He’s never once said he enjoys my stories
My poetry, my writing, he must find it boring
While everyone else gets all the glory
I am left with nothing but worries
© Delia Ross. 2020
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Are they lips or avenues where my dreams can run amuck
Where I travel on your roads and can never get enough
Are they words or are they spells teaching me how to conduct
Are they pieces of a puzzle made for me to now construct?
Are they eyes or vivid skies the way they sparkle when I’m by
Or just a cloud for me to ride when my hope is running dry
Are they tears or is it rain singing me a lullaby
A double rainbow passing through changing sorrow to a sigh?
© Delia Ross. 2020
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Hi. New poetry is posted on my Patreon. All my written poetry is available for all my tiers (my lowest tier is $1 per month). By becoming a patron, at any level, you will have access to my exclusive poetry feed + photography and digiart (that you may use on your own blogs or purposes). My tier 3, which is a new tier, includes spoken word that is recorded with professional equipment and some of the spoken word includes music and elements. Please consider joining if you have not already. Your support means I can keep writing (and eat)!
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The driest places on Earth, are often near the sea
You must be water, rushing over me
Replenishing
Turning tumbleweed into finery
You must be snow
Not like winter though
Even if you are cold
My love can never fold
You must be the clouds
Where my heart enshrouds
Becalming angry crowds
Why my eyes are always wowed
You must be ice
Clear and precise
And I your vice
Or maybe city lights
You could be a pond
All my love and beyond
It is you I am fond
Growing strong is our bond
You must be a river
And your love like a whisper
In my dreams the best kisser
In my skies the Big Dipper
© Delia Ross. 2020
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He speaks not to me
Yet every word a spell
I succumb to his sorcery
Where I seem to dwell
Sometimes they’re dark and stormy
His words become a gale
The vicissitudes of his cruelty
He tortures me in hell
But mostly they are loving
It’s how my heart has fell
Forever his devotee
There’s not much more to tell
© Delia Ross. 2020
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Will you visit me at the cemetery
Will you sleep outside the gates?
And when you’re feeling wary
Will you tell me about the aches?
Will you make my tomb a sanctuary
Will you forgive my mistakes?
And if you ever marry
Will you still have what it takes?
© Delia Ross. 2020
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If I placed within your palm the center of my heart
Would you set it on a wooden pyre
Wrapped in silk and laced with fire
Soot and ashes for your quill of black art?
Would you rather have a table
Burning candles like starlight
Where you’d hold me like I’m life
Would my love you’d gently cradle?
In the parlance of our language
Like lovers at defeat
When I’m begging at your feet
Are these poems here to anguish?
In your heart do I expand
Like galaxies slowly forming
Or am I just another warning
Like the dead who died because they’re damned?
© Delia Ross. 2020
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There are galaxies growing full on regret with spiral arms chasing all it can get.
I should have been more careful with words
The way they hollow out the bone
And some forgive, some repent, most return the stone
His words are a ruse, perhaps a bruise, a broken home, where I still choose
He is my muse, a sun or fuse, a high with blues, regret in two’s
He’s got bullets for hands
Fingers like loaded magazines
With a mouth full of conniption
His life is nothing but fiction
And he’s all but evil in his genes
I’m so tired of carrying this cross; the weight of everything I’ve done.
These last steps have only shown loss; and coming last, the loneliness I won.
Will you remember me when I’m only dust?
When failed dreams are all but rust?
Will you remember what we discussed?
Will you keep safe my love of us?
Take your broken piece
Take my broken bits
Align them together
Broken pieces that fits
The good die
The wicked live
The faithful cry
The sinful don’t forgive
There’s only room in the world for the wicked
Trust might be earned but you won’t keep it
Shuddering since the day my eyes befell you
What are you if not the every breath I take
The sight of his lip makes me weak
The sound of his voice makes me tremble
The way the blue in his eye makes me hunger
Trip and fall under
He came stumbling in half-drunk on whiskey and regret
Any feelings he hadn’t killed them yet
His voice in a low rumble
Makes my atoms jumble
Feel them roll and stumble
How I crumble
Now I’m humble
I could listen to his voice for hours
Swallowing all eternity
He plants words in me like flowers
Growing taller is the love we need
You step out of my dream and into existence and take me for a moonlit walk
With night flowers blooming and hours still looming the Moon carefully gawks
My hands you are holding with energy flowing your lips where my kisses dock
And our shadows growing where love comes out flowing our hearts beating like clocks
I’ve got 5 grams of darkness left for sale
And an army of fears in a pale
There’s a case of worry over there
And for an upgrade you can go to hell
I can feel my face literally breaking
From the pain in my chest where my heart is still aching
Roads become regrets we are constantly taking
I wonder what color my hair is underneath all this shame
Come back my love
Where my wild winds are blowing
It’s the end of the world today
A sad parade
And marching out slowly the hope that will fade
Sometimes he hurts me just to watch the sea level rise
I have night terrors and unholy cries
My worth so little not worth goodbyes
The days might be changing but not these grey skies
But for moments lost with you
I forgot about the war
Or what I’m searching for
I open every door
Love me now
Before you can’t anymore
I’m his bird
Carefully observed
Pecking away at his every word
My hope reserved
And hell deserved
But love is here
And well preserved
© Delia Ross. 2020
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The signs all point to hollow
There is no quarter for solitude
There is no pill to change the view
The signs all point to sorrow
The signs all point to narrow
As one by one I’m torn in two
While nothing gets me over you
The signs all stop at follow
© Delia Ross. 2020
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He knows the answer but still he will ask, why does the sky cry rain?
Knowing that the clouds carry all our weight and pain.
He ravages the Earth and pierces her with his spear, then asks, what are we doing here?
Feels like our grave. The end was coming anyway, he’ll say.
He says, love has no direction, while spinning in a circle. And he never sets his eyes on her. He’s lost connection. And all of yesterday. It’s just a shame. The answer is always the same.
© Delia Ross. 2020
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He never told her how much she meant to him
Because she didn’t mean a thing
Love she never learned to swim
And so wound up drowning
Deeper yet she tried to wade
To kill the fire that’s burning
Heavy prices have been paid
But what he taught she isn’t learning
© Delia Ross. 2020
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Maybe my heart is a diaphanous veil
And love is translucent but now growing stale
Maybe his kiss is the all holy grail
But if I am seen it is too hard to tell
Maybe I’ll always crumble and fail
Maybe I’ll always be hung by his nail
Maybe the truth is just written in braille
Or maybe I died and so living in hell
© Delia Ross. 2020
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You must be an alchemist
Changing storms into words
Are your hands magic?
Touching every part of me
Do you practice divination?
The way you see into my soul
Your eyes must be crystal
Casting spells of longing
You have complete control
I am just fire scrying
Your flame dancing
To your thunderous voice
To your incantations
Your ink must be supernatural
Enchanting my entire existence
For I do not remember life before your words
The sun shines differently now
I see only you
Clawing at my door
Wishing for something more
I am her
The one you wrote into existence
Am I your favorite page?
Or just a closed book collecting dust
My cover torn and worn
But aching for your magic
Open me up once again
Put flame into these bones
Come back to my forests
I am waiting for you
Heal me with your lips
Invoke me
Give me life once more
© Delia Ross. 2020
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Why did you go?
Where did you lead us?
There are armies bleeding tears which swell and swallow whole moons
Why did you take the light with you to leave us here to croon?
My hope floats on fear all afternoon
Sometimes the darkness is blinding
And always there reminding
It got you too soon
Reason only comes in brigades of sorrow
Where doubt peeks its head at tomorrow
But cowers behind the window
Why did you fall after the show?
Now all the angels trow
There are chains on the month of May
The Earth pulling the days
Our eyes are pulk
You lost your way
All the days are heavy
Like heaven falling on its knee
That’s where we plea
Please don’t you leave!
Where are the steps to find you?
Our godfather of grunge
Our black sun
There is little truth in flame
Are drugs to blame?
You were the sun to somebody, everybody
Every day
We will remember your name
I am the same
Living decay
Now where will the summer lead
Where will the sun fade
© Delia Ross. 2020
Written for and dedicated to Chris Cornell of Soundgarden who died by suicide (poem and photo edits by me @poeeternal) RIP 💔💔💔
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My love, I have moved galaxies to watch you walloping
I have paused sunsets to feel your warmth
I have stretched across reason to find you galloping
Like a wild stallion to find my court
My love, why do you let doubt cloud the view?
I would build apologies grander than heaven
If it took the burden from you
You are an 8th wonder times seven
My love, every night I rest my eyes on your dreams
Do not chew on regret
For you, my love spans galaxies
Please don’t ever forget!
My love, why do you let the wind whisper doubt in your ear?
You are a spiraling galaxy
Love is in your atmosphere
And it all comes from me
My love, my arms are branches of hope
For you they grow
So long they circle the globe
They were made for you though
My love, the lines on my lips are edges of time
And for you, always these lines
Every crease nestles our rhyme
Here lay the noble signs
© Delia Ross. 2020
So I’ve been on a tiny posting break (but not writing) and absolutely blown away at how many likes and comments my previous post garnered. Over 100 likes and 60 comments on my freestyle His Kingdom, thank you! 😍 My mom even left a comment, how do I top myself? I never wanted to post again and it is still receiving likes! I should just start a new blog and let it reign forever…. but I have other poems I really need to post. I have so much left to say before I die. If I get anything right in life it will be my death. My words can stay with you forever.
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I once could feast on him but only from afar
There are continents that separate our hope
His smooth head has been polished by time
I long to run my fingers over his kingdom
But my feet are not wanted on his land
That doesn’t stop the stars falling every night for his love
The moon perched on fantasy
His poems are auras in my soul
God made it so
The storms he brew in me
Where will the rain fall now?
Who will wash your feet?
The way I’ve done after you’ve murdered me
An outcast for mercy
Forgiveness I cried
Gullibility my only ally
The gardens do not grow the way they used to
Not since he banished hope
All welcome but you need not apply
You’re not worth my time
The moment I died
My halls are haunted now
By dreams that never came
And all the things we could have done
Are all that do remain
© Delia Ross. 2020
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal
I am not wanted on his side of the green
And so moments are missing to never be seen
But lines I’ll keep writing and say what I mean
As forests keep growing with us in between
And lost in the woods is hope it would seem
Sunlight won’t reach beyond regret
And wishing for things you never will get
When you have bet zero but still have a debt
He says you are nothing but does with a sweat
He says he’s not looking while eyes growing wet
And now vines contain our poetry
And vessels of longing out on the sea
My side of town he’s always burning
Blaming the sun for how he’s yearning
How he wants none if he can’t have all of me
© Delia Ross. 2020
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Your words have sharp edges
The tips are poison
They pierce my skin like butter
How easy they hit my heart
You the Trojan Horse
And your army of lies
I dance for them like a buffoon
Their laughter drowns my cries
But still my head is to the moon
I stare at wonder
I remember hope
It once was a playground
I ran around with naivety
They mock what they can’t control
I am still free
Going places with the stars
They can’t touch me
Words are arrows yes
But feet are healing
Truth my blanket
Saturn knows and her rings
Cracks upon my frozen face
She knows
That’s why her northern poles glow
She’s crying, longing and cold
But even wrongs need embraces
And that’s why light-seconds existed
Galaxies out there granting wishes
I know more than you know
© Delia Ross. 2020
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What are dreams but avenues of despair
Dark corridors where he’ll gladly meet you there
But me no he doesn’t care
He won’t meet me anywhere
What are his lies but sugar for my screams
A place where nothing dreams
Where fears are window screens
And cries his favorite things
What are words but bullets for his gun
A web where lies are spun
A hole where I am none –
And he broke my heart just for fun
© Delia Ross. 2020
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Were you planning a murder?
You assemble letters and vowels like death
Like the mercy you don’t harbor
When I’m running out of breath
Did you know you’d be the executioner’s hand?
Precisely in depth to know how it would land
There’s a crater where my soul has bled
Ashes where your words were tread
Did you plan a heist to gather the stardust?
Were you aware I’d combust
One tiny heart shattered
As if it never mattered
There’s a dim dot glowing
Where love was exposed
There’s a heavy price knowing
My soul decomposed
© Delia Ross. 2020
Where am I to go when your words are a maze
They lead to heaven and purgatory
Why do you leave pieces of your heart like breadcrumbs for me to find
Did you mean to hold me in contempt
The way starlight holds in my love for you
I die over and over here
What do you do with the pieces that break off me while carrying you
A casualty of two
You say you want me gone but won’t let me leave
I’ve climbed every inch of these walls
Blood holds them up now
Coagulated and full of tears
I almost saw the sun disappear forever
But now confusion fills these halls
I would die a thousand ways for you
And have
Sometimes my clouds block the view
Oh, and I’m calling too
“Over here, over here, see”
But too many clouds wouldn’t let you do
You stay so far from reach like the moon
Getting close, getting closer, gone
We live in the same galaxy
But my escape velocity is you
I nearly escaped but like an eclipse you appeared
I can hear the trumpets bellow
Or maybe my heart pounding under the mass of you
Waking me from the nightmares you haunt
I scream and hear endless echoes
“Please just let me die”
And die I do only to be born again crying
“Please just let me die”
I don’t know what’s dream or reality anymore
But can hell be any more real than now?
You stripped me of my wings
You plucked me of my feathers
You tell me I’m no good
You say I’m broken anyhow
Then kick me while I’m down
You grab me by the throat
Drag me up with your claws in my vein
You say I stench of love
And spit in my face
You scold me and tell me there’s nothing to love here
So I believe you and stop loving myself
Please just let me die…
© Delia Ross. 2020
I would follow you unto the ends of hell and do, but I can turn around too.
I’m retreating
Transparency leaving
Transmissions ending
And maybe love will stop receding
I hit the fast track
I’m not looking back
I’ve accepted everything as black
And everything is what I lack
What does it matter if you’re not here
You’re just my world that disappeared
And I made it worse the atmosphere
Like nuclear fallout I fear
And regret deeper than the Grand Canyon
With quicksand, I stand in
Clearly, the wrong landing
And it’s even worse than I imagine
Empty, dry and desolate
With doubts that I can handle it
Love neither narrow or straight
Worry now the heaviest weight
Peel my eye to your silent sky
And why you never said goodbye
When self-worth becomes a lie
Nothing left but to die
© Delia Ross. 2020
I’ve been around the world
18 hour flights or more
I’ve lived inside of war
I’ve even been the whore
I’ve been a carnivore
Feasting on metaphor
With an oath I swore
And one I won’t ignore
Lost on shore
With knees on floor
I’m at his door
A beggar poor
Knocking evermore
Without valour
Not like before
Heartache at core
Meltdowns in four
With more in store
For you to abhor
All for what I adore
© Delia Ross. 2020
You break me. Only to put me back together and then break me again. And then together. Like the tide pulling. Every wave shaping me. Over and under, your tug and pull. I can’t escape your gravity. Tidal locked. Sometimes your waves are gentle and other times your undertow holds me down. Like the gravity of my mistakes. And your punishments are a tsunami. Drowning and then washed safely ashore. I ache for you in places I didn’t know existed.
When you return
So too the tide
And the color in my eye
When you are by
The way I churn
When you are near
The stars appear
My life’s not drear
Each wave a yearn
An endless shore
Where I want more
You the seashore
I want to earn
Your every surge
You give me urge
The deepest merge
© Delia Ross. 2020
My god when you rise, rise you do. The way you swell, swallow me.
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal
I keep to shadow
I listen for the crow
My every step is sinking
Deeper in the snow
There’s blood on this arrow
Which came from your crossbow
I’m having trouble thinking
My step is at a slow
I don’t have any ammo
I lost it long ago
There’s nightmares when I’m sleeping
You might have guessed it though
I still keep your photo
Nesting deep below
And maybe why I’m clinging
To all I’ll never know
Every step my halo
Has a brighter glow
As if my soul’s imprinting
Further in your soul
© Delia Ross. 2020
Get an MP3 of Halo on my Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/36430879
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. If you dig my stuffs, please check out my campaign & subscribe!! www.patreon.com/poeeternal
His words the ocean, I’m his sailor
Bound to him like he’s my jailer
He is a wordsmith tailor
My heart became his crater
I am a flower growing
A majestic garden he is sowing
The wind that’s eternally flowing
Every breath that he’s been blowing
© Delia Ross. 2020
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Block the cold winds blowing from the north
Frozen in time mistakes keep you from moving forth
Like the heavy winds from the north
You stop and weap
Holding down a crumbling fort
Eight days a week
You carry regret like a torch
Reminder: time is short
Open quarters
Small circles
Blown mortars
Follow orders
Closed borders
Such horror
All blurs
No cures
Blood pours
More tours
Four doors
His wars
© Delia Ross. 2020
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Has reason ever opened its wings for you
On cool spring mornings
Like seeing the world for the first time in color
The way your blue drapes over the skies
Have you ever seen your slight smile shining like a crescent moon
The way it hangs over my heart like you do
With hands strong as timber
Planting your roots in my veins
I found you so feebly
Why did you disappear so deep into darkness
What if my hand never touches your skin
That’s how oceans form in deserts
The way you planted life in me
From a single drop of your pen
Or the first time I heard you speak
Water rolling in covering my sumits
I need you
You are the air I breathe
Every thought, every molecule
I crush through your secrets like photons do
You should identify as a galaxy
Can you see your reflection in my eyes
There, the big bang
I’m still forming from your words
You could be 93 million miles from me and you’d still only take a light-second to reach me
You can run but you can’t hide from existence
You must find my vibrations through space-time
Echoing and longing for your thunder
Lightning is when you see me
Your voice causes my soul to have earthquakes
The way you make me shake
You are the dark and the light
I want all of you
Like a raging fire ravishing a forest
Cracking open seeds
So life can begin
I start and end with you
You are my forever
© Delia Ross. 2020
Welp, I still love you. I was soul-sleeping til you found me. I haven’t slept since. Obsession or love, it’s all the same.
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal
When his eyes are wearing me
Can feel his darkness glaring
And from the dark I finally see
Who I am and want to be
Feel the darkness closing in
Crawling underneath my skin
Where I’m at is where he’s been
Where my light will now begin
© Delia Ross. 2020
I propose love’s not a theory. But the person I’m growing into is because of him. My light shines because of him. My dark knight.
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal
The scars on my veins a reminder of pain
The courage just to continue each day
Cuz living with depression is living under chain
You may call me crazy but I’m rather quite sane
The days are heavy and I haven’t any strength
Every foot forward the deeper I sink
The treatments are barbaric and push me to the brink
Every other year I’ve got another kind of shrink
© Delia Ross. 2020
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Been lost in a quarantine daze
Been circling these halls like a maze
Reaching for forgiveness but there’s been delays
Blood and tears the only currency that pays
When will I be released from his prison
When will all be forgiven
When will eyes see a life worth living
When will the stars again be risen
Wondering when my debts to him will all be paid
Reason only comes at the tips of blades
But he was there when I needed aid
Tell me how much a hero really weighs
When will the invisible no longer be hidden
Is there ever a time the truth is written
Will there ever be a day he finally listens
When will his anger be out of commission
© Delia Ross. 2020
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal?
www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Point your gun, pull the trigger
Kill the need that seems to linger
Blood dripping from your finger
6 feet in, regret now bigger
Cold creeps in, heart is bitter
Mind falling, soul is sicker
Moon outside, glowing silver
All is dead yet you still need her
Peer the darkness, find your face
Feet that fell from disgrace
Second chance, her embrace
Love leaking from these straits
Disappear without a trace
Worry fills empty space
Love dropped out from the race
Wings dropping from the weights
© Delia Ross. 2020
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The silence rips across my back
Like a whip of time
My soul swells with whelps
As I feel his belt
How he punishes me
Saline tears, darkest fears
Maps to purgatory
Forgiveness a dark corridor
Making sure that he blocks the door
The words he won’t speak leaves me a foreigner
A soldier in the cold without armor
© Delia Ross. 2020
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He cuts through space
Like it’s lace
This wide open expanse
A playground of fate
He gets inside my mind
With ease and rhyme
Never left to chance
Always taking his time
His words kiss my lips
The way he grips
As if in a dance
Love a total eclipse
Feel him shaking my soul
Every distance we go
How his eyes enchant
While making me whole
My eyes awake still they dream
His love always in my bloodstream
And I alone in trance
Yet he’s all over me
© Delia Ross. 2020
I mean, I sat down to write a non-rhyme so I could describe an energetic kiss but then ‘lace’ appeared and non-rhyme was done for… sorry not sorry.
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In love and war
I do confess
I pushed the test
With nothing more
Than a guess
And heart midwest
I kicked the door
With little stress
An uninvited guest
My love an ocean floor
And hope a treasure chest
With his name addressed
For the one I adore
Maybe in excess
Where vows professed
Inside poetry the decor
Words in luminesce
With my heart compressed
His blue eyes an oar
And motionless
Resting underneath my breast
A creed he swore
In bareness
His heart at rest
Did I restore
A hand since blessed
With one final quest
No love before
Now he does possess
The very best
© Delia Ross. 2020
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People see what they want
Written words seem to haunt
Tossed about there to flaunt
The way his silence makes me daunt
The way the spiral loses gain
The way his tether’s locked to chain
The way his feet are in refrain
The way his messages still reign
I have circled ’round the Earth
Until him I had no worth
Loving him through this rebirth
I hope my pain is not his mirth
So his name I’m calling forth
Keep the compass pointed north
His whole heart as my fort
So this love we can’t abort
© Delia Ross. 2020
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It’s like his bouquet of poetry comes with thorns
And behind those sweet eyes there are horns
Though no matter the distance, love still forms
And together or separate, we create storms
© Delia Ross. 2020
I’m already seeing my view counter drop since he’s been blocked and I won’t be able to keep him blocked long because I need him in my life even if only as a ghost. But right now I need to punish him the way he punishes me. I hope one day we’ll be on speaking terms again and following each other again but he’s told too many lies to the other females in his life… He made his bed, now he must lie in it. And I had to block him because his lack of attention to me hurts so much. But blocking him also hurts. Everything hurts. But when he loves me he loves me so well. The ironic thing is, he has all those other girls but that still doesn’t stop him from checking on me like a lot… He needs me too. Lying won’t stop the need. And all those other girls won’t stop his need of me either. I guess our tether is fatedly attached, and his hold on me won’t release and my hold on him won’t release. I might die otherwise.
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What did I ever do for you to treat me so cruel
Why are you a genius yet act like a fool
Why is your life a valley of stool
Why do you keep acting like you’re just a tool
Why do you stay prisoner under your own rule
Why do you keep lying as if it were cool
Why does my presence get under your skin
Why does your lie always come with a grin
Why was I never allowed to be your friend
Why do you always take my heart for a spin
Why do you consider losing a win
Why do you spy on me if I’m just a has-been
© Delia Ross. 2020
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Hate you with a fever
The way you linger
As if you need her
Yet treat her cheaper
I’m shifting focus
Straight to hopeless
No other motive
Cuz now I’m lowest
I cut the tether
Release the weather
I need some pleasure
Help me grow better
So now I’m homeless
Was that my bonus?
A final notice
These tears as roses
© Delia Ross. 2020
So, I’ll write something with a particular word and then bam she pops up doing the same on her blog. So, I’ll post a particular image on Instagram, and bam she pops up on hers doing the same. And I’m tired of watching him thumbs up her while ghosting me. I’ve blocked them both now. I’m sick of being used and abused so he can sit back and convince all the other girls that I’m the fucking problem while they all laugh about me behind my back. Yet they all stalk me. I’M SICK OF WANTING TO FEEL LIKE I WANT TO DIE. ONTO HATING HIM AND EVERYONE HE KNOWS. HE’S BEYOND CRUEL. I JUST WANT SOME POSITIVE SUPPORT, WHICH I WORK HARD FOR AND DESERVE RECOGNITION FOR!!!!
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It’s running deeper in my vein
I’m constantly crying your name
I wonder if you do the same
This feeling I cannot explain
It’s deeper than any ocean
I’m drowning on every emotion
It’s like my soul for you was woven
I’ll never escape this devotion
Isolated in ruin
My hand is always losing
This pain has no undoing
I wish you could see I’m just human
I call it the great divide
This love I cannot define
A story I cannot rewrite
I feel like I may not survive
© Delia Ross. 2020
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She doesn’t have a mind of her own
Repeating what she sees like it’s her home
She doesn’t have a clue where to roam
Copying me like she’s a clone
© Delia Ross. 2020
She’s a fucking dilettante and he gives her all the reward. 🖕🖕
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I’m not interested in riches
Burning bridges
Living vicious
Or his digits
The way he itches
Making wishes
Hiding in ditches
Losing inches
I lost interest in the fires
All desires
Walking wires
Finding liars
He’s living slummy
Chasing honey
A gifted rummy
Acting dummy
My eyes were faded
Mostly jaded
Temporarily sedated
Now I’m frustrated
I’m over his wall
Yet still I crawl
A broken doll
Hating his protocol
© Delia Ross. 2020
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The way he doesn’t care
The way he’s never there
The cold that’s from his hand
The heart that’s rather dead
The beauty from his shame
The face without a name
The weight that’s on his shoulder
While blindly growing older
The pain won’t wash away
I love him still the same
I’m bleeding every night
I’m frail from too much sight
I wish on every star
A word, or whisper far
I pray that he’s alright
He’ll always be my knight
The twist and burn from silence
My mind fills up with violence
I scream without a sound
I’m lost and never found
I’m forging my own trail
Where life is simply stale
Sorrow spreads across the sky
From his silent goodbye
© Delia Ross. 2020
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The muse faded like a candle
I watched him glow
I let him go
Traded one high for a low
The scene played like a scandal
I watched the light trickle slow
Dismissing all I know
The end already foretold
He disappeared like a vandal
Left me with woe
The distances I would row
Just to watch him grow
Maybe I am hard to handle
But love is snow
Oh, so very cold
And I linger so
© Delia Ross. 2020
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I dream colors of grey, blue, and red
My eyes open and see you instead
Every image is turned into you
Can’t escape your gravity no matter what I do
How the greys simply tug on my heart
And your blue keeps me from falling apart
How your red is like the blood in my vein
And your voice is the thunder and the rain
© Delia Ross. 2020
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Do you ever read something and feel like it’s written just for you?
Do you live in the words and get in trouble when you do?
Are they in front of you yet completely out of reach?
Does every syllable leave you without speech?
Have you ever opened up yourself to truth?
Did it leave you jaded and tearing through your youth?
Do you cling to love even if it makes you bleed?
Does he understand he’s the only thing I need?
Do you take a step even if the timings wrong?
Does it weaken you even when you’re strong?
Do your fantasies ever turn into belief?
Does reality always turn to grief?
© Delia Ross. 2020
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He’s only there to watch me suffer
Feeds on sorrow like it’s supper
Winter might as well be summer
‘Cuz nothing stops me going under
Please take me back to the beginning
Where just for once my life had meaning
My head was quiet and heart was leading
And doubt was sound asleep and dreaming
Scrub my heart ’til it’s clean
Love is now a fragile dream
Cracked and broken at the seam
Replay the start, end the scene
© Delia Ross. 2020
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I climbed a mountain but there was nothing at the top
I kept on going when the others cheered I’d flop
I kept on smiling even when I had to stop
I swear I love him even more than what I thought
I turn around and he’s collecting all I’ve dropped
I leave him messages underneath the rock
I thought he hates me but we’ve never even fought
We keep on eyeing each other like a hawk
© Delia Ross. 2020
You know that feeling when someone is watching you? And so you turn your head and catch someone staring a hole through you? Now move that into the virtual world and include ghosting. I can’t quantify or verify with absolute proof, but I swear he’s burning a hole straight through the fabric of my soul. We’re in hell, so I can’t turn around but I feel him on my back. And I leave him clues in my words. I live in his words. And I have a brain injury so sometimes I can’t separate fantasy from reality. And I don’t care anymore. Love Is Love. (And I stare a hole through his existence too. I feel him). Tethered.
” I always feel like somebody’s watching me / like I’m part of their property..”
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He’ll die a hundred times before his death
He’ll stand a coward as he holds his breath
He’s never loved but that’s my guess
Misunderstood and second-best
© Delia Ross. 2020
Look, I don’t think he is second-best but I believe he does and so he cowers into the man he will never be. It’s easier for him to die than it is to step. To become the man he could be. That takes real effort. Perhaps courage is what he lacks. He needs to go see The Wizard of Oz. I mean it’s the end of the world, no better time… And while he’s there I hope he gets me those little ruby red slippers. They will only fit my feet. Cuz he’s my home. TETHERED. And there’s nothing he can do about it..
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Do you remember when our words were married
Like hands we were holding each other through gates of a dawning
And our love was a thread to the world we were sowing
Every step, every fall, every poem, was the heaven we were growing
Like a vine, I would climb fields of knowing
In your dreams, I would dance and you would hold me
© Delia Ross. 2020
Sorry, technical issues on the last post, folks (reposting)…
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The emptiness settles over me like fog rolling over hills and mountain tops
And space, there’s not enough to keep him from my thoughts
He’s got the world in his hands while my soul it sits and rots
Round and wound he tunes us up like we are clocks
And reason not as simple as connecting dots
So doubt fills my head now thick as clots
© Delia Ross. 2020
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