LMAO it’s such a convincing photo I actually have people on TikTok who think I am stalking him?
LOL yes? But I’m not the reason he is hiding? It was lunch hour and the frontside was busy. I accidentally went the wrong way and then accidentally bumped into the Teslar again and now am an accidental stalker? I just thought it made for a good story? Plus, I smiled the cutest smile and waved with my eyes closed when passing (though no one was inside – I’m sure it was recorded?)
If there is a snapshot of me, he may be scared or in-love?
“How did I meet your mother? Well she was stalking my car…”
“Instead of getting a restraining order, I got her a meal”
“Didn’t have to worry about her keying my car at least”
There you are…
Does God want us to meet?
He’s gonna have to sell his damn car because of me…
And got in trouble trying to share a prescribed medicine!?!?
Go on then, penalize me…
I got more than ghosts under my bed…
Not covered by my insurance
But I ain’t scratching on bullets yet
If you are confused, I started a new treatment plan that my Primary doc put me on – it’s new – she has been to training on it – i didn’t have to go to the animal feed – and she said ID would prob not be on board (infectious disease like on ET) – only ID stated “you’re not suppose to take it that long” and I replied “I’m not ready to lose you or my medicine” but she refilled it and said she’d see me again in 2-3 months
It’s informed consent and my family don’t give a fuk and prob wish I’d hurry up and die – so i am taking my time – plus you’re my ride or die?
I blog. I’m a blogger. The spacebar NEVER works. The ai is DUMB. I want a polaroid. And now Gen Y leave their tech at the door… cuz I said I wanted a tech-free zone *rolls eyes* and now they have made a way to turn that idea viral
i hate u
sometimes
More times than not
Always stealing my ideas and making them better
Fucking snobs
Got some low dose something or another instructed to take at bedtime
It ain’t bedtime yet
Doc said it cures cancer
And the FEDS knocked down the door of the guy who made it and stated it? And she can’t get anyone in the VA to listen
I said “go on…
ID said i ain’t suppose to take it that long
But I mean it’s this or Mt Everest
Which means Utah cave crawling and I made them turn the light on for my MRI….
Prob Mt Everest
Ahh too late tho they changed the rules
Can’t go there to die (officially)
I ain’t going to Switzerland and getting in no death pod
It’s very rare to find a woke doc inside the VA but i’ve done did
And this is HUGE
the fact that it is in my records officially as a vaccine injury – despite the informed consent and non-traditional forms of treatment
And my new doctor has forbidden me to eat any meat or dairy (this should please the vegan?)
CARRAGEENAN FREE
I’m not allowed – furthermore – she removed me from my protein shake regime that the nutritionist had put me on – it has carriage in it or something (I’m not correcting the AI)
(More info I was given about my vaccine injury)
She was waving a book around, “i can’t get the VA on board, it’s not FDA approved, but you won’t need to go to the feed store”
And of course, I’ll have to pay out of pocket for the treatments
I won’t repeat everything said but it makes us sound super paranoid – but she unplugged from the Matrix
I specifically asked do I need to give up my medicinal and she said no
New treatment plan
She stated the international markets are okay to shop at, she specifically mentioned “black rice”
And now I’m wondering if I’ve ever even had black rice?
But you know, Walmart tried to kill me while I was paying for a membership
And it’s not hearsay because they sent me two emails telling me I was potentially exposed to E. coli and heavy metals
But to finally get someone inside, the VA to ACKNOWLEDGE and treat me for vaccine injury is huge, she also mentioned cancer
She doesn’t want it turning into cancer
I’m still losing weight but my labs look good, my kidneys, my liver
I’m on 10% energy – vaccine injury
(it is a side effect) (i’m not lazy)
I gotta give up the meat and the cheese, but I can keep the weed (legally)
no processed foods and I gotta go back in a few months. I didn’t see any mention of coffee on the list so we’re gonna have to have that discussion soon because I need to know, can I have coffee still?
Important stuffs
Anyway, I’m not in remission yet but my doctor has hooked me up with a connect that’s gonna get me ivermectin and I don’t gotta go to the feed store.
There’s also the long list from Amazon that I need to shop
Once I get my hands on the goods, and we’re looking roughly $300+ to start, and that’s not counting the grocery shopping for “the good food items”
Bananas are best when they’ve gone bad (you know when they’re mushy) that’s when they’re highest in whatever it was she said that was in there that I need (fiber?)
And I’m absolutely not allowed to do any more amoxicillin, she says that destroys my gut health
Cuz I broke out in a rash from the 2000mg that the dentist gave me
And had a two day migraine
She said cereal is bad
I’m not allowed cereal
I gotta get my diet under control if I don’t wanna die
(In summary: i don’t wanna die)
Oh you stayed?
From right now – no filter (but I swear they apply some sort of ugly filter when you don’t use a filter at all to try to force you to use a filter instead, but then I look in the mirror and I think it’s worse)
Ack
I’m going to a salon soon and I’m gonna see if they can remove some of these sunspots from my face and wrinkles (how much does Botox cost? Should I get a breast implant? Should I just pay off my ride?)
Byeee for now (and I really really really wanna catch up on y’all’s blogs. I really do. I really wanna go for a walk around the neighborhood. There’s so much I would like to be able to do and I just can’t?)
And I’m not autistic so you can let him know I’m not autistic but I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 16
“keep your eye on the toys Annie, you know about toys”
so im out here buying guns and toys
and that cute crop top under $19
and i no longer watch tv – might as well wear clothing of band tees i care not about
like i lost my identity with music or stuff
you should be impressed im a total fucking mess
wrapped up in agony
wear heart on sleeve
but thesleeve is cute no?
should i start watching sailor moon cartoons?
or am i allowed to just enjoy the art?
and the cuddles with the like the pusheen plushy?
the movie is a map
it imprinted on me
and i am Annie crying on a busy street
“keep your eye on the toys” – so that’s what im gonna do
i take my advice from old Hollywood films now
and music from the 90s is still a calling card
a good way to reach me
i rarely turn on the radio but now when i do sometimes my sister is sending me messages
or it could be guilt eating me alive cuz she died?
and my mother had made it very clear and apparent that she is mad i did not go visit her in the hospital
– even tho i was dying from the vaccine
i was having major problems with my heart even tho they waited until i was having minor problems with my heart to puta wire on but even then they found problems with my heart – and any minor problem is major when you are only in your 40s and now dying and your sister is too?
but i got a boomer mom
and a half sister still alive who was triple vaccinated and boosted but still got covid but “is fine” (she is Gen Y) (i cant wake my family up and some of them have died)
so im working with infectious disease now
(mold will fucking destroy your life)
(it’s not dust)
(cleanitsoitdoesntturnevil)
(my shit has defo been hacked)
anyhoo – at least japan la sell officially licensed products
got some stationary to never write in and give away in 20 years cuz i horde?
but i like bootlegs too
and thats my box of prob unofficially licensed shit coming
2024 i leave everyone on read (the insomnia coach says i need to see a provider) (and there is an upcoming appointment cuz God needs me to see him again!?!) (is it him!?!) (what sort of Romeo/Joolie delusional fantasy have i found myself in exactly)
no one is – nor has – nor potentially ever – will do anything inappropriate (hence la la land)
but you know if looks could kill
looks can also have a “slow the atoms down in the room and shoot to heaven” vibe too
i mean, i don’t know how to read a room (or computer screen)
but he imprinted on me and apparently i have lost many months and/or years dreaming about him
would’ve been nice if we could’ve met on a conference call, or in any other way than me over here on the other side
nearly wearing a fucking straightjacket
welp
help. still in hell. *sadface*
i’m not in / this isn’t happening
SAME
p.s. i have been trying to write a letter to myself of “what I would say to myself if I could call myself and speak to myself for one minute”
like your future self could call your past self from a decade ago (that is ten years right)
i tried to put it in a poem
it isn’t going very well
don’t hang up it’s me i’m dying find a tree and hang freely
they also have issues with “likes” not working on WordPress
so it’s not just in my head
and I tried to find the updated post about “how to post” on WP through JetPack and whatnot – but Google just isn’t the same
i just remember reading something about TAGS but maybe i’m wrong about what i read
i just know we all were using X amount and the post said X amount had been reduced to a lesser amount or else the algorithm will ignore you
kinda like that issue with that robot on mars that has too many tasks that it is overwhelmed and keeps re-prioritizing tasks that need to be done – but nothing ever gets done
they came up with a term for it
and that’s the state of me, my life, and my blog
and the fact that i leave “likes” multiple times on multiple days like a psychopath having a meltdown (this time it’s the AI and not me, swear) but you wouldn’t know? or maybe you do?
so now im leaving comments here and there going “it wont let me like anything”
“im here still” 🥹
and the ai knows i hate leaving my ip so now im being forced to give my age sex location just to breathe anywhere in society
i degress…
priority inversion problem
i swear i aint trying to cause any troubles
im just lost in hell having priority inversion malfunctions
“i know this needs done but we gotta do this first but can’t because we need to do this other thing instead”
*keeps chasing own tail*
“i keep doing but there ain’t anything done”
i think they changed the usage rules on hashtags on tiktok too – but *spins in circles*
Meanwhile, I’m going “I threw up twice”, “I had to stop taking the other pill”, “I couldn’t breathe”, “need morphine”
The morphine request was denied 🙄
But only cuz she doesn’t prescribe narcotics
I’d have to go see my primary care manager – who literally misdiagnosed and mistreats me – and the only reason I’m as bad as I am now, is I couldn’t get the treatment I needed when I went to them, “I’ve been exposed”
Them: “your labs are fine”
I started my period and though I’m 45 and in agonizing pain, bleeding on everything, I’m actually grateful I’m still ovulating.
But getting any pain medication from the VA is like asking a ghost to follow me
I’ve lost my mind so the latter is a bit easier to do
I wish I could enter the VA and state that I’m 45 still bleeding from my legs – but they’d probably complain “we don’t talk like that” – “that’s considered rude”
Because we’re suppose to enter medical establishments smiling and tap dancing and bowing for them like they’re Gods
They love to gaslight
And medical malpractice is common
Go to the library and pick up a book
One that isn’t glorifying hookers and prostitutes
Cuz those can be found on the hot shelf in the front where little children can read
You’re gonna burn hell
For all eternity
P.S. I don’t know any vet alive dying that isn’t begging for some goTdamn morphine
Stop hoarding all the junk
GIVEMAH
Haz pain 😑
P.S.S. I requested it in the form of cough syrup since the hospital gave me some and it soothed my coughing and anxiety several hours thus helping the heart
But dying and being in pain isn’t a good enough cause for some cough syrup with morphine
So how do I get me some of the “good cough syrup”!?! Asking for a friend…..
I worked hard to put on weight and now I’ve done did
When you’re trying to TikTok shop but the plagues notice that the audience is the same size as the host and then follow you 👀
The Host: “I’m not sure what you’re implying but if you don’t stop, I will have to mute or block you….”
Him: “she is the same size as you”
Him: randomly tags me without a message
Him: “I like your fit”
Anyhoo. I guess the romper/shrug was a hit.
I gained 1 more follower (that isn’t why I shopped for a romper tho, it’s a separate goal)
I’m waiting on the bodysuits & accessories to arrive.
Yesterday it was hot in Florida and today I need a coat.
Yesterday I would have passed out in anything but slides, shorts, and a tank.
Today I need Arctic gear 🥶
If the doctor told me, I was menopausal, I would punch him, call him a liar, and tell him to pay my electric bill.
Fortunately for me, even in my age, those words never sound.
And my body isn’t behaving in such a way, EARTH is
Stop deflecting ✋🛑✋
Oh this has happened lots over the last month or two, so thanks
This was last night…
And my hashtag over on TikTok has reached 23K
If I could stop dying long enough and figure out, how do use social media, I might could put out some better content
Not even better just effort
Like here, here’s a poem I wrote 5 years ago
How hard is it to do a soft reading and hit record?
Is it worth 200 views?
I’m totally satisfied at 1000 views. I feel it’s worth effort.
But with nearly 5k followers, it’s hard to make sense.
I’d probably be happy with 500-700 views consistently
I’d hate it even worse at zero
But yeah, I did buy some yoga sets and things to keep warm for the winter
The price was good 👍
I’m getting good feedback
There was only ONE BOY who got mad at me spending my own money on things I actually need
🤡
I gotta take my dog out again before he makes me start WW4
It can’t be that hard taking care of a hellhound but once again I found myself sobbing in front of a mirror like God was behind the other end begging “please I can’t do this… take him to heaven with you”
And then the other version of me saying “get ahold of yourself”
And I took bath number two cuz he ruined the first one and has driven me to full insanity
The heart needs the hot magnesium salt baths…
If the ego can’t get a fucking grip, we backtrack and start again
Insanity!
It’s like when you feel yourself starting to fall slowly but you can’t stop the grip
And next thing you know the wind has been knocked out of you
And the only words that surface as you lay there contemplating existence is “goT damm it” or “fuck”
These demons trying to ban curse words 🤡
Thank you so much for all the awesome feedback on my little jumper set! I think I paid six or 7 bucks for the jumper, about the same for the sweater (which I can mix n match)
He asked, “why do you wanna buy something you won’t wear”
And like…
Blazer + yoga set is definitely my style
Sorry not sorry 🤔
But the Lord answered my prayers
I can wear my blazers and loungewear together
THIS IS LIFE 🤩
(Don’t tell him about the makeup and hair products I’ve ordered)
(I’m literally dying but it’s a transformation)
I’m transforming
At least I know what sex I am 👀
I’m also shopping for guns as there’s a no license to carry law in Florida now
Trigger happy 🤩
Because I’m a Soldier
And we at war…
NEED GUNS
Shhhhhhhh
Cute but fierce?
My bag will contain more than makeup or maybe it will be a decoy 🤔
Anyhoo
My sister died
And now I’m making Chinese TikTok hosts into my sister
Sometimes I tune in just to hear them say “Ill try it on for you” but I’m one of their best customers and they help me sleep
I find shopping with them soothing
Retail therapy 🤩
But c’mon, I love this phase I’m moving into
I didn’t know I could wear my blazers with my yoga sets
But I can 🤩
Cuz he’s probably right a tiny bit
And I’ve talked to God
And prayed about what to do
And I knew I could part was some of the clothing and donate it or thrift it, but I was having a hard time wanting to part with any of my Blazers, even though I wasn’t sure where I could wear them
And since I’m still not washing my face per official guidelines, I’m dry as fuck
My bathwater smells like chlorine
My nails aren’t painted, I need a haircut
Tiny babe “you ain’t got any either” 😐
I’m not ready for a husband yet but am working hard with self and God to get things right
And the Devil wanna take away my smile
But the neighbors are being somewhat nicer to me now that I’m dressing in clothes that mostly fit (extra small is big and I’m not quite xxs and trying to actually put on weight) but was wearing medium and large while extra small
(I’m fighting a cancer inside me but my labs are fine)
MY LABS ARE FINE
Healthcare equals medical malpractice but we sign forms so they can hurt you with malicious intent and purpose
I’m looking to upgrade my very old but loved rebounder
Only because it squeaks and someone on TikTok complained
So I stopped sharing
And am secretly rooting for a ban hoping for a revolution
My TV is sold
No more PS4
My devices are outdated after 2 1/2 years
iPhone 12 would only be good another 2 to 3 years
News has come out that 12 and 13 may be obsolete with the new 15
I’m not paying them prices
I don’t eat with my phone
Or shit
The voicemail is probably full with malicious intent and purpose
I can post from the library but they would steal my login and data
Probably give them access to my browsing history from the last ten years
It is off
The Devil tried to murder me
I’m still here
I got some sort of superpower and you don’t know what that does to a person
There are two ways I could go
But you know me, always taking the off path
Sometimes we find things more valuable than gold, sometimes we find John Jones
He ain’t resting in peace
“I want out”
Final wish
So these Boomers sealed him in
His wife worried he was sealed in alive
“There are things that happened down there that will never be disclosed”
But I’ll let you know how it goes – Amazon is full of snake oil – same with products at Walmart or Walgreens or Dollar General – bunch of added junk that causes cancer
So – found a holistic center in the UK – they have other supplements that may be better suited for your health or dietary needs
I started with a pot of spring water in a glass pot
Filled it with lots of wild rice (red, purple, black, brown, white) and green split peas
I dropped in a couple of my cinnamon spice sticks (secret ingredient for any stew) – along with many other spices and herbs
An entire onion (farm fresh), rosemary, thyme, salt with the necessary nutrients, pepper, a touch of the good olive oil
I also added yellow split pea, and lentil to accompany the green
Potatoes and tomatoes 🙂
And I started a 3rd mystery plant – provided by my local library. These are edibles I’m growing – and hope to add them to my special soups! I’ve never grown anything indoors before – or in a windowsill
But I have a lot of unused space in my apartment – as well as sunlight – a desire to learn – and a hungry belly for real food (not poisoned)
So now I got the “3 libras” growing in my dirty window
Homemade vegan soup (from scratch) with warm bread
The soup turned out amazing, I also added green bean and a small tin of tomato sauce for color, and will be keeping the tin to sprout some new seeds.
I added homemade pepper sauce to kick up the heat (summer sweats)
One day maybe I’ll have a husband that chases after my food instead of a prostitute
But for now I’m eating the entire pot of gold
“You said not to spend it honey, you did not say not to melt it and turn it into flakes”
(Please don’t hurt me like Bob)
Heart symbol
P.S. the vegan vegetable chunky soup took hours to simmer! Might make a fresh pot of cornbread for the leftovers tomorrow! Might can squeeze a third day/meal if I’m lucky! It’s very hearty and fulfilling! I was out of carrot! Make you a stew! Don’t wait until winter!
Cooking and fitness is part of my purpose. It may be “boring” but it’s healing my heart and giving me more time.
I dunno how I feel about “going live” again – but I probably will start sharing my fitness journey over on Instagram – and if I’m not too shy – will do some casual lives on the TikTok as well
I’m only looking to connect and be “social”, I’m not chasing the algorithm dragon for likes or paying META $15 monthly to be “verified”. Like, I would have paid that ONE TIME – but I’m not spending money to be seen.
I just want to be
I’m getting my fitness room in order and both mystery plants now have green growing (they’re in the window being bashed around by the blinds – wakey wakey)
Yoga & stretching set
Mystery plant 1
Mystery plant 2
Please note that I’m going through some sort of phase where I want to be natural – no makeup, no filters, no fancy dress, no fuss.
I am trying to fix my health, my finances, my diet, my mood, my self-esteem, and last thing I need to worry about is putting on makeup to go live or post when I’m cooking or working out.
It’s just not me.
I don’t want to have to worry about posting 4 times a day (or daily) either
And, I want to answer my inbox when I’m ready and am devoting days to be “social” so that my mood isn’t down and depressed
Furthermore, 95% of my furniture and household is gone.
I’m starting over but also want to be able to jump ship – when God allows
Right now, the enemy has us in a stronghold
Barricaded behind policy
I don’t have the latest XYZ to garner your attention
But I will share fitness tips and how I’m surviving the apocalypse
And thank you to those who have taken interest in seeing me go live again, whether to share the weather or my latest complaint
I took a long detox from social media and have been trying to find myself
I mean, I know I’m lost in purgatory/hell and am paying for my sins in this timeline
And wasted pretty much all of my life
I’m learning to be still
To stretch
Breathe
Exist in harmony with nature
I guess I took the winter hibernating
I’m trying not to climb in my coffin or a hole I can’t climb out of
I thought, how dumb was I to lose half my retirement – but then all of GEN X did –
It did help my depression to a degree (make it worse)
But it wasn’t because I was stupid
We were gutted essentially
Anyhoo, I’m a little seedling
And 4/19 is the last day my medicinal card is any good – and I blocked the doctor both via text and email
Now they’re putting less product in and calling it “head space” (and charging more)
They treat the medical shops like they are recreational
Anyway, I’m trying to get clean
It’s like the devil is coming at me
I don’t have fancy things, but what remains is what I like
I would like to follow you back – and interact – as and when I’m capable
I’m more like a turtle on social media – instead of that blazing fast coyote always getting into trouble
I mourned my social media accounts because I thought I had deleted, deleted them.
I did not.
They are there, for now.
I am #poeeternal on both accounts. My TikTok hashtag has over 20k views alone.
So – were you aware – that universities are on WordPress and require students to use WordPress to post and respond to other students post – and receive GRADED reports
Cuz that wasn’t in the Privacy policy or any of the FAQ or payment policies
I’m not just paying to reach my tribe – they are flooding the network however they can – so we can chase our tails – meanwhile the younger generations get fed with a platinum spoon – this society
We’re paying in the upwards of $300 -$600 to maintain our blogs/ websites every three years – to reach students and faculty! (Or around $150 annually)
I went in to make changes to my Amazon Wishlist and they have new features – already selected for you – about disclosing your address to the buyer
“The seller may disclose your address to the buyer”
Wait. What. 👀
I have a brain injury and maybe I’m misinterpreting what that says!?!
I’ve since unchecked the box – and I’ve no one spoiling me – but I very much intend to spoil me – as these are items I want/need.
That’s a dangerous new feature Amazon has added
I wasn’t even aware until I was acting emo and making privacy changes
Anyhoo…
If you have children using it or anyone under the age of 18 and they have an Amazon wishlist account and people spoiling them, then they may be getting access to your home address now.
I care about the unsuspecting adults too (like self) and people with mental illness who may try and obtain an address for harm
I don’t understand how it’s legal for a business to do something like this, it’s fucking dangerous
They are using grams as weight now cuz America belongs to the immigrants and their children born here naturalized
The immigrants get to vote before our children legally turn 18 to do so
LMAO
I wish I had known all this before I started College is a scam.
Quietly LOUDLY quitting society
Information is knowledge so please let folks know that their lives are in danger now – unless they want complete strangers with their shipping address!?!?
I don’t like giving out my phone number or email and now we’re just giving folks our home address huh.
Why not just give the buyer your address and fuck Amazon all together?
Why use a third party at all? Which was the entire fucking point I thought.
Amazon is dead
There’s hardly a place worth shopping
I like thrift stores and antique furniture shops
I will find the most ugly shop in Florida you can find.
Side-note: If you “don’t want your children to see this” stop letting them loose at Walmart and the Mall. 💀
Psst…
Halloween spider mesh bodysuit by Dolls Kill 💀
Witches Spider Cap by ROMWE on Shein 😈
Both sold out but may restock 🎃
One of my favorite new cosplay sets. I feel more myself in this attire and without loads of makeup making it theatrical and whatnot
I’m the real thang 🎃
You can’t burn me legally at the stake anymore 👻
So just wanted to see what it would feel like to do a midnight Halloween set without all the makeup and flare
I was wearing vegan flavored strawberry kissy lips and that made for an extra sweet midnight smile set (I can hook you up with a free glam bag on Ipsy) (most products are vegan) (cancellation is easy but I’m staying on for awhile) (I got a free Halloween glam kit for sign-up and love it) (you can adjust the frequency of delivery as well) 🎃
Halloween is my favorite season perhaps 🤔
Do you like my new set?
How is my petite pumpkin looking? 👀
“I don’t like your ass when you bend over, it disappears” (something someone said to me in my 20s directly after sex)
Yeah, just like any empathy I ever had for you.
Everyone has had such high standards of how my body should look 24/7 because apparently I’m supposed to be posing 24/7 that I’m afraid to even show my fucking skin because I’ll probably get yelled at for being fucking white anyway
Always told I need to “cover up” cuz they like it too much to “just be friends”
Heaven is empty and I cry a lot lol
I also talk to the dead
I have a budding relationship with John Jones
I also keep having images of him (not John) finding me hanging from a tree
The way he breaks and the strength it takes for him to not look away
To get me down…
I don’t know what’s real anymore
I’m focusing on my blog and OnlyFans for now
I’m sorry I’m not posting more yet on my free one – which I can go live on but I can’t go live on my subscribed one 😑
The way the wheels turn 💀
But I’ve started posting playful sensual videos on my OF
And as long as someone wants to support my content I’ll keep going
WordPress just emailed me telling me that I owe them $100 to keep the blog going but web links are broken and everything is chaotic inside the algorithm since they split it into
I need new web hosting and all sorts of cleanup in my life
My blog continues to remain advertising free
All my content is original
Trends make me feel obsolete and always behind
There’s always someone who can come along and do it better, I’m only ever average at anything even when I give it my all
Self-portrait October 2022 (the timeline is wrong)
I posted stuff on TikTok and Insta before I went down
That dude was not drunk
He was walking a straight line in hurricane winds
Now meybeeee he had a drink
But he was not staggering and had full control
I was worried I was gonna get booted off of my live for dangerous activities so I was letting people know that I was not part of that group but looking back on it he had so much courage, will, and strength
He was exercising and taking dips in Hurricane Ian
The way that bird hovered near him
It was like watching a real life gladiator undergoing some sort of spiritual thang
THIS COULD BE NORMAL ACTIVITY FOR HIM
Meanwhile, I was standing with my legs shoulder length apart holding the damn camera arm with both hands with all my might being blown left and right!!!
My lower back was hurting from being beat by the wind!!!
There were two others in his group that were undressing to go in that chose not to
I was live on TikTok so it took me by surprise – didn’t want dude to drown
That motherfucker is the son of Poseidon or some shit – like he is in god mode or something exercising his demons or gaining full control of them
I get chills watching back on it lol
I’m afraid for the water to touch me and this dude was baptizing in the storm
LOL
Not just any storm either…
Apparently one of the worst hurricanes to hit Florida in 100 years
My power has been down an hour or so
I definitely was not prepared but I have several hours maybe days worth of candle light that I can use and I’ll probably mostly use it at night time for 2 to 3 hours only
I’m not wasting time, energy, gas, running around for scraps
TIME TO RATION SUPPLIES – SOMETHING THESE GREEDY NARCISSIST KNOW NOTHING ABOUT
The town is under curfew
Most businesses are closed or are closing early (I was gonna cheat and get fast food after finding zero water but the universe said NOPE don’t want you eating that crap)
The lights were on and they were open and workers were inside on the clock getting paid to do nothing – quiet quitting every chance they get on our dime
THE LAZY GENERATION
WANTS TIPS BEFORE SERVICE AND ZERO QUALITY SERVICE AT THAT
DELUSIONAL
I’ll post some videos on TikTok if I’m allowed and while I still have power
It might not get that bad but I have lived through two hurricanes where I live and power was out for a week
No fucking water anywhere
NONE
I’m gonna look on Walmart delivery or pickup if they have it…
I’M EXPECTING THEM TO NOT OR TO HAVE JACKED UP THEIR PRICES FOR BASIC LIVING NECESSITIES WHICH SHOULD BE ILLEGAL
Haven’t had any Evec orders but we are under curfew
I still have 4 gallons of water so hopefully I’m okay
I need out of the city tho
It’s not safe here
In any capacity
I went live for a few minutes, got entirely soaked walking around the ocean, I’ll get the videos posted since none of the locations had drinking water
Had some pissy people on the live apparently. Acting as if hurricane ocean is safe. 🤡
I ain’t dying for views. But I am a blogger and I do share my environment.
Things are taking forever to upload too 🤪
My fridge is empty and so are the stores which are closing early
The power can go out and my electric bill probably still gonna be through the roof
I don’t want modern luxury if it takes three jobs to pay your electric and your rent
Jesus completely submitted to his queen and gave over his ministry to her, FYI
SMART KING 👑
Anyhoo, just some comments that came on my blog today about how I should manner myself
My art is unbecoming
(Still holding top 51 tho thank you)
I MIGHT CAN GET GROCERIES NEXT WEEK TO MAKE MORE HEALING VEGAN SOUP AND GOD APPROVES
He thanks you because most men want to look but not share their fucking bread!!!!!
It’s written in the Bible!!!!!!
“Nice peach”. No, I ain’t got nothing for you to eat. Word of advice tho….”
I’VE GONE INSANE WITH HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF
GOD IS HELPING ME GET MYSELF AND MY KING TOGETHER SO WE CAN UNITE
THERE ARE FORCES AT WORK OUTSIDE OF AI OR THE ALGORITHM OR THE EVIL ELITES
COSMIC THANGS
MY KING AND I ARE UNDERGOING AWAKENING AND CLEANSING BEFORE WE UNITE
IMPATIENT IS OUR MIGHT
I WANT MY KING TO ENCOURAGE ME TO WEAR A THONG ON THE BEACH
I AM SICK OF BEING A NUN COVERED UP IN JAB
FUCK THE PATRIARCH!!!!!!!!
God loves my improv cooking!!!
God doesn’t want me starving or dying on the street!
God wants to see me more self-reliant and less having to rely on food banks for canned food
I do tasteful nude modeling and cosplay photography and art to accompany my poetry and it often correlates with the things that I am discussing in my poetry or what I’m even complaining about in the real world
I do full 36 page spreads (as they were once called) and now upload them somewhere I can earn some money – if I have anyone of interest and currently I’m grateful I do
Hmmmm starve or do photography that I enjoy that earns me a shopping trip to the health food shop for vegetables and stew
Hmmm starve or do something I’m passionate about 🧐
Die on the street like Edgar Allan Poe or try to overcome the odds 🤨
Most of them will say I wish I could buy you the moon while locking you on the bottom of the Titanic
I’d like to get to a point where I don’t have to fear losing my income or my housing
I’m already living under my means but yeah starve or stop displaying myself
Hmm I mean it’s a tough one cuz I apparently like to eat 🙄
But I have absolutely had this conversation with God 1 million times and I am not doing anything to disrespect myself or my future husband or anyone who is supporting my content
That’s the real problem and why I don’t have more supporters because I’m not an online nasty girlfriend
I’m not saying all men or bad or this fits all shoes
But I’ve maintained my purity and I’m only getting married once
I like producing content for my blog
Some of my stuff is very controversial and taboo 🤪
I think I’m autistic a bit because I always say what I think and I curse and I can be unempathetic during critical times as a survival mechanism and I always give too much info
I haven’t learned safe boundaries or acting on these sorts of online triggers
I don’t hate people for having incorrect opinions or viewpoints on me
These viewpoints are why I’m so isolated in the real world
Nudity wasn’t seen as a crime in Europe and nudity was in the commercials there
Now Walmart and the mall is openly selling sex toys – XXX sex toys in front of children
It traumatized me so much I don’t want to shop at Walmart or return to the mall
I don’t even own a sex toy and I’m not doing anything with my art that is shameful
I’m not into anything artificial and have been preserving myself for my king
Most people shame me for showing my body because it’s not full of plastic surgery or for not being thick
PRETTY BIAS ALSO EXISTS
You can tell by a lot of the comments these types of commenters leave me that they think I just stand in front of a fucking camera and have a photo taken and there is so much work involved in modeling and photography and directing and editing
“They got it so easy”
STOP GASLIGHTING ✋🛑✋
Since 1970, 68% of all life has gone extinct
HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING FARM AND FAMILY LIFE AND 3 MEALS A DAY
NARCISSISM IS A PLAGUE
I’m now too small for a small 😫
Gotta start shopping extra small for the peach 😤
PLEASE VALIDATE ME BEFORE I DISAPPEAR INTO NON EXISTENCE
Thank you to everyone who is in my life because they want to be and not due to obligation!
Did a detox instead of alcohol!
Look what I got for XMAS! A ring light! 🤩
New ring light for the studio!
I have absolutely no idea how you use it or really how to use yeti (my new unopened microphone) but I’m super excited to add these tools to my writing toolbox! 🤓
My website just hit over 1000 followers, and that means a great deal to me, so I’ve upgraded my WordPress plan and now I have new tools at my disposal. I have a lot of reading material, studying, and set up before I can get going!
It’s nice to finally have a laptop and a USB microphone!
Writing and your visits are keeping me alive!
I hope you are having a nice holiday wherever you’re at!
I’m keeping positive and staying focused and slowly getting a little bit done every day and I’m gonna be getting back to rebounding soon!
I’ve been getting back more active and I’m still having chest pains so I’m not trying to kill myself and I’m taking baby steps back into working out and cardio and jumping around
But I definitely wanna focus on making TikTok videos, I appreciate the views that I do get!
I have ideas in mind but often lack courage to execute.
The videos I do release there of my spoken word scares me lol
I have stage fright and people are mean to me 👀
But the last one I put out received over 1.1k plays! 🤓
I reckon I’m gonna have to bite the WordPress hook and upgrade my personal plan to the premium plan since I’ve used up all my 6GB of storage space 🙄 and just pretend the universe is pushing me to upgrade my plan so I can have more media space to upload photos but also unpack yeti from its box to do soft poetry readings and spoken word
To be fair, I have been dying
But I will also at some point maybe be producing some subscriber only content on my blog/website instead of over on OnlyFans (I don’t do porn or self-gratification, I’m an artist and do nude photography – many say softcore is obsolete, but I’ll be offering it here on my website instead- and if someone could please teach me how to set up subscriptions on WP instead of me having to go figure it out through WordPress that would be great)
I’m already on a plan that allows subscriptions and donations, I’ve just used up all my media space and either need to delete stuff off my website or upgrade and at this point it’s time to upgrade because I’m growing aren’t I? I have over 1000 followers now and nearly 100,000 views!! 👀
So when I’m not dying and can put my head into the WordPress books I will figure out how to do the subscriber only content (this won’t be for every post, just my random spicer content)!
Not everyone wants to see my exclusive Rated R nude content but I’m tired of giving other platforms my visitors – especially when most platforms I have zero voice as an artist
I don’t want to push people to another platform when they come to visit my website
I want you to stay here in heaven with me 😇
GIVE ME ALL YOUR ATTENTION 🤩
I was at urgent care yesterday again so I don’t know how quickly I’ll be able to get stuff going but just know stuff is in the pipeline and I would like to get some more nude content out to you, it will be through my own website though, you won’t have to leave or sign-up anywhere else
I’m indecisive on what I’m doing with my Patreon account but I’ve been very grateful for your support over the years!
Because of it, my website has and remains advertisement free (zero spam)!
If you sign up for my blog posts via email, advertising will never be in your email either! Zero spam!
I may be the last place on earth that’s free of advertising 🤔
But you won’t have to worry about accidentally hitting an advertisement when scrolling or installing spyware or a virus
You can scroll freely without a condom ahem 🤪
I’m dealing with heart and lung issues since I got the vaccine – I’m still a weirdo tho and I miss doing the cosplay for you to accompany the rants, poetry and prose!
I will definitely upgrade my plan soon so I can at least start attaching photographs again to my rants and poetry
It may be the new year before I start any subscription only content!
I may do it via donation instead of subscription (like where you can pay a small fee to unlock the post)…
Stay tuned
Dying but not dead…
PSST… I have a free OnlyFans and will be active there when I’m feeling better – thank you for subscribing! My inbox is open there to say hello! I’ll let everyone know when I’m back and active! I’ll be going live over there to show you the beach and things! Softcore 🤪
I guess you have to live an entire year before you’re considered that age (so does this technically mean I’m still 42 and when I’m 44 I’ll actually be 43, my age now)? 🤪
And you have to have a plus 1 to get the 1K badge from WordPress
It has arrived! 👇👇👇
Thank you so much for the follows! 👁👄👁
I love you! 💕
PSST I swear I am going to set up a blogging schedule soon, I have been gravely ill, and in the bed!
I get out every now and again for medicine, toilet paper and food
And on the occasion I stop by the beach so I can get a few frights
It’s just not normal the things going on in the world and around these parts
And I feel so bad for the people who visit the beach and try to enjoy it when I’m there because I’m hooting and hollering every few seconds and then they immediately leave, probably out of fear (lmao I’m gonna pee myself because my fear is contagious to others)
I swear when we’re on a flight and the plane starts doing shit it’s not supposed to do, when you hear me gasping, everybody on the plane is staring at me the entire time and my eyes get really big and both of my hands are clutching onto the armrest and the entire plane ahead and behind will be staring at me, but I can’t stop being scared y’all
This world frightens me and you can see it on my face
My fears don’t lie
And I’m a little girl that never grew up so anytime there’s a bug or I’m scared of something I sound like I’m being murdered lmao
I didn’t even share all the screams I had the other day when I stopped by the ocean briefly but it was even scarier than before
The clouds were hanging really low and were many different shades of gray and everything just looked doom to me and there was no lifeguard on duty and it was only 11:30 AM, it was about to be high noon and it’s uncommon because the ocean is warm but there’s no sealife anywhere, yet the ocean is still reaching the sea wall, and it’s all wet. And standing in it, surrounded by all ocean, scares the crap out of me, especially with the tide being a triple king tide that won’t leave 👀
The ocean ate the beach
The worlds most famous beach
And maybe one day we will get our beach back but I’m looking at reports that state Daytona Beach is undergoing extreme flooding over the next 30 years and buildings are falling down in Miami so you can continue to be gaslit and lied to but I’m gonna start listening with my eyes from now on
And when I’m feeling better I’m going to share a post on my blog where I can upload some photos and some videos of it
I haven’t even been watching TV or playing video games or reading, I’ve mostly just been in my bed and sleeping a lot and eating when I can
I hope I feel better soon but I may have to go to the ER for the treatment I need 👀
I’ve been avoiding it TBH
I don’t want to be held against my will and I don’t want to die there and I most certainly would probably get arrested because I would fucking leave campground and if the cops tried to stop me I would still try to leave and get out of there
I mean I would rather be in jail and have three meals a day than to be anywhere near the goddamn hospitals or clinics when I fucking die
Capeesh?
Healthcare is deathcare
My eyes are open
And just like Neo, they hurt from what they see
I don’t think I have much time left but I don’t believe any of us have much time left 👀
Blogging is my lifeline to you
My safe place
My safety net
It is the only place online I can speak freely
And not be penalized to have my intellectual property or my account removed
These businesses need us to survive and yet they treat us like shit
The only way we can get our voice back is to stop using these apps until we get some sort of freedom of speech again and stop spending our money
Only buy what you really need
In America, I’m attempting to support American owned businesses only (and small)
But I don’t believe any sign in the door and I don’t believe in the governments agenda society is a scam it’s a sham consumption is narcissism and the less stuff we have the more expensive it’s going to get and those who have the most money are going to hog it
Start looking out for you and your circle
We’re all we’ve got
And you’re welcome on my boat, it’s not very big and there’s holes everywhere
I’m heading to Point Nemo
And check out this warning from TikTok, “Participating in this activity could result in you or others getting hurt” 👇
Apparently people are getting tracked on TikTok too, children are getting kidnapped as well as adults (I don’t know if the two are the same) but social media is toxic and the devil lives in your TV and his minions use it to kidnap us
Now I hope many of you know that kidnappings take place so that people can get sexually tormented (children too)
I read an article recently where the Mexican government was working with the mafia and they sexually tortured several teenage children (in Mexico) and we allow millions and millions and millions of immigrants to come over here and live in America and they don’t give a fuck about you or our culture or traditions
They are torturing children in their own country and they come over here and they fucking torture us too
Porn has done something to the human race
The other day when I was in the Vet Center I told the guy that I would just take all responsibility and say that I am what’s wrong with the world, that I’m the problem, I’m too broken, I’m “crazy” and so I need to just not be around other people or get married and he looked dead at me and said that I’m not the one whose crazy, it’s the world that is crazy and I’m not wrong about what’s going on with porn and how it’s affecting mankind
It felt so nice to be validated by a man
I mean I’m literally walking into his office carrying my crucifix and falling fucking down
But it’s nice to hear from another male soldier that I’m not crazy
That all this shit in society is wrong and toxic
I’ve had to get off most of social media because of how toxic it is, because of the catcalling, because of the death threats, because of the stalking, because my freedom of speech is gone
I have no rights anymore
Immigration has been a Trojan horse in America!!!
I have a right to be angry!!!
My comrades are dying by suicide!!!!
I’m awake!!! I’m up!!! I can’t save you, you have to save yourself!
But, I can stand quarantined near you
I can ration supplies
Build shelter and dig trenches
Clean and fire weapons
Pull security
Disabled, not obsolete 👀
I’ve been fighting for equality for a long time, that applies for the job market and the housing market as well
You don’t get to come over here and steal all our best jobs and all our management positions and create toxic environments and then force your fucking poison drugs on us anymore
Society is a sham
And it requires consuming to work
Endless consumption
And we’re wasting our natural resources so you can have resin Knickknacks
Plastic everywhere
Plastic everything
Generica
👎👎
Anyway, I’m grateful I have a blog to voice my concerns, to share my poetry, photography, and prose
I’m grateful I have you as a reader
I can’t do this without you
I need you
So this is just as much your award as it is mine
We got here together, in this boat 🛶
Thank you for 1,000 follows! 🥰
It took the plus one to get the badge
And it takes living a year to earn that age? 🤔
So I’m not really 43 right now, I’m technically still 42?
You only need five people for a squad and I’ve got an entire army! 💪
I mean, I got pretty angry when I went down for several months after getting the vaccine and learning the type of stuff that I’ve learned and attacking the system the way that I have, I thought that I would’ve lost followers in record numbers for sure
I was so worried about posting it because my eyebrows look so messy and bushy 😌
But it was all about timing, being able to get the lines out where you could actually hear me because the ocean was really loud and I don’t have my little clip on microphone yet and I didn’t want it to sound wind muffy
The tide was super strong pulling away 💪
It pulls out with so much gravity just like you
I have to be careful not to lose my footing
It took all the courage I had just to get off the ramp and get into the ocean knowing that there’s a whole lot more ocean than normal
People are out there swimming and I’m terrified knee deep 👀
I mean, it pulls back with so much force
A tide within a tide
Of course, a black hole would have a similar path
Like Jupiter and its great red spot, a storm within a storm
I don’t know how people are swimming in it, I’m terrified
The ocean swelled up just like my heart
I also received a blog notification that my stats were booming 🥰
Well I really appreciate that!
I love your visits! I promise to come visit you soon! ❤️
Oh my fucking God, stop the press, I’ve been called a whore again. 👀
He’s mad at me and now using that disgusting piece of shit ex of mine as a bomb to hurt me *rolls eyes* 🙄
Mark did scam me out of a lot of things, but my real love and heart he never got. He kept my pussy dry literally. Keep reading on to learn more 👀
(I went no contact from Mark – he posted on my blog when he got back with one of his exes, I didn’t go to The Chameleons blog – he came to mine. He’s a narcissist and I’d gone no contact but he was desperate for me to know – he’s desperate for me to love him. I don’t. I can’t stand Mark Burgess. He’s the plague and I want NOTHING to do with him. He never pays taxes, he lives rent free off the women he abuses. He’s a scumbag and writing music doesn’t give you the right to do the monstrous things he has done and continues to do. He’s a menace and needs burned at the stake, along with all the books and music. Erased from history is the only ending he deserves. Of course, he leads everyone to believe that the women are the problem even tho it’s the women running from HIM. And he moves from one relationship to the next. Claims true love every time. He taste like death. 🤮🤮🤮
I did a runner from Mark Burgess because he is the plague and you should stay far the fuck away from him.
I don’t like or love him.
I couldn’t even get sexually off from him
I couldn’t even get wet down there 😑
I don’t like Mark Burgess
I don’t love Mark Burgess
And you don’t get to act like you’re my best friend and then turn around and call me a whore just because I have a political fucking opinion about what’s going on in the world and I actually have a right to say something about what’s going on in the world because I’ve actually served my fucking country you piece of shit
Look at all this charming smooth talk via PM tho. You always wanted me to chat with yah, never did/would tho. Hell, you invited me into your home and offered to pay for my hotel.
But now publicly suddenly I am one of the worst things ever and a whore and I’m selling my body on the cheap
🧐
👇👇👇👇
👀
I never did give him what he wanted though- my time or my friendship and now look at him calling me a whore 👀 from inviting me and paying for my hotel to calling me a fucking whore 👀
He says I think the world owes me everything and I’m selling my body “on the cheap”
👀
But he was just inviting to pay for my fucking hotel room
👀
Now I’m a whore and he’s siding with that piece of shit Mark 👀
I am called a whore / you’d give me your dinner?
For the record, I don’t need anyone paying my hotel bills when I travel, I do that on my own.
I normally stay with my best friend who is a female – I’ve visited her in England twice staying with her 2 weeks on each visit.
I also helped with food and the electric and left her some moneyzzz cuz I’m not a complete bum.
She did not ask me to do this. Flights anywhere are expensive – and I’m happy to stay with my REAL FRIENDS when I visit if they invite me.
I’m not rich nor ever have been.
I was not born with a silver spoon.
I’ve always had to work 3 jobs to make ends meet.
I do not feel bad or guilty for stripping to eat or pay my bills.
You don’t get to invite me into your life and then call me a whore after and not get sandblasted.
He was always denied tho – as you can see – I don’t talk to anyone.
Prime example why
They all want to fuck me for free
Yet I’m called cheap
👀
Yea, I’m the problem clearly
Fuck off now
Run back to Mark Burgess
You’re both twats
Stop acting like you don’t have a porn addiction or that you are all holy and can call me your friend and then a “whore” (but only after you offered to pay for my hotel – I wasn’t a whore when you were offering to pay for my visit)
Never even had the desire to meet you – let alone for you to pay for my hotel.
“Whore” yup m’kay why? Because I do cosplay? Because I take off my clothes now during a pandemic because I’m disabled and need to pay my bills and we are in a RECESSION?
Because I blew through my life savings trying to stay afloat?
Because the jobs I was working paid under minimum wage and I have a college degree but can’t find work in my field due to the recession/furloughs/hiring freezes?
And those minimum wage jobs are taxed like hell and barely support cost of living (COLA) which is why people work multiple jobs to stay afloat?
Because they can’t save one fucking penny to get ahead.
Because nobody wants to actually support me or my dreams because they all want to “be my friend” so they can fuck me?
When I don’t want to fuck anybody –
Because I want to make babies with the love of my life and he recently bought me pizza?
Because I’m not actually a whore and there’s nothing wrong with sex workers.
I don’t actually “sell my body” 🧐
I don’t think anyone can actually “sell their body”. 🤔
If you mean “perform sex acts”, that isn’t anything I’m actually doing.
It’s called burlesque but I’m not very good.
I like to cosplay and roleplay tho cuz being an actor was always my dream, I still audition for parts (even reality TV shows), and I love getting to play dressup cuz I was always a Soldier/tomboy.
I don’t think what I am doing is sinful.
I’m trying to understand who I am as a human and a woman.
Not the part or role that everyone else wants me to play.
What I’m doing now is what I’ve always wanted to do.
Writing, photography, cosplay, guitar, it’s my thang.
The feedback I’ve been getting on my OnlyFans has improved my overall health and mental status / self-esteem.
I would say the feedback I have received has been priceless to my growth as a human and an artist.
There’s a lot of value on my OnlyFans and I’m trying to get better at my cosplay and my photography and I think it shows.
I appreciate your good feedback, your comments, likes, tips, gifts and subscriptions!
I also GREATLY appreciate the support on my Patreon as well!
“What this WHITE WOMAN”… “just another WHITE WOMAN” (why does he keep screaming about my skin color)?“You spilled all that shit out as if I’m supposed to give a fuck” (wait, what? You’re the one private messaging ME to “get to know me”. I guess you couldn’t see past my mental illness or color though)… So black and brown people don’t care about white people’s mental health according to Chris. He speaks for All Colored race… Doesn’t care “What we (white peope) think, feel, or say”… You still supporting his blog? 🤔
“Self-centered pieces of shit”- you realize he’s talking about white people, right? Then I’m called a bitch.
You still supporting this racist piece of fucking shit???
WHERE THE BLOGGERS AT?? HAD THIS BEEN REVERSED, I’D BEEN CRUCIFIED!!!
HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH. RACISM EXISTS IN 2021 AGAINST WHITE PEOPLE!!!
If I were turned into a 2D Disney character, this is how I would look! 😍
Now all I need is a lonely tower, a couple evil cats, and a Prince I’ve cast a spell on, who is madly in-love with me, and is coming to rescue me from my evil prison and release the curse!
Am I your new favorite cartoon? 😚
All my facial expressions Disneyfied!
Which are your favorites? 🤔
Thinking she’s going to die lonely, unrescued, and unloved…
Thanks for checking out my blog and for supporting independent artist!
exposed to you in naked lines I draw from worlds I’ve not made real save for the cosmos of my rhymes a universe of verse revealed read each word on tender lips that they find life beyond this mind the ink-stains on my fingertips made flesh and blood for you to find let each sound […]
Sometimes I wonder if I peered into Pandora’s box or if I am Pandora’s box. Uhm, my eyes bleed.
The fall from heaven is a terribly long one. Helps.
My cousin makes chocolate – she has a business she started up but it’s local to her only. But she sent me a box for Thanksgiving. It’s still hot as hell in Florida so she was worried about sending me chocolate afraid it would melt. She put a little cool pack in it and it arrived safely and I made a little video! I’m obsessed with chocolate, FYI. Hook me up with an IV please. 😜They are delish! She has a gorgeous little set-up when she does local events. This is just a little chocolate selfie. Is that a thing? 😊The names of the chocolates she made. I have a few left. Been trying to ration. May get more for XMAS now that we know they’ll arrive safely. I normally only get bills in the mail so I love receiving snail mail especially arts and food. 😍My energy levels have been so low but I’m working in my studio today recording spoken word for my Patreon. About to hit up the Starbucks though because she also sent me a gift card and that coffee will be great today. Need that extra kick! 👊
Despite being tired, I wrote this poem this morning before I even brushed my teeth. Lazy has never been in my resume. Off to Starbucks – then recording in my studio!
I hope you all are having a fantastic holiday and getting some love out there!
Thanks for checking out my work and for supporting independent artists! 😊
PoeEternal 