I Know (Poetry & Prose)

I know that I’m not popular
I know you’ve never called my name
I know I’ll never be like her
I love you all the same

Β© Delia Ross. 2020

Did I tell y’all I caved after 9 months and broke my New Year’s resolution of not dying my hair by dying my hair Black Number 1 just in time for Halloween? I dids! πŸ˜‚
My hair is still growing long. Not allowing another hairdresser to touch my hair cuz they’re all just average and do everything I ask them not to do.
Never gonna Botox my lines. I earned every one of those.
For the record, most of the girls that are idolized online have fake long hair, fake nails, ect but this is what guys prefer which is why I have little to no support… I’m “real”.
I still feel like a true goddess, you know, the kind the world has abandoned for being “too good” or “too opinionated” or for simply being “too me”. These snaps don’t show the blackness of the black. But glad to be back black. It’s my favorite color and my mom and sister have the color naturally. Nope, not me. Just had to be different. AKA difficult.
Despite all the enemies made and hate in the world, I recently managed to turn 42 years of age, without one gray fucking hair or piece of plastic in my body… SORRY NOT SORRY. GO AHEAD AND DENY ME FOR NOT MEETING YOUR FAKE BEAUTY STANDARDS.

To him: I love you still so much tho, even when I’m no longer around to say. And you should print these because it’s not true about things staying online forever. I’ll always wonder what life with you would be like because being with you is the only life I want to live… πŸ’ž

Still crying by the way. The sloppy, eye makeup running down with my snot and tears kind of crying. I love you. Even tho you deny my existence just like the world and Judus denied Jesus Christ.

Do you also deny that someone existed with that name who got crucified? Or just that fairytale of a bible that man tries to sell you to try to keep you from acting like a beast, tho you still do, but donate to charity or the church or in other ways to ease your conscience instead (to whomever the shoe fits)?

You could try running to me instead of the bottom of the bottle.

You could try acknowledging my existence again.

Fool. I love you stewpids. So much it god damn hurts. God damn these endless tears!!!

Or deny me a third, fourth, fifth, what number are we on my love? Betrayed with a kiss. Oh, Judas…

Goddamn ye merry gentlemen”


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13 thoughts on “I Know (Poetry & Prose)

  1. What I really admire about your pieces is how genuine they read and sound, they’re devoid of bullshit and artifice, you say it as you feel it, you write what’s on your mind, this unfiltered honesty is extremely attractive to read. Your blog is one of my particular favourites on here.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Such replies are always a pleasure to receive, as you said this is a community and communities thrive on communication and openness, I’m sorry about the negativity you receive, hopefully the positive reactions to your blog can outweigh the nastiness, I look forward to your poetry immensely, just so you know you’re appreciated in this corner of the poetry world

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Your beauty is in being you, and being true to yourself. Nothing else matters, the false opinions and societal-shaped empty affirmations based on a product. You are not that, and you are far better for it. Keep on writing from your heart, it’s the best way, and better authentic and feeling all these emotions, than plastic and mundane πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘ŠπŸ»

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for your kind words of encouragement, Nick! I appreciate! (and it’s not to knock or shame anyone who wants to alter their body, it’s just I’m tired of being disregarded because I’m not)… X

    Like

  5. Yes, I understand, and it certainly must be tiring. You’re a successful woman and artist on your own terms and with integrity. All you want to see happen is within your gift.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That’s a positive 😬😊. And you’re not cursed. You’re talented and strong, a survivor. Curses are for others. Your future is your own.

    Liked by 1 person

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