Apparently I have worth (journaling)

And money

I have TWO investment funds


I currently can’t contribute to them but I can move them around and they are EARNING intrest

I’m not working currently but I could move them to an outside 401K or IRA

I have them nestled in a “safe” zone and I thought I had drained them and closed them – I had not :p

I had a weird lesson yesterday while waiting on the cops to show up for me – whom never arrived – even after waiting ten minutes in the parking lot – driving off a few blocks – returning and beeping my horn – still no cops – dern.

My future husband may be a cop – and cuffing me would only turn me on – as I’m dead inside with no adrenaline glands to tease me

So please – do as you say you will do – and call

(I did in fact see one turn and head that direction – just like in a video game – I thought – I’m playing real life – the heat is on – retreat.)

But in the games I have adrenaline.

I’m too calm taming the beast.

All these NPC’s getting in the way of my big mission

Cuz I came home and discovered I ain’t broke entirely

I could start the process to withdraw my money – at a 20% taxed penalty.

Or, move my funds into a “high risk” fund.

Maybe start with the smaller account, play around with him first.

I have nearly $12K

One with over 10k (big heart eyes) and one with over 1K (big heart eyes)

Money should make me feel something but it never has

I’m careless spending

I took a loan on it during my transition – thought I pulled it all – apparently I set myself up for success during my fall


I do want to take a financial class and I hope my next book I check out will be Americanized and not British – as the book I checked out was all about pounds (it did not say this anywhere on the cover or insert, only in the preface you cunt) – they (the brits) get to sit down on the job – life is different for them – and how they earn thus save. Fuck off, book returned partially read.

I will sign up for free financial assistance – they offer the vets this – fuck us up the ass but say “don’t worry, we offer free advising”

Sign me up

I’m paying attention this time

I still need a husband to manage my finances

I won’t have a husband cuz he’ll message “he’s running late” and I’ll demand a divorce since he’s “seeing a prostitute”

A Skype call will come in 2 minutes later where an entire team will yell “he’s madly in love with you” and he’ll come through the door with chocolate edible roses after the meeting

Since he humiliated me with the Skype call – had me red blushing – the whole office laughing

In 2018 the judge didn’t want to speak to me “until I took three breaths” because “I looked like I was about to jump from the bridge behind us” and I told her my parents didn’t teach me about credit or those kinds of monsters under my bed – she said hers did and she still messed up

But I thought I drained my retirement savings “staying afloat”

BB had on a life jacket apparently

So I called this morning, “I don’t know why I created a new account when there’s no money in it and I can’t do anything with it”

Well, turns out, I do have money – in two accounts – both earning – they can be moved to other funds (some safe, some risky) or moved to an outside 401/IRA.

If I start work again, I can contribute to them (disabled not obsolete)

I could take it all out right now and buy some land or a home

I’m done pawning things and selling things

I have a “savings problem” just like China (it creates inflation)

Monkey see, monkey do

I urge you to start saving too

Let the window clerk quietly quitting give you the fuel you need

Pick up that dirty money on the ground

I may pick up the lost dirty money but I don’t steal tip money you fucking cunt

Let that be the cue you need to quit spending thousands of dollars on weed that don’t work

The audacity

I am not your sanctuary for healing after you’ve committed a bad deed

My soul has boundaries

My thoughts too

I didn’t tell my sister goodbye when she was dying at age 45

So please, call the cops on me after you’ve insulted me multiple times, I will wait

My future husband may be arriving to arrest me

Maybe I will feel something

Uhm, I’m not as broke as I thought I was!?!

I woke up in a different timeline again

Where I have some retirement investments still – despite the Great Economic fall – I had a lifeline

“Life Jackets worn – nobody mourns” HOOAH

I am a wild anomaly

Still might be homeless soon – can’t have a feeling – but definitely be needing that new carpet if I inhabit these grounds another year

Apparently hotel living can cost about as much as a rental each month – but it may include coffee and zero commitment

Now might be a good time to chill out and not get arrested

It’s just, I’m feeling what Edgar felt and responding accordingly

Sure I look like a crazy wild ape, but they need to learn a lesson

God saw what he needed to see

I would have died with thousands of dollars I had completely forgotten about


What other gold have I hidden in society

It’s been earning me interest all these years

I think it’s important to discuss savings – so many out here struggling for various reasons

I thought I had lost it all

I have over ten thousand dollars in my one fund (not bragging, many years of investing into my fund through hard work) (getting up them early hours) (staying late) (pulling 60/90 hour work weeks)

Working 12 days straight in a row every month – without a day off – for nearly 8 years

And y’all complain when you go a week…

I worked the other weeks in the month too – just with a weekend off or two

I’m exhausted and disabled

But glad you don’t have to worry about quality control or ethics at your job – I’m done supporting society

And you want your tip first – giveme giveme giveme

Fuck you – I’m not tipping you so you can go get a hand job before you even bring me my meal

Fucking ass cunt

4 responses to “Apparently I have worth (journaling)”

  1. It’d be safer out of my knowledge or hands. I’m terrible at the stock market. Although this is in a government fund. If I do move it to market, there’s risk (much bigger).

    Got hit pretty hard – during my collapse – but I got a little foundation to rebuild.

    Gives me some hope!!!!!!!

    Gotta stack up on the library books on financing/saving/investing!

    I researched and it says to avoid the stock market if you don’t want your savings to plummet.

    They are earning and I can withdraw – just currently can’t contribute.

    I’m still out here learning lessons while drowning – sharing tidbits to maybe help others.

    I was near ready to buy a gun but got my library card instead!

    It’s not all roses out here! Trying to pick up where I fell!


  2. So. Did you know time.

    I’ve been doing some diggin’, lots of digging in facts, and the Chinese government has recently bought up a large debt worth, and they say we needn’t worry much, odds of them pulling are low – still anything that can happen will – and so – despite dipping my toes in the current, I have continued my quest (I’m secretly a squirrel) on where to “bury my money” and Gold might be my next avenue.

    Now I realize sleeping in the lion’s den with gold likely isn’t the wisest. But no one said I was stashing all my eggs in one investment portfolio.

    One avenue to another.

    I have recently written a poem regarding my “gold rush” and will maybe share it before the Illumini find me.

    Misspelled with purpose and intent.


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