Y’all, he said he missed me 💕

Then he gifted me a gift card for pizza 😻

And then after he stuffed my belly full of pizza –

He surprised me again and got me stuffs from my Amazon wishlist 😻

And then I fell asleep on him again 🤪

(Not literally just metaphorically)

If he was actually here you likely wouldn’t hear from me for days, you’d probably only hear from me when I came up for air…

If he allowed it

🤪

Slept through the whole night

Looks like he’s got the prescription Big Pharm can’t write me

You reckon them porn stars are ready to make babies with every guy that gets them something off their Amazon wishlist? An I doing this right? 👀

The porn stars only care about money babies – That’s why she’s always looking right in the camera and smiling at you. It’s called acting.

But this here isn’t acting. This is me wanting to meet up with him in Vegas, elope, and start making babies immediately.

👀

He doesn’t care that I’m aloof and stupid. Because I can’t even read a coupon correctly and I fall asleep on him.

But that’s the thing, when he comes around I finally sleep.

He’s my safe place.

Even though I don’t actually know who he really is.

It’s complicated 👀

But for the first time in my life somebody bought me something off of my Amazon wishlist and for some reason I keep getting to do all the firsts with him. 😻

I want to do all the firsts and then I want to do them again.

Everything about him feels better than dying on the street.

There aren’t any red flags and even if there were, my brain perceives them as a red carpet.

I need him

He knows how to handle my inexperience and goofiness

Or when I read a pizza coupon wrong

He knows how to make me not feel stupid

Even when I’m feeling slightly embarrassed for being inexperienced or stewpids

He squashes those fears flat before they even get a chance to simmer

I could be 100 % convinced we were on the straight path and then lead us both into a trap and he’d make a game out of it

Cuz I’ve decided this instance he’s my Tarzan

Him and I like the forest

When we’re not busy destroying the city and everything in it

Everything except each other

We stop for kisses and then get back to fucking shit up like Bonnie and Clyde

I’m busy dying and he’s like “but can we have babies first before you do that”

And now all the parts in my body feel magnetized and activated

There may be a slight hum coming from my bones

It’s possible I may start levitating a few inches off the ground

Does anybody make you feel like that?

I know how the universe feels expanding cuz he makes all my neurons fire

He makes my entire body euphoric without touching me

And sometimes he makes me throb

He makes me feel the things

And I get to open up and do things with him that other people won’t let me do

My mind, spirit, and body has been chained

But he frees me

He knows how to release me

I’m attached to him and it’s not through trauma bonding

We are north and south

Yin and yang

And I have loads of food leftover and stuff arriving this week from my wishlist thanks to him spoiling me 💕

I also have a surprise coming from my DollsKill wishlist, something I got in thanks of y’all pushing me into the top 27, and holding me there so long!

I can’t talk about it, you just have to wait!

(And even tho I was waiting like a hawk all day for UPS, I still managed to miss that ‘tap’ at my door). The dog didn’t even bark. He barks at everything! 🤪

I even drove around the parking lot like a madman trying to catch up with him but he was gone gone gone

So I gotta go pick it up at the drop off location I think.

I’ve just accepted that reality is broken for me.

And I can trust my mind just about as much as I can trust my GPS.

👀

Or the CDC.

And I yelled at my nurse yesterday when I was trying to relay a message to her to get to my doctor about looking up the signs and symptoms of Moderna and she wanted to give me the signs and symptoms listed off the CDC website and I was like “I need you to start taking your job seriously, people have died from this“.

And then I yelled at her more saying my signs and symptoms aren’t the fucking flu

Or what you can pull from the CDC website which lists COMMON symptoms, not rare.

Furthermore, those are common symptoms from all the vaccines, I need mine specifically from Moderna.

And then I hung up on her cuz my heart can’t take the fucking stress.

And then my mind was wandering to where only seven people had attended Edgar Allan Poe’s funeral and I was thinking I didn’t want anybody to attend mine at all – until he came.

Have you ever missed someone you’ve never even met?

I’m slightly deranged and dying and didn’t even think he wanted me around.

But then he appeared like Neo and said, “I’ve missed you” and I replied, “I can tell”. And then we disappeared and then I missed Morpheus arriving with my special package for y’all… 👀

The end of the world can wait. Priorities.

Coming out of my coffin soon

I hope

And I’m having pizza and warm brownies for breakfast

With milk

😋

Gonna have delicious pizza breath off and on all day

And I think my special package is on the brown truck again – I think they’re going to actually attempt to redeliver it since it was a signed package but then they’re going to leave it at the drop off point if I’m unable to show up at my own destination. 🤪

But I can’t even read a fucking pizza coupon correctly so you know

Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong

It’s like a betting game

I had my pharmacist crying laughing the other day though, I told him, “it says good driver on my license though sometimes it’s questionable“ and he was like STOP IT and was wiping tears from his eyes.

And everything I said was comic gold. He couldn’t stop laughing. He thanked me for the mental health boost.

🤓

(no need to get jelly cuz this one plays for the other team)

We were just having a moment like the squirrel

There’s madness all around but sometimes you just gotta stop and laugh with somebody whose on the job.

Somebody who isn’t threatening to kick your fucking ass simply because you need them to sign onto the register so they can check out your egg sandwich and Coca-Cola in the can.

You’re gonna sign out and meet me outside are you?

Well I wanna see that fucking shit, I do

👀

So it’s either fighting hoes at the 7/11 or having babies in Vegas.

I’ll take Vegas.

👀

(I was feeling completely depleted and deranged but then he came and filled me up with love and pizza and gifts from my Amazon Wishlist)

Lightning struck twice in the same place

A double first

He’s some sort of mythical, magical creature and I don’t fear him in the thickness or the fog

He taught me to hover below the fog

To use the fog as a cover

To lay flat so I can breathe easier

He’s teaching me how to not fear the fog

He told me the fog will come and go

But that the forest needs the fog

He said I’ll get that lesson another time

And then he kissed me and disappeared into the fog

And I don’t know when I will see him again

But now I know he misses me when he’s gone

And there’s special things arriving 😻

I miss him too and now the fog is mostly gone

Love remains