Oh thanks for that. I’d be so grateful if I knew how to edit/fix my blog. Without having to spend $500 minimum to start over with a new blog.
But I’m glad you’re still here.
Sometimes I feel I lost my touch, that I won’t get back what I had before.
And I’ve been thinking a lot about purpose.
And how Bruce Willis (an actor if you don’t know) “recognized his entire family today” because we can’t take our memories with us when we die.
And I’m fighting so hard to hang on to a life that in two year, perhaps, I won’t remember the war I fought in.
I won’t remember we’re in a 6th mass extinction – and white people are being systematically exterminated.
I’m in the center of society watching its own extinction.
I woke up crying bleeding between my legs and poetry piling on the tongue.
And this little poem was born.
They say focus on what makes you happy (as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else).
Writing makes me happy. Or content.
Even if the context is more volcanic.
I quit therapy. Maybe I’ll discuss in another thread.
Maybe I should pay the happiness engineers $500 to have AI build me a website but didn’t we once buy software for $50 to do that? Furthermore, they want a business plan to run it???
Cuz simply upgrading to “no ads” and “use my own domain” so my readers can visit worryfree isn’t enough, on the personal plan I can’t hire WordPress to use AI to create me a website nor am I allowed to “chat support”. That’s a different paid plan. 👎👎
They can’t even fix my current issue and I sent screenshots.
They absolutely could fix it, with the flip of a switch.
Like breathing to them.
THEY’RE GONNA BURN IN HELL.
Went through everything I owned. Took inventory. Still have stuff sprawled out. Need organizers and hangers. And some other minor things.
But now I get to fixate on something else now.
The closet is full. As planned.
And the pantry, fridge, and freezer.
I’m quarantining for a long while – no family get together for me this season. I have offered to mail out cards tho.
I hate blocks. I hate WordPress. I can’t sort out the about me page no matter what I do. Even though I pay for a plan, I’m not privy to chat support cuz it’s a personal plan.
I hate how I treated you.
Even though I wasn’t in control of myself.
I just started group therapy once a week for six months and others in group say “like” and “uhm” every other word. I’m not exaggerating.
They have zero self-awareness and the conversation makes me wanna end all existence.
People do this on social media too and I wanna jump from a bridge.
It’s so hard to engage or have compassion when all I hear is terrible speech patterns.
Helps.
You’re like a little piece of string in a dark cave I can’t let go of.
Like all of the dirt was swept under the rug And tongue twisted lies were a shadow of smug For the pressure of meaning was soft like a quilt But the weight of the wrong was as heavy as guilt
And we speak in code like our lives are a riddle But the circle of destiny is not in the middle And try as we might the cross has been hung But only regret can measure our tongue
There’s something in my life that I’m still lacking And during full moon hear the devil laughing But maybe it’s just sorrow Weeping louder than tomorrow Still I cannot grasp the destiny I’m mapping
But maybe that’s the fallacy of trying I know that failures never gratifying You fall from roof Then chip a tooth And laughter sounds the same as bitter crying
So I got my little stand put together and my TV set up to be spied on. I’m still awaiting my PS5 impatiently.
I want a big stretch out lay down bean bag. Not a couch. Something like this.
Apparently people have a couch AND these.
I want the dessert first tho.
Wanna stretch out on a giant cushion to watch a movie or play a game.
Also, I’m sick of all the narcissism in society.
I don’t believe Hawaii burning was an accident.
We are under attack, one malicious attempt after another.
You voted for this.
I no longer think voting right will accomplish anything.
Gen X are the only ones capable of fixing this mess, and we’re tired.
We’ve been ghosted from society and trashed on by every demon in the world.
Millennials are still sucking on their mothers tit, Gen Z don’t know which sex they are, Boomers are responsible for the end of society.
I do not “love thy neighbor” in any capacity or form.
All I see are demons.
The immigrants do not have our best interest, they do have our best jobs.
Yellow fever is a condition in which man is cursed.
They are under a spell they don’t want broken.
Porn activates the primal side of the brain. They get off on killing. They get off on ruining good people. Over 51% want love with a prostitute. It’s been made legal in Nevada. More murder will happen.
In college, I learned subliminal messaging was used at the grocery stores (should be illegal).
Imagine what they are putting into porn.
“We don’t know why he would do such a thing”.
STOP LYING
PORN has ruined mankind.
I’m learning to set boundaries and ghost people too.
Nothing is as before The sun ain’t yellow The way people plead And bust down every door But they don’t bleed When they bellow They just unravel And yell at me Offer poisoned apple That I don’t need Still I’m under cover Collecting seed
P.S. I finally stopped losing weight and gained weight and am now 120 pounds (still size small)
Women look at me with contempt often. I guess they need someone to blame. I had a basketful of treats and doughnuts 🍩 while ordering a footlong sub at Publix and could feel their eyes burning me. I tell no lies. They were not happy with me at all. Or were projecting their own unhappiness. Either way, I’m still fitness rebounding and plan to include skating before I die (hopefully not soon). Have been going on more walks with my dog too. Don’t let them lie to you and say “10,000 steps don’t count”. My motto when rebounding for a minimum of 10 minutes is “every step counts”. Cuz even if you can only take one, eventually it will be 3 and 5. So keep going, keep moving. Spiral out. 🌀
I’m upgrading my rebounder soon.
Still waiting on the ps5 notification of “ready for pickup”.
Cake is in the future, but right now it’s candy bars, doughnuts, brownie bits, and muffins. Don’t judge me.
Cuz there were 5 staring me down while ordering food.
Like chill yo. I’m famished and dreaming of sweet treats.
I don’t want it to be my downfall cuz junk food is junk food.
It’s terrible for me. I’m gonna learn to make my own sweet treats to satisfy the cravings.
Anyhoo
P.S.S. Me and him (him and I) are so in sync, that I managed to order the exact tv stand as him, same color.
I even made a second trip to Walmart to find a stand, which they didn’t have one for my size. So reluctantly got back on Amazon and did a search and read through many reviews and fought with myself on color, and slept on it, then ordered.
Sent him a text of what I got (cuz) and he responded with a picture of his entertainment area. Same fucking one.
SAME ONE
He also ordered some shit that I got mad at him about but once it arrived said he was gonna return it (so glad)
He imprinted on me in my twenties and I had a dream about him as a child.
He’s a nihilist and most days I hold him in contempt
But I ain’t returning my TV stand just cuz it happens to be the same as his.
Maybe the algorithm is to blame.
AI is always watching
If we discuss a name via text message, TikTok will show me loads of content of shit I don’t wanna see
And I yell at him for it
We had not discussed tv stands tho
I just like to show him things I buy
And yell at him for things he buys
(Like random hotel rooms by “accident”)
“I didn’t realize I reserved a room” kind of shit
Or buying flags of another country cuz he’s a traitor with yellow fever but pretends he don’t know what I mean…
I’m a fucking oracle
I know everything but in fractal formation so nothing at all
AI did not decide on the TV stand I wanted
I even drove places hunting one down
The one I decided on came in many colors, but somehow I got THE EXACT one as his.
He’s probably my twin flame
Something weird is going on….
Tis all
I also ordered this bat wing purse thing and wallet – cuz I’m gothed out in pink these days (and my obsession was before the Barbie propaganda bullshit). I probably will stop spending money soon. I have nearly everything I need.
TikTok made me buy it. Check out Wicked Misfit for cool accessories. This is my 2nd purchase from them. Recommend.
Except a playstation membership and headset for social hours.
*sigh*
Anyone wanna gift me? 🤪
P.S.S. setting up the modem soon. Gonna be utilizing the living room again. Eating at the dinner table now instead of my bed. Adding more routine to my routine.
People miss me going live too, and now that I’m regaining weight instead of losing, I kinda wanna…
Dr. Peterson says you need routine – and there’s only so much cleaning and cooking I can do.
And my life is still disorganized after letting 95% of my belongings go
Pop up artist in Oklahoma Has no damn diploma Divorced him in a coma But darling she’s a cold one
Unreal omens Roaming like the Romans My blood is spoken One spell never broken Couldn’t love them both then?
We’re nearly dressed alike Turn down the turnpike Let’s go for a hike Heard from hope tonight
Maybe it was harder than I thought it would be Humility
He likes my tiny – My tiny tiny heart Nicknamed sunshiny His counterpart
The big girls keep yelling that I’m small / I fear he can’t see me at all
Like a volcano about to erupt I’m running amuck Let me be abrupt This government is corrupt!
Everything he writes Is about him me you us Combined in a trust Locked without fuss
To put her mind at ease, he lied With spear in side Not Judascide Cat caught the mouse Lie tied to mouth Not big the trap
Are you burning down cities? Running from the guilty? Like a modern viking gypsy? Do you fancy life more risky? Got a shot a whiskey?
AWOL / never ordered you to leave
I’m 1600 miles away from hope No room for boat Get your telescope Walking a tightrope
Has karma grabbed your foot? Think you’re off the hook? Think steps I mistook? Ban me like a crook?
I’m a fucking primate Gotta lot on my plate
You make life misery You take all liberty
I clean but make a bigger mess / to God I confess
It’s like he’s observing a galaxy from 4 billion years ago – The girl he used to know Does he see how much I’ve grown?
Adventure is more reliable than happiness Said once a therapist?
You’re a deceitful mess I learned from the best
Dear Necromancer, Nothing is not the answer Let God be the anchor And Earth, don’t forget to thank her
The nervous thumb twitch Like broke then too rich Got called a dumb bitch Might wind up in a ditch
Your new life will cost you your old one Just waiting for the dog to be done
There’s something super familiar about all these incidents Just can’t place my feather on it
He works in 12 hour shifts Might hear from him In a dozen years
Could you mumble in monotone some more / you’re a zombie chewing on my bored
I wonder where you are on my follower list Someone I’ll surely miss? Connection with a twist? Or maybe you don’t exist?
Got knocked down Lost my place Scattered humility Eclipsed across my face Nearly lost my soul Now taking second place
He doesn’t understand I don’t have love for him I don’t have love for much I don’t have love for them
He comes on like rain Smell of petrichor Bet I love it more
I know you think I’m boring Map me like you’re exploring Tell you stories that got you snoring I know who you’re ignoring
He’s so bizarre Drive fast in my car Foot on the throttle He thinks I’m odd
We are distributed across billions of light years of space That’s the love it takes That’s why our heart aches Unlimited weight We’re at infinities gate Heaven will not wait
Hi. My name is Delia. I follow/unfollow blogs. Sometimes I’m afraid to follow at all (even tho I want to). My comments are usually rude. I’m in therapy. K, thanx bye.
For instance, yesterday while waiting at a very long stop light on beach street, this immigrant was walking around half-dressed with a baby stroller, he crossed the crosswalk and I yelled “pedophile” (because I’m calling every man I see this now apparently – but especially him) and he looked back, so I yelled louder.
The light still wouldn’t change.
I noticed the car beside me also had their window down/cracked
I was like, “He shouldn’t be alone with a baby” and she laughed and cried, “I know”
I stated, “I don’t normally do that but no man should be alone with a baby” in which she responds again with “I know” and mentions how he was dressed
(It’s summer but every man acts as if they own the world, women are fed up yeeeee)
We got to continue our back-and-forth manhating for at least another 30 seconds or more until the light finally turned and I reluctantly said I had to go
There was a cop ahead at the oncoming light but I still had thoughts of “gasing” my vehicle or honking him rudely as he passed
I behaved but then the body screamed PEDOPHILE and he acknowledged and the car next to me concurred (more than once)
I gotta get out of this city, this town, these people, these policies
I continue to assess my “mental health”, and stay in the now, the cars read ROUGE
I wholeheartedly agree, it’s time
5 monster men just kidnapped an older lady, FBI put out a reward, she’s dead
The news have not reported this, it’s just something I feel
The same way I knew my sister was dead before she died
And all it took was a text from my half-sister, “she’s in the hospital with COVID” and I replied “she’s gonna die”
I didn’t go say goodbye
She died
I had a big ole blood clot and blown left lung – from the deathcare system, and was heading no where near a hospital and never will again
I would get arrested, keep me the fuck away from that god damn Satan house
BE GONE
And stop casting spells on me, they only empower me more
The mirrors are nearly gone, I potentially found a owner for the pair I got
MARK BURGESS is swine and the curse will unfold in time
The Last One of Us is not just a game
I’ve not played it – but according to research, “the elites were plagued with parasites” and there’s a super fungas strain plaguing California (where MB hangs)
FYI
The CDC are blaming “the wind”
Yeah sure and he’s an immigrant from the UK
Well, I’ve no idea his green card status or his whereabouts or whatifs
I dream of justice, real justice
Swift and remorseless
It’s not a sin
Eye for eye
My heart is feeling good enough to kickbox a face or two
Encouraging seeing big boy swim in hurricane swells — I’m learning to tame my own demons – albeit not well
Because I wound up at the park – letting every man know he was either a pedophile in love with a prostitute or “another motherfucker who thinks he owns the world”
One looked up and I instructed him to call the cops cuz it’s the only time I ever “feel anything”
No cops came.
Shame.
Too tiny. Gonna get shot or kidnapped (I’ll rip your hand and dick off)
KEEP 10 FEET BACK
I might finally be getting to see the lung doctor – after nearly blowing my lung out April 2021
Some boy I don’t really know but had a dream about when I was like 8 and he was perhaps still growing in-womb (not mine, eww) – saved my life – kinda
Because he was “kinda there” with his own selfish needs but was apparently everything I needed in moment, because he dumped loads of chemicals into me, which maybe kept my heart from stopping
I was in so much pain
My heart was having mini pre heartquakes – like heart attack – would actually need medical help if my electrical output continued leaning in that way
I literally could not breathe (and have developed new ways of coping as I have a heart condition now)
Furthermore, they may not tell you this per say, but those with heart inflammation are at risk for Adult Sudden Death Syndrome, and so I’m not out of the woods yet, as I can’t do anything that causes elevation spikes in my heart (adrenaline rushes, or even stress/anger) though I can rebound now on my gravity fitness trainer, and mine is made with special straps, not bungee cords, and I finally found more made in those style and hope to upgrade soon
I’m quite bonded with my squeaky trainer and was gonna use it til it had no life left
My body is ready for a new trainer – a tighter pad – maybe smaller too (I think mine is 36 inch)
Men: “women haven’t contributed anything to society and are only good for childbearing or serving me”
Me: I don’t want your fucking electricity
And I’m nearly tired of the $100 oil changes
$5 oil change, 10 minutes
I argued about inflation and maths and economics in college
I knew globalization was bullshite
I wasn’t for it but the would sell the propaganda and the kids ate it up
Evolution theory is bullshit
I’ve been reading books on quantum physics – Cox and his clocks, y’all are delusional pedophile nihilist and NASA is a fraud – stop taxing me
Neil Armstrong never spoke to anyone from the moon, it was recorded on earth, they had no communication towers according to NASA, the moon landing’s were rehearsed, with a fucking Hollywood director, wake fucking up
Women please especially – now before I wind up a statistical
93% of all murders happen by men (their punishment getting lighter while ours gets worse)!!!!
We’re in a 6th mass extinction!
That’s why 500 whales washed ashore, the bombs they keep setting off in our oceans!!!!! Hello!!!!!!!!!! Science is fun!!!!!!!!
Imperialism. Imagine unplugging from the great machine as a Soldier, I’ve come undone!!!!
And now they wanna lock us up for destroying us with malicious intent and purpose!!!
Some vet just murdered his 3 young children – took everything from his ex wife – who left him a key to her home – he shot his children sleeping in their bed
You’re all monsters!!!
They’re selling dicks at the mall in front of children!!!! And online at Walmart in the health and wellness!!! Why you shopping there? Everything is cancer!!!! Read the labels!!!!
We go to war with our neighbors and then let them come live here!!!!! They hate us!!!!!! CMON!!!
White slavery! The Great Replacement theory is real!!! I’m part of the 244!!!
Do you know who I am pedo!!!!!
God is very real and gracious and angry!!!!!!
Mother earth deserves more!!!!
I hate it here!!!! This civilization you claim you created because women are useless!
Fuck you! You wouldn’t be here without us!!!!!
You’re pissed about it!!!
The Developer!!!! Ha ha charade you are!!!
The Great Filter is real! It’s you!!!!!!
I can smell your stench like Agent Smith!!!!
I don’t trust a Chinaman in my country or a white boy or BLM or Latino lives matter – took all our jobs!!!!!!
I’d love to get back to an ethical job but none exists!
Stop asking for my email or digital identity!!!
I’ve sold my TV, the propaganda machine!
And tho my expensive Apple devices aren’t very old, they’ve forced us outdated, I’m not buying again
I don’t love you!!!! Or your society!!!
WordPress sold out!!! It’s all daily prompt in the feed!
I got rid of everything I own!!!!
I’m ready to dawn a robe!!!!
I don’t know how I’m reaching out to you with a brain, heart, lung injury – plus a curse
But alas miracles!!!!!!!!!!
I’m sorry for my weird behavior – it’s just the Matrix is broken, I’m gonna keep not complying!!!!!!
Morrison wanted to fuck/kill his parents and ghosted them
Father Jim
I sold all my vinyl
I tossed out things that I thought had monetary value in the bin
Many I donated or gave away
Some I sold for a quarter knowing I paid extra for the bonus disc and features, but in the end, it’s worth was obsolete
I’m not jumping from platform to platform for the developers who have yellow fever and think they are gods
Fuck social media – it destroyed the fabric of eveything
Our economy
And porn and its filthy consumers
This boy of young teenage age was staring at me in a sexual way, I snarled my lip
In an alternate universe, there is a sinister version of me, cutting of dicks, and leaving little smily faces on the walls – cuz no one has discovered my identity
🙂
So… if I dream of casting spells on someone who entered my life – then let me hang a horseshoe from my door
The same these scientists don’t believe in God but do a blackhole
It is increasingly hard to listen to the dribble of super religious freaks, knowing many are atheists themselves but push it on us anyway
Do this, do that!!!
I don’t really believe Asia was/is the most advanced species anymore
They are our number one threat and should fear the bery ground they walk on here
Here a demon, there a demon, I’m gonna expose you
I hope I settle down soon, the new carpet arrives Tuesday
I’m still focused on healing, spiritually, mentally, physically, financially (they did steal thousands of my retirement during the pandemic while I was disassociating, FYI)
I lost at least half
But those who took it were traveling to exotic locations during the pandemic – buying luxury phones and cars – with my retirement money
JFC
*insert slang*
But then, they cry “Asian hate”
It’s burns a bit deeper than that
I don’t think hate describes what is growing in me
No one ever says they wanna be an elite serial something when they grow up
People who write things like, “those who say they don’t like money but go work an 8 hour job” don’t consider that being homeless is an actual crime
Born into money, never struggled a day in their life
Don’t know hardship
Gotta incite riots to feel anything
Dead inside
Weak spirits
Lost souls
Dead man drowning
Perhaps I the same
I like feeling and seeing the sun rise and fall everyday
I appreciate how happy the wildlife are when I feed em
They tell us not to feed the wildlife but then capture and enslave these intelligent beautiful creatures for our entertainment and sell their teeth for luck
Parasites – narcissism is a plague
Nihilist
That’s all they are
And all me and the white girl can do is laugh about the insanity of it all
I can’t keep yelling and screaming pedophile, I’ll wind up in a swamp or freezer
That’s already a fear because they follow me out of places I shop, they stalk me, because I’m cute to them
I wish my ear would stop ringing
Need out the city
Helps
The crime is so bad where I live
And it’s being gentrified, just like WP
The CEO has yellow fever
P.S. you never needed to block me cuz you never added my number (I hate you)
(It wasn’t even your main two lines)
Last in, first out
Woot
I’ve met a lot of boys but none looked like the boy I dreamed about nor do any make my heart/brain/pp do what you make it do
Don’t make me delete my blog
Some lines I’m too afraid to cross – but do so erratically
She took the house and kids – probably cuz he was bad – but loved him and let him keep a key – probably to see the kids anytime he wanted – so he took everything from her – killed the kids and himself
But go ahead and blame gun laws and everything but what is to blame…
Keep puffing on my house motherfucker…
It ain’t even my house and I’m paying more than a mortgage – another problem man made
I used to drink water from the hose How I’m alive nobody knows Or God, has the ratios I’m full of lead from head to toes Line my deathbed with black rose
He said I had some seconds left in my tires, I said, well, what does that mean?
He said, “they ain’t got any life left”
I said, well, how much is that gonna cost me?
(You know, everything)
They took good care of her, cleaned up my brakes – got off the rusty business. I’m uninstalling the step up bars next stop, getting the spark plugs and tires replaced.
Eventually, the shocks and struts.
Could I sell her for the pretty penny CarMax offered me? Sure. I could sell or trade her in for a “younger model”.
But it’s Valentines, we’ve been together since 10K miles, I’m not ghosting her or leaving her in this hellhole (please God, we want out)
You seen Thelma and Louise? We’re together til the end. Potentially.
Hopefully not such a dramatic ending but I daydream of it.
Fantasize about ending my life.
Don’t want her to be a casualty of war driving off a cliff
Apparently when you take your ride into the shop, if you say things like “she’s a good girl”, “she just hit 76k”, “she’s making squeaky noises”, – they will assign more value to your ride, as my technician was still tweaking her, even after he drove her around to the front, he was on the ground, tool in hand.
I said, “can we get rid of that thang” and honestly, it wasn’t even installed correctly (so Pep Boys will be removing my step-up underbar next visit, no charge).
Struts are likely third in line for install – but poem written anyway.
I was like “can the rust be cleaned next visit” not realizing he already took care of that – as they were spic and span heading to the car (it’s an SUV)
Maybe, today instead of coming to work, and hating your job, you appreciate and value it instead, happy customer means more business – and not because you did something shady – but now you can relax knowing hooker income is incoming
Simply for doing your job and being proactive
He went above and beyond – or did his job – to the BEST of his ability – instead of quietly quitting
But there was no tip jar
There was no option to tip
I hope to hell God let’s me escape here
It’s good to have goals in hell
Some of the savings was depleted but that’s what the savings is for…
Right?
That’s why there’s 4 different saving pots to pull from.
I’ve decided I’m heading to GameStop to sell the ps4. Whatever the offer is – give it fucking to me.
I gotta replenish the gold at the end of the rainbow
I ain’t even got a TV
And even when I did, the sucker stayed turned off six months
That fucking propaganda box cost me everything
I haven’t renewed my lease so
Turned in all my library books – not wasting any more miles driving to that gorgeous dump
The sun was burning me through the window and I was asking/praying was I “doing the right thing”
“Should I be here, replacing my drive train belt”
I feel like I gotta escape a black hole…
Tires and spark plugs next
If God will may…
Make way for the Great Escape
To where?
A fucking homeless shelter cuz have you seen the price of lodging these days!?!?
Looking back – leaving the Devil in the dust – picking up my run.
Put away my gun.
Eyes focused. Sun.
I’ve been unable to delete my Playstation account – via phone or web. Infinite loop.
Called the New York times today and bit a hole in their asshole. Data deletion kind of pending. Gotta jump through hoops.
I’m aside myself.
At Starbucks, in public, I saw a Mexican grooming a young white female.
The way she clung to her drink – her straw – not making eye contact with him.
The things I overheard.
The way he puckered his lip.
How I just stood there – like a fawn -idling in my car – until she looked at me – saw my distress – and I pulled off left her there, in her pigtails and little dress – ordered my coffee appallingly – swore off society again – spent all day having issues controlling my breathing or my heart – like a unending panic attack – I threw away everything in my closet – swearing off anything sexy – and men likely forever – drowning in sorrow like a little bitch – remembering scenes at MacDonalds as a young girl I’d rather not recall
Knowing calling the cops with suspicion and hearsay is futile – knowing the propaganda they serve
I’ve gone insane
But then today
Sitting in my car
Pondering to keep an extra calendar I acquired or not – deciding that someone in fact may still need one – it being February 2nd and all – someone may have decided they need a calendar after all.
Not even 20 minutes later – awaiting my appointment – someone at the counter – “you don’t have anymore calendars do you?”
They did not…
I spoke up – “oddly enough God told me someone might need one, and I dropped one off at the front where the coffee normally is”
He promptly went and scored his new calendar, came back with it proudly.
He was still looking over it as I was leaving my appointment, like a half hour later.
Bless.
He probably won’t ever throw that calendar away.
Meanwhile, I’ve got monsters breaking me freeing me from a curse
I don’t have time to finish this conversation because I have a physical therapy appointment to attend.
They bleach their skin. Cuz Black Lives Matter. And according to the census, White lives don’t. FACTS
Asia number one
And I would’ve probably believed in the whole biblical bullshit had they not tried to convince me about some magical woman getting pregnant without any cum or some dude walking on water and now they want me to believe in dark matter, dark suns, dark worlds, dark planets – I mean you’re fucking delusional and I believe in death.
Narcissism is a plague
Those in “control” are nihilists
Man comes from vagina
Woman does not come from rib of man but vagina
FACTS
The first Bible can be traced back to Asia
“Made in China” – that’s what every Bible should say – not just the version cuz it’s been rewritten to serve Satan a million times
The Good Book with “words of Christ in red” should have never been rewritten. Period. Red flags. It’s conditioning.
And I knew it was all about control when I was just age 5.
I hated the cold atmosphere of school – and the misinformation taught
I even asked my mother, “who is in charge of what they teach us”
The day resets The bath grows cold He’s no regrets Said life is love But mostly debts Let luck manifold And you’ll have no sweats Little gold Cuz I stole success And you cannot fold
“Everything’s okay” The sky is grey The streets are flooded May sound cliché But hope cold-blooded And hell to pay My faith is studded And he is my valet The Devil mudded Dirty like the clay He won’t sound thudded Rotting on display His position rugged New earth to survey
I wasn’t ready for Halloween to end lol but I do have some Christmas items arriving soon – they made it to Orlando. 🙂
Veterans Day is tomorrow but the streets might be flooded and I may be homebound and required by law 🙃
The lights have been flickering on and off so storm Nicole is near (I think that’s her name)
Florida does lose power
I’ve lost it for a week at a time on two occasions where I live 🙂
Not ghosting
I’ve been really busy in the real world but I do have some cute lingerie sets here already that are not holiday themed – as well as a halter and booty short set that sold out on Dolls Kill – in a small – that fits!!! I do wanna get proper photos in these things.
The halter set is vinyl. I wanted it in red. It sold out. Was lucky to get the mocha – in small – and it fit. Yay! Pics soonish! 🤪
It’s just… I’ve never had Christmas lingerie before – and my package is nearly here 📦
As far as I’m concerned, Christmas started when my skates arrived – and fit!
Was lucky to score a pair at all!
And I absolutely adore these. Kinda unisex. Fits my goth grunge style.
Like the bat, I am the dark
Oh, remember how I said we need to enter a black hole feet first
John kinda took it literal and is leading the way
He is the closest to the center of the earth
Where do you think the Sun is falling?
Even NASA (if you believe) stated we were 2000 light-years closer to Sagittarius A* than previously thought
Yeah because the math is wrong…
Management should have been replaced when two kids got stuck at Nutty Putty cave – but instead they decided to make a new map that did not feature parts of the dangerous cave and re-opened it for John Jones to get stuck
She told me on the phone You weren’t doing good Felt good to my bone You suck at motherhood
I don’t know how we let it get this bad but we did We’ve been in fight or flight mode since a kid
Do you count the times I visit? You and the Devil in business? God as my witness I’ve been acquitted
Love don’t match the physics The rock is livid Are you good at listening? Do you think it’s christening?
Do you even miss me? Feel the hatred crippling? The hours wasting The Devil is your painting
Weapons and fingernail polish Gifts for a goddess?
There’s a river flowing through the ocean That’s where I’m going Omnidirectional I’m never chosen
What am I supposed to do father Sit around and watch in haste I watch the whole world spinning While their soul goes to waste
Murder attached to bad management Let’s call it “an accident” Near the tomb inscribed “very tragic” John Jones would claim it
I’m pretty good at bad decisions There is faith but no ambition The mirror’s not what I envision I wear a cloth but hate religion I’m making friends but not with wisdom Prayer feels like only wishing
I’m still pulling his hair from my creases He’s still putting together his thesis Wrapped up in all of me Until all life ceases
I’m cleaning out my closet I’ve got monsters on the run The walls they’ve got my claws in Digging for the sun
Hit the high ground Don’t want you around But wait don’t go Guess you can leave slow I don’t want you here But you mustn’t leave the show
Taking pride in my belongings Put a reign on the longing
Homes should come with manuals Basic do’s and don’ts – we’re animals
I transcribed your dream The message read: BE STILL But there could be a landslide On this hill Careful where you’re putting Down your gear And maybe ground your fear Just be still You need courage The end is near
I love you.
I’m living in a parallel universe Four simultaneously The search for purpose Only finding curses Weathering leather And bloodied verses Unholy wishing Gaslighting nurses Controlling lightning I come through circuit Rarely truly surface Far reaching Angelic Though sun a furnace The Devil’s hand is sternness I’m too damn earnest
Homeostasis The racist call me racist His poetry as an oasis I’m running out of patience
Invite only I’m growing lonely
They’re planning an invasion The Asians
It’s like he’s pushing me to the edge So he can follow suit And if I leap from the ledge It’s something he’ll pursue
Dating is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store
“Problem loading content” Not sure where hope went He’s rarely present These halls are haunted
My hair is 1000% homegrown from my skull yah know… (I’d let you be the keeper of my bones)
I need less resistance But I keep pushing the distance Confusing the algorithm Changing logistics
And he’s persistent Budding appearance Creating division Swollen and twisted
How to not fall into a pit – I haven’t learned it
There’s a spider living near me He keeps building webs And though I’m surely cleaning He knows my habits well (true story)
Every mirror is haunted with my reflection
I’m suffocating Crawling through your mines 120 meters inside 30 feet below a deadline
How to create healthy boundaries instead of building walls? How to find stillness instead of crawling down the halls?
He’s sabotage Removes my camouflage
One second applause Then next dislodge
Knows just what I want His hand will taunt
I got your message Unintentionally I felt your presence Was it meant for me?
Earth will become hell I’m holding the seventh seal All of heaven will fall silent I’m not here to heal
My closet is full of dead dreams The drawers filled with hurting The handles broke and dirty I’m over 40….
I was born with an extra vertebrae I got the death jab They altered my DNA Feel I can close hell’s gateway The more they order The less I obey People dropping dead Next month is my birthday Some call me evil God I won’t betray
He’s running circles Watching me evolve Climbing crimson skies He knows how hard I fall
Fall down seven times Get up eight I’m morally bankrupt With a penny on my plate
It’s like I’m crawling into a sinking ship, and he’s dying to come with…? 👀
Sometimes he leaves me breadcrumbs of where he’s been Maybe kisses of magic Maybe stitching in havoc I’m here idling
I’m looking at star trails And I’m burning all my matches Leaving webs for what he catches Or a map leading to more spells?
John is down here with me I talk to him like he’s living
These guys out there buying fake diamonds And truth is like silence
Have you found the secret book? It’s a world of deceit Well I’ve ripped your pages Feel incomplete for what I took
13 months of 28 days
With an added day of resurrection
13 constellations
Hesitating every direction
365 days of lost conception
SEPT equals seven OCT falls on eight Allow me to elaborate
NOV enduring nine DEC is ten JAN means eleven Your eyes look just like heaven FEB is twelve I know you’d love me if you didn’t serve yourself MAR ends with thirteen April is for birthing! (the starting one) Now count them up April is the first month We’re living a different time
APRIL IS THE FIRST MONTH, THE CALENDAR IS 13 – feel free to check the star charts – the sky – whatever you want – 13 constellations – tell the Devil he’s losing time – he’s not getting mine 😈
The truth don’t lie – Neo open your eyes
SEPT MEANS SEVEN NOT MOTHERFUCKING NINE 👍👍
13 x 28 = 365 (you’re welcome) (don’t forget the plus one to grow on – resurrection)
LEVEL UP ASCENSION GOD MODE ON (humbly and universally) (you die in the Matrix, you die for real for real) (have fun)
So change is hard. Reprogramming requires commitment. Daily sacrifice. Stopping negative thoughts. Mindfulness. You gotta climb after that shit like Mount Everest. YOU GOTTA WANT IT.
“But I like being sinister”. You’ve never tried anything else. And that’s the Devil talking. You should be put down. Like a homeless pet. Or an animal with the taste for human blood.
You shouldn’t be allowed to wander the streets of a “civilized society”. 🙄
Personally, I’m under development currently.
UNDER CONSTRUCTION
I want to learn to exist with another when the time comes.
I also need a class on organization or for somebody to help me but I am still trying to figure it all out.
Windows open. Fresh air. Detoxing on Apple Cider Vinegar and Black Walnut & Wormwood DAILY
I MADE IT THROUGH ANOTHER NIGHT
I’M GOING TO TRY TO MAKE IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAY
I don’t have any design skills
I move furniture and things around from one spot to another
There’s got to be some better order
I hang things up with thumb tacks
Curtain’s are a foreign concept
I’ll eat food cold from the can 😑
Some people are rich and eat from pizza boxes while judging from their empty thrones
I swear, There’s a ghost in my machine! Even chaos has routine I hope he knows how much he means Perhaps the haunting there is me These halls are called a labyrinthine I think we’re both lost equally
His poetry is alcoves and passages Backroads and damages Wet clay Lost messages Disdain Bad management A red flag Labeled “accident” Atomic bomb He’s inadequate And the reason For our rising rent
I think the only justice is to have the establishments heads on a platter, otherwise I could’ve gone my entire life, without having learned of that tragedy
Ugg
Crucified upside down and all he got was a plaque
His bones aren’t at rest
He didn’t want to be left in there!
But you can dismantle a bridge so you can watch prime TV!
Excuse me, I need to go back to disassociating
This will include going through my recent camera roll and uploading footage on my TikTok that might be worth looking at
From one Asian app to another
And I have to limit my use there because it makes me sick
The advertising is making me sick
The constant product placement
The gaslighting on the labels
The Blair witch shakiness
I spend most of my time writing ✍️
Photo captured this AM
So, I’m sleeping in the lion’s den, with no fear, per the Lord’s instruction
But you know what happened to the couple riding their bikes down the street without any fear who had just bought their dream home six months prior, right?
Slavery started in Africa and they the soul-sucking demon narcissist want us living in fear.
PoeEternal 