I am stranded in a tower of sorrow and I think I might need saving –
from the curse of a broken heart –
and how he left me alone in the dark –
but even worse drove a metaphorical spear into my side –
ensuring that my spirit died –
ensuring heaven was denied
Put a moat around my tears and get this blackness out of here
I am at the tower of sadness
Every hour in this madness
© Delia Ross. 2019
So blinded by looking back at what you lost
Will let ego drown you no matter the cost
The love I gave you is covered with frost
Your future now fleeting without second thought
What was written was clear, so why now the fog
The lines and rhyme between us – written dialogue
There’s a number of them I could catalogue
But now the challenge is loving any at all
I know I’m not the best, I wasn’t even worth a chance
When another came along, you left without a glance
And now you stand pretending we weren’t in a written dance
And I guess denial and lying is now your final stance
© Delia Ross. 2019
Gonna stop writing cuz it’s not even worth copyrighting or subjecting you to my shitty poetry anymore. Save yer fucking likes for someone better. Oh, you already do.
THANKS FOR PULLING THE WOOL OVER MY EYES THEN FORCING ME TO BELIEVE NONE OF IT WAS REAL. THANK YOU
There’s nothing I like better, THAN WASTING MY FUCKING TIME.
I wish I could use people so easily as you do, and then disgard them. But worse, gaslight the entire thing.
OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH. IT’S EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED
I probably should take my lessons and learn from Sylvia Plath.
Shame my house doesn’t run on gas. SARCASM
Be good and you will be lonely. -Mark Twain
Selfie circa 2012
I struggle with being good because it only brings me loneliness. I thought good women made good men? You know, like a girl bringing out the best in a man, so he could be good for her? I’m seriously giving up. I get zero nurturing in life. I barely receive likes on my post. I feel like the output is greater than the reward. And I don’t want to have to take my clothes off for attention. So I guess I’m just going to die. There’s just not much in life for me anymore. I’m sorry but life is just so tough and when it comes to love there isn’t enough.
I’m so glad this still exists, it makes my panties wet.
SPIRAL OUT, KEEP GOING
I’m stunned my blog is nearing 25K, it just hit 20K! APPRECIATION POST COMES WITH SMILES! THANK YOU ALL FOR READING MY POEMS!!!! Below lies a happy Poe, errr Delia.
Well, it’s nearly Music Monday. Bite me. Just heard this one and it reminded me of the good ole days, when country music was actually country. But also self-loathing which country music is known for. DIG ALL DARKNESS. LISTEN: Roger Miller World Full Of Love
MOOD – A Perfect Circle TalkTalk
You’re waiting (you’re waiting)
On miracles (on miracles)
We’re bleeding out (bleeding out) Thoughts (thoughts)
And prayers (prayers)
Adorable (crisis)
Like cake in a crisis (in a crisis)
We’re bleeding out (bleeding out) While you deliberate
Bodies accumulate Sit and talk like jesus
Try walkin’ like jesus
Sit and talk like jesus
Talk like jesus
Talk talk talk talk
Get the fuck out of my way Don’t be the problem, be the solution
Don’t be the problem, be the solution
Don’t be the problem, be the solution
Problem, problem, problem, problem Faith without works is
Talk without works is
Faith without works is
Dead, dead, dead, dead Sit and talk like jesus
Try walkin’ like jesus
Sit and talk like jesus
Try walkin’ like jesus
Try braving the rain
Try lifting the stone
Try extending a hand
Try walkin’ your talk or get the fuck out of my way
APC is always a win. For real though. Happy Friday. Have some cake in a crisis ✌
Hey guys (it’s Southern slang so it means all), I know I have been a bit anti-social, withdrawn, pissy, childish, and certainly many other adjectives, I am a bit transparent no doubt (and I have been dealing with a chemical imbalance known as depression) but I wanted to thank you for still coming to my blog even though I haven’t been going to yours as much lately. I swear I want to read your stuff and make it up to you, there are many things that I want to do that depression is keeping me from. It literally keeps me from life. Most of the time I go without television or playing video games or listening to music or playing my guitar or reading or any of the other pastimes that normally would bring me enjoyment. It’s full on isolation and anxiety. Thanks for not giving up on me (yet). I am still fighting the good fight. I sometimes leave bad crumbs. I’m sorries. Forgives me? xx
I get so scared, I cut so deep
I tell myself that dying is the latest craze
Everyone has done it who’s already left this plain –
Dying is living’s final stage
And it doesn’t matter how you’re dressed, we all shit the same
And then I go a little deeper cuz this darkness is a maze
And I’m always hoping that it’ll help take away the pain
And so I drown another bottle because big pharma leads the way
And I slow down on the throttle because life is speeding away
But now another year has passed and I’m simply starting to rot
And the doctors write another prescription to try and manage the thought
And I can give another apology, but it’s still all my fault
And remorse it isn’t cheap, it seems they tripled the cost
Let me out, let me out, lemme out of this haze
Let me sleep, let me sleep, let me sleep, let me dream better days
Goodbye tomorrow, I will seek you in the future
And somewhere in that memory you will wonder why you didn’t mute her
And somewhere in that prison you’ll remember you are your own ruler
Dear future self, please start over
It only takes a step, I promise you’ll find closure
© Delia Ross. 2019
I saw a picture of my muse on the webs which inspired me to do this digital art of him. He’s teaching me how to be human. ❤✌❤
I also shared this originally on my Instagram. ✌
He looks at me and I exist
I form curves
The air in my lungs thicker
Wings for floating
Thoughts are clearer
I see beauty
I feel as a cloud
Ethereal and living
Pain is forgiven
Depression isn’t winning
Reasons for breathing
I breathe in divinity
I taste love
Shall I pass the wound to forgiveness
Shall I trust the universal oracle
What of the nest in my soul where your love is my law
Where I suffer for you and I fall
Have you ever loved me at all?
Should I exit the stage of treason
Where she robs me of desire
Where I see the smoke still rising
From the breast of her fire
Are you a mirage of love in a desert of loneliness?
Where I thirst forevermore
I still march along the madness
Of the trail of a whore
Echoes of happiness flash like lightning
Blinding yet spellbinding
And I dream of your shore
Where I wait in an ethereal forever
And I’m always hoping for more
My heart cradles the words for me that you write
It feels like a bandage covering the night
It feels like your hug holding me tight
A breath on my soul saying all is alright
Your lips on my spirit giving me might
In a fever I rush to you like a drug
But in truth you needn’t say a word
I’d love you in silence with only a hug
Your eyes to me they are the world
My road for you is only honey
I wish I were younger and that is my worry
But like an aging forest I offer you mercy
Shelter and warmth and tongues which are loving
I nurture this thirst because I know you are worthy
Even though your doubts keep both eyes blurry
No spells are needed to find my love
Reach out to fate cuz it fits like a glove
And punishments can be reserved for just fun 🙂
Trust me darling, I am the one
I’m not a deck of cards or just another turn
No fancy tricks needed not even a curse
The longer you wait the more that it hurts
I love you for better or for worse
My love is an ocean you better immerse
I’m available as a friend anytime that you want
The balls in your court, please use it not to haunt
xoxo
© Delia Ross. 2019
It creeps upon me like a thick fog surrounding every ache and agony with despair and fear covering me in a blanket of dirt twice as deep as my death.
© Delia Ross. 2019
I don’t have anything
I don’t have anyone
I don’t have anything
I don’t have anyone
I don’t have anything
I don’t have anyone
I don’t have anything
I don’t have anyone
I don’t have anything
I don’t have anyone
I don’t have anything
I don’t have anyone
I don’t have anything
I don’t have anyone
I don’t have anything
I don’t have anyone
Etcetera, etc…
He laps her like a loyal dog chained by the guardian of hell, her purgatory – his territory
He kissed me and the Earth started to spin…
You could have just loved me the way that I deserved.
I shriveled up and died of unimportance, in case you hadn’t noticed…
Nothing I love ever makes it home.
Love. Love. What love?
It fits more like a tourniquet
I don’t want any part of it
My eyes met his eyes which awakened parts of my spirit unknowingly sleeping and even now my pulse dances anew…
He looked deeply into my eyes and said he wanted to make love to my sorrow –
So that the eyes looking back would look forward to tomorrow
She tied the anchor to my foot and pushed me off the plank while yelling, “at least you got some good poetry out of it…”
His smile made me whole. His love is a lighthouse in a dark galaxy.
© Delia Ross. 2019
I found a dream once
In a bottle
Walking along a white shore
Beaches of the whitest sand
Tides that whisper softly
Wishes and wants in the breeze
The bottle an endless joy
From which I drink again and again
Melancholy a distant sun
Enough to keep warm
But never burn
Oceansize kisses
From his tongue
To my soul
Seagulls swooping
Bringing poetry
In their sails
Skies of glass
And shattered clouds
With every peek he is there
Love is the breeze
From which he descends
A salty essence or tears
From times he cried
When I wasn’t here
The love is life
And I take shelter
Underneath his seashell
My sighs like morning dew
Where everything rises
Into something new
Rebirth in the stars
Fears chase comets
And forget us here
Every footstep a memory
Of what’s to come
A set of two
Of everything we’ve done
A beautiful moon in agreement
Of the life we choose
Forever full
And white beaches
That never end
© Delia Ross. 2019
I’m so scared for that little girl
Who grew up abused in a broken world
By men who only ever used
Who never taught her love
Or how to be well
No one will care
Unless to get rid of
That little girl now five foot six
It matters not if love exists
For it has never reached her lips
Love serves only as a crucifix
Oh how I cry for her!
To her family a stranger
To the world a number
To death an anchor
I cannot save her though I tried
I must now stop being her guide
For I only seem to make her cry
And make her pain multiply
Oh how I hold her tight!
And squeeze with all my might
Her eyes blind from sight
Her body coiled from fright
She is a desperate, fragile thing
The gentleness of a morning spring
A seed in the dark in need of blooming
She is the breath of an angel singing
Oh how I know her aches!
I know her dreams and her mistakes
I know where her branches break
I know the thunder her cries make
Tiny frail hands always with blessings
Teaching others love was always the lessons
Helping others was always the message
But now it’s time to end the sessions
© Delia Ross. 2019
In an attempt to clean up my newsfeed, I may inadvertently unfollow some accounts I didn’t want to. I am doing a mass unfollowing of inactive accounts and I have about nine hundred accounts I need to unfollow to equal the accounts that are following me.
If you somehow got unfollowed just drop me a comment or hit the like button and I will gladly re-follow you.
I’m also sorry if any of my previous post offended anyone, they have since been removed.
I appreciate you all.
I hope you can forgive my waves. They’re not permanent waves. I only have the best intentions despite my shortcomings.
xxoo
Made in Heaven has been my favorite love story and film since I was 10 years old. It’s currently available to watch for free on Vudu. It’s from 1987 and you shouldn’t even watch a preview, you should just go watch the film. If it doesn’t pull on your heartstrings, then you’re probably not alive.
It’s one of the most beautiful stories ever written and I cry every single time I watch it. It ruined me on love. In a good way.
I decided I’m going to write a poem about it, in fact, I’ve already started.
So if you’d like to watch a really really good movie, that isn’t based on sex, drugs, horror, and rock and roll, but is an actual good story with thriving characters, and a soaring cast, go check it out. You can thank me later. Get your tissues ready though. sniff sniff
The film is PG.
Can you handle a PG movie or are you so desensitized from modern movies?
If you do watch it, will you let me know what you think about it? 😇
That ending scene, OH MY HEART.
I feel like watching it twice tonight.
We were born inside fires
I know your deepest desires
I know how you are wired
I know your hands are tired
I’ll take whatever you give me
Please though less misery
The bumpy waves were temporary
Side effects of an angel in a hurry
For when I chose to see I saw it all
But honey you are worth the fall
When my thoughts are with you
It feels like deja vu
It’s not just my soul that aches
It’s not just my heart with earthquakes
Every single fiber of my existence
Wants to cover you in radiance
And though you found me running wild
Like an angel whose been exiled
For you, I am a loyal and tame creature
And your touch will ease my fever
Our orbits in a gentle pull
Your kiss warming me like wool
I’ll give you peace until my death
And love you with my very last breath
(I love you forever and ever and ever til death do us part and then even after I’m gone, you’ll feel my afterglow of love wrapping your soul. I belong to you).
Baby girl
Let it go
Let all the doubt
Sink down
To the bottom
And drown
Where all your tears
Have settled and been found
Pearls and diamonds at the bottom of the sea
All the traumas in your life that you don’t need
Baby girl
Rise your head up
Get above
His half-empty cup
When you smile the stars glisten
When you laugh they all will listen
The Moon now full and ready for kissing
How the Sun warms you when it has risen
The Earth solid to keep you from tripping
The wind dances for you to clear your vision
Baby girl you have got to fly
You’ve got to fight just not to die
To turn the cries into a lullaby
To still have love even after goodbye
Jupiter nurtures every single sigh
Look how he shines for you in the sky
You can remember it all if you try
You were not made for cages or shoes
Or to be handcuffed at the edges of truth
You are not broken it’s only a bruise
And though aging you are the angel of youth
Baby girl you can’t remove their eyes
Or their tongues or their lies
You can’t give them a rainbow in clear skies
Baby girl I know how hard you try
Always alone without an ally
Put the blades away
They cost more than you weigh
On your fears they prey
Hate will cause a heart to decay
Baby girl you do matter
Even when you stagger
The noise you hear is only chatter
End the book, close the chapter
Cross your arms and squeeze tighter
Now again and again and again
Now pick up a page and a pen
Love is coming you just don’t know when
I know how bad it hurts to be denied a friend
Even a comet will race towards the Sun to end
Because in the light is where you transcend
But in the dark is where you entertain
Searching for life and instead collecting pain
Your head buried not seeing the horizon
Your voice silent instead of roaring like a lion
You are enough so keep trying
You are enough
You are
You
I just sort of died.
Nothing more to be said.
No inspiration coming through.
No motivation going out.
Silence. Isolation. Despair.
Gasping for an inch of life.
A real connection.
Anything other than stars to make it better.
More than planets.
Give me wonder on Earth.
In man.
Make me believe I matter again.
Finding the best of the worst.
In any cup.
Empty. Depleted. Agony.
I don’t want T.V.
I don’t want sunshine.
I just want the one thing that I’ll never have.
Love.
Care.
Help.
Concern.
I exist as a slave to the system only.
One I fought and protected.
Some can’t handle the truth.
I keep discovering more.
Must retreat.
Must nurture the dark now.
Feast on it.
Feel things inside me die.
Like hope.
Dreams.
Reason.
More pain now.
To cover the broken spots.
More calluses forming.
More soul bleeding.
Leaking into nothingness.
Becoming one with it.
Acceptance.
I am nothing.
I am no more.
But something new dying.
Which results in me crying.
I don’t even try.
The warmth on my cheek is soothing.
Let it thaw you.
All things die.
Fertilizer for regrowth.
Play in the ashes.
Taste the salt.
Rub it on a wound.
More coming soon.
More death. More dying.
Starving.
For anything.
A touch.
Yes.
Importance.
Maybe.
Invisibility.
Reality.
I don’t want food.
I need a kiss.
A hug.
A worth.
I own the night.
This is my playground.
Lu offers refuge.
Massaging my despair.
Wanting to nest my soul.
Come on sweetheart.
I’ll pull out the red carpet.
Don’t worry about the blood.
It too will pass.
I’ll walk beside you in this land.
Would you like a hand?
Another bargain perhaps?
Apophis is coming.
One decade left.
What is it worth?
Everything hurts.
He’s right, again.
Cunning and always right.
A white hole now black.
More night.
Can’t see color in the dark.
One final place for my thoughts.
They congregate in my halls.
I want them to fuck off.
They will.
As they are killed.
I slaughter and murder them.
So I can’t feel.
I can see everything clearly now.
And that too hurts.
Make me blind.
I never want to see again.
I struggle with reason. I dwell on it, rub over it like a pig in mud. Try it on, wear it overnight, sometimes invite it over for the weekend. And when pleasing, cook it a good meal. It takes awhile to break in, like a good pair of shoes that you love but that hurts your feet. They bleed and cause blisters yet you wear them anyway. You think the money or time invested is now worth the pain. So many hours pounding the streets in them. The pain never fades, it burrows and claws its way into every moment, crushing stone as you walk. Time moves on, leaving bitter trails stained with blood, a journey harder than once thought. Your worry weighing down, as peace is not coming back, and it cost more than you originally bought. In the end, you come to know every season. Every why. Every when. Every how. Reason will be an uninvited guest. Knowledge will begin to feel like treason. How could you not know? Until this very moment. With death lingering like a demon.
© Delia Ross. 2019
Forget the riches, life is vicious, get out the ditches, pick up the pieces, keep on reaching, march on speaking, build new bridges, drop suspicion, clear your vision, trust the mission, life enriches, keep repeating!
© Delia Ross. 2019
Feed you little hope until he sticks the spear into reason
And any ‘we’ that could have been marched away with every season
Any love was filed away, stamped and marked by treason
Faltered steps and bleeding eyes kept us from ever sleeping
Secrets and lies forever keeping our tongues from ever speaking
Every corner turned I am facing another demon
This must be hell though the sign said Eden
And I just stumbled onto another demon feeding
And though falling down he knows I deserve the beating
Walls of denial and regret seems to be his region
Lessons go unlearned in a cycle of repeating
Clasped hands and bent knees will cost you your freedom
Prayers in hell only causes more bleeding
Lingering thoughts of doubt causes us more needing
Love turns to hate in this garden of evil
I am an angel of truth with a broken beacon
Trekking this journey so long I forgot I was leading
Washing my hands of blood and all of this dreaming
Erasing any trail of love now that I am leaving
Scattered about in memories you’ll find my broken pieces
For me, words have finally lost all of their meaning
The only remaining step is to mark this blog for deletion
A vow of silence henceforth to keep me from this prison
© Delia Ross. 2019
You can come but I am going down
I’d rather not bring you to this part of town
You can follow but I must warn you so
Your condition is hollow and I have to go
You can spy and I wish you all the luck
However, I no longer give a fuck
You can cry and wish us all goodbye
But I know it’s just another crafted lie
You can idle and point your finger in blame
But I’m still out of worry all the same
You can get angry and cast a witch’s spell
But it doesn’t work for someone already living in hell
You can cry to God or even Lu
But even they don’t care about you
You can borrow or beg or change your fold
But you lost the most when you lost this gold
You can pretend and say that I never did matter
But here’s another problem you never did factor
I’m going going going gone
And I’m not even bothering to write a Dear John
© Delia Ross. 2019
It’s now on my IGTV
NOT LOOKING BACK Spoken word (number 4) under 1 minute long, listen on my Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/p/Byu5DFthSgr/?igshid=1eld7rjsauut
If you can’t have it, dream about it. Fantasize. Talk to yourself. Loneliness is a state, not a being. Be one with it.
Love. Even when you can’t.
Forgiveness isn’t hard. Ego is.
You’re one second away from being older. Cherish the new.
The walls we build around us to keep the sadness out also keeps out the joy.
© Delia Ross. 2019
You are fabulous! Thank you for visiting my blog and reading my words! Thanks for your likes, comments or shares! Thank you for returning to read more! Thank you for following me if you are! I am grateful for each and every one of you no matter where you are in the world! It means so much to me that you take the time to read my poetry.
Here is a quick thank you video because I wanted to be able to tell you verbally how much it means! You also get a chance to meet me very briefly. Direct link to my thank you video is here: https://youtu.be/IcNLKgwjL_U
12,000 visits!!! I LOVE YOU!!! MORE WORDS COMING!!
p.s. I’m aware this should have probably been completed at 10k but I am always late to the party! =)
The year was 1995, I was 18 and my child was only nine months old here. There aren’t many photos left that exist of us due to fires, moves, terrible exes, etcetera etcetera. It was a lifetime ago. I was someone else. Whole. Not broken.
sad empty pathetic lives… what reruns they are
he’ll never have my love or respect again. he’ll never have my forgiveness and he’s never going to be worthy of my friendship.
but now, to get up and move again… i need to mend.
sometime in the years end
i need to mend
sometime in the years end
i’ll need a friend
you said you would never hurt me again
a weight off my shoulders
yet seven feet in…
sometime in the years end
i need to mend
sometime in the years end
i’ll cry again
behind those large blue eyes
a monster lurks
never a day that ends-
always at work
he said he would never hurt me again
he said he would never
i hate you
and no amount of time
will ever change that
you know what you are,
you know what you did
how would you think
i’d not wish you dead
how did you think
i’d not wish you dead
i need silence inside my head
but there’s violence inside your bed
how did you think i’d not wish you dead
sad empty pathetic lives… what monsters they are
lurking and lusting and
draining souls
i will never relinquish control
i was head deep in
before i could swim
i’m learning how to live again
i’m learning how to live
oh for a brief moment you made me believe
in a fairytale
(but you’re really a monster from hell, tell tell)
oh ye sloth
you were treated like a king
even out of cloth
and lying on your knee
one or two or a thousand
how many hearts now bleed?
i didn’t want to be her, i plead
but you’re still not listening
you have no heart, you see
oh, and good luck on the baby
what hurts most of all, i believed you
and the thing that hurts most is, you knew all along
you knew
this is cruel deception
you are evil incarnate
the dead, risen again
he has no soul
(might as well call me a widow, i’m mourning my soul
the death of my heart)
nocturnal mourning
every morning
i should have seen
all the warnings
hating you is the only way to get through, it’s the only way i will survive. but is it wrong to hate a monster?
© Delia Ross. 2019
Hey guys!! I’m sorry if I haven’t been as active lately, not just with posting my own content but with communicating and doing peer reviews with other bloggers. I’ve had a lot going on both in my personal life and professional. I am also trying to beat a nasty illness called depression and sometimes it gets the best of me despite every effort for it not to. I am growing and deteriorating as a person on a daily basis. I can’t seem to slow the process either. I hope you stick around, and if I haven’t been as active with you lately, PLEASE DO NOT take it personally. I am trying to live my best life, without so much suffering involved like it has been the last FORTY years. People make life hard, PEOPLE. Please be kind out there, too much suffering. Just a couple weeks ago an 18 year old kid JUMPED from the I95 overpass bridge, one I had thought of driving off of several times. I was in the traffic when it happened. He was 18. I can’t even type this without tearing up. In fact, driving home yesterday and going over that spot again I started crying. It has hit me so hard and I didn’t even know him. But you don’t have to know someone to love or care for them. WE’RE ALL HUMAN, NO MATTER THE COLOR OF OUR SKIN. Actually, we’re animals just like other animals. Some have evolved more than others clearly. We’re all connected, EVERYTHING. Ever wonder why our tears taste of the ocean? xxoo
Recently I was asked if I would do a short VIDEO on depression awareness and you can watch it on the JoyforJan Instagram direct by the link below:
https://www.instagram.com/joyforjan/p/BwuvjQagf-Y/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=18yzgj2zdg08y
The Kevin & Bean Show recently interviewed lead singer of Bush, Gavin Rossdale.
I submitted a question to KROQ and they delivered it to Gavin around 9 minutes in of this interview. I was uncertain that they would even use my question because it is such a somber subject and Gavin was on air likely to talk about the upcoming new album and new tour. The host told Gavin that it was a really nice compliment, and Gavin replied wow, that’s beautiful. He went on to share a really personal memory and his feelings on the matter. He then directly speaks to me by saying my name (Delia), telling me he thought what I said was beautiful and he made me a promise.
I’ve been following Gavin since the early 90s when Bush emerged. I’ve been part of the alternative scene since then too, and the city I lived in at the time was nothing but country and back roads (the alt scene was not hip or popular there).
I’ve lived through the loss of Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, Chris Cornell, Scott Weiland (and so many more I cherish) through drugs and suicide. With Keith Flint of Prodigy having just died by suicide (and knowing all the terrible things that Gavin has recently gone through), it absolutely made me worry.
So Gavin’s promise to me means a great deal. He never says anything he doesn’t mean. Every moment I’ve had with him is to be cherished. He’s my hero, he’s my muse. He gives me light in an otherwise dark world. Watching him go through his own trials and tribulations have given me strength and encouragement to go on, he teaches me lessons that would go unlearned. I too am like a wolf, a lone wolf anyway. I prefer coywolf because I am a half-breed.
This interview is amazing because he shares such personal insight on very somber matters. But it’s even more special to me because of his promise he makes to me.
I’m honored he finds my words beautiful of him, he deserves beautiful things. You guys should go catch him on tour and join the Bush Army bandwagon. I’m praying for miracles that I can see them for my birthday, as they will be here!
(Praying for some eBay sales, gotta pay my ride first tho)! Thank you to everyone who has bought me Bush tickets these past couple years. Indebted to you.
If you want to know what makes me happy, this is one of them. “This cloud, this cloud, this cloud…”
Watch the full interview here: Gavin Rossdale Visits The Kevin & Bean Morning Show
Bits of pieces here & there. Thoughts. Ideas. Microwords.
I feel like watching you smile is one of the most beautiful things I can witness in life.
If you can’t have it, dream about it. Fantasize. Talk to yourself. Loneliness is a state, not a being. Be one with it.
Love. Even when you can’t.
Forgiveness isn’t hard. Ego is.
You’re one second away from being older. Cherish the new.
The walls we build around us to keep the sadness out also keeps out the joy.
I swear on my soul every time you smile a new galaxy is born. I can feel the after shocks in my heart. Even the Sun has sworn. Look how it shines on you.
You wear revenge on your heart.
Black soul, Black hole
Not much of a difference I know
Like a mold it will grow
It’s not too late to finish what you started.
Feasting on single lane, leaving darkness for tomorrow
Getting wasted on joy instead, I’m sick of all this sorrow
Skipping down single lane, I’ve nothing you can borrow
LOVE IS THE GREATEST CROWN, There’s no trouble here this part of town
He’s my favorite season of them all.
Everyone keeps asking me what it is I do. Well, I’m in the pursuit for happiness. Aren’t you?
Oh my tummy tum tum
Is growling like it wants some rum
I guess I better give it some….
You give what you take and you take what you give
I’m so tired of this mourning and I just want to live
Taking a break from my woes.
Did you know you could break me like glass?
Empty as a bottle.
Sometimes I need someone to disconnect with.
So evading these lines
I’ve tried to forget a thousand times
Feeling better about end days
And even less about rhyme
His voice puts movement in my heart.
But this one cut me deep like steel
I don’t know if I can ever heal
It hurts
These years they tend to cut
More challenges than it’s worth
It’s like a gunshot to the soul
CRUSH
Boys & misfortune are of most importance
Make me immortal so I can sleep forever.
My moral compass may be broken.
More cancelled invitations
I get the most in the nation
Shots of rum in my freezer
Make me less of an appeaser
I’m working on borrowed time.
I’m ready, not able
I’m under the weather and need to get stable
On and on silence is your war
He uses love like a seed
To pit in you jealousy & greed
To fight so hard for freedom
Years for liberty
Can anyone see me?
Lu once told me, all I had to do was prey.
Said you never loved
and you love me now
But you’re saying that
As you’re saying ciao
I left him lying
The trouble with love it’s trying
But don’t stick it out with a man who keeps you crying
His mouth is rot he’ll only keep denying
That’s his plan to slowly watch you dying
I never met a beast more terrifying
But why do good girls always come last?
My heart is a poet. Every beat is a syllable. Poetry its soul. I am but a poem waiting to be rhymed. Slow goes it.
You’ll soon be guest of honor at the crematorium.
Pain may appear closer in mirror.
Actually, I’m not angry. I’m fueled with intelligence and wit. I will smack thee with a mirror and say BEHOLD, SCUM. CLEAN THYSELF! 😉
© Delia Ross. 2019
That one time Val Kilmer said he loved my handle…. 😍
I’m never changing my pseudo name! 😆
I am so grateful for all the traffic that my website has been receiving. It is a great honor to be able to share my words with you and that you keep coming back to read more. As such, and as a thank you, I will be releasing my epic poem in three parts, which previously could only be found in my published book. It is some of my most complex writing to date, and if I were to have a favorite, this would be it. In celebration of over 6,000 visits on my blog, I am giving it to you. I always envisioned it to be turned into a play or short film (or both). So to the actors and visionaries out there, and lovers of all things poetry, perhaps too you should one day want the same (even if I’m no longer here). It is my legacy, my words. Edgar Allan Poe died unknown. And I’ve got visitors from all over the world, so thank you dear reader, from the very center of my soul, for your visits. Stay tuned, My Son Parts 1, 2 & 3 are coming, again as a thank you. And I very much hope you will fall prey to the story, as certainly I did writing it.
For real, y’all. I need help.
I am a good person who has fallen on bad times. I went from making $60k a year to $10k a year. I was homeless last year from JAN-APR & I’m at risk of losing my Jeep this year. Please, can someone help me? Since becoming disabled, the struggle to survive is real. I’m not married & I do not have a partner to help split living cost. I’m desperate. Any amount would help. Even a share of my campaign. I chose PayPal because 100% of your donation would go to me unlike other campaigning sites such as GoFundMe who keep a percentage. Sending out an SOS. (And big love to those who have already helped).
Chip in here: https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/85fHMkkwlj
Thank you!
With humble gratitude,
Delia / PoeEternal
P.S. My birthday is tomorrow. 😊
I realize now that it has been a year nearly to the day when I went no contact from you. My heart is still broken. But it’s been breaking since the very first time you hurt me. And each time after. And you know the things you did. I’m still trying to process and heal from all the emotional & mental damage you caused.
I still have all these virtual things of our times together, too. I don’t know what to do with them. And I don’t look at them. I don’t listen. But they haunt me. You haunt me. I can’t even look at that girl. I don’t know who she was. I was lost and in hell. You made my life hell and on purpose. See, that’s the part that really gets me. It’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that you are a sociopath. Others are coming to see.
You nearly destroyed me in those 4 years.
I guess when you think you love a devil, the devil will change. Empaths want to change the world, nurture it, give it love. Tame it. Free it. Love it.
Instead, we find ourselves breaking & changing & becoming lost. No voice, no place of refuge, no safety in our minds.
What an interesting specimen you are though, once I can dissect it all. You are the bottom feeder of hell.
I really don’t think Lu wants you there.
Whatever you are, it’s connected me to who I am. You are a special kind of sick. You gave me Pandora’s Box, I peered inside, I’ve seen the abyss and I know how evil abides. YOU’RE FUCKED.
One day, the evidence surfaces.
And doctors can study your behavior.
I encourage more of your enemies to reach out to me (as they already have). Their privacy will always be respected, but not yours.
Their support has been so appreciated.
Damn, 1 year. One fucking year free from you. From the physical you. But the rest of me is still getting on.
Again, thank you for reminding me that evil exist. I see the world differently now. I remember the pure. I am pure. A true Goddess. I had forgotten her. ♡
#survivingabuse #IwillNotBeSilent #nocontact #1yearfree
There must have been a thousand girls…There now must be a thousand ghouls…
PoeEternal 