Nothing is as before
The sun ain’t yellow
The way people plead
And bust down every door
But they don’t bleed
When they bellow
They just unravel
And yell at me
Offer poisoned apple
That I don’t need
Still I’m under cover
Collecting seed

Copyright © 2023 Delia Ross / @poeeternal. All rights reserved.

---

---

Linkys: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal

---

P.S. I finally stopped losing weight and gained weight and am now 120 pounds (still size small)

Women look at me with contempt often. I guess they need someone to blame. I had a basketful of treats and doughnuts 🍩 while ordering a footlong sub at Publix and could feel their eyes burning me. I tell no lies. They were not happy with me at all. Or were projecting their own unhappiness. Either way, I’m still fitness rebounding and plan to include skating before I die (hopefully not soon). Have been going on more walks with my dog too. Don’t let them lie to you and say “10,000 steps don’t count”. My motto when rebounding for a minimum of 10 minutes is “every step counts”. Cuz even if you can only take one, eventually it will be 3 and 5. So keep going, keep moving. Spiral out. 🌀

I’m upgrading my rebounder soon.

Still waiting on the ps5 notification of “ready for pickup”.

Cake is in the future, but right now it’s candy bars, doughnuts, brownie bits, and muffins. Don’t judge me.

Cuz there were 5 staring me down while ordering food.

Like chill yo. I’m famished and dreaming of sweet treats.

I don’t want it to be my downfall cuz junk food is junk food.

It’s terrible for me. I’m gonna learn to make my own sweet treats to satisfy the cravings.

Anyhoo

P.S.S. Me and him (him and I) are so in sync, that I managed to order the exact tv stand as him, same color.

I even made a second trip to Walmart to find a stand, which they didn’t have one for my size. So reluctantly got back on Amazon and did a search and read through many reviews and fought with myself on color, and slept on it, then ordered.

Sent him a text of what I got (cuz) and he responded with a picture of his entertainment area. Same fucking one.

SAME ONE

He also ordered some shit that I got mad at him about but once it arrived said he was gonna return it (so glad)

He imprinted on me in my twenties and I had a dream about him as a child.

He’s a nihilist and most days I hold him in contempt

But I ain’t returning my TV stand just cuz it happens to be the same as his.

Maybe the algorithm is to blame.

AI is always watching

If we discuss a name via text message, TikTok will show me loads of content of shit I don’t wanna see

And I yell at him for it

We had not discussed tv stands tho

I just like to show him things I buy

And yell at him for things he buys

(Like random hotel rooms by “accident”)

“I didn’t realize I reserved a room” kind of shit

Or buying flags of another country cuz he’s a traitor with yellow fever but pretends he don’t know what I mean…

I’m a fucking oracle

I know everything but in fractal formation so nothing at all

AI did not decide on the TV stand I wanted

I even drove places hunting one down

The one I decided on came in many colors, but somehow I got THE EXACT one as his.

He’s probably my twin flame

Something weird is going on….

Tis all

I also ordered this bat wing purse thing and wallet – cuz I’m gothed out in pink these days (and my obsession was before the Barbie propaganda bullshit). I probably will stop spending money soon. I have nearly everything I need.

---

Except a playstation membership and headset for social hours.

*sigh*

Anyone wanna gift me? 🤪

P.S.S. setting up the modem soon. Gonna be utilizing the living room again. Eating at the dinner table now instead of my bed. Adding more routine to my routine.

People miss me going live too, and now that I’m regaining weight instead of losing, I kinda wanna…

Dr. Peterson says you need routine – and there’s only so much cleaning and cooking I can do.

And my life is still disorganized after letting 95% of my belongings go

---