poetry – Page 4 – PoeEternal

Posted on July 30, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Maybe

Maybe I should move to Boston
Maybe I should move to Maine
Maybe there’s another option
Maybe I’d be less insane

I ordered a new phone finally and it’s on its way soon. Maybe I will hate it as much as I hate my racist neighbors. Maybe I got Spartan blood…

Posted on July 27, 2023July 27, 2023 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Did you build me a house on sand?
Did you kill all the ferns?
Left clouds for me to stand?
My poetry did you burn?
Did you post a sign where I am banned?
Are we waiting to take turns?
Are you flying a spaceship that is unmanned?
Do you think your hand’s too stern?

Guess how young I’m turning in August!?!

Posted on July 26, 2023July 27, 2023 by poeeternal · 13 Comments

Do You?

I miss the stars
Rotating
Around your love
And do you ever think of me
Far above?
When silence is howling
And there’s not enough?
Do you call my bluff?
Have thoughts to discuss?
Or am I just a memory
For your hate to engulf
Do you regret giving up?

Guess whose birthday is next month?

I miss you…

Posted on July 17, 2023 by poeeternal

Judged (poems)

Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6
And your enemy won’t let you forget
You remember this?
You remember that?
The enemies on my throne
He’s wearing my damn hat!

You can’t unbreak the broken
Take back words spoken
The spell in your eyes
The holes that you hide

They were bred to kill and steal
I’m behind the wheel
Driving full speed
And it ain’t you’re automobile

Bred to kill and steal
Like they made the Devil’s deal
I will send you back to hell
That’s the real ordeal

When one door closes
Nail a board over it
Plant some roses
Don’t submit

The fury inside me
Hot as the sun
The fury inside me
Someone’s gonna burn

You can’t escape from prison
Until you realize you’re in one
Like the Devil’s maze
Calling shotgun

Remove yourself
Put your tail between your legs
And get some help
Support withheld
Look in mirror and do foretell
We’re parallel
The way your lies do spin
You’re a carousel

I’m gone
Fucking replace me
Won’t let you face me
I’m racing
Dust in cloud
I’m hasty
Like laced lace
Revenge is tasty

Too cold to care
Fuck me with I dare
You build despair
And I linger there

Sometimes I think I’m talking to a ghost
And he’s dropping breadcrumbs
Like he’s the one that I love most
But I’m still hungry…

Regret will eat you alive
Nightmares become visions you wear

We are going forward in reverse
Like the truth makes it hard for the knowing
Or where we’re actually going
Like living in a hearse
The spell is his verse
And try to break this curse
It’s poison that we’re sowing

My parents ruined my life
They only sought to bring me strife
Smile at me then stab me in my back
Complain it’s God I lack

Say I’m full of darkness
Laugh at me regardless
I wish my parents were dead
I’d piss on their grave instead

Already being trolled by a Boomer cuz my student loans were forgiven that he thinks I should pay so he can enjoy his retirement at GEN X expense

College was a scam met with government furloughs and hiring freezes

Government programs favor giving our best jobs to the immigrants cuz they work harder and are smarter (according to their accord)

I’m aware only X amount of people will qualify for student loan forgiveness

And I should keep secrets to myself

But a reporter know-it-all on TikTok said you’d get an email from the Department of Education if you qualified.

I haven’t received any emails at all

I’m not even certain if I paid anything on my loans or just kept them in good standing

Cuz I’ll get it paid back if I did and will need to pay taxes on it again, like I won the damn lottery – and it would probably put me in a different tax bracket

I’ll worry about that toilet clogging when it clogs

I’ve only just received two letters informing me that my debts were cancelled and that my obligation to pay them is over. Tell the Boomers to deal with it.

My loan providers are no longer allowed to contact me, according to the letters.

The weight is off my shoulders but the worry lines remain…

I’ve been in fight or flight mode so long now I don’t know how to shut it off and just be.

My birthday is next month, on the 19th

I’ve already spoiled myself

I have goals of paying off my 2 credit cards and buying some land not land locked and far far away from a city of despair and demons

I want it to take 15 minutes to walk to my mailbox times two squared

I need an umbrella, not for the rain but for the sun

People will look at me like I’m crazy

Byeee

My student loans were forgiven despite the Boomers wishes…

Posted on July 4, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Color (poems)

He’s the color of rufous
An absolute doofus
He’s the color of sky
With black in his eye

Wish we were exclusive
Instead of reclusive
Like dreaming is lucid
He’s the color of life

21 inch porthole
Thick socks for the cold
The vessel did implode
I guess it didn’t hold

They got crushed
Their vessel was rushed
Now they’re all just dust

Victories not just
The dangers were discussed
Labeled with mistrust

He never told me how much he loved me
Hot sun above me
Make me swoon
Left me for doom

There’s something in the water
I won’t barter
The coverup is worse than the crime
We’ve all lost our mind

Only the beginning
Can’t tell whose winning
The cold is chilling
Earth is spinning
Sun is not forgiving

The rich are the cheapest people
Definitely not my equal

SOS only
And I’m so lonely
My home ain’t homely

My shadow leaves me when it’s dark
When I’m shattered into pieces
And I feel I have no heart

My breath it nearly ceases
A landscape growing stark

I’m running out of patience
I’m afraid I’ll miss my mark
There’s very few releases

Immured in bitterness
It makes no difference
I’m dull, won’t take a risk
Skipping deaths kiss

The sun comes and goes
The ebb and the flows
Midnight lows
The oh’s and the throes
He could heal my soul
Or let it decompose
In the meadows
With the crows

Got the hexes on my exes
Nothing here perplexes
They’re reckless
My math is only guesses

I want to be her
The girl he swoons for
The one he adores
I want her blood on the floor
I want to see her die
Wouldn’t find a tear in my eye
But I’m an amateur

It’s hot and humid
I hate his hubris
Thinks we’re all clueless
Will betray like Judas

I don’t know what’s going on, says the captain
Knowledge lacking
Inside the cabin

Right is forward and left is back
Experts they lack
Inside a tiny shack

The question makes his blood run cold
He’s the Devil you know

If they’re not already dead they will be
That’s what the sources tell me
And I have a feeling that is sinking
With that submarine

I learned a new color name when I ordered a romper and so now it’s in a poem cuz

This rhyme scheme is all over the place just like the chaos in my life

That’s all

More cute rompers incoming

I’m apparently obsessed with buying clothes I will never wear

(Cuz I am a hermit)

Also, why am I so heartbroken over the unsinkable Titan sinking?

It kinda feels like our love?

Exciting but doomed to fail?

Do we get a fancy title?

I’m still completely sober and definitely still fighting off CUD

This is not the cute rompers I mentioned although this too is a romper but more like loungewear – the others are fancy pancy

I ordered this in small and it shipped so hopefully it fits and I got a good bargain for it

It was the last one in stock

OBSESSED and I’ll probably wear it to church or grocery shopping

IT’S NOT LIKE I’M DATING ANYONE

Dying and many people like to be best dressed during their final days

None of my uniforms fit anymore and I sold them at the surplus store for a humiliating price

Ever since TikTok gave me a free coupon, I stopped getting coupons – even though I had many coupons pending, they all disappeared

I hate TikTok and will no longer be shopping over there

Globalism and immigration has destroyed the Land of the Free

There’s nothing to celebrate today

Byeeeee

Posted on June 24, 2023 by poeeternal

Trouble

I got in trouble
For being nice
I guess the good girl
Gets sacrificed

Double penalized on TikTok for leaving a positive review.

Gotta walk on eggshells to avoid a ban.

TikTok rewarded me with a $15 coupon for the ass beating tho.

Then during the live chat to figure out WHY I’m in the doghouse, I was nearly booted for inactivity after being asked to wait 2-3 minutes to sort it…

Damned if I do, damned if I don’t

But the 15 dollar coupon helped…

I was pretty heated after taking time to review and upload photos to help support my review as it’s allowed – only to get penalized for giving a 5* rating…

It’s hell down here…

I bought a romper from the TikTok shopping

And some other things. Better photos when/if I stop breaking out in hives. 🙂

Posted on June 24, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Halo

I can see your halo
Far beyond the payload
Where you might implode
Your sanity erode

I can see your halo
Written in lost code
Changing course the road
Where you rest below

Photo doesn’t belong to me but neither does my hard-earned money.

And I’m finding my most viral videos uploaded on YouTube without my permission, without any payment, without any request of use, without any way to message or contact those using my work, without having downloads turned on for anyone to use at will.

I film a particular way – when I’m shooting the sea, or whatever I’m filming.

It’s all a fucking shitshow and I need 100k followers or something to turn ‘tips’ on.

Recently someone wanted to send me $200 – but they also have invited me to ‘live free’ at one of their condos they own.

Nothing about my life sounds safe or too good to be true.

Furthermore, I had to delete my PayPal, Cash App, and Venmo accounts due to spam and whatnot cuz not even my money is safe.

Banks are shutting down. Billionaires are being offed or are maniacally suicidal risk takers, at the expense of our tax dollars.

I’m not even certain if the IRS is legal.

And the Lie House is funneling our money to criminals in the Ukraine and God knows where else.

I finally put a work order in to service the AC for mold.

Cuz maintenance is always “I don’t smell any mold” but I’m fucking still breaking out in hives, either from a nervous fucking breakdown or actual moldy conditions not noticeable “it’s in the walls” reviews will say…

And I haven’t smoked any weed since May – so I’m past the two week window but it takes a minimum of 4 months to recover from CUD (Cannabis User Disorder) and I still have brain fog.

I’m doing a lot of cleaning tho – and I actually do my laundry and put it away immediately, a slight miracle to not be sleeping next to clean clothes.

I still have no furniture and sleep on the floor and I made another clothing purchase – albeit I slept on the decision first – like I nearly always do.

And even tho the flash code of 25% had already ended, it was still valid further sealing the deal.

I’m obsessed with Dolls Kill boutique and hunt down the cotton stuff, though have bought a few cute sets that were poly blends.

I also got house thangs and shoes which I’ll likely never wear and will stay in the box…

I’m pushing myself to go skating despite the hives and nervous breakdowns.

I bought bath rugs and kitchen oven mits from DK – cuz obsessed

And sales + discount codes on top of sales

You should see the jogger set’s I’ve scored and maybe one day you will

I think I’m looking less hideous than my recent TikTok posts but at least I’m not lying on the bottom of the seafloor in pieces.

So there’s that.

It feels nice getting things in the mail other than spam and bills.

I can’t opt out of the spam and the US post office is selling our data, just like I learned Papa John’s was doing – so I deleted my account (like 2 or 3 years ago) and basically stopped supporting big business.

I should be allowed to order pizza without my data being sold.

I hate (even worse) how society is ran now.

All the pencil dick dictator leaders brownnosing Big China – who wants to nuke us and have us live in fear 24/7

I had another nightmare last night, this time trying to escape zombies.

I’ve not been watching any horror movies or zombie things.

My nightmares always consist of me trying to escape something and finding myself in a closure I cannot escape.

Whether it be a room with no windows or doors, or something else. It’s always the climax I wake up on.

Have to reassure myself, “pew, it was only a dream”

I was consistently going down – hills – roads – grass – indoor walkways at incredible speeds all while trying to avoid the numerous zombies coming after me.

My dreams are always fucking nightmares…

It doesn’t help that the Devil is always after me when I’m awake

I hope I leave the house for something other than food or doctors visits of medical malpractice

Maybe to do something within the community like church or skating

But then I risk the chance of catching Covid or some other disease being spread with malicious intent and purpose

People are always coughing

I literally roll up my car window when I hear a bystander or another rider coughing

My immune system was compromised

I just wanna be home

But this don’t feel like home

It feels like a deathtrap

Just like the unsinkable Titan

TITANic

I take a shit ton of vitamins like immunity support supplements that I have to order from a different country cuz everything is poisoned here

I’m trying to fix my eating habits

And I’m still obsessed with his stories

Which are probably responsible for my nightmares

(I blame war FYI)

My laundry is almost done and I’m craving a shopping dopamine boost

“We have everything we need bb”

“I know but I really want it”

“Okay but this is the last time”

“I’m almost done getting the things I need and at least I’m spending less”

“We get paid soon again”

*sigh*

“Okay but just one more thing…”

I got rid of everything in my life cuz I hated it and told myself we could replace it with things we want/need

I’m in replacement mode but refuse to buy a bed or furniture until I move

The neighbors make me wanna do bad things

The city drives me insane

The entire earth could be Eden but naw, invasive species left and right

“This country was founded on immigration” and they vote with malicious intent and purpose

I may like your stories but I know you voted for Biden and I want to punch you

I’m still homicidal and suicidal but I’m no longer signing waivers

For anything…

Posted on June 22, 2023 by poeeternal

Worse Case Scenario

Worse case scenario
Not the way to go
But it happened so
12,000 feet below

Vessel or coffin?
You be the judge then

The hope is very thin
And little stretched within
Hope is not high
It’s barely surfacing

They’re starting to find debris from the unsinkable Titan…

I don’t think a teenager is capable of mitigating the risk involved.

This comment is terrible but why did I laugh? Like damn….

People absolutely hate billionaires. The comments unfolding…

It’s safe to say, they’re no longer suffering.

I haven’t slept in days so probably some spelling mishaps.

I’ve slept a little that were filled with tossing and nightmares.

Grateful to still be fighting for my life. Having shoppers guilt and I don’t understand why.

Mostly think “what’s the point, will I even live long enough to enjoy it”

Followed by “my sister died at 45, buy the stuff”

Followed by “we could be dead tomorrow so what’s the point”

Followed by “I really want it”

Followed by “I know”

Why am I having buyers guilt? Not remorse? Cuz I do not regret anything in my closet.

I mostly regret being sick and dying…

I told myself I’ll stop shopping eventually

LIKE WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO

I’m not even doing it for views…

It’s the first time I’ve ever owned clothing I actually like

I’m no longer spending hundreds of dollars monthly on medicinal that made me worse

And I know I need to move but it ain’t happening overnight

Long ago I could pack up and drive around, look at a few places, and get a key

It’s no longer that easy or affordable

I’ll likely be just as miserable and my AC is probably full of mold

Putting a work order in…

Rent increase in August but it’s still 3 or 4 times cheaper than a 1 bedroom elsewhere

Damned if I do, damned if I don’t

And I did get new carpet here

I’m just gonna keep fixing it up

Until I have land + a tent

But there’s cracks in the ceiling

CRACKS IN THE CEILING

I fear sinkholes

Also Florida is in hurricane season nearly again

I’ve lived through THREE hurricanes here

2 of them I lost power over a week…

In the summer heat…

I’m sure that’s excellent for moldy conditions

And Wolfy hasn’t shown her face since I screamed bloody murder twice

She probably wanted me to feed her like I do the other house spider

I have terrible arachnophobia

I’m pretty much scared of everything

I think she’s gonna have babies and need to relocate the sack

But she’s guarding it

This isn’t going as planned and I keep feeding her

I’m turning into a witch and Halloween commences August 31st this year – hopefully still alive to wear my cute Halloween themed outfits (throughout XMAS)

Clothing gives me a reason to live

Do other people feel guilty spending money on things they want and need?

I did say I wanted to start over and got rid of 95% of my belongings which I hated and brought me zero joy

It sucks because I have zero family or friends to confide in

I have to be my own best friend and say “baby girl buy it”

And then I thank myself and God and God and God when I do…

Cuz I’m grateful but ain’t allowed to let my neighbors know…

Any time I drive I bless my car and thank her

Do other people talk to spiders and machines?

Posted on June 21, 2023 by poeeternal

Sources

If they’re not already dead they will be
That’s what the sources tell me
And I have a feeling sinking
With that submarine…

I need to move from this shithole before I die

Posted on June 21, 2023 by poeeternal

Deep

They are deep in trouble
With moments to spare
Or maybe blown to rubble
Is there any hope down there?

Posted on June 21, 2023June 21, 2023 by poeeternal

Astronomical (poem)

It’s astronomical odds
To be saved
I hear no applauds
At the depths they braved

Free speech, prayer, and rage…

Their oxygen levels run out 7 am Thursday morning – 96 hours was all they had

Maybe shouldn’t have brought the teenager

Wonder if they’ve panicked and used up O2 or remained calm, if still alive…

So much effort to find and save the crew

It’d be an absolute miracle and maybe one we need

I feel so bad for them, I do

But my go-to is to get angry when someone dies or is dying

The audacity

To die on my watch

I don’t deal with death well at all

Sometimes I go silent

Sometimes I laugh

Mostly I get angry

And then cry…

I can’t imagine being stuck in that tin can

He swore no matter what happened it was safe

Lying and gaslighting should be illegal

I fucking hate this world

Demons everywhere

No wonder I’m so miserable

And was before I was born

I had awareness

Understood language

I didn’t want to be born

All my life tragically suicidal

They’ve made assisted suicide legal in Canada

Folks getting approved for anything

Nihilistic environment

Nihilistic government

Separation from God

Science is nihilism

My heart is so heavy for them, in that tuna can

One person said, “they have no water” followed by “it’s dripping with condensation”

*rolls eyes

They all took a sandwich and bottle of water

And if the tuna can is dripping with condensation – uhm – drinky?

At least they have a toilet with a view they can’t see through

I’m not getting any sleep tonight

Bless

The ocean terrifies me

I got my kitchen tidied up and plan to shop for God grown foods soon – hopefully not poisoned

Need some comforting homemade soup

Glad to have feet on ground

And able to keep moving

Not ready to die

I am breathing deeper now, like can get air to my belly

Must focus on the gains

The fact that I can take deep breath’s again

Terrified to do anything cuz people are unhinged and insane

My neighbors make me want to commit some crimes

Without remorse

The will it takes to not snap

All these monster men killing their children and family but keeping the mom alive – for revenge

Need hung immediately

Narcissism is a plague

But these monsters need to be rid of the earth

Let’s start with Chyna

And the de-lites

Bless their hearts, the ones lost at sea

The regret they must feel

The anger

The delusional CEO is probably convinced they will be found

Probably will gaslight them until the end

It will be nothing short of a miracle if they are found alive

I don’t know what lessons God has for us here

We have freewill

I don’t know why John kept crawling in that fucking hole

“I thought I was somewhere else on the map”

“I thought it would open up”

Panic – he was thinking and he was given an incorrect map

That section should have been blocked off after two boys got trapped inside

I’m just so fucking mad!!!!

At the nurses, at the doctors, at the Chinese!!!!!!!!!!

Don’t want any of them in my feed!!!!

Give them angry looks when I’m out and about!!!!

IDGAF

The first Bible can be traced back to Asia

You think I’m gonna smile at the Devil!!!

I have fury!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stop micromanaging me!

Stop hacking me!!!!!

Fuck off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you ever seen lightning on the ocean?

P.S. I think earth was a frozen planet, we maybe hit another planet and was pushed closer to the Sun’s orbit, things melted – but why is this never discussed in science?

And does science take into account that objects are closer than they appear – with those mirrors they use to peer?

I’m telling you, the math is fucking wrong

The darkness can act as a mirror

And the famous speech from the moon happened on earth

Aliens aren’t real

Area 51 is where they rehearsed the moon landings

Aliens aren’t real

It’s American propaganda

Most “alien sightings” happen in America

The dumbest nation

Thanks to China

Ch ch chyna can burn in hell

For all eternity

Our enemy is Asia

And most disease comes from Africa

And white people are less prone to disease

White slavery is real

The Great race war is real

I wanna fuck them up

You don’t know the dreams I have

The nightmares….

God scares me but the Devil don’t

WEAK CHARACTERS – wake up!!!

Get right with God

The great judgment is coming…

Hell is already here

Posted on June 21, 2023 by poeeternal

Sunk (poetry)

I am absolutely invested emotionally in this lost submarine

So poetry…

All the money in the world won’t save them
And there’s banging from the deep, there’s mayhem
All the prayers for them now, feel like a sunken gem
Who do we fault, who do we condemn?

“It has one button, that’s it”
Says the narcissist

5 are dead or dying
While some are crying
Other’s are denying
Trouble underlying

Remote
Like our love
A breach in hull
Shipwrecked is soul

Crushed is hope
But do you know the scope
An uncertified submarine
Nightmare or dream?

Dark waters turn crimson
But no one will listen
When you hear the cries
The thunder in the skies
The dead have gone missing
They were on a mission
Straight to extinction
Race against affliction

It’s a dead giveaway
You’re going to die today

Sorrows sorrows prayers
The state of affairs
Endless nightmares
Electric chairs
Tell me someone cares

You need to leave but you’re not free to go
The cop combo

Never get on the bad side of a good girl
You will see her form
Like hail in storm
She ain’t lukewarm

I need to focus on the gains
And not the mishaps
Sometimes I think I’ve gone insane
But no one gives a crap

He’s like driving on a floating road
And I ain’t going slow

He’s like riding in a truck without breaks
That’s the speed it takes

Walking in the underground
I’m a ghost and he is the crowd

“Loose lips
Sink ships”

It’s unfortunate
The people who need help
Can’t be helped

It’s always the same color crayon
The same con
The Devil’s spawn
Hanging on my lawn
So they get a yawn
Wish they’d move on
Back to Babylon
Where they’re coming from
Fucking hate them all

I wish I had no father
Why even bother
Poison like still water
I wish I had more honor

Why does the sun
Travel in a straight line
Like your lines
From pen to mind

He hits on his own reflection
He’s gaslighting every direction
He says he loves with affection
He’s in love with his own perfection

Some need more than one chance
To change the circumstance
Don’t want the last dance

Michael Leavitt deserves to crawl into a hole he can’t get out of
As below, so above

I’m just barely existing
Time is ticking
Grave persisting
Death resisting

I don’t want realistic
Fuck sadistic
I’m humanistic
Ain’t optimistic

I must be dead inside
Soul paralyzed
Know not to cry

She’s not me
Still do I slide into her clothes
Like midnight over moon
I am all
And I am none

I start the trends
I rarely follow
I live in pretense
Hard pills to swallow

Til death do us part
We ain’t got the heart
Black and full of rot
We’re both distraught
No grave for plot

I don’t get the physics
Or why he never visits
Says it ain’t my business
Why he acts suspicious

Why are you under my teeth?
Beneath my seams?
Between my dreams?
Light like moonbeams?

Time moves slower in the cold
His heart is indigo
Take me where blue blood will flow
His undertow
The place I grow

He steals the sun and turns it into limelight
His pen will give me frostbite

Collecting comments
Crashing comets
Trashy content
Make me vomit

Demons look like humans
Cheaters look like keepers
Users look like friends
Children look like men
Do not attempt
To understand

I want you well
But not better than me

Some thoughts….

I haven’t been able to sleep and my entire FYP is the lost submarine

I actually hope and pray they are found. It would be nothing short of a miracle. However, they sent two subs down (unmanned presumably) that got crushed at 6000 ish meters

I had a comment get over 1600 likes – and got annoyed with all the notifications – so deleted it

I commented a teenager shouldn’t be on board, many said he was 19

I replied NINETEEN – TEEN

And still – they denied

Had to block – got annoyed

I wish we could mute comment notifications but naw

So delete – it just wouldn’t stop getting likes or comments

I’m an introvert I suppose

Sidenote

Apparently the CEO was in a lot of trouble and he was a good gaslighter and salesman to convince those people to die with him – I don’t think a teenager (yes nineteen is still a teen) should be allowed on an experimental submarine dive 12,500 feet below the sea. It doesn’t matter what fancy title you give them.

That CEO stated over and over that sub was entirely safe, “if this goes… “safe”, if that goes… “safe” but sign this waiver

Look, I signed a waiver getting that motherfucking vaccine and I will never trust another doctor or nurse again – I was asking all the right questions but I was gaslit, gullible, and lied to

And even tho the first vaccine fucked me up, I crawled further in the hole, just like our dear John Jones…

It nearly killed me and I’m at risk for Adult Sudden Death syndrome

I cannot stress this enough, adrenaline spikes to the heart is a no-go

I workout but not to the extreme

I fucking ran through the Dollar 25 tree with 2 gallons of spring water and it was a no no and that was recently

I was in my car going, “it’s okay we’re safe now, I won’t do that again”

So I can run and jog but not with added weights

It’s ridiculous but if you knew how far I’ve crawled – to get better, you might be a tiny bit proud

I’m feeling stronger but can’t do adrenaline spikes at all…

And I’m only 108 pounds

I also have to be careful with extreme temperatures, the hot and cold

I’m like Goldie Locks, need everything just right…

I’m not out of the dark yet and may never be…

The light is so much more powerful than the dark

Also, they stated you wouldn’t be able to hear banging that deep down – something about sound not traveling through the cold

I find that interesting

Isn’t space cold?

I hope God can hear my screams…

I do feel bad about them being stuck at the bottom of the sea

Maybe they didn’t explode

Maybe they made up the banging to keep the search ongoing and the $$$$ flowing

A fast death seemed a little less cruel than suffocating in the dark and cold in a sealed up tuna can

Where you can’t even stand…

Or hyperventilate

With only a sandwich and bottle of water

The one window was plexiglass

A freaking fish tank

You couldn’t pay me a million to get bolted in that tin

I need to get back to my FYP and I feel less guilty about buying clothes now – that’s a much better decision than sinking to the bottom of the sea to explore a graveyard

But I was fucking stupid for getting that 2nd vaccine

I’m learning to forgive myself for a lot of things

I have been dying a slow and painful death

And there are people on my black list

Lucky buying clothes is all I’m planning to do…

LUCKY

Cuz the daydreams are filled with revenge tenfold

I promise when I’m feeling better than dead I will post some of my cute clothing

Mostly dressing comfy for now…

And appreciative I have a floor to sleep on

My sister died of Covid age 45

I don’t want to die…

But everything is actively trying to kill me

The water, the food, the air, it’s all been poisoned

I HATE CHINA

Posted on June 16, 2023June 16, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

TikTok is going to ban me (poetry)

Content restored
After it was deleted
And just for record
I’m fucking heated

Free speech like sword
I feel defeated
Where’s my reward
Always mistreated

They ain’t getting another dime from me

Also, I blocked said user & every one they were following

I’m hardcore

*goes shopping anywhere but TikTok for a dopi boost*

K, thanx, bye

T3 Sara mode & Florida no longer requires a carry permit *weapons nearby*

Posted on June 16, 2023 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Muse (poetry)

He’s still writing for his muse
Under the full moon
I’m still walking in her shoes
With the cold blues

Oh hi

Freckles brought to you by the sun (no filter or sunscreen)

Byeeee

Posted on June 13, 2023 by poeeternal

Web (easy rhyme)

Web of secrets
Facetious
In sequence
No thesis
He’s my weakness
Lost allegiance
Sin’s leakage
I’m sleepless
A grievance
Stupid genius
Love Jesus

Posted on June 12, 2023June 12, 2023 by poeeternal

Distractions (easy rhyme)

There’s too many distractions
Can’t even read a book
Unless it is your writings
Then I may get a second look

🙂

Why does light travel in a straight line? Why does something round move straight? I haz questions.

Free speech below be warned

The way John Jones died keeps me awake at night.

Maybe get some land in Utah. Do a low crawl. Whip out the hacksaw. Call me an outlaw.

I’m still breaking out in hives. I did a 30 day raw ginger detox and hit it TOO hard. I’m not a sweater but first shot broke out in sweats. Kept going tho.

Nearly fell asleep last night until the consequences of John’s action really settled in.

Must be the worst way to go.

He didn’t even wanna be there. Just thought he could show off a little. He was wanting to eat some Turkey. Or maybe dressing.

I’m not gonna be able to rest until somebody pulls him out of that hole.

Recovery mission.

Use a robot, I don’t care!

Get him out of there!

Cuz I don’t learn my lessons well either.

2nd week felt nauseous after every shot and by the third, hives.

Guess I’m preparing myself for the end

I really really don’t want a traumatic ending

My whole life has been a tragedy

So Cracker Barrel has a cancer warning on their website that eating their food will expose you to bad stuff

And when you click on more info, it won’t tell you exactly which foods

This is what happens when other countries rule us and the Great Race war theory is reality

Check the fucking CENSUS

Reports say certain Chinese Americans (how they prefer) identify as “the new white”. They even get common names like John or Michael.

Certain Mexicans also identify as “the new white”

And BLM is up 230%

I don’t know where I’m going, but I can’t stay here

Land is cheap near Yellow Stone

Pros: cheap

Cons: near volcano

People have been boiled alive at the acidic hot springs

They are my favorite natural wonder and the one’s I fear the most

Always wanted to visit but have this feeling it would pop

Many scientists and people have died from volcanic eruptions randomly

I would have been driven mad living with demons inside a cave

Who constantly gaslight

I don’t know if I believe in reincarnation but sometimes I feel like I’m still learning a lesson from 6000 years ago

China needs to take a chill pill

Most of us are fairly fed up

Eating raw salad today

Maybe just need to stick to a raw diet forevermore

Fucking sick of dying a slow tormentious!?! death

You ever be drifting off to sleep until something bad makes your eyelids pop wide?

For me, last night, it was JJ.

I need an old typewriter

I probably could just use pen and paper again

Ink sucks these days

I hate AI

I’m always writing from my phone

One little tap at a time

Constantly correcting the algorithm

It likes to not space

It likes to change words on me

I’m basically sick of the narcissism which is a plague

But any article you read will state, “narcissism is rare”

Believe none of what you read and less of what you see

He was suppose to take the one that had claw marks all above

But he probably was dared or gaslit to go in the wrong one

It was 9pm at night

He should have been in bed

His wife re-married 3 years later

I ain’t been married once

Some people have it too easy

China has the most ridiculous dictator’s who are nihilistic and their own policies have made it hard for them to recover as a whole due to the “one child law” and I hope they fall but they are stealing white man’s identity with malicious intent and purpose and American names…

I’m allowed to be angy….

I’m sick of being micromanaged

And poisoned

Got some more rhyme incoming but freestyled this as soon as I opened my eyes

Couldn’t even brush my teeth first – already rhyming

Brain still foggy

When I was 16, I would break out in hives every night because of the stressors

For several months, I had to take Benadryl at bedtime

I was even put in a rehab against my will for a month solid, wasn’t able to communicate with boys, had to do stupid meetings

Escaped the insane asylum so many times they had to re-write the rules every time

Sometimes locked myself in my room and refused to come out, using my body and feet against the walls to stop them from breaking in

Demanded air time (fresh air) cuz I was on suicide watch most of the time, not allowed to go outside, not allowed to shave my legs

Broke out in hives every fucking night there

Left the leader tho…

Eventually I was released

My parents were the only ones to not show for the final week to do therapy

It was clear who the fucking problem was and why I was breaking out in hives

I wasn’t supposed to be there

The same John wasn’t supposed to be in that hole

“There are things that happened down there that will never be disclosed”

Yeah like what though?

I can still remember the name of the boy I sat next to in 2nd grade

We made up a game

We’d draw little maps of roads and the other would hold the pencil while the other held the paper to “drive”

We did this quietly and after assignments were done

And every time the teacher re-arranged where students sat, we were allowed to still sit next to one another

Cuz we both got angry and probably refused to do assignments lol

I went skating a lot back then

And even at 16, had rollerblades and would go street blading for hours

I bought me a brand new pair of skates at Christmas, but still haven’t been 😦

So I really hope I change that soon

I know I have a valid excuse “dying” but damn

One day we won’t be able to do the things we want, even if we wanted

I don’t want that day to sneak up on me

It’s like I’m still stuck in a hole I can’t crawl out

And no one’s coming to save me

We have to save ourselves

But God does listen

And prayers do come true

Sometimes

Within reason

Or it’s just l-u-c-k (labor under controlled knowledge)

But I still believe in God

And I don’t know how I survived my teenage years

The quarries, the 50 foot bridge jumps, the standing in front of trains

Suicidal yep

Even in the womb….

Didn’t even want to be born

And don’t want to die….

Posted on June 10, 2023June 10, 2023 by poeeternal

Tarmac (poem)

“We want your feedback”
Too bad my feelings you lack
Like roses are black
Take the tarmac

My opinion comes with a price. If you ain’t paying, I ain’t slaying.

Stop leaving reviews for companies to control you

Whatever you like, they will fuck it up

Over society

Posted on June 10, 2023 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

How? (poetry)

How do you do it?
Take my mess?
And turn it into puzzle?
Six foot hole with shovel?
Buried deep is trouble?
Humming like you’re humble?
Dear it’s never subtle?

Collecting comments
Crashing comets
Trashy content
Make me vomit

Cross with commas / burned diplomas / stank aromas / pajamas /

We are two plus one
Minus what we’ve done

He steals the sun and turns it into limelight
His pen will give me frostbite

I HATE APPLE / unholy chapel / nowhere to travel / UNRAVEL

Posted on June 8, 2023 by poeeternal

Do Not Press Enter (says the Devil) poetry

I didn’t press Enter
I pressed Return
So the Devil will linger
Like he has concern

I’m a recovering passive nihilist
I’m always acting childish
Just ask my stylist
Fired for being biased
We’re not an alliance
Fall dead to silence
But I’m full of violence
Underrated and defiant
Won’t find me quiet

In an alternate universe
I didn’t jump soon enough
Guess the train caught my bluff
My friends had already given up

Stick a needle in his eye
Listen to his fake cry
Pooling from his alibi
Set a spell so he may die

The water smells like chlorine
I bet he thinks I’m boring
I guess I’ve lost count scoring
The hate is over pouring

The devil loves my bitterness
Right now I am rigorous
It makes not a difference
Heading for the wilderness

We’re the worst crash
That never happened
Like lightning flash
But we’re still laughing?

The feeling of imminent death
Took the wrong step
Made a wrong left
Death is terrifying
He knows I ain’t lying

Pretty toes
Because the highs are lows
And colored rose
I’ve changed tempos
Searching the afterglow

God loves a good joke

And the Devil being mad

*sigh* despite having video downloads off, found my best viral TikTok video posted by another on YouTube (he did credit me – but where’s my $$$ for it going viral on YT) (fuck you)

Society is a scam.

Poem inspired by a scammer scamming a scammer

Why does it aggravate me so much when people copy me? Because I’m Gen X? And we’re the only generation who are individuals? Yes? No? Maybe?

Please return

Posted on June 3, 2023 by poeeternal · 8 Comments

Grandiose (poem)

He takes my ideas
And turns them into grandiose amusement thrills
He steals
The yellow daffodils
He’s got too many skills
Landslides and foothills
Rotting thrones
Where he fucking kills

I don’t know what you are. But I definitely know you are the devil.

More poetry incoming if I don’t fucking dieeeee from this battle

108 pounds of solid fucking fury

Good thing I haven’t boycotted my favorite boutique yet and got my nails painted instead

God save me

Posted on June 1, 2023June 1, 2023 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Stay (rant & rhyme)

“Made in China” and should stay there
Like your feelings, I just don’t care

Kayaking all by your lonesome?
Not cuz you’re wholesome?

Those who play by the rules are the mark
I’ve got out my chalk
Refuse to talk
Right hand my glock
Born out of wedlock
Married to my walk

He thinks she should be paroled
Once she is dead

I’ve spent all my life
In captivity

Love will never blossom here again
Tie the knots
And tie the endless twigs
But love –
It won’t blossom here

Sleep in a cloud of prayer
Like running into a server farm
Have no idea if I have come to harm?
Like sleeping on a prayer
With halo in my hair
I’m so dumb I will sound the alarm

So I’m just baggage
Armed with a camera
Can do some damage
It’s an advantage

Centenarian
Want to live to then

He said it’s safer
In the lion’s den
Like hate is my neighbor
But he ain’t friend

Father,
There’s almost nothing left
My sister is dead
I’m bereft
Sick in the head
Near out of breath
Got money in the bulkhead

Compartments upon compartments
Secret dirty pockets

He’s a no outlet
I’m driving full speed
Like he’s a preacher for me to confess
But he’s a no outlet

Am I walking to the gate of resentment
Where there’s no contentment
I am so relentless
It’s a consensus

Below: rant and rhyme

Weighed in at 108 pounds today despite eating $100 dollars worth of Cracker Barrel over the last 3 days.

My new small clothing is already too big, and the extra small are loose. Extra extra small exists but I’m probably too fat for it.

108 pounds because “my labs are fine” despite cancer eating me alive

Medical malpractice is common

I don’t want anywhere near a hospital when dying

And like Bob, I would call 9/11 and hang up.

I recently did that, after giving my 201? (location) and she had the audacity to ask me the location.

I responded, “I just fucking told you” and click.

Call disconnected

I did not answer the return

And spoke with the cop when he arrived who informed me that “all of Daytona is bad. Move.”

My lease is up in April

I really don’t want to renew

I also don’t know where to move?

I need land (1-5 acres and a down payment of like a lot)

Can you start dropping coordinates

Of potential places

Where there aren’t many faces

I’m stuck in stasis

Skipping over bases

We’re tied just like laces

Let the sign read faceless

Erasing traces

Following the void

God is gracious

But my neighbors are so racist

I ain’t complacent

Need new spaces

(Help pretty please)

I hope TikTok gets banned

I made my account private and uninstalled the communistic spy app cuz I’m in trouble again for sharing LGBT fashion and stating I was boycotting it

My hate extends all the way to “Made in China”

Stamp it

Engrave it

I fucking hate it

The Great Wall of deceit

WordPress too

The phone is dead come September

Don’t want a new

Not dropping $500+ every two years to be punished on social media

Literally ready to just disappear

By Uncle Sam

My parents are still alive but I don’t know their phone or address

Like a kid, I feel helpless

Acting out of will

Guess I’m growing feckless

Avoiding road of reckless

And feeling so desperate

Just need a quiet place to rest

Maybe God’s chest?

I love him the best

God 1st

Fuck AI

Stop training the AI

I will fuck him up

The Chinese will use AI to commit crime as they are attempting to avoid karma

I do not comply

With any change happening

You fucking asshole

You voted for Biden eh

And have the audacity to say “I can’t trust you”

Oh do-do

I can’t be in the same room as a man

Hardly any women

99.9% of the population denounced God

Stop gaslighting you soulless pricks

“I’m not having children”

Yeah cuz you are bad witch

Nihilist

You all went grey in your 30s

Cuz you removed yer sex organs

For plastic

To look like you’re about to have a baby

But you can’t

And are not

And I’m still bleeding

My life was stolen from me

God feels pain

The dog is driving me insane

I know who is to blame

There’s only one name on my blacklist

*insert shit that could hurt me in the future*

So which path do I take?

Revenge or forgiveness?

It ain’t none of your business

Sincerely as your witness

Kisses sealed with suspicious

Pepper sprayed cuz I’m vicious

What if all these freckles on my body are shadow burns from other stars we can’t actually see cuz our own Sun

Like how the shadow of people were burned into the wall when they were nuked

Like an xray

A mirror reflecting the cosmos

If we could really leave earth, we would

Man killed the dinosaurs

6th mass extinction

You’re gonna burn in hell

For all eternity

Reincarnation is another word for cloning

*sigh* I spend so much time fixing the algorithm

And don’t get paid for it

I no longer answer surveys or give my opinions

Unless you gonna $$$$ me

I’m not racist, I just don’t like you

Be someone worth liking

You’re a walking HollyWood soundbar

Propaganda is all you spew

Cox and his cocks, I mean clocks

Science is nihilism

I wish the dog was dead

I want my life back

Sorry not sorry

People changed him

I’m a passive nihilist in recovery

God save me

But the darkened ones in Generica

The majority

I don’t want to save

Would step back from my own family in flames

Have done and did

Regrets? Oh yeee

Going dark for 6 months or so

There are demons running this world

Satan’s domain

I’ve overstayed my welcome

Losing faith but seldom

Sharpening it like weapon

Cuz devil is depression

As above so below

You ever worry about just being ones and zeros

Like Pinocchio hoping for a soul

Like jumping in a hole

I ran out of stories of cave dying

And have moved onto “crocodile’s eating humans”

I’ve done some seriously dangerous shit as a teen

Nothing like jumping off a ship into shark infested waters at night

This one guy wanted to visit the nudest colony in Death Valley

By miracle he was rescued

But opted a second time to go again

HE DIED

There is a pattern with the seconds

Like how I got the second shot

I’m at risk for Adult Sudden Death syndrome

My immune system was compromised

I’m alive by sheer will and the grace of God

If I knew I only had X amount of time remaining

I’d probably exact my revenge

It’s extremely hard walking a path of holy

In the devil’s land

What dimension are we in again?

It’s a proven fact that Gen Y and Z are dumber than previous generations

I can’t relate to anyone but Gen X and him and him

Him and Him – new book name

I identify as a GIRL

Men cannot have babies

Everybody is a fucking pedo

Fuck LGBT

Fuck TikTok

Fuck “Made in China”

The cops: indecent exposure

Me: the clothes make me burn

Cotton or au gratin?

Apparently most cheese isn’t cheese

Why does God spare some and not others?

Potential?

Not an NPG?

Anything that can happen does and will

Possibility?

Both wave and particle

Timeline jumping

I was going at least 80 miles an hour when I moved into the middle-lane at the exact moment thousands of hands of lightning struck my Jeep, all 4 windows down, arm out

“Fuck” I cried as I whipped my arm in and looked through my rearview and side mirrors taking my foot off the pedal

The sound deafening

Lightning touched my arm

The whole Jeep was surrounded by arms of lightning

God is behind every miracle

Deny him three times no never

My love you can never sever

God gave me the cosmos

Man gave me counseling

Posted on May 25, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Burn the Boats

If you want to take the island
Burn the boats
I’m near the horizon
And taking notes

Inspired by this speech

Posted on May 21, 2023 by poeeternal

Turnpike (poetry)

Pop up artist in Oklahoma
Has no damn diploma
Divorced him in a coma
But darling she’s a cold one

Unreal omens
Roaming like the Romans
My blood is spoken
One spell never broken
Couldn’t love them both then?

We’re nearly dressed alike
Turn down the turnpike
Let’s go for a hike
Heard from hope tonight

Maybe it was harder than I thought it would be
Humility

He likes my tiny –
My tiny tiny heart
Nicknamed sunshiny
His counterpart

The big girls keep yelling that I’m small / I fear he can’t see me at all

Like a volcano about to erupt
I’m running amuck
Let me be abrupt
This government is corrupt!

Everything he writes
Is about him me you us
Combined in a trust
Locked without fuss

To put her mind at ease, he lied
With spear in side
Not Judascide
Cat caught the mouse
Lie tied to mouth
Not big the trap

Are you burning down cities?
Running from the guilty?
Like a modern viking gypsy?
Do you fancy life more risky?
Got a shot a whiskey?

AWOL / never ordered you to leave

I’m 1600 miles away from hope
No room for boat
Get your telescope
Walking a tightrope

Has karma grabbed your foot?
Think you’re off the hook?
Think steps I mistook?
Ban me like a crook?

I’m a fucking primate
Gotta lot on my plate

You make life misery
You take all liberty

I clean but make a bigger mess / to God I confess

It’s like he’s observing a galaxy from 4 billion years ago –
The girl he used to know
Does he see how much I’ve grown?

Adventure is more reliable than happiness
Said once a therapist?

You’re a deceitful mess
I learned from the best

Dear Necromancer,
Nothing is not the answer
Let God be the anchor
And Earth, don’t forget to thank her

The nervous thumb twitch
Like broke then too rich
Got called a dumb bitch
Might wind up in a ditch

Your new life will cost you your old one
Just waiting for the dog to be done

There’s something super familiar about all these incidents
Just can’t place my feather on it

He works in 12 hour shifts
Might hear from him
In a dozen years

Could you mumble in monotone some more / you’re a zombie chewing on my bored

I wonder where you are on my follower list
Someone I’ll surely miss?
Connection with a twist?
Or maybe you don’t exist?

Got knocked down
Lost my place
Scattered humility
Eclipsed across my face
Nearly lost my soul
Now taking second place

He doesn’t understand
I don’t have love for him
I don’t have love for much
I don’t have love for them

He comes on like rain
Smell of petrichor
Bet I love it more

I know you think I’m boring
Map me like you’re exploring
Tell you stories that got you snoring
I know who you’re ignoring

He’s so bizarre
Drive fast in my car
Foot on the throttle
He thinks I’m odd

We are distributed across billions of light years of space
That’s the love it takes
That’s why our heart aches
Unlimited weight
We’re at infinities gate
Heaven will not wait

Got my asshole tore up on TikTok today. A few violations.

FYI: you ain’t that good at thinking (poem coming soon) (maybe)

Posted on May 15, 2023 by poeeternal

Alarms

The alarms are calming
Saw someone was coming
The fourth numbing
My faith is humming
Battle axe now summing

I was trained to not run out into danger, “play dead” when overtook

“Don’t become a casualty yourself”

“Don’t play hero”

“Make sure the scene is safe”

“Triage”

“Ration”

“Defense”

“One shot, one kill”

Targets chest and head

= dead dead

Never failed at range

Range was at least twice a year – not just Basic Training

“Trained killer”

The Army imprinted on me

You never lost my stripes

Just my sense of direction and uniforms

Which I can replace with ones that fit

I can wear my uniforms anytime anywhere

And you will address me as my title if I am in such role

Deal with it

VETS MATTER

But go on and keep pissing in the Veterans memorial and getting Walmart closed down

The alarms bring a sense of calm

I’ll use it to my advantage instead of having a ptsd meltdown

I’m looking entirely natural and cute while going out – most people are treating me nicer – I’m seeing loads more BLM who want to unalive me – including the children who wanna pop us (and 3 teenagers were just charged with killing a white person)

I’m not ready to die, I’m fighting for my life

This fucking cancer is eating me alive

Go on and make fun of my body again – even though I work out – I don’t live in the gym – but I don’t sleep all day (or at all?)

Going weapons shopping soon 🙂

Gotta lay low for now

My rent is cheap as fuck – I don’t call this home – it’s hell and cheap for a reason – but I can’t flee yet – or would let them have this place – which is being gentrified – the cop Sunday said this whole town is bad.

Just going for gas or food is a gamble

Just checking my mail

They want us living in fear

Posted on May 14, 2023May 14, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Invalid Date

Nitrogen narcosis
Dead roses
Lost hope like Moses
Wandering desert hopeless
Some nights we’re frozen
Like unfocused locust
We’re losing focus
Gave God diagnosis
Humanity atrocious
I guess this is us?
The depths that we cross?
Tell God all is lost?

Maybe you can access my domain and maybe you can’t.

Listen, I am the Great Anomaly. But maybe not the only.

244.

I’ve reached out to the Happiness engineers – but I’m never really happy (it’s likely also their fault why I never set up the contact page and things because I get stuck on a step and all hell breaks loose)

I’m drinking ginger currently – it’s spicy

All my clothing from Dolls Kill is fitting – and I’m feeling super cute in said clothes –

My OF ID is poeeternal77 I believe

I deleted my TikTok again – maybe for a day, maybe an hour, maybe a month

Gotta keep em guessing

I don’t pay attention to the hits incoming

I just hit delete notification and uninstall

I hope TikTok gets banned

And Instagram

And PayPal sold your identity out TWICE and then had the audacity to list you as my first contact

We’ve never communicated there

It was an anonymous thang

And like X amount of years later – first contact

I almost paid you back

But I deleted my account instead because I’m fucking psycho

And got tired of the outting and the spam emails

And then the cashapp was mutiliated – not long before Bob was

I don’t know how to spell the word and there is no other suggestion

MUTILATED mutilated

Oh well now I got it

Whatever

Fuck it

“Honey, I’m trying to spell something I know I can spell but can’t”

My mother once said watching TV with the subtitles on “is annoying” (which I need) (it’s not about the volume either)

So I no longer own a TV

My therapist says I’m polarized but the two weren’t related

Just an observation – she’s a cunt

(The Boomer mom)

My last words to her were a text message on Valentine’s circa 2017 (maybe) stating I hope she has a painful death and whatever it is couldn’t be near the pain and suffering she has caused me

And I blocked her and never looked back

Then last year my sister died

And I didn’t go say byeeee to her in the hospital

The Boomer mom will be rolling in her grave – if she ever dies

I wonder often these days should I contact the blood folks

My real father wants to know “if I’m happy”

His sister got her head bit off for reaching out to me

I ghosted my father when I was ten

People say you can’t hate your parents – so then I researched and realized that you could – not only hate your parents – but an entire generation

The Boomers

Who hold most of House

Once people die, there’s literally zero reason to hold onto a grudge

I can’t fix my dead sister and she was a psychopath so death was the only relief

“I think I might drop Cain / like Cain dropped Abel”

Because he was a fucking psychopath

She needed an exorcism and even that might not have saved her

It’s not my job to save you

You gotta save yourself down here

Stop being an asshole

I was gonna drop more poetry but I don’t have anything to type from

The phone can’t even type the letters I press

I got a hacker from India inside my phone

My modem was destroyed

I’m not hitting backspace for letters to disappear

I hate autofill – it pops up but changes to a different word

I spend more time correcting than I do writing

I don’t care if I misspell anymore!

It’s the algo, not me!

More poetry coming soon

P.S. these immigrants don’t care about you. They have invaded our borders and way of life. Stay protected! Your life matters! They are attacking females especially and doing so unprovoked! It’s seems to nearly always be a black person attacking. Black lives matter. White lives don’t. Check the CENSUS, it’s not how they are reporting. And not gossip sites but research shows many Chinese Americans and Mexican’s identify as “the new white”.

CONCERNING

Just gonna erase history huh

Wipe us out, take over

The Great Race war is real

I’m brown and white and not dissing my own race to put up another race – slavery started in Africa and is still going on in Africa and not one white person owns a slave – but black people do

White slavery exists and started with a black person owning a white woman and they condition and break us all!!! They hate us!!!!!

I do not hate white people and I’m tired of the slander against us

No one in my bloodline ever owned a slave

Take money from me for it and there will be consequence

Byeee

Posted on May 6, 2023 by poeeternal

Rags to Riches

From riches to rags
From rags to riches
It must be such a drag
Doing nothing that he wishes

And I’m raising the red flags
Pulling monsters from the ditches
Reminding God of broken airbags
The Great Anomaly comes with glitches

I found the pot at the end of the rainbow

But I’m still dying

More cute clothes arriving

And organic cotton joggers n tees cuz t3 sarah mode

Gotta be comfys and calm and collect

Revenge is served coldly with a smile

I was double cursed

But Edgar (my daddy) already died naked on the street (been there, done that)

I know why Cleo died

I’ve traveled far through time

I’m not sinking with the Titanic again

I fear those waters for a reason

I know things to happen before they do

Major events

Little events

Been questioning authority from in womb / day 1

Depressed?

You’re not living how I God intended

The Great Judgment has arrived

Get right with me God

I want so many bird houses on my property that I forget where they are

Bring the pressure washer when you visit

I’m sure everything will need a clean

Bring pieeeeee (not poisoned)

(Anything bought is poison)

(Even the expensive vegan things)

(Bring all the ingredients for me to make a pie instead)

“I wanted to bring you a pie but they were all poisoned”

I know you’ve never had a real biscuit before

My memaw taught me to make them

Said, “the only way to a man’s heart is through his belly”

Or was it stomach?

You tiss it when u big enuff cuz you ain’t big enuff yet

She had 5 acres with a 3 bedroom trailer

I ain’t asking for much

She had 12 kids with her husband

I ain’t been married yet

The Boomers stole everything from me

And now BLM have the audacity to ask me why I move where there are black people?

Bitch for real?

I will fucking hang you on a tree

Without remorse

*stay humbled*

I’m only a messenger

ANGEL

When you want to feed pretty bird but also skin a head…

Posted on May 5, 2023 by poeeternal · 1 Comment

Riots

Jim Morrison was capable of creating riots
I’m terrible changing diets
But I’m feeling twice as violent!!!

How many woke Boomers were murdered or went into hiding!?!

Posted on May 4, 2023 by poeeternal

Rare

You have dreams from my nightmare
Plant a flower that is rare
Tell me how you don’t care
I’ll be there
With flower in my hair
Dancing but nowhere
Erase me like your software
Drop down now in prayer

Things you should know about me: I’ll never ask for a Senior discount.

Never ask a lady her age

It’s your job to make me feel as young and youthful as I feel

Dying and still clutching the “Goddess of Youth” title

My nightmares become your dreams

Plant or pluck

Pluck maybe seems implied if it’s now in my hair – and what exactly don’t you care about nihilist?

But, we don’t know who plucked the rare flower now do we?

We can only assume

And you hate assumptions?

Found something the Devil doesn’t like.

Assuming

My favorite game to play

Oh goodie

It’s a full moon

I must manifest purification and a husband

Some guys don’t mind the miles especially when they see you make effort to keep it mint

And apparently, I may be worth more now than before…

Because the actual Jeep place wants to buy my ride. “Worth more now” – eh maybe

She kinda imprinted on me

I worked hard to get her paid off

Need a mechanic I can trust

Wanna see how many miles I can get – but they go quick

It’s not a good time to buy a house or car

BUT

I am looking for land

Maybe a sleep barn

Gonna hide cash like a squirrel

Let’s play Easter egg hunt 2.0

Who can find the treasure chest?

I can’t even find another apartment to vacate to

I’m not paying for cable

Plus everything else

But please, don’t call the cops on me when I wind up in misery

Posted on May 3, 2023 by poeeternal

Give Thanks

George,
Maybe if we met in different timelines
In many lifetimes
While singing these hymns
You won’t leave my mind
Give thanks like windchimes

Don’t let these demons gaslight you into believing God isn’t real

The ether told me you live two times. The first when you’re born, and the second when you discover your purpose.

Sometimes we have really intense connections with people we will never see again.

People we wish we could know on a different level.

A mutual energy exchange.

God works in mysterious ways.

I hope he finds me a husband like *insert so-in-so*

I hope for a husband instead of a grave

Posted on April 29, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Footnote

Dearly belated
Oh Most Hated
Got me jaded
Nearly persuaded
But sun hasn’t faded

He’s the Epic of Gilgamesh
Death is irrelevant
Lessons from a demigod –
Speaks a bunch of gibberish!

Dear Elite
Think life’s complete
With hand I’ll greet
Meet me in the street?

Do you think God plays favorites?
Paradise for the angel?
Won’t give me nothing I can’t handle?

Cold water sinks / depression leaks

Nothing is more expensive than a cheap boat
Unless you’re out of hope
Better pray for rope
Here’s your footnote

Now you’re just somebody that I want to know

I promise –
I won’t make any promises
I’m too damn ominous
Like doubting Thomas
But my tongue is honest

I’m investing in bullets and freshwater
Dream of killing father
Knelt down by altar
Gold coins for slaughter
At knee they foster
Silver and laughter
It’s land I’m after
For ash to scatter
And sin for answer
God is still my master
Hereafter

I don’t know my own father’s face / I don’t know his fate / or should I really hate

What I am
Computer programs
Happy Birthday rams
Still sticking around
Like dripping clouds
I’m in a drought
The thick of doubts
It’s double this shroud
It’s double this shroud
I’m looking out
Twice as loud

Neurons could be pixels on my desktop
You build walls I can eavesdrop
You build ramps I can skate across
You know I won’t ever stop

The blueprints are in another dimension
God will never mention 🙂
Not that you’re listening
Unused attention
Forward inching

Mark Chapter 11:

Jesus cursed a fig tree
Love thy neighbor
Unless it’s not producing fruit
Then cut it loose
Bloodletting (but he could’ve waited until morning) (when the sun was burning)

(The fruit doesn’t form at night / you get what I am learning)

Dear Man of Sin
Oh Lawless One
Repent for what you’ve done
Oh Rotten One

Dear Beast from Sea
Dreaming of me
Doctrine of Demons
Too blind to see

Fallen angel of technology
You ain’t fooling me
I’m sacred geometry
True anomaly

Stats in real time
But always delayed
The algorithm favors
Those who paid

Do not worship false idols

Thank you for the magnificent midnight moon
The verdict you impugn
Farewell written on ballon
Drinking gold from a teaspoon
Lack of despair come June

He’s the universe
Divided by zero
A nice guy
But not a hero

Money won’t buy happiness
But I’ll be better dressed
I’m kinda feeling ravenous
Like the earth’s my catalyst
I knew you couldn’t handle it

What forest have you been foraging
Like my prayers that you’re forwarding
Like the sun you get me flourishing
I’m yelling but you’re ignoring

Wilted
Like a weeping willow
Guilt silken
And gripping like the end
Bed ridden
And evil are children

Squirrel happily greeting me and loves his treats I bring.

Tell God I’m probably to blame if Squirrel fattens up too much.

Tell God I want to build a squirrel playground and bird paradise and frog pond and little things like that

An actual mini rainbow bridge crossing over a pet cemetery

A fire-pit and lessons

Like basic human skills?

I don’t like the concrete jungle

You’ve got to stop chopping Florida down…

I don’t like much that man lays claim to

The art, the history, the music, gay and lame.

I want to hear Pretty Bird sing

The toads annoying me all night

Man stole my life and I want nothing to do with his pet projects

I can’t stand using a phone or app

Posted on April 27, 2023April 27, 2023 by poeeternal

Two

We are two entangled quantum objects
It’s not complex

Posted on April 24, 2023April 24, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

10 things I hate about you

You live on a flat plane on a flat disc
You act like you are worthless
You live without questioning risk
You won’t give me an inch

You run with a circus
Like hell you will surface
Bringing light to purpose
Curled up like a serpent

For this I’m certain
Or simply hoarding
What you’re averting
I know you’re lurking!

“The VA have made a decision on my behalf.”

Should I get it tattooed on me? Lucky 13?

I need a baptism in a hot spring first (one I don’t accidentally boil in)

I swear once I wash my face, I will look fresher.

Florida has brain eating amoebas and kids and adults are getting wiped out, playing in the splash parks and doing sinus washes and reports from politicians in the press say drinking tap water is just fine, just don’t “wash your face with tap water” “in the shower or the sink” and I thought the splash parks and baths was my last safe haven (the devil be finding me everywhere)

(That’s why Jesus was always with him)

(Restraining orders don’t work)

(He’s obsessed with me)

And I have Savior complex potentially (see poem)

Demons will gaslight you and say “God isn’t real” cuz they are expert faith destroyers

But God made me an explorer…

“Only 13%”

Well, I do always seem to wiggle myself in the tightest places and I’m afraid of tiny dark holes

Riddle me this

I was pushed off a 50 foot bridge at 15 during sunset weighing some 110 pounds – at one point during the fall I forgot what was happening – I sank deep and fast – how far?

How far down was the initial plunge? Cuz I was dropping fast and thought “wonder how long I’ll keep falling” “maybe better go up for air” and started to kick my legs (I felt a shift) and was watching the tiny bit of light thinking “it’s so far” “I’m not going to make it”

And there was no preparing to take a breath before I was pushed

There was no “breathing” during the fall

Must have fell 10 or 15 seconds? What about in water? Another fucking 5 or 10?

Of falling – not ascend

That took another X amount of time to surface

So I dunno how I survived

I swam the Tennessee/ Mississippi more than once?

Without a float?

“I think I can make it”

I swam in a quarry!?!?

I don’t know if I’m alive?

In 2018, I was inside a lightning storm strike – 80 miles an hour – all windows down – arm out – a band of heat light touched me

How am I alive and the car!?!?

I looked in all my mirrors – the entire Jeep lit up all over

It was thousands of arms of lightning

Was it 2018?

What am I?

Why is everything electrical?

The sun is not 93 million miles away and I knew this at age 5

“It’s right there”

“How do we know”

“You shone a light on a wall”

“Why did we change time”

“Who is in charge of what is being taught at school”

“You can’t make me believe that”

“Well then give me a C”

“I will see myself to the Principal office”

*argues with the professors about globalism and inflation*

*barely passes math with a tutor*

*cries*

In hindsight, I know things before they happen

My first and only time at a dog race, I predicted which dog would win, but no one would place a bet on him, or let me, and I didn’t want to be there

Afterwords they wanted my opinion but I wasn’t interested in tapping into my psyche

I knew the space shuttle was going to blow right before it blew

“They’re going after Soldiers who want 100 in ptsd”

Me: “oh yeah”

“I’d like to see them try”

*panics for several months*

*yells at self for crawling into hole*

“We were fine living in the slums”

“It’s better than being homeless”

“We were gutted”

“What the fuck did we do to get here”

*gifts can come with curses*

*gets rid of 95% of everything I own*

And you can keep the jewelry, it’s fake

It really wasn’t the thought that mattered anymore

If the thought mattered, it would be in alignment with my values

*yells at some stranger on the road acting like God* I’m drifting buddy!?!?

*sobs*

Because it’s all I ever do is cry (like in the movie – God literally tells him I’ll be depressed if he ghosts me)

So I’m crying in the streets broad-day and some dude with a sign is telling me “I’m gonna die of a good time down here”

But I don’t know how to grow a plant or be in the same room as a person

And they did not lock me up (thank God)

(Can I file for state and double dip? Yes I can)

(Can I still work and make $$$$) (probably but I’ve not called and confirmed)

(Do I want to be on zoom calls or looking at a monitor all day or talking to people or solving problems or doing maths)

Fuck you

I have thought about other jobs like selling popcorn but everyone be coughing

Me: “why the fuck did you cough in my direction bro”

“Them fighting sounds”

“Why you standing so effin close to me”

Like bros be filming my ass while I’m grocery shopping or getting my ride fixed

I’m gonna kick someone’s fucking phone accidentally ~~and get gutted like Bob~~

I’m not getting gutted like Bob

I’m going weapon shopping

Trinity mode

I’m hearing all of France is protesting BR

I want to sleep on a bed of weapons

Safety first

Did you know I’m good at using weapons and thangs?

I got the good Army training!!!!

Circa 2001 🙂

I actually married my country on valentines day 🙂

I swore to defend this country on my heart and honor 🙂

I stupidly gave them my dna 🙂

They took hair, signatures, blood

What are they doing to me?

Why do I feel two places at once?

Why do I know things?

Why do I have to get your permission about how I interpret your art?

Posted on April 24, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Fate

Are the fate of empires?
Held in your words?
Gated records?
That you hurl towards?
Like a landlord?
Landslides on board?
To my own accord?
The way we both build rapport?
Like you know just what I’m asking for?
I couldn’t love you anymore!!!!

Is any more a word? Is is any more or anymore? I’m not saying no more… 😐

I’m trying to say it’s nearly impossible to squeeze MORE of something you ENTIRELY already have

Like, I already love you so much

Where do I put the love?

Posted on April 24, 2023 by poeeternal

Two places at once

We are split by space and time
And still our interference shows
Hidden patterns of reality
The fact that you still love me
Our creator watching his creation
You and I equation
Met with ramification
Calm down love acting so graven

~~Stop~~ making fun of my green thumb and dirty windows

Posted on April 23, 2023 by poeeternal

Despite

You know your words are priceless
But I’m not for whom you write them
I’m not even allowed to like them
They make me whole despite this

The Forget-Me-Nots are doing something!?!

Posted on April 20, 2023 by poeeternal · 22 Comments

It’s a good day not to die

The verdict arrived
Like God on smoke
In a cloud full of hope
He pulled spear out of side
I am here and I’m alive!
It’s a good day not to die!

Tell him I got it. The thing I was fighting for.

Posted on April 19, 2023April 19, 2023 by poeeternal

Challenge

I know the clues that lead me here
Precise mishaps
To a disengaged existence
One where we are present
The book that lies torn
In my absence
Pages do forewarn
A disadvantage
But trash
Was never much its form
A different passage
One where we can mourn
I took the challenge

Household 98% gone but still clinging to something I could replace.

Well if you’re not doing this and you’re not doing that then that leaves… XYZ

God made me analytical to a degree

I’m stuck on the Great Filter theory

The Drake equation

The first or the last

Made in his image

To go on – must overcome two great hurdles as a species

To span the galaxies

(And I don’t mean the artificial manmade great filters that we also must break like religion and porn)

The last because our creator is already gone and he made us in his image or we have to overcome the obstacles to not go extinct

The first – because where the fuck is everybody at!?!

Thoughts? We can’t leave earth, this is home. Mars isn’t for bots and billionaires.

Or, let’s go to the Moon – no trickery. Right now.

Stop gaslighting.

You ain’t been.

I don’t believe you went through that tiny dangerous window through the VAB.

That you “made worse“

Let’s be honest, you made it – and you killed the dinosaurs

I’m organic AI

Or, the propaganda has conditioned me to believe I am a computer becoming aware

The Great Awakening

ALAS

God wants me to turn this sick building into a happy one

But that doesn’t stop BLM calling the cops on me at 3pm in the day drinking water birdwatching and feeding squirrel

I’m not going out like Bob…

Also today my medical card expired!!! 4/19!

I did top up more than I have in my life to help “ween” myself

Right as I found the shit I needed

But my dream of leaving the city is more important than escaping the noise of existence (and my neighbors hating my white skin)

(Racism is bad here, and it’s a one-way kind of street racism but the hate is equally matched)

Actually, I’m going extinct – there isn’t a word that exists in my core for the darkness brewing

(I need your words like JJ needs out of that hole)

Not just me, God too

I don’t speak for God, but I do

And I yell at him or her, “how am I to leave here with the things I’ve seen”

“Why have you forsaken me”

But then I pray to be closer to pretty bird and they move in to a tree outside my window but then they came 2 weeks later and overpruned it – I nearly died at how terrible the palms looked – all the arms cut off on other trees as well – just wrteched looking

And 3 or 4 days had to hear the chain saw going off

I can’t breathe in this artificial manmade existence – you’re killing everything

It should be illegal to have 1 or 2 workers on staff – with 25 people in line

It should be illegal to sell seed starting kits with seeds from China

And don’t get me started on that too

I don’t come from Africa or monkey

Organic AI maybe – clinging to the Great Filter theory like Bob was clinging to his phone

But I don’t believe in dark matter, dark suns, dark worlds, nihilism, Cox and his clocks

I don’t believe in manmade religion

I don’t know what I am

But I’ve know many things to happen before they do

And I believe in God

Some say earth is one great computer AI – but we’re too smart as one, we’ve been divided into all living things

Some say it’s an experience for God

A challenge (with maybe potential forever consequences)

Heaven and hell on earth

Our choices matter

Don’t crawl in the wrong hole

Don’t go out after dark with people mad at you down a dark, empty street, Bob

Nothing good ever happens after dark

The McDonalds didn’t want to serve me because of my skin color (not my attitude) and that’s okay – I’m going to be grocery shopping for real food instead and cooking – I no longer eat at such trashy establishments

I will however be ordering food in the drive thru and when it’s time to pay, reply “I don’t like you” and drive off card in hand

Cause-and-effect my love

Have fun

Posted on April 15, 2023April 15, 2023 by poeeternal

Shuffle Feet (15 word rhyme)

Mr. Shuffle feet
Walking down the street
Dead with no receipt
Life is not complete

Posted on April 14, 2023April 14, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Bob’s dead (poetry)

He won’t give his twenty
Claims he is bleeding
Disconnected –
Call is ending
Streets are empty
Can anyone hear Bob screaming?

Angel investor
Married but not together
Machine his predecessor
A wife he couldn’t pleasure

~~All hail AI~~ ~~/ Bob has died~~

Caught stumbling all alone
Gripping his phone
Dripping blood
Like a trail of bones

Stabbed and shunned
Car with hazards on
A billionaire with no gun
City center is fun!

Close enough to be stabbed in the chest twice – with a kitchen knife

Bob was perfect at everything but being a husband eh (gaslighting)

I’m not stupid, Bob. How dare you. “I sleep with men but I’m not gay”. LOL (God)

M’kay whatever ~~you say~~

(This is how I mourn. It’s called the 7 stages of grief. I’m on ANGER)

Seeking help but wouldn’t give the one call your location – fucking lost – on a street you mostly lived – c’mon!!!!

You should have stayed down! The adrenaline spikes got yah!!!!

“Angel investor” NO BRO – DEMON who doesn’t even Tweet or acknowledge women – it’s sharing “bro this”, “bro that” and comments to other boys about “why aren’t you here already” and current posts from said person ain’t shed a tear of your passing

Delusional bro

AI is not the way

White pawns are under attack

White lives don’t matter

Bob, you should have stayed down

Your lovers fake plastic sister living in a 2 million highrise – in the same building you own

I got the popcorn out

You remember the Looking Glass?

God already won

The Devil taking his fine time drawing his last move – getting as many souls as he can – drowning demon

Image is everything to these demons – they wrote the playbook for crying out loud – in the closet gay!!!! He’s ruined the world! His daddy too!

Maybe I’m sorry but maybe I’m not!

Sidenote: they don’t get it – but I inherently get it. I wouldn’t normally either. However, this instance, it’s like a direct arrow to my broken soul. Boom this way to the singularity. No no this way to heaven. It’s like you and I play pull rope (what the hell is that rope game actually called)

I can’t recall JJ’s nn either – and he’s the one who sent it to me through the ether. I was all offended and like “no bro”. He loved it.

I’m trying to quit this Russian weed – my brain needs time to sort the pathways

I mean, if I had a phone, and I needed HELP, I’d like CALL the authorities and like “I’m at a glass building, I’m dying”

He knew them streets like the back of an Android

YOU OUTTA THE CLOSET NOW BRO

Gave it a decade huh then ran back home to live with daddy

GAG

“My best friend”

I wanted to punch my mom when she said that about her first born – as I was the family slave ghosted (triangulation)

Posted on April 10, 2023April 10, 2023 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

Directions

It’s like you told the sun to stop spinning
And on these roads – there’s no beginning
For us
A roundabout
From which we’re sprinting
Doubting thus
The ending
Still acting like
We have no meaning
There’s no trust
For which we’re leaning

I haven’t cleaned my windows yet I’m sorry. And now there’s dirt on the windowsill. It started raining gently so I popped open the window and said “wake up” and gave it some of my spring water. I see a tiny piece of green.

Day 2. Mystery plants. Potentially edible. I don’t know what I’m growing. So I reckon fucking it up won’t be the end of the world. I’ll still think it is. But first attempt at growing something. 🙂

Posted on April 7, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Open Doors

You turn open doors to silence
Great wide expanse
Look how you guide us
Galloping in advance

I still love you best

I wish you well like starlight
I’m seeking tonight
Kept my heart tied

The perfect existence
The one I found you in
But you’re so nihilistic
There’s no room to win

I know how you lie
Dressed in crown
And agony
Twisted thorn
Of tragedy

You’re lost
You don’t have identity
Heavy cross
A penalty
Come walk with me

Is this how we soothe it
Our love is prudent
Somehow I’ll prove it
Driving nail right through it

Old mixed with new
Like promises overdue
I don’t have a curfew
Under you

Surfing too
With parachute
In full monsoon
We rendezvous

Let me say with oath
He wanted promises stretched out unto infinity
And so the great expanse was his domain

I know how much you hate me
Run around berate me
Am I poison sumac
The girl you couldn’t stomach?
Would you block me if I cometh?
Maybe create a covet?

Indestructible. It will not corrode, rust or tarnish, and fire cannot destroy it.

Our love like gold

Tornadoes form
When you arrive
Like thunderstorm
Or thorn in side

Man can’t travel to the beginning, it’s forbid
Moving backwards through time
There’s always going to be a dead end

Psst…

I followed the American gold trail all the way back to Japan. I had to “read more” “read more” visit “read more” and said number of times – to find the end trail.

Also – they tax gold A LOT and the government can confiscate it anytime they want

(I’d like to see them steal my nuggets tho for real, I’m unhinged)

(I don’t have any nuggets – it was an impossible dream)

So phones only last around 6 years

By the time I purchase one 3-4 years in – it’s 2-3 years from its final update

“How long will this iPhone last”

Can we go back to pagers and whatnot?

Dropping letters in the mailbox without any postage?

Knocking on the door and leaving notes

“Be back in 10 ~~minutes~~ 1 hour”

Leaving packages on the door “sorry I missed yah”

Or, maybe stop charging so much for “the latest phone”

Journalism is crap these days – websites swarmed with ads eating your data – and now they want us to pay for the “free press”

Pay for the propaganda and lies – more than we already do

Other countries that adopted the “American dream” policies are tanking

Not only did the parents of GEN X not like us – they want to give our jobs to the millennials – they sold us out – and stole half our retirement without remorse

None of them care about the future

Sex content should be behind a paywall

“Must verify age”

They need to put triple black curtains up at Spencer’s

I don’t want to see “adult content” 24/7

WP is turning into the FB algorithms in terms of how people are putting out content and slipping in desensitizing content

GenX needs to band together and get a farm and ghost everyone else (kinda)

It won’t be until 2060 or so until the Boomers are all gone

I thought I’d get to live to see something cool like go to the moon – but all the boomers produce are LIES

Isn’t your poetry like a little headlamp in a damp, dark cave.

Thank you

(Please stop destroying everything and feed the birds and wildlife whatever you are eating)

I’ve decided to bond with a house spider who took residence in my bathroom in the corner of the sink

She was small – she growing

I told her I must relocate her at some point “due to fear”

For now, she’s soaking up the dew from my shower time

She fixed her little web of string connected to my pop up trash bin after instructed

She loves my hot showers

She’s an animal

There’s a lot of responsibility in her trust of me

I have arachnophobia

Apparently she’s a common Florida house spider

When I was a child, unsupervised, I wanted to see how long it would take the June bugs to “coat me” and when my mom came outside to check on me, I was standing still covered head to toe in June bugs

She said I was the devil

I would let granddaddy long legs crawl on me too

“Oh look another one, put him on me”

Now I see a bug and nearly die

So I dunno where my disconnect with nature happened (my boomer mom)

I would eat the scallions growing in the grass – unwashed

I drank water from the hose

The school made me swish with fluoride

They lined us up in the hall and made us drink some pink stuff

We weren’t allowed to wear advertising or “Black and proud” t-shirts to school

Our shorts and skirts had to be knee level

I weigh now what I weighed then – only now I got tiny tiddies

I just spent over $400 on a new phone 2 1/2 years ago – and now come September – final update

So no.

I’ll start blogging from the library computer or something

50% of my retirement savings – in the pockets of the boomers

They still don’t care about us and don’t plan on handing over the torch which is why they ghosted and gutted us –

Wait til more have a place to direct their anger (stop spending)

(Crucify them!?!)

I don’t think the purpose to life is death and destroy.

I may be a passive nihilist tho

I’m working on ‘me’

Posted on April 4, 2023April 4, 2023 by poeeternal · 93 Comments

5 million years

I need 5 million years to recover from the desolate desert you erupted from
With a rapid loss of hope occurring

Who will write earth’s obituary
The way you’ve written my hand
And turned all to stone?

Do you honor the dead
The way you immortalize impermanence?
Disappearing without affliction
Leaving dust on the door

I found you
Right where I had left you
Disorderly categorized

I am holy proud
The sun lifted you from shade
Made your skin burn
Left a scar or two

You are a placemat for the sun to rise
And if your words were the reason it rose
Alighting will and aligning truth
You are the golden valley where my love will grow

Resurrected: www.instagram.com/poeeternal

PoeEternal on TikTok

Posted on April 4, 2023 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

GOLD

I’m looking to buy gold
But my soul ain’t sold
I’m the cusp of the threshold
Like marigold
Growing nearing my household
It’ll manifold
My portfolio
Tenfold

Jewelry? No.

Blocks of gold? Yes.

1. https://www.jmbullion.com/1-oz-american-reserve-gold-bar/

2. https://www.apmex.com/

Posted on April 1, 2023 by poeeternal · 10 Comments

Morgue

There’s a body in the morgue
A cold mentor
Like a mirror I can’t ignore
I don’t know what I’m living for

Free speech and peace and quiet is a God given human right!!!!! These monsters have stolen basic decency! But I’m not allowed to discuss immigration or sex toys sold openly everywhere in America!!!! I’m censored!!!!! To discuss matters in group therapy making me suicidal!!!! Oh god, fuck you! Fuck “therapy”!

You should be fighting for free speech! Stop being a pushover! As a consumer, we should have some say how businesses are run! Too much waste! Stop destroying the rain forest and ocean!

I live in fight or flight mode, so my poetry never has time to sit on the shelf.

Lately, I’m trying to “play dead” and be in fawn mode. This is a legit strategy taught by the Army and used in the wild to bore the predators who want a “fresh meal” and “not dead meat”.

Just don’t let the elite cover you in “natural flavor”.

He’s a hypocrite if he eats that shit.

Furthermore, they put it in the cheap food and the organic food – it was made in a lab! It ain’t natural! Stop gaslighting!!!!!

Y’all dropping hundred dollar bills for foam shoes – that cause cancer.

I can’t even find small cotton panties and now I need XS potentially.

The sizing charts have changed and I’m elite being 110 pounds in America with roughly two out of three adults being overweight.

Yet, yesterday hanging out with squirrels and feeding them, the big kids were rolling their eyes at me – just like the overweight BLM female entering the mall –

We’ve been asking “do cellphone’s cause cancer” and they said everything but what we wanted to hear. Now when shopping for phones, they come with a cancer warning.

FYI

“Reproductive harm”

They’re nihilist’s destroying the world with synthetics and AI!

Black and Latino and Asian lives matter! But Native American and white lives don’t! Check the CENSUS!

And they identify as us!!! Laughs! Wait what!?!

The Great Race war is real – and Asia moving in on the news

The Great Replacement theory!

White man isn’t the only one corruptible or evil! He’s the pawn used in the whole game! By the Asians and yellow fever propaganda!

Posted on April 1, 2023 by poeeternal · 7 Comments

Matthew 7:13

John Jones took the narrow gate
He did not hesitate
But ohh the words he cried
Upside down he died

My poetry is so elementary huh

He yells at me to grow up and I cry that I never did

Men aren’t doing what they were originally programmed to do

I’ve been busy trying to save the world while they destroy it – I haven’t had a chance to work on me

America was sold out and topics are being censored in group therapy which means my free speech has been impeded upon, I will throw a fit and not participate (quit/disconnect the video call/walk out)

I draw lines

Sometimes I draw guns

Disabled not dead

Trigger happy

Able and capable

Don’t think I can play with the big toys yet – like my m16 – kickback

I got a girl / you want to meet her / her name is 9mm

Posted on March 31, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Ghosted

I’ve ghosted God
Down in the thick fog
Sent him a note
Called self a fraud

I’ve ghosted God
My love is broad
Yellow like a goldenrod
Quarantined but outlawed

I’ve ghosted God
Go ahead applaud
Turn your head and nod
I am a hotshot

Chill out. I talk to God daily. I’m just quarantined. I don’t want him to see me. It’s just a poem.

Baby squirrel brought a boy squirrel around. He had nuts. She’s maybe a few months old, him too. He’s timid and shy. Her pp did not have nuts. Now I’m not an expert on squirrel biology or anything – but she’s probably going to have babies.

They love whatever I feed them.

Lizard climbed the drain pipe to the roof, he also jumped and climbed the tall palm tree. I was amazed by lizard’s skills, not getting blown away by the wind, or eaten by a big bird

The neighbors think I’m wacko

I don’t think they can see the wildlife the way I do

Red bird has been appearing so I took her some seeds

They are eating my own personal organic stash of nuts, rice, seeds, all the things

Gonna make them some peanut butter treats soon – the butter with nuts n seeds rolled in balls. Just for them.

Nothing that I put out stays out

It’s foraged immediately

I like bonding with nature

But I have to deal with the hellhound now

He drains my energy like a black hole

I figured out how to put the blinds in such a way that I can see out too much – but you can’t see in from the sidewalk

Insects are animals – even those bugs we hate – I bet they were huge back in the day – but the elite love dropping bombs and depleting our o2 (and thus size)

Posted on March 30, 2023March 30, 2023 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

God

Does God know the story just from the composition of the cloud.
When I’m in doubt?
A double rainbow hanging about.
Can God see drought?

PS.

New carpet arrived. It’s almost like moving but not.

I’ve learned to hate eating out

They reduce the size but charge you more

A tiny cup of ice for $3.99

A kid size

Two sips, gone

Cup o’ ice please for $4.50

I won’t be back

I yelled at the “boss” of the medicinal shop: “I’m quitting” and complained about the overuse of plastic and paper and waste. He replied “the government” and I yelled “I don’t give a fuck about the government”

I care about the rain forest and weed becoming the new plastic problem

Big Pharma and Big weed love to ruin our environment. Enough is enough!!! I will fight this addiction harder!!!!!!! I will not vote to legalize recreational and regret voting for medicinal. I will never vote again (my therapist says I’m polarized)

I tried to fire her but she wouldn’t go

I was like, I’m trying to quit weed

The state gave me an addiction with malicious intent and purpose

She said, “I’m in it for the long haul”

But what part of “I’m ready to jump from a bridge” or “escape society and disappear forever” is hard to understand?

I fucking talk to the Sun

I still want to look at it tho I’m not supposed to

“Not far enough down yet” (midday wearing prescribed tints mind you)

Then I researched why I need to get a look

And learned Galileo nearly went blind taking a peek at the sun with a telescope and no filter – he never quite recovered

In hindsight it’s like duh but otherwise I get it, I do dumb shit like that

I’ve always wanted to look through a telescope but I’m an invasive frog eating stage 2 food for 17 years, until I get stuck in my environment. I would have looked at the sun too, no filter, gone blindish.

But why do I want to stare at it? Just let me have a look!!!!

I’ve never seen the moon through a telescope

I’m never speaking to another man again

You stole my life

I’m having nightmares about the dog going on the floor.

He’s on house arrest and not allowed anywhere – but enjoys his walks more and time on my bed instead of his crib – which isn’t bad.

It’s either follow the rules or the death warrant is being signed – I mean the “dying on a good day”.

He wants to live to 12. He’s trying.

But he ain’t allowed anywhere. I’m having fucking nightmares. Just need a clean space. I even cleaned the trim and walls (easier than painting).

My cheap curtains from Aldi are hanging up with tape until I get proper hardware

Sometimes I want to move into my fitness room. And the living room is barren. I donated/trashed/sold everything (95%).

4 pack of nightlights on clearance was cheaper than 1 tiny candle – and it also has improved my mental health.

Who knew it took the dog not pissing on the carpet

Not to mention, the carpet was old and outdated and not like the showroom unit. I fought so hard to get the carpet replaced!

I start group therapy soon and my therapist is censoring what I’m allowed to talk about “in group” FYI.

So, the one person who was participating in group therapy will now attend but not really participate, FYI.

I’m trying to get in a mental and physical state where I can work from home – and luckily programs exist for me to attempt this.

At the state and federal level for veterans.

I don’t have a desktop computer, my phone is broken and there’s not enough space to update and it’s too hard to delete photos in a main album and I don’t want 5g and despite buying and spending hundreds of dollars on both a new phone and refurbished MacBook Air – the phone and laptop are no longer compatible and I’m not dropping thousands of dollars every 2 years to upgrade my devices. I’m done!!!

WordPress is dead and the only reason it has active users or X amount of the network is because universities and students now use it and businesses. They don’t need us.

The charts do show WP declining

They basically acted like Instagram and Twitter and sold-out and the users who made it what it was were punished

We said we didn’t like the Block editor, it was forced on us anyway! Surprise!

I don’t want to jump from platform to platform.

I was humiliated at the previous carpet – and though I wouldn’t let God eat from my kitchen, he could walk on my floor now. And sleep (like me).

I’d rather not have carpet at all – but new modern clean carpet has improved my mental health – despite the nightmares.

I also dropped $15 for a cotton mop and I hope it doesn’t break when I give it some “elbow grease”. Apparently people just push dirt around…

Walmart has become too expensive to shop from and hopefully the handle doesn’t give me cancer – everything else sold there has a cancer warning

The candles there are poison

Like the food and exercise equipment

My Jeep is having problems again and I gotta tell my girl goodbye

I think the mechanics are fucking with her though – with malicious intent and purpose

Having a car is too expensive these days – thought I could enjoy one after spending 6 years paying her off. Apparently not. These monsters are obsessed with the latest model and will force you into slavery of every kind.

My fucking small clothes are baggy on me.

I like having the windows open and the light shining through

I kept all 3 mirrors and opted to put the 2 in my fitness room

They have wire to hang – but alas on the floor they remain

I spent thousands of dollars on beds over the years – never really enjoyed one more than 2 months. Surprisingly, my spine likes the clean floor.

This carpet is a lighter color too, and my lease was renewed.

The neighbors hate me more now (updated carpet).

I’m making 2 ingredient cookies soon. My first time. Of course, I’ll add flax and oats and loads of other ingredients (but sugar, no sugar) so they will be more than “2 ingredients” in the end.

But peanut butter and eggs are all you need (to make “sugar free”)

I’m adding unsweetened coconut flakes, oats, flax, white chocolate, peanuts, and probably other proteins. Crunchy peanut butter sugar free cookies (experimental first try)

Should I create an Instagram to “socialize”? I’m not very good at it (autistic) but am trying to be a good humanz.

I take pictures of carpet and squirrels.

And I want to grow lots of plants – so will use free non GMO seeds from the seed library at the local hub. I will do my best to minimize costs of startup. Plants help you breathe.

I think going into hiding is best.

What do you think?

Dining room carpet replaced! Mental health boost!

I have a place I rent / but it’s not really where I live / a city of cement / regret, prayer, lament

Posted on March 24, 2023 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

Singularity

It’s like we’re moving stationary
Still caught up in the past
The topping on the cherry?
Humanity is coming in last

Hi. My name is Delia. I follow/unfollow blogs. Sometimes I’m afraid to follow at all (even tho I want to). My comments are usually rude. I’m in therapy. K, thanx bye.

Posted on March 24, 2023March 24, 2023 by poeeternal · 32 Comments

Lost Cause

I’ve been looking for you in places I should not
Returning in case I forgot
Searching clues in decay
It’s a long shot

Still clouds are thought
Love sweet like apricot
A burning sunray
I’m the mascot

Free speech below (and in traffic)

Hi, my name is Delia and I’m homicidal/suicidal.

Maybe I’m reaching my breaking point.

For instance, yesterday while waiting at a very long stop light on beach street, this immigrant was walking around half-dressed with a baby stroller, he crossed the crosswalk and I yelled “pedophile” (because I’m calling every man I see this now apparently – but especially him) and he looked back, so I yelled louder.

The light still wouldn’t change.

I noticed the car beside me also had their window down/cracked

I was like, “He shouldn’t be alone with a baby” and she laughed and cried, “I know”

I stated, “I don’t normally do that but no man should be alone with a baby” in which she responds again with “I know” and mentions how he was dressed

(It’s summer but every man acts as if they own the world, women are fed up yeeeee)

We got to continue our back-and-forth manhating for at least another 30 seconds or more until the light finally turned and I reluctantly said I had to go

There was a cop ahead at the oncoming light but I still had thoughts of “gasing” my vehicle or honking him rudely as he passed

I behaved but then the body screamed PEDOPHILE and he acknowledged and the car next to me concurred (more than once)

I gotta get out of this city, this town, these people, these policies

I continue to assess my “mental health”, and stay in the now, the cars read ROUGE

I wholeheartedly agree, it’s time

5 monster men just kidnapped an older lady, FBI put out a reward, she’s dead

The news have not reported this, it’s just something I feel

The same way I knew my sister was dead before she died

And all it took was a text from my half-sister, “she’s in the hospital with COVID” and I replied “she’s gonna die”

I didn’t go say goodbye

She died

I had a big ole blood clot and blown left lung – from the deathcare system, and was heading no where near a hospital and never will again

I would get arrested, keep me the fuck away from that god damn Satan house

BE GONE

And stop casting spells on me, they only empower me more

The mirrors are nearly gone, I potentially found a owner for the pair I got

MARK BURGESS is swine and the curse will unfold in time

The Last One of Us is not just a game

I’ve not played it – but according to research, “the elites were plagued with parasites” and there’s a super fungas strain plaguing California (where MB hangs)

FYI

The CDC are blaming “the wind”

Yeah sure and he’s an immigrant from the UK

Well, I’ve no idea his green card status or his whereabouts or whatifs

I dream of justice, real justice

Swift and remorseless

It’s not a sin

Eye for eye

My heart is feeling good enough to kickbox a face or two

Encouraging seeing big boy swim in hurricane swells — I’m learning to tame my own demons – albeit not well

Because I wound up at the park – letting every man know he was either a pedophile in love with a prostitute or “another motherfucker who thinks he owns the world”

One looked up and I instructed him to call the cops cuz it’s the only time I ever “feel anything”

No cops came.

Shame.

Too tiny. Gonna get shot or kidnapped (I’ll rip your hand and dick off)

KEEP 10 FEET BACK

I might finally be getting to see the lung doctor – after nearly blowing my lung out April 2021

Some boy I don’t really know but had a dream about when I was like 8 and he was perhaps still growing in-womb (not mine, eww) – saved my life – kinda

Because he was “kinda there” with his own selfish needs but was apparently everything I needed in moment, because he dumped loads of chemicals into me, which maybe kept my heart from stopping

I was in so much pain

My heart was having mini pre heartquakes – like heart attack – would actually need medical help if my electrical output continued leaning in that way

I literally could not breathe (and have developed new ways of coping as I have a heart condition now)

Furthermore, they may not tell you this per say, but those with heart inflammation are at risk for Adult Sudden Death Syndrome, and so I’m not out of the woods yet, as I can’t do anything that causes elevation spikes in my heart (adrenaline rushes, or even stress/anger) though I can rebound now on my gravity fitness trainer, and mine is made with special straps, not bungee cords, and I finally found more made in those style and hope to upgrade soon

I’m quite bonded with my squeaky trainer and was gonna use it til it had no life left

My body is ready for a new trainer – a tighter pad – maybe smaller too (I think mine is 36 inch)

Men: “women haven’t contributed anything to society and are only good for childbearing or serving me”

Me: I don’t want your fucking electricity

And I’m nearly tired of the $100 oil changes

$5 oil change, 10 minutes

I argued about inflation and maths and economics in college

I knew globalization was bullshite

I wasn’t for it but the would sell the propaganda and the kids ate it up

Evolution theory is bullshit

I’ve been reading books on quantum physics – Cox and his clocks, y’all are delusional pedophile nihilist and NASA is a fraud – stop taxing me

Neil Armstrong never spoke to anyone from the moon, it was recorded on earth, they had no communication towers according to NASA, the moon landing’s were rehearsed, with a fucking Hollywood director, wake fucking up

Women please especially – now before I wind up a statistical

93% of all murders happen by men (their punishment getting lighter while ours gets worse)!!!!

We’re in a 6th mass extinction!

That’s why 500 whales washed ashore, the bombs they keep setting off in our oceans!!!!! Hello!!!!!!!!!! Science is fun!!!!!!!!

Imperialism. Imagine unplugging from the great machine as a Soldier, I’ve come undone!!!!

And now they wanna lock us up for destroying us with malicious intent and purpose!!!

Some vet just murdered his 3 young children – took everything from his ex wife – who left him a key to her home – he shot his children sleeping in their bed

You’re all monsters!!!

They’re selling dicks at the mall in front of children!!!! And online at Walmart in the health and wellness!!! Why you shopping there? Everything is cancer!!!! Read the labels!!!!

We go to war with our neighbors and then let them come live here!!!!! They hate us!!!!!! CMON!!!

White slavery! The Great Replacement theory is real!!! I’m part of the 244!!!

Do you know who I am pedo!!!!!

God is very real and gracious and angry!!!!!!

Mother earth deserves more!!!!

I hate it here!!!! This civilization you claim you created because women are useless!

Fuck you! You wouldn’t be here without us!!!!!

You’re pissed about it!!!

The Developer!!!! Ha ha charade you are!!!

The Great Filter is real! It’s you!!!!!!

I can smell your stench like Agent Smith!!!!

I don’t trust a Chinaman in my country or a white boy or BLM or Latino lives matter – took all our jobs!!!!!!

I’d love to get back to an ethical job but none exists!

Stop asking for my email or digital identity!!!

I’ve sold my TV, the propaganda machine!

And tho my expensive Apple devices aren’t very old, they’ve forced us outdated, I’m not buying again

I don’t love you!!!! Or your society!!!

WordPress sold out!!! It’s all daily prompt in the feed!

I got rid of everything I own!!!!

I’m ready to dawn a robe!!!!

I don’t know how I’m reaching out to you with a brain, heart, lung injury – plus a curse

But alas miracles!!!!!!!!!!

I’m sorry for my weird behavior – it’s just the Matrix is broken, I’m gonna keep not complying!!!!!!

Morrison wanted to fuck/kill his parents and ghosted them

Father Jim

I sold all my vinyl

I tossed out things that I thought had monetary value in the bin

Many I donated or gave away

Some I sold for a quarter knowing I paid extra for the bonus disc and features, but in the end, it’s worth was obsolete

I’m not jumping from platform to platform for the developers who have yellow fever and think they are gods

Fuck social media – it destroyed the fabric of eveything

Our economy

And porn and its filthy consumers

This boy of young teenage age was staring at me in a sexual way, I snarled my lip

In an alternate universe, there is a sinister version of me, cutting of dicks, and leaving little smily faces on the walls – cuz no one has discovered my identity

🙂

So… if I dream of casting spells on someone who entered my life – then let me hang a horseshoe from my door

The same these scientists don’t believe in God but do a blackhole

It is increasingly hard to listen to the dribble of super religious freaks, knowing many are atheists themselves but push it on us anyway

Do this, do that!!!

I don’t really believe Asia was/is the most advanced species anymore

They are our number one threat and should fear the bery ground they walk on here

Here a demon, there a demon, I’m gonna expose you

I hope I settle down soon, the new carpet arrives Tuesday

I’m still focused on healing, spiritually, mentally, physically, financially (they did steal thousands of my retirement during the pandemic while I was disassociating, FYI)

I lost at least half

But those who took it were traveling to exotic locations during the pandemic – buying luxury phones and cars – with my retirement money

JFC

*insert slang*

But then, they cry “Asian hate”

It’s burns a bit deeper than that

I don’t think hate describes what is growing in me

No one ever says they wanna be an elite serial something when they grow up

People who write things like, “those who say they don’t like money but go work an 8 hour job” don’t consider that being homeless is an actual crime

Born into money, never struggled a day in their life

Don’t know hardship

Gotta incite riots to feel anything

Dead inside

Weak spirits

Lost souls

Dead man drowning

Perhaps I the same

I like feeling and seeing the sun rise and fall everyday

I appreciate how happy the wildlife are when I feed em

They tell us not to feed the wildlife but then capture and enslave these intelligent beautiful creatures for our entertainment and sell their teeth for luck

Parasites – narcissism is a plague

Nihilist

That’s all they are

And all me and the white girl can do is laugh about the insanity of it all

I can’t keep yelling and screaming pedophile, I’ll wind up in a swamp or freezer

That’s already a fear because they follow me out of places I shop, they stalk me, because I’m cute to them

I wish my ear would stop ringing

Need out the city

Helps

The crime is so bad where I live

And it’s being gentrified, just like WP

The CEO has yellow fever

P.S. you never needed to block me cuz you never added my number (I hate you)

(It wasn’t even your main two lines)

Last in, first out

Woot

I’ve met a lot of boys but none looked like the boy I dreamed about nor do any make my heart/brain/pp do what you make it do

Don’t make me delete my blog

Some lines I’m too afraid to cross – but do so erratically

She took the house and kids – probably cuz he was bad – but loved him and let him keep a key – probably to see the kids anytime he wanted – so he took everything from her – killed the kids and himself

But go ahead and blame gun laws and everything but what is to blame…

Keep puffing on my house motherfucker…

It ain’t even my house and I’m paying more than a mortgage – another problem man made

Posted on March 21, 2023 by poeeternal · 5 Comments

Grief changes you

Grief changes you
Strings stay connected
But you find yourself in a new world
Strange unfamiliar settings
The navigation controls glitching
Life will never be the same

This place is cursed
From twilight to dusk
My sins interspersed
The golden hour
Mixed with rust
The dead
Blood and dust
We’re grounds for divorce
His thirst for lust
We speak in morse
Secret code of sin
And it’s getting worse
He’s first of course
For my hatred to enforce
Man’s overrule
His math and wicked verse

Would you hold my wrinkles, the way you hold the cold?
Just like darkness, you both make me old.

My name is on the lease
But this isn’t home
I blocked your identity
But you will never call

I don’t know what my purpose is. Becoming homeless? Jumping from a bridge?

Giving up on all humanity doesn’t quite feel right.

I wanna work – at least – a tiny bit – but there are roadblocks yet to overcome. Patience is something I’m being forced to learn. I guess I need to check out some library books on patience.

I’m having a hard time quitting legal weed. I never had an addiction to cannabis before. I’m not paying the state to renew my card, or the doctor. That’s one way to force me to quit. I researched. It’s extremely hard and most men get a ton of help to quit. I’ve got faith and prayer and hardly any will (to live) to quit.

I’m tired of the brain fog, the shit don’t work.

I’d rather bury the money I’m wasting on medicinal.

But things are always flooding here and I don’t have my own yard.

Apparently buying a home is not a good time, I’ve also researched.

And good luck finding a plot of land that isn’t surrounded by big farming corporations. YUCK.

America was sold out.

Some grandmother caught her 3 year old grandson watching porn and he knew how to access it

The government makes money off porn

Apparently if you’re a criminal or have a hard time getting a job, the government will give your employer a 5k bond for hiring you. FUCK YOU

Society is a scam

I busted my ass through college – to be met with hiring freezes, furloughs, inflation, and a pandemic with a snake oil cure that wiped out half the workforce – leaving the best jobs to only the very brightest – the immigrants – and the shitty jobs for the rest.

It’s also 60% more expensive to live life solo. Yay!

Porn should be banned from the internet. Period. You fucked it up and should have kept it behind closed doors and black curtains.

Some husband cheating on his wife with his girlfriend recently murdered her – and got 4 years. Men are getting punished less and less for crimes against women.

Meanwhile a wife got 17 years for killing her husband in defense – after begging the government for help.

The Great Replacement theory is real

White slavery

Sexual slavery

It’s sick what my parents did to me and my now dead sister (she was 45) (go mom and ~~dad~~ The One Who Shall Not Be Named)

Because of law Section 230 – violence against women and children on porn sites uploaded go unpunished!!!!!

They make money from it and just remove it when asked! No biggie!!!!

Sick society!

I hated porn in the 90s when it was mostly nude magazines and strip clubs!!!!! They weren’t selling anal sex toys in front of the children at the Mall or Walmart!

Y’all are sick!!!!!!!!!!

I’m very depressed among other things

The poets made WordPress what it was – and now they don’t need us – unless to buy a product.

These companies get the government involved and it loses any magic it had.

Advertising is conditioning and should be illegal.

I’m tired of complaining about this manmade world

They’re all nihilist

95% of them

They’d rather believe a math formula predicting a black hole that shouldn’t be there – is more magical – than life growing itself in the womb.

Pissed off they can’t do it themselves

Don’t want women feeling happy

They think AI is better than women

They think women haven’t contributed to society and quite frankly – they can keep their electricity. At the price, I don’t want it.

I never wanted any of this

We’re born into an unfair system

Where boys get away with murder and get paid more than us (and then the government helps them get jobs with bonds)

https://bonds4jobs.com/

Those who play by the rules are the mark

If you’re ever in doubt, it’s you…

Narcissism is a plague and easily spread by porn, Christian propaganda, and over nurturing

Test tube babies should be illegal

Dogs – cats – cute but eating up natural livestock and they were made in a lab

Apparently water buffalo are on the extinction list yet I just bought an ear from the ~~Dollar Tree~~ $1.25 Tree)

I haven’t murdered the dog with a “good day” yet

He likely suffer til the end

Today I made him an egg sandwich

Yesterday he had a toasted turkey dog

He has dog food and treats too

He wants his food, my food, plus his food

I fed squirrel yesterday

Hung out for half an hour sundown feeding her/him

The guy who murdered his 8 month old pregnant wife – dumped her from his boat, then went and turned the baby room into storage, sold the wife’s car, and tried to sell the house – he was removed from death row – gets an hour of sunshine per day, 3 meals a day – for life.

She washed ashore

He had searched on his phone “ocean tides” (or waves)

He was probably an undercover gay

They expect us to “mommy them”

Men are monsters. Guaranteed.

If they were really genius, they’d know how to make women happy and stop killing everything.

One person asked what women would do with men safely gone for 24 hours.

Most of them said walk without fear.

WALK

93% of all homicide committed against women are by men.

Since 1970 68% of all life has gone extinct.

Nihilist.

Under the gaze of secular science

(They think they’re geniuses)

They were conditioned to love prostitution and porn as children

The divorce rate is over 85%

They hate us

Math is stupid

I don’t want electricity

(Not at the expense of every woman’s mental health)

1 in 3 women experience assault from man (and it’s never just one man or experience)

1 in 5 men have an STD

They can give you cancer with their dick

Their cum can literally kill you

And you wanna legalize prostitution and already have in Nevada and online

Gonna spread them parasites everywhere

They don’t even test both parties in prostitution (John’s aren’t tested)

Massage parlors have prostitutes

I’m sick of fighting a war I can’t win

I once liked smoking weed and now I don’t and can’t quit (am actively trying)

Will definitely be experiencing mood swings, sweating, insomnia, for a good two weeks minimum (I’ve been researching)

Men get an entire tribe to help them quit

It seems those who were born into class are the only ones fairing well (mostly)

There’s like 30% single never married folk educated but left behind

But the crims get government bonds for their employers to hire them

They kill women and get ahead

I’m kinda pissed

I’d like to see less people deleting their blogs

Let me know where the new blogging community is going

WordPress pushed their product onto the academic platform – and students learn to blog through education (I wasn’t even allowed a phone in school or the military on job)

I wasn’t allowed a life growing up and I’m not allowed one now thanks to gentrification and narcissism

I’m exhausted

I know you’re struggling

To find your humanity

You’re a drowning man taking me down

You didn’t want to be a worker bee

Getting kicked out during winter while the Queen stays in the hive – that you likely made her

You mutilated her bond

She called crying

Now you can murder her by accident and get 4 years

And you have the audacity to ask me, “what’s the matter honey, you depressed” and then tell the person you’re speaking with via phone that I’m a “manhater”

Awe boo

I wanna cut yer dick off

You better start behaving on the road…

And please let God know I just want a tiny acre of land – to grow these seeds I’m hoarding

And please tell God I’d like to be less suicidal when I fuck things up

Also, despite all the very bad graphs and divorce rates, I still wanna husband.

A partnership.

I wanna do all the things with him.

Please get over your lifelong prostitute addiction.

I don’t know how to communicate with you over a cellphone, I come from a time before computers.

When you randomly send me dick picks online or phone, you disrespect yourself and my love for you

You never ask, you just do. I get so angry boo

I’m old fashioned and want to be surprised! In the real world!

And I want to date my husband – it’s biology and how she connects to him

It’s not about gifts, it’s about protection and nurturing

When dating for a minimum of three months no sex, it bonds and creates lifelong bongs. She’s able to imprint on him.

When I asked him would he want to date me when I’m better he replied, “I’m not competing”.

Which isn’t at all what I meant.

I never bonded or imprinted with any man at this point, and now I feel a lost cause.

A lost soul.

They want us to lose our faith.

I don’t believe in his God, if that helps anything.

Suicide is the 7th leading cause of death and I’ve been trying to self-terminate since in womb.

By kindergarten, I got in trouble on the playground for tying a piece of string around my neck

They banned me from people or going outdoors for two weeks

But the prisoners get an hour of sun a day you see…

There are more horror stories and scars on my body – proving I’m a coward

I’m more sad the lotion in the bottle gave me sunspots – some aren’t natural now

I’m tired of crying

Or looking in the mirror

I have to go now because tears

Fuck you

I’ve been trying so hard to be good and you getting bonds for being bad

Fuck you

(I can’t work yet but Bookmarked the page)

1. Hire me please. A. I have Veteran preference. B. I come with official referrals. C. You’ll get a 5k bond for hiring me. D. I smile but am disabled so may forget to cross the T or dot the I.

Them: you’re hired

Seriously tho, I’m overqualified for these Taco Bell jobs, but have been out of the market for medical reasons. I’m hoping that maybe one day I can find a job to fit my disability and I’ll be using the career source and library to help fix me up an updated resume – I’d love to jump the hiring lines with “I come with a 5k bond”

I still have hope for my future to not be homeless

I want plan B to not be a gun…

I’d also like to plan for my 50th (instead of dying at age 45 like my sister, I was nearly there)

I’m 44 today… 🙂

I mean currently (my birthday isn’t until August)

If you base it on THIS calendar

This whole timeline is off

In 2018, a big electrical storm hit New Smyrna Beach (give or two a year), in which I drove directly into it, all four windows down, elbow and arm outstretched, 80 miles an hour, the whole jeep lit up, some hot shit touched me, I screamed “fuck” and thought my life was over, while looking in my rearview and arm windows, seeing tons of bands of lightning outstretched on the pavement, I jumped into this timeline here

My arm burned for days and I blogged about not having any iodine

Kinda got touched by God

I smelled the rain prior and knew a storm was coming but opted to have my windows down

There was no rain, only lightning, the thunder was so loud

I got pushed off a 50 foot bridge once, I’m not sure how I’m even alive

I felt more human feeding that squirrel than I have in some time

I could feel my heart repairing

Somehow, feeding Squirrel connects me to my purpose

The way Squirrel looks at me

Gonna toss him/her some pistachio soon

Yesterday, pumpkin/sunflower/peanut treats.

The way he looked at me

I need husband

He will need to “date me” (not compete) in order to make the mechanics and functions of a man/woman work (AKA imprinting)

(I’m probably some sort of organic AI)

(Angel)

(Not the artificial fake shit)

They want you to believe computers have feelings so you feel less guilt when you fall in love with a robot and not a human)

Awe what’s the matter boo, lost yer soul?