I get lost in that eternal longing Like a lonely ghost haunting Your words, your grounds, you’re all that I am wanting The daily daunting The nightly taunting In circles, my feet towards you keep walking
Purgatory or desire Cannot distinguish if purge or fire The written wire The lines drawn from hell to higher A wanton vampire From wish to liar
His blank canvas, or missing page Off on my own in fits of rage The way we age Can’t face the stage The chance to talk or just engage Escape this cage
I’m trying to make amends I make more enemies than I do friends I’m sick of bends How he pretends How every road has more dead ends Though love he sends
You’re free to go Where the wind will blow Disassemble and row Nobody gotta tell yah so So go on and show What your feet can stow
Hello, good evening Tormentor May I call you Mister? Mister Tormentor? Word hipster Hard hitter Love quitter Still with her?
I go from tuning To finely pruning They say I’m ruin I got sin brewin’
His voice is a soothing surf Not a curse I need him and it’s getting worse For what it’s worth
Our lives aren’t permanent I was born and in effect, I’m not perfect Still mistakes you’ll erect On display my regret 1, 2, 3, now it’s set I’ll admit, I changed my bet But you are dead and now I’m next
He was gone But his eyes kept looking back And now love was a balancing act Her heart atrophied From the love it lacked
It is so obvious to me concepts But then I am gullible and miss steps
She cried so much He made a levee But it just keeps flooding Her tears are heavy
There is more bad than there is good It gets to me more than it should
Constantly pretending it doesn’t hurt at all Restart. Repurpose. Throw it up against a wall Reorganize disaster before they see the fall Rejection. Redirection. He will not take a call
Taste the sin, twice the infection Long-distance waiting, I cannot face inspection Hours non-debating and time shows no affection A trip to my own mind, a nightmare his direction
Everyday, I’m waking up triggered Just today, frustration got bigger
He must exist in some galaxy far from reach; Like my company he won’t seek
I’m stone but you cut through me like water; making me soft yet harder.
There’s a positive and a negative in everything I’ve learned; even the outcome…
I peer into my dream as if you’re there – A hundred million reasons why I care
His words a sword cutting through stone; I guess I’d rather be alone.
Read the lines in between, I do get what you mean and, I’m not searching for a thing…
Transforming into high seas Don’t wanna be on my knees Or marching in an army
My dreams of him live in endless meadows Where fears have been foreclosed Never near the brink of extinction Our love can never decompose
And now he’s building a nest Right where her heart beats best
Both try to speak though tongue was held They try to walk but they both failed
Sinners have acute senses sinning
One day she looked down at her hands and didn’t recognize them anymore.
Wounds she carries of others crosses. Her hearts too heavy from all these losses.
Wrap me in your worlds; only want your words.
You’re always passing by Why don’t you come inside And stay awhile by my side
Secrets aren’t for telling Even when we’re yelling Secrets aren’t for selling Even where you’re dwelling
I don’t know if he’s iron or sorcery / He’s got a hold on me
They come, they go I’m high, then low
The trouble with worry is that I worry there’s trouble.
He yells “retreat, I am the dark” But, he is the way for light to embark It takes both to fuel the heart And when it comes to love they hit the mark
“…You have to cut the cord”
“No, I can’t live without you…”
“Babe, you can’t stop existing just because I do” (love is keepsake, love is forever)
I gave you my best angles My mess and my tangles
She said, “you finally showed up. Took the damn end of the world, too…”
Break the chain, break the link, don’t wanna be in sync The way your eyes and my eyes leak The way we talk but never speak The days prowl on and we are weak But life is cruel and so are we And I guess we are both guilty But neither life is a life free And that is why we’re bleeding ink
Couldn’t sleep because I’m dreaming of you (so I wrote this instead)… The love of my life. His name is Sam. He’s got some teeth issues going on, and other medical stuff, but he enjoyed our day out. Look at that smile.
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I’m now on Twitch! I’m going live again soon! Thanks for following me there! Hit my channel at: www.twitch.tv/poeeternal
Hi guys. It’s my birthday today. And also the 12th edition of The Saturday Symphony. How auspicious is that? Here’s a little senryu to kick us off; With Age I Welcome Wisdom This week’s three featured posts The games of sorcerers by Olga – If you’re a Tolkien geek like me, you won’t find a […]
A very happy birthday to Jude! And thanks for featuring my work over on the Saturday Symphony! (Please visit the original blog post by clicking on the blog post shared). 👍
Me at 5 AM with unbrushed hair. Things get wild at night hair’s so long… (it’s all real too). ((I keep shaving the other side off)). (((I might put a razor to it again cuz I like fucking things up)))hellos. my studio needs design help. Has anyone given my new spoken word piece a listen and what did you think? Thanks for following my Twitch! Open mic night coming soon! 🙂 (but fears, big big fears) ((i iz shyyyy))I have 3 gigantic mirrors and don’t know what to do with them 🙂 “…sometimes I think I’d like to watch them burn” 🙂
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I’m now on Twitch! I’m going live again soon! Thanks for following me there! Hit my channel at: www.twitch.tv/poeeternal
Sometimes I experience words as if they are new That’s what your written word can do Pushing and pulling through and through Take my breath, turn me blue Subjunctive mood
Lay it out for me in lines Penalized Marginalized Revised By your red pen, I am chastised
Twisting and burning Your pens always yearning Speaking of truth as if you are learning Replacing your mask while your lies keep turning Every single day my anger is churning!!
Lines! Lines! The devil’s crossing, the way you’re talking! The constant lusting, a poor man’s cursing The way you haunt me The nightly stalking I can’t keep walking
I’m more than drunken babble Jagged edges traveled I’m more than all you saddle Or the porn that’s on your channel
Stop pretending you’re something you’re not The baggage you carry weighs alot Still licking your mask for all that it’s got Worried the truth simply might drop
I go from wanting to block him to wanting to fuck – I go from ‘I hate him’ to “he’s my buck”…
Jagged edges Overcrowded ledges Falling into hedges Deserted second pledges
Wishing things I haven’t Rotten choices maggot Fine tuning an old habit Lessons always absent
Why do they always have to lay on me their personal conditions? I want to muse not defuse the hourly emissions Confessions, obsession, next the rejection The highs, the lies, twice the objection Undermining and poor correction Next you know there’s more affection Every step has got you guessing But no one ever moves direction
From none to some From some to none From birth to young From aged to numb
From luck to curse To curse from luck From fast to stuck From good to suck
I’m still finding bones you buried Death the only thing you married
I wasn’t around love and nurturing growing up I was a petite girl beaten, I had it rough My mother, my sister, my father’s, they all were tough From blood to bruises, scruff was the stuff
The frog doesn’t know until it’s too late that the water is hot People either loathe me or they love me alot Maybe I’m formidable or maybe I’m not Maybe you’re alive with a heart full of rot
He left but his silhouette remains Life is quiet where shadow overstays Not even a whisper asks if I’m okay
All you ever give me is your poorly drawn lines. I’ve heard this excuse now a million damn times.
Stop pretending my love is a crime Stop telling others I’m not worth a dime It seems you’ve laid integrity on the line Darling, I’ll win every time
Lure her where light breaks Offer her heartaches Remind her of her mistakes
He made his bed though he wasn’t prepared The road she was going he couldn’t care It seems her worries wasn’t shared Or maybe underneath the hiding, a boy was scared
I left you like a ton of bricks crumbling
My rearview shows the void A boy devoid Self-worth destroyed There’s nothing to avoid
Tear me down Disassemble words ticking Fingers clicking People bitching Darkness my gown
Dreams still wishing Lies keep twisting Sorrows non-fixing Love went missing Watch me drown
I can go but the only thing it’ll prove is that I’m gone…
If only forgiveness were a page to turn All these hills are mistakes I’ve run And I cannot change the things I’ve done
Got my enemies watching with a telescope You say you hate me but you know I’m dope I see you clinging to my every hope You pray I’m drowning tho God is my boat
Spoken word coming soon to my Twitch TV! Watch this space!
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Written, recorded, and mixed in my home studio! New spoken word!! Free MP3 download or listen here (good speakers recommended)! Don’t forget to like or comment for positive support! 😄
Guys, this is me playing my own guitar and reciting poetry. I can do both! I’m terrible at both!! But I do promise to bring you some more real guitar playing with my spoken word in the future!!! I need a band so I can focus on performing the vocals for you- which is why I use GarageBand – because it’s terribly hard to play the guitar and to perform at the same time, at least for me! I hear you, you say ‘practice practice practice’ but then stage fright kicks in and let me just say it’s easier if I can just focus on performing! I also took Drama 1 and 2 in High School, have done minor acting roles, I dig improv so much, but I don’t know if I could ever do it like Jim Morrison did it. He had stage fright too. Which is why sometimes he would close his eyes or turn around. “Turn the fucking lights down” (because he didn’t want to see his audience).
I LOVE GUITAR. My depression and health issues keep me from playing (I won’t tell you how old I am, but somewhere like 420 years aged). My bones hurt everywhere. 🙂
If I can keep the support rolling in, I’m ready to move into making spoken word video. Everything I do is time consuming and you don’t see the creation process.
Anyway, I recorded this little piece for my muse last year, I probably haven’t improved much in the guitar area. I do not record from my squeaky chair though and this was live from my squeaky chair and recorded from my crappy cellphone. 🙂
I’ve been songwriting a lot lately though which means I need my hands on my guitar. 🙂
Photo from this morning – check out my new spoken word!
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Heaven’s Gate is where Earth meets the sky I’ll get there if I try Forever searching for a hello or goodbye Only finding time to cry
These mountains I stumble and crawl Every day for you I fall Gathering mistakes for monuments standing tall You’re my favorite of them all
I’ve never gone to open mic night or sang karaoke due to my terrible stage fright! I’ll be attempting an “open mic night” on my Twitch TV channel soon!! Elite rhyming poetess (I live and breathe poetry and have a taste for rhyme)I didn’t record this spoken word with my phone so please hit the like button if you enjoyed the poem or the spoken word!!! Equipment used: Epiphone amp, Digital Reference microphone, Mac computer, Garageband, my blood, sweat, time and tears!! Hit the like button for God sake (or drop me a comment, I love those)!! =) Heaven’s Gate MP3 Cover art
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If you appreciated this post, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
(I still have a few extra links I can add, like official links to buy my book on Amazon. Amazon UK, Barnes & Noble, ECT, my Mars One profile, from my official astronaut candidacy with them, and other fun link stuffs).
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Red fire sunTrapped in forest of longing Watch the sunrise come
Don’t forget to show this post some love if you enjoyed it, that way I know. Hit the like button or drop me a comment! 😄
Pale and withdrawn Thank you for all your support here, there, everywhere! That’s all for now. Thanks for visiting my blog!
The only thing missing was some fake blood and my custom fitted vampire fangs… 👍
P.S. I’ve been painting my lips red since I was 13. I never outline my lips. Tomboyish mostly and prefer a natural, blushy tone. I also don’t want botox or lip enhancers to kill my lines. I’ve died a million times. It’s written in these rhymes.
Lurking underworld with resting bitch face front-and-center… HOOAH
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Got my finger on the block I guess it’s better than my Glock I know you watch me like a hawk And then you turn around and mock
I know I’m always in your thought I’m not quite the sinner you sought I’m the girl you never caught And you say you love me naught
Gonna block him again. Why not. That way, I can ignore his existence too. Eye for an eye.
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Photo of the ocean taken & edited by @poeeternalOh, hello insomnia
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The frog doesn’t know until it’s too late that the water is hot People either loathe me or they love me alot Maybe I’m formidable or maybe I’m not Maybe you’re alive with a heart full of rot
God knows…I need a vaca from responsibilityIf my brain only had a pause button…
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I lay my head down on silence like a pillow Stiff The dreams are stagnant His lies are foul My hope sluggish I cling to love like a parasite And without sight
Envy is black moss Ivy-thick doubt Twines twisting around his silhouette I watch clouds form from longing Rolling thunderous covetous hands Prying into my desires like butter The wind is brewing strong regret
Quick strikes of lightning when world’s collide If only nightmares were soft satin slippers One could wear proudly his crown It’s lost underground with the thicket
I have two shadows And not one to trust
I yield to confusion I give him skeleton keys to my home A disorderly garden wrought with weed Tall are worries Watch him stall Even the moon grows anxious and full
If I turn quickly I might spot a ghost Rummaging through heartache With fingers dripping from ink and mud
Tormented by what is And chained to never was
Or maybe that’s just my reflection
If per chance you stood near My gravity would rip you to shreds Our halos are dancing instead
I’ll take part of you The very best piece of you You have the best of me too
There’s nothing that I have when I die that I keep There’s not a word that he’s written that has not made me weep Longing comes in floods, I guess we get what we reap Treading flooding waters drowning where his soul runs deep
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If you appreciated this post, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
Do you ever feel me clawing on your existence Why push for truce then give resistance You know for you I’d shut away the distance If you call my name I’ll come this instance
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Excited but equally terrified. But, I’m definitely adding ‘open mic night spoken word’ to my channel. I want to do a trial session or two before I add it to a permanent schedule on my Twitch. Cuz nerves. But, people DJ on Twitch, podcast, fitness, cook, it’s not just for gaming… 🖒
Yeps. Skeered.
Also, I’m terrible about falling asleep with eye makeup on but I must like the messy look (hides the bags I suppose, I gets no sleeps). 😂
But Twitch is definitely a social platform and I also have a Discord now! Definitely could use some cheerleaders in my corner right now. 🙌
Be sure you are keeping an eye on my Instagram feed and stories! I drop more than selfies there. 😃
I appreciate all your support out there! Thank you!! ❤
I’m going live again on Twitch, Sunday afternoon (tomorrow)! Playing a horror game I’m obsessed with and I also had a request to play as a killer so I’ll be hopping on as a killer at some point during the livestream to play as a killer too (thanks for the request)!
It’s really fun connecting with you all! I don’t have a date yet with when I’ll do the spoken word I just know it’s coming soon!! I’m not sure how often I even want to do it, but at least once or twice per month (along with the other live streaming I do). It would be cool to add a fitness day in there too!
If you are on Twitch let me know! I am completely new to the app but I’ve known of its existence. But I have a lot to learn!
Also, thanks for all the fantastic support on my Patreon campaign this year! I am truly grateful! I am working on your rewards for September! 😍
Uhm, so I’ll be dropping more poetry on my blog too of course! But, I’ve been itching to do some vampire cosplay and October is creeping around the corner. My fangs wanna dance.
I need to get back on eBay and sell my GOPRO camera bundle set, so I can buy an easier cam setup. At the time, I spent around $1k on everything and I’ve since used it twice. 😨 I also desperately need a laptop. So, I’m definitely getting back on eBay soon and I might have a collectible or two I can sell. On top of needing like electronics, I need food. 😎
I’m down to my last three car payments! I just might get the ground kissed once I get her paid off! I’ve been paying off my car note since 2014! But the change in career paths and disabilities have made it tough! Some of you have helped me out of that pickle, thank you! Holycrap, life is extremely difficult, there have been times I know I have made it even more difficult for others, but I was drowning. But I’ve made a lot of changes in my medications and luckily the episodes have been less! Literally the worst thing I’ve done is told someone I fucking hated them online. I forgive me. Shit happens and I wasn’t myself. I couldn’t even think straight on all that shit! One pill, two pill, three pill, more! Where the fuck is the topest building, let me leap. 💩💩💩
Ok, happy Saturday and bye! I have shit to do! TTYL! 😄
Hi y’all! I’ve been working on my Twitch channel! 😍
Thank you to everyone who has given it a follow!! ❤❤❤
My channel now has an identity and I’ve got my nose stuck in the Creator Camp trying to learn the ins-and-outs and it is so intricate, there is still so much to learn! I have a partial schedule up, but nothing is set in stone yet, I’ll also be doing some impromptu live streams!
Creators use Twitch for all sorts of things, to livestream their cooking shows, their music, their gaming, so I don’t see why I can’t do some open mic night spoken word in the future!! I’ve got an amp, I’ve got a mic, I’ve even got a guitar! Now I just gotta find my nerve! You can invite guest and everything, so I intend to fully use Twitch for all the things. But, baby steps.
I love to game and I will be doing more game walkthroughs. And I’ve already had a request to play ‘Dead By Daylight’ as the killer, so I’ll be fulfilling that request soon! Thank you for requesting! 🖒🖒
High-five to everyone who has tuned in, followed, commented, friended, or left me a Whisper! 🙌
You can find my Twitch Tv channel under my pen POEETERNAL or by following this link: www.twitch.tv/poeeternal
I’ll be going live again soon!
My channel is starting to have an identity! Thank you for tuning in or following! ❤
P.S. if you are still supporting my Patreon campaign, you are the coolest ever! Thank you!! 😍
Grateful for all your support xoxoThank you for the loves! So, I’ve been painting my lips red since I was thirteen. Some things never change… I’ll be live streaming with red lips again soon. 🙂
Hi. How are you? Keeping safe? I’ve been trying to enjoy my summer by going on bike rides with my dog but it’s been raining like crazy around here. He loves to go on rides and I love taking him. He turned nine years old last week.
I haven’t been blogging as much, there’s little inspiration coming in. Just feeling absolutely drained and needing a break from the blogging sphere. I’ve honestly needed a break from everything in life. I miss travel, food, gigs, friends. This quarantine sucks and isolation has actually been harder for my depression. On the upside, Twitching has been fun.
Now that I’ve got on Twitch, I’ve been live streaming more. The app is so intricate, there is so much I’m still trying to learn. I’ve been working towards the affiliate goals, please give me a follow on my channel and help me reach 50 followers (7/50 currently)! 🙏❤🙏 I’m super shy, but pushing through boundaries. I play other games and I’ll get around to showing those off soon. I’m going to live stream other stuff than just games but I’m still learning the ropes on the platform.
I just want to open up and start sharing more of my life with you. So give me a follow over there if any of this interest you. If you have an Amazon Prime account you can connect your Twitch account and then you can actually subscribe to me (but I have to reach 50 followers before I can have subscribers).
Thank you to everyone who’s been checking out my channel!! It’s honestly helping me not be so stir-crazy!! Sending you lots of love!!
If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. You are not alone.
Will you be there to watch your mom die Or will it be by the hand of suicide Years and years of these trials Hard to keep you by my side Took a chance once or twice And might succeed tonight – oh son!
Some call it paradise But it’s a parasite Understand what living’s like It’s like your under knife Want a hand to get it right Don’t leave the world a fright – oh son!
Accept that life is might Don’t have the heart to fight I wear this sadness tight Like a rope in flight Sorry’s nowhere in sight And I’m alone, alright! – oh son!
Y’all, I’m fine. It’s a song I’m writing, and I wish I could get the melody from my head to my guitar and my vocals. I also wish I could write a guitar solo from the tip of my tongue the way David Gilmour can. I can’t. I know maybe 4 chords. I can’t evenwhistle.
I’m sharing my struggles with you. Because there’s a 50% chance I might not make it out alive… dark times.
Depression is when every part of you wants to give up and roll over but you crawl on, in agony, anyway.
Some escape this despair, for other’s it’s terminal. There’s a 50/50 chance for survival. You’ll need rigorous response to recover and live with depression. Currently, I’m trying alternative treatments and therapy. Stuff doesn’t always work. Sometimes I become immune to treatments. Sometimes I disappear for days and no one knows where I am or hears from me. Sometimes they force treatment on me, throw me in rubber rooms, where it takes 6 people to hold me down just to shoot my ass up with Thorazine. Regardless if you go voluntary or not for in-house treatment, they will take all your clothes from you and your phone, you can’t have any of your books, but you’re allowed the Bible, you can’t talk to anybody, you can’t read magazines or listen to music, because there’s this underlying misconception that “stuff” can make you better.
And then no one wants to admit to having mental health issues because you get called “crazy” or other demeaning terms,and often the closest people around you, will use those terms against you when they are angry.
If you are struggling, I’m not going to say it gets better, because honestly, it gets worse. Depression isn’t about how much money you have or fame, it doesn’t care if you are broke or rich, and that’s why rich people die from depression too. But these things can be symptoms of depression. Depression can come about just because it wants to. It doesn’t take a death, or job loss, divorce, or any other event to be depressed. That’s why you shouldn’t ask people, “what do you have to be depressed about?”. Depression is a mental health illness, you’re ILL. You might need meds, therapy, short or long term treatments. It’s not your fault that you are ill. You are not alone. Hang on.
Edit to add: Sometimes depression is environmental so it doesn’t always require therapy or treatment. Sometimes it requires a change in your environment or situation. So don’t always assume a pill can make something better. And don’t push big pharma on others or make demeaning comments like, “you haven’t taken your medication have you”.
Hellos. I’m fine despite dark thoughts swirling like a nebula. Depression.
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If you appreciated this post, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
If you dig my blog, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
I went to visit the tree we planted The seed that fell as our hearts connected The hope that grew as love erected A time before I was neglected
I buried my heart where you rejected And even left faith if ever collected I have found peace and wrongs been corrected The tree keeps our poetry safe and protected
I still plant his poetry in the better parts of me… his entire existence became a nebula for my poetry and to be honest I haven’t stopped writing about him. I wonder if he still reads these.
In an alternative universe, there is a tree growing with our initials, threaded together by our poetry.
His existence changed me. It’s still changing me. I wish he grasped the power of that.
If you dig my blog, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
I hope you are well! I’m sorry I’ve been quiet in the blogging world, I’ve kind of needed a break from writing and WordPress (but not you). I wish I could put me in vaca mode, not just my email. Summer has me in outside mode (when it’s not feverishly raining) 24/7.
I want to put together a schedule for my Twitch live streams, and I’m curious to know which time frames work best for your schedule. I’ve started a poll on Twitter where you can vote anonymously, but you can also answer freely here. I am committed to streaming once a week, but I likely can stream two to three times weekly. I am on EDT, so take that into consideration.
Personally my favorite times to game are late at night or early mornings. Obviously, any time an event for a game is on-going, I will be more active. I also like to game around / after dinner time. Weekends and late evenings preferred.
I fully intend to go live outside of gaming too. For everything and anything. Maybe to show you around a park I am visiting or to read you a mindfulness book. Who knows! Florida isn’t fully open and operating yet but I’m pretty good at thinking outside of the box (I’m just terribly shy). I live in a very active touristy area. Daytona Beach is home to the famous Daytona 500 and Daytona Bike Week. We’re also famous for our white beaches and draw in all the spring breakers. We have a ton of parks around here, and for the most part, those have been reopened.
I need to start working off this quarantine weight. The gym and pool where I live are still closed. And it’s either been too hot or raining to get any bike rides in. I’m getting in a few. But I’m committed to losing this weight and getting back in shape, ugg, too many quarantine donuts and I’ve got 3 more today. *insert drool nom nom emoji*
It’s easy for you to tell me to give up the donuts when you’re getting laid. You’re getting laid and getting to eat donuts, so I don’t want to hear it. Sex burns more calories than running. And I don’t run anymore. Unless it’s to the ice cream truck in the rain. Stop judging.
Anyhoo, I’m slightly working out. I have to trick my depression into believing it’s doing something magical, because my energy done got up and jumped into a galactic black hole. Now add the fact that there is no joy in anything but eating and sleeping. And sleeping has to be drug induced, I gather eating does too. I’d literally have no energy to breathe if my body didn’t do it automatically. Breathing is fucking exhausting tho. Especially with anxiety and nightmares. I wish I could go float in the pool but no, closed. I pretend I’m floating in my tub after a half a bottle of wine.
Anyhoo, I’m kicking quarantine up a notch. So if you wanna watch me do stuff, stuff like eating and breathing, I’m getting online weekly. Yay. Stuffs to do!! And to be honest, having a schedule both excites and scares the shite out of me. I like to be spontaneous. But I also have cryptic stage fright. But a schedule makes sense in the TV world, and I understand its importance regarding return viewers. Obviously good content is important too but if I’m always going live when everyone is sleeping, I won’t have anyone to interact with.
I’d love to see my Twitch reach 50 subscribers, so drops and other in-game loot becomes available for viewers. Goals are good to have (and share).
Also, let me know what content interest you. What games are you into? Do you want to see me review games weekly? Are you into a certain genre? Would morning or night streams work for you? Weekly or weekend? Are you interested in seeing the city I live in? Are you interested in real life or gaming? I will be using YouTube live as well but that’s an entire new puppy to adopt. Feel free to email or message me privately if you prefer. Thanks for checking out my Twitch channel!
All this hair is like a furnace in FloridaOne Freckle for every reason why I love youAlways lost in translation…
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Hey y’all! Thank you to everyone who helped make my birthday special yesterday!! If you left love on my socials or watched me on Twitch, double thank you! I’ll be going live again soon! 😍
Yesterday, Joy for Jan, a depression awareness group, ran by two ladies who lost their mother by suicide, also published a special video message I recorded for them, on their Instagram TV/ IGTV. It’s a little over 10 minutes long and talks about the misconception that you can just “snap out of depression”. Most of us have been guilty of thinking this or asking this of others. “Hey come on, cheer up, what do you have to be sad about?”. Well that’s the thing, there’s plenty to be sad about but it doesn’t require an event to make you depressed. Everything can be going great in your life and you or someone you know can still get depression.
Check out the special video message I made for them and check out their website and socials. If you prefer, they published the video on their Facebook page too. You can view that here.
They are an excellent support group for mental health awareness.
Follow them, listen to others, spread the word. Let’s help change the misconceptions regarding depression and mental illness.
We all know someone who is suffering from depression, or we’ve lost someone to suicide, or we suffer from depression ourselves.
You’re not crazy, you’re ill.That’s why it’s called a mental illness.
And often it takes rigorous response to treat depression. Depression is and can be TERMINAL.
The suicide rate continues to rise worldwide, not just among military and Veterans, but civilians as well. Have some compassion for yourself and for others.
Practice the art of forgiveness.
Sending light and love to those suffering from mental illness and to those who have lost someone to mental illness.
If you dig my blog, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
I climbed into his void like a womb Still I tell myself he’ll return soon Months go by it’s just me and the moon I guess my words did not make him swoon
I wear his absence in a darkened shroud Repentance for mistakes not allowed I hover over him like a cloud I kick and scream loudly as a child
I trust all the the time he is a liar And I don’t believe he didn’t feel my fire There is no cure to kill this growing pyre Well he went away but he didn’t take desire
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Cut me up and piece me back together, I’m still into you…
I’ve tried to kill the need but it just grows stronger. I need you hard.
If you dig my blog, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
My birthday is in 3 days!! Still alive and kicking!!
If you dig my blog, please consider showing your support through a small monthly donation on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
You tied the noose then left me hanging You pledged for days then changed your aiming You point your finger loudly blaming You have no proof for what you’re claiming
Your youth is gone, you’re well past ageing Your actions don’t match words you’re painting And every step you’re proudly feigning I don’t believe a word you’re saying
To be honest, I think rhyming gets me off. I get euphoric after I’ve pieced together a decent story. Sure, writing is hard. Rhyming is harder. But you wouldn’t see it that way if you saw me in a dizzy spell writing, sometimes pieces come together so quickly. Or the fact that I live and breathe rhyme 24/7. I think I might have an addiction, albeit, is it a healthy one? I literally write anywhere, and while doing everything. Sometimes I force myself to stop writing and other times I think I’ll never be able to write anything ever again. But alas, I’m still rhyming *sigh* and have been since the age of 12. I fell in love with poetry in the 3rd grade though, when I read an Emily Dickinson poem (I talk a bit about that in my thank you video on my Patreon for my patrons who join, so the video is still there if you are my patron and overlooked watching it. It’s been there since the beginning of my campaign). Anyhoo, sometimes I think I don’t have a drop of rhyme left in me. And then it is flowing out. In heaps. Like lava. And often with tears. My rhyme contains my soul. I lived in a very abusive environment as a child and writing became my escape. Writing was my coping mechanism. And still is of today.
My attempt at “But is it art” below… (but is it art was a saying me and my best friend used to say all the time when we’d fuck shit up. Like once, we redid a chair by putting our handprints in paint all over it graffiti style and writing “but is it art!?!). She died by suicide and I’ve never been the same. But all my attempts at art end with, BUT IS IT ART!?!
I nearly didn’t share this for a number of reasons. But here’s the thing, I don’t want fake boobs. I like feeling things. Might account a tad bit for my poetry. But for real, I’ve had many guys complain that my boobs weren’t fake. Had a guy break up with me in my 20s over it. And I have been peer pressured by society and men to get plastic surgery that I don’t want. I also breast fed an entire year, I have natural curves. And I don’t want to replace my sex organ with plastic for many reasons. I could have made my nipples harder I suppose, so hence ‘soft nudity’. I wasn’t trying to be vulgar or even sexual. Just existing in a hot bath and trying to capture my soft curves. Attempting to be artsy. Instead, I worry now my boobs aren’t sitting in their best, upright position. They don’t meet societies standards of perfection. I’m tired of feeling things though so maybe I should start getting plastic surgery and fake nails and fake hair and fake lips and fake eyelashes and fake tans… throw a fake personality in there too. ((Also if you’re one of the guys who’s ever put my body down… fuck you))! For real tho… desensitized nation 101. I’m not a model. I’m not a porn barbie. I’m a warrior poet, dig? Just trying to find myself and keep 100% authentic & real. I feel like I’m heading towards a dire ending like Edgar Allan Poe though. Cursed. It’s in our blood… I hope someone enjoys my little attempt at art in isolation. If you don’t like my body or my art, join the long line of boys who also don’t. I can’t be bothered with shallow waters any longer. Evolving into a better me slowly as my body is dying. Keeping my mind in a nurturing environment. SELF-LOVE.
The same vid as above but with different effects. But is it art? I never knew how hard wet hair can be to manage when it’s this long and wet and also heavy… (no filter). I really wish I could upgrade and get some decent camera equipment and lighting. Someone join my Patreon or make a donation please lol I need new editing software too!!! It’s my birthday this month!!! 😍That’s all for now. Can’t do much in quarantine. Trying not to catch the plague. Trying not to die by depression. Missing gig life to the full. No birthday gig this year!!! 😭😭😭
If you dig my blog, please consider showing your support through a small monthly donation on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
Those lies lying between your teeth Lingering among our feet Like the desperation you seek Hopeless in the street At what hour does forgiveness greet Do our eyes meet?
Tell me the art of affection Written any direction A lethal injection I need your objection A bridge for connection A poor life in question
Answer truth do not befool Life is cruel So bend a rule Love this jewel Keep hands cool Reserve your fuel
Under trust a sleeping serpent Midnight hermit Mourning servant Lessons learn it Longing urgent Fever current
I want him to stretch out my smile until my cheek hurts Roll around on the ground laughing til it’s worse I want his poetry as my universe His kisses to be my in-house nurse
I want his words instead of roses, dig? Forgiveness for mistakes I hid Perhaps another chance to bid Love despite the things I did
You give life color You are the place sadness goes to rest Gently under midnight breath You unchain the collar
Your tongue rushes through layers of time only to stand still! Why do you stomp outside my gate demanding honor when your skin is made of scales? I wonder if there is any light left in you at all? Do you feel my love sneaking into you at night? Or when my tears have sweetened the sky?
Is it a pen- Or a tool for destruction?
Is it a hand- Or a rule for instruction?
Why do you always have to be so bad? Why do you exist only to make me sad? Why are you always claiming I am wrong? Why are you someplace I don’t belong?
Remorse is a little grave Radioactive your words decay They cause delay Like the games you play The lies you say The lives you slay
I don’t hide behind pretense or a mask I’ve got a mind to not do what you ask If you want it first you’ll get it last A narcissist hating me, makes me feel first-class!
Just go! Why do you always make a scene? Your reason cruelly crafted, doesn’t mean a thing.
Life happens in gallops The downs, the ups A calloused heart develops Blackened and jealous
There’ll never be an us You’re too careless You’ve got life but you’re aimless Now the end you can cherish
You’re spinning on your axis Your every lie is backless I’m splitting from this madness And returning all your sadness
People out there climbing, hardly trying, rarely ever hear them crying…
Don’t let the bottle sink you to the floor Got you nailing shut every door Every hour you are at war The enemy is your roar We can’t take it anymore
Eventually longing runs out like a clock that stops ticking…
She’s a pyramid scheme Lined in fake gold and your dying dream The way her eyes will gleam Faking is in her bloodstream
They are tied together at the seam He injects her like she’s morphine She ranks him number one supreme But all they ever do is scream
You cling to death a hardend criminal Morally bankrupt
She has darkness leaking from her eyes Scales and veins that demoralize The blood runs blue behind cold skies Quickly fallen the soldier dies
His smile is fusion So his kingdom I’m choosing
You left me dismantled Said there was nothing you couldn’t handle I guess you had a different angle You were gone by the flick of your candle
My time was fully channeled But now our friendship has been cancelled Everyday a different battle Took all I had to not get mangled
Stow my fucks upon the mantle I’ll write you off another devil There were signs that I’m a rebel I guess I’m on a different level
Choice is yours to revel You’re a man that’s acting feral Trust is like a petal And I need to be more careful
Time is a death sentence.
Do you take the stars with you when you disappear? Do you hide the light within your black soul?
I am a wounded warrior who fought for this country I need more than fancy cars or money Or the consistent catcalling of “come here honey”
Give me wonder from your fingertips, from your every word that slips Galactic walls of poetry, moves for my dancing feet, that’s all I’ll ever need
Who or what are you chasing? Everyday I see the man you could be slowly erasing
You move in-and-out of my life like water; you shape my rivers.
She looks cheap and worn down like an old lumber mill- But piss on her and he’ll crumble at will!
My love, lend me your ear Spending time with you would change the atmosphere
Do my pleas appear like flares in darkened skies Are my hopes and dreams all the things that you despise
Growing evermore increasingly isolated And humanity, well I don’t like it And man and his lies absolutely hated And to think for love I sat around and waited
But love is about abundant as God And man only rule with his evil rod But leave it to them to curse why I’m flawed And when it comes to law every one is a fraud
An angel and a demon fall in love
He doesn’t want to hurt her, he can’t change who he is Walk away he won’t let her and try yes she did
There were warnings in the echoes Writings on the windows
-LOVE FORBID-
One day these words will be gone – life won’t exist Time is slow but not forever, now is in the mist
Let’s rewind the details.
They line up like dogs, fisting her, inching her Why do you love her, I need an answer
Vampirism for the deeply lonely existence I live Darkness for the light I give Forgiveness for your life of sin Reason for my faith within
HAPPY FRIDAY Y’ALL. I DID MY MAKEUPS. CUZ BORED! I’m posting to say hi!
I’m not a model, never aspired to be. A vampire on the other hand, I’ve been obsessed with them since I was 5 (zombies too) and it never sat well with my mom who is super Christian. If you dig stuff like vampires, then maybe you will enjoy these bits of images and videos (minus the quarantine weight I’ve put on). Isolation + custom fitted fangs + a shit ton of eye makeup + snaps + edits = vampire erotica?
I hope you like them. Happy Halloween. Wait, err, everyday is Halloween!?!
I’m single and ready to mingle but there is like a pandemic going on and I’m not trying to catch the plague… literally watching The Universe on Netflix but I need to catch up on Dark. I’m somewhere in season 2. What y’all watching these days?
Just me (no fangs)!Just me (no fangs)! Just me (no fangs)!Just me (no fangs)!
I once held him like starlight in my eye But the light slowly turned to drab And hope was a rope not an inch to grab I watched a living life magnify and die
His breath was once a sail for my dreams But the air turned stale with mold and dust And hand was an enemy not an ounce of trust Life passed me by it seems
His poetry was once a creed and map But his words turned to curse and hell And love was a poison for not feeling well Between my heart and his there lies a gap
So I’m alive and still writing poetry. This is Annie Lenox. Rescue kitty. She’s been the queen of the domain several years now. Got her when she was a wee 15 weeks old, recently turned 7 years young. Gorgeous girl and sweet too! Happy birthday, Annie!! My goal is to get her a new tower from Kitty Mansions. She could use a new tower/ number 2. Won’t be til the Jeep is paid off. It’s coming! Highly recommend them!! Cat approved. Got her this one in 2015 (I think) and it’s withstood moves & 24/7 use! Isn’t she cute? She’s clever! 😍I’m still alive and writing and growing my hair out. 6 months dye free. Ack! Putting on some quarantine weight.
So, Twitter banned me from doing several actions for three days but yesterday I was allowed back and I started a peeing poll right away. Yes, you heard correctly. I needed to lighten the load from politics and pandemics to peeing. Sometimes I’m not online because I’m not allowed to be. LOL LOL I’m not little miss perfect after all… 😂
I am a writer so of course I tried to make the poll interesting! And the votes coming in are amusing! So what say you, is peeing in the shower cool or not? Inquiring minds want to know…
No one makes me smile the way he makes me smile – not by a mile The way he wears me with his eyes, if only you had his style Months go by without a word like we’re living in exile And then word the king is coming and we’re lining up single-file
I got a “like” by Bush on this Instagram post of this poem I wrote and digiart of Gavin Rossdale I made!! (see post below) *squee* (it is definitely squee worthy for one of my favorite artist to like a poem I wrote about him, I will take the love in any form or fashion he gives me!!!)
So, *tries to breathe* some of you may know I’m obsessed with Gavin Rossdale and Bush, I literally wait for hours in all weather just to get front row for his band… I drive for hours, I wait in long lines for hours (I’m usually front of line, so get to venues extremely early, after driving for hours to get to said venue- although a couple gigs have been nearby!) Anyhoo, I am full-on, fangirl. And when he’s around me, I literally do stupid shit. I forget basic greetings. I drop shit. Sometimes I curse him. Last year I decided to skip hugging him when he reached out to hug me, and hugged Chris the guitar player instead. In my mind, I guess ‘save the best for last’ but in reality, STEWPIDS. He stills loves me despite me erratic behavior, he actually touched my pants and said, “I love your pants” (they were Kat Von D leggins). Everything is a bit fuzzy afterwards. But every time I meet him I get like, fuzzy. There are many stories, but I won’t get through them all.
6 days ago Bush performed a free live gig, for the launch of Fantracks, a cool interactive stage where you can see bands perform! Seeing as gigs have come to a complete halt in reality, a live stream is the next-best-thing! Of course I tuned in for the Bush performance. But, a couple days prior to the event, a Tweet came in very late in the day, to send in video questions via email, so I quickly put together a 19 second video, but almost gave up emailing it, because the file was too big to send email even at 19 seconds. So naturally, I had to reduce the file size, without reducing the quality, and in the end, tossing it in my Instagram story creator tool, and saving it without actually sharing it, worked better than anything else I could do! Eventually got it emailed, but nearly gave up until I tried the Insta thing! I didn’t think my question would get selected, Bush just dropped a new album, I figured they’d answer those sorts of questions by fans!
Apparently some 125,000 people tuned in for the launch of Fantracks with Bush performing!! I was watching it livestream free, but it’s now available on Video-on-Demand (VOD) for like $1.99 I think. So if you want to see the preshow, the gig, and the aftershow stuff, it’s worth getting!! You’ll get to see the entire show, plus see my fan question!! Anyway, I shared just the Q&A with Gav and me on my Instagram IGTV, and Youtube (see video below)! It’s been an exciting few days!! Are you a Bush fan? Are you into gigging as much as me? Are there any bands you worship? Music is what I am living for. And poetry. =)
Watch my fan question to Gavin Rossdale below!! A YouTube version is also below! This is only my section with Gavin, he answered two other fan questions as well! Mine was question two he answered! So cool that my question was selected and answered!! I love Bush!!! *screams*
And my obsession with my king continues… =) I’m still riding this high!!!Screenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by Bush Screenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushGavin Rossdale and Matt Pinfield – Screenshots taken by me during the aftershow Q&A
Self, Gavin Rossdale and Matt Pinfield with my fan question – Screenshots taken by me during the after-show Q&AGavin Rossdale and Matt Pinfield with my fan question – Screenshots taken by me during the after-show Q&A
P.S. I have more photos than what I’ve shared here. And honestly, I could make this entire blog post as long as a book! It feels good to have my tablet full of Bush photos again (even if only this livestream and Q&A)! This year has been a bust! BUT THIS MAKES ME HAPPIES. And I’m feeling some inspiration tickling in these cold veins again… =)
Please hit the like button if you enjoyed this post, or drop me a comment below! I love hearing from you (you do not need to be logged in or a WordPress member to leave comments)!!
What does the room feel like after I’ve left Are there tears of joy you’ve finally wept? Now’s the time to take your breath Things in order how you kept?
Does the air turn to dust and cold And hope is breath that turns to mold? Is the darkness you worship wonder to behold Do you ever notice you are growing old?
Do you take these poems and place them in the attic Do you convince yourself I’m only erratic? Do you tell them all I’m just a fanatic Or do you admit to yourself you’re a narcissistic addict?
Does the blood in your calloused heart move faster Is everything you destroy a beautiful disaster? Is love the only thing in life you can never master Have you ever given yourself an honest answer?
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I just freestyle wrote this and shared it on my Instagram but I wanted to share it here also… I really love to rhyme!
If you dig my writing, you can support my advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Life is only precious because it is fleeting It’s a shame you and I won’t be meeting Some people come into our lives only for leaving It’s a hard lesson but where I am leaning
You’re all in or all out There’s no middle ground to talk about I give you my best, you give me your worst One minute I’m free, the next I am cursed
Maybe I’m not the one or maybe I am For what it’s worth now I don’t give a damn For I am a lion and never a lamb And the hand you are selling is only a sham
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OMG y’all, this pandemic/quarantine/shutdown has left me gasping to find inspiration. I haven’t got to go to one gig this year to see a band I love or anything and that’s what I’m pretty much alive for. I haven’t got to get in my Jeep and just travel for hundreds of miles to another state to go see a band I love or a friend. Zero road trips. I’m alive for the arts. Music. Poetry. Drink. Freedom of choice. And I fought for these things too.
But borders are closing. Hospitals overflowing. Information disclosing. Opinions opposing. People exposing.
There’s been little to live for but alot to be said. And for the record, I am PRO MASK. I worked as an EMT medic for many years, in the hospitals, in the fields, and in combat zones. There’s not anything you’re going to say that’s going to defer my opinion from what the CDC is putting out. Or from what my training and experience has taught me. And I’m the kind of person that would gladly get back in the Army just to have the right to enforce that on you. I was an excellent soldier, and once a soldier, always a soldier. HOOAH. And there are medics that are actually returning to the government military just to help with this pandemic. Wear a mask. 😷
I have found some inspiration during this epidemic and that’s the amount of traffic and feedback I’ve been getting on my poetry and on my blog/ website. And for some reason it just inspires me to keep writing and sharing. Despite the terrible lows and hailing cries. Despite the unfollows and lost patrons. I am moving on. I go from barefoot to combat boots. I am both feminine and masculine. Soft and hard. Together and messy. Life is complicated. But I created my blog as a safe place to write. And I’ve even done monstrous things here but life goes on and I do not dwell. I’m evolving. Sometimes I turn into the monsters I am slaying. Hive mind. Even from the depths of hell, I can’t control all of me, all the time *gasp*. But I blame big Pharma and depression just as much as I do myself.
Sometimes I stop and commend myself for making it this far. For all the storms I’ve actually gone through, not just the internal ones, but the real ones. Sandstorms. Hurricanes. Unfit parents. Sexual, verbal, and physical abuse survivor. War. (I’d even throw childbirth in there and a rib tattoo, broken bones, sickness). STORMS. 🤓
I’ve got enough medals and awards from the military that I could fill an entire wall but nothing makes me happier than to see my blog hit FIFTY THOUSAND VIEWS. 50,000 visits to my little home on the web!!! 😍
I read through the WordPress FAQ some time ago to see if my own IP/visits are counted / included and THEY ARE NOT (though the do keep track of authors separately because you can have multiple authors on a single blog (which is why you can see yourself in the stats but if you go read the FAQ you will see that it clearly does not count towards your view/visit counts to your own blog!!
My blog has also been getting more follows too, the current tally is 834 blog followers and if I ever hit 1K I will squeal! I am a terrible blogger in that my depression and anxiety keeps me isolated, so I’m not social, but I put everything I have into the words I bring you. I’m genuine, I’m just emotionally unavailable. Maybe my soul is leaking from my pen and now you all have bits of me. I’m giving you all I have.
Your feedback and comments and support is a treasure surely and though I oft little share it in return, I am grateful for you. I’ll even protect you and take a bullet for you but hold your hand, no. Sometimes people ask me what my sexuality is or my nationality and I say vampirism. I walk the streets of hell alone, it is my duty. I cannot be sidetracked by lust and sins, be gone demons. I’ve had enough. Mine is tempered and sleeping this decade off because- Apophis 2029. I’m only interested in spiritual healing, positive energy, and mental growth. I’m dying. The end is painful but the environment must be peaceful, dig? I don’t want you in my foxhole. But near. Tell me of beauty and poetry. I’m entitled to die how I want. If they made assisted suicide legal, I’d be on that bandwagon in a heartbeat.
Depression is and can be TERMINAL. The methods for treating depression are barbaric. From foxholes to thorazine hazed padded rooms. Fuck you. My diary 2020. Bringing it to you live right now. This year so far, on top of this pandemic, I was nearly hospitalized without my permission, taken in the back of a cop car, to a hospital so my mental health could be evaluated before they decided if they were going to withhold me, for a minimum of one week (7 days), without my permission, without any way to escape, without my service dog, my phone, or even the clothes on my back. In fact, while I was waiting in a locked room, they removed all of my clothing and items and gave me a hospital gown. 4 hours later the doctor saw me and agreed I was fit enough to return home. Which was great because I had already pre-warned the cop that if I was separated from my dog I was about to turn into a criminal with a record… but also, recently as the shutdown was happening here in Florida, I got pulled over by three cops in 3 cop cars with their lights going for not doing a full stop at the sign. A tiny fraction of a rolling stop- 3 cops. And I nearly died of a heart-attack. And white privilege was definitely not rolling around in my head, more like fear, but it did help that I was a damsel in distress and (kind of cute but my dog is cuter), but I didn’t yell at the cops either, or give them any more reasons to come at me hostilly cuz they weren’t fucking around… anyhoo that was probably my 8th life out of 9 cat lives lived/used… my luck and time is running out. But also, lesson learned STAY HOME.
2020 has mostly been lows but the blog love has been a lifeboat, a lighthouse, and even a life jacket and I can breathe a little. There’s nothing worse than my freedom being threatened. But I’ve been responsible for it being threatened every time, my worst enemy is me.
Fuck defundung the police. How about giving back the rights to vote to voters who are back in society. Think about all the people in America who cannot vote because of the War on Drugs, marijuana is becoming legal in a lot of States, but there are still people behind bars for marijuana offenses. WRONG. FREE THE PEOPLE. FREE THE PLANT. STOP THE WAR ON DRUGS. WE NEED REFORM IN JAILS AND PRISONS. We need to give people back their right to vote!!! “But voting doesn’t make a difference” fuck you- IT DOES. Utilize your right to vote! Florida had on the ballot to give back prior criminals the right to vote and it passed and I was there voting on that issue, I voted yes, give them their rights back to vote, so luckily people who have gone to jail or prison over the War on Drugs at least in Florida now have the right to vote again, fucking use your voice, it works! And yes I know all about the NWO / New World Order Illuminati, I know they exist, but on a state-level voting helps.
Anyway, I’m not allowed to talk about politics or religion or even what kind of medications I’m allowed to put in my own body because I will literally lose followers and supporters… Someone out there right now is probably unfollowing me because I am pro mask and pro medicinal marijuana. Or pro-voter. I’ve lost followers for not being Christian enough. For vampire cosplay. For not being sexually available for their needs. For not giving them my precious energy or time. For showing my boobs. For not showing my boobs. I mean, all I have to do is wake the fuck up and I’ll lose a follower. Here, there, everywhere. It’s frustrating. It’s meant to hurt. It always does. And sometimes I even run off followers with a duststorm following behind. It’s regretful yes. I’ve even sent hatemail. UGGG. THE CROSS I CARRY. CURSED. Sometimes I know what caused the manic outbreaks. I’m just trying to get to a point in my life where I don’t react. Zen. I also get my Jeep paid off in October which will be my last car payment and that will bring me some financial freedom and I’ll be out of the financial apocalypse that I found myself in. Then I’m saving for a trip to the UK. VACA. TRAVEL. The thing I live for. MUSIC. BUSH. BANDS.
Thanks for reading my blog! For following! For liking and commenting! For re-blogging or sharing my work! For dealing with my anti-social behavior and mood swings. For forgiving me of my mistakes and still loving me when I make them because you see that I’ve put in effort to get better or change. For trying to listen and learn about depression. For allowing me to be completely transparent with you. For letting me decide things and then change my mind. For letting me experiment with who I am and what is art. For letting me share my sexuality without there being some form of sexual harassment that always follows. For letting me just be me and not having to give you anything in return (tid for tat). For liking me despite my flaws. For encouraging me to keep writing!! For reading my rhyme!!! There just aren’t many people who are into rhyming poetry or even that many rhyming poets left!! So I’m grateful for you! And I need so much space currently to write. I need the space to be a certain energy or vibe. I don’t have time or energy to piss away, I have so much left to say and so little mood or energy to do it!! Thanks for listening! THANKS FOR 50,000 VISITS TO MY BLOG. HOLY SHIT. I love you. 😍
Screenshot of my pinned tweet by the amazing actor, Val Kilmer who said he LOVED my handle (my Twitter name which is my pseudonym/pen name on the web and under which I write /publish poetry).
As a writer, it was cool to get a compliment about my pen from one of my favorite actors since I was 10 years old, and first saw him in the film Willow. Loved him in Batman, The Doors, and so many more movies!! I wish I could get my hands on some of Kilmer’s poetry. And I’m devastated I sold my first edition poetry book by Jim Morrison on Ebay but financial apocalypse… (it was either going to be an heirloom for my child or it was going to be loot in my tomb).
I’m sorry the audio is out of synch with the video. I tried recording 20 times, 2 different devices, restarting device & internet, still not in sync. Accepted life is messy and not perfect. Edited and posted anyway for effort and because 50K!!Amazed50K!!! Edgar Allan Poe sends his regards 😆I was up all night nearly patiently waiting for my blog to roll over to 50,000 views. This was 10 views away from 50K. And I missed 50,000, when it turned it was already at 50,003!! 🤓If you’re bothered by a little bra showing, it’s Florida m’kay, nearly 100 degrees here… no filter. Thanks for 50K!!! I luv u!!! My 50K smile 😆I don’t have just a few freckles, in reality, I have more freckles on my body than existing galaxies… For realz (just change ‘outing’ to ‘anything I said yes to’ instead)
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