Store said she’d been there the longest – adopted and returned
They said she likes to bite
Charlie already wants to extend the family
I told Charlie it might not be best knocking Daisy up her first night here
Not to mention the HABs aren’t even completed
I was going in for substrate and saw that sign for “50% off”
They said eventually it’d be reduced even further – to 75% and then well… she goes one more place and tries one more time (where surely she will bite and their number one rule for biting is “put down”)
It saddens me this society – this lifestyle of bartering one another at what cost
There was another girl that was born there – i really wanted her – she had a cow-like print
I NEED LAND
And a shed
I don’t care what the influencers think
“…this is animal abuse”
But mine are sleeping peacefully in their chaotic HAB
(HAB is short for habitat for those who don’t know)
They also get me as their caretaker and no one on TikTok seems to get that
I told Daisy today that the family returned her because she didn’t belong with them, she belonged here
I’m scared of Daisy
But she let’s me handle her, has not bit me, and has stopped squealing like a squeaky toy when I pick her up
She also allows me to segregate Charlie even tho she runs after him
It’s new to her
Probably hurts
She knows she wants it but she don’t
And Charlie be down there doing things that should be behind closed doors
But she could rip his head off when she is thru
And that’s the reality of adopting two Syrian hamsters from different stores
Male and female
Of breeding age
It’s almost like I needed enrichment in my life
Trying to keep two hamsters from killing one another or falling in-love
They said she was spicy so I named her after a sweet flower
Daisy seems to have already taken to her name
She knows not to bite me….
She’s learning her new HABs
She’s met Charlie 4 times – and he was ready to extend the family right away
They have been grooming one another
Licking and sniffing
Lots of face-to-face stare offs
Nose touches
Could be love or war
She’s not as fit? It was her first time on a 10 inch or 8 inch wheel. They had a saucer at the store
Prob used it to lay on
Charlie has a friend now but she could be a killer so I won’t leave them alone
I know I shouldn’t be buying hamsters while dying and not even having the correct HAB setup
But now my life has purpose
Can’t move into my Noah phase if the ark is empty
Back to the basics
They say I am a child that never grew up
So I got a hammy
Logical
(And I know you love me even more)
(But you don’t know why)
(Cuz you fucking hate me and will never speak again)
He’s still passed out by the way. Don’t think he wanted to be there a second longer (at the Pet Store)
He accepted his hay
I’m not handling him yet
Just want him to feel safe
They can die from stress
He likes his den
He didn’t like the box
He filled up on water and hay
Now he’s sleeping on the hay?
Under the raised platform that acts more like a slip n slide – and the little guy chews everything but my fingers – so gotta be careful what I add to help him get around
And the mansion is a no-go currently
One of the tunnels fell down, it’s unsafe, there’s even a plastic spot underneath the fall little guy could get hurt
Now the reviews were bad, I told the store this, but they insisted to get the “Heaven Haven” (and now I’m questioning the name of it) – furthermore – they said they didn’t even know what the return policy was
LOOK I’LL MAKE THIS CLEAR FOR YOU
MY HUNDRED WILL BE RETURNED FOR SOMETHING THAT IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE
Still, I have someone looking at it soon – so I don’t have to return it just yet – we might can sort it and he seems content in the smaller one – which cost more
At some point I would like to let him “hang out” but his safety is my priority and the little shit knows how to squiggle and break free
He tried when he chewed thru the box in-store
And I was attempting to hold him until a spare box arrived
He can squirm
But he ain’t never bit me as feisty as he is
Love the little guy too much
Only just met
Like 24 hours ago
(Maybe a bit more cuz I came home and slept on the decision is made)
P.S. some scammer tried to invite me to a Trump event for Soldiers
You know I didn’t vote, right?
I was part of the 300,000+ missing votes
But I ain’t missing
*hi*
And we’re an Army now
We don’t vote for the antichrist
We unplugged from the Matrix
Hope this helps
(I also don’t have a dime to give and if I did I’m taking it with me to heaven)
(Rules for me, not thee)
Ha!
This is also a good time to give thanks to God (thank you God for letting me spend all my dimes on little Charlie)
He’s so cool
He closes his eyes when he drinks his water and he comes when he’s called
It’s almost like it was meant to be – even if time is fleeting – for us both
I can’t stop thinking about his sister tho but I’m happy with one
I’m barely getting around and I don’t have to take Charlie for any walks
Had to put him in a second box cuz he chewed thru his first despite adding bedding, treats, and some food.
Charlie is my new best friend and has not once tried to bite.
He did flip over playing dead a couple times briefly and I was like “I didn’t mean to startle you” and he would just sniff my hand and go back to chewing thru the box
Eventually he did escape, I looked down and he was in the buggy
I was like, “Charlie!!!” “that’s not safe”
And he let me pick him up and snuggle him
He made it home safely and started exploring his living room den
He had water, he relocated his entire bowl of food under his den, where he also moved some straw as well as took breaks to eat the straw, before moving strands to the basement zone
Now Charlie is resting under the den and he has not even seen his bedroom double layer mansion – he’s already worked so hard
The mansion in the box…
I have insomnia so I got a nocturnal creature
Makes total sense
But I fell in-love with Charlie even tho I was going in for a mini newborn Black Bear hamster
I got a 14 month adult Teddy Bear hamster instead
I knew upon our afternoon meeting yesterday, while you were stuffing your greedy little face, that you were the one
I also bought you the exact shit you like plus shit you ain’t never tried
I think your basement needs more but also I gotta install your toilet in the mansion
That’s right, your mansion comes with its own bathroom
And the two-story mansion + roof with tunnel – is in my bedroom
So you can keep me up all night stirring
And we can sleep during the day like vampires since I can’t do much anything else
Charlie was the first to say hi
And I was okay with getting an adult
Charlie needed a home and was ready to go
Like we only got one life
Charlie was ready for his purpose even if I am dying…
Many videos were uploaded on the TikTok if you wanna see him exploring his new environment
*light language involved used as a form of artistic expression and not hurting anyone*
Remember, I told you I was trying to sort out my real life because it’s priority?
Well, I might be moving to Colorado
I gotta pray about it and sleep on it and all that shit but my heart is pretty much set on going to Colorado because the mountains have been calling me and I’ve been lost in purgatory and not exactly sure the direction I want to go until I reached out to my Chaplain and now my Compass is starting to turn to that direction, which is great because I was already considering Montana or Utah or somewhere out of the south because I’m like literally fucking done with the south like I’m done with the fucking south, you know
I spent time in Colorado when I was working in the military, I fell in love with the mountains and got married to them
They’re calling me home….
Six months is all you need to become someone new, remember? only I’ve got about five months left to make my move 🙂
Lease is up in July and takes about 30 days to close
I need a big big change
Homeowner sounds nice
Being in remission sounds nice
Getting his digits before either of us move or die sounds even nicer
I just threw the metaphorical dice
I mean, I have been praying for it
Direction
A husband
Clean bill of health for my second half
I told my chaplain that when I train it’s like I’m climbing mountains, but keeping my heart rate low
Like them people in the caves when they watch their friends die, they have to stay calm or they’ll die too
But I’m not in a cave. I’m normally just on the treadmill or my rebounder. Keeping my heart-rate low
Starting to hold weights and shit over my head, you know, calisthenics or whatever because my heart is not strong enough to do things
And it’s amazing how much my body is responding to the things I’m doing I feel like I’m gaining superpowers, even though I’m just going back to the basics of what the army taught me
today I woke up and got on the treadmill for 30 minutes and man it felt so fucking good to just have all that time remaining in the morning to haven’t even had coffee yet and I’ve already hydrated with coconut water and fitness and I was like “fuck it’s only 7:30 AM”
I have so much time to figure out my life when I’m not trying to fucking push out content on social media for it to be NOT EVEN RECOMMENDED IN THE FOR YOU FEED
OH YEAH
I was given no warning that it had been shadowbanned and thus the time to appeal it had expired
Oh yeah
You know they keep over 50% of the profits you make them all the while beating you down
I don’t need social media. I need a fucking husband.
And find a house to buy and some land and then I got to fucking pack all of my things and move across country all the while mourning the loss of a relationship with a guy I never even got cause Walmart tried to fucking kill me twice and so I’ve already ended my subscription with them and deleted my fucking account and the place I go shopping now doesn’t have any recalls at all
And I’m currently going through my fifth spiritual awakening, that’s why 5 inches of snow was dumped on my fucking head during my blood sister’s death anniversary
M’KAY
I also wrote a poem or two
I’ll probably share those in a different post.
when I calm down
from the constant atrocities
I told my chaplain I was lost in purgatory and running from the devil
Once I get to Colorado, I can get baptized again cause he baptized me in basic training, you know, but he would probably drive down to Florida to give me a baptism if I asked for it
I was praying for direction and guidance and I’m back in my chaplain’s life
I’m reconnecting with my aunt again
She definitely will help me in the homebuying process you know just the moral support of it as well as my chaplain who’s already involved
sleeping beauty they make it look all cute when someone’s being disassociative and a guy comes and wakes you up from some fucking spell you know, but in reality, that’s not how it works
I knew that he was everything that I would ever want and simultaneously built my wall so high before I got here. I don’t know,I didn’t want to drown someone while I was drowning but the reason I’m drowning is cause I needed him. It’s complicated whatever I’ve got to chill the fuck out there are lessons to be learned here.
I’ll be carving in the mountains your name
Maybe one day I’ll have my legends of the fall bear moment
But hopefully we won’t have to deal with anything like that but hot chocolate and a fireplace?
maybe just the hot chocolate
I don’t know if dying opened up some super awareness inside of me, but I can see all the time all around me the many ways in which you could die
The army trained me to be observant and maybe I’m just too observant you know because when I got a brain injury, it cracked open the light and I see everything now
In fractals
Isn’t it harder to breathe because I remember it being really hard to breathe in Colorado and that was before I got a heart and lung injury
I didn’t stay long enough to get acquainted. I was only there a week, but I mean I was there long enough to get married to the mountains.
The Great Outdoors are calling me
I’m dying down my social networks for a bit so I can focus on my real life, but I may bring you some updates on my blog, where I am also shadowbanned
It just means I’m doing something right because Type O Negative (a rock band) was banned from Germany and now Germany worships that band
Imagine being told you can’t perform in a country and that you’re not allowed back
or how Edgar Allan Poe couldn’t get any of his writings published because they too shadowbanned him
*laughs insanely*
I still have some of his words tattooed on me
*current photo*
On my ribcage
Where it felt like a crucifixion and I kept telling my fucking tattoo artist, I wanted to fucking kill her so you know
I was like maybe we should just stop here and have it half done and she’s like I’ll be done soon. I was like I need a break and I had to have been her worst client but we made it through together.
Even with my hate and all
she probably even would-of tattooed me again because we were friends forever after that on Facebook and everything you know
but I just now got back on Facebook my God I’ve been approving people from six years ago
I don’t know who’s who anymore
Except some faces are really familiar and I’m so glad to be back in these haunted halls
Some people are responding to my “oh hi” and some people haven’t even been on their own profiles in 10,000 years and other people are wondering where they’re at but I’m dropping “I’m still alive” postings anyway
Now I have you know bands that I love looking at my fucking story on Facebook and I’m like why aren’t they on TikTok seriously though I mean, why aren’t they on TikTok?
Todd Kerns, you know who plays bass for slash and Kev from Candlebox, I mean, I like this person, I once was
Trent Reznor still has me as his friend because he’s been deleting people. He’s not at his maximum 5K anymore, but I didn’t get pulled or culled
*would die*
Crosby @ VAST you know was full, but I sent a friend request. Of course he immediately approved me.
And there are others and more
This is the music i miss and adore
The people
Cev from Skinny Puppy
We friends
I mean, they know I’m alive and I’m so glad they’re fucking alive because fires be burning everywhere huh?
Kind of feels nice to be welcomed back in my own yard and have like people care that I’m there
Family, friends, and so on
I was gone for six years. They didn’t delete me and I’m gonna disappear again.
OK, some have not forgiven me OK like Alex he has not forgiven me from removing him from my Instagram or probably talking to his ex
Well he doesn’t remove me when I go follow Unfollow follow back and he also doesn’t respond to any of my comments or messages I send him even though I know he’s fucking reading them likely OK
He’s still my muse
I have no ill will
Against my great music loves
Lol
I couldn’t imagine showing up at a gig though and being banned from it like no you’re not welcome here that would be – I don’t know – humiliating and life ending – if life gets that bad for me where the musicians I support don’t want me to come to their gigs then Someone needs to come have a talk with me or something
That’s not reality though OK

I prob thought i’d be a ghost in my own hometown
People want me to haunt them
I have to try to recover my account at some point, but I’ll just wait until I completely lose access before I attempt that because right now I can still contact Mark Z.
I don’t know if him and I are friends or if I’m just following him over there, but it’s his official one and he’s responded to me before in the past you know, but I haven’t been over there in six years so he ain’t seen me in a minute, but I’ve already been active on his profiles already since I’ve been back.
U follow?
I posted “I’m here, but I don’t know for how long”
Hard to say goodbye to ends
Likely disappear again
I like drifting in the wind
I like meeting new friends
I might try again….
I’m on the mend
I mighta slightly begged him to return to Facebook
It’s weird though, because when Trent Reznor got off Facebook, so did I, but neither one of us really left
🙂
Symbiotic
I mean, I did ask him to marry me on his fucking message board when I was like 16 or something and he was flattered and that has to be archived somewhere with my username Delia
Things don’t really last forever on the Internet like we were told though
I was kind of being silly and asked him a serious question afterwards and he really enjoyed the music questions that I asked him, which I can’t recall at the moment and I’m sure I screenshot it it at some point, but you know where are those files
I haven’t even met Trent Reznor yet and I worry I’ll cry when I meet him
What is he on, like baby number six with MariQueen? 7?
Life is just totally unfair sometimes
Cause I would’ve had seven babies with some guy if he wanted seven babies with me and now I’m fucking nearly dead
Cause he didn’t have fucking nearly 7 babies with me!!!!
We could have started at 13!
WTF!!!!!!!!
Stole my goTdamn life!!!!!!
Made me fucking wait until it was too late!!!!
I hate the fucking nihilism in this world, and you know I’ll be dropping all the complaints into my chaplains inbox
He still loves me after all this time
I don’t even know where I go when I get lost. I just say I’ve been in purgatory.
I think if I get a watch with a compass, I’ll feel a lot more grounded. You know honestly it’s just back to the basics. That’s what I keep telling myself.
Standing on first base
I was in Trent’s fanclub
Bring back message boards and fanclubs
NO ADS
People were fucking mean to me on the NIN board but not Trent
All fans are mean to me cause I hang out with the bands
“I’m with the band”
I’m legit the kinda fan they want at shows
I feel them notes
Probably what brought me to this hell
Vanity
And I know that men would probably prefer if I wore makeup and dyed my hair, but there’s also the sense of that they get to see me in whatever chaotic state I choose to be in
and right now it’s
“I might be turning into a white cub”
Always a cub, never a cougar
Cuz some guy asked my age once when older (but i look so young?) and he said i was a cub still
Yep and now always
Stop asking me my age when I’m working so hard to look younger than the new generation who look as old as me already right
?!?
It’s crazy though because they’re 30 they already got rid of their sex organs and turned gray so they actually have to dye their fucking hair
And they don’t want kids because they’re fucking nihilist
“Life’s too expensive” they claim
“I’m depressed, that’s child abuse”
Whatever propaganda trend they follow – it all leads to nihilism like a black hole
We just got our hot water back and this is what I look like living through a fucking winter storm without hot water for over a week
I’m basically exhausted living in this apartment because there’s always something fucking wrong
I had the heat out for a week during the storm. I had the toilet out for a week during Thanksgiving now I had the hot water out during the blizzard.
I am not where I’m meant to be
Cancer still grows in low gravity and mold it’s on the ISS
And they plan to drop it in the fucking ocean by the way
“We don’t know why the fish are dying”
Well, for one you need to stop over fishing
And you need to start putting your biggest catch back
I’m still friends with some of my past lovers oh my
I must’ve been not that bad of a girlfriend
Cuz they married n all
And i’m still over here “single never married”
But surely they’re rooting for me?
it’s crazy how I distance myself so far from people and they’re like an email away?
A phone call?
If I could only remember?
How to keep a log?
How to not lock yourself out of your own accounts?
Don’t uninstall TikTok if you wanna reinstall it back
Luckily, I still had it downloaded on my Samsung tablet, but I had to update it so it wasn’t even in sync with my Apple one which I found that my bio wasn’t concurrent
So who knows if it’s accurate or not cause I can update it on one and it won’t update on the other
I thought we got rid of segregation, but man I mean literally what the fuck
I told my chaplain I was trying to get clean and he asked me what from what kind of drugs and I was dropping the seven sins like they were hot
I don’t drink and I’m trying to quit medicinal, but he doesn’t care that I do medicinal and I don’t do drugs
Just trying to cleanse the devil out of me
And the MOLD
People keep trying to ask me what kind of cancer I’ve got even though I’m like pre cancerous you know and mold is cancer. It’s hard to get through to them because people’s labs are fine up until they’re like stage four or some shit anyway right
I have an appointment coming up with my doctor and I may request a PET scan, but I’m not going under for anything. I’m basically denying any kind of fucking service.
My body, my choice
The VA don’t seem to understand
Cause they seem like they might start forcing vaccines on people before they enter
And then try to keep your benefits from you if you don’t get the vaccine to enter, and I can just see like a revolution happening that I’m not even gonna be part of
Like oh yeah
What’s next you gonna try and hold me down and give it to me
The millennials, Gen Z?
Try and hold me down?
Gen X?
The most dangerous generation to ever exist?
Is that spit on me?
Did you just fucking ghost me?
It’s weird being a fallen angel cause it’s like I have the keys to heaven and hell
But I wanna make it home to heaven
But i’m caught up in all these sins
Hard to explain to people I’m trying to get clean from my past
my chaplain instantly understood though you know I’m just going through a spiritual cleansing. I wasn’t sure what fucking number I was on four or five but I just had 5 inches of snow dumped on my head so I’m pretty certain I’m in my fifth awakening.
This is the Sunshine state
The second level of hell
And it just froze
*hi*
When something is so hot it’s actually cold and vice versa
You can’t tell if an object is round or flat in deep space
I watched a demonstration
I also learned that the moon landings were rehearsed by a very good director here on earth and that famous quote that Neil said actually was recording on earth because you know we didn’t have a fucking landline from earth to the moon or any sort of communication communications, you know like that
Also they drove through the Van Allen belt, but not one of them got cancer, but everybody on earth has cancer but them?
I dunno
My conspiracy knows no bounds
I got more rounds to fire
I need to get off social media so I can focus on getting my real life in order
But also, I’m nearly locked out of all of my accounts and some of that is my own fault and some of that is our governments
The New World order has been taken over
And I’m just like is there coffee or hot chocolate?
if the neighbor gave me a cup of coffee with, “will you be my valentine” written on it, the answer would most definitely be yes?
He thinks I’m running away from him, but I’m running away from everybody
It’s literally what I’m training my body for, to climb a fucking mountain and now I have a good chance to do that especially if I do move somewhere where there are fucking mountains, you know
Only, i can barely run around the block
But I’m so proud of how far my body has come, from wearing a heart monitor and being on bedrest, to packin my bags again and potentially buying a fucking house?
i’ve been approved for a whopping 300k but i DO NOT want to go that high
And I need to be able to afford the property taxes
So it might be a fixer-upper
I’ve got five months to sort shit and I don’t want to be in another lease
I think I’m gonna uninstall it again
And taking a LONG social media break
Maybe permanently like some of my friends have done
Never heard from them again
Hey, some of them disappeared so much their own family hasn’t heard from them
And yeah, they told me they were disappearing and they did pop out a couple times to say hi to me you know, but those were the last times
it inspires me to get off-line too for good
It’s big bro we’re running from lol
The politics
The arts
The science
Society
YOU WERE TRIED AND YOU WERE FOUND WANTON
Imagine getting to buy 1 to 5 acres anywhere in the United States that you wanted if you could just fucking find some direction
Of all the things someone could do with their money, you know
I feel like a SIM, just give me the land and we’ll go from there 
I just feel like any move I make is gonna be the wrong move because this is hell.
They have sucked all incentives out of doing anything in society
by the time you get your vehicle paid off you need to get another one. It’s gonna take the same amount of time so you’re just basically renting forever and I don’t even wanna play my PlayStation anymore cause if I don’t have the membership, I don’t have access to the games that I’m paying for so I’m basically just renting them forever And now I’m getting ready to sell my fucking PlayStation
I kept thinking getting a computer would be better, but they don’t even have SimCity anymore
it’s all pay to play
*yawn boring
Back to cards and board games
Playing in the dirt
Letting my hellhound stay out so long we both were getting frostbite
It was snowing in hell
I mean the sunshine state 2nd level of hell
I was in level 7
Now level 2
And on awakening number 5
Wait, something ain’t adding up
Or is it?
Could you explain dimensions to me like I’m a child?
My brain relies on signals and chemicals to navigate
People breathe in dead air and caves
People climb mountains and die from the cold weather or fall off cliffs
I just wanna start a garden. I know that sounds boring, but it’s complicated growing your own food. It’s also magical but it’s not easy work being self reliant and sufficient but it’s the life I wanna build
Upgrade to premium to remove ads?
Instant re-uninstall
The government is out of control
No NEW WORLD ORDER
I did not vote for this
In fact, the last time I voted, I was warning against Trump apparently and that was a long time ago because the last time I voted was Gary Johnson (twice)
There was an attempt to go vote for another third-party, but when I made it to the school, I nearly committed suicide so I turned around and came back home and now I’ve you know quit politics altogether and that was prior to Obama – i didn’t vote for Obama. I voted for the other guy you know – the military war vet now dead
Yeah him
Johnson was my last real goal at change
They took away our rights with the Bush signing statements
I didn’t vote for him either
I voted for Al Gore
I’ve denounced science 
I think I’m done with social media too
Like come find me in the real world in some well kept tiny little coffee shop in the corner reading spoken word
I’d still rather not read from my phone and fuck up in front of you
You get to see the behind-the-scenes in real time
The Bloopers
Or maybe I read my lines from an actual journal or book but never from the fucking phone or tablet no no probably not even a fucking monitor prompt or whatever they’re called Teleprompter huh?
if they keep cutting down the trees out here, I’m not responsible for how I’m gonna respond
They’re turning Florida into a concrete city 
They don’t clean
Florida has a mold issue
But I learned that it even grows in space so is less oxygen gonna be good for me 
All them taxes?
I want to pay my home off in 15
I still would rather buy land and put a new manufactured home on it
You can buy a brand new one starting at $43,000
that’s less than a new Jeep or ride
It’s 2 AM so technically I can start having coffee right because I’m not allowed to have it past noon and I’d probably go back to sleep at least from 5 to 9 AM but then that means I would fuck up my entire morning routine of working out but sometimes it’s nice to get sleep during that period. Cause it’s really my favorite time to sleep is when the sun is coming up And I really do.
Sleep
Like now – which i should be doing
But maybe the devil is nocturnal
This is a good time to poison him
I called my nurse again and said I was having difficulty breathing again so she refilled my prescription and I’ll be seeing my doctor soon but the VA is trying to take her from me
The one that took me four years to get to
I swear when I drop a lawsuit on the VA for medical misdiagnose and medical mistreatment, it’s gonna be a long list of female doctors
And nurses
And I don’t forget their fucking faces or names
My new doctor slowly turned her chair around and was like “whoa” and I was like “they’re the reason I’m nearly dead”
It was the way she slow extended her hands
Like “i’m not your enemy” but my vibe is “you kinda are”
I’m probably to blame for crawling in the hole, but they’re definitely to blame for dropping me on my fucking head and gaslighting me the entire fucking time
Stop asking me what’s wrong with me OK just know I’ve got some health issues going on and it’s not contagious. You’re not gonna fucking catch it.
It’s just there’s another doctor out there that they shut up and he says that cancer does spread. It is contagious can spread and many people when they get it cut out of them that actually makes it worse. It makes it spread. That’s why the cancer always comes back you know so I don’t want anybody cutting on me and I’ll try to eradicate it with some sunshine and prayer and eat healthy and all that but otherwise I’m choosing hospice I’m done with doctors.
And seeing as I’m a really good combat medic, I will take care of my own self to the end. I will be my own hospice care in my own house wherever I decide to die because I should have that choice to be able to die in my own motherfucking home
And these people we be leasing from they seem to forget that this is our fucking residence when our name is on it and they keep coming up with all these little stupid rules on how they can invade our privacy. No, I’m fucking done. OK I’m having medical emergencies. I’m dying get the fuck out of my house. Stop with your bullshit 24 hour fucking inspections or lawsuit is coming on you too.
the only thing i do not like is the high risk factor – but it is not a great flood
but a great fire
pick yer poison?
i mean the house is blue
“i thought you were gonna paint the hideous blue”
“the flames will ignore”
“well i think it’s kinda cute”
go all in huh?
it’s not quite “all in” but it is when you realize im taking on a pot of gold or dead bodies?
i got in the tub with cold feet but Sylvia was right (nearly) (and she should have took a bath instead of turning the stove) (still she was married to a psychopath and they love to steal our energy, time, and souls)
the feet were cold getting in but not getting out
and i sleep in various increments, i guess we should divorce? time for separate rooms? im loud?
it’s just i woke up wanting Blue – and that entire empire of “hmmm what is this” “where are the spy cams hidden”
(like aren’t you suppose to feel rested and less paranoid where you reside)
(i guess the paranoia will follow me through the war. i mean world)
i needed answers
i was like “literally a sign i will know is a sign”
so new numbers appeared
and i had just woke up at the “recommended sleep time” that the Insomniac coach gave me (yes it wants me to go to sleep at the times i keep waking up
but alas 222
and though they were speaking my language – i didn’t know the full meaning – just that it was meant for me (like all his lines)
if i start speaking in codes that even i don’t understand, i hope he will
because getting 555 and 222 from the uni
there are cheaper homes (hard to call a $100k dollar home “cheap”) and unfurnished
i literally have no idea how to decorate
i just know what i like and do not
and i like blue
out of the 14 homes he sent me based on all my demands
i have 3 people on my team working with me
got in the tub with cold feet but i didnt wake up that way
did you know blue was built the year i was born
i haven’t even seen her (physically) and im worried a dark colored rock is gonna steal her as soon as i do
nobody wants a fully furnished airbnb painted blue?
i wanna wake up and be that sim who has a 200k house to pay off
i wanna take a bath with the birds
but there are some amazing properties cheaper (on waaaayyyyy more land & unfurnished)
it’s just this one is “move in ready” seeing as i no longer have a pot to piss in
98% of everything i ever owned is gone
and the mold specialist called with some great tips
and i dont have to abandon my new wardrobe for fear of a “mold spore”
anyway hopes not up
prepared and willing to see more homes
if the dark rock fucks with me too much, i will get a fucking TENT
if i can still afford one after my tiny life savings was gobbled up by the Boomers to send to Ukraine and to pay for their homes on the cliffs!?! either way
remember how i told you they will back you off a cliff?
and then scold you for standing there?
if i move into another crappy moldy cockroach filled apt – with the potential of the ceiling caving in “cuz sometimes they do” (and he is “willing to come down to $1k monthly” that does not include amenities or the hoa’s for a 500ish sq ft condo cuz of the roaches tho they just “sprayed” and the unit “fully updated”
i squealed like a pig being gutted when i opened up the gorgeous brand new refrigerator and 3 cockroaches freaked out
me: “you need to spray again”
realtor who wants me to pay him $50 mo for an HOA “i can come down to 1000”
and im not allowed to rent a unit above $1200
but im allowed a fucking morg above that)
(nobody pushes bb in the corner but the boomers)
and all the houses are going for that with or without the furnishings
and i aint moving to Utah – not yet John
sorry
maybe the tub will float?
oh wait, calling for fire
but the whole of US is gonna flood but yer home eh
i mean, i hope the tub floats
sometimes if you pretend you don’t see the monsters they will leave you alone
i guess closing your eyes is a form of disassociation
im either all in or nothing at all (just a feeling)
like Florida will do what that other state just did
there are ways to fight back – without drawing blood
they may have taken our freedom of speech but not the spirit of the great eagle and what makes America so great!!!!! stop making shit so hard cuz you jelly!!!!!
they can’t take away our networking (word of mouth) and social bonds!
we werent born yesterday!
this isnt gonna go the way you want!!!!
i might could find some harmony in that tub out back
“im sorry, the owner changed their mind. nothing is for sale. but you can still eat the pizza”
the house has everything i need ready to go
i aint got no money to buy no washing machine dyer fridge stove microwave tv couch
i was coming with pillows and clothes (and an old senior dog)
p.s. im just trying to move out of the moldy cockroachy environment into a more suitable for dying habitat
it seems i may have to go all in for that
and since the boomers stole my retirement
i wont have any money to buy a stove
if a buy a house
“heyyyy ma we got a roof over our head but we aint eating!!!!!!”
but blue has everything i need right now – to move in
pro tip: everyone wants to paint their shit blue now since it is a magical color
it has a new roof age 4
it aint tin!!!!!
ill give them exactly what they r asking
per Realtor guidance
(but also my loan provider says i can get up to $2k monthly)
Boomers say i need to earn $6k a month to live somewhere without the crime or cockroaches
or go “all in” or be homeless – i mean the odds are stacked against us fully chained
im losing my own “fertility” down the fucking toilet every 3 weeks – and just like Jackie I have a hard time letting go after effort has been put in – and bless her little heart seeing the realization with the ravens visiting
she will have to leave the eggs behind for the ravens
another harvest failed
ill drop poems when i aint busy trying to save my life
dying can be long and tedious sometimes
hence “assisted suicide”
but i don’t need anyone to “assist me”
i dont want anyone seeing me “bleed down there” or out my fucking brain and nostrils
there’s already a bird bath to feed the birds
“comes as is”
and yes the VA do inspections, this is legit
if God gave you a tiny pot of gold, what would you buy?
but i signed the atf form, i passed my background check
but I don’t have a carry permit so shall not be infringed upon until the 23rd and then I can go pick her up she’s already paid for and she’s mine and the serial number has already been confirmed
I’ve already bought her ammo and a lock case; I have personal ammo and I have ammo for the range 🙂
yee-haw
and wasn’t i a kid in a candy store
One of the workers offered me a job and some of the bystanders were very interested in what I bought and everyone told me that it was an excellent choice and it’s a great starter gun 🙂
and it’s made in the usa
he said it fit my hand nicely
i got a picture of her 🙂
this ain’t no bb gun BB
new starter gun 🙂
couldn’t decide between a 38 special, a 9mm, or this 40
she comes with two 14 round magazines in the box 🙂
gotta get to the range soon – got ammo for that
and these hollow points that “spread out”
happies
scored this lock box for ten bucks and he made sure the size would fit by holding my gun to the box
pick her up soon 🙂
in Florida you no longer need a carry permit but if you wanna walk out with your weapons the same way you buy them you do
a little asmr gun unboxing at the store 🙂
i can’t promote anything gun related or i will get penalized and my account with an “armed and dangerous” flag 🙄
and possibly banned
because everything is Made in China but my fucking gun
I have been eyeing the revolvers though
and tho i have a soft spot for shotguns i dunno if i can handle kickback currently
I need to get my carry permit and I want to get to the range so I can get familiar with my weapon and be a responsible gun owner 🙂
guns be selling out fast and im jumping on that train
the boys were asking specific questions about what i bought
at one point i stated i knew how to drive but not familiar with all the models lol
I don’t recall firing a 40 or a 38 special in the army but a 9mm and an M-16 A2 rifle and live grenades and grenade launcher and all sorts of other shit I can’t remember yes 🤪
I was very efficiently trained to take my weapons apart in the dark including the firing pin and put them back together within a certain timeframe and wearing my gas mask
today I went and bought a gun and got a job offer
had several people tell me it was a good choice!!
i was like “i know i could buy a 9mil at this price but i wanted something a little smaller”
“i wanted a 38 but this kept catching my eye”
“there was three, and then two, and now there is one”
*laughter*
i just leveled up my game
and i need to refresh the skill sets i already have programmed in me
does it not come with a safety switch – lol
oh no
IS THERE REALLY NO SAFETY
babe why did you let me shop for a week for guns only to select one at 4:20 am without a safety switch
BABE
it’s his fault that he’s not here taking care of me and I selected something that I’m not familiar with or that I’ve ever been trained with
HIS FAULT
GOOD CHOICE THEY SAID
“don’t shoot yourself in the foot” was never once heard
hit the like button if you want to see how my range adventures go and I can’t post about this shit anywhere else on social media
I struggled getting the grenade launcher loaded in basic training
but once I did my drill sergeant was so impressed and he said I was the only one that hit the target which were tanks far far out but I used up nearly all my time to get it loaded
and you’re not allowed to throw the live grenade like a baseball and so it didn’t go very far and we had to jump in the hole the first time lmao
“I thought you played baseball” my drill sergeant shouted
But whose gonna tell her that “things aren’t well down there” and it’s not from hitting a vape from the ground? 😭
This is what men like/want 😭
Women wearing sweatpants with no panties shitting themselves in the streets? 😭
She gave this info out freely? 😭
I pissed myself in the Golden corral parking lot once because I ate too much and was laughing too hard
Does that count for confession? 😭
I told my daughter to never tell anyone 😭
The panic in my voice “I’m pissing myself / it won’t stop coming out” and then my daughter nearly pissing herself from laughing too hard
I thought I would take that one to the grave with me
But since people are shitting themselves in public – and I don’t know where the rest of this story goes – I’m too disgusted with these demons in my feed
Y’all the son was terrified to go – didn’t want to go – didn’t listen to his intuition – only wanted to bond with his dad – as the trip fell on Father’s Day weekend – he died in fear – as if it couldn’t be anymore heartbreaking
The parents first priority should have been keeping him safe
They could have bonded over dinner and a movie – it shouldn’t take extreme events to form a bond with your parents
My God…
Gut wrenching
Bless his heart
He was only 19 – a teenager – and the frontal lobe doesn’t fully form until age 25
He was just a kid…
A young man just getting into manhood
Not quite an adult yet
And fuck anyone who says otherwise
NINETEEN – TEEN – TEENAGER
How fucking dense are you?
I think those little red flags are messages from God – our intuition – that gut feeling
That we all seem to ignore
And often it cost us our lives
He shouldn’t have been allowed to go on an unregulated experimental deep dive sub – with zero experience
He didn’t even want to go…
And, there’s a video of the CEO bragging that you would hear “creaking sounds” and alarms warning if the hull would implode
You shouldn’t have to risk your life to get the love and care you need from a parent
As if, I couldn’t hate parents even more…
The aunt said he had a “terrible feeling” so sad
Parents aren’t worth dying for
And now they’ll never bond again
He died in fear, I know he did
His dad likely didn’t give a fuck about his kid – or his safety
Making him sign all those waivers…
Peer pressure
Fuck everything…
“Why do you care about the kid”
BECAUSE I DO
People aren’t worth dying for
Listen to your intuition
Little messages from God
Or 6000+ years of evolution
But he was smart enough to know something was off…
He kept crawling in that hole – for others
Only his hole was a sealed up tin can
And yeah, you absolutely feel the pain of being blown up – you do – even if it goes fast – you experience hell
Hi. My name is Delia. I follow/unfollow blogs. Sometimes I’m afraid to follow at all (even tho I want to). My comments are usually rude. I’m in therapy. K, thanx bye.
I currently can’t contribute to them but I can move them around and they are EARNING intrest
I’m not working currently but I could move them to an outside 401K or IRA
I have them nestled in a “safe” zone and I thought I had drained them and closed them – I had not :p
I had a weird lesson yesterday while waiting on the cops to show up for me – whom never arrived – even after waiting ten minutes in the parking lot – driving off a few blocks – returning and beeping my horn – still no cops – dern.
My future husband may be a cop – and cuffing me would only turn me on – as I’m dead inside with no adrenaline glands to tease me
So please – do as you say you will do – and call
(I did in fact see one turn and head that direction – just like in a video game – I thought – I’m playing real life – the heat is on – retreat.)
But in the games I have adrenaline.
I’m too calm taming the beast.
All these NPC’s getting in the way of my big mission
Cuz I came home and discovered I ain’t broke entirely
I could start the process to withdraw my money – at a 20% taxed penalty.
Or, move my funds into a “high risk” fund.
Maybe start with the smaller account, play around with him first.
I have nearly $12K
One with over 10k (big heart eyes) and one with over 1K (big heart eyes)
Money should make me feel something but it never has
I’m careless spending
I took a loan on it during my transition – thought I pulled it all – apparently I set myself up for success during my fall
AMAZING GOOD GIRL
I do want to take a financial class and I hope my next book I check out will be Americanized and not British – as the book I checked out was all about pounds (it did not say this anywhere on the cover or insert, only in the preface you cunt) – they (the brits) get to sit down on the job – life is different for them – and how they earn thus save. Fuck off, book returned partially read.
I will sign up for free financial assistance – they offer the vets this – fuck us up the ass but say “don’t worry, we offer free advising”
Sign me up
I’m paying attention this time
I still need a husband to manage my finances
I won’t have a husband cuz he’ll message “he’s running late” and I’ll demand a divorce since he’s “seeing a prostitute”
A Skype call will come in 2 minutes later where an entire team will yell “he’s madly in love with you” and he’ll come through the door with chocolate edible roses after the meeting
Since he humiliated me with the Skype call – had me red blushing – the whole office laughing
In 2018 the judge didn’t want to speak to me “until I took three breaths” because “I looked like I was about to jump from the bridge behind us” and I told her my parents didn’t teach me about credit or those kinds of monsters under my bed – she said hers did and she still messed up
But I thought I drained my retirement savings “staying afloat”
BB had on a life jacket apparently
So I called this morning, “I don’t know why I created a new account when there’s no money in it and I can’t do anything with it”
Well, turns out, I do have money – in two accounts – both earning – they can be moved to other funds (some safe, some risky) or moved to an outside 401/IRA.
If I start work again, I can contribute to them (disabled not obsolete)
I could take it all out right now and buy some land or a home
I’m done pawning things and selling things
I have a “savings problem” just like China (it creates inflation)
Monkey see, monkey do
I urge you to start saving too
Let the window clerk quietly quitting give you the fuel you need
Pick up that dirty money on the ground
I may pick up the lost dirty money but I don’t steal tip money you fucking cunt
Let that be the cue you need to quit spending thousands of dollars on weed that don’t work
The audacity
I am not your sanctuary for healing after you’ve committed a bad deed
My soul has boundaries
My thoughts too
I didn’t tell my sister goodbye when she was dying at age 45
So please, call the cops on me after you’ve insulted me multiple times, I will wait
My future husband may be arriving to arrest me
Maybe I will feel something
Uhm, I’m not as broke as I thought I was!?!
I woke up in a different timeline again
Where I have some retirement investments still – despite the Great Economic fall – I had a lifeline
“Life Jackets worn – nobody mourns” HOOAH
I am a wild anomaly
Still might be homeless soon – can’t have a feeling – but definitely be needing that new carpet if I inhabit these grounds another year
Apparently hotel living can cost about as much as a rental each month – but it may include coffee and zero commitment
Now might be a good time to chill out and not get arrested
It’s just, I’m feeling what Edgar felt and responding accordingly
Sure I look like a crazy wild ape, but they need to learn a lesson
God saw what he needed to see
I would have died with thousands of dollars I had completely forgotten about
LAUGHS
What other gold have I hidden in society
It’s been earning me interest all these years
I think it’s important to discuss savings – so many out here struggling for various reasons
I thought I had lost it all
I have over ten thousand dollars in my one fund (not bragging, many years of investing into my fund through hard work) (getting up them early hours) (staying late) (pulling 60/90 hour work weeks)
Working 12 days straight in a row every month – without a day off – for nearly 8 years
And y’all complain when you go a week…
I worked the other weeks in the month too – just with a weekend off or two
I’m exhausted and disabled
But glad you don’t have to worry about quality control or ethics at your job – I’m done supporting society
And you want your tip first – giveme giveme giveme
Fuck you – I’m not tipping you so you can go get a hand job before you even bring me my meal
I’m told I’ll be getting a renewal invite to remain at the heart of darkness.
It’s been nearly one year since that couple was gutted in the street – by a black immigrant – simply because they were “white” – and now they’re dead – and he gets 3 meals a day, a free roof over his head, dental, and an HOUR of sunshine for his MENTAL HEALTH – on us (the tax slave payers dollars = time/energy)
The political thugs in gold chains now want your signature – soliciting anywhere they legally can: the library, the mall, the medicinal shops.
Overjoyed.
I don’t know where I’m going – but I don’t have to prove anything to “remain here” as I’ve been stuck in purgatory so long now – I don’t have to provide any evidence of my existence.
Just keep paying the rent….
Do as say
But I yelled at the boomer Publix employee, “no bitch, you lost a fucking customer FOREVERRrrr”
Apparently we became a cashless society and she felt the need to rub it in, three times, scolding me in front of everyone around, my cash in hand, unable to pay.
“It says it right there” (honestly, you only need to point out my failure ONCE)
I’ve boycotted Publix forever
There’s poison and sugar and “natural flavor” in everything now anyway
“How did she die”
“Starved to death…”
“White people work out one time and be skinny” (latest neighborhood report on me)
The upside: they think I’ve only worked out once. Skinny. Weak bitch.
Let that be my fucking gain
In fact, at Burger King yesterday, the Mexican manager came out with two of her BLM pimps, when I told her to “step outside”
He was very upset when he heard me say, “oh you had to bring your pimps with you huh”
Very upset he got
Truth in fact hurts
I drove off too calm
The adrenal glands were not working
Even pulling off
“I’m too calm”
“Had to bring your pimps huh” I continue to yell, as traffic at the window was at a stop
They gonna run off all their white costumers with their terrible service
I ordered the “impossible king” and apparently that’s too complicated for certain species to get right
Though I repeated my order THREE times
Fuck it
I like starving anyway
I got my library card tho
And holyshit, that’s where I’ll be at the end of the world
Check the libraries
Leave clues a 5 year old could solve (anything harder and I’ll read the data wrong and wind up stuck in a fucking hole – as is now – with a heart condition – thanks to “television” and government – whom I no longer listen to in any capacity)
At least the library is ad free
I can read in silence
Love the smell of the old books
All them lies
There are perks to not being homeless (yet)
Aside from the thugs trying to solicit my signature in the parking lot – everywhere I go
In their gold chains…
I wanna puke
Stop talking to me
From now on
When someone interrupts whatever I’m doing solo
“Did I give you permission to talk to me”
And the ghosting will begin
And please cross my shadow
I know you’re trying so hard to break me out here
Of being a good Soldier, a good soul
But I swore my hand before the flag and God – and on my heart – and signed the dotted line – took my blood and all – to protect and defend the USA and its citizens – not DEMONS
And right now you stepping all up in the “fine print”
I dated for a lifetime and have nothing to show for it
STOP LOOKING AT ME
I’m ready to spit on these thug politicians in the street
FUCK OFF BRO
You can’t have my signature, my name, or my soul
Go back to your porn and prostitutes
I was trying to enjoy the jazz event – and men breaking their eyeballs to get a look
STOP LOOKING
I had to hold back the tears
Pretend the music was getting to me
Next week I hang with a cop who teaches about a Daytona Beach serial killer
Exciting! They want us living in fear!
Do I want to say yes to the “true encounters Daytona Beach serial killer” event. Yes I do.
I’m not even a jazz fan – but I went – and enjoyed (still cry anywhere)
The audiobook helped me not stalk anyone
But apparently I’m not allowed to order food anymore anywhere
Unless a yuppie place
I found something that sparked joy in me
It matches my values – it offers self-improvement and the entertainment is how it should be – without disruptions or ads
Easy scrolling interface
Eventually I’ll make my way to the science museum
The skate park and rinks
I checked out an express book
I’m 8 chapters in
I’m becoming present – and creating boundaries and discipline
My mind needs exercise – the books provide
The 2 week express lane gives me a challenge
You can’t renew those
I got my library card and it’s bringing me happies – can’t describe
So much to do too – free classes, movies at the auditorium, events…
I was also the youngest person at the jazz event
If you’re thinking about killing yourself – maybe get a library card instead
And be present
Read what you check out
Set time aside to read
Luckily – my first book was large print – that’s made reading a pleasure – no headaches or squinting – though the writer is a pedo – he’s brilliant – it’s no wonder I grabbed his book – of all books on the “new” shelf (express check out and no renewal)
I like all the digital perks that come with my card – as well as the real world perks – and I’m tapping into all
NOT READY TO DIE
But these monsters are ready for me to shed my light
I apparently don’t believe in abortion or euthanasia.
“Thou shall not kill” hits differently for Angel Baby.
Non stop worry and crying followed by a dopamine boost of milk, cinnamon and sugar… left before my free refill, welp… (and left crying lol) (also learned I’m not into normal things)
The little mutt may be a Frankenstein made in a lab, but he has a soul and a heartbeat, and I’m not getting in the way of God or his plans and whatnot.
So I have a hellhound in this timeline. He hates it here (this location) as much as John Jones hates that cave.
Hear, hear
The crows were never here the prior four years.
Neither was BlackRock – who took control of this building
I need out the city
The Titanic is sinking overrun with racism and murder of white folk by Black Lives Matter but white lives don’t
Check the census. It’s not just how people are reporting stupid.
“So you don’t believe in interracial marriage”
You can marry who you want but I don’t want to live in a predominantly black neighborhood ever again…
I’m autistic angelic
I curse and say “autistic”
I’m gonna get committed
The enemy is in a white coat and White House
My mama think I got a “dirty mouth”
Over and out…
To those still lurking, thank you. Maybe one day, a night bloom.
The day resets The bath grows cold He’s no regrets Said life is love But mostly debts Let luck manifold And you’ll have no sweats Little gold Cuz I stole success And you cannot fold
I love how a Taco Bell subscription is $10 a month – Walmart $13 a month, the car wash $19.99 per month, but because I’m a commoner, and most men have a porn and gambling addiction, and most men wouldn’t spend a dime on me, let alone a penny, because they’d rather send me marriage proposals or tell me how much I make their dick hard, for three years on social media, because “your pretty” is the validation one needs and they just sold their house or whatever, and I’m suppose to chat with these men on the daily, without them so much as ever buying me a coffee, or joining my incredibly cheap Patreon tier of ONE DOLLAR, even though they tell me they visit my blog and “enjoy” the content and “I’m gonna go far”
And being the observant that I am, I read the details. It included a secret on the back. God wanted me to know. I feel it is a universal sign. I’ve been making many stews after all. And today, included cinnamon bark.
(Protein of choice can be used – I’m avoiding lab made proteins – but am Flexitarian and mostly consume a vegetarian/vegan diet. I’m a picky meat eater too; beef, chicken, turkey mostly and fish on the occasion).
Making stew with spring water and cinnamon bark
I made my broth from scratch again – but memaw (my grandmother passed) never tossed out the fat from the meat and today I decided to do the same. Since I keep skin and seeds on, FAT PLEASE.
Ingredients used: spring water, Tomatoes from the Vine, cherry tomato medley (later popped), cinnamon bark, fresh garlic, onion, celery, cilantro, sweet yellow, orange, and green peppers with seeds, rainbow carrots, dry green split peas, wild rice blend, rosemary, thyme, parsley, salt with the necessary nutrients (maybe), pepper, potato with skin on and washed, red kidney bean (but I can’t buy canned beans anymore because they are putting things in them that they should not and I’ll stick to adding dry lentils, split pea, rice, ect). Added half can of tomato sauce too which it absolutely did not need and the stew would have survived without it)
I cooked up ethically sourced organic beef with onion and spices and put 4 spoons of the fat into the stew. I continued cooking the beef to a nice texture and gently added it to the stew – and then a shit ton of cabbage 🤪
I let the cabbage cook down some and then I added even more cabbage
But that wasn’t enough. So more.
IT’S THE BEST SOUP I’VE EVER MADE AND I SAY THAT ABOUT EVERY POT BUT THIS ONE CONTAINS A SPECIAL SECRET INGREDIENT
Cinnamon bark. It’ll be going in everything now. Practicing gratitude. Thank you Lord. Now maybe my stew is fit for a king.
A lump of cinnamon bark in the leftovers
And I put it with the leftovers. Apparently cinnamon is a great anti-parasitic and pet friendly too.
The dog went mad for my soup. He got second’s plus additional bites.
My bowl consumed in light-speeds – did not add a pinch of anything.
So the stew would be good without a meat protein source but the heart demanded. Just don’t add meat.
I made homemade vegetable beef this time. Probably not like anyone else makes it.
I’m terribly full but already greedy for another bowl. I’m stuffed. And definitely wanna enjoy leftovers so gotta ration and need a bigger pot! 🙂
Happy holidays. Still eating my nuts and things. I’m going to a food drive on Friday. Curious to know if the universe will gift me any secrets. I’m invested. 🙂
Oh and, scored my 3 pack detox for the price of 1. Grateful. The detox continues…. the heart journey, the healing.
I just let the entire medicinal shop know that the Daytona Beach gang was after me but that the universe was speaking to me right now with this song and that y’all are the dumbest criminals ever
THEY WERE ALL SMILING
And then I started feeding off of that energy and bouncing up and down
THE STAFF WAS SMILING
I even said I was going to do a TikTok video with this song dedicated to you
I stated that
YOU WILL NEED A RESTRAINING ORDER TO STOP ME
Cause-and-effect
HAVE FUN
And I’m already skipping up and down the sidewalk with this playing on repeat
Just checking my mail skipping
Just taking my dog for a pee
Minding my own business
I hope the gaslighting is working
The vehicles have mirrors
I can hear you breathe
GET OFF MY DICK
🖕
*skips*
*smiles*
*song on repeat any time I leave the house*
The devil has an invite to bust my fucking door down I double fucking triple dare you to fucking bust my goddamn doors down bust my fucking doors down cross my motherfucking shadow do it fucking do it you little fucking piss ants that will never amount to anything and you’re never coming to heaven with me I fucking dare you to fucking cross my shadow
IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD AND I FEEL FINE
Let the love of my life know I’m nearly healed
I might let him near me in the future for a hug
I threw a glass Coke bottle at his head once a long time ago but I knew he wasn’t gonna move so I put a slight spin on the bottle right at the very end
I don’t know why buying nuts has to be so complicated but it’s really hard to find the ones that aren’t roasted or coated in something that isn’t poisonous but I do have a pound of cashews to get me through the month
Nutty for nuts (please plant me a private nut farm)
I’m a Flexitarian
I’m eating meat cuz I’m dying and need the boost
I don’t need an excuse 👀
Deep down in my bone I’m Native American and we eat meat
My grandmother once told me stories how she would wring the chickens necks with her bare hands for supper
Now I can pay a small delivery fee to get someone to bring me some boneless skinless chicken because I’m spoiled
If you can place an order properly
You know you love learning from my mistakes and watching me suffer
There are certain animals I will never eat nor have ever touched
Yes I can be picky
There are certain fruits and vegetables I won’t touch either
Deal with it
👁🫦👁
I love you (but need certain foods)
(I produce eggs)
Granted, I do need/want/demand a vegetarian diet more than a meat
I don’t want to eat meat three times a day or every day
People all up in my plate when they don’t even have healthy sexual habits
Most of the meat I’ve had lately has been canned tuna or chicken
I do hate how the animals are being treated
I hate so much about the world
And I am a completely inexperienced hunter/gatherer
I’ve barely been fishing and what few times I did go and what fish caught I released
The Great Void I’ve stood the edge Gave humanity my hand I have tried to help the damned God has licked the wound where bled And I stand near him unfledged
I peer the end All nothingness Not overjoyed Not his to dress
I am the world Though light is love Taste amaroid Like darkness tough
Fell through the rough Found heaven’s grace Have keys to gate No name to face
I’ve stood the still Frame by frame revealed Lost my soul and will Yet God is here….
I reckon I’m gonna have to bite the WordPress hook and upgrade my personal plan to the premium plan since I’ve used up all my 6GB of storage space 🙄 and just pretend the universe is pushing me to upgrade my plan so I can have more media space to upload photos but also unpack yeti from its box to do soft poetry readings and spoken word
To be fair, I have been dying
But I will also at some point maybe be producing some subscriber only content on my blog/website instead of over on OnlyFans (I don’t do porn or self-gratification, I’m an artist and do nude photography – many say softcore is obsolete, but I’ll be offering it here on my website instead- and if someone could please teach me how to set up subscriptions on WP instead of me having to go figure it out through WordPress that would be great)
I’m already on a plan that allows subscriptions and donations, I’ve just used up all my media space and either need to delete stuff off my website or upgrade and at this point it’s time to upgrade because I’m growing aren’t I? I have over 1000 followers now and nearly 100,000 views!! 👀
So when I’m not dying and can put my head into the WordPress books I will figure out how to do the subscriber only content (this won’t be for every post, just my random spicer content)!
Not everyone wants to see my exclusive Rated R nude content but I’m tired of giving other platforms my visitors – especially when most platforms I have zero voice as an artist
I don’t want to push people to another platform when they come to visit my website
I want you to stay here in heaven with me 😇
GIVE ME ALL YOUR ATTENTION 🤩
I was at urgent care yesterday again so I don’t know how quickly I’ll be able to get stuff going but just know stuff is in the pipeline and I would like to get some more nude content out to you, it will be through my own website though, you won’t have to leave or sign-up anywhere else
I’m indecisive on what I’m doing with my Patreon account but I’ve been very grateful for your support over the years!
Because of it, my website has and remains advertisement free (zero spam)!
If you sign up for my blog posts via email, advertising will never be in your email either! Zero spam!
I may be the last place on earth that’s free of advertising 🤔
But you won’t have to worry about accidentally hitting an advertisement when scrolling or installing spyware or a virus
You can scroll freely without a condom ahem 🤪
I’m dealing with heart and lung issues since I got the vaccine – I’m still a weirdo tho and I miss doing the cosplay for you to accompany the rants, poetry and prose!
I will definitely upgrade my plan soon so I can at least start attaching photographs again to my rants and poetry
It may be the new year before I start any subscription only content!
I may do it via donation instead of subscription (like where you can pay a small fee to unlock the post)…
Stay tuned
Dying but not dead…
PSST… I have a free OnlyFans and will be active there when I’m feeling better – thank you for subscribing! My inbox is open there to say hello! I’ll let everyone know when I’m back and active! I’ll be going live over there to show you the beach and things! Softcore 🤪
I scheduled my email for deletion. I didn’t save anything. Conversations with my dad, the dead, intellectual property, spam, the whole shebang. It’s gone. Decades and decades of conversations. Nothing saved.
I don’t want to remember anything of my life.
Is anyone worried for me? 🤔
Y’all, it’s gonna sound weird but I did a vinegar foot soak, and my breathing improved. My body was going into anaphylactic shock. But there was an advertisement that kept appearing over and over again for a home remedy
And I thought what the fuck
I know I was nearly burned on the stake in the past for witchcraft but…
A witch needs land and apple trees
An apple a day yes
Let them rot
And ferment 👀
Acid is the cure all (well not the cure all cure all but it’s now my number one most loved stench)
The Garden of Eden is full of vinegar on shelves 👀
Don’t judge
I’m not even coughing hardly any more
Welp. I don’t know how many lives I’ve now used but I feel like I’ve got a new body
Compared to “I’m not gonna get out of here am I” 👀
And I wasn’t just going from panic to calm, my body was breaking out in hives and I couldn’t breathe
And the VA were like, “your tests results are all fine”
And I literally left a voicemail screaming at patient advocacy that I was about to fucking die and that I needed a new care team but then I found out that if I got a prescription outside of the VA that the VA would cover it so you know
oh did I tell you I went to church Sunday?
I have energy again
So I’ve been doing vinegar foot soaks for 10 to 15 minutes three times a day now
🎃🎃🎃
Apparently you can drink vinegar as a tonic too so I’m about to be drinking in it, not just bathing in it (and I’m doing facial tonics and even ear swabs)
I find white distilled vinegar works best
I mix it with water
Half and half but you should do stuff based on your own skins tolerance
But don’t ever put vinegar directly on your skin because it’s acid and it will burn so you need to dilute it
Don’t get it in your fucking eyeballs or anything
Apparently you can do a scalp soak and it will cure dandruff 👀
However, it can dry out your hair but I’m gonna be giving it a go! Dip dip!
Just change blood bath to vinegar bath (put 1 to 2 cups in yer bathwater if you want your skin to feel soft as a baby again, soak for 10 – 15 minutes in lukewarm water a few times a week – skin not hair)
I have also learned you can use it as a deodorant and mix it with like lemon water
Seriously, it will kill any kind of foot fungus or order too
Sentinel and witchy
Who knew it was gonna take vinegar for me to breathe again 👀
An apple a day
Still learning the big lessons
Feeling better but I hope it’s not that little burst of energy you get before you die
It took a weird ad about a home remedy foot soak to get me cured
And no, the water did not change a weird funky color
My skin immediately began to improve
And then my breathing
My lungs are clearing up 👀
My heart is feeling anew
I don’t know what to tell you
A fucking weird ad saved my life
And I was reading article after article about black holes and the multiverse at 2 am – it was one of then weird click-bait type ads you see
I didn’t click it or anything
It’s just a bunch of them ads you see following an article when you’re reading comments about something
And I’m not exaggerating about going into anaphylactic shock or the fact that I was actually nearing my mysterious death
Clearly needed a detox
I need to go shopping for the other ingredients to start drinking it so I’ll let you know how the drink goes
Again, if you don’t mix this shit right you can burn yourself
But my body has had nothing but positive response
And until I feel like I’ve expelled the devil, I will continue the routine of vinegar soaks, even if not as frequent
I love how baby soft my skin is again
And the fact that I can breathe again
Without a machine 👀
Edgar Allan Poe and John Jones are my spirit guides
John was a Mormon so they probably used vinegar to clean everything
Do you think the compass lead me to the fog? And freewill, is that something we evolve? And my hopelessness, is that something you absolve? And what of worry, do we have reason at all?
Welp. What’s next? Gouging my eyeballs out while I’m still alive cuz he can’t stand what I see? 👀
What if I’m blocking all the passages preventing me from being able to come back or from you going further?
I can’t crawl back up the hole now anyway
Gravity 👀
What if I’m blocking you because I don’t want to be saved and I don’t want you to get hurt? 👀
What if I die because I know too much? 👀
These caves are crawling with paranoia
And you can’t scratch
I don’t think you should be crawling around the places I’m going, you don’t have the experience that I do
The Army trained me to observe
I see all 👀
And I need land pronto fast to dig several foxholes and an underground bunker like those in NAM.
And a T3 armory 👀
The Army trained me with LIVE grenades, I have a badge and all 👀
Had to run around an obstacle course with live grenades, with our drill sergeants randomly pretending to be an enemy trying to get them off of you
They did not get them off of me, they tried 👀
Where’s my old school Army at? They probably training everybody with video games these days…
They don’t even have to enter a combat zone, they sit in the fucking chair in a building to do the fucking dirty work,
This ain’t the same fucking country anymore
Apparently India has changed all the rules because they got all the best positions and management positions now and Mexico coming in second place in America and I reckon Japan and China are under that list but Americans are way low down on the totem pole on jobs and that’s a fucking issue for me and a huge red flag 🚩 safety issue Trojan horse, this is fucking war, I’ve called it!
I mean it’s true I can’t live without you but I’m not going to lead you to doom
👀
I may be petite but I have a big big purpose
Policemen and soldiers have a way of listening to me 👀
I hope nothing has changed in this timeline
👀
There’s a problem when I’m being denied government work so that people from other countries can come over here and get those positions
And the rent kept going up so I had to use my thrift savings retirement fund and also the money I had in my savings account and I also had to max out my credit cards when I became homeless in 2017 because of the government furloughs and the government hiring freezes and I couldn’t pay my thousand dollar rent anymore and I didn’t have anybody to take care of me and when I reached out for help, every single person in my family turned a blind eye while I had to watch them make huge donations towards animal fundraisers on FaceBook
👀
So they had money to help out some animals but they didn’t have money to try to help me keep my vehicle that I had already put $18,000 in 👀
And I hate every single one of them and I hope they all burn and I hope that they know they are not welcome on my commune and they will not be receiving my help so don’t fucking come to me, they are also my enemy 🛑✋🛑
No blood allowed! 👀
Ain’t nobody going the tight places I can squeeze
God made me lethal but petite 👀
I’m also clumsy and not sure how I’ve already survived this long 👀
You should know that all my shit has been hacked into 👀
I turned off tracking everywhere but they’re still tracking me
And according to a recent article I read they will track you more when you request them not to track you 👀
Okay but that’s illegal!!! And I’m going to be asking for my data from a lot of organizations very soon and I hear they get grumpy about it!!
The places I’m going you probably shouldn’t come 👀
And I may make it extremely inaccessible to return
Oh my fucking God, stop the press, I’ve been called a whore again. 👀
He’s mad at me and now using that disgusting piece of shit ex of mine as a bomb to hurt me *rolls eyes* 🙄
Mark did scam me out of a lot of things, but my real love and heart he never got. He kept my pussy dry literally. Keep reading on to learn more 👀
(I went no contact from Mark – he posted on my blog when he got back with one of his exes, I didn’t go to The Chameleons blog – he came to mine. He’s a narcissist and I’d gone no contact but he was desperate for me to know – he’s desperate for me to love him. I don’t. I can’t stand Mark Burgess. He’s the plague and I want NOTHING to do with him. He never pays taxes, he lives rent free off the women he abuses. He’s a scumbag and writing music doesn’t give you the right to do the monstrous things he has done and continues to do. He’s a menace and needs burned at the stake, along with all the books and music. Erased from history is the only ending he deserves. Of course, he leads everyone to believe that the women are the problem even tho it’s the women running from HIM. And he moves from one relationship to the next. Claims true love every time. He taste like death. 🤮🤮🤮
I did a runner from Mark Burgess because he is the plague and you should stay far the fuck away from him.
I don’t like or love him.
I couldn’t even get sexually off from him
I couldn’t even get wet down there 😑
I don’t like Mark Burgess
I don’t love Mark Burgess
And you don’t get to act like you’re my best friend and then turn around and call me a whore just because I have a political fucking opinion about what’s going on in the world and I actually have a right to say something about what’s going on in the world because I’ve actually served my fucking country you piece of shit
Look at all this charming smooth talk via PM tho. You always wanted me to chat with yah, never did/would tho. Hell, you invited me into your home and offered to pay for my hotel.
But now publicly suddenly I am one of the worst things ever and a whore and I’m selling my body on the cheap
🧐
👇👇👇👇
👀
I never did give him what he wanted though- my time or my friendship and now look at him calling me a whore 👀 from inviting me and paying for my hotel to calling me a fucking whore 👀
He says I think the world owes me everything and I’m selling my body “on the cheap”
👀
But he was just inviting to pay for my fucking hotel room
👀
Now I’m a whore and he’s siding with that piece of shit Mark 👀
I am called a whore / you’d give me your dinner?
For the record, I don’t need anyone paying my hotel bills when I travel, I do that on my own.
I normally stay with my best friend who is a female – I’ve visited her in England twice staying with her 2 weeks on each visit.
I also helped with food and the electric and left her some moneyzzz cuz I’m not a complete bum.
She did not ask me to do this. Flights anywhere are expensive – and I’m happy to stay with my REAL FRIENDS when I visit if they invite me.
I’m not rich nor ever have been.
I was not born with a silver spoon.
I’ve always had to work 3 jobs to make ends meet.
I do not feel bad or guilty for stripping to eat or pay my bills.
You don’t get to invite me into your life and then call me a whore after and not get sandblasted.
He was always denied tho – as you can see – I don’t talk to anyone.
Prime example why
They all want to fuck me for free
Yet I’m called cheap
👀
Yea, I’m the problem clearly
Fuck off now
Run back to Mark Burgess
You’re both twats
Stop acting like you don’t have a porn addiction or that you are all holy and can call me your friend and then a “whore” (but only after you offered to pay for my hotel – I wasn’t a whore when you were offering to pay for my visit)
Never even had the desire to meet you – let alone for you to pay for my hotel.
“Whore” yup m’kay why? Because I do cosplay? Because I take off my clothes now during a pandemic because I’m disabled and need to pay my bills and we are in a RECESSION?
Because I blew through my life savings trying to stay afloat?
Because the jobs I was working paid under minimum wage and I have a college degree but can’t find work in my field due to the recession/furloughs/hiring freezes?
And those minimum wage jobs are taxed like hell and barely support cost of living (COLA) which is why people work multiple jobs to stay afloat?
Because they can’t save one fucking penny to get ahead.
Because nobody wants to actually support me or my dreams because they all want to “be my friend” so they can fuck me?
When I don’t want to fuck anybody –
Because I want to make babies with the love of my life and he recently bought me pizza?
Because I’m not actually a whore and there’s nothing wrong with sex workers.
I don’t actually “sell my body” 🧐
I don’t think anyone can actually “sell their body”. 🤔
If you mean “perform sex acts”, that isn’t anything I’m actually doing.
It’s called burlesque but I’m not very good.
I like to cosplay and roleplay tho cuz being an actor was always my dream, I still audition for parts (even reality TV shows), and I love getting to play dressup cuz I was always a Soldier/tomboy.
I don’t think what I am doing is sinful.
I’m trying to understand who I am as a human and a woman.
Not the part or role that everyone else wants me to play.
What I’m doing now is what I’ve always wanted to do.
Writing, photography, cosplay, guitar, it’s my thang.
The feedback I’ve been getting on my OnlyFans has improved my overall health and mental status / self-esteem.
I would say the feedback I have received has been priceless to my growth as a human and an artist.
There’s a lot of value on my OnlyFans and I’m trying to get better at my cosplay and my photography and I think it shows.
I appreciate your good feedback, your comments, likes, tips, gifts and subscriptions!
I also GREATLY appreciate the support on my Patreon as well!
I don’t need permission as a writer or a blogger to share my life journey with you – I’ve opted to include the ups and downs – I don’t need to write an essay explaining why I chose to be vaccinated – I don’t need to include my education or my credentials for any of this.
I don’t owe you anything.
I’ve paid the costs of living this life and I don’t need your mockery.
Y’all know how I almost got arrested at the VA because I was letting other people know that they could still get sick even vaccinated because I didn’t want them to get sick even though they’re getting vaccinated?
Well, I’ve lost followers over that as well but you can go to the CDC website and get this information for yourself.
They’re not gonna be as direct in saying it but it’s on the CDC website right there with all the variants and the relapses of people who are getting sick even though they are vaccinated (and these people were shocked and couldn’t believe that they actually got sick because they were vaccinated).
Me too. I was starting to have that misconception that I was going to be invincible at 94% effective against it (you know what I mean free donuts every day at Krispy Kreme just showing my vaccination card)….
It’s hip, it’s cool to be vaccinated, the cute little cartoon videos will show you people running around without their mask on – but when you’re in public you still need to have your mask on and you can actually still get sick – but they don’t say that or show that in the cute video do they…
Condoms aren’t 100% effective either and they are already talking about booster shots annually.
I will not be getting anything else shot wise in regards to COVID.
They will – at this point – have to enforce it on me.
They will have to enforce it on me and even then with five people holding me down they’re gonna have a fucking hard time getting that booster shot in me.
FYI.
I’m done with this man-made pandemic bullshit.
Delirious but not fucking delusional.
My mask will be staying on. I will be keeping six feet from you.
Move anywhere inside my bubble and you risk getting yelled at just like that cop did.
He too will obey the fucking rules or arrest me!
And 4 other cops rolled in and nearly did.
Don’t come at me.
1984 is now!
👀
Why are people so afraid to be told that they can still get sick even vaccinated?
*runs around yelling putting the fear into everybody*
*waits to be stoned/arrested/shadowbanned/crucified/burned at the stake/unfollowed/blocked*
Condoms are not 100% effective and neither is your vaccination. 👀
You can still get sick (or others).
So what does this mean?
It means Biden has a 15 year plan laid out for this pandemic and they’re now speaking of booster shots annually.
It means you still need to wear your mask, wash your hands and practice social distancing by keeping 6 feet.
Even vaccinated. 👀
Because we are now living in the New World order.
And since 1984 is now – and many are trying to silence me from reminding you of this blatant fact – I’m gonna put it on a tee.
You can still get sick vaccinated.
They are already talking of booster COVID shots for next year. 👀
(And did anybody notice how they quietly removed the Johnson and Johnson one shot vaccine temporarily because it was causing blood clots but it’s now back in circulation).
I already have heart issues, my BP dropped extremely low getting MODERNA dose 1 (so maybe a slight miracle I wasn’t offered the J&J, and the government likely wanted the MODERNA vaccines for the Soldiers, because it offers a 94% effective rate against COVID (but not the rapidly evolving strains), and let’s face it, a Soldier is a DOLLAR sign. We are only numbers. And many of us have unplugged and have come to learn this fact and they’re dying by suicide which is why the suicide rate continues to increase among veterans and active military). The government are building super soldiers and they spend a lot of money training us, that’s why they don’t want us to fucking die. They only care about stats and numbers! The J&J vaccine offers an 80% effective rate from COVID. MODERNA 94%. And I haven’t studied the other vaccines emerging. But I’m definitely glad I didn’t get the Johnson and Johnson one if it’s causing fucking blood clots and I already have heart issues!
Now I’ve just received my second shot, which I’m told is worse than the first vaccine (but you don’t need to take my word for it, it’s listed on the CDC website).
So here we go.
Dose 2 complete and now they are talking of booster shots for next year. 👀
This pandemic was manmade.
It’s clear to me.
Scientists playing God.
Narcissism ruining the world.
With just 1 move the NWO:
1. Put a lid on the “anti vacciner” by implementing a manmade pandemic encouraging (rather than enforcing) people to get vaccinated.
They do this by giving you incentive like, “fully vaccinated people can get a free donut at Krispy Kreme by showing their vaccination record”
Advertising about how cool it is to be vaccinated and to get vaccinated (even though you can still get sick and you need to wear your mask but they leave this out of the video don’t they).
Giving you the option to be vaccinated makes you feel like you have control over the situation but it’s just gaslighting, it’s just more smallpox on blankets to Indians (and I am part Native American Indian and my bloodline was almost wiped out so my fears are legit).
Eventually it will be enforced.
Through “no entry unless fully vaccinated” mandates. I imagine this will be for all public transportation, schools, hospitals, and government buildings.
2. Population control
The NWO want every animal (including you and me) tagged.
You are given a number at birth.
They call it “security” but I’m told when I’m at age to need it there won’t be any fucking funds.
“Social Security is under threat“, remember?
Was anybody actually paying attention to Obama anytime the words “New World Order” came out of his mouth? Because there’s video everywhere of him talking about it, along with all our world leaders.
It’s not every now and then they mention it, it’s all the time, during live conferences!
It’s not a conspiracy theory!
And just because something is a conspiracy doesn’t mean it’s not true!
Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean I’m not being followed!!!
You can still get sick even vaccinated!!!
Jim Morrison was acutely aware of the illuminati so was Michael Jackson so was Tupac so was John Lennon.
Knock knock
You are a slave, Neo.
I almost got arrested today because some lady didn’t wanna hear that she could still get sick even vaccinated but the other people around me did want to hear it so I almost got arrested for them to hear it.
I also yelled at the cop for getting in my face and not giving me 6 feet and respecting my personal space!
Then more cops rolled in.
1984 is now y’all.
Go ahead and fucking crucify me, you’re not going to silence me!!!
Welp, BIG BRO actually is working towards silencing many of us. Fairly certain Trump isn’t the only one who can be banned from the Internet.
And we can thank Bush with his “Signing Statements” for that because we’ve moved into a Hitler state!!!
I’m aware that this post is very political and many may not be able to keep up with the particular topics that are involved but I am a soldier, this is what I do, this is me, it’s part of who I am and will always be.
The key thing you need to take from all of this is, you can still get sick even vaccinated! Stay woke!
And that one lady was the only bad Apple that didn’t want to hear what I had to say, everybody else was thanking me because I potentially saved their life or someone else’s because they had the same mentality going forward that I did that you were going to be invincible once you were fucking vaccinated – free donuts and it’s cool getting vaccinated, you know!!
It’s hip, it’s cool man. It’s a hippie dippy cool thing to be vaccinated!
But you can still get sick! 👀
And booster shots annually.
Big Pharma got the money back they lost from the anti-vacciners and the weed smokers!
Is there a secret code written Maybe in the stars hidden? That connects you and I?
Are there garbled words which turn a prism? Into harvest worlds that keep us smitten? The way your verbs connect my heart and mind
Are there paths we’ve taken still unwritten? The way my will to you is freely given Under cross or reign, no clearer vision I am hung to you like holy linen
Was it God himself who became a villain? Touching toes in hell, loving all a sinner? I am called a whore, you’d give me your dinner? The lesson here, I think love’s a winner?
I don’t know if I said what I was trying to say or not? It’s a messy morning freestyle. The message became more important than the rhyme.
Jesus loved a sinner best (as I love you) – if I recall correctly, he made some “whore” his equal (but the illuminati removed her from history and I’ve been trying to get ahold of her script so I could read what she had to say) .
“Let’s reinvent gods all the myths of the ages“
Stone me, love me, I’m yours. Free will.
I can handle whatever you give me.
I would die for you.
2 words we should just avoid: hello and goodbye?
Is hello so hard because of all the things I’ve done?
Would you deny me 3 times? In public? My name?
The kiss of betrayal?
Would you sell me out for money?
No, I don’t believe you or I would, but I believe that bitch you were formally with, you know the one with the red hair that I still can’t fucking stand, yeah that one, that one would definitely fucking deny you three times for money…
Even tho she acts like your number 1 stalker, I mean fan.
I still own that title per my confession on TikTok 👀
So whatcha gonna do, crucify me cuz I love you? You already do, DAILY with the ghosting.
*waves white flag*
Surrender/ not your enemy 👣👣👣❤️👣👣👣
(I’m not her enemy either and she needs to learn how to play with others in the playground and stop being a bully. I haven’t been to her blog in a thousand fucking years. I made my apologies publicly and privately and have made my peace with my errors a long time ago.) And nothing I ever did to her justifies her trying to sabotage and take down my business.
Not to mention she was 1000% not following WordPress policy. Was I wrong to leave hateful comments on her blog? Yes. I’m a child, we know this. 👀
Erroneously reporting my content on Instagram and getting it removed out of spite and jealousy, is again, fucking wrong and illegal. Instagram continues to put it back because I am following TOS policy.
She has found a way to manipulate the system because she’s a two-faced bitch.
I know it is her or someone working for her and you’re not gonna convince me otherwise.
Every trail leads to her.
Except your new book, thank fucking god. I have seen the light.
Psycho fucking bitch
Oh sorry, still thinking out loud… 👀
I mean, it’s only been like 48 hours since she tried to take my account down again, so all is fair in the game of love and war???
Would you know that Trent Reznor was never going to get married either and now he’s on like baby number 5 with MariQueen- I mean they have not stopped to take a fucking break.
I need some passion
*dies on street*
Rest easy my love
I’m not happy in my cage of loneliness. But I’m also just fed up with cheap sex, head games, and gaslighting.
I may very well be the last living creature who embodies the true free love spirit.
Ya me
*dies*
I’ve been searching for truth / and I haven’t been getting anywhere 🎵🎶🎵
Just didn’t want my love to be some sort of anchor that sinks your ship…
Mine has a few patched holes and may sink but you’re welcome to hop on board. It’s not a ship. More like some trash floating in the ocean I found to keep from drowning.
If you want some life advice?
You don’t have to live with your choices forever. And you don’t need to make new permanent ones.
You don’t actually have to sink with your ship and it’s okay to save yourself.
People grow and people change and they grow stagnant in their relationships and complacent and that’s why the love dies. You have to work at keeping the love alive and people aren’t really capable of doing that, some people are, some people have mastered it.
Love is a garden you gotta continue to water.
Stuff doesn’t make you happy.
Love is all you need?
I would really like a chance to find out. 😏
I’ve literally never been loved. By anyone. Or anything.
But hey, I recognize you. Or sorrow.
If I’m just some fling thrill ride, you don’t gotta cut my fins when you are done do you?
Can you be the one guy on Earth who doesn’t hurt me? And on purpose? Because you’re bored? Or soulless and evil?
I’m trying to find a safe place.
If you’re hurting, I’m sorry. I hope you find resolution. And peace.
You deserve happiness. Love. Fireworks. All the things.
PoeEternal 