Does God know the story just from the composition of the cloud.
When I’m in doubt?
A double rainbow hanging about.
Can God see drought?

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.

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PS.

New carpet arrived. It’s almost like moving but not.

I’ve learned to hate eating out

They reduce the size but charge you more

A tiny cup of ice for $3.99

A kid size

Two sips, gone

Cup o’ ice please for $4.50

I won’t be back

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I yelled at the “boss” of the medicinal shop: “I’m quitting” and complained about the overuse of plastic and paper and waste. He replied “the government” and I yelled “I don’t give a fuck about the government”

I care about the rain forest and weed becoming the new plastic problem

Big Pharma and Big weed love to ruin our environment. Enough is enough!!! I will fight this addiction harder!!!!!!! I will not vote to legalize recreational and regret voting for medicinal. I will never vote again (my therapist says I’m polarized)

I tried to fire her but she wouldn’t go

I was like, I’m trying to quit weed

The state gave me an addiction with malicious intent and purpose

She said, “I’m in it for the long haul”

But what part of “I’m ready to jump from a bridge” or “escape society and disappear forever” is hard to understand?

I fucking talk to the Sun

I still want to look at it tho I’m not supposed to

“Not far enough down yet” (midday wearing prescribed tints mind you)

Then I researched why I need to get a look

And learned Galileo nearly went blind taking a peek at the sun with a telescope and no filter – he never quite recovered

In hindsight it’s like duh but otherwise I get it, I do dumb shit like that

I’ve always wanted to look through a telescope but I’m an invasive frog eating stage 2 food for 17 years, until I get stuck in my environment. I would have looked at the sun too, no filter, gone blindish.

But why do I want to stare at it? Just let me have a look!!!!

I’ve never seen the moon through a telescope

I’m never speaking to another man again

You stole my life

I’m having nightmares about the dog going on the floor.

He’s on house arrest and not allowed anywhere – but enjoys his walks more and time on my bed instead of his crib – which isn’t bad.

It’s either follow the rules or the death warrant is being signed – I mean the “dying on a good day”.

He wants to live to 12. He’s trying.

But he ain’t allowed anywhere. I’m having fucking nightmares. Just need a clean space. I even cleaned the trim and walls (easier than painting).

My cheap curtains from Aldi are hanging up with tape until I get proper hardware

Sometimes I want to move into my fitness room. And the living room is barren. I donated/trashed/sold everything (95%).

4 pack of nightlights on clearance was cheaper than 1 tiny candle – and it also has improved my mental health.

Who knew it took the dog not pissing on the carpet

Not to mention, the carpet was old and outdated and not like the showroom unit. I fought so hard to get the carpet replaced!

I start group therapy soon and my therapist is censoring what I’m allowed to talk about “in group” FYI.

So, the one person who was participating in group therapy will now attend but not really participate, FYI.

I’m trying to get in a mental and physical state where I can work from home – and luckily programs exist for me to attempt this.

At the state and federal level for veterans.

I don’t have a desktop computer, my phone is broken and there’s not enough space to update and it’s too hard to delete photos in a main album and I don’t want 5g and despite buying and spending hundreds of dollars on both a new phone and refurbished MacBook Air – the phone and laptop are no longer compatible and I’m not dropping thousands of dollars every 2 years to upgrade my devices. I’m done!!!

WordPress is dead and the only reason it has active users or X amount of the network is because universities and students now use it and businesses. They don’t need us.

The charts do show WP declining

They basically acted like Instagram and Twitter and sold-out and the users who made it what it was were punished

We said we didn’t like the Block editor, it was forced on us anyway! Surprise!

I don’t want to jump from platform to platform.

I was humiliated at the previous carpet – and though I wouldn’t let God eat from my kitchen, he could walk on my floor now. And sleep (like me).

I’d rather not have carpet at all – but new modern clean carpet has improved my mental health – despite the nightmares.

I also dropped $15 for a cotton mop and I hope it doesn’t break when I give it some “elbow grease”. Apparently people just push dirt around…

Walmart has become too expensive to shop from and hopefully the handle doesn’t give me cancer – everything else sold there has a cancer warning

The candles there are poison

Like the food and exercise equipment

My Jeep is having problems again and I gotta tell my girl goodbye

I think the mechanics are fucking with her though – with malicious intent and purpose

Having a car is too expensive these days – thought I could enjoy one after spending 6 years paying her off. Apparently not. These monsters are obsessed with the latest model and will force you into slavery of every kind.

My fucking small clothes are baggy on me.

I like having the windows open and the light shining through

I kept all 3 mirrors and opted to put the 2 in my fitness room

They have wire to hang – but alas on the floor they remain

I spent thousands of dollars on beds over the years – never really enjoyed one more than 2 months. Surprisingly, my spine likes the clean floor.

This carpet is a lighter color too, and my lease was renewed.

The neighbors hate me more now (updated carpet).

I’m making 2 ingredient cookies soon. My first time. Of course, I’ll add flax and oats and loads of other ingredients (but sugar, no sugar) so they will be more than “2 ingredients” in the end.

But peanut butter and eggs are all you need (to make “sugar free”)

I’m adding unsweetened coconut flakes, oats, flax, white chocolate, peanuts, and probably other proteins. Crunchy peanut butter sugar free cookies (experimental first try)

Should I create an Instagram to “socialize”? I’m not very good at it (autistic) but am trying to be a good humanz.

I take pictures of carpet and squirrels.

And I want to grow lots of plants – so will use free non GMO seeds from the seed library at the local hub. I will do my best to minimize costs of startup. Plants help you breathe.

I think going into hiding is best.

What do you think?

I have a place I rent / but it’s not really where I live / a city of cement / regret, prayer, lament

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