I can see your halo
Far beyond the payload
Where you might implode
Your sanity erode

I can see your halo
Written in lost code
Changing course the road
Where you rest below

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.

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Photo doesn’t belong to me but neither does my hard-earned money.

And I’m finding my most viral videos uploaded on YouTube without my permission, without any payment, without any request of use, without any way to message or contact those using my work, without having downloads turned on for anyone to use at will.

I film a particular way – when I’m shooting the sea, or whatever I’m filming.

It’s all a fucking shitshow and I need 100k followers or something to turn ‘tips’ on.

Recently someone wanted to send me $200 – but they also have invited me to ‘live free’ at one of their condos they own.

Nothing about my life sounds safe or too good to be true.

Furthermore, I had to delete my PayPal, Cash App, and Venmo accounts due to spam and whatnot cuz not even my money is safe.

Banks are shutting down. Billionaires are being offed or are maniacally suicidal risk takers, at the expense of our tax dollars.

I’m not even certain if the IRS is legal.

And the Lie House is funneling our money to criminals in the Ukraine and God knows where else.

I finally put a work order in to service the AC for mold.

Cuz maintenance is always “I don’t smell any mold” but I’m fucking still breaking out in hives, either from a nervous fucking breakdown or actual moldy conditions not noticeable “it’s in the walls” reviews will say…

And I haven’t smoked any weed since May – so I’m past the two week window but it takes a minimum of 4 months to recover from CUD (Cannabis User Disorder) and I still have brain fog.

I’m doing a lot of cleaning tho – and I actually do my laundry and put it away immediately, a slight miracle to not be sleeping next to clean clothes.

I still have no furniture and sleep on the floor and I made another clothing purchase – albeit I slept on the decision first – like I nearly always do.

And even tho the flash code of 25% had already ended, it was still valid further sealing the deal.

I’m obsessed with Dolls Kill boutique and hunt down the cotton stuff, though have bought a few cute sets that were poly blends.

I also got house thangs and shoes which I’ll likely never wear and will stay in the box…

I’m pushing myself to go skating despite the hives and nervous breakdowns.

I bought bath rugs and kitchen oven mits from DK – cuz obsessed

And sales + discount codes on top of sales

You should see the jogger set’s I’ve scored and maybe one day you will

I think I’m looking less hideous than my recent TikTok posts but at least I’m not lying on the bottom of the seafloor in pieces.

So there’s that.

It feels nice getting things in the mail other than spam and bills.

I can’t opt out of the spam and the US post office is selling our data, just like I learned Papa John’s was doing – so I deleted my account (like 2 or 3 years ago) and basically stopped supporting big business.

I should be allowed to order pizza without my data being sold.

I hate (even worse) how society is ran now.

All the pencil dick dictator leaders brownnosing Big China – who wants to nuke us and have us live in fear 24/7

I had another nightmare last night, this time trying to escape zombies.

I’ve not been watching any horror movies or zombie things.

My nightmares always consist of me trying to escape something and finding myself in a closure I cannot escape.

Whether it be a room with no windows or doors, or something else. It’s always the climax I wake up on.

Have to reassure myself, “pew, it was only a dream”

I was consistently going down – hills – roads – grass – indoor walkways at incredible speeds all while trying to avoid the numerous zombies coming after me.

My dreams are always fucking nightmares…

It doesn’t help that the Devil is always after me when I’m awake

I hope I leave the house for something other than food or doctors visits of medical malpractice

Maybe to do something within the community like church or skating

But then I risk the chance of catching Covid or some other disease being spread with malicious intent and purpose

People are always coughing

I literally roll up my car window when I hear a bystander or another rider coughing

My immune system was compromised

I just wanna be home

But this don’t feel like home

It feels like a deathtrap

Just like the unsinkable Titan

TITANic

I take a shit ton of vitamins like immunity support supplements that I have to order from a different country cuz everything is poisoned here

I’m trying to fix my eating habits

And I’m still obsessed with his stories

Which are probably responsible for my nightmares

(I blame war FYI)

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My laundry is almost done and I’m craving a shopping dopamine boost

“We have everything we need bb”

“I know but I really want it”

“Okay but this is the last time”

“I’m almost done getting the things I need and at least I’m spending less”

“We get paid soon again”

*sigh*

“Okay but just one more thing…”

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I got rid of everything in my life cuz I hated it and told myself we could replace it with things we want/need

I’m in replacement mode but refuse to buy a bed or furniture until I move

The neighbors make me wanna do bad things

The city drives me insane

The entire earth could be Eden but naw, invasive species left and right

“This country was founded on immigration” and they vote with malicious intent and purpose

I may like your stories but I know you voted for Biden and I want to punch you

I’m still homicidal and suicidal but I’m no longer signing waivers

For anything…

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