But it just hit 75,000
I blinked and missed it hitting 75K and now it’s nearly had another 1k views and is at light-speeds racing towards 100,000 visits to my blog
In a blink of an eye 👀
It means something to me
All of this –
All of this mess I bleed forth daily
I would’ve already been dead on the street if it wasn’t for you – visiting my blog
👀
Why do I turn into Sagittarius A* when I see other girls flirting with you?
I don’t think telling you I turn into a black hole in the center of our Milky Way galaxy is an accurate enough description on how it makes me feel when I see other girls flirting with you
👀
Big Pharma doesn’t have a pill for my kind of obsession
👀
Also when I look at a galaxy it looks like a bunch of paint that’s being drained down a tub, so all that stuff is going somewhere and likely the same place we go when we die, so I don’t want my energy being messed with in any shape, form, or fashion when I die.
Do not drain the blood from my body, do not pump my body full of chemicals, do not remove my organs, just put me in a fucking box and put me somewhere and let me take 10,000 years to deteriorate, yeah?
Cool.
Because I never thought having a grave to crawl into would be something that I would have to worry about but it is.
I want a grave to crawl the fuck into and I don’t want my body being messed with when I die. I don’t want my hair being touched, I don’t want my skin being touched, don’t fucking touch me, don’t fucking touch me, just put me in a fucking box.
👀
I wanna dissolve at an incredibly slow rate. Because blood is the sun and bones are the Earth.
👀
You can’t have my organs when I die, I am a selfish motherfucker and I am not an organ donor.
Mine!
👀
Let me rot in peace, without any manmade chemicals inside me to “preserve me”.
Don’t fucking preserve me.
👀
(Unless for science to clone me or bring me back digitally).
👀
I love the way you come
Rushing
Like a fire hose gushing
To your will I succumb
👀
The body that has frightened AND terrified many many men 👀
👇
https://onlyfans.com/poeeternal
This post might self-destruct because I am modest and shy about my body
More on my OnlyFans and 50% off the price of any subscription package currently for a limited time!
👀
Your education is just another word for programming
👀
Everything you have been taught is a lie
👀
We are not the only life that has evolved in the galaxy
👀
Addiction is bred
👀
Free yourself
👀
Free your mind, wake up
👀
Red pill or blue pill?
👀
Blue for me all the way
👀
(I’m that program in the matrix doing what it’s not supposed to be doing)
👀
(Listen to me before they permanently ban me from all Internet)
👀
Or before you see me on the top o’clock news for going rogue
👀
It must be extremely difficult to get to the 1% but that’s what we need for this revolution
👀
We gotta jump together
👀
No more unplugging one by one
👀
Now is the time before Biden touches that goddamn button and we have nuclear fallout or before Apophis is here
👀
Or Stuxnet or the other current pipeline hack disaster
👀
My time is running out
👀
Not all of you are remorseless monsters – some of you are still worth saving
👀
2000 5000 the numbers accrue
I’ll go through every avatar looking for you
👀
Like a needle in a haystack
I’ve come unglued
👀
And what should I do with this profound piece of information should I find you still lurking there?
Only die another forsaken death?
👀
And then go stalk your real life profiles and wish somebody loved me the same?
And then cry more deaths because I don’t get the fantasy or the real life.
👀
Peacocks and tiny peaches also require nurturing or dies
👀
bb don’t wanna die on no street
👀
bb don’t wanna die in hospital either and she made that clear to her doctor
👀
bb has peach out cuz this is what bb do now
👀
bb not allowed to talk about it
👀
bb not allowed an identity anywhere
👀
bb been shadowbanned
👀
*dies on street*
👀
Religion and porn and NASA it’s all the same entity
big brother the government it’s all the same entity
👀
Petite but I added 6 inches to my silhouette 🤪
And hopefully I feel better soon but I’m not better yet and these things are hard and heavy to walk in (definitely not “light walking”) 👀
I can’t wait to use these in cosplay sets!
I can’t wait to learn to walk in them!
I’ll be glad to get back to fitness and rebounding tho!
When you’re trying to explain what’s happening to your body after receiving COVID vaccines and someone replies, “well I didn’t read that on the CDC website…”
Me: 👇
Delia’s gone / one more round / Delia’s gone
Johnny Cash wrote me a god damn warning
🤔
Welp. I for sure ain’t getting no booster shots.
I am in the eye of a storm brewing
My eyes on the horizon of my choosing
Is it an enemy or a friend I am losing
Torn pages from books I am removing
Broken bottles every avenue I’m now strewing
I wrote the fucking thing but someone else is just going to steal it and then all of their followers are going to leave them the most amazing comments like they’re the best writer ever in the world and they’re gonna all buy each other’s books and support each other 👀
It’s basically the blues and if my daddy would have wanted to love me instead of fuck me I’d probably be playing the harp right now like David Gilmour’s daughter is doing
Not all daddy’s are bad
The grass IS greener
Apparently
👀
But God is also in a band called Pink Floyd
👀
And he sold all his guitars and it’s basically the end of the world
👀
I’m not wrong
👀
“All I want to say is they don’t really care about us”
Michael Jackson on the Illuminati
👀
“Everybody dog food”
“Everybody gone mad”
“They can’t kill me”
(They did tho didn’t they, they killed him)
👀
And banned this song? 👀
“I can’t believe this is the land from which I came” 👀
Oh MJ…
My hero and my first crush
I’m awake with you
And nearly dead
👀
I watched a conference where Michael Jackson was talking about how he wrote this song and that it was about the illuminati and how they don’t really care about us…
👀
The song 👇👇👇
Why isn’t the CDC listing the rare side effects these vaccines are causing
The public should be informed and the rare side effects should be included, including rare deaths
Because these vaccines have killed almost 2000 people so far
Have you ever ripped a fucking hole in your heart?
Because I’m having physical pains in my heart and my EKG is showing signs of distress
👀
With wide eyes the clerk may ask “how are you”?
Homicidal, I reply
This is gonna be funnnnn
👀
I’m gonna make a game out of dying
Let’s see how many I can scare with as few words as possible
“Lights match”
I thought my blog was going to be a “safe place” but it’s just another area for people to fuck me without my consent
90% of you steal my ideas or words from me (also known as plagiarism)
You’re the same ones who would’ve locked me on the bottom of the Titanic and watched it sink from boats that could’ve held more people
You claim my ideas as your own
Everything is so fucking clear
I want to gouge out my own eyes and then stick it in my fucking brain but not before I take a few of you out first and with all my army training I imagine I could probably last a little bit longer than Russell Crowe did
I need a side kick to go rogue with
Where my sidekick
BB ready to rock n roll with guns blazing
👀
(If you support my campaigns – I do not consider you a thief)
Edgar Allan Poe died on the fucking street and I know why
I know why he died like that and I’m not gonna fucking die like that
👀
verb▸ to take someone else’s work, ideas, or words, and use them as if they were your own
As far as I’m concerned we’re even
You buried me in this fake ass community
I should burn your book
And 90% of the blogging community with it
You all steal my ideas from me and fuck each other in the comments about how good it was
You never once gave the content you stole my idea from a like, a comment, a re-blog, a fucking follow…
You never even joined my Patreon at the lowest tier amount
You just keep visiting my blog and stealing my ideas
I’m no longer using the phrase “suicidal” anymore with my doctors and I’m now using the phrase “homicidal“ instead
👀
I don’t need permission as a writer or a blogger to share my life journey with you – I’ve opted to include the ups and downs – I don’t need to write an essay explaining why I chose to be vaccinated – I don’t need to include my education or my credentials for any of this.
I don’t owe you anything.
I’ve paid the costs of living this life and I don’t need your mockery.
There’s been all of two people concerned that my health has been negatively affected by these vaccinations
My doctor is one
I’m the other
👀
I look for a cut
Or a scar
A loving line
Or a mark
A simple freckle
Or a knot
A little dimple
Or a shot
In open fields
Or swarms of thought
And when he’s stalling
Or in a trot
And when he’s culling
Cuz he’s caught
And rope is burning
Cuz he’s hot
Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
You ever been into somebody so much that any marking on their skin is a map to a galaxy you want to explore 👀
Or you wanna have babies with somebody but you need to figure out how to say hello or ask them out first 👀
Have you ever fallen for somebody without knowing who they are or what they look like 👀
Have you ever have a secret admirer feed you
Have you ever got a gift from a secret admirer
Have you ever lived between fantasy and real world
What if you couldn’t tell the dream world from the real world?
👀
You make it easier to breathe
You open up my heart and carve new paths to bleed
You give me what I need
My soul feeling wonder dying by the sea
👀
Might already be dead if it wasn’t for you giving me the will to live and my doctor writing me a prescription for aspirin 👀
You don’t just give me the will, you dump a load of chemicals directly into the source at light-speeds (my heart)
If it wasn’t for you stretching out my heart…
I might not even be alive 👀
(Your mind makes it real)
(You die in the Matrix, you die in the real world)
(Yea, but if I told you that you wouldn’t have jumped)
(But what’s really gonna boggle your noodle later is would you have even broke it if I hadn’t of said anything)
👀
(Sorry living out multiple scenes / theories in this multiverse)
👀
(You saved my life)
(You might not believe it but I do)
I can say I don’t understand how I’ve been getting through these last few weeks but the reason is you.
👀
God doesn’t want us collecting and tagging and counting every creature on Earth
“For science and education”
The New World Order wants that
They want to own and control the world
They almost do
When will identity be illegal?
You already crucify individuality with your “copy of a copy of a copy” bullshit.
1984 is every fucking day
And now with the new TOS policy I reckon people are learning how to make Instagram posts and TikTok videos in first grade now 👀
You can get a sex change operation or completely change your body into a fucking lizard but you can no longer smoke a menthol cigarette, that’s fucking banned 👀
And now if you’re in the military you can share what you’re doing on social media 👀
When I was serving you weren’t even allowed to “check in” on social media 👀
I identify as DAZED AND CONFUSED 👀
(And I’m the kid in the stoner shirt who always has the good weed) 👀
Hey mannnnnm you wanna get highhhhhh
(Cuz it’s getting high or dying in the street)
(And I’ve actually lost supporters because I smoke medicinal) 👀
Byeeeeeee
Every now and then I remind people that I am a mother
And reason number 1 that I don’t have fake boobs is because I’m a breast feeder. 👀
I fed mine for 1 solid year.
They never once drank powder formula.
100% breast milk only and for 6 months that is all my child lived on and then after 6 months of age I began introducing baby food to their diet but my breast milk was their number 1 diet for another 6 months!
Not Gerber baby food. Not powdered milk.
The milk that my body made specific to my babies needs.
That’s what they drank.
My baby is all growns now.
I pay all my own bills 👀
Never once married 👀
Y’all don’t like a real MILF tho do you?
You like the ones with the fake tits who don’t even watch their kids?
Let alone breast feed 👀
I wish I knew then what I know now 👀
My tits sag cuz I’m a mom who breastfed and I’m sick of you body shaming me because of it 👀
I’m still capable of having babies 👀
But maybe not for much longer 👀
(Because I’m currently 420 years of age) 👀
Still ovulating
100% all natural babe
And on my good days I still look fairly young and everybody thinks we’re sisters (not mama daughter)
(While they were born female they identify as male so I rarely use the term she/her anymore).
I’m not inexperienced 👀
That porn actress is ACTING – that’s why she looks direct in the camera and SMILES.
Please wake up
Dying and need you
😩
(Somebody please love me before I die on the street)
(I don’t want to replace my body with desensitizing plastic so I can’t even feel you touching me or fucking me) 👀
I wore fake nails for two weeks and couldn’t feel a fucking thing I touched.
Plastic separates you from yourself
Desensitization
👀
I am “tired” of feeling things 👀
*dies naked on street*
Apparently getting lots of sleep is a side effect of the COVID vaccinations 👀
I haven’t slept since war in 2003 👀
But now that I’m semi-dying I can’t get enough sleep 👀
There are random times that my eyelids become so heavy I feel like I’m moving into my final rest 👀
Like, this may be the last time I lay down 👀
Like I’m dying 👀
But it’s a side effect of the vaccinations and can go on for weeks 👀
Lethargy 👀
From insomniac to I can’t get enough sleep 👀
*runs to the CDC website to check to see if lethargy is listed as a side effect* 👀
It is not 👀
Well, it does list “tiredness”, the CDC like to sugarcoat it though.
Tired 👀
I’m sorry but I can’t come into work today because “I’m tired”. 👀
Did you get any sleep?
Yeah, like 19 hours but I’m tired. 👀
Good luck keeping that job. 👀
Good luck getting a job that isn’t Big Corporation (which are mainly owned and ran by people from other countries who come here and pay all their people top dollar while paying the Americans minimum wage and rarely giving pay raises or using the recommended pay and reward systems 👀
(They don’t even give proper rest breaks) 👀
(Trump wasn’t wrong about them taking our jobs) 👀
*remembers I had to yell at my nurse to take this seriously because people are dying from this and I need to know if it is related to the shots*
*doc said yesterday that she looked into the side effects and what I am going through IS RELATED to COVID*
*it’s not in my fucking head*
The “No Child Left Behind Act” means everybody follows the rules and no one goes above and beyond to see what is going on with people when they’re having rare symptoms 👀
Including most people still plugged into the system 👀
But my doctor woke 👀
(And it’s really hard to find one in the VA)
I reminded my doctor yesterday that I am an old school Army medic and they don’t make us like they used to 👀
I was basically a nurse – I was EMT certified but trained to do a whole lot more on Soldiers than civilians 👀
The military have their on judicial system 👀
They have their own training system too 👀
I was a combat medic for half my career 👀
(7 1/2 years but remained the “medic” any time we had range or needed an extra hat to remind people to stay hydrated) 👀
I did way more than that 👀
They had me in charge of drug prevention and giving random urine test 👀
I got paid the big moneys in the Department of Defense 👀
I might’ve fell with the great economic collapse like the great fucking depression 👀
But I still remember all my training 👀
My resume is 4 pages long 👀
I was a super Soldier 👀
Now I’m super dying and it is COVID related my doctor confirmed 👀
I’m not losing my mind 👀
It’s not all in my head 👀
You might not see what is happening to me and you might not read about it on the CDC website but it is actually real 👀
(And you may need to find a good nurse or doctor who gets this) 👀
(If you know something is wrong but you aren’t getting the answers you need about your car or your marriage or your body, then you might wanna think about changing who you’re working with because they might not be very good at their job, maybe they’re just average at their job, maybe they do a pretty decent job but nothing more) 👀
I’ve read articles where teenage children burned in a house that was burning down simply because the mom said “stay”. 👀
I don’t listen to anything my parents say 👀
My skill sets are not like yours 👀
I only speak the truth 👀
It feels nice to wake up though to know that there’s at least one other individual out there who knows that what is going on with me is COVID-19 related 👀
I didn’t need to know that all this started after my first and second doses, there was already a correlation there even tho the CDC doesn’t list “blood clots” as a possible side effect and people are dying from it.
(Including Moderna) 👀
I’m “tired” because my BP (blood pressure) keeps dropping (which is why I get extremely cold but being “cold” isn’t listed on the CDC website) 👀
Dying is not listed as a possible side effect of vaccinations even though people are actually dying from these vaccines 👀
This pandemic was completely manmade but that’s an entirely different fucking argument that my heart cannot get into right now because it’s too fucking tired even though it slept through the night 👀
So if you are feeling “tired” after being vaccinated, it’s a side effect that can go on FOR WEEKS. 👀
And if your body feels like Antarctica even though you live in Florida and it’s 93° outside and you’re not running your air conditioning –
You might be dying 👀
(I hope you have somebody who can keep you suspended between heaven and earth or hell because I believe him and my doctor are the only reason I’m alive)
Him, my doctor, and aspirin 👀
(And what’s even scarier is when you’re going through all this and nobody believes you)
“Well, I didn’t read that on the CDC website”
Nor did I 😩
(But my doctor confirmed it’s Covid related)
It’s not in my head
It’s in my heart
😩
She said a heart can heal itself like a bone!
It wasn’t all bad news!
Doc ordered more tests for me today and DOES NOT want me doing ANY PHYSICAL ACTIVITY – she said light walking only until she has more answers. I’m not allowed to rebound. 😩
She looked into the signs and symptoms and said what I am going through IS RELATED to COVID.
But I asked her could a heart heal itself like a bone and she said yes! A heart can heal itself!
So good!
Cuz my body has healed from many broken bones and I’ve been doing the heating pad and positive self-encouragement even though tears have been streaming down my face.
She told me to keep doing the heating pad!
But no physical activity and more test have been ordered.
And she made it clear that what is happening to me IS COVID related.
Worth repeating.
My doctor has no hidden agenda.
Nor do I.
I’m gonna keep writing and working on my photography and cosplay but energy levels are near dead.
She did say these symptoms can last for weeks after and reminded me I’m about 3 weeks in (she said six weeks or more).
She also brought up the fact that these vaccines are incredibly new and there isn’t a lot of data to go by.
I told her she needed a pay raise and an award and a medal and that she’s doing a good job and she is saving my life.
She’s one of them good doctors!
She goes above and beyond!
I ain’t getting no booster shots!
My vaccination record better be enough to travel!
If it’s Boeing, I ain’t going!
(The test my doc ordered checks for clots in the lungs – been breathing okay – but she wants to make sure. Although there has been a few times I’ve struggled to take a breath).
Covid related all this.
To the guy who misses me – I miss you too. You’re my incentive to get better.
I think you may be the reason I’m still alive.
I’m bonded to you.
👀
I don’t even know how I could’ve gotten through all the pain I was going through and have been going through – without you.
The physical pain, the emotional, and the fears.
You’ve kept me stabilized.
My every atom wants to reach you.
👀
I believe that Jesus Christ was a real person who was crucified for trying to spread the message of peace and to let you know that money was not our real purpose in life
He was anti New World Order just like me
Just like John Lennon
And everyone before me who was truly woke
Jesus was real but that Bible is bologna and I want all the information that they’ve kept from the Bible like the stuff Mary Magdalene wrote
I want to read that
Jesus left Mary in charge and they wiped her from the fucking story and labeled her a “whore“
They shadowbanned her
Sound familiar?
“She sounds like a paranoid Soldier”
You’d be paranoid too if you really knew what the fuck was going on
👀
*wants to disappear into the forest with him and watch the world burn*
*just wants him*
👀
I’m not saying that God isn’t real but that Bible that you’ve been lovebombed with is fucking bullshit to keep you enslaved
It’s so egotistical and anti-women I’d love to see it burned at the fucking stake
in fact I might do a video of me burning a Bible
Ha what are you gonna do
what are you gonna do if I post a video of me burning the Bible, you gonna ban me from all Internet if I burn the Bible?
you’re going to ban me from the fucking Internet if I post a video with me burning the fucking Bible?
Legal huh
Probably not for long….
*excuse me while I learn the real truth of who I am, not who I’ve been conditioned to believe I am*
Religion should be 18+ like porn
Biden is trying to take us to war with Russia
Any Hollywood movie I watch is filled with anti Russia propaganda.
They took out a pipeline huh?
Y’all read about Stuxnet yet?
And now someone is messing with our pipelines?
Well Bush owns half of the oil stock in the world.
There is money to be made with Big War for oil.
It’s not a fucking conspiracy theory open your fucking eyes or better yet stop being a fucking coward and help me do something about it
Our own government creates the problems – creates the tension – there’s money to be made with Big Oil!!!!!!!!!! Big War!!!!!!!
You are a slave, Neo!
Turn off your TV!
Wake up!
https://twitter.com/quicktake/status/1391832433767686151?s=21
Are we to ignore the fact that a 39-year-old woman with no known health issues died after receiving the vaccinations?
No big deal?
30fucking9
We’re just casualties of war, right?
Disposable
All hail Big Pharma
*manages to escape the bottom floor of the Titanic but it’s still sinking*
👀
“Heart attacks and miscarriages”
“blown vocal cords” 😩
And yeah, I had to yell at my nurse to take this shit seriously and not give me the common side effects listed by the CDC.
The illuminati own Big Bro and Big Internet
But it’s nice to finally start finding some articles that haven’t been paid or promoted by the CDC or WHO
It’s by some miracle I’m still alive.
I was fucking dying that first night you came to see me.
My BP dropped because it had to carve a new path to work.
My BP keeps dropping because those Moderna shots have fucked me up.
The only reason I’m still alive is because he did come to see me.
He put me in some sort of trance.
He removed my fears and took my mind (mostly) from the pain.
And I was telling him, “I’m sorry my energy levels are so low”.
I’m fucking dying
👀
Wanted to watch the sun go down on the beach Friday night and I thought it was gonna be my last because my body core temperature started dropping so low that I could no longer sit on the sand.
I was so lethargic I thought I was about to just lay down and go to sleep and never wake up and it was really scary to think that I could just die right there with all those strangers around and so I immediately got up and went the fuck home and got in my bed and back under my fucking heating pad because I was freezing. By 8:30 I was back home in bed on a Friday night. Lame 👀
Wednesday after freezing under my heating pad for 3 hours – I took a solid hot bath – 10 minutes into that hot bath my skin felt cold as a dead body.
I might die from this.
It’s a miracle I’m still alive.
I’m bonded to him and it’s not because he bought me pizza – but he did buy me pizza and now I’m his wife.
He’s stuck with me.
👀
That’s the rules in an apocalypse.
You buy her pizza and she’s yours.
👀
(I feel closer to him than anyone in the entire world and I don’t know who he is)
👀
And I’m currently that salmon swimming upstream.
I gots to find my mate before I die
(I was meant to have another 40+ years)
*warning* If you have underlying health issues you’re playing Russian roulette if you get any of the vaccinations
1984 is now
Stay woke
Because I can barely keep my eyes open due to extremely low energy levels after receiving Covid vaccinations
I can’t even watch a fucking sunset
👀
I’m not starving
I was at the grocery store today and I bought a shit ton of food and I’m frugal
I’m saving my pennies to buy some fucking land but go ahead and keep spending your money on gambling and drugs and body shaming women for not sending you free nudes when you demand
I’m not starving and I’ve got like 15 pounds of fat I need to shed.
Then, more muscle to re-build and booty gains once I get the go-ahead to start working out again.
Petite. Not obsolete.
*grumbles there’s not enough weed to get me through the apocalypse and now they’ve banned me only favorite cigarettes even tho I only smoke 1 or 2 a year*
*fears the day she’s stumbling through the streets naked and mad*
*doesn’t understand a fucking thing*
*needs love*
*Remembers she bought chocolate and cookies*
COOKIES
🍪🥠🍪
(If that is a fortune cookie it looks like Pac-Man trying to eat my chocolate chips)
I actually would enjoy playing Pac-Man again if they did make it cookies…
🍪🥠🍪
And Cookie Monster as Pac-Man
In a multi-verse that game actually exists and I’m playing it right now according to scientists who say there’s many versions of me
Hellos
Can we change dimensions pretty please?
Helps?
*sends out call sign to Neo*
(And he heard because they are making The Matrix 4 right now and I’m living for it)
I’m not starving, I’m just tiny, and I have a very big appetite!
(i also workout normally when I’m not dying)
👀
42% Obese?
Jeaus Christ
So how many on that list “overweight”?
Stop body shaming me because you’re too lazy to work out
👀
https://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/jadult.html
I’m disabled and dying and I still fucking work out
👀
Feeling slightly better
But tired of being picked on because I’m small
And venting stopped me from crying
And also googling the statistics of the amount of Americans who are currently obese in America
it’s a lot
👀
I fucking workout – deal with it
I’m petite
DEAL WITH IT
(And guess what, I’m not gonna feel bad about stuffing my face full of cookies now)
I am the Cookie Monster
And I will steal your cookie
👀
I look like I’m starving so he’s constantly in my inbox hitting me up for free nudes 👀
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I just dropped a new cosplay set! It has been getting some good feedback and I appreciate that very much! 💕
Just having your support there is encouraging and pushes me to keep going!
Like a little hamster on a wheel (and hopefully just as cute)! 🤪
I have a lot of content up – and I’m running some specials and 50% off deals if you’d like to check out my campaign or catch up on what you’ve missed! ❤️
Your support keeps this blog going!
Thanks for giving the inexperienced, little gal a shot at her dreams!
apple.news/AFz7rVR1OT8eAGjXCWK3Plw
Woah. Red pill or blue pill?
How deep in the rabbit hole do you want to go?

Tell me again you love me
Under midnight blue moon
When comets are rushing
The way I hope I’ll greet you soon
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
I can’t stop thinking about you and all the things we want to do.
So poem.
Again.
I love you 💕
It wasn’t luck
He found me half dead
In a ditch
Without a buck
Labeled “no one cared”
Or even worse
They never dared
And I’d gave up
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
He makes me feel like my little feet are the reason the world is spinning 🤪
Or, like a little hamster in a cage on a wheel that keeps going…
He makes me keep going…
His kisses
Incentives 👀
His visits
Break fences 👀
His kisses
Life sentence 👀
*strums guitar*
I like him so much I can feel heaven hovering over my dreams
He makes me feel forever young 😻
And he bought this lingerie from my Amazon Wishlist 😻
I cried when I originally tried it on, I guess because I’m not as young as I wanna be – but he quickly made me forget all of that.
He undoes all the torment men have put my mind and body through over all the years – all the body shaming they did.
Poof gone.
By the way he looks at me
By the way he handles me
He makes all my parts feel loved
He doesn’t ignore one atom on or in me
If there is an atom hiding, he’s gonna hunt it down and find it
But all my atoms fall into orbit when he’s around
Electric
I think all these chemicals he’s flushing my heart with is helping
All the things hurt less
Even my heart
(If you’re on the fence about the Adome lingerie line on Amazon – you should do it – and forget the fact that you’re not gonna look as cute as the girls advertised – if you’ve got a body untouched by plastic like me)
(I’m not saying you won’t look cute in it – that’s my own negative self image. I think everybody looks fucking fine but many of us suffer from negative self image)
(He undoes all that negative self image)
(And he doesn’t tell me to grow up)
(Or to look the part)
“You shouldn’t be dressed like that”
“You’re showing too much skin”
“Slut whore cunt slutttttt whoreeeee”
“You’re asking for it”
I mean, the body shaming didn’t just come from the men.
I hear it being yelled at me while I’m pumping my gas looking all dead n cute
“Whoreeeeeeee”
I’ll yell back, “you know you jealous bitch” (never knowing why because I cry about my body all the fucking time over the fact that I never grew up and I am not voluptuous)
I’ve pretty much mostly spent all of my years on earth living in the south and my God y’all know how to body shame women with your opinion and religion.
Just stop
He makes me feel bomb ☄️🔥🔥🔥
And it feels nice to wake up with a mental health boost before the sun has even risen
Miracles
Woke up not crying
Atoms feel harmonized and at rest
*dozes back off to sleep*
The new cosplay lingerie was a hit but I gotta add some over the knee socks to the mix.
(daddy really enjoyed the costume so it gave me a much needed mental health boost)
Where do you go deep in the forest?
The woods beckon me to follow
Because you’re the constellation Taurus
And the gods named you Apollo!
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
And I finally know your name (I mean, the name even you had forgotten) ⚡️⚡️⚡️
I LOVE YOU 😻
I mean, I just freestyle wrote this because your visits do some sort of thing to every atom in me.
And it’s not like they get rearranged, it’s like they’re organized and activated, as opposed to spiraling down Sagittarius A*
You magnify me or something
My electrons are connected to you
You electrically charge me
You light me up
Spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, all the “ly”
Marry me?
He wants to do it with me everywhere and I’m just trying to figure out how to turn that into a better song than that Beatles song about doing it in the road…
“Why don’t we do it in the road…”
And that’s pretty much the entire Beatles song for 2 1/2 minutes and I think I can do better than that
😏
“He wants to do it with me everywhere”
🎶🎵🎶🎸🎸🎸🎧🎤🎼🎼🎼🎼🎶🎶🎶
*strums guitar*
“He wants to do it with me everywhere”
*strums guitar*
I mean, it sounds pretty good so far.
We need to put it in our wedding bands 💍
“We’re gonna do it everywhere” 🤓
You think the Beatles might be interested in buying my song?
Well, what about Nashville, Tennessee?
Or do you think they still hate me for being responsible for having country music USA turned into Music City USA because I literally refused to spend any money in Nashville or any of my gang and it worked.
I demanded a goth night and fucking got it and I got all my peeps to fucking go and then more clubs started opening up and then more and it no longer was just country music every fucking bar
I am not exaggerating every bar was country music every night and I was responsible for getting that changed
Hello
Why ain’t a galaxy named after me?
Do you like me underneath the filter?
Or when my self-esteem is low, that I’m breaking every mirror?
Is my age something you consider?
Do you know it makes me bitter?
Do you know I am a sinner?
Or my life is growing thinner?
How I’m like an over-thinker?
And you got me by the finger?
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
If there were anything you wanted to tell me while still alive, nows the time
(Unless we are blood related you can get in the bottom of the sea and die)
Tick-tock times almost out
Hope I live to see my blog hit 100,000 views before I die
Never even dared dream my little blog would ever get to 10K
But it’s already been visited over 74,000+ times
❤️
Do the people who ghost me ever visit?
Or is it just mostly my enemies like vultures hovering over me waiting for me to die?
apple.news/AQB3mFW78TYSPt8A9QcxjAA
I can’t read the rest of this fucking article
Now that I’m vaccinated I’m at MORE RISK
And less protected against the variants
And this article states 3 are of concern –
Then stated the CDC released new reports stating there will be a rise!
They started the zombie apocalypse!
The CDC has been advertising what to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse for years!
I’m fucking dying cuz I got these vaccines!
Fuck your peer pressure and gaslighting!!
Legit am dying body has been ice cold for hours now!
Somebody please read the rest of that article and tell me that I’m reading it wrong like I did the fucking pizza coupon!!!!
It doesn’t read go!!!
I don’t feel good!!!!
That vaccine was worthless!
It fucked up my heart!!!!!
I don’t need EKG results to know something is wrong!
I’m fucking freezing!!!! I’m dying!!!!
www.instagram.com/p/COgaFNQlz_d/
My latest Instagram post is doing so much better than I thought it would.
Especially because my self-esteem has been low – I haven’t felt very photogenic – and this was my first time walking in stilettos. 🤪
Thank you for the follows, bookmarks, likes, and comments. 💕
I’m not supposed to be feeling like I’m already knocking on my grave
I’m so paranoid to believe / they whipped up the perfect formula to get to me…
So yeah, taking an aspirin a day now for blood clots – well uhm – to thin my blood out and maybe keep less clots destroying my heart.
If you already suffer from underlying health issues – you need to understand the risks involved when you get that goddamn vaccine
M’kay
People have died from it, it’s not a fucking joke
I have nothing to gain from being the whistleblower
But everything to lose
👀
The phone conversation went worse.
Why the fuck did I do that second shot
If you feel it in your fucking soul to not do something, you need to listen to yourself and not what the media is peer pressuring you to do and everyone around you
That vaccine is fucking peer pressure
I collapsed and look where it got me!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn’t wanna die in my bed and now I can’t even fucking leave it!
Checkmate goes to the NWO/CDC
You built me a starship
With no commands
You kneel down before me
And place no demands
Double rainbows are forming
Over sacred lands
And though time may be forewarning
You keep heart in hands
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
My time is almost up but I found one more way to say I love you 💕
Our home is a starship. The kind like Elon Musk has built, the reusable landing kind.
Not the NASA death tomb.
The kind of starship that fuels your dreams.
And we need to name it.
(One of the tiny rooms contains all your poetry and I fall asleep on the floor for never wanting to leave).
(Sometimes you tell me bedtime stories)
(Sometimes you pick me off the floor and hold me)
(I like starship the best because it contains you)
((I didn’t know Elon musk had named his starship until I went to look and then I was like of course he did, of course he named it starship))
I was just thinking about how you drop in, not by cloud, not by comet, by starship!
And like a boat you built by hand, but a starship.
And then I saw the article where Elon musk actually named his rocket starship.
Of course he fucking did
So the fantasy I was laying here having actually is a reality for somebody else
lmao
But poem 😏
I love when you drop in.
I love you.
And I’m sending all my love to you lightning speed through a starship.
Babe, now we got a space shuttle!
I like it, I like it a lot.
We need to break it in. 👀
*goes back to dreaming*
(Have always wanted to do it in zero gravity)
Thank you for getting me items off my Amazon wishlist. I’m happy to have a cute little schoolgirl outfit to go with my pigtails and things. It’s Adome lingerie and I like their clothing line on Amazon.
I wish I had a real way to thank you.
(I know it’s all fun and games but it makes my heart happy)
xo
I can see part of his face
Haunting me through time
I want to memorize his shape
Like a spiral on a spine
And the colors of his flesh
The canvas of divine
Takes the pain beneath the breast
Gives me hope to align
💕
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
*The below contains unpopular opinion and language* 🤓
Is it true that trademarks are only recognized in some countries now?
It’s a bold statement to make, it’s just I saw something pop up on a video game about trademarks being recognized in some countries only – or at least, that’s how I perceived it. I seem to read between the lines (or gaslighting).
So the FDA has banned menthol but I could turn myself into a lizard if I want? 🤔
So, I can get a full body lizard tattoo and split my tongue, and get a full sex change operation, I can identify as a carrot BUT it’s illegal to smoke a menthol cigarette? 🤔
Somebody help me the fuck out
I can sew up my pp and chop off my boobs but I can’t smoke a menthol? 🤔
Wait, what.
We can still feed sugar crack to 3 year olds but I can’t smoke a fucking menthol? 🤔
So I can give this god damn sugar crack to recommended age 3+, but I can legally no longer buy a pack of menthol? 🤔
It’s fucking cancer + crack and recommended right there on the package for age 3+
But menthol is fucking banned.
Uhm, okay who is running the fucking country?
Y’all have lost y’all damn mind
I don’t even smoke anymore but on the rare occasion that I do, it’s a fucking menthol.
I just don’t understand the world anymore and I can’t blame it on my brain injury any longer.
I haven’t been voting for any of this shit!
I don’t want my tax money going to NASA!!!!!
In other news, if I die, I’m still gonna be taking my last breath dreaming about you.
Because I like how you lean on my lips and touch my cheeks with your fingertips.
I like the little ways you go above and beyond to show me you care.
I like living off your breath because it’s the nectar of life.
Your kiss.
And all I want before I die.
My cat mask arrived after a bit of a challenge to get it! I’ve had a lot of request to bring back the cat cosplay but I wanted to upgrade to a better mask! I haz done! Hope you like! It’s a spectacular mask!
Getting to do cosplay is my passion and I’m always listening to what you like and I’m always behind the scenes trying to get better, to enhance my makeup skills, my costumes, my wardrobe, my camera skills. All the things.
I love drama and the arts, cosplay is improv time for me!
My workout routine has been halted, but not my diet. 🤢
I’m not quitting my photography, writing, or cosplay.
Though moving now at a snails pace.
I got it from Amazon Prime – a favorite place to shop no doubt. Been shopping there for years. Even bought my Epiphone guitar kit from there. Came with everything, still working good. 🤓
“You deserve somebody who knows why you are rare” Mark Anthony
Now I’m almost dead and obsolete so it doesn’t matter
👀
(To the guy out there who got me something off my Amazon wishlist even tho I’m dying, thank you for loving me before I died)
(I don’t even know your name but it’s possible you have my whole, broken heart)
(You probably deserve a better heart than mine)
👀
(I wish I had a way to thank you for stuffing me full of pizza and surprise)
A real way to thank you
Even with half my supporters already gone, you make me feel less alone. 👫
Whatever your intentions are, you make dying feel less scary.
Getting pizza and gifts from my Amazon wishlist by you, was 1 billion times better than dying in a cold hospital room, with wilting flowers.
Now I understand why my dad wanted to die in his bed.
But I’m saving pennies for a plot of land, to live on.
I want to die on my own little piece of land, where I pay taxes annually, but have no real rights, as I wouldn’t even be able to grow vegetables in my front yard (in Florida), because a law has now passed that you can’t do that. And, if the government wanted your land, they will buy it back at the cheapest price. Whether you agree or not.
Freedom is an illusion.
But whatever.
I feel freedom when I’m with you (even though I don’t know your name or where you are).
I feel closer to you than anybody else in the entire world.
But then I also feel like we could merge into one and I still would need to get closer to you.
Maybe you only need a cheap thrill ride and here I am falling in love
*bites phone instead of nails*
👀
I like how our conversations always start off like we’re picking up where we left off even though we’re not.
Like, “babe do you know where I left the keys?”
“Uh, check the stove dear.” even though I’ve never set foot in your place – I’d still magically know where they are.
I think my soul may reside in your place metaphorically.
I’m half dead, half there with you?
Come make me whole?
I like how when you come through the door it feels like you’re coming home or places feel like home wherever you are.
We just fit.
I like how we can be deep into role-play and then have a normal moment without skipping a beat.
“Oh yah knock at the door, where were we”
Like when a drummer loses his drumstick and grabs another stick but never misses a fucking beat.
Of course we have moments where we stumble (mainly due to me) and you can hear the humility in my bones rumble, but then you turn mistake into butterfly wings.
In the real world I would be yelled at or written up.
“Ross, how many times have I told you…”
And I’m the kind of person that if I spend 26 hours putting 1000% effort into my essay and then it comes back with a bunch of red marks including my title, it’s fucking war you know, it’s fucking war basically…
I’m at constant war with the system, no wonder my heart is carving new paths to flow.
Jesus Christ
So that’s what that pain is
A rip or tear in my heart?
I will fucking die
“Looks like one is closed and the other enlarged”
Jesus fucking Christ
*gets back under heating pad*
*Disassociates mind from heart*
*thinks about him and tries to simmer breathing to a near calm*
Warmth is life
(But it also would explain why my BP had been dropping and why I’ve been feeling cold)
I somehow secretly think it’s a miracle I’m still alive
(Thank you to anybody who has stuck around, if anything as moral support)
(I don’t have parents or a fam to turn to)
(I’ve contacted 1 blood relation only)
(I need to get to JAG and get my will updated so I can leave all my shit to 1 person only)
(My dad left 2 people in his will but not sure if it is being followed)
(Why the fuck would anybody respect a dead person’s last wish? I mean we don’t even respect peoples wishes when we’re fucking alive do we, I’m learning lots of lessons with my dad dying, that’s all you should know behind the scenes because my dad died just a few months ago didn’t he and now I’m next.
So goes life.
Some are remembered, mostly not.
I’m aware that I’m on the “mostly not” list.
I don’t even have a fucking burial plot, coffin, or headstone.
And for some reason I’m learning that if you’re actually dying, having those things feels a lot less scary.
It’s like wearing your safety belt when you’re driving.
Or having the rails up when you’re bowling.
And there are people out there was so much money they sleep in coffins for fun.
*le sigh*
The thought of dying and my body immediately being cremated like an hour later freaks me the fuck out.
You will be tagged for disposal before your body has even gone cold.
Like, what if my energy needs to do some shit and now they are fucking with my body?
I want my head laid on a pillow and I want the maggots to take me in my coffin thank you
I want to take 500 to 1000 years for my body to turn back into fucking dust that’s what I want
I want my body to have the chance to fucking do what it’s supposed to do on its own
It doesn’t even have to be a fancy box with a pillow.
I am not an organ donor.
And I don’t want to be “preserved” (unless for scientific reasons to be cloned or brought back digitally).
Frozen ideally but that costs the big moneys.
I want to keep my blood, guts, and all.
No funeral.
Just a fucking box and maybe a headstone to show I was worth more than dying naked on the street.
Never thought I’d have to add to my bucket-list, “buy a fucking coffin and burial plot”.
👀
Somebody out there misses me and got me something off of my Amazon wishlist and nobody’s ever done that before and I have made 100 wishlists is since Amazon came out and nobody’s ever done that for me for anything, not for birthday, not for anything, I don’t get spoiled
But if I’m gonna die I wanna look cute doing it and I may be ornery but I can still fucking dress myself
He gets me
And I wish you were here so I could practice dancing in my stilettos and I could use you as a pole. Hmmmm oh wrong chat 👀
I hate that I am aloof and scatterbrained but I love how you react to it, it’s like you’re just running really fast to catch on a moving train!
Woo hoo!
You’re the warm stone I want my cold bones to lay
Do wish I could have talked to her before getting dose 2 but here we fucking are.
One of the digits of my new phone number was incorrectly inputted when I gave it to the front desk clerk – no matter who was to blame – and this letter she sent me I never received because USPS are at war with this neighbor.
So, when I finally did get through to her the first thing she asked was, “did you get my letter, the EKG results? I don’t like how your heart looks, you’re too young for your heart to look this way”…
But obviously she needs more test than an EKG.
I don’t normally share my personal private health matters, aside from depression.
I’m not making any of this up.
xoxo
(I’m really scared about what’s going on but also I dropped my campaign really low because I haven’t been active there but now I have someone who joined and already has the thing turned off and they’re clearly not happy so it’s gonna be more guys who just want to use me like they do in the real world – you know they fuck me and then just dump me – that’s it – that’s pretty much all my life has been about.
Another hill, another disappointment.
My heart is ripped.
I know I don’t have a great body, but I don’t want a plastic one.
I haven’t even had a hug since 2019 and now I’m fucking dying.
I’m not offering him a refund.
They can cum and go.
Nearly dead on the street all used up like Poe.
I’m not quitting my campaign. I can offer you discounts if you would like to remain or to come back.
I have a ton of content up.
I want to make more art and cosplay. I hate that I’m always the subject of my photography but I really enjoy taking photography and doing improv, dance, and cosplay. I also like writing.
But I also have a thing for a stranger who I feel closer to you than anybody in the entire world and I don’t really know who he really is
He also makes me feel really good
He makes all this shit worth it
Because I don’t even have a mom to cry to
I like fantasy with him. I like the real things too, like how we match sometimes on things by accident. Or coincidence.
Or magnetically.
I’m bonded with him.
We’ve had pizza together now, we’re bonded.
I’m not even bonded to my mom.
I’ve never been bonded to anything.
We’re bonded.
I would die for him.
But right now I’m actually trying to stay alive because I want to feel his kiss in the real world and it may be something worth dreaming about and staying alive for because all hope is almost gone.
It was nearly gone.
I was drowning in the middle of the ocean.
He sent me an SOS.
Wait, maybe he’s drowning and the package is the SOS.
He needs to be saved too.
I would give him the last little breath in my tiny little lung.
I like the world we’re building. He makes me euphoric and that was before pizza and gifts.
I am lying in rubble
I cover earth in dew
Every sign points to trouble
I just want to be with you
And so the air I cuddle
Remembering that you breathe it too
Every night I crumble
But dreams always change my view
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
I love the real world and the dreamworld with you.
I like the plans and the mess.
I like the spontaneous combustion with you.
From combat boots to stilettos – and me standing in my very first pair for the very first time. Now I know why a poll is involved generally when in use. Or, another human being. For support. 👀
So they’ve gotten a lot of really good feedback so I’m going to keep them even though they pinch my toes.
They will be good for theatrics, photoshoots, or as fuckware. They are definitely hard to walk in but I’m getting better. 🤪
I picked up the Pleaser Devil Kat Stacks Adore in Black/Red from one of my favorite stores called DollsKill. They’d been in my wishlist for a minute. Figured they’d go with most of my wardrobe (which is black).
I’m working on new content – albeit not a light-speeds.
I have something wrong with my fucking heart.
We only have 4 valves right? Because I don’t want to Google or to remember.
I don’t want to think that my heart is actually working at 50% capacity because that would explain the pain coming from my fucking chest and when my mind and heart connect it starts hurting a whole lot worse so I’m having to disassociate thank you bye
I’ve also spent a lot of time under my heating pad.
I only had four puffs from one cigarette from a pack of menthol that I have had in my freezer for months but after I read that the FDA are banning them and I figured I was dying so what the fuck, I had a few puffs. As goodbye. And an act of rebellion. Fuck the FDA.
Also, there isn’t anybody else threatening to kick my ass so I don’t have to go all fucking Unhinged.
That was a momentary lapse of reason.
I’m mostly just dying. But then he came to visit me last night and he said he missed me and then surprised me with pizza but then even more spoiling cuz he ordered stuff from my Amazon Wishlist and ain’t nobody ever done that.
Ain’t no guy ever spoiled or romanced me.
I get to do things with him nobody else will let me do.
Being unexperienced just means improv to me.
I don’t feel unexperienced, I have a four page resume and a deteriorating mind.
Before long, I’ll be having things pasted on the wall.
Newspaper clippings in weird code solving the mysteries of the universe written in a format only he would understand.
But I definitely do not want to be witch lady with 50 cats because I can barely stand having one under my foot. 👀
It’s an evil little beast on 4 legs.
And I’m programmed to see it as an innocent kitten.
But it’s not, it’s a little terror machine.
I just want him.
Why is that so fucking much to ask?????
Why can’t I have him right now?
While I still have a half functioning heart.
(He probably has the other half)
(Wouldn’t mind actually laying next to his chest and allowing our hearts to go in sync and beat synchronized)
I need him.
His kisses, his stories, and whatever else he throws in the mix.
I only rest when he comes around.
I can’t fucking sleep without him.
Y’all, he said he missed me 💕
Then he gifted me a gift card for pizza 😻
And then after he stuffed my belly full of pizza –
He surprised me again and got me stuffs from my Amazon wishlist 😻
And then I fell asleep on him again 🤪
(Not literally just metaphorically)
If he was actually here you likely wouldn’t hear from me for days, you’d probably only hear from me when I came up for air…
If he allowed it
🤪
Slept through the whole night
Looks like he’s got the prescription Big Pharm can’t write me
You reckon them porn stars are ready to make babies with every guy that gets them something off their Amazon wishlist? An I doing this right? 👀
The porn stars only care about money babies – That’s why she’s always looking right in the camera and smiling at you. It’s called acting.
But this here isn’t acting. This is me wanting to meet up with him in Vegas, elope, and start making babies immediately.
👀
He doesn’t care that I’m aloof and stupid. Because I can’t even read a coupon correctly and I fall asleep on him.
But that’s the thing, when he comes around I finally sleep.
He’s my safe place.
Even though I don’t actually know who he really is.
It’s complicated 👀
But for the first time in my life somebody bought me something off of my Amazon wishlist and for some reason I keep getting to do all the firsts with him. 😻
I want to do all the firsts and then I want to do them again.
Everything about him feels better than dying on the street.
There aren’t any red flags and even if there were, my brain perceives them as a red carpet.
I need him
He knows how to handle my inexperience and goofiness
Or when I read a pizza coupon wrong
He knows how to make me not feel stupid
Even when I’m feeling slightly embarrassed for being inexperienced or stewpids
He squashes those fears flat before they even get a chance to simmer
I could be 100 % convinced we were on the straight path and then lead us both into a trap and he’d make a game out of it
Cuz I’ve decided this instance he’s my Tarzan
Him and I like the forest
When we’re not busy destroying the city and everything in it
Everything except each other
We stop for kisses and then get back to fucking shit up like Bonnie and Clyde
I’m busy dying and he’s like “but can we have babies first before you do that”
And now all the parts in my body feel magnetized and activated
There may be a slight hum coming from my bones
It’s possible I may start levitating a few inches off the ground
Does anybody make you feel like that?
I know how the universe feels expanding cuz he makes all my neurons fire
He makes my entire body euphoric without touching me
And sometimes he makes me throb
He makes me feel the things
And I get to open up and do things with him that other people won’t let me do
My mind, spirit, and body has been chained
But he frees me
He knows how to release me
I’m attached to him and it’s not through trauma bonding
We are north and south
Yin and yang
And I have loads of food leftover and stuff arriving this week from my wishlist thanks to him spoiling me 💕
I also have a surprise coming from my DollsKill wishlist, something I got in thanks of y’all pushing me into the top 27, and holding me there so long!
I can’t talk about it, you just have to wait!
(And even tho I was waiting like a hawk all day for UPS, I still managed to miss that ‘tap’ at my door). The dog didn’t even bark. He barks at everything! 🤪
I even drove around the parking lot like a madman trying to catch up with him but he was gone gone gone
So I gotta go pick it up at the drop off location I think.
I’ve just accepted that reality is broken for me.
And I can trust my mind just about as much as I can trust my GPS.
👀
Or the CDC.
And I yelled at my nurse yesterday when I was trying to relay a message to her to get to my doctor about looking up the signs and symptoms of Moderna and she wanted to give me the signs and symptoms listed off the CDC website and I was like “I need you to start taking your job seriously, people have died from this“.
And then I yelled at her more saying my signs and symptoms aren’t the fucking flu
Or what you can pull from the CDC website which lists COMMON symptoms, not rare.
Furthermore, those are common symptoms from all the vaccines, I need mine specifically from Moderna.
And then I hung up on her cuz my heart can’t take the fucking stress.
And then my mind was wandering to where only seven people had attended Edgar Allan Poe’s funeral and I was thinking I didn’t want anybody to attend mine at all – until he came.
Have you ever missed someone you’ve never even met?
I’m slightly deranged and dying and didn’t even think he wanted me around.
But then he appeared like Neo and said, “I’ve missed you” and I replied, “I can tell”. And then we disappeared and then I missed Morpheus arriving with my special package for y’all… 👀
The end of the world can wait. Priorities.
Coming out of my coffin soon
I hope
And I’m having pizza and warm brownies for breakfast
With milk
😋
Gonna have delicious pizza breath off and on all day
And I think my special package is on the brown truck again – I think they’re going to actually attempt to redeliver it since it was a signed package but then they’re going to leave it at the drop off point if I’m unable to show up at my own destination. 🤪
But I can’t even read a fucking pizza coupon correctly so you know
Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong
It’s like a betting game
I had my pharmacist crying laughing the other day though, I told him, “it says good driver on my license though sometimes it’s questionable“ and he was like STOP IT and was wiping tears from his eyes.
And everything I said was comic gold. He couldn’t stop laughing. He thanked me for the mental health boost.
🤓
(no need to get jelly cuz this one plays for the other team)
We were just having a moment like the squirrel
There’s madness all around but sometimes you just gotta stop and laugh with somebody whose on the job.
Somebody who isn’t threatening to kick your fucking ass simply because you need them to sign onto the register so they can check out your egg sandwich and Coca-Cola in the can.
You’re gonna sign out and meet me outside are you?
Well I wanna see that fucking shit, I do
👀
So it’s either fighting hoes at the 7/11 or having babies in Vegas.
I’ll take Vegas.
👀
(I was feeling completely depleted and deranged but then he came and filled me up with love and pizza and gifts from my Amazon Wishlist)
Lightning struck twice in the same place
A double first
He’s some sort of mythical, magical creature and I don’t fear him in the thickness or the fog
He taught me to hover below the fog
To use the fog as a cover
To lay flat so I can breathe easier
He’s teaching me how to not fear the fog
He told me the fog will come and go
But that the forest needs the fog
He said I’ll get that lesson another time
And then he kissed me and disappeared into the fog
And I don’t know when I will see him again
But now I know he misses me when he’s gone
And there’s special things arriving 😻
I miss him too and now the fog is mostly gone
Love remains
He moves through me like rain pattering
Thunder rumbling
Dim lights reflecting from wet pavement
A calm serenity in the early A.M.
The soft sound of a match flicking
An in your face, after hours, door down kicking
He gets me thinking
Every atom increasing
Over wide expanse
To find me dreaming
Sometimes silently screaming
Can he even hear me?
Why am I always seething?
The endless bleeding
Month after month
He’s all I’m needing
Come back to me
The garden is empty now
There’s nothing to sow
Twisted twigs removed of thorn
Every step is filled with scorn
Blood and rust becomes the norm
Evil’s made and evil’s born
The sun will rise tomorrow true
But she won’t give a fuck about you
I’m not where I’m meant to be
I’m forgetful how
You said you’d never desert me in vow
When you’ve been given the hand as a pawn
So you shake the tree to see how hard a king could fall
Because death follows you all around
And fits your head like it’s a crown
Tell them I died of inexperience
Disappeared into dust and this
Nothingness
I am delirious
Feasting on nefarious
Darkness
Arrest bliss
So restless
Half dead
Half alive
Feet dragging in circles
But got throttle to survive
I’m scared
And I have no one to tell
My orders they aren’t in order
And the place looks like hell
I keep organizing disorder
In clusters of equal color
And piling to the ceiling
The clippings of my horror
But then, falling to a clutter
Every single note he said
I found it in the gutter
Where all my tears flood instead
(And fears instead of wonder)
I play slip and slide in the mud
A word I rarely utter
With thunder lightning mixed with blood
With prayers less to suffer
Wrapped in heated wool and fear
Coyotes yipping at me to stay alive
Or to die
I can’t tell a difference half the time
The fog is thicker
But my heart is wearing thinner
And I’m sick of winter
Freezing in the sun
My hope’s a killer
Stealing every grain of fun
And he made fear a winner
The heart isn’t waterproof
And my anger
Is lit up like a sunroof
I’m in danger
So I’m acting like a goof
I will hold your wager
And toss it off the roof
While you call a stranger
Thinking they can protect you
👀
If you cringe at everything you do or say
Maybe it’s because you are corrupt in a way?
I need a break from routine
From sunup to sundown
24/7
The constant dying
The endless trying
One moment to another
More yearning and crying
Tidal distortion
Everywhere he’s been
Pulled from proportion
He’s good at sneaking in
Speaks in third person
Night is on his chin
I got blood on my favorite shirt
Tell my heart it’s not the reason we’re hurt
I cover wound with a bit of dirt
I can’t recall when I wasn’t this burnt
Why did you leave? I ripped my heart open for you.
We need a heat source
Heat is life
Get me to the light
(Warmth is nice)
He went like a wave
And I caught in undertow
Give me a box
To store my bones
Let me have peace
They’ll find a home
Everybody unhinged
Don’t give a shit
On anger we’ve binged
So full of it
I’m bright, I’m lit
I’m always last at the end of a road
The last in line
Last picked
My house is cold
Two days go by
It feels a year
My hope runs dry
But not these tears
Did I not wait with contempt
As the hourglass filled with time
Every grain of sand with you on my mind
Was I ever worth an attempt?
IO
How can a moon erupt?
How long ‘til I give up?
Will volcanic ash spew in the wake of my dust?
How can a moon corrupt?
He makes me desperate
Feeling as if I am his least favorite
But then he comes from comets swinging giving me the greatest gifts
His words and his virtual kiss
Then I forget
I’m not his favorite
I called to him under darkened sky
He arrived in a meteor shower
With desire on display
Why won’t you grant me my last wish even dying?
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
Thank you for your support! I ordered something off of my DollsKill wishlist! 😍
https://www.dollskill.com/wishlist/shared/index/code/6aff5297b64c912c59c1dbb9379c25f0/
I fucking hate giving away surprises but I’m terrible with secrets! 🤪
Some secrets. 🤪
I may be dying but I wanna look hella good doing so.
Selected the overnight shipping.
I feel like shit and it hurts to breathe.
But, I bought something from a favorite store and I hope it fits.
The makeover continues through the dying.
On with the show…
(But someone please explain to me why I’m not allowed to smoke a menthol cigarette anymore)
*Tries to remember the type of cigarette Brandon Lee was smoking on his deathbed during his final scene in The Crow*
*lights menthol*
*takes puff*
I read the FDA is banning these things – and of course they would ban them during the apocalypse – anything to make life more hell.
(I rarely ever smoke anymore but when I do it’s the menthol. I had some tiny puffs. Like 4). Just felt like being rebellious. I’m dying. 🤢
“If I got rid of my demons, I’d miss my angel”
The Illuminati took you too didn’t they 😫
PoeEternal 