Posted on by poeeternal

Together Or Separate

It’s like his bouquet of poetry comes with thorns
And behind those sweet eyes there are horns
Though no matter the distance, love still forms
And together or separate, we create storms

© Delia Ross. 2020

I’m already seeing my view counter drop since he’s been blocked and I won’t be able to keep him blocked long because I need him in my life even if only as a ghost. But right now I need to punish him the way he punishes me. I hope one day we’ll be on speaking terms again and following each other again but he’s told too many lies to the other females in his life… He made his bed, now he must lie in it. And I had to block him because his lack of attention to me hurts so much. But blocking him also hurts. Everything hurts. But when he loves me he loves me so well. The ironic thing is, he has all those other girls but that still doesn’t stop him from checking on me like a lot… He needs me too. Lying won’t stop the need. And all those other girls won’t stop his need of me either. I guess our tether is fatedly attached, and his hold on me won’t release and my hold on him won’t release. I might die otherwise.

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Colors

I dream colors of grey, blue, and red
My eyes open and see you instead
Every image is turned into you
Can’t escape your gravity no matter what I do

How the greys simply tug on my heart
And your blue keeps me from falling apart
How your red is like the blood in my vein
And your voice is the thunder and the rain

© Delia Ross. 2020

Eternally falling for you

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Amnesia

He touched me without ever touching
He freed me by also caging
Amnesia to the lies that were given
Or maybe he’s a dream I am missin’

I lived in his words where I loved
I grew, and I stumbled and I learned
I ached and I longed and I hurt
I still dance and I scream and I thwart

His love is rare like an eclipse
What I’d give to hear my names off his lips
Or to feel both his hands on my hips
Just to be a girl that he worships

© Delia Ross. 2020

I love him so I have amnesia to his lies or truth or fantasy or head games. Love is love.

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Phases

You are my favorite place
The way your eyes move across my face
Like watching phases of the Moon retrace
You leave but return full with grace

© Delia Ross. 2020

News of my king returning has got my soul lit up like fireworks! The way I come alive when he sees me. The way his hugs always feeds me. “Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt”… I gotta get my birthday plans sorted. He makes the air worth breathing. A new circle of life. Rebirth. ✌️

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Surf

His soul is like a soothing surf
And I can’t get enough
But I’m crashing around his hidden turf
Like where the tide is rough
I get so tired like near giving up
But then he shows his worth

© Delia Ross. 2020

New #freestyle micropoem
My messy penmanship 😊

I can’t stop writing. Pages. But none of it is in the digital land yet. Thought I’d share this freshly written micropoem tho…

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House Arrest

He’s there but he isn’t but he is
Like the heart I’m missing cuz it’s his
And all this need for truth and accuracy keeps me caged
But underneath the lying they’re all the same

I watch the needle shred the rope away
And minute by hour my hope will fade
It’s like I’m drowning on the words you always say
And I don’t know if I can make it another day

It’s like I’m pleading and I’m bleeding through my rhyme
And I’m screaming and I’m needing you all the time
My eyes keep leaking as the sun will rise
The devils’ always dancing to our cries

He thinks he needs them though they never satisfy
Yet one thought of me will make him high
He keeps me condemned to these tears I cry
And neither of us know how to say goodbye

Everything about them is second best
And he keeps my heart on house arrest
It’s like my compass is always pointing midwest
My feet are walking but they’re never blessed

My mind could end it, my heart won’t quit
And others tell me he isn’t it
The message broken, it won’t transmit
I’m trekking on, even if frostbit

I would move a mountain to feel his touch
I’ve cried an ocean, guess it really ain’t much
I know we’re both in hell that’s my clearest view
You can say you love them it isn’t true

Maybe one day you won’t hide your head in shame
Maybe one day you won’t treat love as a game
Maybe one day you’ll feel proud of your name
But if that day never comes I still love you the same

© Delia Ross. 2020

It’s a funky rhyme. I feel like a living dead ghoul….obsessed or maybe possessed. My rhyme testimony to my last living will…and the powerful dread of unrequited love. Don’t worry, we all die one way or the other, but this way is the worst.

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Castaway

I can taste the sea in his poetry
His words leave imprints in the sand
Watch how the lines form
Scribbles of time
Narrow and wide
Just like the tide

He’s gentle and foamy
And when I lick my lips I taste his salt
I want to live on his beaches
A deserter
A far away castaway

At night his words whip across my dunes
Polishing my shell
I’m under his swell
He rides me so well

His eyes open like a sunset
And there the skies are blue
How wonderful too

He’s calling like a whale
His song travels light-years
Oceans
Continents

Under wonder I dwell

He’s pulling back from the current
When his words are rough

I spiral through chaos
Go with the flow
Where else can I go?
Deeper you know

I can’t swim his undertow
Let him take me

Washed ashore
Crawling for mercy
Crawling for more

© Delia Ross. 2020

Photo by @poeeternal

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Lingering

I felt the sound of his voice crawling through my lonely bones
He trickled down these dusty pipes
His voice echoing around my bends
Washing away where I’ve been
There’s a slight pause between what is now and what was then
Choices are graveyards that will cost you your zen
You’re at it again

When the silence comes it forms in tears
But the way he kisses my dreams it brings comfort to my fears
And maybe it’s been him I’ve been missing all these years
So I clutch to the now in case he disappears

His voice is that light that trickles through the woods
And he’s not knocking on my door to sell me any goods
And his face is clear it’s not hiding under hoods
And the messages direct, not misunderstood

He is the calm of the wave pulling me in
A warm breeze of serenity
Letting him bask under my skin
Lingering lingering in him

A mid-morning freestyle that went from a non-rhyme to a rhyme ‘cuz I’m out of control… (and so is my hair)

6 AM Saturday morning snaps + poem
6 AM Saturday morning snaps + poem = thinking of him

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Air

He kisses me like air; there’s an urgency there

Like he’s gasping to care; and he’s everywhere

The way his fingers stare; and his touch is rare

The way he’s in my prayer; and his creed I wear

© Delia Ross. 2020

I couldn’t sleep and so I’m doing what I like to do best… writing rhyme. 😊 xoxo

Have you joined my Patreon yet?

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Innocence

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Have you ever tasted sweet innocence
Rolling in like soft thunder and how it gently nurtures sorrow
Nothing taste sweeter than forgiveness and redemption from her hands
The way the rain pitter patters it’s like her feet dancing in your soul
Those are tears of laughter now
The sky claps
She’s not a prison, she’s freedom
Your tongue was dry but now it’s wet
Your life was a desert but now it’s an ocean full of life
She has given you paradise in hell
Taste her

Photo taken by me somewhere off the coast of Ireland, circa December 2015. I stopped driving in Ireland to get out and snap this photo of a boat stuck in low tide, with a rainbow appearing over it. Perceptions are everything. How we respond to our environment is everything. Poem is new, photo is not. Still learning life lessons. Thank you Ireland.

© Delia Ross. 2020

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I Love Him

I love him
The way a sunset paints the sky with pink, purple and blue
The way the colors mix over the sky with an arch made of vivid colors
I love the way his words dry my eyes
Or the way his many voices threads itself into my life
I love the way he nestles softly in my mind, covering tracks of agony
The way his sticky, sweet words attach to my heart
I love how tender his tongue is to me, how it glides over my mistakes like candy
I love how there’s an ethereal bridge from my heart to his forever connected
I love how his silence accompanies my sorrow like a blanket
I love the way he loves me without loving me at all
How his living ghost dances with my dreams every hour
How, upon waking and first thought he is there to catch me
I love how his hand has never touched my body but his energy has reached even my darkest corridors, replacing the dust with light
I love how his help indebted me to his heart forever, as if God himself supplied the order he executed unknowingly
I love how lost we are in each other yet found
I love him the way a flower blooms at first light, just like my soul bloomed when he found me at frozen peril
How he scooped me from the fetal position and tucked me in his warm heart and now I go where he goes
I love how he’s never around, yet he’s always around, like the hope I breathe
I love how the blue in his eyes makes my blood boil
How he makes my fears stand erect and puts my courage to trial
Or how the tip of his nose centers me like a compass
I love how he is my north, or my south, or any direction
I love how we are spaceless among the infinite space between us
I love how his words marry my words because we are one
I love how he never tells the child in me to grow up, instead gives me a field to play in
I love how he describes me in his poetry, as if I’m seeing myself in the mirror for the first time,
Or seeing the world through his eyes as it should be, and not how others have made me believe it to be
Oh, how I love that he gives these dry eyes sight! He gives my pulse a rush! I’m alive, I’m alive! Feel me!
I have seen things that make me wonder but none so much as you!
I love how his arms are always open for my return but just give me another day!
I love how his arms are always open for me to leave but just give me another day!
I love how the other women in his life never speak of him the way I do, for I was made for him
I love how I have to step on my tippy-toes to hear his words rise
I love him because I can and will continue to love him as I am, free

© Delia Ross. 2020

Dear Christopher, I have said and behaved in manors towards you that I deeply regret, and I can line the road with excuses or roses, but the truth is, I’ve never loved anybody, nor have I known love in any capacity (and not even in a parental sense) so I’m driving blind basically. But, I know that I have embarrassed and hurt you, and for that I am sorry. I’ve staked unfounded claims, and made accusations, without so much as discussing it with you, my head is messy and confused. I hope moving forward, we can put things behind us, as space is directionless anyhow, and, if we’re real, I’d like to die knowing you don’t hate me. But currently, I don’t know that, as we aren’t even following each other anymore, though I feel doors may still be open. I just don’t want to greet the other side, with that doubt. I can’t promise to stop writing love poems, but I can promise to not embarrass you by private messaging them to you, it’s not something I’ve ever done before, nor will I ever again. I’m not trying to marry you, or trap you, I’m just, at the very least, hoping for a ‘ship’ of any kind, preferably friendship, as opposed to acquaintance or enemy. Ghosting is my least favorite form of communication. Aside from death… Anyway, I think you’re cool and dig your energy and would like to be allowed around / in it, if ever permitted.

Sidefact: Ahhh the romance is still bleeding from me, I mean Edgar Allan Poe died in the streets, NAKED, BROKE, ALONE, and in-love… I have some of his unpublished words tattooed on my ribcage, they were, for his love, WHO DIED (who turned out to be his blood cousin, gross, wish I had known that little detail pre tattoo, but I still love Poe, even flawed, and would have got the tattoo anyway, I just like complaining, OH POE IS ME). By the way, it just occurred to me, in this very moment, that the dude I’m in love with, has part of Poe’s name. OH MY GAWD. 🤓 I don’t know, but I need a moment to process this universal sign… It’s like God’s waving a flag over his head saying HELLO, THE LIGHT FINALLY WENT OFF. As if, we needed any other signs but fuck, whoa, things are becoming blurry, I’m dizzy and drunk in love. Am I dying????? *runs and hides*

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Besotted

My eyes are besotted
Though even while closed he remains
Either shadow or color
A gentle lover
I look up
As if I’m stargazing
And he’s always there to find me
I like to rest between his heart beats
My ears catch his whispers
Chemical energy in the touch
The way his fingers trace my lips
And erase centuries of loneliness
His kiss must be the holy grail
I have fallen from heaven for this
I heard his deep call
It pierced the woods and the wounds
I was no longer winter
But a bloom
That warmth is life
And I a parasite for his love
Or sweet sugar
The way his words leak down my spine
God says it’s alright
Did you hear destiny skipping by
I couldn’t help but stop and giggle
If you let wonder have a sleepover
You might wake to find surprise

© Delia Ross. 2020

A soft reading: https://tuners.io/tracks/15486

Tired and writing in my pjs
Bedroom poetry
bunnieeee


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Glimpses

I have glimpses of a life I’ve never known
There’s stitches in my heart where he has sewn
There’s wishes leaking out of every bone
There’s pieces of me in him I call home

There’s fences keeping eyes where they belong
There’s chances never learning right or wrong
And dances never settling in song
Circumstances keeping everyone withdrawn

© Delia Ross. 2020

So I did a little recording thingy of Glimpses: https://tuners.io/tracks/15399

For the record, all my poems are new. I bleed poetry.

My subconscious or other worldy being is creating memories of a life with him that never existed because it can’t bear to live any part without him, and the regret is carving deeper rivers than I care to run. Love is love. But why is he scared of it? He’s just too selfish to part with his ways and he’s got a sex addiction he needs to get a grasp on. I mean God damn if Trent Reznor can be kinky and loyal why can’t there be other dudes!?! He’s the only guy I’ve ever asked to marry me by the way (Reznor that is) and it’s in the Nine Inch Nails archives somewhere and Trent Reznor did not say no and he answered my music questions too. That’s actually a nice real memory as opposed to the fake memories my brain is having to create because it loves a dude that won’t have anything to do with me…

I asked Trent Reznor to marry me, LOL I love me so much… that was back when he had an actual fanclub and he was active in the NIN message boards. You had to be in the club to get there. And when he did way with fanclubs, he made us permanent members (kinda of). I haven’t logged in, in a minute, I need to get over there. And to another gig. I’ve had stage every time, but have never officially met Trent. He’s on like kid number 5 now!?! She is popping out them babies god bless her, lucky bitch… Anyhoo, I’m totally gaga for the dude this poem is about, he knows who he is. Hi. I love you still. You know I’m your favorite love. Masks won’t hide fate. Or you from me. Sorry, not sorry. “I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo, what the hell am I doing here…”

What do you think an angels tear is worth? I’ve cried a million for him…

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I LOVE Y’ALL ✌

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Transmission Unknown

Transmission unknown but the signal goes until I’m no longer breathing
It looks as if he ran away but looks can be deceiving
He is shining in my sky, though it must be evening
And wishes when they can be made, I hope it’s me he’s needing
And maybe when he settles down, my love he’ll be receiving

© Delia Ross. 2020

All those donuts I ate caught up with me
And I now weigh in at 129 pounds
Light as maybe 2 feathers now…
Or three…
Happy Valentines!! I love you!!! ❤
Seriously though I do
Still
Do you think we’ll be friends one day? Or follow one another again?
I would like that, wouldn’t you?
I feel your energy all the time. Is that you? Transmissions received

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In The Ever

Be tender with my will
Craters have formed from the impact of your words
They crush and pulverize
How deep do my crevices go?
Their corridors are dark
And fill with regolith
I tremble with aftershocks
As your words settle into the cold
My bones hold worries unknown
My smooth surface eroding from longing
I’d let you hide in my depths
Come and go with the shadows
See how the light races around my hole
It falls into aches and covers the night with hope
I am longing to find you there
Your words move quicker than light-speed
I am hollow, penetrate me
Watch how the dust settles
There’s a glimmer of destiny there
Satisfaction
Unison
We belong together
Like orbits decaying
Feel the pull
Shake me
The more you resist, the harder I tug
Inevitability
Had you not found me when you did
My darkness might have perished forever
You sheltered me from death
By breaking me apart
And then you assembled me into fragments and shards of fate
And now I must find myself
Aching is need of life
More pieces
Of you
You’ve fallen everywhere
Our dust glitters
I am everywhere you look now
Finally together
Ice rings form around my shell
A promise ring of forever
Or a chastity belt of no escape
Trapped in the eternal
I was waiting here in the dark yet still I was found
Bound, now in the ever
Look at your creations
Beautiful disasters
Wait here awhile
Cover me in your eternity

© Delia Ross. 2020

If you dig this poem, please hit the “like” button so I know! If my poem moved you, drop me a comment below, I love hearing from you!

If you dig my writing, you can help support my art by subscribing to my Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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Dreams

If a dream had a silhouette, would it appear like streaks of gray in your beard?

Or perhaps the shadow of a dream, would look like the hue of your blue eyes?

Per chance dreams took form like the shape of your hands, stretching long like an icy comet tail…

Maybe dreams greet us like sunrises, casting warmth over darkness the way your lips do.

Sometimes dreams come rolling in like thunder, from the sound of your voice, falling into my cracks.

Have you seen wonder the way it moves over the curb of your head?

I have seen miracles grow from your ear.

A moonrise is the peak of your nose.

I have built hope on top of your words.

Did you know that time is my every thought of you?

I watched you suck poison from my vein, and still your back was sturdy from the stones I hurled.

If love were an entity, he came to visit in your half smile.

Did you know that words have the power to heal but yours have raised the dead?

You are the shelter I seek. Let me take refuge under your breath.

One time is forever. So is it once or never?

Dreams, they’re all the shape of you.

Sometimes dreams slide off of your tongue, and get trapped in my throat.

You can’t erase the vast expanse your existence takes up in my heart.

Our love is an eighth wonder of the universe. Move over Juliet.

I have seen entire star formations in your eyes.

If words are forever, my love is permanent.

Dreams are stepping stones and mine will lead to your imagination.

All dreams form like the shape of your face, when moon’s are eclipse, and orbits are bound.

I have seen pillars grow from your words, and ancient beast taking bow.

Dreams are the way you forgive my faults. You put them to rest and tell them goodnight. You kiss my forehead gently.

Did you know, if you close your eyes and think about me, I will find you there? Dream formation.

The atmosphere will change, that’s a dream forming like a cloud, it has mass and energy, and you will feel time slow.

Dreams are the way my eyes caress your poetry, how my feet slip into your metaphors, and whisper goodnight.

Dreams are because I believe in love again.

Even if dreaming is all I’ll ever do…

© Delia Ross. 2020

Did you like this poem? If you dig my writing, you can support my art by subscribing to my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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xoxo sweet dreams xoxo
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Wishing

I need him with a purpose
The pain makes it all worth it
I’ve got him in my focus
It’s more than feeling hopeless

I pray like it has powers
And luck is in her hours
His hand she doesn’t deserve
And I’m wishing that I was her

© Delia Ross. 2020

If you dig my writing, you can support my blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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Blooms of Forever

I wonder how my name would sound upon his tongue
Dripping off the alter
Seeping underneath my skin

Foraging its way to fantasies underground
Entire oceans parting open
To let him in

Would it flood my deserts
Cover my roots with silky twine
Promise blooms of forever

Listen to a soft reading here: https://tuners.io/tracks/14617

© Delia Ross. 2020

Happy Chinese New Year Of The Rat 🙂 photos from a few minutes ago…

If you dig my writing, you can support this blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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Between The Lines

I hid between the space of
dream and reality
half-slumbered
like an echo nearing its end

I looked over heartache
hanging crooked
like a crescent moon
longing for finality

Drenched in the regret of becoming whole
now armies gather in my hull
bringing doubt

I see and can’t undue what’s seen
wide expanses of disillusionment
How many times must I end?

The foundation of spirit crushed
and gravity is the weight of ego
pulling between my heart and tongue

If I let go I may never see again
the girl you so perfectly drew
and loved between the lines

Or feel in places I have never felt
That alternate reality which houses
every bit of my soul

© Delia Ross. 2020

If you dig my writing, you can support this blog and help keep it running by subscribing to my Patreon here (big love to my Patrons): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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I legit picked up a pen for this. Excuse the messy writing and fuck-ups.
Posted on by poeeternal

Rose 🌹

He says she’s perfect as a rose
Pink is her flesh where she climbs and grows
But does he know how deep her thorns can go?
He makes her petals spread wherever he goes
Her blooms so wide beg for control

© Delia Ross. 2020

If you dig my writing, you can support this blog and keep it running and advert free by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/

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Listen to me free on my radio channel at Tuners Radio: https://tuners.io/users/POEETERNAL

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The Garden of Us

Maybe if he understood the need
How longing is growing like a weed
And in between the distance and the stars that truly listen
I know he’d rather have me in the lead

Maybe if I took the time to plead
And nurtured space like it was a seed
The stuff that would be growing is the energy in knowing
That fate will come to help us both succeed

© Delia Ross. 2020

If you dig my writing, you now can support this blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (sign-up is quick & easy): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/

I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: https://www.twitter.com/poeeternal

Listen to me share stories and attempt spoken word (sometimes with guitar) on my radio channel at Tuners Radio: https://tuners.io/users/POEETERNAL

In fact, I did a little jingle of this on my Tuners just this now… ✌

P.S. For Chris

“Longing” digiart by #poeeternal
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Magma

He’s magma
Watch him flow
Feel the Earth grow

His words make time slow
His rhyme flows through my soul

Warm desire
Taste the fire
Never letting go

© Delia Ross. 2020

I’m gonna effing melt…. on fireeee

Petite little thing
Small but mighty
Broken yet whole
No filter version me
Have you joined my Patreon yet? What’s stopping you? Sign up is quick and easy!

If you enjoy my writing, please consider subscribing to my Patreon to support this blog and keep it running. Thank you! ❤

https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

P.S. I love a boy named Christopher ✌

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What It Takes

She’s part lightning and part thunder
She’s the muse to make you wonder
She’s the open field you wander
She’s the kiss to make you hunger

She’s the truth you seek but fear to face
And the purity you long to taste
She’s the hand that knows how to heal an ache
And she’d give it all if that’s what it takes

She’s the rainbow you see after a storm
The energy of a star to help you keep warm
She’s the honey and hive where the bees always swarm
Yet you are the reason her smile can take form

© Delia Ross. 2019

If you like my writing, please consider subscribing to my new Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/

I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: https://www.twitter.com/poeeternal

Listen to me free on my radio channel at Tuners Radio here: https://tuners.io/users/POEETERNAL

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Traces

He traces over my body
Exploring every freckle like it’s a galaxy
He speaks in mountains of sighs
He travels through my valley’s
Through my depressions and my highs
He lingers near the alley of my thighs
He catches every heartbeat when he looks into my eye
And gentle is the hand that never says goodbye

© Delia Ross. 2019

He once traced me in poetry, now it is only in dream…

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Vampire Viking Fourplay

Satin today
Tomorrow blade
A mask won’t hide his thoughts away
Closed doors to me are an archway
His absence is saying come my way

His distance is sky for my parachute
His bitterness to me is the sweetest fruit
I’ll put it on my tongue and savor his juice
His walls to me are just another route

Dirt was made for digging tunnels
Demons fall bored so may cause troubles
His desert to me is an open jungle
His masks to me are just more popped bubbles

Stuck with me on planet Earth
The deeper you burrow, I value your worth
The more you plummet, I feel your girth
The more you love, the more I curse

© Delia Ross. 2019

A sign to me is a doorway, a fence was made to be jumped
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Bound

Twisted around his finger he has me wound
Like a string, pluck a note, make a sound
Up and down my neck his finger’s bound
Stretching fingers’ out ’til scales are found

Turn the volume up so cries are drowned
Make her beg for mercy where he’s crowned
Dig into her flesh a calloused frown
Teach her that there is no love around

Practice through the night ’til finger’s raw
Make her wish you never met at all
Polish over wounds until they thaw
Making sure she’s crawling down the hall

First there will be pleasure then a claw
Seeing things you’d rather never saw
Open wide fist inside your jaw
Safety here never was a law

© Delia Ross. 2019

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I Need

I need a gentle lover who is tough
I need a firm hand that isn’t rough
I need him to give me more when I’ve had enough
I need him to remember I do stupid stuff

© Delia Ross. 2019

Sorry y’all, it’s veterans day and I’ve got food and weed. Bless.

I’m dropping stories in my Instagram about my soldiering.

Don’t you dare come at me with that stupid marijuana fear-mongering bullshit. I need the VA to write me a prescription.

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Vacancy

Is there a place in your heart nobody has been?
Will you take me to it and when?
Has real love ever touched your skin?
And when you’re done with lust can you trade it in?

Is there a hand that ever loved you true?
Because, I’ve got two that can love you through,
Baby, you were made for me, and I for you.
And when our hearts connect, life can pursue. 

Have you ever found a home in a soul?
Has anyone ever made you feel whole?
And if I were to give you complete control,
Baby, just tell me, when can I enroll?

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Light-years of Love

Every inch of him is a galaxy unexplored
And every day he is more adored

I want to drive my tongue over
His peaks and valleys and lows
Let’s explore another language that nobody knows

His mind is a multi-verse
I need to immerse (and for better not worse)

His tongue spans light-years
Where I wanna disappear
His words blow me out of here

His hands are mountains I long to climb
Forever and through the ends of time

He is all the energy of a massive sun
And for him I do burn

He is the seed, he is the soil
He makes my blood boil

© Delia Ross. 2019

My desire and longing spans the ends of space and even that reach does not quantify my love for him. Which, is why space is infinite, oddly. Coincidence? Nope. Science and love are hard to comprehend at times, and that is where faith comes in. Sometimes, you just gotta believe… ❤

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Her

I was in search of healing
My wings damaged, my knees in kneeling
A war with a monster, I never was winning
Narcissism will keep your head spinning

I was cleansing the root of my soul
I was tossing those sins in a hole
I was stitching my heart to feel again whole
And a couple years passed would you know

But one day there he was, I noticed, oh yes, I noticed
His crown dragging behind his feet, it was a bust
I’m not sure if it was his sin or a thick layer of dust
Maybe it just hides behind a wall of his lust

I heard him mouthing words from his tongue like thunder
Such fury, where does it come from, I still wonder
Crashing down curiosities is where I fell under
I slipped into his words, then love, and I became her

I remember the day I left him a compliment
I thought it was a bomb the way he responded
My hand was bitten and he was so blunt
I still stick around but he is on the hunt

Sometimes I would find pieces of me in his words
The dinner bell rang and we rushed in like buzzards
Little seeds of hope we would nibble like birds
There may have been red flags but we ignored all the hazards

Like favorite pets except for me
I come around, he gets angry
But I still don’t know how to leave
It’s impossible, I love him you see

© Delia Ross. 2019

Does he hate me because I see through his mask, or because I see through his mask and still love him? Maybe, just maybe, I’m not a bird he wants to eat? Or does he hate me because I stole her shoes? I’m not giving them back, they fit my feet and I have tiny feet. I found my missing slipper, gosh dang it, he needs to get over it. They’re mine now. MINE I SAID. Just like I belong to him, he just doesn’t know it yet. He is lost. But I found him so I’m hoping he’s only half lost now. Knock knock, Neo, it’s me, the one…open the door

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My Survivor CBS Casting Call/Auditions

How many of you would watch Survivor CBS if I got cast on it? It’s a possible “what if” cuz I’m actively auditioning for it. ALOT. 3 auditions in 1 year with a 4th incoming! I keep blowing my auditions & casting calls, I gotta ace this 4th attempt!! But, the very first rule of Survivor is never give up! And I ain’t! I am more determined than ever to get on and show these players how this game needs to be played!!! It’s THE BEST GAME ON EARTH. GET ME ON THE SHOW, PLEASE RECRUIT ME SURVIVOR CBS!

I can’t tell you how badly I want to play this game…yes I can, I can go on and on and on cuz, GOALS. (It’s not about fame, that isn’t my objective. I want to be SOUL SURVIVOR and go home with that million-dollar prize). It is the number 1 show still on CBS, but the best game ever and I am a huge gamer). I really get into gameplay. 🙂

I went to a Survivor casting call this year. Plus submitted TWO video auditions. I have terrible stage fright and keep blowing them. Getting ready for a 4th audition, wish me luck!!!
Myself and Dan from Season 37 at the Survivor auditions April (2019). They actually said I’d be perfect for the show. 😆
Self with 3 Survivor players and Zeke (far right) was auditioning like me. Zeke and I have stayed in contact! He lives near me. 😊
I waited hours to get my 60 seconds and I blew it. I forgot everything I was supposed to say and didn’t use my full 60 Seconds. Stage fright ugggggg!!!!!
Finally, my turn next after hours of waiting in line. I nearly peed myself.
These are all from my Instagram and you can revisit my stories & wall, I have a SURVIVOR story tab and a few post on my wall. With better shots.
This is how I’ve escaped the “you can only apply to Survivor one time a year” rule. Survivor CBS will lift it. And that’s pretty much what’s going on now so I can get a fourth audition in. My first time applying was Halloween of 2018 so technically it’s been 1 year now. My casting call was in April. And I will drive to another casting call as well if they have one nearby. GETTING ON THIS SHOW
That’s what Dan was saying to me as he was filming me filming him HAHA. He’s hot stuffs, you should go check out his Instagram.
I was in Jessica Peet’s story, she was a castaway on Survivor!!! She also said I would be great for the show.
Dan!
Y’all have no idea how hard it is for me to socialize, but that’s part of the great challenge of playing Survivor, it’s not about being the strongest player and winning all the challenges because if the players won’t vote for you in the end you won’t be a soul survivor, it’s just as much a social game, as it is physical. But, I’m facing my fears and reaching for the stars and planets.
MY TURN TO AUDITION FOR SURVIVOR CBS, SMILE!!! I drove I think for an hour to get to the casting call and I got there really early in the morning and the line was already extremely long and I made it on the news as well! LOL That’s the third time I’ve made the news in my life. Albeit, this time more brief.
People find love on Survivor y’all. LOVE. GET ME ON THE SHOW!
I went live at the casting call LOL
Survivor players plus myself at the casting call

So what I’ve learned is, it’s not that I’m not good enough to be on the show, it’s just I’m not exactly what they need for that particular season yet. You have to keep auditioning because you might be exactly what they need for an upcoming season. So, I nearly gave up and lost hope but the first rule of Survivor is never give up! 😆

Follow me on my socials if you wanna see more of what I’m up to. I’ve mostly kept my blog about my writing. I’m more transparent on my Twitter and Insta (@POEETERNAL).

So, I hope you enjoyed these behind-the-scene photos of my life. ☺

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Dreamland

What islands must we breach, in a faraway dreamland, where the habits we keep, are safely out of reach, and the love we share, is a language we can finally comprehend?

What mystical gardens must we sow, where joy and hope is the grain that we grow, and your hand is the vine, connected to the very root of my soul?

What maps must we hunt, what fear do we uncover, that leads me to the forest where you are my lover?

What secrets do we bury, so your mask is less heavy, and my shadow will feel more like a friend not in a hurry?

What ship must I sail, on what troubles do we travail, will you follow me out of hell, can you live to tell our tale (what if I fail)?

What skin must we shed, what sorrow do we part, show me through the doors, that will lead to your heart, past the halls of the longing, through the deeds where we get our first start?

© Delia Ross. 2019

I need him so much it actually hurts…

Saddest girl in the world.. (Self-portrait)
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You

You could give me gold, I am sure it’s what most want
But it will never satisfy, no matter what you flaunt

You can hide my eyes, but can you stop your voice
The one that’s in my head and loves without a choice

If I were to show you what is underneath my cloak
Do you think that you would like me, even when I spoke

You could send me flowers, anyone can do that
But the words that you’re writing, makes my heart so fat

You could take me places, but I’d rather be at home
The depths in your eyes are the streets I want to roam

You could play me music but what I really want to hear
Is your voice leaning in and whispering in my ear

So the things that I want isn’t much this is true
Because the only thing I want is to be alone with you

© Delia Ross. 2019

I’m not asking for much, I just want it all because you are everything and all I need (all I really want is my guitar and you) 🤓

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Things (but mostly love)

Her hopes take flight, it catches starlight, it rides the night, it gives her dreams sight, for his love she will fight


He knows not his creed but it is burned to my tongue-
Like a tattoo by fate, open my gate and come

Please need me

I crawled on when my hope was gone
I saw sun but my eyes were burned
I found love where the hand was numb
I gave love when it would not come


He writes the most beautiful poetry
And I want to organize them into little treasures for my mind
An instrument of the finest wording and it starts with his rhyme
Pluck a note from me, as I’m slightly off key
It doesn’t take much to tune me when his writing is my shrine
He intoxicates me better than the finest wine

His words should come with a sign that reads, “do not engage”

So innocent was her love, so pure
The bouquet of poetry he would write would allure
It was love of this she was sure
In the afterglow of words she felt secure

Want a dose of paranoia mixed with anxiety? Well, if he is her and you are me and they are them, then who the fuck is she?

He doesn’t know it but he is a giant in my heart.

He was unaware of her worth
But there was something in her eye
And the look was divine
And it tasted of desire
Love sprung from the Earth


Everyone seems to be living such wonderful lives and I just want to hide in his eyes

He comes back for my love
When he’s lost his reserve
Just as I am giving up

Most days my soul is suffocating
Bouncing up and down
Flipping and flopping
Gasping for air
Frantic and in despair
Where is the life?

Silence brings violence

He’s not quite 6 feet but every bit iron foot

Just because you think I’m perfect doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell me I’m good. Just because you don’t think I’m worth it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell me I could.

Death didn’t hurt. Everything else did.

He moves fast through my heart like rapids…

What I would give to be shifted to number one.

Love goes on through the seasons.

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Regolith

Life is so bland, so very dreary
But when I take the walls down
And I start to move around
The Moon she peers at me
As if I’m well and sound
And she offers me a different theory

Still the cold finds the cracks
And in creeps what I lack
And now it’s dark, I’ve lost the tracks
But tell me who really has your back?

Was it done for her or was it done for you
And is it something that you ever knew
Maybe you tried but you changed your view
When instead you should have changed your crew

Is it lack of discipline or are you really bad
Since depression took over she’s your only comrade
And so you tell the Moon the reasons you’re sad
And I can tell she understands a tad

Her regolith is made from fires
And you’re the only man she ever desires
And if the Moon is something you admire
It’s the same as why her love won’t expire

Some treat her like a chemical waste
And some responses were done in haste
And if it’s what you want it can be erased
It can disappear without a trace

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Destination: Love

He is part of a world I wish I was in
The story is open, the pages are thin
Love is where I’m going but it’s never where I’ve been
The road is full of obstacles and requires some discipline

The clouds passing by bring a current of hope
The fog dissipates with all of my mope
The sun bursts with a new horoscope
The sky is a blanket where my sorrows can cope

I took my depression and left it in a back alleyway
I may return for it again someday
And when my fears visit, they’ll arrive in a beautiful bouquet
And if you ever forgive me, that day will be a permanent holiday

Set the controls to where my heart is churning
Look all directions, you’ll see our fire burning
There is never a day for you I am not yearning
Some practice of forgiveness is worth learning

© Delia Ross. 2019

I lied though, ‘cuz he is really my favorite poet. I can feel him inspire every little fiber and molecule in me… just saying.

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Cobwebs

He spins a web of confusion
He spews we are living in delusion
That won’t stop him from carrying on
His mask cannot hide his beacon

And without reason, I follow the action
I was taught love is twice bitten
Well, maybe his web leads to Eden
It matters not how many webs are spun

I crawl over fragmented dreams and broken bones
It makes me ponder how many hearts he owns
Are they easy to collect like clones
Does he cherish the ones dethroned from their thrones

The stickier the web, the heavier the bloodstones
The harder the heart, the more sinful the wrongs
The farther we part, the heavier the moans
The more you punish, the darker the zones

© Delia Ross. 2019

For the most part, I put all my darkness into my poetry, or my art, I wouldn’t actually bite his head off in real life… the follow unfollow routine might be annoying but seriously there are worse crimes. And I’m trying to refrain from allowing others to trigger me. I have written him so much beautiful rhyme, it would be a shame to focus on the few falls between. xxoo

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Twilight

Tuck me into twilight
Let your lips touch my dreams
Your love is the skylight
And hopeful are its streams

The Moon is a spotlight
Where you can find my love every night
And every star in the sky –
The amount of times you made me sigh

I love you through all eternal
I will always be your angel
Unto you I will be faithful
This love is yours to cradle

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Pondering

Can you love a man?
But not know him?
Does love exist?
What type is it?

Can you want a dream?
Without anything?
Can you feel a thing?
Without noticing?

Can you give it a try?
Without the alibi?
Can you draw the line?
Some other time?

Can we start again?
As a real friend?
What can you admit?
Am I that easy to quit?

In comes another nail
The devil on my tail
He smiles while he impales
Off my sorrow he sails

There he goes again, always with the wind, there he goes again, always with the end

© Delia Ross. 2019