. Can’t do much in quarantine. Trying not to catch the plague. Trying not to die by depression. Missing gig life to the full. No birthday gig this year!!! 😭😭😭
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I once held him like starlight in my eye But the light slowly turned to drab And hope was a rope not an inch to grab I watched a living life magnify and die
His breath was once a sail for my dreams But the air turned stale with mold and dust And hand was an enemy not an ounce of trust Life passed me by it seems
His poetry was once a creed and map But his words turned to curse and hell And love was a poison for not feeling well Between my heart and his there lies a gap
So I’m alive and still writing poetry. This is Annie Lenox. Rescue kitty. She’s been the queen of the domain several years now. Got her when she was a wee 15 weeks old, recently turned 7 years young. Gorgeous girl and sweet too! Happy birthday, Annie!! My goal is to get her a new tower from Kitty Mansions. She could use a new tower/ number 2. Won’t be til the Jeep is paid off. It’s coming! Highly recommend them!! Cat approved. Got her this one in 2015 (I think) and it’s withstood moves & 24/7 use! Isn’t she cute? She’s clever! 😍I’m still alive and writing and growing my hair out. 6 months dye free. Ack! Putting on some quarantine weight.
What does the room feel like after I’ve left Are there tears of joy you’ve finally wept? Now’s the time to take your breath Things in order how you kept?
Does the air turn to dust and cold And hope is breath that turns to mold? Is the darkness you worship wonder to behold Do you ever notice you are growing old?
Do you take these poems and place them in the attic Do you convince yourself I’m only erratic? Do you tell them all I’m just a fanatic Or do you admit to yourself you’re a narcissistic addict?
Does the blood in your calloused heart move faster Is everything you destroy a beautiful disaster? Is love the only thing in life you can never master Have you ever given yourself an honest answer?
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I just freestyle wrote this and shared it on my Instagram but I wanted to share it here also… I really love to rhyme!
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Life is only precious because it is fleeting It’s a shame you and I won’t be meeting Some people come into our lives only for leaving It’s a hard lesson but where I am leaning
You’re all in or all out There’s no middle ground to talk about I give you my best, you give me your worst One minute I’m free, the next I am cursed
Maybe I’m not the one or maybe I am For what it’s worth now I don’t give a damn For I am a lion and never a lamb And the hand you are selling is only a sham
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The sweetest poem I’ve ever written, part two. I swore the love bug off but fate is persistent (or obsession). But don’t worry, I have some anti-love poems coming too…
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All these centuries it was you I craved Hiking mountains of longing while your name I praised All these fallen ruins are bits of you I’ve saved Every foot in darkness steps for you I braved
Pulling part the ocean that’s the depths I paved Fusion in my core for the light that’s phased Trust in only love cuz that’s my heart you grazed Want to spend eternity with our souls engraved
Probably the sweetest love poem I’ve ever written. I literally enchanted myself. A first. But it is now after 2 AM and maybe I’m just tired… But my blog is nearing 50K views (that’s 50,000 visits folks) and I want to pee myself!! 😍
But I wrote a poem instead. And I hesitated to write a second stanza, but once I got going I’m glad I did… I’m sick to fuck of love to be honest. Someone said I was too young to be a cougar, that I was a cub instead. Well, whatever. Now that I’m ready to date and mingle there’s a bloody zombie apocalypse going on. I ain’t trying to die from the plague. Apophis (that huge effing asteroid) is returning to kiss Earth in April 2029, which sounds like a more exciting world ending, and I hope to get laid by then too… 😏
🤗
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Hi guys. If you’re reading this, I’m happy you’re well enough to do so. I know these times are tough. The Saturday Symphony, is a brand new weekly feature by yours truly. But before we get into what it’s about, here’s some poetry for the soul, Apathy Up, on a lonely cloud Watching what goes […]
Do you ever find my words enchanting?I’m late posting these…I’m still alive despite the pandemic growing in Florida…Invoke me with your words pleaseeee
I’m depressed, moody, withdrawn, emotionally detached, unavailable in every capacity. People swear they get it up until they’re screaming profanities at me for how evil I am for not giving them my time (or love for that matter). I am a fallen angel and a creature of the underground, I’m not capable of love. But a monster I am not. Just simply void and numb. Sorry not sorry. SURVIVAL MODE
What does all this mean? Depression means I’m incapable of forming attachments. Or joy. Writing is my only escape. It was my escape when I was a little girl and couldn’t escape all the abuse. I wrote poetry in between classes at school. On the bus. On the toilet. And guess what? I still do. Only now I’m sharing this part of me WITH YOU. But I lose friendships and followers because I’m unable to maintain communication right now. I keep telling people I’m depressed and suicidal but it’s like wind over the ears. They still need me to provide a service for them. I cannot. I barely can brush my teeth on some days. This is not me you’re meeting but some ruined version of what I might have could of been… (and yes under all the suicidal ideation I am gentle and loving and worth saving). So bye.
“Just another lost angel”…
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They need me up until I’m muted Chances are I’ve done something that couldn’t be disputed But when it comes to compassion it’s poorly executed And when I try my hand at warmth it comes across polluted
I’m pulling and I’m pulling for his wings to be uprooted There once was a time his heart could be recruited But cheap romance and chugs of lies was a game he felt more suited In truth he won and always will his wit can be saluted
Watching your love of others is feeling black holes collide And though I brush off jealousy my heart is gaping wide Fantasy a haunted garden where dreams are cyanide And watching you adoring her a spear into my side
Many you need but I only breathe for one And love you I may I’ll always be on the run The weight of the shame and remorse for all I have done Mistakes I have made but none that should permanently shun
It’s like you are a mountain crumbling down on me Harsh is your punishment and I’m having trouble breathing And call out I may but silence is loudly ringing Daily reminders I’m not what you’re needing
I miss coming up for air After your words would knock the wind out Even now the winter blizzard of your cold shoulder is predictable My cries and shivers numbs the void My face with permanent icicles And yet the sun will rise and the rooster crow And in a circle you will go
I miss when your tongue was a rogue wave How you made time another dimension Every syllable unearthing a treasure I will be your clown in a daze I am still a slave to your will Feed me scraps so I can feel
I miss the g-force rush of synchronicity Felt the Earth spinning with every metaphor and ending When caution was but a dark cloud passing And notifications were promises of heaven My lungs would fill with air after moments of dying Joy was the fuel that kept me from crying
oh hi my loves. i’ve just dropped some free spoken word on my Patreon campaign, as a thank you for supporting my campaign / & my blog. i hope you will enjoy it. ❤
Your words have heavy impact Formed craters from contact But now forever’s been taken back Honest is always what you lack
Hardcore truth in reality Desired is what I’ll never be Clouds of darkness chasing me Can’t undo what has been seen
Grasping at straws for a meaning Wishing for value just for an evening But cold is the hand you are leaning “I’m sorry” are words you are never repeating
I would die with you Without you dying too So begins the cycle anew Drowning in your blue
Walls, steel cage, or death I still loved you best Better than the rest You know I loved you best
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He’s going down a road I’ll never be taking But that doesn’t stop the moon every night from breaking Getting more rest won’t stop me from aging And long are the hours in shame we are aching
He’s a golden statue crumbling down The crown he wears just drags the ground He’ll likely beg where she is bound A noose around his fate was found
What is truth but feeling numb And watching others acting dumb Why have one when none’s a sum When you predict every outcome
I chewed off more than I can bite It’s possible I’ll die tonight I’m not okay but that’s alright You’ll never see me make it right
I’ve been approved by the state for medical. There’s so much fear mongering about it uggg. I’ll likely do a blog post about it. Is this still a safe place!?!
The Earth took a tremble and shake With every lie you create Magma still flowing In the direction I’m now going
The sky took a breath with thunder in her chest and we’re both crying I can’t stop you though from spying But the stars have since been hiding We’re through trying
The Sun has changed his point of view With every breath that we drew And every crack you fell through This is how to stop loving you
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I felt him swing from the heavens, into my heart he went And from the bowels of the netherworld, my soul came to ascent Our orbits must have collided, I have been feeling him ever since Collecting more than fraying feathers, I’m not that innocent
Watching him grow cold and devilish, while following his gradual descent Vision crossing planks of inability, I cannot stop these events Burning chains on regret, dragging around feet like they are blocks of cement The weight of consequence in this pit, the dead can still lament
I hope I haven’t misspelled any words, I have anxiety over that now lol. 🤓 It’s probably not about any one guy. It’s just a poem.But maybe they need to come with a disclaimer (it’s not about you I swear) 😄😃😄
Some videos featuring me and my dream to get to Mars! Watch for my name under candidates, this video gives me tears (my name is Delia Ross): https://youtu.be/SwT4pTusyVw
My Facebook Mars Candidacy page will have more info buried over the years with more vids, links to a podcast I did, Mars One updates when I was still a candidate in the running! I’m obsessed with Mars if you haven’t guessed by now… Feel free to follow my page! It’s probably worth reading back the post from when I was a candidate with Mars One! 😄 https://www.facebook.com/deliatomars
A hat in Florida is imperative. Anybody out there keeping up with Elon Musk? He’s always got his hands into making Earth a better place but all of the profits are for funding to get to Mars. Like this hat. They are digging some futuristic tunnels in New York I think. The Boring Company. Clever. It’s a nice cap too, stitched logo, 100% cotton, velcro clapse, not plastic. He was selling it a couple years back during xmas. Twenty bucks and it included shipping. Profits for Mars I had to invest lmao. Any chance I can be a nerd but many won’t understand the logo. 🙂 He sold 50K hats LOL I gots 1. It’s for Mars dude. I’m trying to stay alive to see the first humans land. I wanna hitch a ride! 😄 https://www.boringcompany.com/
He’s never once said he enjoys my stories My poetry, my writing, he must find it boring While everyone else gets all the glory I am left with nothing but worries
Are they lips or avenues where my dreams can run amuck Where I travel on your roads and can never get enough Are they words or are they spells teaching me how to conduct Are they pieces of a puzzle made for me to now construct?
Are they eyes or vivid skies the way they sparkle when I’m by Or just a cloud for me to ride when my hope is running dry Are they tears or is it rain singing me a lullaby A double rainbow passing through changing sorrow to a sigh?
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I write words for you grander than statues And still you would tear me into I collect rubble I stitch together fragments of time Your broken dreams are alive I give them life! And still you flew
I hold onto your dying breath like a pearl I show it heaven too But you are a fool
I told God you are forgetful You know not what you do But you knew Breaking my wings into Here they are for you
Wrapped and bleeding Like echoes singing Needless needing
They aren’t cherished in the places I go Still I can’t let go When I need you so
I buried my heart where you broke it Now it can’t be found I keep walking around Searching underground
I have a moral code, it’s angelic You wouldn’t get it
You keep chasing the wrong lines I’m writing overtime You keep committing crimes I’m begetting rhymes
They are gifts for a halfwit
I know it’s easier for you to slumber in hell Than chase steps to get well Heaven’s quite a long trail I went missing there
I hope one day to find my heart again My eyes grow tired from what it’s seen My feet are walking from this dream A nightmare encasing
I’m not well, can’t you tell? But like a comet I fell For you
Even angels fall Even angels crawl I am not that tall Underneath it all
Why are you a moon behind a cloud? Exterminating the sun And everything I’ve done I don’t have the gumption to fight the blues These depths you send me to are pressurized Why do you flank my fears Have I not sacrificed enough tears? My blood thick of you And every molecule I’m stuck like glue Can you erase me from your shit list Sketch a smile or two? I do not fare well When feet are quicksand Head sinking too Your berries are poison but I ate a few Just to taste the bitterness you accrue Just to feel the things you do Why do you lead me to darkness? All these acres feels like abandonment The atmosphere tenuous Like the link of us How do you forget? Was it as quick as lightning Your exit? Still I trace your silhouette I find clues on my doorstep Was that your regret? Leaving me too soon? Is that my tears you collect? Is defeat what you accept? Please return this June Preferably by noon
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I look for him in places he won’t be I’m not perfect like she I’m not anything Alive for humility So tired of suffering In cloaks of invisibility Why does he torture me He loves her infinitely I am nobody No one worth to see I am dying
Thank you patrons for supporting my dreams! I love you!!
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If I placed within your palm the center of my heart Would you set it on a wooden pyre Wrapped in silk and laced with fire Soot and ashes for your quill of black art?
Would you rather have a table Burning candles like starlight Where you’d hold me like I’m life Would my love you’d gently cradle?
In the parlance of our language Like lovers at defeat When I’m begging at your feet Are these poems here to anguish?
In your heart do I expand Like galaxies slowly forming Or am I just another warning Like the dead who died because they’re damned?
There are mountains crumbling inside of me Boulders sun-warmed from your thick voice Moss-covered limbs reaching for your skies Cobbles and pebbles charged from your breath and lightening You belong in these darkened caves Mining for affection You are a Thunder God shaking my core I rattle from longing Round me up as bedrock for your feet Walk all over me Take these stones and build your kingdom I fall for you Like a gentle slope bowing Climb these craggy edges Claim your territory I hunger for you Like a century-long thirst Come feel my rivers rush The way I gush for your tongue
She comes hard around the edges Never smooth like Vaseline Her heart was made with vines among thick hedges Growing thorns from things she’d seen How she traces every inch of his ledges Flourishing just like a queen There are secrets leaking from sworn pledges Lies and blood are guaranteed
He knows the answer but still he will ask, why does the sky cry rain? Knowing that the clouds carry all our weight and pain.
He ravages the Earth and pierces her with his spear, then asks, what are we doing here? Feels like our grave. The end was coming anyway, he’ll say.
He says, love has no direction, while spinning in a circle. And he never sets his eyes on her. He’s lost connection. And all of yesterday. It’s just a shame. The answer is always the same.
It’s not the best house but it’s definitely not the worst And if you think I’m worthless well honey you’re not the first And if you think I’m perfect well your bubble I’m here to burst And if you blame obsession I know I’ve got the thirst
I may not be a diamond but I’m definitely not a curse And if you’re wanting love well my heart left in a hearse I might have said I loved you once or twice in verse But if I stick around I’ll likely make it worse
Fallen Angel (self-portrait)I know I don’t matter. You made that clear. I don’t base my worth on you or my sometimes mistakes. People grow, people change. At least, I do. You’re likely holding onto versions of me that no longer exist. I’ve said my sorries, I’ve made my peace.
If you dig my writing, you can support my advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
If you dig my writing, you can support my advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
