I hope my exit is ripping through your home Like the direction I go Like the hope you don’t know Like the love we won’t sew
I hope regret is chewing like a mole How you’re never feeling whole Now it’ll never be a goal You have no soul
I prey bygones have dug a proper grave And to lust you are a slave Now you have a place to pray God won’t listen anyway
I hope hell becomes your permanent cave And your tears break wave after wave Like my heart you failed to save You’re living decay
I hope the winter solace becomes a permanent artifact How with her you’re always shacked How your truth is always blacked Who I am, you’ll just retract
Lies! With the devil you are packed And she clearly has your back Every lie will leave a track You’re both an act
Read my new poem Bed of Bones on my Patreon! You get loads of exclusive content, poetry, photography, and digiart (images that you may use for your own blogs or projects, all for $1 per month!!!) Plus, I get to pay my bills and eat, which I’m struggling to do so.
Read my new poem Bed of Bones on my Patreon! You get loads of exclusive content, poetry, photography, and digiart (images that you may use for your own blogs or projects, all for $1 per month!!!) Plus, I get to pay my bills and eat, which I’m struggling to do so.
If you appreciate this blog, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon: www.patreon.com/poeeternal
If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here.
I’m now on Twitch! I’m going live with spoken word soon! Thanks for following me there! Hit my channel at: www.twitch.tv/poeeternal
How is it you fell into my heart without any warning? Like the lightning swiftly coming And maybe from Venus thus forming Color in my eye, an overflow of becoming The words you write like winter mourning Turning me into jewels you’re still adorning Our flame is burning For you I’m yearning I’m fully forming
Did I tell y’all I caved after 9 months and broke my New Year’s resolution of not dying my hair by dying my hair Black Number 1 just in time for Halloween? I dids! 😂My hair is still growing long. Not allowing another hairdresser to touch my hair cuz they’re all just average and do everything I ask them not to do. Never gonna Botox my lines. I earned every one of those. For the record, most of the girls that are idolized online have fake long hair, fake nails, ect but this is what guys prefer which is why I have little to no support… I’m “real”. I still feel like a true goddess, you know, the kind the world has abandoned for being “too good” or “too opinionated” or for simply being “too me”. These snaps don’t show the blackness of the black. But glad to be back black. It’s my favorite color and my mom and sister have the color naturally. Nope, not me. Just had to be different. AKA difficult. Despite all the enemies made and hate in the world, I recently managed to turn 42 years of age, without one gray fucking hair or piece of plastic in my body… SORRY NOT SORRY. GO AHEAD AND DENY ME FOR NOT MEETING YOUR FAKE BEAUTY STANDARDS.
To him: I love you still so much tho, even when I’m no longer around to say. And you should print these because it’s not true about things staying online forever. I’ll always wonder what life with you would be like because being with you is the only life I want to live… 💞
Still crying by the way. The sloppy, eye makeup running down with my snot and tears kind of crying. I love you. Even tho you deny my existence just like the world and Judus denied Jesus Christ.
Do you also deny that someone existed with that name who got crucified? Or just that fairytale of a bible that man tries to sell you to try to keep you from acting like a beast, tho you still do, but donate to charity or the church or in other ways to ease your conscience instead (to whomever the shoe fits)?
You could try running to me instead of the bottom of the bottle.
You could try acknowledging my existence again.
Fool. I love you stewpids. So much it god damn hurts. God damn these endless tears!!!
Or deny me a third, fourth, fifth, what number are we on my love? Betrayed with a kiss. Oh, Judas…
I get lost in that eternal longing Like a lonely ghost haunting Your words, your grounds, you’re all that I am wanting The daily daunting The nightly taunting In circles, my feet towards you keep walking
Purgatory or desire Cannot distinguish if purge or fire The written wire The lines drawn from hell to higher A wanton vampire From wish to liar
His blank canvas, or missing page Off on my own in fits of rage The way we age Can’t face the stage The chance to talk or just engage Escape this cage
I’m trying to make amends I make more enemies than I do friends I’m sick of bends How he pretends How every road has more dead ends Though love he sends
You’re free to go Where the wind will blow Disassemble and row Nobody gotta tell yah so So go on and show What your feet can stow
Hello, good evening Tormentor May I call you Mister? Mister Tormentor? Word hipster Hard hitter Love quitter Still with her?
I go from tuning To finely pruning They say I’m ruin I got sin brewin’
His voice is a soothing surf Not a curse I need him and it’s getting worse For what it’s worth
Our lives aren’t permanent I was born and in effect, I’m not perfect Still mistakes you’ll erect On display my regret 1, 2, 3, now it’s set I’ll admit, I changed my bet But you are dead and now I’m next
He was gone But his eyes kept looking back And now love was a balancing act Her heart atrophied From the love it lacked
It is so obvious to me concepts But then I am gullible and miss steps
She cried so much He made a levee But it just keeps flooding Her tears are heavy
There is more bad than there is good It gets to me more than it should
Constantly pretending it doesn’t hurt at all Restart. Repurpose. Throw it up against a wall Reorganize disaster before they see the fall Rejection. Redirection. He will not take a call
Taste the sin, twice the infection Long-distance waiting, I cannot face inspection Hours non-debating and time shows no affection A trip to my own mind, a nightmare his direction
Everyday, I’m waking up triggered Just today, frustration got bigger
He must exist in some galaxy far from reach; Like my company he won’t seek
I’m stone but you cut through me like water; making me soft yet harder.
There’s a positive and a negative in everything I’ve learned; even the outcome…
I peer into my dream as if you’re there – A hundred million reasons why I care
His words a sword cutting through stone; I guess I’d rather be alone.
Read the lines in between, I do get what you mean and, I’m not searching for a thing…
Transforming into high seas Don’t wanna be on my knees Or marching in an army
My dreams of him live in endless meadows Where fears have been foreclosed Never near the brink of extinction Our love can never decompose
And now he’s building a nest Right where her heart beats best
Both try to speak though tongue was held They try to walk but they both failed
Sinners have acute senses sinning
One day she looked down at her hands and didn’t recognize them anymore.
Wounds she carries of others crosses. Her hearts too heavy from all these losses.
Wrap me in your worlds; only want your words.
You’re always passing by Why don’t you come inside And stay awhile by my side
Secrets aren’t for telling Even when we’re yelling Secrets aren’t for selling Even where you’re dwelling
I don’t know if he’s iron or sorcery / He’s got a hold on me
They come, they go I’m high, then low
The trouble with worry is that I worry there’s trouble.
He yells “retreat, I am the dark” But, he is the way for light to embark It takes both to fuel the heart And when it comes to love they hit the mark
“…You have to cut the cord”
“No, I can’t live without you…”
“Babe, you can’t stop existing just because I do” (love is keepsake, love is forever)
I gave you my best angles My mess and my tangles
She said, “you finally showed up. Took the damn end of the world, too…”
Break the chain, break the link, don’t wanna be in sync The way your eyes and my eyes leak The way we talk but never speak The days prowl on and we are weak But life is cruel and so are we And I guess we are both guilty But neither life is a life free And that is why we’re bleeding ink
Couldn’t sleep because I’m dreaming of you (so I wrote this instead)… The love of my life. His name is Sam. He’s got some teeth issues going on, and other medical stuff, but he enjoyed our day out. Look at that smile.
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I’m now on Twitch! I’m going live again soon! Thanks for following me there! Hit my channel at: www.twitch.tv/poeeternal
Hi guys. It’s my birthday today. And also the 12th edition of The Saturday Symphony. How auspicious is that? Here’s a little senryu to kick us off; With Age I Welcome Wisdom This week’s three featured posts The games of sorcerers by Olga – If you’re a Tolkien geek like me, you won’t find a […]
A very happy birthday to Jude! And thanks for featuring my work over on the Saturday Symphony! (Please visit the original blog post by clicking on the blog post shared). 👍
Me at 5 AM with unbrushed hair. Things get wild at night hair’s so long… (it’s all real too). ((I keep shaving the other side off)). (((I might put a razor to it again cuz I like fucking things up)))hellos. my studio needs design help. Has anyone given my new spoken word piece a listen and what did you think? Thanks for following my Twitch! Open mic night coming soon! 🙂 (but fears, big big fears) ((i iz shyyyy))I have 3 gigantic mirrors and don’t know what to do with them 🙂 “…sometimes I think I’d like to watch them burn” 🙂
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I’m now on Twitch! I’m going live again soon! Thanks for following me there! Hit my channel at: www.twitch.tv/poeeternal
Sometimes I experience words as if they are new That’s what your written word can do Pushing and pulling through and through Take my breath, turn me blue Subjunctive mood
Lay it out for me in lines Penalized Marginalized Revised By your red pen, I am chastised
Twisting and burning Your pens always yearning Speaking of truth as if you are learning Replacing your mask while your lies keep turning Every single day my anger is churning!!
Lines! Lines! The devil’s crossing, the way you’re talking! The constant lusting, a poor man’s cursing The way you haunt me The nightly stalking I can’t keep walking
I’m more than drunken babble Jagged edges traveled I’m more than all you saddle Or the porn that’s on your channel
Stop pretending you’re something you’re not The baggage you carry weighs alot Still licking your mask for all that it’s got Worried the truth simply might drop
I go from wanting to block him to wanting to fuck – I go from ‘I hate him’ to “he’s my buck”…
Jagged edges Overcrowded ledges Falling into hedges Deserted second pledges
Wishing things I haven’t Rotten choices maggot Fine tuning an old habit Lessons always absent
Why do they always have to lay on me their personal conditions? I want to muse not defuse the hourly emissions Confessions, obsession, next the rejection The highs, the lies, twice the objection Undermining and poor correction Next you know there’s more affection Every step has got you guessing But no one ever moves direction
From none to some From some to none From birth to young From aged to numb
From luck to curse To curse from luck From fast to stuck From good to suck
I’m still finding bones you buried Death the only thing you married
I wasn’t around love and nurturing growing up I was a petite girl beaten, I had it rough My mother, my sister, my father’s, they all were tough From blood to bruises, scruff was the stuff
The frog doesn’t know until it’s too late that the water is hot People either loathe me or they love me alot Maybe I’m formidable or maybe I’m not Maybe you’re alive with a heart full of rot
He left but his silhouette remains Life is quiet where shadow overstays Not even a whisper asks if I’m okay
All you ever give me is your poorly drawn lines. I’ve heard this excuse now a million damn times.
Stop pretending my love is a crime Stop telling others I’m not worth a dime It seems you’ve laid integrity on the line Darling, I’ll win every time
Lure her where light breaks Offer her heartaches Remind her of her mistakes
He made his bed though he wasn’t prepared The road she was going he couldn’t care It seems her worries wasn’t shared Or maybe underneath the hiding, a boy was scared
I left you like a ton of bricks crumbling
My rearview shows the void A boy devoid Self-worth destroyed There’s nothing to avoid
Tear me down Disassemble words ticking Fingers clicking People bitching Darkness my gown
Dreams still wishing Lies keep twisting Sorrows non-fixing Love went missing Watch me drown
I can go but the only thing it’ll prove is that I’m gone…
If only forgiveness were a page to turn All these hills are mistakes I’ve run And I cannot change the things I’ve done
Got my enemies watching with a telescope You say you hate me but you know I’m dope I see you clinging to my every hope You pray I’m drowning tho God is my boat
Spoken word coming soon to my Twitch TV! Watch this space!
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Written, recorded, and mixed in my home studio! New spoken word!! Free MP3 download or listen here (good speakers recommended)! Don’t forget to like or comment for positive support! 😄
Guys, this is me playing my own guitar and reciting poetry. I can do both! I’m terrible at both!! But I do promise to bring you some more real guitar playing with my spoken word in the future!!! I need a band so I can focus on performing the vocals for you- which is why I use GarageBand – because it’s terribly hard to play the guitar and to perform at the same time, at least for me! I hear you, you say ‘practice practice practice’ but then stage fright kicks in and let me just say it’s easier if I can just focus on performing! I also took Drama 1 and 2 in High School, have done minor acting roles, I dig improv so much, but I don’t know if I could ever do it like Jim Morrison did it. He had stage fright too. Which is why sometimes he would close his eyes or turn around. “Turn the fucking lights down” (because he didn’t want to see his audience).
I LOVE GUITAR. My depression and health issues keep me from playing (I won’t tell you how old I am, but somewhere like 420 years aged). My bones hurt everywhere. 🙂
If I can keep the support rolling in, I’m ready to move into making spoken word video. Everything I do is time consuming and you don’t see the creation process.
Anyway, I recorded this little piece for my muse last year, I probably haven’t improved much in the guitar area. I do not record from my squeaky chair though and this was live from my squeaky chair and recorded from my crappy cellphone. 🙂
I’ve been songwriting a lot lately though which means I need my hands on my guitar. 🙂
Photo from this morning – check out my new spoken word!
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Heaven’s Gate is where Earth meets the sky I’ll get there if I try Forever searching for a hello or goodbye Only finding time to cry
These mountains I stumble and crawl Every day for you I fall Gathering mistakes for monuments standing tall You’re my favorite of them all
I’ve never gone to open mic night or sang karaoke due to my terrible stage fright! I’ll be attempting an “open mic night” on my Twitch TV channel soon!! Elite rhyming poetess (I live and breathe poetry and have a taste for rhyme)I didn’t record this spoken word with my phone so please hit the like button if you enjoyed the poem or the spoken word!!! Equipment used: Epiphone amp, Digital Reference microphone, Mac computer, Garageband, my blood, sweat, time and tears!! Hit the like button for God sake (or drop me a comment, I love those)!! =) Heaven’s Gate MP3 Cover art
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If you appreciated this post, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
If you appreciated this post, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
Red fire sunTrapped in forest of longing Watch the sunrise come
Don’t forget to show this post some love if you enjoyed it, that way I know. Hit the like button or drop me a comment! 😄
Pale and withdrawn Thank you for all your support here, there, everywhere! That’s all for now. Thanks for visiting my blog!
The only thing missing was some fake blood and my custom fitted vampire fangs… 👍
P.S. I’ve been painting my lips red since I was 13. I never outline my lips. Tomboyish mostly and prefer a natural, blushy tone. I also don’t want botox or lip enhancers to kill my lines. I’ve died a million times. It’s written in these rhymes.
Lurking underworld with resting bitch face front-and-center… HOOAH
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Got my finger on the block I guess it’s better than my Glock I know you watch me like a hawk And then you turn around and mock
I know I’m always in your thought I’m not quite the sinner you sought I’m the girl you never caught And you say you love me naught
Gonna block him again. Why not. That way, I can ignore his existence too. Eye for an eye.
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Photo of the ocean taken & edited by @poeeternalOh, hello insomnia
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The frog doesn’t know until it’s too late that the water is hot People either loathe me or they love me alot Maybe I’m formidable or maybe I’m not Maybe you’re alive with a heart full of rot
God knows…I need a vaca from responsibilityIf my brain only had a pause button…
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I lay my head down on silence like a pillow Stiff The dreams are stagnant His lies are foul My hope sluggish I cling to love like a parasite And without sight
Envy is black moss Ivy-thick doubt Twines twisting around his silhouette I watch clouds form from longing Rolling thunderous covetous hands Prying into my desires like butter The wind is brewing strong regret
Quick strikes of lightning when world’s collide If only nightmares were soft satin slippers One could wear proudly his crown It’s lost underground with the thicket
I have two shadows And not one to trust
I yield to confusion I give him skeleton keys to my home A disorderly garden wrought with weed Tall are worries Watch him stall Even the moon grows anxious and full
If I turn quickly I might spot a ghost Rummaging through heartache With fingers dripping from ink and mud
Tormented by what is And chained to never was
Or maybe that’s just my reflection
If per chance you stood near My gravity would rip you to shreds Our halos are dancing instead
I’ll take part of you The very best piece of you You have the best of me too
There’s nothing that I have when I die that I keep There’s not a word that he’s written that has not made me weep Longing comes in floods, I guess we get what we reap Treading flooding waters drowning where his soul runs deep
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If you appreciated this post, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
Do you ever feel me clawing on your existence Why push for truce then give resistance You know for you I’d shut away the distance If you call my name I’ll come this instance
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If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. You are not alone.
Will you be there to watch your mom die Or will it be by the hand of suicide Years and years of these trials Hard to keep you by my side Took a chance once or twice And might succeed tonight – oh son!
Some call it paradise But it’s a parasite Understand what living’s like It’s like your under knife Want a hand to get it right Don’t leave the world a fright – oh son!
Accept that life is might Don’t have the heart to fight I wear this sadness tight Like a rope in flight Sorry’s nowhere in sight And I’m alone, alright! – oh son!
Y’all, I’m fine. It’s a song I’m writing, and I wish I could get the melody from my head to my guitar and my vocals. I also wish I could write a guitar solo from the tip of my tongue the way David Gilmour can. I can’t. I know maybe 4 chords. I can’t evenwhistle.
I’m sharing my struggles with you. Because there’s a 50% chance I might not make it out alive… dark times.
Depression is when every part of you wants to give up and roll over but you crawl on, in agony, anyway.
Some escape this despair, for other’s it’s terminal. There’s a 50/50 chance for survival. You’ll need rigorous response to recover and live with depression. Currently, I’m trying alternative treatments and therapy. Stuff doesn’t always work. Sometimes I become immune to treatments. Sometimes I disappear for days and no one knows where I am or hears from me. Sometimes they force treatment on me, throw me in rubber rooms, where it takes 6 people to hold me down just to shoot my ass up with Thorazine. Regardless if you go voluntary or not for in-house treatment, they will take all your clothes from you and your phone, you can’t have any of your books, but you’re allowed the Bible, you can’t talk to anybody, you can’t read magazines or listen to music, because there’s this underlying misconception that “stuff” can make you better.
And then no one wants to admit to having mental health issues because you get called “crazy” or other demeaning terms,and often the closest people around you, will use those terms against you when they are angry.
If you are struggling, I’m not going to say it gets better, because honestly, it gets worse. Depression isn’t about how much money you have or fame, it doesn’t care if you are broke or rich, and that’s why rich people die from depression too. But these things can be symptoms of depression. Depression can come about just because it wants to. It doesn’t take a death, or job loss, divorce, or any other event to be depressed. That’s why you shouldn’t ask people, “what do you have to be depressed about?”. Depression is a mental health illness, you’re ILL. You might need meds, therapy, short or long term treatments. It’s not your fault that you are ill. You are not alone. Hang on.
Edit to add: Sometimes depression is environmental so it doesn’t always require therapy or treatment. Sometimes it requires a change in your environment or situation. So don’t always assume a pill can make something better. And don’t push big pharma on others or make demeaning comments like, “you haven’t taken your medication have you”.
Hellos. I’m fine despite dark thoughts swirling like a nebula. Depression.
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If you appreciated this post, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
If you dig my blog, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
I went to visit the tree we planted The seed that fell as our hearts connected The hope that grew as love erected A time before I was neglected
I buried my heart where you rejected And even left faith if ever collected I have found peace and wrongs been corrected The tree keeps our poetry safe and protected
I still plant his poetry in the better parts of me… his entire existence became a nebula for my poetry and to be honest I haven’t stopped writing about him. I wonder if he still reads these.
In an alternative universe, there is a tree growing with our initials, threaded together by our poetry.
His existence changed me. It’s still changing me. I wish he grasped the power of that.
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All this hair is like a furnace in FloridaOne Freckle for every reason why I love youAlways lost in translation…
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I climbed into his void like a womb Still I tell myself he’ll return soon Months go by it’s just me and the moon I guess my words did not make him swoon
I wear his absence in a darkened shroud Repentance for mistakes not allowed I hover over him like a cloud I kick and scream loudly as a child
I trust all the the time he is a liar And I don’t believe he didn’t feel my fire There is no cure to kill this growing pyre Well he went away but he didn’t take desire
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Cut me up and piece me back together, I’m still into you…
I’ve tried to kill the need but it just grows stronger. I need you hard.
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My birthday is in 3 days!! Still alive and kicking!!
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You tied the noose then left me hanging You pledged for days then changed your aiming You point your finger loudly blaming You have no proof for what you’re claiming
Your youth is gone, you’re well past ageing Your actions don’t match words you’re painting And every step you’re proudly feigning I don’t believe a word you’re saying
To be honest, I think rhyming gets me off. I get euphoric after I’ve pieced together a decent story. Sure, writing is hard. Rhyming is harder. But you wouldn’t see it that way if you saw me in a dizzy spell writing, sometimes pieces come together so quickly. Or the fact that I live and breathe rhyme 24/7. I think I might have an addiction, albeit, is it a healthy one? I literally write anywhere, and while doing everything. Sometimes I force myself to stop writing and other times I think I’ll never be able to write anything ever again. But alas, I’m still rhyming *sigh* and have been since the age of 12. I fell in love with poetry in the 3rd grade though, when I read an Emily Dickinson poem (I talk a bit about that in my thank you video on my Patreon for my patrons who join, so the video is still there if you are my patron and overlooked watching it. It’s been there since the beginning of my campaign). Anyhoo, sometimes I think I don’t have a drop of rhyme left in me. And then it is flowing out. In heaps. Like lava. And often with tears. My rhyme contains my soul. I lived in a very abusive environment as a child and writing became my escape. Writing was my coping mechanism. And still is of today.
My attempt at “But is it art” below… (but is it art was a saying me and my best friend used to say all the time when we’d fuck shit up. Like once, we redid a chair by putting our handprints in paint all over it graffiti style and writing “but is it art!?!). She died by suicide and I’ve never been the same. But all my attempts at art end with, BUT IS IT ART!?!
I nearly didn’t share this for a number of reasons. But here’s the thing, I don’t want fake boobs. I like feeling things. Might account a tad bit for my poetry. But for real, I’ve had many guys complain that my boobs weren’t fake. Had a guy break up with me in my 20s over it. And I have been peer pressured by society and men to get plastic surgery that I don’t want. I also breast fed an entire year, I have natural curves. And I don’t want to replace my sex organ with plastic for many reasons. I could have made my nipples harder I suppose, so hence ‘soft nudity’. I wasn’t trying to be vulgar or even sexual. Just existing in a hot bath and trying to capture my soft curves. Attempting to be artsy. Instead, I worry now my boobs aren’t sitting in their best, upright position. They don’t meet societies standards of perfection. I’m tired of feeling things though so maybe I should start getting plastic surgery and fake nails and fake hair and fake lips and fake eyelashes and fake tans… throw a fake personality in there too. ((Also if you’re one of the guys who’s ever put my body down… fuck you))! For real tho… desensitized nation 101. I’m not a model. I’m not a porn barbie. I’m a warrior poet, dig? Just trying to find myself and keep 100% authentic & real. I feel like I’m heading towards a dire ending like Edgar Allan Poe though. Cursed. It’s in our blood… I hope someone enjoys my little attempt at art in isolation. If you don’t like my body or my art, join the long line of boys who also don’t. I can’t be bothered with shallow waters any longer. Evolving into a better me slowly as my body is dying. Keeping my mind in a nurturing environment. SELF-LOVE.
The same vid as above but with different effects. But is it art? I never knew how hard wet hair can be to manage when it’s this long and wet and also heavy… (no filter). I really wish I could upgrade and get some decent camera equipment and lighting. Someone join my Patreon or make a donation please lol I need new editing software too!!! It’s my birthday this month!!! 😍That’s all for now. Can’t do much in quarantine. Trying not to catch the plague. Trying not to die by depression. Missing gig life to the full. No birthday gig this year!!! 😭😭😭
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Those lies lying between your teeth Lingering among our feet Like the desperation you seek Hopeless in the street At what hour does forgiveness greet Do our eyes meet?
Tell me the art of affection Written any direction A lethal injection I need your objection A bridge for connection A poor life in question
Answer truth do not befool Life is cruel So bend a rule Love this jewel Keep hands cool Reserve your fuel
Under trust a sleeping serpent Midnight hermit Mourning servant Lessons learn it Longing urgent Fever current
I want him to stretch out my smile until my cheek hurts Roll around on the ground laughing til it’s worse I want his poetry as my universe His kisses to be my in-house nurse
I want his words instead of roses, dig? Forgiveness for mistakes I hid Perhaps another chance to bid Love despite the things I did
You give life color You are the place sadness goes to rest Gently under midnight breath You unchain the collar
Your tongue rushes through layers of time only to stand still! Why do you stomp outside my gate demanding honor when your skin is made of scales? I wonder if there is any light left in you at all? Do you feel my love sneaking into you at night? Or when my tears have sweetened the sky?
Is it a pen- Or a tool for destruction?
Is it a hand- Or a rule for instruction?
Why do you always have to be so bad? Why do you exist only to make me sad? Why are you always claiming I am wrong? Why are you someplace I don’t belong?
Remorse is a little grave Radioactive your words decay They cause delay Like the games you play The lies you say The lives you slay
I don’t hide behind pretense or a mask I’ve got a mind to not do what you ask If you want it first you’ll get it last A narcissist hating me, makes me feel first-class!
Just go! Why do you always make a scene? Your reason cruelly crafted, doesn’t mean a thing.
Life happens in gallops The downs, the ups A calloused heart develops Blackened and jealous
There’ll never be an us You’re too careless You’ve got life but you’re aimless Now the end you can cherish
You’re spinning on your axis Your every lie is backless I’m splitting from this madness And returning all your sadness
People out there climbing, hardly trying, rarely ever hear them crying…
Don’t let the bottle sink you to the floor Got you nailing shut every door Every hour you are at war The enemy is your roar We can’t take it anymore
Eventually longing runs out like a clock that stops ticking…
She’s a pyramid scheme Lined in fake gold and your dying dream The way her eyes will gleam Faking is in her bloodstream
They are tied together at the seam He injects her like she’s morphine She ranks him number one supreme But all they ever do is scream
You cling to death a hardend criminal Morally bankrupt
She has darkness leaking from her eyes Scales and veins that demoralize The blood runs blue behind cold skies Quickly fallen the soldier dies
His smile is fusion So his kingdom I’m choosing
You left me dismantled Said there was nothing you couldn’t handle I guess you had a different angle You were gone by the flick of your candle
My time was fully channeled But now our friendship has been cancelled Everyday a different battle Took all I had to not get mangled
Stow my fucks upon the mantle I’ll write you off another devil There were signs that I’m a rebel I guess I’m on a different level
Choice is yours to revel You’re a man that’s acting feral Trust is like a petal And I need to be more careful
Time is a death sentence.
Do you take the stars with you when you disappear? Do you hide the light within your black soul?
I am a wounded warrior who fought for this country I need more than fancy cars or money Or the consistent catcalling of “come here honey”
Give me wonder from your fingertips, from your every word that slips Galactic walls of poetry, moves for my dancing feet, that’s all I’ll ever need
Who or what are you chasing? Everyday I see the man you could be slowly erasing
You move in-and-out of my life like water; you shape my rivers.
She looks cheap and worn down like an old lumber mill- But piss on her and he’ll crumble at will!
My love, lend me your ear Spending time with you would change the atmosphere
Do my pleas appear like flares in darkened skies Are my hopes and dreams all the things that you despise
Growing evermore increasingly isolated And humanity, well I don’t like it And man and his lies absolutely hated And to think for love I sat around and waited
But love is about abundant as God And man only rule with his evil rod But leave it to them to curse why I’m flawed And when it comes to law every one is a fraud
An angel and a demon fall in love
He doesn’t want to hurt her, he can’t change who he is Walk away he won’t let her and try yes she did
There were warnings in the echoes Writings on the windows
-LOVE FORBID-
One day these words will be gone – life won’t exist Time is slow but not forever, now is in the mist
Let’s rewind the details.
They line up like dogs, fisting her, inching her Why do you love her, I need an answer
Vampirism for the deeply lonely existence I live Darkness for the light I give Forgiveness for your life of sin Reason for my faith within
HAPPY FRIDAY Y’ALL. I DID MY MAKEUPS. CUZ BORED! I’m posting to say hi!
I’m not a model, never aspired to be. A vampire on the other hand, I’ve been obsessed with them since I was 5 (zombies too) and it never sat well with my mom who is super Christian. If you dig stuff like vampires, then maybe you will enjoy these bits of images and videos (minus the quarantine weight I’ve put on). Isolation + custom fitted fangs + a shit ton of eye makeup + snaps + edits = vampire erotica?
I hope you like them. Happy Halloween. Wait, err, everyday is Halloween!?!
I’m single and ready to mingle but there is like a pandemic going on and I’m not trying to catch the plague… literally watching The Universe on Netflix but I need to catch up on Dark. I’m somewhere in season 2. What y’all watching these days?
Just me (no fangs)!Just me (no fangs)! Just me (no fangs)!Just me (no fangs)!
I once held him like starlight in my eye But the light slowly turned to drab And hope was a rope not an inch to grab I watched a living life magnify and die
His breath was once a sail for my dreams But the air turned stale with mold and dust And hand was an enemy not an ounce of trust Life passed me by it seems
His poetry was once a creed and map But his words turned to curse and hell And love was a poison for not feeling well Between my heart and his there lies a gap
So I’m alive and still writing poetry. This is Annie Lenox. Rescue kitty. She’s been the queen of the domain several years now. Got her when she was a wee 15 weeks old, recently turned 7 years young. Gorgeous girl and sweet too! Happy birthday, Annie!! My goal is to get her a new tower from Kitty Mansions. She could use a new tower/ number 2. Won’t be til the Jeep is paid off. It’s coming! Highly recommend them!! Cat approved. Got her this one in 2015 (I think) and it’s withstood moves & 24/7 use! Isn’t she cute? She’s clever! 😍I’m still alive and writing and growing my hair out. 6 months dye free. Ack! Putting on some quarantine weight.
No one makes me smile the way he makes me smile – not by a mile The way he wears me with his eyes, if only you had his style Months go by without a word like we’re living in exile And then word the king is coming and we’re lining up single-file
I got a “like” by Bush on this Instagram post of this poem I wrote and digiart of Gavin Rossdale I made!! (see post below) *squee* (it is definitely squee worthy for one of my favorite artist to like a poem I wrote about him, I will take the love in any form or fashion he gives me!!!)
So, *tries to breathe* some of you may know I’m obsessed with Gavin Rossdale and Bush, I literally wait for hours in all weather just to get front row for his band… I drive for hours, I wait in long lines for hours (I’m usually front of line, so get to venues extremely early, after driving for hours to get to said venue- although a couple gigs have been nearby!) Anyhoo, I am full-on, fangirl. And when he’s around me, I literally do stupid shit. I forget basic greetings. I drop shit. Sometimes I curse him. Last year I decided to skip hugging him when he reached out to hug me, and hugged Chris the guitar player instead. In my mind, I guess ‘save the best for last’ but in reality, STEWPIDS. He stills loves me despite me erratic behavior, he actually touched my pants and said, “I love your pants” (they were Kat Von D leggins). Everything is a bit fuzzy afterwards. But every time I meet him I get like, fuzzy. There are many stories, but I won’t get through them all.
6 days ago Bush performed a free live gig, for the launch of Fantracks, a cool interactive stage where you can see bands perform! Seeing as gigs have come to a complete halt in reality, a live stream is the next-best-thing! Of course I tuned in for the Bush performance. But, a couple days prior to the event, a Tweet came in very late in the day, to send in video questions via email, so I quickly put together a 19 second video, but almost gave up emailing it, because the file was too big to send email even at 19 seconds. So naturally, I had to reduce the file size, without reducing the quality, and in the end, tossing it in my Instagram story creator tool, and saving it without actually sharing it, worked better than anything else I could do! Eventually got it emailed, but nearly gave up until I tried the Insta thing! I didn’t think my question would get selected, Bush just dropped a new album, I figured they’d answer those sorts of questions by fans!
Apparently some 125,000 people tuned in for the launch of Fantracks with Bush performing!! I was watching it livestream free, but it’s now available on Video-on-Demand (VOD) for like $1.99 I think. So if you want to see the preshow, the gig, and the aftershow stuff, it’s worth getting!! You’ll get to see the entire show, plus see my fan question!! Anyway, I shared just the Q&A with Gav and me on my Instagram IGTV, and Youtube (see video below)! It’s been an exciting few days!! Are you a Bush fan? Are you into gigging as much as me? Are there any bands you worship? Music is what I am living for. And poetry. =)
Watch my fan question to Gavin Rossdale below!! A YouTube version is also below! This is only my section with Gavin, he answered two other fan questions as well! Mine was question two he answered! So cool that my question was selected and answered!! I love Bush!!! *screams*
And my obsession with my king continues… =) I’m still riding this high!!!Screenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by Bush Screenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushGavin Rossdale and Matt Pinfield – Screenshots taken by me during the aftershow Q&A
Self, Gavin Rossdale and Matt Pinfield with my fan question – Screenshots taken by me during the after-show Q&AGavin Rossdale and Matt Pinfield with my fan question – Screenshots taken by me during the after-show Q&A
P.S. I have more photos than what I’ve shared here. And honestly, I could make this entire blog post as long as a book! It feels good to have my tablet full of Bush photos again (even if only this livestream and Q&A)! This year has been a bust! BUT THIS MAKES ME HAPPIES. And I’m feeling some inspiration tickling in these cold veins again… =)
Please hit the like button if you enjoyed this post, or drop me a comment below! I love hearing from you (you do not need to be logged in or a WordPress member to leave comments)!!
What does the room feel like after I’ve left Are there tears of joy you’ve finally wept? Now’s the time to take your breath Things in order how you kept?
Does the air turn to dust and cold And hope is breath that turns to mold? Is the darkness you worship wonder to behold Do you ever notice you are growing old?
Do you take these poems and place them in the attic Do you convince yourself I’m only erratic? Do you tell them all I’m just a fanatic Or do you admit to yourself you’re a narcissistic addict?
Does the blood in your calloused heart move faster Is everything you destroy a beautiful disaster? Is love the only thing in life you can never master Have you ever given yourself an honest answer?
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I just freestyle wrote this and shared it on my Instagram but I wanted to share it here also… I really love to rhyme!
If you dig my writing, you can support my advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Life is only precious because it is fleeting It’s a shame you and I won’t be meeting Some people come into our lives only for leaving It’s a hard lesson but where I am leaning
You’re all in or all out There’s no middle ground to talk about I give you my best, you give me your worst One minute I’m free, the next I am cursed
Maybe I’m not the one or maybe I am For what it’s worth now I don’t give a damn For I am a lion and never a lamb And the hand you are selling is only a sham
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The sweetest poem I’ve ever written, part two. I swore the love bug off but fate is persistent (or obsession). But don’t worry, I have some anti-love poems coming too…
If you enjoyed this post or enjoy this blog and would like to make a donation to support my creativity, you can donate to my PayPal here: https://www.paypal.me/deliaross
Or, if you dig my writing, and would like to support my on-going creativity, subscribe to my Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
All these centuries it was you I craved Hiking mountains of longing while your name I praised All these fallen ruins are bits of you I’ve saved Every foot in darkness steps for you I braved
Pulling part the ocean that’s the depths I paved Fusion in my core for the light that’s phased Trust in only love cuz that’s my heart you grazed Want to spend eternity with our souls engraved
Probably the sweetest love poem I’ve ever written. I literally enchanted myself. A first. But it is now after 2 AM and maybe I’m just tired… But my blog is nearing 50K views (that’s 50,000 visits folks) and I want to pee myself!! 😍
But I wrote a poem instead. And I hesitated to write a second stanza, but once I got going I’m glad I did… I’m sick to fuck of love to be honest. Someone said I was too young to be a cougar, that I was a cub instead. Well, whatever. Now that I’m ready to date and mingle there’s a bloody zombie apocalypse going on. I ain’t trying to die from the plague. Apophis (that huge effing asteroid) is returning to kiss Earth in April 2029, which sounds like a more exciting world ending, and I hope to get laid by then too… 😏
🤗
If you enjoyed this post or enjoy this blog and would like to make a donation to support my creativity, you can donate to my PayPal here: https://www.paypal.me/deliaross
Or, if you dig my writing, you can support this blog and my ongoing creativity by subscribing to my Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Hi guys. If you’re reading this, I’m happy you’re well enough to do so. I know these times are tough. The Saturday Symphony, is a brand new weekly feature by yours truly. But before we get into what it’s about, here’s some poetry for the soul, Apathy Up, on a lonely cloud Watching what goes […]