LMAO it’s such a convincing photo I actually have people on TikTok who think I am stalking him?
LOL yes? But I’m not the reason he is hiding? It was lunch hour and the frontside was busy. I accidentally went the wrong way and then accidentally bumped into the Teslar again and now am an accidental stalker? I just thought it made for a good story? Plus, I smiled the cutest smile and waved with my eyes closed when passing (though no one was inside – I’m sure it was recorded?)
If there is a snapshot of me, he may be scared or in-love?
“How did I meet your mother? Well she was stalking my car…”
“Instead of getting a restraining order, I got her a meal”
“Didn’t have to worry about her keying my car at least”
There you are…
Does God want us to meet?
He’s gonna have to sell his damn car because of me…
And got in trouble trying to share a prescribed medicine!?!?
Go on then, penalize me…
I got more than ghosts under my bed…
Not covered by my insurance
But I ain’t scratching on bullets yet
If you are confused, I started a new treatment plan that my Primary doc put me on – it’s new – she has been to training on it – i didn’t have to go to the animal feed – and she said ID would prob not be on board (infectious disease like on ET) – only ID stated “you’re not suppose to take it that long” and I replied “I’m not ready to lose you or my medicine” but she refilled it and said she’d see me again in 2-3 months
It’s informed consent and my family don’t give a fuk and prob wish I’d hurry up and die – so i am taking my time – plus you’re my ride or die?
I blog. I’m a blogger. The spacebar NEVER works. The ai is DUMB. I want a polaroid. And now Gen Y leave their tech at the door… cuz I said I wanted a tech-free zone *rolls eyes* and now they have made a way to turn that idea viral
i hate u
sometimes
More times than not
Always stealing my ideas and making them better
Fucking snobs
Got some low dose something or another instructed to take at bedtime
It ain’t bedtime yet
Doc said it cures cancer
And the FEDS knocked down the door of the guy who made it and stated it? And she can’t get anyone in the VA to listen
I said “go on…
ID said i ain’t suppose to take it that long
But I mean it’s this or Mt Everest
Which means Utah cave crawling and I made them turn the light on for my MRI….
Prob Mt Everest
Ahh too late tho they changed the rules
Can’t go there to die (officially)
I ain’t going to Switzerland and getting in no death pod
they also have issues with “likes” not working on WordPress
so it’s not just in my head
and I tried to find the updated post about “how to post” on WP through JetPack and whatnot – but Google just isn’t the same
i just remember reading something about TAGS but maybe i’m wrong about what i read
i just know we all were using X amount and the post said X amount had been reduced to a lesser amount or else the algorithm will ignore you
kinda like that issue with that robot on mars that has too many tasks that it is overwhelmed and keeps re-prioritizing tasks that need to be done – but nothing ever gets done
they came up with a term for it
and that’s the state of me, my life, and my blog
and the fact that i leave “likes” multiple times on multiple days like a psychopath having a meltdown (this time it’s the AI and not me, swear) but you wouldn’t know? or maybe you do?
so now im leaving comments here and there going “it wont let me like anything”
“im here still” 🥹
and the ai knows i hate leaving my ip so now im being forced to give my age sex location just to breathe anywhere in society
i degress…
priority inversion problem
i swear i aint trying to cause any troubles
im just lost in hell having priority inversion malfunctions
“i know this needs done but we gotta do this first but can’t because we need to do this other thing instead”
*keeps chasing own tail*
“i keep doing but there ain’t anything done”
i think they changed the usage rules on hashtags on tiktok too – but *spins in circles*
Meanwhile, I’m going “I threw up twice”, “I had to stop taking the other pill”, “I couldn’t breathe”, “need morphine”
The morphine request was denied 🙄
But only cuz she doesn’t prescribe narcotics
I’d have to go see my primary care manager – who literally misdiagnosed and mistreats me – and the only reason I’m as bad as I am now, is I couldn’t get the treatment I needed when I went to them, “I’ve been exposed”
Them: “your labs are fine”
I started my period and though I’m 45 and in agonizing pain, bleeding on everything, I’m actually grateful I’m still ovulating.
But getting any pain medication from the VA is like asking a ghost to follow me
I’ve lost my mind so the latter is a bit easier to do
I wish I could enter the VA and state that I’m 45 still bleeding from my legs – but they’d probably complain “we don’t talk like that” – “that’s considered rude”
Because we’re suppose to enter medical establishments smiling and tap dancing and bowing for them like they’re Gods
They love to gaslight
And medical malpractice is common
Go to the library and pick up a book
One that isn’t glorifying hookers and prostitutes
Cuz those can be found on the hot shelf in the front where little children can read
You’re gonna burn hell
For all eternity
P.S. I don’t know any vet alive dying that isn’t begging for some goTdamn morphine
Stop hoarding all the junk
GIVEMAH
Haz pain 😑
P.S.S. I requested it in the form of cough syrup since the hospital gave me some and it soothed my coughing and anxiety several hours thus helping the heart
But dying and being in pain isn’t a good enough cause for some cough syrup with morphine
So how do I get me some of the “good cough syrup”!?! Asking for a friend…..
I worked hard to put on weight and now I’ve done did
When you’re trying to TikTok shop but the plagues notice that the audience is the same size as the host and then follow you 👀
The Host: “I’m not sure what you’re implying but if you don’t stop, I will have to mute or block you….”
Him: “she is the same size as you”
Him: randomly tags me without a message
Him: “I like your fit”
Anyhoo. I guess the romper/shrug was a hit.
I gained 1 more follower (that isn’t why I shopped for a romper tho, it’s a separate goal)
I’m waiting on the bodysuits & accessories to arrive.
Yesterday it was hot in Florida and today I need a coat.
Yesterday I would have passed out in anything but slides, shorts, and a tank.
Today I need Arctic gear 🥶
If the doctor told me, I was menopausal, I would punch him, call him a liar, and tell him to pay my electric bill.
Fortunately for me, even in my age, those words never sound.
And my body isn’t behaving in such a way, EARTH is
Stop deflecting ✋🛑✋
Oh this has happened lots over the last month or two, so thanks
This was last night…
And my hashtag over on TikTok has reached 23K
If I could stop dying long enough and figure out, how do use social media, I might could put out some better content
Not even better just effort
Like here, here’s a poem I wrote 5 years ago
How hard is it to do a soft reading and hit record?
Is it worth 200 views?
I’m totally satisfied at 1000 views. I feel it’s worth effort.
But with nearly 5k followers, it’s hard to make sense.
I’d probably be happy with 500-700 views consistently
I’d hate it even worse at zero
But yeah, I did buy some yoga sets and things to keep warm for the winter
The price was good 👍
I’m getting good feedback
There was only ONE BOY who got mad at me spending my own money on things I actually need
🤡
I gotta take my dog out again before he makes me start WW4
It can’t be that hard taking care of a hellhound but once again I found myself sobbing in front of a mirror like God was behind the other end begging “please I can’t do this… take him to heaven with you”
And then the other version of me saying “get ahold of yourself”
And I took bath number two cuz he ruined the first one and has driven me to full insanity
The heart needs the hot magnesium salt baths…
If the ego can’t get a fucking grip, we backtrack and start again
Insanity!
It’s like when you feel yourself starting to fall slowly but you can’t stop the grip
And next thing you know the wind has been knocked out of you
And the only words that surface as you lay there contemplating existence is “goT damm it” or “fuck”
These demons trying to ban curse words 🤡
Thank you so much for all the awesome feedback on my little jumper set! I think I paid six or 7 bucks for the jumper, about the same for the sweater (which I can mix n match)
He asked, “why do you wanna buy something you won’t wear”
And like…
Blazer + yoga set is definitely my style
Sorry not sorry 🤔
But the Lord answered my prayers
I can wear my blazers and loungewear together
THIS IS LIFE 🤩
(Don’t tell him about the makeup and hair products I’ve ordered)
(I’m literally dying but it’s a transformation)
I’m transforming
At least I know what sex I am 👀
I’m also shopping for guns as there’s a no license to carry law in Florida now
Trigger happy 🤩
Because I’m a Soldier
And we at war…
NEED GUNS
Shhhhhhhh
Cute but fierce?
My bag will contain more than makeup or maybe it will be a decoy 🤔
Anyhoo
My sister died
And now I’m making Chinese TikTok hosts into my sister
Sometimes I tune in just to hear them say “Ill try it on for you” but I’m one of their best customers and they help me sleep
I find shopping with them soothing
Retail therapy 🤩
But c’mon, I love this phase I’m moving into
I didn’t know I could wear my blazers with my yoga sets
But I can 🤩
Cuz he’s probably right a tiny bit
And I’ve talked to God
And prayed about what to do
And I knew I could part was some of the clothing and donate it or thrift it, but I was having a hard time wanting to part with any of my Blazers, even though I wasn’t sure where I could wear them
And since I’m still not washing my face per official guidelines, I’m dry as fuck
My bathwater smells like chlorine
My nails aren’t painted, I need a haircut
Tiny babe “you ain’t got any either” 😐
I’m not ready for a husband yet but am working hard with self and God to get things right
And the Devil wanna take away my smile
But the neighbors are being somewhat nicer to me now that I’m dressing in clothes that mostly fit (extra small is big and I’m not quite xxs and trying to actually put on weight) but was wearing medium and large while extra small
(I’m fighting a cancer inside me but my labs are fine)
MY LABS ARE FINE
Healthcare equals medical malpractice but we sign forms so they can hurt you with malicious intent and purpose
I’m looking to upgrade my very old but loved rebounder
Only because it squeaks and someone on TikTok complained
So I stopped sharing
And am secretly rooting for a ban hoping for a revolution
My TV is sold
No more PS4
My devices are outdated after 2 1/2 years
iPhone 12 would only be good another 2 to 3 years
News has come out that 12 and 13 may be obsolete with the new 15
I’m not paying them prices
I don’t eat with my phone
Or shit
The voicemail is probably full with malicious intent and purpose
I can post from the library but they would steal my login and data
Probably give them access to my browsing history from the last ten years
It is off
The Devil tried to murder me
I’m still here
I got some sort of superpower and you don’t know what that does to a person
There are two ways I could go
But you know me, always taking the off path
Sometimes we find things more valuable than gold, sometimes we find John Jones
He ain’t resting in peace
“I want out”
Final wish
So these Boomers sealed him in
His wife worried he was sealed in alive
“There are things that happened down there that will never be disclosed”
I started with a pot of spring water in a glass pot
Filled it with lots of wild rice (red, purple, black, brown, white) and green split peas
I dropped in a couple of my cinnamon spice sticks (secret ingredient for any stew) – along with many other spices and herbs
An entire onion (farm fresh), rosemary, thyme, salt with the necessary nutrients, pepper, a touch of the good olive oil
I also added yellow split pea, and lentil to accompany the green
Potatoes and tomatoes 🙂
And I started a 3rd mystery plant – provided by my local library. These are edibles I’m growing – and hope to add them to my special soups! I’ve never grown anything indoors before – or in a windowsill
But I have a lot of unused space in my apartment – as well as sunlight – a desire to learn – and a hungry belly for real food (not poisoned)
So now I got the “3 libras” growing in my dirty window
Homemade vegan soup (from scratch) with warm bread
The soup turned out amazing, I also added green bean and a small tin of tomato sauce for color, and will be keeping the tin to sprout some new seeds.
I added homemade pepper sauce to kick up the heat (summer sweats)
One day maybe I’ll have a husband that chases after my food instead of a prostitute
But for now I’m eating the entire pot of gold
“You said not to spend it honey, you did not say not to melt it and turn it into flakes”
(Please don’t hurt me like Bob)
Heart symbol
P.S. the vegan vegetable chunky soup took hours to simmer! Might make a fresh pot of cornbread for the leftovers tomorrow! Might can squeeze a third day/meal if I’m lucky! It’s very hearty and fulfilling! I was out of carrot! Make you a stew! Don’t wait until winter!
Cooking and fitness is part of my purpose. It may be “boring” but it’s healing my heart and giving me more time.
I dunno how I feel about “going live” again – but I probably will start sharing my fitness journey over on Instagram – and if I’m not too shy – will do some casual lives on the TikTok as well
I’m only looking to connect and be “social”, I’m not chasing the algorithm dragon for likes or paying META $15 monthly to be “verified”. Like, I would have paid that ONE TIME – but I’m not spending money to be seen.
I just want to be
I’m getting my fitness room in order and both mystery plants now have green growing (they’re in the window being bashed around by the blinds – wakey wakey)
Yoga & stretching set
Mystery plant 1
Mystery plant 2
Please note that I’m going through some sort of phase where I want to be natural – no makeup, no filters, no fancy dress, no fuss.
I am trying to fix my health, my finances, my diet, my mood, my self-esteem, and last thing I need to worry about is putting on makeup to go live or post when I’m cooking or working out.
It’s just not me.
I don’t want to have to worry about posting 4 times a day (or daily) either
And, I want to answer my inbox when I’m ready and am devoting days to be “social” so that my mood isn’t down and depressed
Furthermore, 95% of my furniture and household is gone.
I’m starting over but also want to be able to jump ship – when God allows
Right now, the enemy has us in a stronghold
Barricaded behind policy
I don’t have the latest XYZ to garner your attention
But I will share fitness tips and how I’m surviving the apocalypse
And thank you to those who have taken interest in seeing me go live again, whether to share the weather or my latest complaint
I took a long detox from social media and have been trying to find myself
I mean, I know I’m lost in purgatory/hell and am paying for my sins in this timeline
And wasted pretty much all of my life
I’m learning to be still
To stretch
Breathe
Exist in harmony with nature
I guess I took the winter hibernating
I’m trying not to climb in my coffin or a hole I can’t climb out of
I thought, how dumb was I to lose half my retirement – but then all of GEN X did –
It did help my depression to a degree (make it worse)
But it wasn’t because I was stupid
We were gutted essentially
Anyhoo, I’m a little seedling
And 4/19 is the last day my medicinal card is any good – and I blocked the doctor both via text and email
Now they’re putting less product in and calling it “head space” (and charging more)
They treat the medical shops like they are recreational
Anyway, I’m trying to get clean
It’s like the devil is coming at me
I don’t have fancy things, but what remains is what I like
I would like to follow you back – and interact – as and when I’m capable
I’m more like a turtle on social media – instead of that blazing fast coyote always getting into trouble
I mourned my social media accounts because I thought I had deleted, deleted them.
I did not.
They are there, for now.
I am #poeeternal on both accounts. My TikTok hashtag has over 20k views alone.
So – were you aware – that universities are on WordPress and require students to use WordPress to post and respond to other students post – and receive GRADED reports
Cuz that wasn’t in the Privacy policy or any of the FAQ or payment policies
I’m not just paying to reach my tribe – they are flooding the network however they can – so we can chase our tails – meanwhile the younger generations get fed with a platinum spoon – this society
We’re paying in the upwards of $300 -$600 to maintain our blogs/ websites every three years – to reach students and faculty! (Or around $150 annually)
Side-note: If you “don’t want your children to see this” stop letting them loose at Walmart and the Mall. 💀
Psst…
Halloween spider mesh bodysuit by Dolls Kill 💀
Witches Spider Cap by ROMWE on Shein 😈
Both sold out but may restock 🎃
One of my favorite new cosplay sets. I feel more myself in this attire and without loads of makeup making it theatrical and whatnot
I’m the real thang 🎃
You can’t burn me legally at the stake anymore 👻
So just wanted to see what it would feel like to do a midnight Halloween set without all the makeup and flare
I was wearing vegan flavored strawberry kissy lips and that made for an extra sweet midnight smile set (I can hook you up with a free glam bag on Ipsy) (most products are vegan) (cancellation is easy but I’m staying on for awhile) (I got a free Halloween glam kit for sign-up and love it) (you can adjust the frequency of delivery as well) 🎃
Halloween is my favorite season perhaps 🤔
Do you like my new set?
How is my petite pumpkin looking? 👀
“I don’t like your ass when you bend over, it disappears” (something someone said to me in my 20s directly after sex)
Yeah, just like any empathy I ever had for you.
Everyone has had such high standards of how my body should look 24/7 because apparently I’m supposed to be posing 24/7 that I’m afraid to even show my fucking skin because I’ll probably get yelled at for being fucking white anyway
Always told I need to “cover up” cuz they like it too much to “just be friends”
Heaven is empty and I cry a lot lol
I also talk to the dead
I have a budding relationship with John Jones
I also keep having images of him (not John) finding me hanging from a tree
The way he breaks and the strength it takes for him to not look away
To get me down…
I don’t know what’s real anymore
I’m focusing on my blog and OnlyFans for now
I’m sorry I’m not posting more yet on my free one – which I can go live on but I can’t go live on my subscribed one 😑
The way the wheels turn 💀
But I’ve started posting playful sensual videos on my OF
And as long as someone wants to support my content I’ll keep going
WordPress just emailed me telling me that I owe them $100 to keep the blog going but web links are broken and everything is chaotic inside the algorithm since they split it into
I need new web hosting and all sorts of cleanup in my life
My blog continues to remain advertising free
All my content is original
Trends make me feel obsolete and always behind
There’s always someone who can come along and do it better, I’m only ever average at anything even when I give it my all
Self-portrait October 2022 (the timeline is wrong)
I reckon I’m gonna have to bite the WordPress hook and upgrade my personal plan to the premium plan since I’ve used up all my 6GB of storage space 🙄 and just pretend the universe is pushing me to upgrade my plan so I can have more media space to upload photos but also unpack yeti from its box to do soft poetry readings and spoken word
To be fair, I have been dying
But I will also at some point maybe be producing some subscriber only content on my blog/website instead of over on OnlyFans (I don’t do porn or self-gratification, I’m an artist and do nude photography – many say softcore is obsolete, but I’ll be offering it here on my website instead- and if someone could please teach me how to set up subscriptions on WP instead of me having to go figure it out through WordPress that would be great)
I’m already on a plan that allows subscriptions and donations, I’ve just used up all my media space and either need to delete stuff off my website or upgrade and at this point it’s time to upgrade because I’m growing aren’t I? I have over 1000 followers now and nearly 100,000 views!! 👀
So when I’m not dying and can put my head into the WordPress books I will figure out how to do the subscriber only content (this won’t be for every post, just my random spicer content)!
Not everyone wants to see my exclusive Rated R nude content but I’m tired of giving other platforms my visitors – especially when most platforms I have zero voice as an artist
I don’t want to push people to another platform when they come to visit my website
I want you to stay here in heaven with me 😇
GIVE ME ALL YOUR ATTENTION 🤩
I was at urgent care yesterday again so I don’t know how quickly I’ll be able to get stuff going but just know stuff is in the pipeline and I would like to get some more nude content out to you, it will be through my own website though, you won’t have to leave or sign-up anywhere else
I’m indecisive on what I’m doing with my Patreon account but I’ve been very grateful for your support over the years!
Because of it, my website has and remains advertisement free (zero spam)!
If you sign up for my blog posts via email, advertising will never be in your email either! Zero spam!
I may be the last place on earth that’s free of advertising 🤔
But you won’t have to worry about accidentally hitting an advertisement when scrolling or installing spyware or a virus
You can scroll freely without a condom ahem 🤪
I’m dealing with heart and lung issues since I got the vaccine – I’m still a weirdo tho and I miss doing the cosplay for you to accompany the rants, poetry and prose!
I will definitely upgrade my plan soon so I can at least start attaching photographs again to my rants and poetry
It may be the new year before I start any subscription only content!
I may do it via donation instead of subscription (like where you can pay a small fee to unlock the post)…
Stay tuned
Dying but not dead…
PSST… I have a free OnlyFans and will be active there when I’m feeling better – thank you for subscribing! My inbox is open there to say hello! I’ll let everyone know when I’m back and active! I’ll be going live over there to show you the beach and things! Softcore 🤪
I guess you have to live an entire year before you’re considered that age (so does this technically mean I’m still 42 and when I’m 44 I’ll actually be 43, my age now)? 🤪
And you have to have a plus 1 to get the 1K badge from WordPress
It has arrived! 👇👇👇
Thank you so much for the follows! 👁👄👁
I love you! 💕
PSST I swear I am going to set up a blogging schedule soon, I have been gravely ill, and in the bed!
I get out every now and again for medicine, toilet paper and food
And on the occasion I stop by the beach so I can get a few frights
It’s just not normal the things going on in the world and around these parts
And I feel so bad for the people who visit the beach and try to enjoy it when I’m there because I’m hooting and hollering every few seconds and then they immediately leave, probably out of fear (lmao I’m gonna pee myself because my fear is contagious to others)
I swear when we’re on a flight and the plane starts doing shit it’s not supposed to do, when you hear me gasping, everybody on the plane is staring at me the entire time and my eyes get really big and both of my hands are clutching onto the armrest and the entire plane ahead and behind will be staring at me, but I can’t stop being scared y’all
This world frightens me and you can see it on my face
My fears don’t lie
And I’m a little girl that never grew up so anytime there’s a bug or I’m scared of something I sound like I’m being murdered lmao
I didn’t even share all the screams I had the other day when I stopped by the ocean briefly but it was even scarier than before
The clouds were hanging really low and were many different shades of gray and everything just looked doom to me and there was no lifeguard on duty and it was only 11:30 AM, it was about to be high noon and it’s uncommon because the ocean is warm but there’s no sealife anywhere, yet the ocean is still reaching the sea wall, and it’s all wet. And standing in it, surrounded by all ocean, scares the crap out of me, especially with the tide being a triple king tide that won’t leave 👀
The ocean ate the beach
The worlds most famous beach
And maybe one day we will get our beach back but I’m looking at reports that state Daytona Beach is undergoing extreme flooding over the next 30 years and buildings are falling down in Miami so you can continue to be gaslit and lied to but I’m gonna start listening with my eyes from now on
And when I’m feeling better I’m going to share a post on my blog where I can upload some photos and some videos of it
I haven’t even been watching TV or playing video games or reading, I’ve mostly just been in my bed and sleeping a lot and eating when I can
I hope I feel better soon but I may have to go to the ER for the treatment I need 👀
I’ve been avoiding it TBH
I don’t want to be held against my will and I don’t want to die there and I most certainly would probably get arrested because I would fucking leave campground and if the cops tried to stop me I would still try to leave and get out of there
I mean I would rather be in jail and have three meals a day than to be anywhere near the goddamn hospitals or clinics when I fucking die
Capeesh?
Healthcare is deathcare
My eyes are open
And just like Neo, they hurt from what they see
I don’t think I have much time left but I don’t believe any of us have much time left 👀
Blogging is my lifeline to you
My safe place
My safety net
It is the only place online I can speak freely
And not be penalized to have my intellectual property or my account removed
These businesses need us to survive and yet they treat us like shit
The only way we can get our voice back is to stop using these apps until we get some sort of freedom of speech again and stop spending our money
Only buy what you really need
In America, I’m attempting to support American owned businesses only (and small)
But I don’t believe any sign in the door and I don’t believe in the governments agenda society is a scam it’s a sham consumption is narcissism and the less stuff we have the more expensive it’s going to get and those who have the most money are going to hog it
Start looking out for you and your circle
We’re all we’ve got
And you’re welcome on my boat, it’s not very big and there’s holes everywhere
I’m heading to Point Nemo
And check out this warning from TikTok, “Participating in this activity could result in you or others getting hurt” 👇
Apparently people are getting tracked on TikTok too, children are getting kidnapped as well as adults (I don’t know if the two are the same) but social media is toxic and the devil lives in your TV and his minions use it to kidnap us
Now I hope many of you know that kidnappings take place so that people can get sexually tormented (children too)
I read an article recently where the Mexican government was working with the mafia and they sexually tortured several teenage children (in Mexico) and we allow millions and millions and millions of immigrants to come over here and live in America and they don’t give a fuck about you or our culture or traditions
They are torturing children in their own country and they come over here and they fucking torture us too
Porn has done something to the human race
The other day when I was in the Vet Center I told the guy that I would just take all responsibility and say that I am what’s wrong with the world, that I’m the problem, I’m too broken, I’m “crazy” and so I need to just not be around other people or get married and he looked dead at me and said that I’m not the one whose crazy, it’s the world that is crazy and I’m not wrong about what’s going on with porn and how it’s affecting mankind
It felt so nice to be validated by a man
I mean I’m literally walking into his office carrying my crucifix and falling fucking down
But it’s nice to hear from another male soldier that I’m not crazy
That all this shit in society is wrong and toxic
I’ve had to get off most of social media because of how toxic it is, because of the catcalling, because of the death threats, because of the stalking, because my freedom of speech is gone
I have no rights anymore
Immigration has been a Trojan horse in America!!!
I have a right to be angry!!!
My comrades are dying by suicide!!!!
I’m awake!!! I’m up!!! I can’t save you, you have to save yourself!
But, I can stand quarantined near you
I can ration supplies
Build shelter and dig trenches
Clean and fire weapons
Pull security
Disabled, not obsolete 👀
I’ve been fighting for equality for a long time, that applies for the job market and the housing market as well
You don’t get to come over here and steal all our best jobs and all our management positions and create toxic environments and then force your fucking poison drugs on us anymore
Society is a sham
And it requires consuming to work
Endless consumption
And we’re wasting our natural resources so you can have resin Knickknacks
Plastic everywhere
Plastic everything
Generica
👎👎
Anyway, I’m grateful I have a blog to voice my concerns, to share my poetry, photography, and prose
I’m grateful I have you as a reader
I can’t do this without you
I need you
So this is just as much your award as it is mine
We got here together, in this boat 🛶
Thank you for 1,000 follows! 🥰
It took the plus one to get the badge
And it takes living a year to earn that age? 🤔
So I’m not really 43 right now, I’m technically still 42?
You only need five people for a squad and I’ve got an entire army! 💪
I mean, I got pretty angry when I went down for several months after getting the vaccine and learning the type of stuff that I’ve learned and attacking the system the way that I have, I thought that I would’ve lost followers in record numbers for sure
I was so worried about posting it because my eyebrows look so messy and bushy 😌
But it was all about timing, being able to get the lines out where you could actually hear me because the ocean was really loud and I don’t have my little clip on microphone yet and I didn’t want it to sound wind muffy
The tide was super strong pulling away 💪
It pulls out with so much gravity just like you
I have to be careful not to lose my footing
It took all the courage I had just to get off the ramp and get into the ocean knowing that there’s a whole lot more ocean than normal
People are out there swimming and I’m terrified knee deep 👀
I mean, it pulls back with so much force
A tide within a tide
Of course, a black hole would have a similar path
Like Jupiter and its great red spot, a storm within a storm
I don’t know how people are swimming in it, I’m terrified
The ocean swelled up just like my heart
I also received a blog notification that my stats were booming 🥰
Well I really appreciate that!
I love your visits! I promise to come visit you soon! ❤️
“What this WHITE WOMAN”… “just another WHITE WOMAN” (why does he keep screaming about my skin color)?“You spilled all that shit out as if I’m supposed to give a fuck” (wait, what? You’re the one private messaging ME to “get to know me”. I guess you couldn’t see past my mental illness or color though)… So black and brown people don’t care about white people’s mental health according to Chris. He speaks for All Colored race… Doesn’t care “What we (white peope) think, feel, or say”… You still supporting his blog? 🤔
“Self-centered pieces of shit”- you realize he’s talking about white people, right? Then I’m called a bitch.
You still supporting this racist piece of fucking shit???
WHERE THE BLOGGERS AT?? HAD THIS BEEN REVERSED, I’D BEEN CRUCIFIED!!!
HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH. RACISM EXISTS IN 2021 AGAINST WHITE PEOPLE!!!
Hi guys. It’s my birthday today. And also the 12th edition of The Saturday Symphony. How auspicious is that? Here’s a little senryu to kick us off; With Age I Welcome Wisdom This week’s three featured posts The games of sorcerers by Olga – If you’re a Tolkien geek like me, you won’t find a […]
A very happy birthday to Jude! And thanks for featuring my work over on the Saturday Symphony! (Please visit the original blog post by clicking on the blog post shared). 👍
So, Twitter banned me from doing several actions for three days but yesterday I was allowed back and I started a peeing poll right away. Yes, you heard correctly. I needed to lighten the load from politics and pandemics to peeing. Sometimes I’m not online because I’m not allowed to be. LOL LOL I’m not little miss perfect after all… 😂
I am a writer so of course I tried to make the poll interesting! And the votes coming in are amusing! So what say you, is peeing in the shower cool or not? Inquiring minds want to know…
OMG y’all, this pandemic/quarantine/shutdown has left me gasping to find inspiration. I haven’t got to go to one gig this year to see a band I love or anything and that’s what I’m pretty much alive for. I haven’t got to get in my Jeep and just travel for hundreds of miles to another state to go see a band I love or a friend. Zero road trips. I’m alive for the arts. Music. Poetry. Drink. Freedom of choice. And I fought for these things too.
But borders are closing. Hospitals overflowing. Information disclosing. Opinions opposing. People exposing.
There’s been little to live for but alot to be said. And for the record, I am PRO MASK. I worked as an EMT medic for many years, in the hospitals, in the fields, and in combat zones. There’s not anything you’re going to say that’s going to defer my opinion from what the CDC is putting out. Or from what my training and experience has taught me. And I’m the kind of person that would gladly get back in the Army just to have the right to enforce that on you. I was an excellent soldier, and once a soldier, always a soldier. HOOAH. And there are medics that are actually returning to the government military just to help with this pandemic. Wear a mask. 😷
I have found some inspiration during this epidemic and that’s the amount of traffic and feedback I’ve been getting on my poetry and on my blog/ website. And for some reason it just inspires me to keep writing and sharing. Despite the terrible lows and hailing cries. Despite the unfollows and lost patrons. I am moving on. I go from barefoot to combat boots. I am both feminine and masculine. Soft and hard. Together and messy. Life is complicated. But I created my blog as a safe place to write. And I’ve even done monstrous things here but life goes on and I do not dwell. I’m evolving. Sometimes I turn into the monsters I am slaying. Hive mind. Even from the depths of hell, I can’t control all of me, all the time *gasp*. But I blame big Pharma and depression just as much as I do myself.
Sometimes I stop and commend myself for making it this far. For all the storms I’ve actually gone through, not just the internal ones, but the real ones. Sandstorms. Hurricanes. Unfit parents. Sexual, verbal, and physical abuse survivor. War. (I’d even throw childbirth in there and a rib tattoo, broken bones, sickness). STORMS. 🤓
I’ve got enough medals and awards from the military that I could fill an entire wall but nothing makes me happier than to see my blog hit FIFTY THOUSAND VIEWS. 50,000 visits to my little home on the web!!! 😍
I read through the WordPress FAQ some time ago to see if my own IP/visits are counted / included and THEY ARE NOT (though the do keep track of authors separately because you can have multiple authors on a single blog (which is why you can see yourself in the stats but if you go read the FAQ you will see that it clearly does not count towards your view/visit counts to your own blog!!
My blog has also been getting more follows too, the current tally is 834 blog followers and if I ever hit 1K I will squeal! I am a terrible blogger in that my depression and anxiety keeps me isolated, so I’m not social, but I put everything I have into the words I bring you. I’m genuine, I’m just emotionally unavailable. Maybe my soul is leaking from my pen and now you all have bits of me. I’m giving you all I have.
Your feedback and comments and support is a treasure surely and though I oft little share it in return, I am grateful for you. I’ll even protect you and take a bullet for you but hold your hand, no. Sometimes people ask me what my sexuality is or my nationality and I say vampirism. I walk the streets of hell alone, it is my duty. I cannot be sidetracked by lust and sins, be gone demons. I’ve had enough. Mine is tempered and sleeping this decade off because- Apophis 2029. I’m only interested in spiritual healing, positive energy, and mental growth. I’m dying. The end is painful but the environment must be peaceful, dig? I don’t want you in my foxhole. But near. Tell me of beauty and poetry. I’m entitled to die how I want. If they made assisted suicide legal, I’d be on that bandwagon in a heartbeat.
Depression is and can be TERMINAL. The methods for treating depression are barbaric. From foxholes to thorazine hazed padded rooms. Fuck you. My diary 2020. Bringing it to you live right now. This year so far, on top of this pandemic, I was nearly hospitalized without my permission, taken in the back of a cop car, to a hospital so my mental health could be evaluated before they decided if they were going to withhold me, for a minimum of one week (7 days), without my permission, without any way to escape, without my service dog, my phone, or even the clothes on my back. In fact, while I was waiting in a locked room, they removed all of my clothing and items and gave me a hospital gown. 4 hours later the doctor saw me and agreed I was fit enough to return home. Which was great because I had already pre-warned the cop that if I was separated from my dog I was about to turn into a criminal with a record… but also, recently as the shutdown was happening here in Florida, I got pulled over by three cops in 3 cop cars with their lights going for not doing a full stop at the sign. A tiny fraction of a rolling stop- 3 cops. And I nearly died of a heart-attack. And white privilege was definitely not rolling around in my head, more like fear, but it did help that I was a damsel in distress and (kind of cute but my dog is cuter), but I didn’t yell at the cops either, or give them any more reasons to come at me hostilly cuz they weren’t fucking around… anyhoo that was probably my 8th life out of 9 cat lives lived/used… my luck and time is running out. But also, lesson learned STAY HOME.
2020 has mostly been lows but the blog love has been a lifeboat, a lighthouse, and even a life jacket and I can breathe a little. There’s nothing worse than my freedom being threatened. But I’ve been responsible for it being threatened every time, my worst enemy is me.
Fuck defundung the police. How about giving back the rights to vote to voters who are back in society. Think about all the people in America who cannot vote because of the War on Drugs, marijuana is becoming legal in a lot of States, but there are still people behind bars for marijuana offenses. WRONG. FREE THE PEOPLE. FREE THE PLANT. STOP THE WAR ON DRUGS. WE NEED REFORM IN JAILS AND PRISONS. We need to give people back their right to vote!!! “But voting doesn’t make a difference” fuck you- IT DOES. Utilize your right to vote! Florida had on the ballot to give back prior criminals the right to vote and it passed and I was there voting on that issue, I voted yes, give them their rights back to vote, so luckily people who have gone to jail or prison over the War on Drugs at least in Florida now have the right to vote again, fucking use your voice, it works! And yes I know all about the NWO / New World Order Illuminati, I know they exist, but on a state-level voting helps.
Anyway, I’m not allowed to talk about politics or religion or even what kind of medications I’m allowed to put in my own body because I will literally lose followers and supporters… Someone out there right now is probably unfollowing me because I am pro mask and pro medicinal marijuana. Or pro-voter. I’ve lost followers for not being Christian enough. For vampire cosplay. For not being sexually available for their needs. For not giving them my precious energy or time. For showing my boobs. For not showing my boobs. I mean, all I have to do is wake the fuck up and I’ll lose a follower. Here, there, everywhere. It’s frustrating. It’s meant to hurt. It always does. And sometimes I even run off followers with a duststorm following behind. It’s regretful yes. I’ve even sent hatemail. UGGG. THE CROSS I CARRY. CURSED. Sometimes I know what caused the manic outbreaks. I’m just trying to get to a point in my life where I don’t react. Zen. I also get my Jeep paid off in October which will be my last car payment and that will bring me some financial freedom and I’ll be out of the financial apocalypse that I found myself in. Then I’m saving for a trip to the UK. VACA. TRAVEL. The thing I live for. MUSIC. BUSH. BANDS.
Thanks for reading my blog! For following! For liking and commenting! For re-blogging or sharing my work! For dealing with my anti-social behavior and mood swings. For forgiving me of my mistakes and still loving me when I make them because you see that I’ve put in effort to get better or change. For trying to listen and learn about depression. For allowing me to be completely transparent with you. For letting me decide things and then change my mind. For letting me experiment with who I am and what is art. For letting me share my sexuality without there being some form of sexual harassment that always follows. For letting me just be me and not having to give you anything in return (tid for tat). For liking me despite my flaws. For encouraging me to keep writing!! For reading my rhyme!!! There just aren’t many people who are into rhyming poetry or even that many rhyming poets left!! So I’m grateful for you! And I need so much space currently to write. I need the space to be a certain energy or vibe. I don’t have time or energy to piss away, I have so much left to say and so little mood or energy to do it!! Thanks for listening! THANKS FOR 50,000 VISITS TO MY BLOG. HOLY SHIT. I love you. 😍
Screenshot of my pinned tweet by the amazing actor, Val Kilmer who said he LOVED my handle (my Twitter name which is my pseudonym/pen name on the web and under which I write /publish poetry).
As a writer, it was cool to get a compliment about my pen from one of my favorite actors since I was 10 years old, and first saw him in the film Willow. Loved him in Batman, The Doors, and so many more movies!! I wish I could get my hands on some of Kilmer’s poetry. And I’m devastated I sold my first edition poetry book by Jim Morrison on Ebay but financial apocalypse… (it was either going to be an heirloom for my child or it was going to be loot in my tomb).
I’m sorry the audio is out of synch with the video. I tried recording 20 times, 2 different devices, restarting device & internet, still not in sync. Accepted life is messy and not perfect. Edited and posted anyway for effort and because 50K!!Amazed50K!!! Edgar Allan Poe sends his regards 😆I was up all night nearly patiently waiting for my blog to roll over to 50,000 views. This was 10 views away from 50K. And I missed 50,000, when it turned it was already at 50,003!! 🤓If you’re bothered by a little bra showing, it’s Florida m’kay, nearly 100 degrees here… no filter. Thanks for 50K!!! I luv u!!! My 50K smile 😆I don’t have just a few freckles, in reality, I have more freckles on my body than existing galaxies… For realz (just change ‘outing’ to ‘anything I said yes to’ instead)
If you enjoyed this post or enjoy this blog and would like to make a donation to support my creativity, you can donate to my PayPal here: https://www.paypal.me/deliaross
Or, if you dig my writing, and would like to support my on-going creativity, subscribe to my Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
I like teasing the senses. The art of sensuality. LSD; love, sensuality, devotion. My creed.
I like teasing the senses. The art of sensuality. LSD; love, sensuality, devotion. My creed.
Below are some videos and photography of waterplay (no not that hardcore, desensitized porn stuff). Just a gal in a bath tub capturing the movement of shadows in candlelight, hair in water & the softness of me (despite my iron thick walls). There is slight nudity in some of the videos (do not watch if mild nudity offends). Angels are warriors but there is some softness remaining under my iron armor and Kama Sutra is an interest and focus in my life. I’m interested in soft spots and openings in hearts, minds, and bodies. Hardcore desensitizes not only your senses but your mind (plastic too). Sensuality brings enlightenment. I am the darkness, show me the light. I am the fire, give me air. The 4 elements of life. Breathe devotion and love into me. Don’t come into my life to show me roughness. I’m interested in softness. Show me your soft spots. Touch the places in me few ever go…
Waterplay (not that hardcore stuff)Playing with my softnessWater + long hair Bath playtime zenBlack n’ white ❤zenI love waterplaying around with film and editing ❤❤Petite & 100% all natural I do like cherries 🙂hi
I don’t want hardcore. I know hardcore. I survived a war with guns and fighting and people dying (I served 15 hard years in the Army). I want something more. Peace. Tranquility. Sensuality. Love. Poetry. The sound of your voice in my ear. Your footsteps are the beats of my heart. Let me listen. Quiet the things that make you spiral out of control. Focus on LSD; love, sensuality, devotion. ❤
P.S. scroll to the very bottom of this post for bonus footage! ❤
If you enjoyed this post or enjoy this blog and would like to make a donation to support my creativity, you can donate to my PayPal here: https://www.paypal.me/deliaross
If you dig my writing, and want to support my art and blog, you can subscribe to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
I hope you enjoyed these Thank you for visiting my blogxoxoxxooBe sure to follow my blog! Thank you for reading this far!! 🙂
If you enjoyed this post hit the like button or leave me a comment below so I know (you won’t believe how much time it took to create this content and publish it)! 🤓
Hi guys. If you’re reading this, I’m happy you’re well enough to do so. I know these times are tough. The Saturday Symphony, is a brand new weekly feature by yours truly. But before we get into what it’s about, here’s some poetry for the soul, Apathy Up, on a lonely cloud Watching what goes […]
Hi. I’m on a tiny posting break because I’ve been posting poetry nearly on the daily for the better part of 2 years now. And now I have a Patreon where I write as well. So, before I burn out, I’m chilling out. I also share poetry on my Instagram that I don’t share here and despite being on a break I’m still writing poetry.
With that said, there are some great writers on WordPress. And I really would like to get to know you better and your work. So drop links to your books and projects here, and I will slowly start to buy some (I’ve already bought one bloggers book and joined another bloggers Patreon campaign). My finances have been a wee tight because I pay all my own bills but life is not worth living without entertainment and I’m not alive just to pay bills. So drop your stuffs! And if you know that I’ve already bought your book, drop your link anyway because someone else might want it.
If you don’t have a book or a project to promote, then drop the link to your website or your blog so I can give you a visit.
By-the-way, I’m grateful for your support on my blog. Your comments, your likes, your follows, your visits. It’s all appreciated. Big thanks. I hope you are well and keeping safe. I’ll be back to reading your blogs soon.
If you dig my writing, you can support my advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
I love you. And I’ve got so much, I don’t know where to put it all. So sending love, lots of love. Because any one of us could be gone at any minute. And I don’t want to waste an ounce of my love. I’m just going to keep giving it until I can’t. And these are very dark days. But the love is the light. Stay in the light. Don’t let hate and anger become dark matter. They say there’s more darkness than there is light in the world, so in a way, the light is always fighting to be seen. And I believe that our souls are energy and that energy goes somewhere when we die. Energy seems to be the only thing that’s constant. And my love. I may be petite but my love is expanding like the universe. Spiral out, keep going… 😊 xxoo
I woke up like dis! No filter Monday (go with me here, in isolation, all the days are the same). I know, I’m always a day late and a dollar short. It’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these and I normally do them on Instagram but Instagram wants to zoom the photos so I decided I’m going to do it on my blog today. No filter, no fancy lighting, no special camera tricks, no makeup, no plastic, no dye, no unique location, no cool clothing, not even coffee. Alas, just me early in the mornings and my eyes are still sleepy as I type this. Just plain and boring me. Freckles and hazel eyes, as I was born eons ago. And believe me it was eons ago. Decades upon decades. Oh, I feel a poem coming. Anyhoo. To be fair, many people have tried to change me over the years by pushing plastic on me (I still refuse to have any plastic on me because I like to feel my surroundings, therefore plastic surgery or fake nails, fake eyelashes, or any other fake stuff will never be part of my existence, sorry not sorry). I still get complaints of today that I don’t wax my eyebrows or get fake tans so I look like the color orange. I tried fake nails once for 2 weeks and I couldn’t feel a thing I touched and my fingernails themselves couldn’t breathe, gross. Plastic limits your sensories. There’s a disconnect from your soul. And there’s actually a movement that’s forming where women are getting their breast implants removed so that they can feel good again because they’re lethargic all the time and they can’t feel their surroundings. And dudes wonder why they can’t make their girl cum. Maybe if you stop pushing them to be fake they could feel things again. I don’t expect this to be a popular opinion but I’ve literally had guys tell me that they don’t like my boobs because they’re not fake. How dare you. Like, I’m a real individual. Don’t fucking diss me because I don’t live up to your standards of what real should be. You should never body shame a woman because they choose to not have their body parts cut off and removed. Like, I even breastfed my child an entire year. How dare you. Stop peer pressuring women into getting plastic surgery and body shaming them. How dare you. I’ve actually had to push through a lot of traumas because of people body shaming me for being real. How dare you. Anyway, it hasn’t been easy but alas I am 41 years old and still 100% natural. And being unmarried is a choice. A CHOICE. I am a fiercely strong and fiery independent woman. Hear me roar. Ahem, so now that I got that off my chest, I kinda feel better. Isn’t that kinda the entire purpose for writing? And I know some of my opinions aren’t popular but I’m not going to silence my voice any longer. But also, if I don’t learn to love myself I’m going to always be chasing after people who don’t love me as well. That ends today. So when you see me liking my own post or commenting to myself, it’s called self-love and you should try it.
P.S. I am in no way a vain person. And if body morphing is your thing cool, I support you. It’s your body. I just don’t feel like men/women/society should peer pressure women into doing it which has been my experience and it’s happened so many times and I’ve even had women complain that I don’t have a tan or my eyebrows waxed etc… the only modifications that I have and will likely get more of are tattoos and piercings. I gave up dying my hair as a resolution this year and so far I’ve stuck to it but I’m definitely not going to apologize that my hair color kind of looks faded. It’s also in its growing out phase. I took a razor to the side of my head last year, so I still have a good portion of my head with maybe 3 or 4 inches grown in. My hair is a mess. 😃
I currently weigh in at 120 lb at height 5’6″ and tiny Cinderella feet…
P.S.S. I’m getting ready to kick off an intense workout routine cuz I wanna cosplay and look gooddddd. I still need to tone up. I lost over 60 pounds (my last relationship was a nightmare and by the time I went no contact I weighed in at over 176 lb). If you are dating a narcissist go no contact and never look back. I did. And he still spies on me. Hoping he gets the *cough cough* I’m not even going to say it out loud cuz I don’t want that kind of karma on me but you know what I want to say… 😂
P.S.S. it takes a lot of courage to be yourself these days. 👍
If you dig my writing, you can support my advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Hi my loves. My introvertness has met maximum overload and I feel I am about to go cause some trouble in town. Maybe a toilet paper riot is what I need after all? This social distancing is starting to do my head in. How are you holding up? Tells me!!
MANDATORY SOCIAL DISTANCING. UGGGGG OVER IT! 2 AM BOREDOMSI mean, it’s a good idea if you don’t want to catch the Corona I iz boreddddddd (2 AM insomniac who sleeps in her eye makeup and wakes up looking like a $2 whore)Make it stopsIf you’re going crazzzzy out of your mind during this mandatory social distancing, just remember, it’s a normal response.
It’s been a minute since I’ve shared one of these, half broken dreams and poetry. It’s like I’m ripping apart from the seams. Go ahead, take a piece of me.
How foolish to believe he could love a girl like me A girl who’s good and full of integrity How stupid to think I had any charm I’m just a girl avoiding harm
But the sun it never sleeps And my heart it always weeps But the secrets that you carry Are too much for one to bury
I am hard on the edges Always hanging off of ledges He is soft as a peach A heart enriched and simply sweet
He is a moving sea Wrapped up in poetry The way it moves with me So gently
The emptiness settles over me like fog rolling over hills and mountains…
If only he’d given us a chance, we might have got it right.
He’s like a midnight haunting I’m always wanting The way he taunts me It’s like he wants me
Taking off my clothes on some days is harder than facing an enemy with a bomb…
SelfieSelfie
Their tongues instantly went in orbit around each other.
He has a different touch It’s not layered with thorns And underneath his surface There isn’t any horns
Her lips turn centuries The way he lets her hang onto forever She burns like midnight oil But like a wildfire let her burn Then the seeds will come
You just sit there letting yourself harden Where is your heart then May I still tend?
You, you are home Your words my magic kingdom Your mind a wicked garden Your voice my heart’s beacon
Why does she get all of the reward?
She’s putting lipstick on her cracks As she crawls around his back Any love for her I lack
I am married to doubt My tears falling devout Like rain coming down a sprout I’m given out
Danger here be the heart. All poetry be in my veins.
It comes at me like three round burst The anxiety is getting worse The loss of hope is where it hurts
History is going to be written whether we succeed or fail.
Keep your heart open they say But now uninvited guests have come to stay
Condemnation building like condensation.
Truth bites and barks like a rabid dog I pretend there is life in the lie Reason knocks hurrily like he’s got somewhere to be I told him to get lost I drowned him with liquor
I can’t stand anything in my closet and I need a makeover. But I also can’t seem to throw away anything from my closet. But I also wouldn’t wear any of it anywhere. I’m also in between sizes where everything is either too big or too small (because I’m not toned up yet). And I might be having an identity crisis. Helps.
tank with a cross ugg donation pile now Jacket keep, tank gotta go into the donation pileMy hair is still air drying here.. it gets fluffier and longer as it dries and 1/4th of the other side of my head is still growing back (and is only maybe three inches now)Ever been with a petite babe!?! Not saying I’m a babe…but most dudes pass me up cuz I’m tinyWet hair don’t care but the clothes gotta go…I’ve had this little satin dress, since Jesus was walking the Earth, and that was the last time I wore it too…It gotta go…I’m hanging onto things that I’m never going to wear again but can’t let go…The leggings and Depeche Mode shirt can stay…They don’t have holes yet…But I’d wear them with holes anyway and I’m sure there’s several band T-shirts I need to get rid of but I need helps 😂Goodnight wherever you’re at
Hi! Just a quick message to let you know I’ve shared my top 9 posts of 2019, as loved by you, on my Instagram, in my Instagram story, if you’d like a chance to see them! They definitely were highlights of the year, if not my life!!! I’m glad they made my top 9, although one was certainly shocking. You can check out my Instagram here, and I’ve highlighted the story, so it should remain in a thread after the story ends in 24 hours. The story can be accessed where my avatar is, if you are unfamiliar with how Insta stories work. Thanks for all the love y’all in 2019! If you’d like to be part of it for 2020, come give me a follow, no pressure though!
Thank you so much for making 2019 an incredible year for writing. I know there have been bumps and bruises, as such with life, but I am grateful for your visits, for your follows, for your feedback, and for you encouraging me to continue writing! Back in January this year my blog was at 5K, and my goal was to try to get to 10K by the end of the year! My blog just hit 35,000 visits, I am astound! Goal achieved and surpassed! My blog is also nearing over 14,000 visitors, that’s incredible! It still amazes me that I have people that visit my blog and read my poetry!! THANK YOU for giving my life meaning! I have grown as a person so much this year! I am still reflecting back on all the ups and downs and renewing my energy for 2020. I hope to see you in the new year. I wish you all the very best! Happy holidays! xxoo @POEETERNAL
P.S. I am on Instagram and Twitter under my pen POEETERNAL if you’d like to give me a follow. It’s pretty much the only social media networks I regularly visit. Though I am still a ghost on other platforms, I rarely use them.
Sometime in January of this year I realized my blog was at 5k and it struck a fire in me to start writing more. I figured it would take until the end of the year to even reach 10K but that was my new goal for the year. Writing is therapeutic for me and so I started nurturing my blog by writing more, and nearly on a daily basis this entire year. I kept writing because you kept reading. And here we are now and my blog is a few hundred hits away from 35,000 worldwide views. Incredible. Having 10K visits to my blog is such an achievement for me and for someone who writes poetry which is a hard field to get noticed in. Just ask Edgar Allan Poe. I am grateful for my readers. I can’t make any promises on what 2020 will bring, but I can say you made my 2019 very fulfilling. And even though there have been a few bumps along the way, I hope to go into 2020 with an open heart. And so if I have wronged you, I ask for your forgiveness. And if you have wronged me, I forgive you. Happy holidays and Friday the 13th and last Full Moon of the year. Sending you positive energy, and good vibes along the wire. I love all of yous.
Friday the 13th means pizza, chips, soda and free movie on Vudu kind of day… But it’s also a full moon and I feel like dancing…Which I’m definitely going to need to do after eating a large cheese pizza, no judgment xoxoI hope there are no hard feelings, I am learning to “let go”. “My enemies are turning into my teachers”All my love, always xxx
You shouldn’t lead someone on if you never have the intentions of loving them.
You should give people a real chanceat love if you are truly searching for a real connection.
If it’s a game of use and muse, the stakes should be known.
I was used, I was lead down a bullshit path, and I was never given a proper chance. He awoke me to the possibility of love without the intentions of ever loving me. And I am the full package and I also know that we’re compatible. But, it was all head games for him. I honestly wish I had never met him (virtually). Or gave any of the very best parts of me (poetry) to him.
Juggling bills
Swallowing pills
Killing the feels
Offering new deals
Promising cheers
Wherever there’s thrills
Upgrading my skills
Prepping for chills
Losing our wills
Marching in drills
Love without refills
Regarding likes and comments, I will never like a post unless I’ve actually read it. I would comment more but I am weird and have a difficult time fitting in due to anxiety. Please take the time to read something I post if you’re going to hit the like button. I feel like bloggers are hitting like without reading, just so they can get likes in return. Tid for tat. But it’s heartbreaking to spill my words on these pages for free for you and you don’t even take the time to read the content, you’re just coming along giving my post a ton of likes and you’re not making any effort to listen to anything I do. It makes me want to isolate even more.
If I leave you two or three words under a post you’ve made, you should appreciate that just as much as someone who’s giving you an entire paragraph, you don’t know how hard it was for me to even reach out to you to start with.
All I’m asking is for you to please take the time to read a post before you “like it”, the same respect and courtesy I give to you, your writings, your blog, your time. I read you, I see you. Please see me. I’ve been used and ghosted enough. ✌
First off let me just say, I am a kinky bitch. I am in no way ashamed of my body, even though for many years many people tried to make me feel bad for being petite and for not being made of plastic. You see, I may not have fake hair, fake eyelashes, fake nails, fake tits, fake tans, or fake personalities, etc, because I actually like to feel and sense my surroundings. I want to feel the things I’m touching and the things that are touching me and plastic is a barrier. And so, what you see is what you get. I shouldn’t have to remove my panties to find a good lover. Everyone is so desensitized these days, but not me. Even that plastic vibrator you’re using is keeping you disconnected and from real connection. I’ve traveled the world, I could have bought breast many times over, but I love myself too much to fall for society’s standards. I’m not a slut and I’m not asking you for money but generally girls who remove their panties are in fact asking you for money one way or the other. Whether it be a print or a book collaboration. So I am kinky, I am a vampire, I like kinky sex but I’m very private about my sexual life. I never said the blogger was fucking everyone, I said she’s fucking one person. And living in Alaska doesn’t rule you out of fucking sex.
Stop judging me by the covers I refuse to take off and start seeing me for my actual worth. I am not close-minded. But she is a sex worker, stop fucking being blinded by the shades and wording she is using. I DON’T LIKE HER AND HE SHOULDN’T BE WITH HER. BAD INFLUENCE.
Many of you are excellent writers, and I wanted to recommend Blurb, a self-publishing company that is among the best out there. You may not get rich by self-publishing (some authors have, like Stephanie Meyers) but you will have a sense of accomplishment and pride that will flourish for your written gems. And the best thing is, you’ll keep 100% of your rights 100% of the time and you will have control over your book 100% of the time! They offer insanely great discounts to buy multiple copies of your own book as well (so you can sell them at full price wherever you go/travel)!!! The neat thing is, your book will get its own page on the Blurb website so people can buy your book, and you will also be able to create discounts for holidays and stuff (if you want). I have researched MANY self-publishing sites, and this one is among the best. I published with Xlibris over a decade ago, but had I known of Blurb, I would have published with them. In fact, when the time comes for me to do book number two, I will be using Blurb. It’s not about fame or money, it’s about securing a spot for your writings for when you are long gone. IT IS YOUR LEGACY. In two hundred years, people aren’t going to care if you self-published, and who knows, it may be your poetry that they are studying in schools in the future. Just a reminder that Edgar Allan Poe died broke and unknown, he did not become famous until after his death. Sadly this is the life of most poets. BUT, YOU ARE STILL WORTHY OF YOUR OWN BOOK. IT’S NOTEXPENSIVE TO DO THROUGH BLURB!!! If you’ve ever considered publishing, go explore the website. I know there’s a growing trend of bloggers creating their own publishing company and other bloggers submitting works, BUT there is another route. Stand out from the crowd, by offering your own book. I just wanted to share the know. Personally, I don’t like giving over my rights to my own writings to anyone (especially to just another blogger, I don’t care if they are God). Nuff said. Let me know if you decide to publish, drop your book link here when you do. I am not associated or affiliated with Blurb in any way, I am just sharing the know. Knowledge is power, I thirst for it.
WOOT WOOT NOW GO MAKE YOUR OWN BOOK! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! YOU KNOW YOU WANNA!!! 😄
Also, since I have published a book, I do know a little bit about self-publishing so… this book is expensive, I know. It’s a coffee table book and it’s full color, with front and back cover. I don’t expect you to buy it. When I make book number 2, it’s going to be small and black and white. Hence cheaper. But if you want something fancy for your coffee tables, I recommend the hardback it’s gorgeous. You can find my softback on Amazon for a bit cheaper (especially if you catch a sale). I took my book off the market but decided to make it available again in 2017 (hence the 2017 date, that’s not actually when I published it originally). Anyway, if you have any questions about self-publishing, I’m your gal. I know a few tidbits. 😃
I wanna come, so then I go
You say go fast, so I go slow
You say goodbye, I’m at hello
I drop a bomb, for afterglow
I sleep outside my own prison gate I build a wall to suffocate And any trespasser I will violate Just come near me and you will ache
I am good but I am bad
I am happy but I am sad
I am boring but I am rad
I think I died in Baghdad
I am the pleasure but he is the pain
No matter the blood, I need him the same
I laid down my gun and this isn’t a game
You have the key to open my chain
He is the stable, I am a wild horse Maybe it is hate, I don’t know the force And if he loves me, it is only in fourths I have looked for love but I can’t find the source
“My indecision is final…”I always gots rosey cheeks and freckles (Alabama, circa 2015)Missouri (AKA MISERY) Circa 2007ishIraq circa 2003 Tennessee barely sixteen Florida circa 2016ish Tennessee age 18 with my 9 month old baby that I breastfed a solid year (my hair is nearly that long again *squee* but this is my natural color, brunette with hazel eyes)(Self, age 18, kiddo 9 months) A hippy goth in docs, nothing much has changed 🙂 (age 18)The 90s, the best and worst decade of my lifeI iz evolving (Florida, my birthday 2019)
PoeEternal 