I don’t want to leave
So he puts poison on the spoon
I have a heart to grieve
I hope it fails me soon

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Going in for dose 2 of Moderna today against my better judgment. Dose 1 made my blood pressure drop really low, my heart has been struggling to pump blood throughout my body (why I’ve been feeling so cold) because my heart is struggling to circulate (it’s only caring about my main organs) – oh wait – not dying yet. Or am I? 🤔

Not gonna lie, I’m freaking out in the most calm way. Through crying. More stress my petite heart does not need.

I’m scared.

I’m alone.

All alone.

Gonna die naked on the street outta pure madness.

I’m losing me mind.

And my heart is weak.

I just wanted to be somebody’s favorite just once in my life.

I wanted to feel wanted and loved.

I don’t and never have.

Because I’m not anybody’s favorite.

I only have my therapist to confide in.

3 responses to “Leaving”

  1. According to the CDC and most anyone I’ve spoke with who completed Moderna, have said the 2nd shot is worse. In the bathroom- on the toilet- stripping your clothes off worse. Doubt there will be any leisurely pleasure. And I’ve been working extremely hard so when I do finally take a rest, it’s not gonna be during Covid. I’m hoping I can travel to a gig. So that’s my invisible carrot or my incentive to complete dose two despite the medical risks involved. Thank you for the best wishes, I’m gonna need them! 🤢🤕🤤

    Liked by 1 person

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