Christmas Mourning

All alone on another Eve
Does it matter if I’m well or sickly?
Loneliness is eating through my soul like a disease
I wash it down with eggnog and whiskey

I’ll be lucky if I make it to fifty
I feel so exposed yet empty
On and on my tears will stream
I feel it all yet feel nothing

My purpose is few and far between
Climbed through his window, it’s getting darker it seems
Fighting for more than jewellery for the queens
Lost somewhere between nightmare and a dream

Is this purgatory?
For the living?
Monsters keep following me
I feed them honey

It came, it saw, it went
All my energy is spent
And I’m drowning in debt
With the economic collapse, I slipped
I’m such a catch you bet
Haven’t met my enemy yet
His name is death

I’m sorry you feel I am not worthy
Of anything
A lesson of, “I too agree”
But please keep laughing….

Let me take a knee…
You are the king
Of the filthy
Let me kiss your ring

I’M BOWING

YOU ARE WINNING

Don’t visit me at the cemetery

Where I’m going…

I mean, you already killed me

His words hit like an EMP
A shock wave rushing over me

Unwrapping tears under the tree
Fears this Christmas eve
Rain and invisibility
The very essence of me

© Delia Ross. 2019

Christmas eve 2019

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