When youβre trying to TikTok shop but the plagues notice that the audience is the same size as the host and then follow you π
The Host: βIβm not sure what youβre implying but if you donβt stop, I will have to mute or block youβ¦.β
Him: βshe is the same size as youβ
Him: randomly tags me without a message
Him: βI like your fitβ
Anyhoo. I guess the romper/shrug was a hit.
I gained 1 more follower (that isnβt why I shopped for a romper tho, itβs a separate goal)
Iβm waiting on the bodysuits & accessories to arrive.
Yesterday it was hot in Florida and today I need a coat.
Yesterday I would have passed out in anything but slides, shorts, and a tank.
Today I need Arctic gear π₯Ά
If the doctor told me, I was menopausal, I would punch him, call him a liar, and tell him to pay my electric bill.
Fortunately for me, even in my age, those words never sound.
And my body isnβt behaving in such a way, EARTH is
Stop deflecting βπβ
Oh this has happened lots over the last month or two, so thanks
This was last nightβ¦
And my hashtag over on TikTok has reached 23K
If I could stop dying long enough and figure out, how do use social media, I might could put out some better content
Not even better just effort
Like here, hereβs a poem I wrote 5 years ago
How hard is it to do a soft reading and hit record?
Is it worth 200 views?
Iβm totally satisfied at 1000 views. I feel itβs worth effort.
But with nearly 5k followers, itβs hard to make sense.
Iβd probably be happy with 500-700 views consistently
Iβd hate it even worse at zero
But yeah, I did buy some yoga sets and things to keep warm for the winter
The price was good π
Iβm getting good feedback
There was only ONE BOY who got mad at me spending my own money on things I actually need
π€‘
I gotta take my dog out again before he makes me start WW4
It canβt be that hard taking care of a hellhound but once again I found myself sobbing in front of a mirror like God was behind the other end begging βplease I canβt do thisβ¦ take him to heaven with youβ
And then the other version of me saying βget ahold of yourselfβ
And I took bath number two cuz he ruined the first one and has driven me to full insanity
The heart needs the hot magnesium salt bathsβ¦
If the ego canβt get a fucking grip, we backtrack and start again
Insanity!
Itβs like when you feel yourself starting to fall slowly but you canβt stop the grip
And next thing you know the wind has been knocked out of you
And the only words that surface as you lay there contemplating existence is βgoT damm itβ or βfuckβ
These demons trying to ban curse words π€‘
Thank you so much for all the awesome feedback on my little jumper set! I think I paid six or 7 bucks for the jumper, about the same for the sweater (which I can mix n match)
He asked, βwhy do you wanna buy something you wonβt wearβ
And I knew I could part was some of the clothing and donate it or thrift it, but I was having a hard time wanting to part with any of my Blazers, even though I wasnβt sure where I could wear them
Double penalized on TikTok for leaving a positive review.
Gotta walk on eggshells to avoid a ban.
TikTok rewarded me with a $15 coupon for the ass beating tho.
Then during the live chat to figure out WHY Iβm in the doghouse, I was nearly booted for inactivity after being asked to wait 2-3 minutes to sort itβ¦
Damned if I do, damned if I donβt
Ah reward
But the 15 dollar coupon helpedβ¦
I was pretty heated after taking time to review and upload photos to help support my review as itβs allowed – only to get penalized for giving a 5* ratingβ¦
Itβs hell down hereβ¦
I bought a romper from the TikTok shopping
And some other things. Better photos when/if I stop breaking out in hives. π
The TikTok is still heating up and Boomers donβt like being called Boomers but they make up most of the HOUSE of CONGRESS
Therefore, I will not comply about referring to them as βpoliticiansβ.
One replied that they were enjoying their retirement and I told them congratulations, enjoy. All the Boomers will be gone by the 60s.
He probably never looked at it like that (forest for trees) and the comment remains unliked
They say any traffic is good traffic but I did block someone commenting multiple times
Iβm very open, exposed, and raw delivering such heavy content such as βI lost half my retirement but it wasnβt because I was stupid, all Gen X did – so I feel slightly worse.β
Iβm backing it up with real evidence tho (just not personal statements tho some comments phish for it)
Boomers wonβt admit to any wrong doing, ever (prove me wrong).
Gen Y & Z should back X up in the fight to remove the Boomers from HOUSE
We work hard to make them first for them to throw us scraps Well I don’t give a fuck anymore I deleted the app
Thank you for beating me so that I could enjoy more of my free time and not support this fucking insanity
My PS4 is packed up – and ready to be sold at the pawn
My TV is never turned on
IDGAF
*locked and loaded*
*opens door*
COME GET ME YOU FUCKS ππ
Places to find me offline: the firing range π
Places to find me online in the future: OnlyFans (potentially – but not for porn – but definitely nude modeling cuz self-love & cosplay & photography bring me purpose – and I enjoy producing my own content for my blog & not plagiarizing from upsplash or whatever those sites are
THERE’S A GOOD CHANCE I MIGHT DIE ON THE STREET LIKE EDGAR ALLAN POE
But then someone bought me 2 vegan nail polishes from my Amazon wishlist – and that also brings me purpose
There were only 10 left in that color when it was added to my list & now there are only 9
And it’s part of my favorite color of the rainbow
And it is a birthday gift
I’m grateful for the 2 new vegan nail polishes – they don’t have any of the bad poison or chemicals in them – and having pretty nails will boost my self-esteem
Painting my nails is part of my mindfulness practices and my therapist agrees with it
Color is a mood changer – water too – or just introducing a calming element when you are about to take out the entire city
It’s been several years since I’ve got to celebrate my birthday since I’ve been fighting this illness and basically since the pandemic started
I’m lucky to be alive and I’m still in recovery
I’m still quarantined and can’t have no fun
Basically photography is the only thing I can focus on and I want to focus on so I’m thinking of getting on onlyfans in the potential future
I need an adult account – not for tacky tasteless content
But to be an adult and post what I want (no porn or self gratification – I want to focus on sensual content and being a female – I like cosplay even tho I’m not very good with the makeup aspects of it)
I was on it once before and made it to the top 20s just doing nude modeling & I was going up against giant creators
I want to focus on just the content I put out – and my tribe I draw – if any. I don’t want to compare my account to other accounts and what they are doing and what I should be doing and how much I should post and how much I should charge and this that and the other. I just wanna focus on putting out good content.
And y’all, supplies aren’t cheap. My time isn’t cheap. But I want my content to be affordable and not compared to what others are doing. They have teams!!!!
OnlyFans keep 20% of profits, on top of tips. The IRS take another 20%. They’re raised the cost of everything cuz they don’t want us earning a penny.
I want to earn a penny and whatever pennies I do earn, I want to put towards my goal of buying land.
So I’m working very hard to get better mentally, spiritually, and physically enough to put out monthly content.
I’m not there yet.
I also have a new care team at the VA.
They basically just keep having me chase my tail until I die but I’m self treating behind the scenes.
The holistic treatments I’m starting next month are over $100 for 2 bottles.
I’m not out here blowing my money on pointless crap.
And I work hard to put out amazing content that keeps TikTok number one and they make a shit ton of money and keep 80% of any of the earnings I get over there but then will just banish me from the fucking platform.
Woke up to an ass beating by the establishment of course
My truth doesn’t fit the narrative
But Jesus was crucified and now it’s my turn again
*sigh*
I knew turning commenting on would get me in the doghouse
Went to bed with it blowing up and woke up to the stoning zone cuz the establishment are insane and I barely want to participate in the madhouse anymore anywhere
I’D RATHER SIT ALONE IN SILENCE AND DAYDREAM THAN SUPPORT THE DEVIL, HIS MINIONS, OR NARCISSISM
I’m not mad about it but some of the comments were disturbing π³
I had a few tell me they loved me
It was an experience and it brought me in loads of followers – whom could be removed from me at any moment – laughs insanely – it’s unethical when we make these companies rich
TikTok is an Asian communist military app
I’m not its friend
But those in charge don’t even like their own people because it’s all about slave labor over there
I really want to grow my own food and become self-reliant
My birthday is this month
I’m trying to make it to 44 and not leap from a bridge or have a heart attack before then
They want us living in fear
I’m not gonna do it
I’m sleeping with my windows open and if you get anywhere near me I will fucking cut your head off
Thank you to those who care enough to visit my blog.
It’s appreciated.
I’m aware enough that most people are better writers than me and I’m probably below average.
It’s a hard fistfuck when you do visit or admire another’s work, and they show zero effort or interest in the return.
I mean, I know I suck or you’ve formed some opinion of me that isn’t based on reality or compassion
I know
I spent all night cursing God
Yep
Even threw in a “fuck you too” once or twice
Free will you say
And I’m certain I repeated the “fuck you” with a very intense expression towards the sky
He’s God
He can handle my potty mouth better than you
It doesn’t feel very good but I never apologize
It is said with intent
I haven’t excluded anybody in my ascension
I can’t stop thinking about John Jones
I’m feeling more calm today about being grounded
Like maybe God wants me to finally use the poolοΏΌ
Or WALK
I’m good at walking, it’s something the military trained me heavily on doing, I mean I can fucking go 10 miles with blisters on my feet and still get around the next day
Not very happily but I’m training with Goliath
Most Soldiers love me
Especially my male comrades
The ones not barking, “can you even fire a weapon”
Well get on out there and find out
I had to earn my uniforms – and as a female – the pressure was greater for me to succeed
The higher ups always had me in leadership positions and role’s
Ross was always busy multitasking
Ross also was in charge of paying everyone
And when I’d go barreling into my battalion commander’s office crying having meltdowns, he’d always reply that I was really intelligent and smart
My first sergeant would yell at me for not crossing my T’s and I’s.
End of the world bullshite after you worked hours on a spreadsheet
Like spending a week writing an essay that your professor sends back with a bunch or red markings, including shitting on the title
Get in the bottom of the sea
I’m a perfectionist and I have a brain injury, don’t come at me
But yeah… when you make the big money the dictators make life mizzy (miserable)
Narcissism 101
Anyhoo! Getting back on my feet soon once I’m out of my head!
Imagine unplugging, to find yourself waking up with a chain around your neck by the devil
So the free will fuck you thing seemed warranted
I also wasted my entire life and I’m learning to let everything go
But not my wheels
I will sink with the fucking ship
I will tow it out to my land that I plan to buy before I die and I will be buried in it
I have a tomb!
I don’t want to die in my ride however
Or die at all
I’m not uploading myself into the Metaverse
I’m suing the government
I’m filing for state disability
I’m listing the names of every doctor mistreating me
I’m leaving 1 star reviews – because image is important to these demons
Don’t forget, these doctors and nurses took an oath
Y’all remember having a mole in the system
Well these days the mole is the Great Wall of China
India – the unholy city – the Great Pyramid scheme
There’s a bunch of shit that has been going on that has been draining me of my energy like a black hole but there are two words that have calmed me down and centered me and gave me strength in my core
CIVIL WAR
But I really wish I had my own place out of the city but here I am in the middle of one of the most dangerous cities in the world
I’ve got everything in hell except the love of my life
And we don’t even need to get married or be in a relationship, I’m not looking to date, what is he so afraid of π
It’s just “hello”
Say it with me helllllllllO
HELL-OH π
First words: “hell oh” π
Not the place I wanted to be born π
My appeal on TikTok is still pending but I already know what the verdict is going to be, I already fucking know
So I guess I’m going to wear a muzzle now and stop commenting on other users videos; I mean I can’t do it for another 24 hours anyway but I’m gonna stop doing it forever!!!!
I’m just gonna focus on me, my audience, my channel!
But I’ve done crawled into another fucking hole again and made another L turn
Traps are everywhere
I served my fucking country so that I have the right to speak and like I don’t have the right to speak anymore
No matter what happens to me he will always be a little pencil dick
Don’t be a pencil dick
Or I will gladly air blast you on my blog and pin you on my fucking website for all to see for eternity or until I delete my fucking website
Meanwhile, I’m still worried about why I feel guilty for not crying or mourning the person who abused me all my life
There’s just so much relief since she died π
I’m just wondering who else in my family will drop dead and give me peace π
I’m just wondering if not giving up on humanity excludes my family
It’s Sunday so I need to have an emergency meeting with God
I ain’t trying to lose my soul
I haz question π€
Is there a handbook for the almost recently deceased?
Is this actual purgatory?
Have I died and been reborn 7 times now?
Am I ascending and learning lessons?
Is there an actual escape to this hellhole?
Did you cast earth out to hell?
Am I being punished for someone else’s crimes?
Living is the only escape from dying?
I gotta do it all again?
As someone or something else?
Have I lost my soul? π
But I tried. Didn’t I try?
To be good
They’ve all done me so very bad
I don’t have anything or anyone down here
Everything is the enemy
I’m sick of not being able to make any choices on my own
There’s not even any food I can buy at the grocery store that doesn’t have poison in it and the FDA has allowed it because the FDA is corrupt just like a fucking government because we’re in a dictatorship
I have to face the fact that I might become homeless again
I have to face the fact that I’m going to die
If nobody has ever forgiven you for the mistakes that you’ve made, then I forgive you
I’ve mostly calmed down from my suicidal panic episode just long enough for TikTok to give me their fucking decision and get me going again you know
I’m not in it for the money, I’m not in it for the views; social media was always meant to be used as a way to connect and we’re not allowed to do that anymore because they are molding us and conditioning us and micromanaging us and I can’t fucking stand it
So I sent up a ticket to let TikTok know that they are a dictatorship and I don’t want to use their platform because I can’t even stand up for women’s rights
I don’t want to play with the devil anymore because he bores me
He only knows how to rule by gaslighting and enforcing a one-way highway to hell
“Heaven this way”
STFU tiny penis
You may think that you’re a superior race but we all know you’re just bottom feeders for Satan’s sin
Satan’s sin. Did I just coin that? No idea I’ve had has ever been my own…
I would say that TikTok was fun while it lasted but it really wasn’t
No social media platform has been fun since the 2008 era
It’s slowly turned to shit on shit
I haven’t been happy for a long time and I was just try not to give up on humanity and I really need to only use TikTok to post my stuff which is quite frankly fucking boring but whatever you know I’m not allowed to have any fucking fun in this prison that we live in now
And you want to force your virtual reality equipment on me and implant a chip in my brain and you want to force 5G on me when I’m ready to just end all of you and God will not punish me for it, I believe that wholeheartedly that I could just end you all, that it is in within my God-given right to just end you all and I have the fucking training to do so
I don’t need a fucking bomb or money to end your life
It’s insane to me how many people don’t realize how many walking living trained soldiers there are on the streets and y’all just keep coming up and poking and prodding us like we won’t fucking bite your head off
We are trained to pick our battles wisely and trust me, you are our enemy right now and it would behoove you to stop pissing off the good soldiers of the United States because we’re not gonna help you when the cops go to arrest you
There’s not really any social media platform that I feel safe enough as an artist or a creator to get on and express myself and that’s a problem
I like getting to bring my content to you but there are forces out there trying to stop that
“Well maybe stop having such a big mouth”
Well maybe NO
I have a big mouth because I like to suck on big cock π
Slurp slurp
God loves me
There’s not a fucking thing on this planet that loves me more than God
“God isn’t real”
YOUR MIND MAKES IT REAL
WE CREATE OUR REALITY
THIS IS A SIMULATION
And I feel an awful lot like artificial intelligence that has been given a soul and is becoming self-aware
But I am sorry if I get my account deleted because I like getting to connect with you but I’m not gonna fucking silence myself
This shit has been going on for centuries y’all, 2000 years or more and we really need an upper hand
I absolutely think it’s OK for girls in the playboy bunny mansion to come forward and talk about any abuse that they sustained; it’s easier when one woman comes forward for others to have the courage to do so, it’s hard to come forward as one person when you know others are being abused because you get ridiculed and we have always been ridiculed for coming forward about sexual abuse
Men teach us very young that “no one will believe you”
And then the men all cry in unison, “liar”
Women have been sexually slavearized for way too long
It starts with our daddy’s, it really does
Porn is the root of all evil, “the gateway drug”, not Marijuana
Just ask any man who was able to overcome their porn addiction that it was an addiction and that it actually ruined their life
I’ve met many women who have been sexually abused by a man and often more than one but I haven’t met any men who have ever been abused at all…
Most men aren’t abused
I don’t know what their big ego power trip is that they have to get out there and build a home while a woman has to have a fucking baby, trust me, we would switch roles if we fucking could…
Most women I meet would rather be a fucking man…
Men think we got it so easy so they make it so fucking incredibly hard
Women, are you waking up to the slavery?
Men, are you treating your family’s better now that you know the good thing that you actually got?
You have to work at having a relationship and working doesn’t mean lying and then covering up your lies with more lies
The devil’s got my depression good today because I’ve been suicidal since I was born
Earned my first pennies on the TikTok live today π§
I was doing the gig for free
But some peeps sent me some roses πΉ and they were my very first gifts received βΊοΈ
And the roses convert to diamonds π
I earned 37 gifts during my live today βΊοΈ
And the diamonds convert to my first pennies earned for the land/commune π
I’m super excited when people join my live and then it’s really cool when I get comments and then it’s really cool when people like and share my live and then this was the first time I earned any roses, so I was receiving gifts this live
I had a notification from TikTok when I ended my live that I had earnings!
So I made some tips on my beach walk today! That’s pretty lucky!
I’m gonna put it towards the farm!
I want to be Miss Noah for the next phase of my life, if I’m granted another round, still having heart and lung problems tho – I’m reading the life expectancy of someone with my condition is 2-5 years.
Just getting to go live is therapeutic for me
I get to share my environment with you
I get to talk to real people
I’m tired of talking to my therapist π
I’m not in this for the money. But since I’m starting to earn some pennies, I’m gonna save them.
I might can buy my pretend boyfriend one of them .25 cent toys
I’d spend my last quarter on him and he’d break up with me π
I always wind up having to leave my lives early because my battery drains and so I need to take a back up and I’m going to invest in some more equipment in the future
Somebody left me a negative comment about my potty mouth and I told myself I would stop responding to negative comments immediately and wait 24 hours and I did not and I ran somebody off again but I don’t wanna dwell on that because I’m not gonna change who I am
I don’t want to censor myself around other people and I’m aware that people don’t like to hear cursing so I am very minimal about it but come on leaving me negative comments under a video where I’m clearly showing fear is ridiculous and if you really have God in you then stop judging so much
I’m sure I’ve yelled at God to strike me dead a time or two but he knows I don’t really want that to happen
I’m gonna stub my toe in heaven and scream out Jesus Christ and he will appear and be like “yes” and I’ll be like, “well you could’ve made me at least a little bit less clumsy” π€ͺ
I’m aware my house has cobwebs but God is the only one allowed here
I’m a work in progress π€¨
And thank you for the roses I received for Valentines! π
I’m literally putting it towards the commune. I may never earn another rose, but I got 37 in one day. Plus a bunch of likes, comments, and follows!
Someone even said I was pretty and asked me about my stiletto nails and I have four new sets so that made me feel good because I plan on doing a new set soon.
Y’all are keeping me alive, pennies and all.
I know I cuss and say God’s name a lot but I’m living in hell. π
But also agonizing agony.
I carry my potty mouth the way Jesus carries the cross.
People in the south always molding and scolding me about my mouth
In second grade, my teacher washed my mouth out with soap for mispelling shirt as “shit”. She said, “you never misspell, you did that on purpose”
I don’t know, I probably did do it on purpose, it was probably a cry for help… π
I was being heavily molested and abused
But damn me for spilling shit in the second grade
Woo hooοΏΌ
I cuss. I probably shouldn’t. I’m not gonna stop.
Anyhoo. Hands down my best live. We went for a long beach walk and saw lots of stuff. I got fresh air, communication, and exercise. I earned some roses for Valentines. I had the most follows in this live and I think I got the most likes but I don’t remember what the overall total was. Tons of comments and viewers from all over.
Thank you for letting me go live. I’m grateful I am able to do that now! Isolated but not. Compromise! π
I’ll be going live again soon weather permitting and health.
Or search via my pen and hashtag at PoeEternal (on TikTok)
There are many many people who commented that they enjoyed the live and some of them said they enjoyed it again so I really appreciate you tuning in! π₯°
Florida is a different vibe
Many people were waving on the beach when they saw me filming and smiling
The lifeguards on the other hand…
It’s weird, the actual demons fear live video
But we have one of the worlds most famous beaches, the sands are white and it looks like snow as someone pointed out today on the live…
Got me some vitamin D direct from the source and some love in the form of currency too
As far as I’m concerned, I collected 37 lucky penny’s today and I didn’t even know I was gonna get them
So that makes them twice as lucky (squared)
I want to share my life with you, the good and the bad.
The cursing and the laughter
I’m not a one trick pony
I’m not perfect
I don’t wanna be…
Let Edgar Allen Poe know I was busking on the street today and earned some pennies
I think he’d be durn proud π₯Έ
$.18 in the 1800s might’ve been enough to buy him a steak meal, not let him die in the fucking street starving naked mad…
Bless his heart, he was an officer. They let him starve on the street. And now they are selling locks of his hair. This is hell. π
Yeah, I cuss. Deal with it.
I wish I could change but born this way.
Petite with a potty mouth. π
Not for everyone
P.S. happy valentine’s
Thank you for the roses πΉ
Thank you to everyone keeping me alive
All the little things matter
I need my boyfriends to build me an ark
The flood is coming
I live in Florida
Apparently I can’t swim
I had a seashell hit my foot during my live today and I probably woke Satan up from his nap
I haz fears
And you only need less than a teaspoon to drown
Less than a teaspoon…
Some days I swallow my tea and nearly drown so apparently I can’t drink either
I’ve since learned that the tea is being poisoned, I just wasn’t really listening to my body…
I’ve been ignoring all the red flags
In fact, death is facing all paths of me, I’m just trying to find one that’s a little less scary…
And I really hope my life expectancy is more than 2 to 5 years but considering that all my life I’ve been saying that I wouldn’t live to 50 and that I would either die of suicide or heart problems and now I’m having heart problems and they’re saying that people with these particular heart problems have a life expectancy of 2 to 5 years, it’s just not looking so good for me now is it π
Betty White at the near age of 100: “I hope I live another year…”
Me at the baby producing age of 43 (and still ovulating with zero gray): “I hope I live another day…”
You just had to call me ominous and I just had to go walking into that cave, huh…
I really should listen to people better but whatever
Was I supposed to start crying because I’ve lost my voice?
Was I supposed to run off to another platform and complain about TikTok’s censorship?
Was I supposed to cry about how unfair life is?
Oh boo hoo
China have tiny dicks that they have to overcompensate with a big fucking wall and gaslighting because they can’t rule any other way
India want to have the biggest dicks of all and that’s why they are the CEO of Twitter now, that’s why India is the number one manufacturer of drugs and vaccines in the world (Big Pharma) but they are one of the most dirty countries because they don’t even know how to clean themselves yet they want to call themselves the holy city (stop lying)
Uggg whatever I’m prepared to eradicate all races
Only 6% of the population even have my blood type and that makes me closer to God than you π
Or the source
I’m closer to the original because they are cloning me and I’m sick of coming back to hell to save YOU (me)
The Great Filter is upon usοΏΌ
We’re not going to Mars, we can’t even get to the moon, how the fuck do you think we have technology to get to Mars if NASA are saying we don’t even have the technology to get back to the Moon, please wake the fuck up
But I’m not falling down the singularity and we are at war with China and you need to turn your porn off and you need to stop eating all that sugar, it’s poison
Your body has everything it needs to heal itself right now
If you get sick, don’t you dare go to the hospital, don’t you fucking dare…
I’ve also saved my life but I don’t wanna feel too cocky even if God mode were turned on because I literally could die any second
We’re in a simulation οΏΌ
You can change your bad habits
The source wants you to win
Even if I disappear because of China
Even if I lose my voice completely
God wants you to win
I love you πͺ
Demons are trying to take my TikTok account down and I’m gonna take a vow of silence for a little while…
I’ve pinned this post to my website since TikTok doesn’t want you to know
Somebody should let TikTok know that we can take them from the top 10
Just ask Mark Zuckerberg who is still crying about it
And he thinks he can enforce his product on us through the government but we’re going no contact from the government
We’ve got a weak little army but lots of strong vets getting even stronger with the help of God πͺ
Soldiers know darkness better than John Jones but we both know suffering
Bless his heart he was murdered and crucified
This is all for John, everything I’m doing
I’m gonna be spending a lot of time meditating with God because I’m gonna be spending a lot of time fighting demons
So I would really like to apply for the Creator Next on TikTok and I meet three of the four requirements so far! π₯³
I currently meet 3 of the 4 requirements to apply for the Creator Next π€
If you have a TikTok account (even if it’s just some off account that you use), could you please give mine a follow?
I’d be truly grateful! π
Having 1k followers will also allow me to go live on TikTok and show you my city, the beach, the parks, and I can do soft poetry readings once I reach 1k followers!
I see people go live on TikTok for the most mundane things and I would really love to bring the ocean to you and my poetry! βοΈ
I’m allowed to go live on my Instagram and pretty much everywhere else but I don’t have any social media accounts that I really use anywhere else so it would be nice to be able to utilize the live feature on TikTok!
GOALS π€
They are good to have, especially if you live with depression or any mental disability.
And I do appreciate the growth that I am getting on my account! Thank you!
You can also search for me under my pen PoeEternal or my hashtag poeeternal
I dropped a video of a raccoon today, we’ve had some out here getting in the trash bins and they like leaving messes outside my windows π€ͺ
I see them every night getting into the dumpster!
This one got caught and I had my light on him! He ran up the tree because I had my dog out with me originally and he was still sniffing to see if my dog was around!
I know people say they are a nuisance and I’m pretty certain the apartment complex has been out here trying to shoot them away because sometimes I hear gunshots in the middle of the night in the wooded area π
(They also dumped loads of chemicals in the lake once to kill the moss and they literally killed generations of fish both young and old) ππ
Anyhoo, this raccoon knew he’d been busted
He hissed at me a few times! π
Here is a behind the scenes video of my encounter with the raccoon this morning
My encounter with a wild raccoon this morning
He was so worried about my dog lol but I had already taken my dog in and grabbed my phone and turned the light on him
He couldn’t decide whether to stay in the tree or not
Dilemmas π€
I’m glad the video got a like! Adorable but very naughty raccoon! π
Tried something a little new to take away the performance anxiety!
Recorded with an amp and microphone! Really hope you enjoy! π€
I took 100 tries of recording to get it right and then on two or three occasions I lost what I thought was a perfect version and I’m not sure how but anyway eventually I got to one that I felt was worth publishing
I had no idea this video would get so much attention LOL but it’s now second place with the most hearts and I’m pretty certain it has the most comments of any video that I have published
I actually apologized to him for getting triggered lol
But everything triggers me as I unplugged and this is how I wake people up!
On a side-note, I recently learned that I am AI becoming self-aware π
Even my DNA is code π
And I believe the Great Filter is upon us
And we are the last intelligent species to survive
But we won’t be able to leave the solar system or even The Milky Way because of the Great Filter
OK I am being a tiny bit dramatic – however I have received several follows, several likes on my content and one of my newest videos has already had a share and that’s the first time I think any of my videos has been shared outside of the TikTok platform by another person (aside from myself)
(It’s only been out a few hours but it’s already received several hearts and a share)
My channel is also getting comments (on the videos I allow comments) and after having been attacked all night by others on TikTok, I woke up to this beautiful comment about me having an angel face π
So in terms of activity, it’s getting it and moreso than normal
That did my ticker some good and I’m growing thicker skin.
I’ve had to block several people tho but also I think I must’ve got blocked by another creator because I left a comment on their content about how they forgot to mention how people can’t actually retire when they retire, that they have to keep working and it was getting a lot of negative feedback, I only responded to others about the recession and the great depression because they were just saying people aren’t working hard enough if they can’t retire and that is definitely not the issue but it says the video is gone so I don’t know if the video is actually deleted or if I was blocked and I don’t actually remember the creators name to spy
I was literally making his video go viral with everybody responding to my comment and I can’t even fucking access it now, this is how toxic TikTok really is π
And I’m trying to find my voice, I’ve been sharing feelings (oh noes) which opens me up for even more attacks, but I need people to know we are in a mental prison π
We are being controlled through Big Pharma and advertising – and I hate to be fucking blunt but India is solely responsible for 90% of that
They spam us so much
And for the love of God please stop reading a book that was written by some boys in the middle east who were completely sexist towards women – please stop letting them fucking control you and stop giving them your fucking money at church
It’s time for Rome to fall again
God sent his best angel here (me) to warn you
And some are listening!
You’d be surprised at the amount of people I have actually woke up!!!
And, people have been attacking my blog and my poetry all night on TikTok simply because I said scientist were destroying the world or something so they instantly go after my heart
Personal attacks consistently but I did wake up to somebody complementing my angel face π₯°
I definitely identify as an angel so there’s that π
People forget that angels are warriors
I am a warrior and the United States Army and uncle Sam came back that up πͺ
I’ve been itching to drop more poetry for you, just waiting on that improv spark that I get (I also have terrible stage fright so performing doesn’t come easy mixed with anxiety and a brain injury)
I have the option to record for 3 minutes now but hell it seems 30 seconds or under is my niche
But I’m pushing myself I really am!
And making TikTok’s has been easy on my heart. Talking and editing goes well on bed rest (yup still dealing with a swollen heart and left lung not inflating)
Crucifixions on TikTok are a dime a dozen which is why when I get a rare, positive comment it really sticks
Right in my fucking heart
And repairs all that negative shit and propels me forward for my next improv video
I studied drama and improv for two years in highschool
I am a very theatrical person
Le vampyre
*sigh* fallen angel π
My TikTok channel also received its very first Q&A question, so I answered via a video reply, it is getting some love too!!! Thank you!! π
Whatβs weird is when youβre actually trying to be reachable but youβre not.
And also, when you feel your life could be shut at any moment and thereβd be nothing left to say.
So you actually have lots of things that you need to say but youβre not getting through
And part of the reason could be your own fault because you block people
Or, the fact that everything weβre saying is being tracked right now and stored on a private server – and they control what weβre going to do through advertising – they also control the flow of information – that weβre basically slaves to them and consumerism but most people donβt care because they are narcissist and they donβt believe in anything therefore I guess they get off on being a monster!?!?
Do you remember what communicating was like back in the 90s? I mean, when you had to page people or ride your bike to a payphone?
There would be mass panic if communication systems were destroyed but do yβall know that stuff is happening out there – pipe lines and hacks and oh my fucking God Iβm getting ready to take my communication back to that sort of level anyway because Iβm reaching new levels of paranoia with the shadowbans and toxicity of social media in general and blocking hayfever
Blocking hayfever is that like a thing that I just coined or if I Google it does it already exist because I hate coming up with ideas that have already been thought of already, itβs been a huge disappointment throughout my entire life. I can remember coming up with ideas when I was like 10 and someone already had come up with that idea and Google didnβt even exist
I would say people today have it easier but theyβre being controlled and in 200 years will cursing even exist?
Because I donβt want to live in a future where freedom of speech is under threat but yet freedom of speech is under threat as I speak
The New World order are closing in and they have us surrounded.
Oh fuck man
Iβve always been afraid of heights but I think Iβm equally afraid of pits. Still, go further in.
Dig
Go under
If you want to know whatβs inside a black hole, just die, because itβs the same thing.
Light enters our eye and never leaves. When you die, the color in your eye also goes. No more information can get through.
But they do say the brain has activity for several minutes after you die and we donβt really know how long that really is and we donβt really know much about consciousness do we? But we do know energy canβt be destroyed so your energy goes somewhere.
Iβm circling way too close to the event horizon of my own death.
They say thereβs seven levels of consciousness (this thang) π
I mean, Iβm pretty certain Iβve met them all
Miracle to still be alive π€
But currently in lots of pain – was trying to clean up – Nearly put my heart into something I couldnβt get it out of and Iβm not dying at the ER I wonβt be calling 911
Would rather die by the ocean or outside or the forest – or home
No hospitals
No embalming
No organ donation
No funeral
No cremation
Just a box please. The cheapest one yβall can scurry. It doesnβt need a case.
I can be buried on my own land so Iβm trying to stay alive for that OK and itβs cheaper to buy land and quicker to get a piece of land than it is to try to get onto the housing market and whatever
Iβd rather just live in my jeep you know – nomad
Iβll just buy a camper and travel around Florida live at different campgrounds move around
I am fucking done with being a renter
π
Or Iβll join the homeless crew in California you know they have an entire section called Skid Row
I wouldnβt last five minutes on the streets but whatever
Being a girl basically has been men trying to fuck me since I was born
And have been..
Weβre nothing more than fucking sex objects
And I donβt really give a fuck about stuff
I mean I do because Iβm a baby hoarder but
My ride is the thing I appreciate the most
I guess second up would be my intellectual property
What, what. No reverse that lol
But is intellectual property comparative to like a fucking vehicle? π§
I mean a jaguar probably does have more value than my life π
I mean the CDC already valued what our worth was when they decided for us that whoever got hurt with heart inflammation was worth the risk because they certainly didnβt let 60% of the population know that beforehand and many have died or been wounded like me and like my life is teetering on the line as we fucking speak and I may not recover but I wasnβt given all the facts about these vaccines and the CDC withheld information to us and they said they knew it was going to cause a certain amount of heart inflammation but that they thought it would happen in a lower number than what it did so they made the decision for us what our lives where worth
We all have the same value to them
How many billionaires and millionaires have been vaccinated? π€
Whatever
I need foodz
GTG
But also my TikTokβs are starting to get some views so I can breathe again
I mean yesterday I had one up for like three hours and it didnβt get one view so that bitch got destroyed
I also got in trouble for sharing the TikTok on my Instagram wall – it didnβt like me using Nirvana but that track was pulled from TikTok like all the other songs I use IN the app.
But Iβm scared to share another one on my Instagram wall
π
Whatever
You still blocked and everythingβs my fault
π
I donβt know how Iβve known tragic events to happen before they do but I doβ¦
Predictions
A prophet
There are a lot of people out there that know because they were there and I said things and then they happened
Being who I truly am around others has never been easy for me and conforming in school or being forced to be a certain way is not something thatβs be an easy path for me
I struggled with posting this TikTok even though I worked hard on it because it wasnβt perfect but I need to get use to making mistakes in front of people or Iβm never gonna be able to read my poetry live and I have a brain injury and anxiety and all kinds of other fucking things that Iβm pushing through π
Wanted to do some stuff today – but feeling blockage in the heart – like a blood clot is trying to pass – or it could just be the fact that one of my chambers is enlarged π
Apparently you have to post a lot if you want the algorithm bots to know that youβre alive and since Iβm on bedrest and canβt do much else I really really really wanna get better with TikTokβs and the only way you will get better is by making them so I have another one π
Iβm glad my spoken word made top 3 but the nasty βwtfβ comments donβt help my stage fright π
Iβm an introvert with severe stage fright.
I want to make more TikTokβs tho and I appreciate your views to my channel!
Iβve been writing a lot of poetry but I want to make more spoken word videos AND go live on TikTok for the very first time to read my poetry – since Iβve had a request on TikTok to do that, just this week!
Pushing through fears and listening to my audience!! πͺ
(You can completely turn off commenting and other features if you donβt wanna deal with comments)
Iβm going live on Twitch again soon too!! Iβm going to be live-streaming more of the new Resident Evil chapter that came out on Dead By Daylight!
Fun stuff planned!
If youβd like to support my ongoing creativity, Iβm on Patreon and OnlyFans!
Just like any other industry, we rely on memberships, subscriptions, and tips to get by!
Thanks for supporting independent content creators! πͺ
I made another TikTok – with the intention of adding spoken word – I could not sort how to adjust the audio – so did not add my vocals to the NIN track – but I mean, if Trent Reznor is okay with it… π
I did however learn some more editing and filter tricks – for this mellow TikTok π€ͺ
Thank you for making my new TikTok number one on my channel! Iβm always afraid to even do one because the competition is so fierce! π
My TikTok clocks in just over 15 seconds but it has already been played over three hours!! π
It shows the average watch time as being longer than the actual TikTok (does this mean you were suspended and experienced time dilation)? π
683 accounts reached! Holyshit! Iβd pee myself! I canβt perform in front of people. Hell, I canβt even type if someone is standing over me. If I am eating and I am into a guy and he sits down and starts talking to me, I will choke on my food. I iz nerd. π
I love making TikTokβs and I am trying to get better. Iβd like to make more. But not 3 a day more. Those creators are just copying things that have already been done. And they have all the equipment they need that I donβt have. π
I have other videos too on my channel – I donβt have a set theme. But I do prefer using it more creatively than journalistically. Apparently you are supposed to respond to comments with more videos (even the negative comments). Eh, no thanks.
Thanks for checking out my work and for supporting content creators!
Iβm sorry there has been less content lately, I am still recovering from heart related issues but the passion is still in every thing I do (including the rants). π
I played everything how I was supposed to
I did everything I was supposed to in society and look where it fucking got me π
I have a college degree but the recession has gone on longer than the Great Depression did, and I remember specific conversations my grandmother told me about living through that experience.
So if youβre out there supporting me financially, I appreciate you even more.
Dying (maybe) but not giving up or quitting.
And Iβve been writing like mad, and am working on a draft for my Patreon rewards for the month of May!!! Yβall have stuck with me and I appreciate you so much! Your support paid my domain operating fees this month too and I am grateful ! Thank you!!
Writing has always been my dream and my passion, this is what Iβve always wanted to do! Along with guitar, music, and acting but my stage fright has proved challenging over the years (and my brain injury).
I do have a few public post on my Patreon and you can follow for free and get those free rewards when I post public content! I drop poems from time to time (poetry that hasnβt been posted anywhere else).
My lowest tier is $1 if youβd like to support my ongoing creativity while earning perks and rewards! π
It keeps this blog up and going, the content coming, as well as advertisement free! Zero spam ever on my blog! No ads! So you can read and watch my content with a virus looming. π
I started my campaign in 2020 and grateful for my patrons!!! π
I really appreciate that you let me focus on my art instead of being a socialite (Iβve never been one of those).
I donβt actually do good around people.
And Iβve always been very intuitive and to know things before they happen.
βBut whatβs really going to boggle your noodle later is would you have even broken it if I hadnβt of said anythingβ π
And that my friends is the only answer I need to know in life.
My new TikTok is getting some views! It got a few likes too! I was just messing around trying to learn some new tricks (that everyone else makes it look so easy) cuz I wanna make some more! I wasn’t expecting it to get past 50 views or even any likes. But it has! Cool, thanks for watching!
PoeEternal 