Inconsolable The way you throb for her I move through life Like I’ve heard not a word You’ll get what you deserve My love decomposable Grasping at darkness It’s exposable The Great Unearthing You’re disposable
I have some photo shoots I’m wanting to get done but also a lot of moving parts that need to come together. Scout locations. Costume fittings. Weather permitting. And that’s just a few… I don’t want to give away too much but I’ve never done anything like this before. Patience needs to be a virtue. I’m antsy.
The Covid pandemic is also holding up items in the mail that I need. But whatevs. Life. Gotta come up with plan B, C, D and revise/update when you can. I’m very spontaneous, what the fuck is patience? Go now! Welp. Not now now though because it feels like Antarctica outside currently. I nearly turned into a Snowman. WTF Florida get it together. My heat is on.
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exposed to you in naked lines I draw from worlds I’ve not made real save for the cosmos of my rhymes a universe of verse revealed read each word on tender lips that they find life beyond this mind the ink-stains on my fingertips made flesh and blood for you to find let each sound […]
I once held him like constellations I ate his ripened fruit full of temptations Like when you are feeling loved in all the locations He was my biggest wonder in all of the nation’s
I was a most avid reader Growing like cedar Never needed a breather Now I am neither
Look at how you carve through precious stone- You go from cherished to disowned!
If this is how you treat what you cherish- Spear the love, see if it will perish?
Cherished muse- You have 20 more to replace for every one you lose!
Let me tell you what you wish; A face you really could cherish!
He can turn water into poison You’ll never know you were chosen He can turn truth into erosion He’s got fire but it is frozen
Don’t call on him to have pity You won’t find any in his city Crossing wires like love is infinity He is guilty
He’s not bold He’d whimper and fold He looks old But that’s the price of cold?
It’s a balancing act Trying to remain intact After privacy is lacked And seeing through any mask
How did all these years come to pass Living hour by hour under glass When did mere living come last Crawling these circles full mask
How many roads of lies were paved When did summer turn to grave Too broken or damned to save “Regret” on tomb engraved
She’s got everything hasn’t she? She has his time, admiration, and money. Still, she’s confused on who to be. Meanwhile, I’m a fish out of water, He doesn’t care if I die or breathe
I got iron steel regret How heavy can it get? I’ll find out yet Weighing every bet
Pinching any nerve left I’ll fail each and every test I’m the very best at less I’m the best at less!!!
I do terrible things For love In everything absent of – I don’t rise above
If only disappointment were a page to turn If dismay were a sunray But I chew on bitterness Bewildered from his poison seed
I pack worry in a suitcase Toss my rainboots in a tree Laced with lies received It’s how I bleed
I sometimes think you are many faces Filling spaces Second bases All these places
You assemble hope in tied up laces Watching over me like the moon in phases Carrying me over trouble through midnight races
Love is like the beginning and end
There will be no headstone No grave From life to dust I’m not okay
Deny me love. I will appeal.
I’ve been berated Words sophisticated Now time is hated Black holes where waited Hours wasted Love is not how it tasted Love is not how it tasted
At 26,000 light-years away, it’s the closest we’ve ever been And if regret is a singularity, it’s finally creeping in
Could fit all I am in a tiny box Cheap, won’t cost a buck Disposable and out of luck And for me, he doesn’t give a fuck
Well thank you for leaving me where I didn’t want to be.
He’s been charged with possession of stolen property.
You can lead a comet through a narrow path Treat darkness like an overpass
Lay down a red carpet full of glass Ask the Sun if it’s okay to bask Precious love is always last
You turn a word into a ton of weight Can make a damaged heart dilate Stop all of hope with an iron gate And take holy love to desecrate
You can lead a comet through a narrow path Make an angel take a dirty bath
I’ve seen the dead rise from the ink you spill Not even god can escape the gravity of your will You dig tunnels just for thrill See how many you can kill
Come to me By frothy sea Shine your light I fancy thee
Red shift, blue shift I don’t give a shit
I’m so much better than that flock of shit you summon Your mouth is the opposite direction I am running Your lies only come by the dozen You can knock but you can’t come in The darkness covers all but it’s my coven You ain’t welcome here again
I’m having trouble facing things Or how the sorrow becomes permanent encasings Though a bullet to the skull wouldn’t phase me A daily crucifixion, the only life I’m facing
You’re cruel Using me as your fuel You’re not my tool
I drink from the carton And I never show my enemy just how I’m hurtin’ I draw the curtain And if you catch me taking a nap Are you for certain?
I’m a rib from your side A curse like Dracula’s bride Or Bonnie and Clyde I drink your love like cyanide Mixed with hope and rhyme
Cut the cord yes I certainly did Filled my home with darkness so thick I hid Over valleys of crying I skid
Death and chaos is order Loving him made me older Even a glowing moon can’t comfort the way you smother You’re a terrible lover Always lying under cover You don’t love her You have only mind to wonder Less a heart just feet with thunder Get going you monster
Well, how much more dead can you get?
I don’t know what it’s like to be desired If I had purpose it’s now expired My wings expand but heart is tired Tell me what in life is required?
Why does my love always cause destructive tidal waves?
Did you know mountains were resting on your shoulder named envy? You let me crash on your soul in frenzy I’m dizzy Did you not need me?
Did you know moons were glowing with envy? Heartache cost not a penny But I got plenty If you need any?
Gone But left my heart to disassemble on its own I left it rotting on your throne Caring too much for desensitized bone Lust your carried tomb I’d rather be alone Direction unknown
Got dressed up all like I had no where to goes- But I did and I do, I have people to impose
There are parts of me that are dying Fragile cells multiplying Swamps forming from lying Weeping willows heard crying
Edges of time his mind I go missing every time His rhyme Holding me to crime His line Wishing on a dime
Sometimes, I climb into the ether where we met Heaven is risky but I took the step You feel like eternity in an instance Gotta keep our distance
Every day there’s some new tragic fate with you.
Evolve or repeat.
Why hold on to something when all our sums have failed Why give me any hope when there’s holes within my sails
I fell in love with a monster Spying on ways he would watch her Twisting and burning for answer Changing moments to cancer
I can smell the lie on his tongue I can see the tar clear in his lung I know every direction he’s coming from I know evil is where he sprung
I can see his shadow hanging low Like a spider crawling slow He’s not here to help you grow A web of lust his afterglow
He brings you presents wrapped as lies When dressed as shame he’ll change devise To maintain charm he’ll risk goodbyes
God they’re all the same Using lies to earn your trust We’re just a game You think you know their name Then learn the truth now you’re to blame
God says I can’t save them all- Focus on the stars, I know about the stars So I’m on my knees, I wallow in these scars
God says, watch how the colors bleed- How it’s flowing free We’re only allowed pockets of energy
Stop serving good vibes to those deserving of goodbyes
If only there were a fence that lead me to your green pastures. Or if love were the grandest gestures.
Would it cease our need of treasures? And increase in heart our pleasures?
I’m hanging onto life with all I have left And you I’m clinging to with every single breath
He grew obsessed after every loss The thing he loved, became his cross Still over mountains, he gave it all And how he sweat, she never saw
From the top, to the bottom, to rising again Deserted deserts, losing treasures, our feet have been Over powered, over run, still fit to win The trouble with hope, it burrows under your skin
How can heaven weigh this? Are you not why heaven fell?
How many lies are you leading The light receding And was I ever in your field of needing? How many lives proceeding
How wave after wave pummeled Darkness fully tunneled
I don’t want to be known for the wars I fought – Or the hate I taught
I don’t belong here With the putrid Though the dead more alive
I bit more than I can chew I am stupid Got the devil in my crew
I invited evil to dance Then got muted The devil in a trance
I see through mask like a pattern Deeply rooted Though in the dark he was my lantern
He has to be very careful Of who, of what, of when, of why Every step he makes is sterile Of love, of care, of hope, or I
I am replaceable A traveler straight to erasable He is obsessed with her And her and her But me it’s always never
I can handle extreme pressure under fire But put me in the cold and I will expire
I’M CREATING NUDE PHOTOGRAPHY, VIDEOGRAPHY, COSPLAY, AND ADULT STORIES ON MY ONLYFANS! WWW.ONLYFANS.COM/POEETERNALShameless self-promotion. I’m planning a special shoot!
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I don’t mind that I’m a bit dirty lol. To be fair, the potato is my favorite vegetable. I am a special spud growing in his existence. Am I the root of all evil? 😀😏😆
Our garden of the damned?
*laughs insanely*
Damn, now I want some mashed potatoes. Or chips. Fries. Twiced baked. Salad. Soup. GIVEMAH!!
In other news, I live in an apartment complex that sounds like a war zone and I need to move. Anxieties.
I’ve been seriously busy planning a cool photoshoot so I hope things go according to plans. They rarely do! So I don’t want to give anything away yet. But, as things progress, you know, updates. I haz secrets!! 😍
Have you ever fed on hope The way you spoon it to me in soft crescent words I’ve seen your shadow dancing in twilight I wake for your golden hour Any hour Melting into sunrises You lower heaven on my shoulder So I can skip through its halls and miss prayer Watch how my hope crosses dimensions to find you resting at my feet We are nesting on a great divide Where dreams are real life Hearts a multiverse Parts of my soul where you left claw marks Sacred holy landmarks I pray to you
He was atomic A void not peaceful Though wasn’t static But like lightning falling He was enigmatic Though loving him Proved problematic
She was barren A desert without form So tired of caring Or like a planet roiling Could hear her swearing And if you caught a glimpse Her wing was wearing
First off, if you haven’t seen the film High Life, you should. I had a love-hate relationship with it when I watched it a few months ago, but it was one of those movies I had to watch again and again. And the end credit song sung by actor Robert Pattinson is sublime. I think it’s safe for you to at least listen to the song if you haven’t seen the film (or ever want to).
That movie is so bizarre I really don’t think the song will give anything away. Since the lyrics were freestyle, I wrote my poem freestyle as well. Can’t escape the rhyme tho. Welp.
When writing my version, I tried to keep with the same theme of the film for the most part. I’m big into sci-fi. 👍
You can watch/listen to the original theatrical song sung by Pattinson here.
So, my prompt was the film and music. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything like this before (prompts). But I’ve wanted to. So alas, my version… 👇
Willow, where are you rushing now? Willow, where are you rushing now?
Over broken glass, through the blasphemy, Do you follow it downstream? What’s reality?
Willow, do you feel no pain? Willow, are you still hiding shame?
In the hollow light, past infinity, do you think of me?
Willow, are you stretching my dream? Willow, am I what I seem?
When I’ve lost defense, and there’s hopelessness, is there nothing real? Are we moving still? Is there destiny?
Willow, how can you stand the night? Willow, can you feel what’s right?
Completely inspired by the song “Willow” from the film ‘High Life’.
Photo by @poeeternal (I went to the beach yesterday, gonna be dropping some beautiful photography on my Patreon campaign – photography my patrons can use for their own blogs and projects). Grateful for my patrons!
More poetry coming, so I’m about to blow up the WordPress feed over the next few days, with multiple postings in a day, so you may need to check my actual blog to not miss a feed (unless you have the notifications set on).
Also, if you sign up to my blog via email, that will keep you from missing any posts and you will never have any advertisements delivered because I’m running my blog advertisement free. Your support on my Patreon allows me to run my blog free from advertisements or spam. I thank you.
I once tried to maintain some sort of theme and posting order but my life is chaos currently.
I’m on edge. Welp.
Uhm the Grinch has arrived. Eggnog now please. (I don’t actually have any eggnog but it would be nice).
Please sail me out to eternity on your word You said no one would listen but I heard Death may be approaching but soul stirred I’d give it all for just a third Please let me feel where life occurred
He said, they really never spoke Still galaxies were forming from words they wrote Feathers were pluming where islands were looming And oceans were filling where she woke
He said, his life was but a cloak Still volcanoes were smoking where they mope Mountains were pulling, where islands were cooling And it took all he had to give her hope
He said, life is but a joke Still clouds were crying where she broke Skies filled with lightning, where stars were aligning And around her head was love instead of rope
He said, nothing could help him cope Still ink was spilling on pages they soak Earth was evolving, where love was revolving And his hand was the only hand she’d grope
How will you remember me when I’m 13 billion light-years from you? Look at all the darkness I’m peering through. Now the light is fleeing too. The great expanse of all you do.
The pandemic is getting worse. So too my depression, hopelessness, anxiety, isolation, paranoia. Got the psyche on redial. Just gonna keep writing. Dying. Feel every fucking second like a cross.
This is where our world’s collide You the sun and I the tide This is why we fail goodbye You the earth and I its bride This is why fate complied I took root in your sky This is how heaven sighed
Does he know the keys of the kingdom is within her? Every hour the sun is growing dimmer. Pouring every atom from his chest, love is thinner. Burning any chance of hope, death’s a winner.
Does she hold light like a moon because there’s a glimmer? Does love keep her on her knees praying for he’s a sinner? The blood that’s leaking from his chalice it spells a killer. If lying were monumental he takes the pillar.
Err, I probably should wait 24 hours in-between posting, but like I’ve got so much to say and so little time. I’ve got to lay it all on the line. Cut my tongue out, I’d still write you rhyme.
It’s finally cold enough in Florida for winter hats. (I’ll make any excuse to wear a hat, sometimes 3 at a time. I iz weirdo).
Our love is science fiction I wrap your love around my vein It’s called addiction Still the power you contain I’ve got affliction But I love you all the same So I keep wishing On stars I knew your real name And I keep itching In places where you came A crucifixion But I lie and call it rain A contradiction When the truth makes my soul wane
You’ve got a scowl that drains the mood out of a moon Still the stars will wander, hoping to see you soon You’ve got a hundred million ways, to make the clouds swoon You exhale and turn continents into doom
Still blown away. I’m into nature. There are people who care not one bit for the moon or any natural wonder. Let alone a rainbow.
Me on the other hand. I turn into a little girl. That’s because I never grew up. Not gonna.
I still think it was my dad telling me goodbye. I just didn’t know he had passed until an hour later (if).
LIFELINES.
(Better than becoming fish bait. I gotta get back to writing. Yelled at the mom and therapist).
Really itching to pick up my guitar tho.
The CDC says the pandemic is getting worse.
My depression is getting worse.
And asteroid Apophis is on like 2 or 3 return trips back to us.
Uhm, we’re 2000 lightyears closer to the center of a blackhole.
Politics give me hellof anxiety.
Somethings wrong with the world, am I the only one to feel it?
I gotta quit reading the news.
Paranoia.
Uhm, my hairs is getting ridiculously long. Down or up it’s in the way. 😏Fine silks homegrown from my skull. I can’t wait to start updating my wardrobe. Get photos n vids. More tattoos n piercings. Make cool cosplay. Wanna sell my computer and get a laptop. A better phone n camera. New editing software. Updates. 2021 = year of transformation. Not sure how to pull off the tattoos and piercings if the economy is still closed but everything else is doable. I’m desperate for my makeover from Soldier and businesswoman to me. My Jeep needs a little TLC too. Gonna share it all. Thanks for seeing me while I’m alive. And supporting me while I’m alive. That gives me feel good vibes. =)
Trying not to die from depression or be dead for days before anyone knows. I still don’t know about my dad so I’m treading the earth lightly. I’m here but I’m not. Dig? 😭😭😭
Thanks for checking out my blog and supporting indie artists! I’m on the Patreon and OnlyFans. I appreciate the support. Starving artist and all (so was Edgar Allan Poe, yo). 👀
Why do you block the tide from receding? Was it not the love you were needing? Did creatures not evolve from the bleeding? Every hour you appeared for the feeding?
Why do you not place repentance on my altar? Why am I barely head above water? Feeling my existence ever growing smaller You want her to feel taller?
How does he manage to find me in his thoughts? But then it makes me wonder how many dreams he has to cross? When burning down his bridges does he ever feel a loss? And when he’s out there wandering, is it me he’ll come across?
How many deserts will it take him to push me in Earth’s past? But then it makes me wonder how long it ever lasts? Been cutting ties so long our dreams have come to pass? And I swore I heard hope’s echo but it flew by life too fast…
How many bridges will you burn to keep my dreams from you? And will you ever learn, I’ll still find you when you do? Is that why you’ll likely, leave a clue or two? And when I’ve disappeared, does it leave you feeling blue?
Rhyme was a skill I picked up as a little girl to help battle me woes. And so it goes…
Survival skills. But also the art of language. Afflictions. Secret messages to my love? Poetry is code. Vibrations. Another form of energy. A path for my hope to flow.
“No hope = no fear”
PostScript. I’m not really here. I’m not really there. I’m not really anywhere.
But my last breath will be a half-written rhyme. Maybe in blood. Give it time.
…it’s a day of hauntings and heartbreak and loss, and maybe just missing things that you never had (but were close enough to hold on and never let go)… …the theme of the poems I’ve been reading on people’s blogs seem to reflect this ‘strange day’ mood…
Sometimes I wonder if I peered into Pandora’s box or if I am Pandora’s box. Uhm, my eyes bleed.
The fall from heaven is a terribly long one. Helps.
My cousin makes chocolate – she has a business she started up but it’s local to her only. But she sent me a box for Thanksgiving. It’s still hot as hell in Florida so she was worried about sending me chocolate afraid it would melt. She put a little cool pack in it and it arrived safely and I made a little video! I’m obsessed with chocolate, FYI. Hook me up with an IV please. 😜They are delish! She has a gorgeous little set-up when she does local events. This is just a little chocolate selfie. Is that a thing? 😊The names of the chocolates she made. I have a few left. Been trying to ration. May get more for XMAS now that we know they’ll arrive safely. I normally only get bills in the mail so I love receiving snail mail especially arts and food. 😍My energy levels have been so low but I’m working in my studio today recording spoken word for my Patreon. About to hit up the Starbucks though because she also sent me a gift card and that coffee will be great today. Need that extra kick! 👊
Despite being tired, I wrote this poem this morning before I even brushed my teeth. Lazy has never been in my resume. Off to Starbucks – then recording in my studio!
I hope you all are having a fantastic holiday and getting some love out there!
Thanks for checking out my work and for supporting independent artists! 😊
Do you think if silence had a sound, it would sound like my heartbeat next to yours? Gently crashing on your soul like frothy shores? Per chance the knocking were only open doors? Would it end our wars?
I was going to write a non rhyme and then 5 seconds later this poem was born. Light-speeds!
Spiraling into nothingness like a cocoon
Elite. I live and breathe this shite. Eh, addictions. What can you do? The madness is the cure. I’ll eventually get another non-rhyme out of me. I’ve been trying to pull that bitch out!! Just don’t rhyme. Simple. Right? Eh, no. Not at all. 😣😑😮😣😏🙄
*pen to vein* *inject all the feels* *euphoric* Oooh me wrotes another rhyme!!! It just fell out! Am I allowed to sometimes like the stuff that I write? Cuz this gave me a sweet tooth. You? 😍
I’ll get him to love me with curses and incantations 💔Tell me
Thanks for checking out my work and for supporting indie artists! 💋
What are your words if hollow and brittle? What becomes of care when you show so little? Then remove the lie from the middle- Watch your honor fade and dwindle?
It’s time integrity took a stand Purity is the only thing I’ve got in hand I fell for your ruse, you’re just the better man? But I can promise, it won’t happen again…
I’ve learned that love is simply a myth And if you have a name, let’s call you Judas Deception is every kiss And betrayal, it’s written on your fist…
There are signs posted with moss covering Empty bottles where the devil is recovering Dirty feathers all around in piles cluttering And care is a word I hear you keep uttering
There are scabs where blood is spluttering No cover for my mouth we are discovering Though secrets are a map I’m not uncovering And love is the only thing left hovering
How is it your heart has come to know softness? Do oceans not turn to desert when I frown? How are you able to turn eternity into a sound? For when you speak I am bound. Where you are breathing, I am found. Why do you park heaven on a hill? I can feel you pushing on me still. I come undone so you can feel. Though you won’t let my blood spill. Collecting every single quill. You move at free will.
The lie it grew and grew and grew I knew I fell from heaven on the truth Got stuck like glue On every lie because of you Oh, it hurts so much too From empty bottle to fully blue Hell mistook me for a fool
Your prayer dropped a clue You envy youth Now away it flew Leaving you with tooth How they accrue Still every mask I cut through It’s time I withdrew
Spent the night soiling the earth with tears begging the almighty to let me see what I need so I could be free. Didn’t understand the lesson that be. Crying to God, you can lead a demon to holy water, but you cannot make him drink!!!
Nearly drowning from all that makes me bleed. Suffocating on the very air that we breathe. He gave me new eyes to see. Your soul is empty. God cut me free (now whose lying).
The truth hurts worse than the lieTelling lies to myself. That’s not you. It’s someone else. It’s his brother. I’m crazy! Seeing what I wanna! I seem to like you no matter who you are. Which makes me not like you very much!! 😭😰😭I wish I could believe my own lie when I say I don’t love you.The truth hurts worse than the lie. Oh, God forgive me! I still love you, I do! 💔Cursed like Mina Tepes to always love you. 💔
Sidenote: I’ve been in some sort of weird rhyme scheme where I limit my vocabulary even more than I normally do when rhyming. I don’t rhyme just to rhyme, that’s where people fall flat. There’s probably a name for what I’m doing but brain damage. Losing my mind. I see way more than I want to see with my third eye and I’ve never been so fucking depressed or lonely in my life and it’s not that I don’t like my own company because I do – that’s why I’m isolated. I’m growing ever more suicidal and out of fucks to give. But doing the rhyme scheme like I did above, that shit is hard, yo.
I was also at a place where I was worried about using the same words that I had already used before and then I decided to just let that go.
I’ll probably be jumping off the Eiffel fucking Tower reciting some last words you know. Eh. CR CR CRAZZZY out of fucks to give.
Words are the only thing left holding me together.
Oh, you thought that was just a line?
The only thing I’m staying alive for at this point is the Matrix 4. And maybe another hug from Gavin Rossdale cuz he’s like my fountain of youth. I sniffed his neck once, I’m so fucking weird!!!! I think I wanted a bite 😩
I’m sure he’d like that but not while he’s singing to thousands of people!
Then again, this is me. I could get away with murder just with my smile. 😊
I am 1000% insane crazy because I’m literally in love with dracul even tho he’s a fucking monster. Rip my fucking heart out. At least Mina got laid!!!!! She died by suicide, FYI!!!
SHE WAS REAL!!!! *laughs insanely*
Dracul is still very much feared in his land. I wanted to get married in Transylvania or there about.
Love isn’t real, is it? You never really loved me.
None of you were worth it You made me worthless Able to love less Daily a failed test Deserving a holed chest A bullet not a vest Time to give it a rest Suicide at its best
My best friend had the right idea putting a 357 Magnum gun to her head and blasting a bullet through her brain ending her precious litte life before age 14.
I don’t know why I stuck around this long lying to myself pretending things would get better. They have not.
My best friend’s mom later hung herself on a fucking rope at like age 46 and I’m not far from it.
Edgar Allan Poe couldn’t live without love either and died on the fucking street naked, unknown, poor, fucking broke, and heartbroke. I dare say he was depressed too and I’m officially diagnosing Edgar Allan Poe as depressed. People haven’t got much better. BEASTS in CARDIGAN. Some without a backbone or spine. That’s why they can easily replace you on a dime they’re empty and soulless.
Suicidal and out of fucks to give.
Too much gaslighting and narcissism in the world. No love or nurturing coming in.
The sheeple over run.
I WANT OUT. LET ME OUT
*free yer mind* *okie dokie* *if you die in the Matrix you die in the real world* *jumps from bridge*
Gone But left my heart to disassemble on its own I left it rotting on your throne Caring too much for desensitized bone Lust your tomb or home I’d rather be alone Direction unknown
He watches me
The way time moves over my feet
My doors opening and closing
Peering into the window of all I am exposing
Playing tug-of-war with hearts decomposing
My third eye all-knowing
He watches you
Catching me in view
And what we do
We’re split in truth
Well, who knew?
I guess he loves me too 💕
To be honest, I’m still a tiny microorganism. Compared to my love for you. Like all the dark matter in the universe, it just grew. Space equals truth. 💕
I love you. I hate you tug-of-war
I’m staying. I’m leaving tug-of-war
I’m empty. You’re in me tug-of-war
I’m pulling. You’re tugging tug-of-war
I’m sorry I’m mean to you. I don’t want to cry anymore. Don’t retaliate. 😭😭😭
You hold me on your back the way earth holds all creation Changing earthquakes to calm lakes Sunrise to reason I’m freestyling steps while doubling the stakes Love is cold but still in season Dancing over simmering aches You’re stepping over treason Bleeding to stay awake Though love is like a beacon I’m all in- whatever it takes Because you’re all I’m ever needing
Tell me, are you all in? Fold? If it keeps on raining/ the levee’s going to break 🎵🎶🎵If it keeps on raining/ the levee’s going to break 🎵🎶🎵Holding onto youth with all that I am. A pure soul. No greys yet!!!! You gonna raise yer bet????
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Me no filter, worry lines, messy makeups, freckles, no bullshit. I smoke on the occasion. Should I buzz my side again? Might go have a smoke now. Think I still got the same pack I found months ago in the freezer. The Army taught me to ration and I’ve been poor lmao. Finding an entire, near full pack of Newport menthol was definitely a sign from heaven. Or hell? 🤔
Opened up my eyes, had a follow request, saw a post on binary code, and wallah. Poem. I apparently still love him in between the endless BLOCKING and UNBLOCKING that I do. I’m sorrys! 😭
I’m dying for his touch. Don’t even really know who he is, I just know he’s my entire fucking world and existence.
And I need him so much my mind will turn complete strangers into him.
Just because I can’t see him doesn’t mean he’s not around.
Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean I’m not being followed.
I fall so deep into the earth Unable to show you just how much you are worth I become the very thing I curse And then I can’t stop the hurt
A runaway greenhouse effect Mirroring the very thing I deject Or hoping for any way to connect A sinking Titanic from gorgeous to wrecked
Now I am laying on your ocean floor With torn lace and silver but still rather poor I’ve decorated disaster with devilish decor Burned out, unmarried, but nothing much more
Mumbo jumbo for the one below. Sign post reads: Stop here
I don’t mean to hurt you. 😭😭😭
I don’t know why I hurt you. 😭😭😭
I don’t want to hurt you. 😭😭😭
I’m just a sinking man trying to make you drown with me. 😭😭😭
A drowning man is the most dangerous. 😭😭😭
I’m no good. 😭😭😭
You should just let me drown. 😭😭😭
*watches him drop a bottle while putting scuba gear on*
*catches bottle in the water*
*reads message in a bottle*
*cries* 😭😭😭
Photos by @poeeternalI deserve to drown in the bottom of the sea. I love you. 😭
I know I’m a toxic little fuck. I know I make it impossible to be friends. I wish I knew how to fix me. I’m brokens. 😭😭😭
I’ve decorated disaster with devilish decor
Psst I like the thing you did in your last poem. I know it’s called a thing but I can’t think what it’s called. I like doing it too (but you do everything better). I like you.
“I like you too”. But, I like you alot. “I like you alot too”. Okay, well maybe I like you more than alot. Like the whole pie alot, not just a slice. I like you whole” (the weird conversation we’d be having right now if you allowed me to talk to you). Because I iz stewpids and you iz smartz.
I don’t deserve your help. Let me die. 😭
Maybe I’d be more stable if you were really around. I’m scared. 😭
(Do you reckon Edgar Allan Poe ran off of any of his wives suitors with a shotgun? I mean, he wasn’t very popular. The local press even stopped publishing his work. He went from a respected officer in the military, to poor, dead, and naked on the street and possibly poisoned, and heartbrokes).
I don’t want to die heartbrokes. Helps. 😭
Sometimes I run off your suitors with my mouth. 😭
Psst did you know my love keeps growing for you? I am a deep, wide ocean. Keep swimming. I’m yours, forevermore. xoxo (times infinity^2)
No matter how many times I slam closed the doors of communication He’ll be on the other side waiting Anticipating apology and thorough aching My overall frustration for misbehaving
His back my entire foundation My heart his home base station Tossing apologies in the fire for cremation I’m his favorite creation
My OnlyFans account deletion has been stopped, as I’ve decided to stay there. I’m not sure when people will be able to re-subscribe again (it’s pending reactivation) but I know you can follow me there until. And thank you for your patience with me as I grow as a writer and artist. And human being overall. 🙂
He knows I’m sorry. But I don’t know if I could ever face him and say it. And if I ever did find the courage to face him again and say it, he’d just throw it away immediately.
So the good news is he didn’t block me. He still doesn’t know I exist. Like one of them soldiers standing guard for the queen. Solid as stone. Hardened? Hates me? Maybe I’m just the ghost haunting him. Oh noes, helps. *sobs* 😭😭😭
Uhm, thanks for still finding value in me even though I can be a depressed, emo, isolated little bitch, who pushes everyone away and crucifies the one I love the most.
I’m deeply sorry. But I don’t know how to say it anymore. There’s a good chance it’ll happen again but that doesn’t mean I’m not sorrys.
The person responsible for the stones and sacrifices. Blood vials and hungry vices. Wrong directions cost ultimate prices. Smiling. Our safest lying devices. The sanity will drive you insane. Thanks for another lesson daddy Poe.
It’s a weird place to be Not with, not without But if you drift into the big sleep I would stop existing It’s without a doubt Like leaving the galaxy I couldn’t breathe So I shout How could you leave? Abandon me? You’re all I need
I love you in any realm, all over Earth, and this town. When I’m up or down, sideways, or stuck in a frown. From east to north, and all around. From the dawn of creation, down to your noun. You overwhelm. But I am bound. Circling and circle proud. Pulling eights from the cloud. I say it loud. Unroll it, light the ground. For life is better, where you are found.
If only forgiveness were easy asked and demons were sleeping
How many ways can you spell I love you? Are you tired of hearing it yet? Does the universe give you any signs? Are you awake, are you alive? Are you listening?
I’m on the Patreon! Appreciate the support, it helps keep this blog running and advertisement free (I hate spam) and you get exclusive writing over there plus photography perks you can use for your own projects! I also record spoken word professionally! I have more than 1 tier to choose from or pledge your own amount! Thanks to my current patrons, I’m so grateful for the support! www.patreon.com/poeeternal
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