Meet Daisy

Store said she’d been there the longest – adopted and returned

They said she likes to bite



Charlie already wants to extend the family

I told Charlie it might not be best knocking Daisy up her first night here

Not to mention the HABs aren’t even completed

I was going in for substrate and saw that sign for “50% off”

They said eventually it’d be reduced even further – to 75% and then well… she goes one more place and tries one more time (where surely she will bite and their number one rule for biting is “put down”)

It saddens me this society – this lifestyle of bartering one another at what cost

There was another girl that was born there – i really wanted her – she had a cow-like print

I NEED LAND

And a shed

I don’t care what the influencers think

“…this is animal abuse”

But mine are sleeping peacefully in their chaotic HAB

(HAB is short for habitat for those who don’t know)

They also get me as their caretaker and no one on TikTok seems to get that

I told Daisy today that the family returned her because she didn’t belong with them, she belonged here

I’m scared of Daisy

But she let’s me handle her, has not bit me, and has stopped squealing like a squeaky toy when I pick her up

She also allows me to segregate Charlie even tho she runs after him

It’s new to her

Probably hurts

She knows she wants it but she don’t

And Charlie be down there doing things that should be behind closed doors

But she could rip his head off when she is thru

And that’s the reality of adopting two Syrian hamsters from different stores

Male and female

Of breeding age

It’s almost like I needed enrichment in my life

Trying to keep two hamsters from killing one another or falling in-love

They said she was spicy so I named her after a sweet flower


Daisy seems to have already taken to her name

She knows not to bite me….

She’s learning her new HABs

She’s met Charlie 4 times – and he was ready to extend the family right away

They have been grooming one another

Licking and sniffing

Lots of face-to-face stare offs

Nose touches

Could be love or war


She’s not as fit? It was her first time on a 10 inch or 8 inch wheel. They had a saucer at the store

Prob used it to lay on


Charlie has a friend now but she could be a killer so I won’t leave them alone



I know I shouldn’t be buying hamsters while dying and not even having the correct HAB setup

But now my life has purpose

Can’t move into my Noah phase if the ark is empty

Back to the basics

They say I am a child that never grew up

So I got a hammy

Logical

(And I know you love me even more)

(But you don’t know why)

(Cuz you fucking hate me and will never speak again)


Charlie and Daisy sitting on a tree

K-I-S-S-I-N-G


They kinda have our first name initials

Just realized

Awe


To be adopted…

On the wait list

Met today

Was showing off…

(Also have a newborn black bear on hold but I wasn’t planning on getting two)


Of course – it may not be the BEST IDEA to take on a little creature in my condition but

I’ve been wanting to adopt a hamster for months

Some pet adoption agencies also have adult hamsters but i’m going the petstore route


Went in for a black bear but this little guy won my heart

He also has a sister but they cannot be adopted together because he would hurt her

And I almost want her instead


It’s almost like she knew I was taking her brother and she also liked my bb voice so she came out and was very shy but made herself noticable

They had dividers up for the bro/sis cuz they are mating age

The black bears are newborn

One kept running ontop of the other so I said they should prob be adopted together

All 3 black bear were still together

But I drove home and considered thangs

Called the store

They have the male sable and 1 black bear hamster on hold

I don’t know if I should get 1 let alone two


The sister….

She’s up for adoption (not on hold)


I’d take them all if I could

But I barely can take care of myself?


But it made me feel alive – the thought of having a little friend

That will live 2-4 years

So if I did die the Godfather would not need to care for the little creature long?

I don’t have a godmother yet

So you gotta be the baby daddy

Sorry not sorry

Leaving the hamster/s to you in the will


I’m not well and I told my dog I would never get another dog again

Probably



This den is good for two even tho I may get one but probably should get none


Kaya said to get a rabbit. Rabbits are great but prob not allowed.

A hamster is what I have been pondering for too long.

I may only have 2-4 years left so I need to act now.

Even the act of getting out was trying

I mean some places do deliver live animals

I’m sleeping on the decision has been made


I may name him Charlie and if I do get a mini black bear he’s prob gonna be named Black Bear

“This is Black Bear”

“He’s a black bear hamster”

He’s pretty special already

But I can get a she black bear cuz they ain’t siblings m’kay

She might be a she but he is a he (the sable hamster)

U DIG?


Meet Charlie? He’s on hold to be adopted (by me)


Everlast (p∞)

everything you do
like paving roads for two
an I Love You impromptu
golden is the hue

you could show up in a mask
you know i would never ask
about the forecast
when it’s raining everlast


Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.


one day there’s going to be a Great Battle

we may not be here to see it but the monsters will go down

we just have to be a ghost in the machine

never tell them your next move

the whole world could off itself and there would be only us and i’d drop my sword

so i failed the game?

went after the devil’s head but caved?

“i love you too much”

“to condemn you”

“for all eternity”


I choose love


*arrives to heaven*

ask first question: “i get a plus one?”

*mumbles* kinda brought the Devil back…

*tosses head and heart at Heaven’s door*

HEAVEN’S DOOR would make a great bar name – one of them you need to know a code word and pay an annual fee to enter

lined with red velvet walls and seats

wooden seating with carvings

a poetry corner

a coffee bar

i’m just thinking out loud

i still want my neighbor to marry me and fill all the holes inside


the woods (p∞)

not out of the neck of the woods
yet…
you said under woven stars
mixed with metaphors and scars
you wouldn’t be far –
but i’d never ever reach you
heaven is beneath you
like a glass jar mixed with marbles and gold bars
you see everything that i do
upside down entangled view
dolls and stars now old guards


Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved. (p∞)


No filter (i sat in the sun too long too many times but not enough)

filter

filter

postscript?

my return has been sent!
didn’t cost you a cent!


i dunno why. been wanting to do same word rhyme – same word but not…


he is trying to make it to 13 but some days i’m not sure he’ll make it through the day


heavy (freestyle)

his words fall on me, so heavily, i cracked my bones on the pavement
and now there’s worry and little pieces of flesh lying dimensional to his regret

if i put up a sign “all is well” he will leave graffiti in places my heart should be

i sometimes awaken and wonder if my dreams were tucked away in his journal hidden, locked behind a key of code, with my image used as his anti-phishing security measure, as even i seem locked out of my own reality, at times

i am lost and he is the great gatekeeper of my maps and journeys

sometimes my voice bounces off his walls and forms new hells

i watch people gather in his mirrors conducting praise, they don’t see his ghostly shadow stalking

i wonder if they can see the moon? harvesting the cold fury solitude?

perhaps we all have sins to account for

the way i tiptoe over life, looking back at the god awful mistakes i have made

packing up accountability, until it collapses in on itself, forming a blackhole

and there in the center, you will find us.

that’s the only goTdamn place we can meet in the whole galaxy.

it’s no wonder i’ve grown accustomed to jumping into the deepest, darkest holes

i can remember his face there

if i claw, his flesh will bleed

there i can feel something

it’s almost like i’m alive

Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.


you weigh a ton in my heart

Sinkholes

This is how sinkholes form
Faith dissolved
My guess lukewarm
Your hate involved

A lake of drought
Swales and sorrow
No way throughout
Hell’s here tomorrow

Copyright © 2023 Delia Ross / @poeeternal. All rights reserved.


Thanks for checking out my blog & socials: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal


(No filter and lost followers after posting)

P.S. got a new 4k TV today & ordered a ps5 which shall be ready for pickup in a few days! Birthday pressies! 🥳


Eat (poetry)

I could eat contempt / wrap it with lament / file it tax exempt / yell “god damnit” / my brain will forget / I haven’t cared yet \ 

Searching for you in typeface / underlines / and heartbreak / happiness is our stake / a gamble we should take \ 

A thousand miles from nowhere / I want to go there / ask God there’s hope where \ 

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.

The Answer (thoughts out loud)

I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND – is going to be my answer for everything

*arrives at heaven’s headquarters

“Did you experience joy”

I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND

*at the local hitler hospital deathcamps

“Are you feeling suicidal or homicidal today”

I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND

*at the local coffee shop

“Would you like cream with that”

I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND

The MRI doc saw me at my worse and noted it wasn’t self-image

After I scolded him for scolding me for making him late for his next appointment with his prostitute (I mean “patient”)

I scolded him for me “not being marriage material” – so I wasn’t worried about making him late

When I don’t even have a husband to go home to…

Caught him trying not to look as I was leaving

All 111 pounds pending surgery (I’m likely not going to get)

I’m gonna start juicing and doing a hardcore regime

When researching, one person beat the odds – but she also had people bringing her vegetables and fruits to encourage her – it took a village – not just her own pocketbook.

Ain’t nobody knocking on my door bringing soup – let alone fresh herbs to juice with so not to die.

I’m getting death threats

(But my doctors do encourage me to stay alive – the male ones anyway)

The females can piss off – they aren’t as smart or empathetic – I hate being under THEIR CARE

HELPS


P.S. don’t try to maintain a schedule – if I pick up on that – I will intentionally make you late lose time/money with the prostitute

I will pick up on it

And now any time he drives to a prostitute, “not marriage material she said”

Some of y’alls addiction’s are costing us

I’m out for revenge

Gonna make you late now everywhere – everyone – everybody

That’s my level of petty

You wanna call the cops on me? Giddyup!

You hate scheduling appointments? Awe. Shame you were such a bitch I’m missing all my classes.

Self help books exist and I can read and do not need a librarian to check out – we got the self checkout system – for once – I can pass go and not pay $200 or look at your face ever again.

The cop likes me there, he gets my sweet side.

Maybe he’s my future hubby

YOU NEVER KNOW

“You that girl I see at the library”

“Yea”

“Why you having the law called on you”

I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND


I Do Not Sleep (freestyle rhyme)

I do not sleep in a rose-painted bed
With doves above my crown
I’ve got sorrow lying around
Like pillows drifting below

I do not sleep in a rose-painted bed
Where dreams assemble and grow
The visions of yesteryear
Left me somewhere dead

© Delia Ross. 2023 / @poeeternal

Postscript: Free speech below

What does it mean when shadows in your mirror appear?

Yeah, I can’t fucking sleep…

I’ve reached a new level of insanity

Please, not the streets.

There it is again!

Am I dying!?!? 😫

I mean, the poem turned out okay though?

God only made me average but I try and do it so well…

I fuck everything up, that’s a give

I want a rose-painted bed

I want a night of rest…

I want in his arms – I want to be valuable enough to be in the same room with a man – and not want to murder one another or break bonds

I’ve never imprinted

Feeling worthless is the baseline of depression

Study Finds Men Want Love With Prostitutes

Are Men Looking For Love With Prostitutes?
— Read on www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/08/13/relationships-men-fall-in-love-with-prostitutes_n_1772680.html


It’s all been conditioning – these men have been buying sex since children

And now children can see and buy sex toys – toys aren’t behind a black curtain….

The Devil’s society…

Give it time, LGBT will have an orgy in the street.

Porn has ruined man

They fall in love with an idea – and the porn industry repeats the same story throughout years – with all sex workers.

They need the girls in the pictures so much that they use “commoners” as fleshlights

“No one knows why” – ahem bullshite it’s porn

Porn segregates us from unity, imprinting

Well – these boys are exposed to porn at a very young age and it imprints on them.

And image is important to them – gaslighting – so the Church offers a safe haven for these demons – who want us paying for their housing and meals.

They disassociate when they use porn so it’s like they become a completely different person and that’s why there’s no remorse when they do the shit that they do to you

They have an addiction created by the enemy to break up the traditional family value home – all while the immigrants take throne during “yellow fever”

Suicide is a top leading cause of death worldwide

Porn is the gateway drug to ruin

It could be easily censored like they do my free-speech

All the little commoners who get on onlyfans, they just use us up like they do in the real world 

Most anyway

OnlyFans say most users loose out – it’s only the top folks with value (society is the Titanic)

They steal money from users too

And as much as I love blogging, I don’t want to continue paying the enemy

Pay to play

I’d rather die than give the state another penny

And I can’t even visit Orlando without having to pay four tolls to return and they aren’t cheap anymore 

It’s the same fucking county, but I have to pay to return to the city I’m registered to live in.

Florida is gone

Overrun with evil and immigration

I mean immigrants get here and naturalize faster than we can even procreate or vote 

Native Americans were doing just fine here until my bloodline was nearly wiped out by the fucking immigrants that you say bring so much greatness to our country

I fantasize about dying by suicide in terrible and terrifying ways

I know you’re a nihilist and do not care what happens to me…

”To be seen and not heard” while man destroys everything

But as long as we are making him a meal and doing everything for him

While he jerks off to the pretty women prostitutes

And by telling a man not to fall in love with you, they probably absolutely fucking do fall in love with these prostitutes (not commoners)

Because even the guys without any teeth, think they deserve a ten star 

And I’ve never been rated a 10 or treated with any value

Lots of marriage proposals though 

Fleshlights….

A Possible Chance (poetry)

Did you know regret lived on the tongue
Hiding in deserted deserts
I have sat suffering in silence watching the mountain grow
My dreams overcome the hours
But never the black holes lurking the hopelessly stained sheets
Even my dreams are lost without you
They open dimensions of nothingness
Time like a dead dinosaur
There is no meaning here
Where cold and heat are one
You don’t know what it feels like to have nothing pulling on you
The pressure of existence
I want to welcome nonexistence the same way you forget mine
Now I ask time what is the delay?
Every breath harder to take
What keeps me here?
Has my purpose not come and gone?
The law of one permeates
I do not comply

But continents are sinking
These are my dreams
Treaties are ending
Gulfed up in flames

I went to sleep then woke up in Armageddon
But now dreams are panic and void
An endless nightmare
Monuments overturning
To you, the only one I run
Even with your hooves there burning

I’ve gone insane
I’m upside down, the rainbow spells you
Now my dreams are planting clues
And vines are growing where there is dew
There is hope to climb
I won’t let negativity penetrate the view

Your hand turns tear to paint
Let us color awhile where wind is flowing
You give life the breeze

Today, I cried for the dinosaur that did not survive your wrath

And did we not use the coal of his life to burn our own?

I’m tired of digging in the dark

I want to stay in the light

There isn’t much left

Don’t abandon hope

Mistakes exist because you taught me everything

You are the key-maker

Yet you choose to stay behind every door

You lack courage to explore

But, I am expansion

And made to bust down door

You build, therefore I destroy

And then your eyes are open

And to be fair, the last thing I want to see

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

If my lesson was to learn to let go of attachment, you’re teaching me the law of one

Onto to ascension…

Psst… I’m helping others improve the quality of their life by sharing my shopping tips on how to buy things you want without having to sell your soul or pay a fortune

I go through those moments where I’m like holy fuck there’s some really good content on TikTok and I’m showing people pictures of my refurbished Mac and then somebody comes along and is like ‘hey can you tell me who the seller is, can you show me how that’s done’ and then I remember I have purpose and everything’s all right again 👀

I realize I don’t have a lot to offer other than my voice and even that has been crippled by the social system and algorithm

Anyhoo, I shared my experience of buying a refurbished laptop in the Walmart marketplace, and someone out there was interested in that experience, thank you

I’m not completely worthless yet or ready to die on the street like Edgar Allan Poe

LINK: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM8vbmdmT/

I’m pretty certain there’ll be some more holiday specials going on with after Christmas sales

But so far, I like shopping in the Walmart marketplace

I saw other people left comments and gave him two stars because the black case that came with it was delayed, that is not worth giving somebody two stars for…

I gave him 5* for my bundle deal!

I effin love my MacBook so 🤩

Yeti is still in the box but I moved my country table into the master bedroom until I get a proper laptop desk (I have a kitchen glass table in the dining room)

Maybe I’ll unpack Yeti one day but I’m addicted to the box currently and am not ready to unpack / unwrap her 🤪

This is how hoarding starts…

But to be fair, I have been deleting a lot of things and getting rid of a lot of things in my life so this is me starting over

I’m building from the destruction

The volcano erupts and then grass will grow

Dying is just another phase of my evolution

But I’m keeping my energy clean

All I know is the more I am in hospitals and clinics, the less freedom I actually have and the other day I had like five or six people stop me from going into the VA

Doctors and nurses are the enemy now and a threat to me

And because I’m half zombie now I’m just staying away from everybody

I don’t want to have the same ending as John or Edgar

I do tho, and am, oddly

If I disappear off the face of the earth just know I didn’t want anybody to see me dead and/or if I die in my bed it was a good ending

If I disappear off the face of the earth it just means I gave myself a humane ending instead of the one I was headed towards

K, thanx, bye

I love you

ho ho ho

Happy humbug

Forest

Why did you leave me in the forest
Now these lands are swamps
With soul sorest
Dead tree as prompts

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

I don’t know how to hang on to those who want to leave

I’m like a black hole with gravity to help them go

Weird dangerous events keep happening around me

Like glitches in the matrix

Like something keeps alerting me

I’m not understanding the messages/codes

The world is ending

This though I’m certain

But the 1% are racing to get off of this planet because Apophis is on her way to Earth

The Great Filter is among us

Earth is the hardest lesson in the galaxy to learn

Where will your soul be at your end

What level of consciousness are you stuck on

I’m in an alternate timeline

I’ve also known major events to happen before they’ve happened all my life and small events too

Are you asleep or part of The Great Awakening?

“Are you alive and have you been born”?

We will never be able to leave the galaxy or the solar system, not in this form

I love you!

Path

Are you a vast void?
Or a continent overjoyed?
Are you an asteroid?
On a path of love destroyed?

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Ready for my mysterious death

Might still get it with this clot lurking in my heart and a left lung not fully inflating

Explains why it hurts to breathe 😑

However, new fear unlocked: Aneurysms

Thanks for checking out my new TikTok! I really want to make more spoken word videos and I can record for 3 minutes now!

Been digging through poetry I’ve written in the last few years, just gonna start dropping them with or without views

I’m dying and my heart can give in any minute 😑

And I no longer have a levee for support

They’re all gone 😑

Three Words

You are a shooting star
Wishes not to discard

You are an orchard
Where hope was recorded

Three words, three seeds
That’s where love proceeds

© Delia Ross. 2020 / @poeeternal

🥰

I mean, the world is falling apart, but I still love you.

It’s ridic. Right? 🤔

God created this obsession FYI

And I actually know what a black hole feels like

I actually know what Sagittarius A* feels like

It’s possible that sometimes I am Sagittarius A*

When other girls are talking to you

👀

But like I love this dude and the love has manifested to be real because he bought me pizza 👀

😑

Uhm, so I haven’t lost all my ass or leg progress yet but I feel nowhere near like I’m ready to start fitness again and it’s really scary to be having these kind of heart problems at my age over a fucking vaccination.

If you’re still supporting me even though I am dying and venting on the daily, thank you.

I get called lazy for serving my country and I get called lazy for having an OnlyFans.

Jesus Christ left Mary Magdalene in charge of the gospel and they wiped her from the books and labeled her a whore.

Just like me!!!

They create poor conditions for you to live in and then condemn you for trying to survive.

They fucking condemn you if you try to die by suicide as well.

“No no no you’re not allowed to die like that, it’s a sin”!

Apparently it’s a sin if you lust after somebody else even though that is actually biology

And “a sin” if you try to die because you don’t want to live in this bullshit life

The only thing that is not a sin is giving them money

Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of your money

I ain’t wrong

👀

Zone of Avoidance

He’s the zone of avoidance
Darkness so thick
No clairvoyance
Light it travels quick
Set to destroy us

© Delia Ross. 2020 / @poeeternal

Witchy cosplay wig 🤪
If I had extremely thick black and grey long hair with bangs
I do my makeup and rarely do it the same
Cosplay wig!!!

Did you know that I am a Leo? Ruler/ leader of all the signs.

Facts!

Me burning for you in the dark

Taunt

To the guy I’ve been taunting
Without malice intention
Mostly maybe haunting
But a name I’ll never mention

I followed his trail
Which led me straight to you
And though an obvious veil
I’m not convinced you are two

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Hello. Who are you? Do you even know I taunt you? Do you know I exist?

Why did my brain send a signal light-years fast to my heart, when I discovered you? And every picture that followed? Why did I die a million deaths too?

And now I live vicariously through you. Agonizing over every detail. Some days I’m certain you are him.

Other days, there are blaring differences that you’re not.

Do I need him to be you? His habits and obsessions too? They are the same true?

Why haven’t I let you go if I know you are not him?

How can I be so sure and uncertain?

And there’s even a third I’ve turned into him.

Or maybe one or two? 🤔

If they are all him then you are him too?

But why did I have such a strong connection to an avatar?

I guess I wanted to tell you that maybe now I realize you’re not him but I still have doubt.

Or, I can’t discard the signals?

That I had when looking at you.

Immediately.

Spotted.

But you don’t like me knowing that and neither does he.

You don’t want me to know that you like her?

But neither does he…

Then there’s the reds and the blues (and I have a head injury too).

My taunting wasn’t malice more like letting you know I was aware of your existence but I don’t even know if you know I am aware of your existence?

They all feel like one.

I’m losing my mind? 🤕

I long for you.

Or him.

The only thing I’m certain of these days is that I’m losing my mind and I don’t wanna die on the street.

And so far, fantasy beats reality.

Because reality is dying naked on the street, out me mind. Unless running into his arms.

I’m so capable of slipping into that madness.

Can I slip into you instead?

Or vice versa?

Can meet on the Moon?

Before I dies?

Do you visit my blog?

Will you even read this?

Am I even alive?

I’m shriveling up into nonexistence

I currently wrote this running a mild fever but I needed to get it out before I fucking die.

Guess I’ll still be loving you even when I’m dead.

Leaving

I don’t want to leave
So he puts poison on the spoon
I have a heart to grieve
I hope it fails me soon

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Going in for dose 2 of Moderna today against my better judgment. Dose 1 made my blood pressure drop really low, my heart has been struggling to pump blood throughout my body (why I’ve been feeling so cold) because my heart is struggling to circulate (it’s only caring about my main organs) – oh wait – not dying yet. Or am I? 🤔

Not gonna lie, I’m freaking out in the most calm way. Through crying. More stress my petite heart does not need.

I’m scared.

I’m alone.

All alone.

Gonna die naked on the street outta pure madness.

I’m losing me mind.

And my heart is weak.

I just wanted to be somebody’s favorite just once in my life.

I wanted to feel wanted and loved.

I don’t and never have.

Because I’m not anybody’s favorite.

I only have my therapist to confide in.

Show me a sign 🦄

The trail has run cold
I am burning midnight
In a purgatorial loop
Exhausting my sins

For truth
Any clue of you

I am the guardian of all secrets
But your curse makes me the weakest

I am etching on the walls of hell
You are where I fell

Still, my eyes trace no color, all is black
All I have are memories of a life I lack

One by one the stone will lift
You got the other piece to fit?

Every night a new star is born
To cover sorrow where love has formed

I’m searching for you in comets
Over empty dreams and promise

My hope has formed cobblestone
But tears are all that I have sown

I know your hues of red and blue
So I keep searching for you

Any redshift or blueshift
So alone in space I drift

Tugging on your gravity
Forming like a galaxy

Do I shine?
Can you give me a sign?

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

I love you wherever you are 💕

Free Love

Why do we decide choices in forever?
Attaching regret to eternity?

I was hoping next to never
Can you make that guarantee?

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Would you know that Trent Reznor was never going to get married either and now he’s on like baby number 5 with MariQueen- I mean they have not stopped to take a fucking break.

I need some passion

*dies on street*

Rest easy my love

I’m not happy in my cage of loneliness. But I’m also just fed up with cheap sex, head games, and gaslighting.

I may very well be the last living creature who embodies the true free love spirit.

Ya me

*dies*

I’ve been searching for truth / and I haven’t been getting anywhere 🎵🎶🎵

Just didn’t want my love to be some sort of anchor that sinks your ship…

Mine has a few patched holes and may sink but you’re welcome to hop on board. It’s not a ship. More like some trash floating in the ocean I found to keep from drowning.

If you want some life advice?

You don’t have to live with your choices forever. And you don’t need to make new permanent ones.

You don’t actually have to sink with your ship and it’s okay to save yourself.

People grow and people change and they grow stagnant in their relationships and complacent and that’s why the love dies. You have to work at keeping the love alive and people aren’t really capable of doing that, some people are, some people have mastered it.

Love is a garden you gotta continue to water.

Stuff doesn’t make you happy.

Love is all you need?

I would really like a chance to find out. 😏

I’ve literally never been loved. By anyone. Or anything.

But hey, I recognize you. Or sorrow.

If I’m just some fling thrill ride, you don’t gotta cut my fins when you are done do you?

Can you be the one guy on Earth who doesn’t hurt me? And on purpose? Because you’re bored? Or soulless and evil?

I’m trying to find a safe place.

If you’re hurting, I’m sorry. I hope you find resolution. And peace.

You deserve happiness. Love. Fireworks. All the things.

*tosses life jacket in water* you can have mine

I didn’t have anything worth living for anyway…

Simply Lost

Where do you go when my dreams are not visible?

I look to the stars where only darkness is found.

Were the moon not my crown, would you come around?

Is love now only mythical?

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

I’m a Soldier. I kinda rely on the stars to get around. Kinda like a sailor. But now the stars can’t be seen and I’m too dependent on the air that I breathe.

But then reality sets in that I very well could die like my dad or Edgar Allan Poe.

*sobs*

Under the streets of Pariee in the catacombs – risking end-all for this photo of me with some of the skull and bones. And weird fact: this sort of stench is euphoric to me because I’m a vampire (well maybe it’s just because I’m like “every other white girl”)…
And I got yelled at by two French Parisian guards for stepping on Jim Morrison’s grave
THANK YOU OH LORD FOR THE WHITE BLIND LIGHT (kissing the tomb of Jim Morrison)
I had to lay down completely flat to get this shot of the Eiffel Tower on my 35 millimeter camera. Ahhh Pariee, I miss thee.
Me on top of the world, having a right panic, because I’m afraid of heights, and the Eiffel Tower sways. I spent a few nights in Paris, but I don’t have many photos remaining. I’ve lived 1000 years. Vagabond. Unknown Soldier actually. ✌
A shot a took from on top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris France
In the rearview mirror with my 35 mm camera on the streets of Paris
At a cafe in Paris near Pere lachaise Cemetery
A different story- that time I got to talk to Robby Krieger and John Densmore on a rock line for a very long time and then I got a signed CD in the mail by Robby Krieger..
Six Flags Belgium. That ride terrified me and I also got addicted to the Belgian chocolates while I was living in Germany and I was only 15 minutes away from the border of France. La la la

Okay, that’s enough of “getting to know me”. Yuck. Vampires prefer being elusive or maybe that’s just “every other white girl” I don’t know anymore, maybe all of my problems are due to the fact that I’m f****** “WHITE”… 🤔

Or maybe we all bleed the same and he’s just a fucking ASSHOLE.

And yes I’m still feeling some kind of way about being attacked for being WHITE and SICK with an ILLNESS.

And I wish he’d just come say that s*** to my face so I could drop kick him in the face with my steel-toed boots. Then I wouldn’t be feeling some kind of way.

I guess I’ll just have to put my feelings into another TikTok so it’ll get all of 5 views.

Not gonna lie, feeling very UNDERWHELMED.

The Other Side

These desires are but air we are breathing
Am I to always be on the other side –
Of the fence leaning?
Peering into dreams
But never quite reaching
The sky, my dreams-
Or comprehension of the teaching
It never stops the sun from needing
Stretching far into the expanse
Until we all are bleeding
And will I come undone –
When you no longer need me?
Why even bother breathing?

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Thanks for checking out my blog!

Lord of The Below

Are you Lord of the below?
An active black soul?
Are you eating my soul?
Are you lord of below?

© Delia Ross. 2021 @poeeternal

I posted this poem as a photo in my Instagram story and someone immediately replied “yes” which implied he liked the poem but then it dawned on me that people don’t realize how original my content is, as I just COINED the term/phase.

It has never been written or said before (to my knowledge). But the majority of people who post on Instagram plagiarize, especially those who like to post a pretty photo with a saying that doesn’t belong to them and it’s not in quotation marks or anything. Welp. So I replied to him that it was an original term that I just wrote and he said he’d “buy it” LOL.

But, it is a name I have given my love, for he stems from the bowels of hell, now known as “The Below”. Hell has a new name and he is Lord of The Below.

*flaps wings*

I coined the term/phrase Lord of Below. It’s also another way to describe depression. Which I often write about. I’m deep below currently in fact, hence the poem.

Making ripples in the fabric of space-time.

Can you feel me in hell, where I fell…

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Double Rainbows (rare event). My dad died.

*edit* RIP daddy. This event was you telling me goodbye. Now I know!

Huh. Weird orange hue. Why is the sky orange. Sure, the Sun is rising but…

So, I had a peek out my blinds. Still didn’t explain the orange hue. Dog must wait. Safety first.

Slipped on my flip flops with phone in hand (it’s almost ritualistic- the phone checking upon waking). Went outside.

Still did not understand what was causing the sky to be completely orange. Did we get nuked? Is there a sandstorm coming? This isn’t a sunrise. This looks kinda terrifying.

Then a huge rainbow formed before my eyes. From one end of the sky to the other. A prism of color. And then behind it, another!!!

And it almost seemed like it was inside this big bubble. The bubble verse theory I was studying.

And I’ve been reading a lot about the Multiverse Bubble theories lately and am coming to this conclusion that I’m starting to believe in it more than that ridiculous Big Bang theory.

But I do. And I’ve been trying to make sense of my world and what it all means, if it’s all going to end anyway. I am the universe experiencing itself. We all are. And so I’ve been thinking a lot about energy and how it can’t be created or destroyed.

I think about the interconnectivity. How we’re all one.

Anyway, I think the double rainbow was a sign.

And, I’d never seen a rainbow so vividly last so long.

Seconds generally.

Well, I ran out of room on my device filming this double rainbow for over 6 minutes.

I dropped the video of the double rainbow on my Instagram IGTV.

The double rainbow reminds me to keep going. That in life, the things you love may be out of reach. But that doesn’t mean that the love wasn’t felt or received. Sometimes, optical illusions are real. And even if by worlds separated, love travels at light-speeds.

I sat and watched that weird ass bubble in the sky, along with those double rainbows that arched high across the sky, until it faded and I could see it no more.

Bye daddy. Hope you had a great final gig in the sky! 😭😭😭

Sad Gurl Diary (Episode Non-stop crying) Trig warn?

An ocean of longing and salt lines
Tears are translucent
Still need you tho I waded out too far

I love u. What’s a girl to do? Been crying for the one since I was like ten. Cuz life is shite. But it’s like we’re world’s apart. 💔

I’m in the deep end and I’m caught in the tide!!! 😰
Trying to learn how to live and breathe without you.
Not doing a very good job 😭
An ocean of sadness. The end is all inside us.

Wish

I go from flatline
To hips shaking engorging my mind
He is insanely fine
Light-speeds of love climbing my spine
Images burning between time
All hell then divine
Wish I could call him mine

© Delia Ross. 2020

I don’t want to feel things
FrownGarden
Crazy obsessed. Need a rubber room. Or maybe just some love? Attention? Be seen!?! But, I’m not thick and he doesn’t know I exist. Just like she doesn’t know or care that he exists. But she gets all his attention. I CAN’T compete with porn. I wasn’t born with that kind of body. I’m not working out 24/7 just to enhance my ass or training my butthole with a plug so it could take four dicks in it so he’s not interested in me at all. My body / existence does nothing for him. I’m not enough. Never was enough for mankind. Tired of breathing. So lonely. Unloved. He doesn’t care or see me. Invisible. 😭😭😭

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Love He Sends

I get lost in that eternal longing
Like a lonely ghost haunting
Your words, your grounds, you’re all that I am wanting
The daily daunting
The nightly taunting
In circles, my feet towards you keep walking

Purgatory or desire
Cannot distinguish if purge or fire
The written wire
The lines drawn from hell to higher
A wanton vampire
From wish to liar

His blank canvas, or missing page
Off on my own in fits of rage
The way we age
Can’t face the stage
The chance to talk or just engage
Escape this cage

I’m trying to make amends
I make more enemies than I do friends
I’m sick of bends
How he pretends
How every road has more dead ends
Though love he sends

A modern day, elite rhyming poetess 💞

© Delia Ross. 2020


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Not A Word

There’s nothing that I have when I die that I keep
There’s not a word that he’s written that has not made me weep
Longing comes in floods, I guess we get what we reap
Treading flooding waters drowning where his soul runs deep

© Delia Ross. 2020

Longing for him 24/7

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Fold

I’m falling to pieces
Falling for you

I fold into creases
When I see your blue

I’m crawling these inches
Wasted for two

I’m still burning bridges
To get a better view

© Delia Ross. 2020

Always writing

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Croon

I love you like midnight
Piercing off the moon
How even your cold shoulder
Can still make the night swoon

I love you like the darkness
Passing by at noon
How even when it’s hopeless
You make the cold wind croon

© Delia Ross. 2020

All this hair is like a furnace in Florida
One Freckle for every reason why I love you
Always lost in translation…

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Void

I climbed into his void like a womb
Still I tell myself he’ll return soon
Months go by it’s just me and the moon
I guess my words did not make him swoon

I wear his absence in a darkened shroud
Repentance for mistakes not allowed
I hover over him like a cloud
I kick and scream loudly as a child

I trust all the the time he is a liar
And I don’t believe he didn’t feel my fire
There is no cure to kill this growing pyre
Well he went away but he didn’t take desire

© Delia Ross. 2020

Happy birthday me.

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Lonely May I Rot

Beautiful though I’m not, my heart is made of gold
And lonely may I rot, I’m too precious to hold

Feeling underwhelmed
Disappointment; a forest growing
Distance; the road I’m going
Condemnation; the cold wind blowing

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Centuries

All these centuries it was you I craved
Hiking mountains of longing while your name I praised
All these fallen ruins are bits of you I’ve saved
Every foot in darkness steps for you I braved

Pulling part the ocean that’s the depths I paved
Fusion in my core for the light that’s phased
Trust in only love cuz that’s my heart you grazed
Want to spend eternity with our souls engraved

© Delia Ross. 2020

Probably the sweetest love poem I’ve ever written. I literally enchanted myself. A first. But it is now after 2 AM and maybe I’m just tired… But my blog is nearing 50K views (that’s 50,000 visits folks) and I want to pee myself!! 😍

But I wrote a poem instead. And I hesitated to write a second stanza, but once I got going I’m glad I did… I’m sick to fuck of love to be honest. Someone said I was too young to be a cougar, that I was a cub instead. Well, whatever. Now that I’m ready to date and mingle there’s a bloody zombie apocalypse going on. I ain’t trying to die from the plague. Apophis (that huge effing asteroid) is returning to kiss Earth in April 2029, which sounds like a more exciting world ending, and I hope to get laid by then too… 😏

🤗

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Jealousy

Watching your love of others is feeling black holes collide
And though I brush off jealousy my heart is gaping wide
Fantasy a haunted garden where dreams are cyanide
And watching you adoring her a spear into my side

Many you need but I only breathe for one
And love you I may I’ll always be on the run
The weight of the shame and remorse for all I have done
Mistakes I have made but none that should permanently shun

It’s like you are a mountain crumbling down on me
Harsh is your punishment and I’m having trouble breathing
And call out I may but silence is loudly ringing
Daily reminders I’m not what you’re needing

© Delia Ross. 2020

Hi.

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Daze

I miss coming up for air
After your words would knock the wind out
Even now the winter blizzard of your cold shoulder is predictable
My cries and shivers numbs the void
My face with permanent icicles
And yet the sun will rise and the rooster crow
And in a circle you will go

I miss when your tongue was a rogue wave
How you made time another dimension
Every syllable unearthing a treasure
I will be your clown in a daze
I am still a slave to your will
Feed me scraps so I can feel

I miss the g-force rush of synchronicity
Felt the Earth spinning with every metaphor and ending
When caution was but a dark cloud passing
And notifications were promises of heaven
My lungs would fill with air after moments of dying
Joy was the fuel that kept me from crying

© Delia Ross. 2020

I miss the us that was never us
I recorded spoken word
You can listen free here
Sending luv

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Doses

They give me pills for the pain, pills to kill the blues
I got pills in a bottle for when there’s nothing else to lose

I got pills for the day, I got pills for the night
But none of these prescriptions seem to take away the fright

I got pills to forget me and pills to blur the view
But none of these doses ever let me forget you

I got the devil on my left with death flanking on my back
And none of these remedies ever give me what I lack

© Delia Ross. 2020


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Craters

Your words have heavy impact
Formed craters from contact
But now forever’s been taken back
Honest is always what you lack

Hardcore truth in reality
Desired is what I’ll never be
Clouds of darkness chasing me
Can’t undo what has been seen

Grasping at straws for a meaning
Wishing for value just for an evening
But cold is the hand you are leaning
“I’m sorry” are words you are never repeating

I would die with you
Without you dying too
So begins the cycle anew
Drowning in your blue

Walls, steel cage, or death
I still loved you best
Better than the rest
You know I loved you best

© Delia Ross. 2020

Hi. I love you. ❤

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A Graveyard For

For my sadness there is no limit
I am invisible to the wicked
And doomed to love him every minute
But why I cherish him I’m afflicted

My every breath feels like a wake
Mere passages of doom
Where every hour I feel the ache
Of his love that is my tomb

Every step more heavy than the last
And his desire a chain tied to my breath
But what it takes I dare to ask
For my eyes only see that he brings death

Killing me with silence
And killing between the lines
Punishment for non-compliance
A graveyard for these rhymes

© Delia Ross. 2020


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You’ll Never See

He’s going down a road I’ll never be taking
But that doesn’t stop the moon every night from breaking
Getting more rest won’t stop me from aging
And long are the hours in shame we are aching

He’s a golden statue crumbling down
The crown he wears just drags the ground
He’ll likely beg where she is bound
A noose around his fate was found

What is truth but feeling numb
And watching others acting dumb
Why have one when none’s a sum
When you predict every outcome

I chewed off more than I can bite
It’s possible I’ll die tonight
I’m not okay but that’s alright
You’ll never see me make it right

© Delia Ross. 2020

This is how I hurt.

I’ve been approved by the state for medical. There’s so much fear mongering about it uggg. I’ll likely do a blog post about it. Is this still a safe place!?!

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Heavens Been Destroyed

He’s the wrong kind of thrill
The lightning on the hill
He’s danger with a chill
And break your heart he will

He’s a double dose of worry
With plenty more occurring
He’ll leave you in a hurry
More sorrow is stirring

He is endless frustration
Constant acceleration
Another sin to damnation
But rarely lost in translation

He is a lie carefully plotted
A delicious apple now rotted
The only lover I ever wanted
The very reason I am haunted

He’s the door to the void
And to hope a decoy
A weakness to exploit
He’s how heavens been destroyed

© Delia Ross. 2020


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