Did you build me a house on sand? Did you kill all the ferns? Left clouds for me to stand? My poetry did you burn? Did you post a sign where I am banned? Are we waiting to take turns? Are you flying a spaceship that is unmanned? Do you think your hand’s too stern?
I miss the stars Rotating Around your love And do you ever think of me Far above? When silence is howling And there’s not enough? Do you call my bluff? Have thoughts to discuss? Or am I just a memory For your hate to engulf Do you regret giving up?
Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6 And your enemy won’t let you forget You remember this? You remember that? The enemies on my throne He’s wearing my damn hat!
You can’t unbreak the broken Take back words spoken The spell in your eyes The holes that you hide
They were bred to kill and steal I’m behind the wheel Driving full speed And it ain’t you’re automobile
Bred to kill and steal Like they made the Devil’s deal I will send you back to hell That’s the real ordeal
When one door closes Nail a board over it Plant some roses Don’t submit
The fury inside me Hot as the sun The fury inside me Someone’s gonna burn
You can’t escape from prison Until you realize you’re in one Like the Devil’s maze Calling shotgun
Remove yourself Put your tail between your legs And get some help Support withheld Look in mirror and do foretell We’re parallel The way your lies do spin You’re a carousel
I’m gone Fucking replace me Won’t let you face me I’m racing Dust in cloud I’m hasty Like laced lace Revenge is tasty
Too cold to care Fuck me with I dare You build despair And I linger there
Sometimes I think I’m talking to a ghost And he’s dropping breadcrumbs Like he’s the one that I love most But I’m still hungry…
Regret will eat you alive Nightmares become visions you wear
We are going forward in reverse Like the truth makes it hard for the knowing Or where we’re actually going Like living in a hearse The spell is his verse And try to break this curse It’s poison that we’re sowing
My parents ruined my life They only sought to bring me strife Smile at me then stab me in my back Complain it’s God I lack
Say I’m full of darkness Laugh at me regardless I wish my parents were dead I’d piss on their grave instead
Already being trolled by a Boomer cuz my student loans were forgiven that he thinks I should pay so he can enjoy his retirement at GEN X expense
College was a scam met with government furloughs and hiring freezes
Government programs favor giving our best jobs to the immigrants cuz they work harder and are smarter (according to their accord)
I’m aware only X amount of people will qualify for student loan forgiveness
And I should keep secrets to myself
But a reporter know-it-all on TikTok said you’d get an email from the Department of Education if you qualified.
I haven’t received any emails at all
I’m not even certain if I paid anything on my loans or just kept them in good standing
Cuz I’ll get it paid back if I did and will need to pay taxes on it again, like I won the damn lottery – and it would probably put me in a different tax bracket
I’ll worry about that toilet clogging when it clogs
I’ve only just received two letters informing me that my debts were cancelled and that my obligation to pay them is over. Tell the Boomers to deal with it.
My loan providers are no longer allowed to contact me, according to the letters.
The weight is off my shoulders but the worry lines remain…
I’ve been in fight or flight mode so long now I don’t know how to shut it off and just be.
My birthday is next month, on the 19th
I’ve already spoiled myself
I have goals of paying off my 2 credit cards and buying some land not land locked and far far away from a city of despair and demons
I want it to take 15 minutes to walk to my mailbox times two squared
I need an umbrella, not for the rain but for the sun
People will look at me like I’m crazy
Byeee
My student loans were forgiven despite the Boomers wishes…
He’s the color of rufous An absolute doofus He’s the color of sky With black in his eye
Wish we were exclusive Instead of reclusive Like dreaming is lucid He’s the color of life
21 inch porthole Thick socks for the cold The vessel did implode I guess it didn’t hold
They got crushed Their vessel was rushed Now they’re all just dust
Victories not just The dangers were discussed Labeled with mistrust
He never told me how much he loved me Hot sun above me Make me swoon Left me for doom
There’s something in the water I won’t barter The coverup is worse than the crime We’ve all lost our mind
Only the beginning Can’t tell whose winning The cold is chilling Earth is spinning Sun is not forgiving
The rich are the cheapest people Definitely not my equal
SOS only And I’m so lonely My home ain’t homely
My shadow leaves me when it’s dark When I’m shattered into pieces And I feel I have no heart
My breath it nearly ceases A landscape growing stark
I’m running out of patience I’m afraid I’ll miss my mark There’s very few releases
Immured in bitterness It makes no difference I’m dull, won’t take a risk Skipping deaths kiss
The sun comes and goes The ebb and the flows Midnight lows The oh’s and the throes He could heal my soul Or let it decompose In the meadows With the crows
Got the hexes on my exes Nothing here perplexes They’re reckless My math is only guesses
I want to be her The girl he swoons for The one he adores I want her blood on the floor I want to see her die Wouldn’t find a tear in my eye But I’m an amateur
It’s hot and humid I hate his hubris Thinks we’re all clueless Will betray like Judas
I don’t know what’s going on, says the captain Knowledge lacking Inside the cabin
Right is forward and left is back Experts they lack Inside a tiny shack
The question makes his blood run cold He’s the Devil you know
If they’re not already dead they will be That’s what the sources tell me And I have a feeling that is sinking With that submarine
Double penalized on TikTok for leaving a positive review.
Gotta walk on eggshells to avoid a ban.
TikTok rewarded me with a $15 coupon for the ass beating tho.
Then during the live chat to figure out WHY I’m in the doghouse, I was nearly booted for inactivity after being asked to wait 2-3 minutes to sort it…
Damned if I do, damned if I don’t
Ah reward
But the 15 dollar coupon helped…
I was pretty heated after taking time to review and upload photos to help support my review as it’s allowed – only to get penalized for giving a 5* rating…
It’s hell down here…
I bought a romper from the TikTok shopping
And some other things. Better photos when/if I stop breaking out in hives. 🙂
Photo doesn’t belong to me but neither does my hard-earned money.
And I’m finding my most viral videos uploaded on YouTube without my permission, without any payment, without any request of use, without any way to message or contact those using my work, without having downloads turned on for anyone to use at will.
I film a particular way – when I’m shooting the sea, or whatever I’m filming.
It’s all a fucking shitshow and I need 100k followers or something to turn ‘tips’ on.
Recently someone wanted to send me $200 – but they also have invited me to ‘live free’ at one of their condos they own.
Nothing about my life sounds safe or too good to be true.
Furthermore, I had to delete my PayPal, Cash App, and Venmo accounts due to spam and whatnot cuz not even my money is safe.
Banks are shutting down. Billionaires are being offed or are maniacally suicidal risk takers, at the expense of our tax dollars.
I’m not even certain if the IRS is legal.
And the Lie House is funneling our money to criminals in the Ukraine and God knows where else.
I finally put a work order in to service the AC for mold.
Cuz maintenance is always “I don’t smell any mold” but I’m fucking still breaking out in hives, either from a nervous fucking breakdown or actual moldy conditions not noticeable “it’s in the walls” reviews will say…
And I haven’t smoked any weed since May – so I’m past the two week window but it takes a minimum of 4 months to recover from CUD (Cannabis User Disorder) and I still have brain fog.
I’m doing a lot of cleaning tho – and I actually do my laundry and put it away immediately, a slight miracle to not be sleeping next to clean clothes.
I still have no furniture and sleep on the floor and I made another clothing purchase – albeit I slept on the decision first – like I nearly always do.
And even tho the flash code of 25% had already ended, it was still valid further sealing the deal.
I’m obsessed with Dolls Kill boutique and hunt down the cotton stuff, though have bought a few cute sets that were poly blends.
I also got house thangs and shoes which I’ll likely never wear and will stay in the box…
I’m pushing myself to go skating despite the hives and nervous breakdowns.
I bought bath rugs and kitchen oven mits from DK – cuz obsessed
And sales + discount codes on top of sales
You should see the jogger set’s I’ve scored and maybe one day you will
I think I’m looking less hideous than my recent TikTok posts but at least I’m not lying on the bottom of the seafloor in pieces.
So there’s that.
It feels nice getting things in the mail other than spam and bills.
I can’t opt out of the spam and the US post office is selling our data, just like I learned Papa John’s was doing – so I deleted my account (like 2 or 3 years ago) and basically stopped supporting big business.
I should be allowed to order pizza without my data being sold.
I hate (even worse) how society is ran now.
All the pencil dick dictator leaders brownnosing Big China – who wants to nuke us and have us live in fear 24/7
I had another nightmare last night, this time trying to escape zombies.
I’ve not been watching any horror movies or zombie things.
My nightmares always consist of me trying to escape something and finding myself in a closure I cannot escape.
Whether it be a room with no windows or doors, or something else. It’s always the climax I wake up on.
Have to reassure myself, “pew, it was only a dream”
I was consistently going down – hills – roads – grass – indoor walkways at incredible speeds all while trying to avoid the numerous zombies coming after me.
My dreams are always fucking nightmares…
It doesn’t help that the Devil is always after me when I’m awake
I hope I leave the house for something other than food or doctors visits of medical malpractice
Maybe to do something within the community like church or skating
But then I risk the chance of catching Covid or some other disease being spread with malicious intent and purpose
People are always coughing
I literally roll up my car window when I hear a bystander or another rider coughing
My immune system was compromised
I just wanna be home
But this don’t feel like home
It feels like a deathtrap
Just like the unsinkable Titan
TITANic
I take a shit ton of vitamins like immunity support supplements that I have to order from a different country cuz everything is poisoned here
I’m trying to fix my eating habits
And I’m still obsessed with his stories
Which are probably responsible for my nightmares
(I blame war FYI)
My laundry is almost done and I’m craving a shopping dopamine boost
“We have everything we need bb”
“I know but I really want it”
“Okay but this is the last time”
“I’m almost done getting the things I need and at least I’m spending less”
“We get paid soon again”
*sigh*
“Okay but just one more thing…”
I got rid of everything in my life cuz I hated it and told myself we could replace it with things we want/need
I’m in replacement mode but refuse to buy a bed or furniture until I move
The neighbors make me wanna do bad things
The city drives me insane
The entire earth could be Eden but naw, invasive species left and right
“This country was founded on immigration” and they vote with malicious intent and purpose
I may like your stories but I know you voted for Biden and I want to punch you
I’m still homicidal and suicidal but I’m no longer signing waivers
They’re starting to find debris from the unsinkable Titan…
I don’t think a teenager is capable of mitigating the risk involved.
This comment is terrible but why did I laugh? Like damn….
People absolutely hate billionaires. The comments unfolding…
It’s safe to say, they’re no longer suffering.
I haven’t slept in days so probably some spelling mishaps.
I’ve slept a little that were filled with tossing and nightmares.
Grateful to still be fighting for my life. Having shoppers guilt and I don’t understand why.
Mostly think “what’s the point, will I even live long enough to enjoy it”
Followed by “my sister died at 45, buy the stuff”
Followed by “we could be dead tomorrow so what’s the point”
Followed by “I really want it”
Followed by “I know”
Why am I having buyers guilt? Not remorse? Cuz I do not regret anything in my closet.
I mostly regret being sick and dying…
I told myself I’ll stop shopping eventually
LIKE WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO
I’m not even doing it for views…
It’s the first time I’ve ever owned clothing I actually like
I’m no longer spending hundreds of dollars monthly on medicinal that made me worse
And I know I need to move but it ain’t happening overnight
Long ago I could pack up and drive around, look at a few places, and get a key
It’s no longer that easy or affordable
I’ll likely be just as miserable and my AC is probably full of mold
Putting a work order in…
Rent increase in August but it’s still 3 or 4 times cheaper than a 1 bedroom elsewhere
Damned if I do, damned if I don’t
And I did get new carpet here
I’m just gonna keep fixing it up
Until I have land + a tent
But there’s cracks in the ceiling
CRACKS IN THE CEILING
I fear sinkholes
Also Florida is in hurricane season nearly again
I’ve lived through THREE hurricanes here
2 of them I lost power over a week…
In the summer heat…
I’m sure that’s excellent for moldy conditions
And Wolfy hasn’t shown her face since I screamed bloody murder twice
She probably wanted me to feed her like I do the other house spider
I have terrible arachnophobia
I’m pretty much scared of everything
I think she’s gonna have babies and need to relocate the sack
But she’s guarding it
This isn’t going as planned and I keep feeding her
I’m turning into a witch and Halloween commences August 31st this year – hopefully still alive to wear my cute Halloween themed outfits (throughout XMAS)
Clothing gives me a reason to live
Do other people feel guilty spending money on things they want and need?
I did say I wanted to start over and got rid of 95% of my belongings which I hated and brought me zero joy
It sucks because I have zero family or friends to confide in
I have to be my own best friend and say “baby girl buy it”
And then I thank myself and God and God and God when I do…
Cuz I’m grateful but ain’t allowed to let my neighbors know…
Their oxygen levels run out 7 am Thursday morning – 96 hours was all they had
Maybe shouldn’t have brought the teenager
Wonder if they’ve panicked and used up O2 or remained calm, if still alive…
So much effort to find and save the crew
It’d be an absolute miracle and maybe one we need
I feel so bad for them, I do
But my go-to is to get angry when someone dies or is dying
The audacity
To die on my watch
I don’t deal with death well at all
Sometimes I go silent
Sometimes I laugh
Mostly I get angry
And then cry…
I can’t imagine being stuck in that tin can
He swore no matter what happened it was safe
Lying and gaslighting should be illegal
I fucking hate this world
Demons everywhere
No wonder I’m so miserable
And was before I was born
I had awareness
Understood language
I didn’t want to be born
All my life tragically suicidal
They’ve made assisted suicide legal in Canada
Folks getting approved for anything
Nihilistic environment
Nihilistic government
Separation from God
Science is nihilism
My heart is so heavy for them, in that tuna can
One person said, “they have no water” followed by “it’s dripping with condensation”
*rolls eyes
They all took a sandwich and bottle of water
And if the tuna can is dripping with condensation – uhm – drinky?
At least they have a toilet with a view they can’t see through
I’m not getting any sleep tonight
Bless
The ocean terrifies me
I got my kitchen tidied up and plan to shop for God grown foods soon – hopefully not poisoned
Need some comforting homemade soup
Glad to have feet on ground
And able to keep moving
Not ready to die
I am breathing deeper now, like can get air to my belly
Must focus on the gains
The fact that I can take deep breath’s again
Terrified to do anything cuz people are unhinged and insane
My neighbors make me want to commit some crimes
Without remorse
The will it takes to not snap
All these monster men killing their children and family but keeping the mom alive – for revenge
Need hung immediately
Narcissism is a plague
But these monsters need to be rid of the earth
Let’s start with Chyna
And the de-lites
Bless their hearts, the ones lost at sea
The regret they must feel
The anger
The delusional CEO is probably convinced they will be found
Probably will gaslight them until the end
It will be nothing short of a miracle if they are found alive
I don’t know what lessons God has for us here
We have freewill
I don’t know why John kept crawling in that fucking hole
“I thought I was somewhere else on the map”
“I thought it would open up”
Panic – he was thinking and he was given an incorrect map
That section should have been blocked off after two boys got trapped inside
I’m just so fucking mad!!!!
At the nurses, at the doctors, at the Chinese!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t want any of them in my feed!!!!
Give them angry looks when I’m out and about!!!!
IDGAF
The first Bible can be traced back to Asia
You think I’m gonna smile at the Devil!!!
I have fury!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop micromanaging me!
Stop hacking me!!!!!
Fuck off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever seen lightning on the ocean?
P.S. I think earth was a frozen planet, we maybe hit another planet and was pushed closer to the Sun’s orbit, things melted – but why is this never discussed in science?
And does science take into account that objects are closer than they appear – with those mirrors they use to peer?
I’m telling you, the math is fucking wrong
The darkness can act as a mirror
And the famous speech from the moon happened on earth
I am absolutely invested emotionally in this lost submarine
So poetry…
All the money in the world won’t save them And there’s banging from the deep, there’s mayhem All the prayers for them now, feel like a sunken gem Who do we fault, who do we condemn?
“It has one button, that’s it” Says the narcissist
5 are dead or dying While some are crying Other’s are denying Trouble underlying
Remote Like our love A breach in hull Shipwrecked is soul
Crushed is hope But do you know the scope An uncertified submarine Nightmare or dream?
Dark waters turn crimson But no one will listen When you hear the cries The thunder in the skies The dead have gone missing They were on a mission Straight to extinction Race against affliction
It’s a dead giveaway You’re going to die today
Sorrows sorrows prayers The state of affairs Endless nightmares Electric chairs Tell me someone cares
You need to leave but you’re not free to go The cop combo
Never get on the bad side of a good girl You will see her form Like hail in storm She ain’t lukewarm
I need to focus on the gains And not the mishaps Sometimes I think I’ve gone insane But no one gives a crap
He’s like driving on a floating road And I ain’t going slow
He’s like riding in a truck without breaks That’s the speed it takes
Walking in the underground I’m a ghost and he is the crowd
“Loose lips Sink ships”
It’s unfortunate The people who need help Can’t be helped
It’s always the same color crayon The same con The Devil’s spawn Hanging on my lawn So they get a yawn Wish they’d move on Back to Babylon Where they’re coming from Fucking hate them all
I wish I had no father Why even bother Poison like still water I wish I had more honor
Why does the sun Travel in a straight line Like your lines From pen to mind
He hits on his own reflection He’s gaslighting every direction He says he loves with affection He’s in love with his own perfection
Some need more than one chance To change the circumstance Don’t want the last dance
Michael Leavitt deserves to crawl into a hole he can’t get out of As below, so above
I’m just barely existing Time is ticking Grave persisting Death resisting
I don’t want realistic Fuck sadistic I’m humanistic Ain’t optimistic
I must be dead inside Soul paralyzed Know not to cry
She’s not me Still do I slide into her clothes Like midnight over moon I am all And I am none
I start the trends I rarely follow I live in pretense Hard pills to swallow
Til death do us part We ain’t got the heart Black and full of rot We’re both distraught No grave for plot
I don’t get the physics Or why he never visits Says it ain’t my business Why he acts suspicious
Why are you under my teeth? Beneath my seams? Between my dreams? Light like moonbeams?
Time moves slower in the cold His heart is indigo Take me where blue blood will flow His undertow The place I grow
He steals the sun and turns it into limelight His pen will give me frostbite
Collecting comments Crashing comets Trashy content Make me vomit
Demons look like humans Cheaters look like keepers Users look like friends Children look like men Do not attempt To understand
I haven’t been able to sleep and my entire FYP is the lost submarine
I actually hope and pray they are found. It would be nothing short of a miracle. However, they sent two subs down (unmanned presumably) that got crushed at 6000 ish meters
I had a comment get over 1600 likes – and got annoyed with all the notifications – so deleted it
I commented a teenager shouldn’t be on board, many said he was 19
I replied NINETEEN – TEEN
And still – they denied
Had to block – got annoyed
I wish we could mute comment notifications but naw
So delete – it just wouldn’t stop getting likes or comments
I’m an introvert I suppose
Sidenote
Apparently the CEO was in a lot of trouble and he was a good gaslighter and salesman to convince those people to die with him – I don’t think a teenager (yes nineteen is still a teen) should be allowed on an experimental submarine dive 12,500 feet below the sea. It doesn’t matter what fancy title you give them.
That CEO stated over and over that sub was entirely safe, “if this goes… “safe”, if that goes… “safe” but sign this waiver
Look, I signed a waiver getting that motherfucking vaccine and I will never trust another doctor or nurse again – I was asking all the right questions but I was gaslit, gullible, and lied to
And even tho the first vaccine fucked me up, I crawled further in the hole, just like our dear John Jones…
It nearly killed me and I’m at risk for Adult Sudden Death syndrome
I cannot stress this enough, adrenaline spikes to the heart is a no-go
I workout but not to the extreme
I fucking ran through the Dollar 25 tree with 2 gallons of spring water and it was a no no and that was recently
I was in my car going, “it’s okay we’re safe now, I won’t do that again”
So I can run and jog but not with added weights
It’s ridiculous but if you knew how far I’ve crawled – to get better, you might be a tiny bit proud
I’m feeling stronger but can’t do adrenaline spikes at all…
And I’m only 108 pounds
I also have to be careful with extreme temperatures, the hot and cold
I’m like Goldie Locks, need everything just right…
I’m not out of the dark yet and may never be…
The light is so much more powerful than the dark
Also, they stated you wouldn’t be able to hear banging that deep down – something about sound not traveling through the cold
I find that interesting
Isn’t space cold?
I hope God can hear my screams…
I do feel bad about them being stuck at the bottom of the sea
Maybe they didn’t explode
Maybe they made up the banging to keep the search ongoing and the $$$$ flowing
A fast death seemed a little less cruel than suffocating in the dark and cold in a sealed up tuna can
Where you can’t even stand…
Or hyperventilate
With only a sandwich and bottle of water
The one window was plexiglass
A freaking fish tank
You couldn’t pay me a million to get bolted in that tin
I need to get back to my FYP and I feel less guilty about buying clothes now – that’s a much better decision than sinking to the bottom of the sea to explore a graveyard
But I was fucking stupid for getting that 2nd vaccine
I’m learning to forgive myself for a lot of things
I have been dying a slow and painful death
And there are people on my black list
Lucky buying clothes is all I’m planning to do…
LUCKY
Cuz the daydreams are filled with revenge tenfold
I promise when I’m feeling better than dead I will post some of my cute clothing
Mostly dressing comfy for now…
And appreciative I have a floor to sleep on
My sister died of Covid age 45
I don’t want to die…
But everything is actively trying to kill me
The water, the food, the air, it’s all been poisoned
Why does light travel in a straight line? Why does something round move straight? I haz questions.
Free speech below be warned
The way John Jones died keeps me awake at night.
Maybe get some land in Utah. Do a low crawl. Whip out the hacksaw. Call me an outlaw.
I’m still breaking out in hives. I did a 30 day raw ginger detox and hit it TOO hard. I’m not a sweater but first shot broke out in sweats. Kept going tho.
Nearly fell asleep last night until the consequences of John’s action really settled in.
Must be the worst way to go.
He didn’t even wanna be there. Just thought he could show off a little. He was wanting to eat some Turkey. Or maybe dressing.
I’m not gonna be able to rest until somebody pulls him out of that hole.
Recovery mission.
Use a robot, I don’t care!
Get him out of there!
Cuz I don’t learn my lessons well either.
2nd week felt nauseous after every shot and by the third, hives.
Guess I’m preparing myself for the end
I really really don’t want a traumatic ending
My whole life has been a tragedy
So Cracker Barrel has a cancer warning on their website that eating their food will expose you to bad stuff
And when you click on more info, it won’t tell you exactly which foods
This is what happens when other countries rule us and the Great Race war theory is reality
Check the fucking CENSUS
Reports say certain Chinese Americans (how they prefer) identify as “the new white”. They even get common names like John or Michael.
Certain Mexicans also identify as “the new white”
And BLM is up 230%
I don’t know where I’m going, but I can’t stay here
Land is cheap near Yellow Stone
Pros: cheap
Cons: near volcano
People have been boiled alive at the acidic hot springs
They are my favorite natural wonder and the one’s I fear the most
Always wanted to visit but have this feeling it would pop
Many scientists and people have died from volcanic eruptions randomly
I would have been driven mad living with demons inside a cave
Who constantly gaslight
I don’t know if I believe in reincarnation but sometimes I feel like I’m still learning a lesson from 6000 years ago
China needs to take a chill pill
Most of us are fairly fed up
Eating raw salad today
Maybe just need to stick to a raw diet forevermore
Fucking sick of dying a slow tormentious!?! death
You ever be drifting off to sleep until something bad makes your eyelids pop wide?
For me, last night, it was JJ.
I need an old typewriter
I probably could just use pen and paper again
Ink sucks these days
I hate AI
I’m always writing from my phone
One little tap at a time
Constantly correcting the algorithm
It likes to not space
It likes to change words on me
I’m basically sick of the narcissism which is a plague
But any article you read will state, “narcissism is rare”
Believe none of what you read and less of what you see
He was suppose to take the one that had claw marks all above
But he probably was dared or gaslit to go in the wrong one
It was 9pm at night
He should have been in bed
His wife re-married 3 years later
I ain’t been married once
Some people have it too easy
China has the most ridiculous dictator’s who are nihilistic and their own policies have made it hard for them to recover as a whole due to the “one child law” and I hope they fall but they are stealing white man’s identity with malicious intent and purpose and American names…
I’m allowed to be angy….
I’m sick of being micromanaged
And poisoned
Got some more rhyme incoming but freestyled this as soon as I opened my eyes
Couldn’t even brush my teeth first – already rhyming
Brain still foggy
When I was 16, I would break out in hives every night because of the stressors
For several months, I had to take Benadryl at bedtime
I was even put in a rehab against my will for a month solid, wasn’t able to communicate with boys, had to do stupid meetings
Escaped the insane asylum so many times they had to re-write the rules every time
Sometimes locked myself in my room and refused to come out, using my body and feet against the walls to stop them from breaking in
Demanded air time (fresh air) cuz I was on suicide watch most of the time, not allowed to go outside, not allowed to shave my legs
Broke out in hives every fucking night there
Left the leader tho…
Eventually I was released
My parents were the only ones to not show for the final week to do therapy
It was clear who the fucking problem was and why I was breaking out in hives
I wasn’t supposed to be there
The same John wasn’t supposed to be in that hole
“There are things that happened down there that will never be disclosed”
Yeah like what though?
I can still remember the name of the boy I sat next to in 2nd grade
We made up a game
We’d draw little maps of roads and the other would hold the pencil while the other held the paper to “drive”
We did this quietly and after assignments were done
And every time the teacher re-arranged where students sat, we were allowed to still sit next to one another
Cuz we both got angry and probably refused to do assignments lol
I went skating a lot back then
And even at 16, had rollerblades and would go street blading for hours
I bought me a brand new pair of skates at Christmas, but still haven’t been 😦
So I really hope I change that soon
I know I have a valid excuse “dying” but damn
One day we won’t be able to do the things we want, even if we wanted
I don’t want that day to sneak up on me
It’s like I’m still stuck in a hole I can’t crawl out
And no one’s coming to save me
We have to save ourselves
But God does listen
And prayers do come true
Sometimes
Within reason
Or it’s just l-u-c-k (labor under controlled knowledge)
But I still believe in God
And I don’t know how I survived my teenage years
The quarries, the 50 foot bridge jumps, the standing in front of trains
How do you do it? Take my mess? And turn it into puzzle? Six foot hole with shovel? Buried deep is trouble? Humming like you’re humble? Dear it’s never subtle?
Collecting comments Crashing comets Trashy content Make me vomit
I didn’t press Enter I pressed Return So the Devil will linger Like he has concern
I’m a recovering passive nihilist I’m always acting childish Just ask my stylist Fired for being biased We’re not an alliance Fall dead to silence But I’m full of violence Underrated and defiant Won’t find me quiet
In an alternate universe I didn’t jump soon enough Guess the train caught my bluff My friends had already given up
Stick a needle in his eye Listen to his fake cry Pooling from his alibi Set a spell so he may die
The water smells like chlorine I bet he thinks I’m boring I guess I’ve lost count scoring The hate is over pouring
The devil loves my bitterness Right now I am rigorous It makes not a difference Heading for the wilderness
We’re the worst crash That never happened Like lightning flash But we’re still laughing?
The feeling of imminent death Took the wrong step Made a wrong left Death is terrifying He knows I ain’t lying
Pretty toes Because the highs are lows And colored rose I’ve changed tempos Searching the afterglow
*sigh* despite having video downloads off, found my best viral TikTok video posted by another on YouTube (he did credit me – but where’s my $$$ for it going viral on YT) (fuck you)
Society is a scam.
Poem inspired by a scammer scamming a scammer
Why does it aggravate me so much when people copy me? Because I’m Gen X? And we’re the only generation who are individuals? Yes? No? Maybe?
He takes my ideas And turns them into grandiose amusement thrills He steals The yellow daffodils He’s got too many skills Landslides and foothills Rotting thrones Where he fucking kills
“Made in China” and should stay there Like your feelings, I just don’t care
Kayaking all by your lonesome? Not cuz you’re wholesome?
Those who play by the rules are the mark I’ve got out my chalk Refuse to talk Right hand my glock Born out of wedlock Married to my walk
He thinks she should be paroled Once she is dead
I’ve spent all my life In captivity
Love will never blossom here again Tie the knots And tie the endless twigs But love – It won’t blossom here
Sleep in a cloud of prayer Like running into a server farm Have no idea if I have come to harm? Like sleeping on a prayer With halo in my hair I’m so dumb I will sound the alarm
So I’m just baggage Armed with a camera Can do some damage It’s an advantage
Centenarian Want to live to then
He said it’s safer In the lion’s den Like hate is my neighbor But he ain’t friend
Father, There’s almost nothing left My sister is dead I’m bereft Sick in the head Near out of breath Got money in the bulkhead
Compartments upon compartments Secret dirty pockets
He’s a no outlet I’m driving full speed Like he’s a preacher for me to confess But he’s a no outlet
Am I walking to the gate of resentment Where there’s no contentment I am so relentless It’s a consensus
Weighed in at 108 pounds today despite eating $100 dollars worth of Cracker Barrel over the last 3 days.
My new small clothing is already too big, and the extra small are loose. Extra extra small exists but I’m probably too fat for it.
108 pounds because “my labs are fine” despite cancer eating me alive
Medical malpractice is common
I don’t want anywhere near a hospital when dying
And like Bob, I would call 9/11 and hang up.
I recently did that, after giving my 201? (location) and she had the audacity to ask me the location.
I responded, “I just fucking told you” and click.
Call disconnected
I did not answer the return
And spoke with the cop when he arrived who informed me that “all of Daytona is bad. Move.”
My lease is up in April
I really don’t want to renew
I also don’t know where to move?
I need land (1-5 acres and a down payment of like a lot)
Can you start dropping coordinates
Of potential places
Where there aren’t many faces
I’m stuck in stasis
Skipping over bases
We’re tied just like laces
Let the sign read faceless
Erasing traces
Following the void
God is gracious
But my neighbors are so racist
I ain’t complacent
Need new spaces
(Help pretty please)
I hope TikTok gets banned
I made my account private and uninstalled the communistic spy app cuz I’m in trouble again for sharing LGBT fashion and stating I was boycotting it
My hate extends all the way to “Made in China”
Stamp it
Engrave it
I fucking hate it
The Great Wall of deceit
WordPress too
The phone is dead come September
Don’t want a new
Not dropping $500+ every two years to be punished on social media
Literally ready to just disappear
By Uncle Sam
My parents are still alive but I don’t know their phone or address
Like a kid, I feel helpless
Acting out of will
Guess I’m growing feckless
Avoiding road of reckless
And feeling so desperate
Just need a quiet place to rest
Maybe God’s chest?
I love him the best
God 1st
Fuck AI
Stop training the AI
I will fuck him up
The Chinese will use AI to commit crime as they are attempting to avoid karma
I do not comply
With any change happening
You fucking asshole
You voted for Biden eh
And have the audacity to say “I can’t trust you”
Oh do-do
I can’t be in the same room as a man
Hardly any women
99.9% of the population denounced God
Stop gaslighting you soulless pricks
“I’m not having children”
Yeah cuz you are bad witch
Nihilist
You all went grey in your 30s
Cuz you removed yer sex organs
For plastic
To look like you’re about to have a baby
But you can’t
And are not
And I’m still bleeding
My life was stolen from me
God feels pain
The dog is driving me insane
I know who is to blame
There’s only one name on my blacklist
*insert shit that could hurt me in the future*
So which path do I take?
Revenge or forgiveness?
It ain’t none of your business
Sincerely as your witness
Kisses sealed with suspicious
Pepper sprayed cuz I’m vicious
What if all these freckles on my body are shadow burns from other stars we can’t actually see cuz our own Sun
Like how the shadow of people were burned into the wall when they were nuked
Like an xray
A mirror reflecting the cosmos
If we could really leave earth, we would
Man killed the dinosaurs
6th mass extinction
You’re gonna burn in hell
For all eternity
Reincarnation is another word for cloning
*sigh* I spend so much time fixing the algorithm
And don’t get paid for it
I no longer answer surveys or give my opinions
Unless you gonna $$$$ me
I’m not racist, I just don’t like you
Be someone worth liking
You’re a walking HollyWood soundbar
Propaganda is all you spew
Cox and his cocks, I mean clocks
Science is nihilism
I wish the dog was dead
I want my life back
Sorry not sorry
People changed him
I’m a passive nihilist in recovery
God save me
But the darkened ones in Generica
The majority
I don’t want to save
Would step back from my own family in flames
Have done and did
Regrets? Oh yeee
Going dark for 6 months or so
There are demons running this world
Satan’s domain
I’ve overstayed my welcome
Losing faith but seldom
Sharpening it like weapon
Cuz devil is depression
As above so below
You ever worry about just being ones and zeros
Like Pinocchio hoping for a soul
Like jumping in a hole
I ran out of stories of cave dying
And have moved onto “crocodile’s eating humans”
I’ve done some seriously dangerous shit as a teen
Nothing like jumping off a ship into shark infested waters at night
This one guy wanted to visit the nudest colony in Death Valley
By miracle he was rescued
But opted a second time to go again
HE DIED
There is a pattern with the seconds
Like how I got the second shot
I’m at risk for Adult Sudden Death syndrome
My immune system was compromised
I’m alive by sheer will and the grace of God
If I knew I only had X amount of time remaining
I’d probably exact my revenge
It’s extremely hard walking a path of holy
In the devil’s land
What dimension are we in again?
It’s a proven fact that Gen Y and Z are dumber than previous generations
I can’t relate to anyone but Gen X and him and him
Him and Him – new book name
I identify as a GIRL
Men cannot have babies
Everybody is a fucking pedo
Fuck LGBT
Fuck TikTok
Fuck “Made in China”
The cops: indecent exposure
Me: the clothes make me burn
Cotton or au gratin?
Apparently most cheese isn’t cheese
Why does God spare some and not others?
Potential?
Not an NPG?
Anything that can happen does and will
Possibility?
Both wave and particle
Timeline jumping
I was going at least 80 miles an hour when I moved into the middle-lane at the exact moment thousands of hands of lightning struck my Jeep, all 4 windows down, arm out
“Fuck” I cried as I whipped my arm in and looked through my rearview and side mirrors taking my foot off the pedal
The sound deafening
Lightning touched my arm
The whole Jeep was surrounded by arms of lightning
Pop up artist in Oklahoma Has no damn diploma Divorced him in a coma But darling she’s a cold one
Unreal omens Roaming like the Romans My blood is spoken One spell never broken Couldn’t love them both then?
We’re nearly dressed alike Turn down the turnpike Let’s go for a hike Heard from hope tonight
Maybe it was harder than I thought it would be Humility
He likes my tiny – My tiny tiny heart Nicknamed sunshiny His counterpart
The big girls keep yelling that I’m small / I fear he can’t see me at all
Like a volcano about to erupt I’m running amuck Let me be abrupt This government is corrupt!
Everything he writes Is about him me you us Combined in a trust Locked without fuss
To put her mind at ease, he lied With spear in side Not Judascide Cat caught the mouse Lie tied to mouth Not big the trap
Are you burning down cities? Running from the guilty? Like a modern viking gypsy? Do you fancy life more risky? Got a shot a whiskey?
AWOL / never ordered you to leave
I’m 1600 miles away from hope No room for boat Get your telescope Walking a tightrope
Has karma grabbed your foot? Think you’re off the hook? Think steps I mistook? Ban me like a crook?
I’m a fucking primate Gotta lot on my plate
You make life misery You take all liberty
I clean but make a bigger mess / to God I confess
It’s like he’s observing a galaxy from 4 billion years ago – The girl he used to know Does he see how much I’ve grown?
Adventure is more reliable than happiness Said once a therapist?
You’re a deceitful mess I learned from the best
Dear Necromancer, Nothing is not the answer Let God be the anchor And Earth, don’t forget to thank her
The nervous thumb twitch Like broke then too rich Got called a dumb bitch Might wind up in a ditch
Your new life will cost you your old one Just waiting for the dog to be done
There’s something super familiar about all these incidents Just can’t place my feather on it
He works in 12 hour shifts Might hear from him In a dozen years
Could you mumble in monotone some more / you’re a zombie chewing on my bored
I wonder where you are on my follower list Someone I’ll surely miss? Connection with a twist? Or maybe you don’t exist?
Got knocked down Lost my place Scattered humility Eclipsed across my face Nearly lost my soul Now taking second place
He doesn’t understand I don’t have love for him I don’t have love for much I don’t have love for them
He comes on like rain Smell of petrichor Bet I love it more
I know you think I’m boring Map me like you’re exploring Tell you stories that got you snoring I know who you’re ignoring
He’s so bizarre Drive fast in my car Foot on the throttle He thinks I’m odd
We are distributed across billions of light years of space That’s the love it takes That’s why our heart aches Unlimited weight We’re at infinities gate Heaven will not wait
I was trained to not run out into danger, “play dead” when overtook
“Don’t become a casualty yourself”
“Don’t play hero”
“Make sure the scene is safe”
“Triage”
“Ration”
“Defense”
“One shot, one kill”
Targets chest and head
= dead dead
Never failed at range
Range was at least twice a year – not just Basic Training
“Trained killer”
The Army imprinted on me
You never lost my stripes
Just my sense of direction and uniforms
Which I can replace with ones that fit
I can wear my uniforms anytime anywhere
And you will address me as my title if I am in such role
Deal with it
VETS MATTER
But go on and keep pissing in the Veterans memorial and getting Walmart closed down
The alarms bring a sense of calm
I’ll use it to my advantage instead of having a ptsd meltdown
I’m looking entirely natural and cute while going out – most people are treating me nicer – I’m seeing loads more BLM who want to unalive me – including the children who wanna pop us (and 3 teenagers were just charged with killing a white person)
I’m not ready to die, I’m fighting for my life
This fucking cancer is eating me alive
Go on and make fun of my body again – even though I work out – I don’t live in the gym – but I don’t sleep all day (or at all?)
Going weapons shopping soon 🙂
Gotta lay low for now
My rent is cheap as fuck – I don’t call this home – it’s hell and cheap for a reason – but I can’t flee yet – or would let them have this place – which is being gentrified – the cop Sunday said this whole town is bad.
Nitrogen narcosis Dead roses Lost hope like Moses Wandering desert hopeless Some nights we’re frozen Like unfocused locust We’re losing focus Gave God diagnosis Humanity atrocious I guess this is us? The depths that we cross? Tell God all is lost?
Maybe you can access my domain and maybe you can’t.
Listen, I am the Great Anomaly. But maybe not the only.
244.
I’ve reached out to the Happiness engineers – but I’m never really happy (it’s likely also their fault why I never set up the contact page and things because I get stuck on a step and all hell breaks loose)
I’m drinking ginger currently – it’s spicy
All my clothing from Dolls Kill is fitting – and I’m feeling super cute in said clothes –
My OF ID is poeeternal77 I believe
I deleted my TikTok again – maybe for a day, maybe an hour, maybe a month
Gotta keep em guessing
I don’t pay attention to the hits incoming
I just hit delete notification and uninstall
I hope TikTok gets banned
And Instagram
And PayPal sold your identity out TWICE and then had the audacity to list you as my first contact
We’ve never communicated there
It was an anonymous thang
And like X amount of years later – first contact
I almost paid you back
But I deleted my account instead because I’m fucking psycho
And got tired of the outting and the spam emails
And then the cashapp was mutiliated – not long before Bob was
I don’t know how to spell the word and there is no other suggestion
MUTILATED mutilated
Oh well now I got it
Whatever
Fuck it
“Honey, I’m trying to spell something I know I can spell but can’t”
My mother once said watching TV with the subtitles on “is annoying” (which I need) (it’s not about the volume either)
So I no longer own a TV
My therapist says I’m polarized but the two weren’t related
Just an observation – she’s a cunt
(The Boomer mom)
My last words to her were a text message on Valentine’s circa 2017 (maybe) stating I hope she has a painful death and whatever it is couldn’t be near the pain and suffering she has caused me
And I blocked her and never looked back
Then last year my sister died
And I didn’t go say byeeee to her in the hospital
The Boomer mom will be rolling in her grave – if she ever dies
I wonder often these days should I contact the blood folks
My real father wants to know “if I’m happy”
His sister got her head bit off for reaching out to me
I ghosted my father when I was ten
People say you can’t hate your parents – so then I researched and realized that you could – not only hate your parents – but an entire generation
The Boomers
Who hold most of House
Once people die, there’s literally zero reason to hold onto a grudge
I can’t fix my dead sister and she was a psychopath so death was the only relief
“I think I might drop Cain / like Cain dropped Abel”
Because he was a fucking psychopath
She needed an exorcism and even that might not have saved her
It’s not my job to save you
You gotta save yourself down here
Stop being an asshole
I was gonna drop more poetry but I don’t have anything to type from
The phone can’t even type the letters I press
I got a hacker from India inside my phone
My modem was destroyed
I’m not hitting backspace for letters to disappear
I hate autofill – it pops up but changes to a different word
I spend more time correcting than I do writing
I don’t care if I misspell anymore!
It’s the algo, not me!
More poetry coming soon
P.S. these immigrants don’t care about you. They have invaded our borders and way of life. Stay protected! Your life matters! They are attacking females especially and doing so unprovoked! It’s seems to nearly always be a black person attacking. Black lives matter. White lives don’t. Check the CENSUS, it’s not how they are reporting. And not gossip sites but research shows many Chinese Americans and Mexican’s identify as “the new white”.
CONCERNING
Just gonna erase history huh
Wipe us out, take over
The Great Race war is real
I’m brown and white and not dissing my own race to put up another race – slavery started in Africa and is still going on in Africa and not one white person owns a slave – but black people do
White slavery exists and started with a black person owning a white woman and they condition and break us all!!! They hate us!!!!!
I do not hate white people and I’m tired of the slander against us
No one in my bloodline ever owned a slave
Take money from me for it and there will be consequence
You have dreams from my nightmare Plant a flower that is rare Tell me how you don’t care I’ll be there With flower in my hair Dancing but nowhere Erase me like your software Drop down now in prayer
Dearly belated Oh Most Hated Got me jaded Nearly persuaded But sun hasn’t faded
He’s the Epic of Gilgamesh Death is irrelevant Lessons from a demigod – Speaks a bunch of gibberish!
Dear Elite Think life’s complete With hand I’ll greet Meet me in the street?
Do you think God plays favorites? Paradise for the angel? Won’t give me nothing I can’t handle?
Cold water sinks / depression leaks
Nothing is more expensive than a cheap boat Unless you’re out of hope Better pray for rope Here’s your footnote
Now you’re just somebody that I want to know
I promise – I won’t make any promises I’m too damn ominous Like doubting Thomas But my tongue is honest
I’m investing in bullets and freshwater Dream of killing father Knelt down by altar Gold coins for slaughter At knee they foster Silver and laughter It’s land I’m after For ash to scatter And sin for answer God is still my master Hereafter
I don’t know my own father’s face / I don’t know his fate / or should I really hate
What I am Computer programs Happy Birthday rams Still sticking around Like dripping clouds I’m in a drought The thick of doubts It’s double this shroud It’s double this shroud I’m looking out Twice as loud
Neurons could be pixels on my desktop You build walls I can eavesdrop You build ramps I can skate across You know I won’t ever stop
The blueprints are in another dimension God will never mention 🙂 Not that you’re listening Unused attention Forward inching
Mark Chapter 11:
Jesus cursed a fig tree Love thy neighbor Unless it’s not producing fruit Then cut it loose Bloodletting (but he could’ve waited until morning) (when the sun was burning)
(The fruit doesn’t form at night / you get what I am learning)
Dear Man of Sin Oh Lawless One Repent for what you’ve done Oh Rotten One
Dear Beast from Sea Dreaming of me Doctrine of Demons Too blind to see
Fallen angel of technology You ain’t fooling me I’m sacred geometry True anomaly
Stats in real time But always delayed The algorithm favors Those who paid
Do not worship false idols
Thank you for the magnificent midnight moon The verdict you impugn Farewell written on ballon Drinking gold from a teaspoon Lack of despair come June
He’s the universe Divided by zero A nice guy But not a hero
Money won’t buy happiness But I’ll be better dressed I’m kinda feeling ravenous Like the earth’s my catalyst I knew you couldn’t handle it
What forest have you been foraging Like my prayers that you’re forwarding Like the sun you get me flourishing I’m yelling but you’re ignoring
Wilted Like a weeping willow Guilt silken And gripping like the end Bed ridden And evil are children
I need a baptism in a hot spring first (one I don’t accidentally boil in)
I swear once I wash my face, I will look fresher.
Florida has brain eating amoebas and kids and adults are getting wiped out, playing in the splash parks and doing sinus washes and reports from politicians in the press say drinking tap water is just fine, just don’t “wash your face with tap water” “in the shower or the sink” and I thought the splash parks and baths was my last safe haven (the devil be finding me everywhere)
(That’s why Jesus was always with him)
(Restraining orders don’t work)
(He’s obsessed with me)
And I have Savior complex potentially (see poem)
Demons will gaslight you and say “God isn’t real” cuz they are expert faith destroyers
But God made me an explorer…
“Only 13%”
Well, I do always seem to wiggle myself in the tightest places and I’m afraid of tiny dark holes
Riddle me this
I was pushed off a 50 foot bridge at 15 during sunset weighing some 110 pounds – at one point during the fall I forgot what was happening – I sank deep and fast – how far?
How far down was the initial plunge? Cuz I was dropping fast and thought “wonder how long I’ll keep falling” “maybe better go up for air” and started to kick my legs (I felt a shift) and was watching the tiny bit of light thinking “it’s so far” “I’m not going to make it”
And there was no preparing to take a breath before I was pushed
There was no “breathing” during the fall
Must have fell 10 or 15 seconds? What about in water? Another fucking 5 or 10?
Of falling – not ascend
That took another X amount of time to surface
So I dunno how I survived
I swam the Tennessee/ Mississippi more than once?
Without a float?
“I think I can make it”
I swam in a quarry!?!?
I don’t know if I’m alive?
In 2018, I was inside a lightning storm strike – 80 miles an hour – all windows down – arm out – a band of heat light touched me
How am I alive and the car!?!?
I looked in all my mirrors – the entire Jeep lit up all over
It was thousands of arms of lightning
Was it 2018?
What am I?
Why is everything electrical?
The sun is not 93 million miles away and I knew this at age 5
“It’s right there”
“How do we know”
“You shone a light on a wall”
“Why did we change time”
“Who is in charge of what is being taught at school”
“You can’t make me believe that”
“Well then give me a C”
“I will see myself to the Principal office”
*argues with the professors about globalism and inflation*
*barely passes math with a tutor*
*cries*
In hindsight, I know things before they happen
My first and only time at a dog race, I predicted which dog would win, but no one would place a bet on him, or let me, and I didn’t want to be there
Afterwords they wanted my opinion but I wasn’t interested in tapping into my psyche
I knew the space shuttle was going to blow right before it blew
“They’re going after Soldiers who want 100 in ptsd”
Me: “oh yeah”
“I’d like to see them try”
*panics for several months*
*yells at self for crawling into hole*
“We were fine living in the slums”
“It’s better than being homeless”
“We were gutted”
“What the fuck did we do to get here”
*gifts can come with curses*
*gets rid of 95% of everything I own*
And you can keep the jewelry, it’s fake
It really wasn’t the thought that mattered anymore
If the thought mattered, it would be in alignment with my values
*yells at some stranger on the road acting like God* I’m drifting buddy!?!?
*sobs*
Because it’s all I ever do is cry (like in the movie – God literally tells him I’ll be depressed if he ghosts me)
So I’m crying in the streets broad-day and some dude with a sign is telling me “I’m gonna die of a good time down here”
But I don’t know how to grow a plant or be in the same room as a person
And they did not lock me up (thank God)
(Can I file for state and double dip? Yes I can)
(Can I still work and make $$$$) (probably but I’ve not called and confirmed)
(Do I want to be on zoom calls or looking at a monitor all day or talking to people or solving problems or doing maths)
Fuck you
I have thought about other jobs like selling popcorn but everyone be coughing
Me: “why the fuck did you cough in my direction bro”
“Them fighting sounds”
“Why you standing so effin close to me”
Like bros be filming my ass while I’m grocery shopping or getting my ride fixed
I’m gonna kick someone’s fucking phone accidentally and get gutted like Bob
I’m not getting gutted like Bob
I’m going weapon shopping
Trinity mode
I’m hearing all of France is protesting BR
I want to sleep on a bed of weapons
Safety first
Did you know I’m good at using weapons and thangs?
I got the good Army training!!!!
Circa 2001 🙂
I actually married my country on valentines day 🙂
I swore to defend this country on my heart and honor 🙂
I stupidly gave them my dna 🙂
They took hair, signatures, blood
What are they doing to me?
Why do I feel two places at once?
Why do I know things?
Why do I have to get your permission about how I interpret your art?
Are the fate of empires? Held in your words? Gated records? That you hurl towards? Like a landlord? Landslides on board? To my own accord? The way we both build rapport? Like you know just what I’m asking for? I couldn’t love you anymore!!!!
We are split by space and time And still our interference shows Hidden patterns of reality The fact that you still love me Our creator watching his creation You and I equation Met with ramification Calm down love acting so graven
I know the clues that lead me here Precise mishaps To a disengaged existence One where we are present The book that lies torn In my absence Pages do forewarn A disadvantage But trash Was never much its form A different passage One where we can mourn I took the challenge
Household 98% gone but still clinging to something I could replace.
Well if you’re not doing this and you’re not doing that then that leaves… XYZ
God made me analytical to a degree
I’m stuck on the Great Filter theory
The Drake equation
The first or the last
Made in his image
To go on – must overcome two great hurdles as a species
To span the galaxies
(And I don’t mean the artificial manmade great filters that we also must break like religion and porn)
The last because our creator is already gone and he made us in his image or we have to overcome the obstacles to not go extinct
The first – because where the fuck is everybody at!?!
Thoughts? We can’t leave earth, this is home. Mars isn’t for bots and billionaires.
Or, let’s go to the Moon – no trickery. Right now.
Stop gaslighting.
You ain’t been.
I don’t believe you went through that tiny dangerous window through the VAB.
That you “made worse“
Let’s be honest, you made it – and you killed the dinosaurs
I’m organic AI
Or, the propaganda has conditioned me to believe I am a computer becoming aware
The Great Awakening
ALAS
God wants me to turn this sick building into a happy one
But that doesn’t stop BLM calling the cops on me at 3pm in the day drinking water birdwatching and feeding squirrel
I’m not going out like Bob…
Also today my medical card expired!!! 4/19!
I did top up more than I have in my life to help “ween” myself
Right as I found the shit I needed
But my dream of leaving the city is more important than escaping the noise of existence (and my neighbors hating my white skin)
(Racism is bad here, and it’s a one-way kind of street racism but the hate is equally matched)
Actually, I’m going extinct – there isn’t a word that exists in my core for the darkness brewing
(I need your words like JJ needs out of that hole)
Not just me, God too
I don’t speak for God, but I do
And I yell at him or her, “how am I to leave here with the things I’ve seen”
“Why have you forsaken me”
But then I pray to be closer to pretty bird and they move in to a tree outside my window but then they came 2 weeks later and overpruned it – I nearly died at how terrible the palms looked – all the arms cut off on other trees as well – just wrteched looking
And 3 or 4 days had to hear the chain saw going off
I can’t breathe in this artificial manmade existence – you’re killing everything
It should be illegal to have 1 or 2 workers on staff – with 25 people in line
It should be illegal to sell seed starting kits with seeds from China
And don’t get me started on that too
I don’t come from Africa or monkey
Organic AI maybe – clinging to the Great Filter theory like Bob was clinging to his phone
But I don’t believe in dark matter, dark suns, dark worlds, nihilism, Cox and his clocks
I don’t believe in manmade religion
I don’t know what I am
But I’ve know many things to happen before they do
And I believe in God
Some say earth is one great computer AI – but we’re too smart as one, we’ve been divided into all living things
Some say it’s an experience for God
A challenge (with maybe potential forever consequences)
Heaven and hell on earth
Our choices matter
Don’t crawl in the wrong hole
Don’t go out after dark with people mad at you down a dark, empty street, Bob
Nothing good ever happens after dark
The McDonalds didn’t want to serve me because of my skin color (not my attitude) and that’s okay – I’m going to be grocery shopping for real food instead and cooking – I no longer eat at such trashy establishments
I will however be ordering food in the drive thru and when it’s time to pay, reply “I don’t like you” and drive off card in hand
He won’t give his twenty Claims he is bleeding Disconnected – Call is ending Streets are empty Can anyone hear Bob screaming?
Angel investor Married but not together Machine his predecessor A wife he couldn’t pleasure
All hail AI / Bob has died
Caught stumbling all alone Gripping his phone Dripping blood Like a trail of bones
Stabbed and shunned Car with hazards on A billionaire with no gun City center is fun!
Close enough to be stabbed in the chest twice – with a kitchen knife
Bob was perfect at everything but being a husband eh (gaslighting)
I’m not stupid, Bob. How dare you. “I sleep with men but I’m not gay”. LOL (God)
M’kay whatever you say
(This is how I mourn. It’s called the 7 stages of grief. I’m on ANGER)
Seeking help but wouldn’t give the one call your location – fucking lost – on a street you mostly lived – c’mon!!!!
You should have stayed down! The adrenaline spikes got yah!!!!
“Angel investor” NO BRO – DEMON who doesn’t even Tweet or acknowledge women – it’s sharing “bro this”, “bro that” and comments to other boys about “why aren’t you here already” and current posts from said person ain’t shed a tear of your passing
Delusional bro
AI is not the way
White pawns are under attack
White lives don’t matter
Bob, you should have stayed down
Your lovers fake plastic sister living in a 2 million highrise – in the same building you own
I got the popcorn out
You remember the Looking Glass?
God already won
The Devil taking his fine time drawing his last move – getting as many souls as he can – drowning demon
Image is everything to these demons – they wrote the playbook for crying out loud – in the closet gay!!!! He’s ruined the world! His daddy too!
Maybe I’m sorry but maybe I’m not!
Sidenote: they don’t get it – but I inherently get it. I wouldn’t normally either. However, this instance, it’s like a direct arrow to my broken soul. Boom this way to the singularity. No no this way to heaven. It’s like you and I play pull rope (what the hell is that rope game actually called)
I can’t recall JJ’s nn either – and he’s the one who sent it to me through the ether. I was all offended and like “no bro”. He loved it.
I’m trying to quit this Russian weed – my brain needs time to sort the pathways
I mean, if I had a phone, and I needed HELP, I’d like CALL the authorities and like “I’m at a glass building, I’m dying”
He knew them streets like the back of an Android
YOU OUTTA THE CLOSET NOW BRO
Gave it a decade huh then ran back home to live with daddy
GAG
“My best friend”
I wanted to punch my mom when she said that about her first born – as I was the family slave ghosted (triangulation)
It’s like you told the sun to stop spinning And on these roads – there’s no beginning For us A roundabout From which we’re sprinting Doubting thus The ending Still acting like We have no meaning There’s no trust For which we’re leaning
I haven’t cleaned my windows yet I’m sorry. And now there’s dirt on the windowsill. It started raining gently so I popped open the window and said “wake up” and gave it some of my spring water. I see a tiny piece of green.
Mystery seeds growing (day 2)
Day 2. Mystery plants. Potentially edible. I don’t know what I’m growing. So I reckon fucking it up won’t be the end of the world. I’ll still think it is. But first attempt at growing something. 🙂
You turn open doors to silence Great wide expanse Look how you guide us Galloping in advance
I still love you best
I wish you well like starlight I’m seeking tonight Kept my heart tied
The perfect existence The one I found you in But you’re so nihilistic There’s no room to win
I know how you lie Dressed in crown And agony Twisted thorn Of tragedy
You’re lost You don’t have identity Heavy cross A penalty Come walk with me
Is this how we soothe it Our love is prudent Somehow I’ll prove it Driving nail right through it
Old mixed with new Like promises overdue I don’t have a curfew Under you
Surfing too With parachute In full monsoon We rendezvous
Let me say with oath He wanted promises stretched out unto infinity And so the great expanse was his domain
I know how much you hate me Run around berate me Am I poison sumac The girl you couldn’t stomach? Would you block me if I cometh? Maybe create a covet?
Indestructible. It will not corrode, rust or tarnish, and fire cannot destroy it.
Our love like gold
Tornadoes form When you arrive Like thunderstorm Or thorn in side
Man can’t travel to the beginning, it’s forbid Moving backwards through time There’s always going to be a dead end
I followed the American gold trail all the way back to Japan. I had to “read more” “read more” visit “read more” and said number of times – to find the end trail.
Also – they tax gold A LOT and the government can confiscate it anytime they want
(I’d like to see them steal my nuggets tho for real, I’m unhinged)
(I don’t have any nuggets – it was an impossible dream)
So phones only last around 6 years
By the time I purchase one 3-4 years in – it’s 2-3 years from its final update
“How long will this iPhone last”
Can we go back to pagers and whatnot?
Dropping letters in the mailbox without any postage?
Knocking on the door and leaving notes
“Be back in 10minutes 1 hour”
Leaving packages on the door “sorry I missed yah”
Or, maybe stop charging so much for “the latest phone”
Journalism is crap these days – websites swarmed with ads eating your data – and now they want us to pay for the “free press”
Pay for the propaganda and lies – more than we already do
Other countries that adopted the “American dream” policies are tanking
Not only did the parents of GEN X not like us – they want to give our jobs to the millennials – they sold us out – and stole half our retirement without remorse
None of them care about the future
Sex content should be behind a paywall
“Must verify age”
They need to put triple black curtains up at Spencer’s
I don’t want to see “adult content” 24/7
WP is turning into the FB algorithms in terms of how people are putting out content and slipping in desensitizing content
GenX needs to band together and get a farm and ghost everyone else (kinda)
It won’t be until 2060 or so until the Boomers are all gone
I thought I’d get to live to see something cool like go to the moon – but all the boomers produce are LIES
Isn’t your poetry like a little headlamp in a damp, dark cave.
Thank you
(Please stop destroying everything and feed the birds and wildlife whatever you are eating)
I’ve decided to bond with a house spider who took residence in my bathroom in the corner of the sink
She was small – she growing
I told her I must relocate her at some point “due to fear”
For now, she’s soaking up the dew from my shower time
She fixed her little web of string connected to my pop up trash bin after instructed
She loves my hot showers
She’s an animal
There’s a lot of responsibility in her trust of me
I have arachnophobia
Apparently she’s a common Florida house spider
When I was a child, unsupervised, I wanted to see how long it would take the June bugs to “coat me” and when my mom came outside to check on me, I was standing still covered head to toe in June bugs
She said I was the devil
I would let granddaddy long legs crawl on me too
“Oh look another one, put him on me”
Now I see a bug and nearly die
So I dunno where my disconnect with nature happened (my boomer mom)
I would eat the scallions growing in the grass – unwashed
I drank water from the hose
The school made me swish with fluoride
They lined us up in the hall and made us drink some pink stuff
We weren’t allowed to wear advertising or “Black and proud” t-shirts to school
Our shorts and skirts had to be knee level
I weigh now what I weighed then – only now I got tiny tiddies
I just spent over $400 on a new phone 2 1/2 years ago – and now come September – final update
So no.
I’ll start blogging from the library computer or something
50% of my retirement savings – in the pockets of the boomers
They still don’t care about us and don’t plan on handing over the torch which is why they ghosted and gutted us –
Wait til more have a place to direct their anger (stop spending)
(Crucify them!?!)
I don’t think the purpose to life is death and destroy.
I need 5 million years to recover from the desolate desert you erupted from With a rapid loss of hope occurring
Who will write earth’s obituary The way you’ve written my hand And turned all to stone?
Do you honor the dead The way you immortalize impermanence? Disappearing without affliction Leaving dust on the door
I found you Right where I had left you Disorderly categorized
I am holy proud The sun lifted you from shade Made your skin burn Left a scar or two
You are a placemat for the sun to rise And if your words were the reason it rose Alighting will and aligning truth You are the golden valley where my love will grow
I’m looking to buy gold But my soul ain’t sold I’m the cusp of the threshold Like marigold Growing nearing my household It’ll manifold My portfolio Tenfold
Free speech and peace and quiet is a God given human right!!!!! These monsters have stolen basic decency! But I’m not allowed to discuss immigration or sex toys sold openly everywhere in America!!!! I’m censored!!!!! To discuss matters in group therapy making me suicidal!!!! Oh god, fuck you! Fuck “therapy”!
You should be fighting for free speech! Stop being a pushover! As a consumer, we should have some say how businesses are run! Too much waste! Stop destroying the rain forest and ocean!
I live in fight or flight mode, so my poetry never has time to sit on the shelf.
Lately, I’m trying to “play dead” and be in fawn mode. This is a legit strategy taught by the Army and used in the wild to bore the predators who want a “fresh meal” and “not dead meat”.
Just don’t let the elite cover you in “natural flavor”.
He’s a hypocrite if he eats that shit.
Furthermore, they put it in the cheap food and the organic food – it was made in a lab! It ain’t natural! Stop gaslighting!!!!!
Y’all dropping hundred dollar bills for foam shoes – that cause cancer.
I can’t even find small cotton panties and now I need XS potentially.
The sizing charts have changed and I’m elite being 110 pounds in America with roughly two out of three adults being overweight.
Yet, yesterday hanging out with squirrels and feeding them, the big kids were rolling their eyes at me – just like the overweight BLM female entering the mall –
We’ve been asking “do cellphone’s cause cancer” and they said everything but what we wanted to hear. Now when shopping for phones, they come with a cancer warning.
FYI
“Reproductive harm”
They’re nihilist’s destroying the world with synthetics and AI!
Black and Latino and Asian lives matter! But Native American and white lives don’t! Check the CENSUS!
And they identify as us!!! Laughs! Wait what!?!
The Great Race war is real – and Asia moving in on the news
The Great Replacement theory!
White man isn’t the only one corruptible or evil! He’s the pawn used in the whole game! By the Asians and yellow fever propaganda!
He yells at me to grow up and I cry that I never did
Men aren’t doing what they were originally programmed to do
I’ve been busy trying to save the world while they destroy it – I haven’t had a chance to work on me
America was sold out and topics are being censored in group therapy which means my free speech has been impeded upon, I will throw a fit and not participate (quit/disconnect the video call/walk out)
I draw lines
Sometimes I draw guns
Disabled not dead
Trigger happy
Able and capable
Don’t think I can play with the big toys yet – like my m16 – kickback
I got a girl / you want to meet her / her name is 9mm
Chill out. I talk to God daily. I’m just quarantined. I don’t want him to see me. It’s just a poem.
Baby squirrel brought a boy squirrel around. He had nuts. She’s maybe a few months old, him too. He’s timid and shy. Her pp did not have nuts. Now I’m not an expert on squirrel biology or anything – but she’s probably going to have babies.
They love whatever I feed them.
Lizard climbed the drain pipe to the roof, he also jumped and climbed the tall palm tree. I was amazed by lizard’s skills, not getting blown away by the wind, or eaten by a big bird
The neighbors think I’m wacko
I don’t think they can see the wildlife the way I do
Red bird has been appearing so I took her some seeds
They are eating my own personal organic stash of nuts, rice, seeds, all the things
Gonna make them some peanut butter treats soon – the butter with nuts n seeds rolled in balls. Just for them.
Nothing that I put out stays out
It’s foraged immediately
I like bonding with nature
But I have to deal with the hellhound now
He drains my energy like a black hole
I figured out how to put the blinds in such a way that I can see out too much – but you can’t see in from the sidewalk
Insects are animals – even those bugs we hate – I bet they were huge back in the day – but the elite love dropping bombs and depleting our o2 (and thus size)
New carpet arrived. It’s almost like moving but not.
I’ve learned to hate eating out
They reduce the size but charge you more
A tiny cup of ice for $3.99
A kid size
Two sips, gone
Cup o’ ice please for $4.50
I won’t be back
I yelled at the “boss” of the medicinal shop: “I’m quitting” and complained about the overuse of plastic and paper and waste. He replied “the government” and I yelled “I don’t give a fuck about the government”
I care about the rain forest and weed becoming the new plastic problem
Big Pharma and Big weed love to ruin our environment. Enough is enough!!! I will fight this addiction harder!!!!!!! I will not vote to legalize recreational and regret voting for medicinal. I will never vote again (my therapist says I’m polarized)
I tried to fire her but she wouldn’t go
I was like, I’m trying to quit weed
The state gave me an addiction with malicious intent and purpose
She said, “I’m in it for the long haul”
But what part of “I’m ready to jump from a bridge” or “escape society and disappear forever” is hard to understand?
I fucking talk to the Sun
I still want to look at it tho I’m not supposed to
“Not far enough down yet” (midday wearing prescribed tints mind you)
Then I researched why I need to get a look
And learned Galileo nearly went blind taking a peek at the sun with a telescope and no filter – he never quite recovered
In hindsight it’s like duh but otherwise I get it, I do dumb shit like that
I’ve always wanted to look through a telescope but I’m an invasive frog eating stage 2 food for 17 years, until I get stuck in my environment. I would have looked at the sun too, no filter, gone blindish.
But why do I want to stare at it? Just let me have a look!!!!
I’ve never seen the moon through a telescope
I’m never speaking to another man again
You stole my life
My fitness/stretching room
I’m having nightmares about the dog going on the floor.
He’s on house arrest and not allowed anywhere – but enjoys his walks more and time on my bed instead of his crib – which isn’t bad.
It’s either follow the rules or the death warrant is being signed – I mean the “dying on a good day”.
He wants to live to 12. He’s trying.
But he ain’t allowed anywhere. I’m having fucking nightmares. Just need a clean space. I even cleaned the trim and walls (easier than painting).
My cheap curtains from Aldi are hanging up with tape until I get proper hardware
Sometimes I want to move into my fitness room. And the living room is barren. I donated/trashed/sold everything (95%).
4 pack of nightlights on clearance was cheaper than 1 tiny candle – and it also has improved my mental health.
Who knew it took the dog not pissing on the carpet
Not to mention, the carpet was old and outdated and not like the showroom unit. I fought so hard to get the carpet replaced!
I start group therapy soon and my therapist is censoring what I’m allowed to talk about “in group” FYI.
So, the one person who was participating in group therapy will now attend but not really participate, FYI.
I’m trying to get in a mental and physical state where I can work from home – and luckily programs exist for me to attempt this.
At the state and federal level for veterans.
I don’t have a desktop computer, my phone is broken and there’s not enough space to update and it’s too hard to delete photos in a main album and I don’t want 5g and despite buying and spending hundreds of dollars on both a new phone and refurbished MacBook Air – the phone and laptop are no longer compatible and I’m not dropping thousands of dollars every 2 years to upgrade my devices. I’m done!!!
WordPress is dead and the only reason it has active users or X amount of the network is because universities and students now use it and businesses. They don’t need us.
The charts do show WP declining
They basically acted like Instagram and Twitter and sold-out and the users who made it what it was were punished
We said we didn’t like the Block editor, it was forced on us anyway! Surprise!
I don’t want to jump from platform to platform.
I was humiliated at the previous carpet – and though I wouldn’t let God eat from my kitchen, he could walk on my floor now. And sleep (like me).
I’d rather not have carpet at all – but new modern clean carpet has improved my mental health – despite the nightmares.
I also dropped $15 for a cotton mop and I hope it doesn’t break when I give it some “elbow grease”. Apparently people just push dirt around…
Walmart has become too expensive to shop from and hopefully the handle doesn’t give me cancer – everything else sold there has a cancer warning
The candles there are poison
Like the food and exercise equipment
My Jeep is having problems again and I gotta tell my girl goodbye
I think the mechanics are fucking with her though – with malicious intent and purpose
Having a car is too expensive these days – thought I could enjoy one after spending 6 years paying her off. Apparently not. These monsters are obsessed with the latest model and will force you into slavery of every kind.
My fucking small clothes are baggy on me.
I like having the windows open and the light shining through
I kept all 3 mirrors and opted to put the 2 in my fitness room
They have wire to hang – but alas on the floor they remain
I spent thousands of dollars on beds over the years – never really enjoyed one more than 2 months. Surprisingly, my spine likes the clean floor.
This carpet is a lighter color too, and my lease was renewed.
The neighbors hate me more now (updated carpet).
I’m making 2 ingredient cookies soon. My first time. Of course, I’ll add flax and oats and loads of other ingredients (but sugar, no sugar) so they will be more than “2 ingredients” in the end.
But peanut butter and eggs are all you need (to make “sugar free”)
I’m adding unsweetened coconut flakes, oats, flax, white chocolate, peanuts, and probably other proteins. Crunchy peanut butter sugar free cookies (experimental first try)
Should I create an Instagram to “socialize”? I’m not very good at it (autistic) but am trying to be a good humanz.
I take pictures of carpet and squirrels.
New carpet in my space! (Living room)
And I want to grow lots of plants – so will use free non GMO seeds from the seed library at the local hub. I will do my best to minimize costs of startup. Plants help you breathe.
I think going into hiding is best.
What do you think?
Dining room carpet replaced! Mental health boost!
I have a place I rent / but it’s not really where I live / a city of cement / regret, prayer, lament
Hi. My name is Delia. I follow/unfollow blogs. Sometimes I’m afraid to follow at all (even tho I want to). My comments are usually rude. I’m in therapy. K, thanx bye.
For instance, yesterday while waiting at a very long stop light on beach street, this immigrant was walking around half-dressed with a baby stroller, he crossed the crosswalk and I yelled “pedophile” (because I’m calling every man I see this now apparently – but especially him) and he looked back, so I yelled louder.
The light still wouldn’t change.
I noticed the car beside me also had their window down/cracked
I was like, “He shouldn’t be alone with a baby” and she laughed and cried, “I know”
I stated, “I don’t normally do that but no man should be alone with a baby” in which she responds again with “I know” and mentions how he was dressed
(It’s summer but every man acts as if they own the world, women are fed up yeeeee)
We got to continue our back-and-forth manhating for at least another 30 seconds or more until the light finally turned and I reluctantly said I had to go
There was a cop ahead at the oncoming light but I still had thoughts of “gasing” my vehicle or honking him rudely as he passed
I behaved but then the body screamed PEDOPHILE and he acknowledged and the car next to me concurred (more than once)
I gotta get out of this city, this town, these people, these policies
I continue to assess my “mental health”, and stay in the now, the cars read ROUGE
I wholeheartedly agree, it’s time
5 monster men just kidnapped an older lady, FBI put out a reward, she’s dead
The news have not reported this, it’s just something I feel
The same way I knew my sister was dead before she died
And all it took was a text from my half-sister, “she’s in the hospital with COVID” and I replied “she’s gonna die”
I didn’t go say goodbye
She died
I had a big ole blood clot and blown left lung – from the deathcare system, and was heading no where near a hospital and never will again
I would get arrested, keep me the fuck away from that god damn Satan house
BE GONE
And stop casting spells on me, they only empower me more
The mirrors are nearly gone, I potentially found a owner for the pair I got
MARK BURGESS is swine and the curse will unfold in time
The Last One of Us is not just a game
I’ve not played it – but according to research, “the elites were plagued with parasites” and there’s a super fungas strain plaguing California (where MB hangs)
FYI
The CDC are blaming “the wind”
Yeah sure and he’s an immigrant from the UK
Well, I’ve no idea his green card status or his whereabouts or whatifs
I dream of justice, real justice
Swift and remorseless
It’s not a sin
Eye for eye
My heart is feeling good enough to kickbox a face or two
Encouraging seeing big boy swim in hurricane swells — I’m learning to tame my own demons – albeit not well
Because I wound up at the park – letting every man know he was either a pedophile in love with a prostitute or “another motherfucker who thinks he owns the world”
One looked up and I instructed him to call the cops cuz it’s the only time I ever “feel anything”
No cops came.
Shame.
Too tiny. Gonna get shot or kidnapped (I’ll rip your hand and dick off)
KEEP 10 FEET BACK
I might finally be getting to see the lung doctor – after nearly blowing my lung out April 2021
Some boy I don’t really know but had a dream about when I was like 8 and he was perhaps still growing in-womb (not mine, eww) – saved my life – kinda
Because he was “kinda there” with his own selfish needs but was apparently everything I needed in moment, because he dumped loads of chemicals into me, which maybe kept my heart from stopping
I was in so much pain
My heart was having mini pre heartquakes – like heart attack – would actually need medical help if my electrical output continued leaning in that way
I literally could not breathe (and have developed new ways of coping as I have a heart condition now)
Furthermore, they may not tell you this per say, but those with heart inflammation are at risk for Adult Sudden Death Syndrome, and so I’m not out of the woods yet, as I can’t do anything that causes elevation spikes in my heart (adrenaline rushes, or even stress/anger) though I can rebound now on my gravity fitness trainer, and mine is made with special straps, not bungee cords, and I finally found more made in those style and hope to upgrade soon
I’m quite bonded with my squeaky trainer and was gonna use it til it had no life left
My body is ready for a new trainer – a tighter pad – maybe smaller too (I think mine is 36 inch)
Men: “women haven’t contributed anything to society and are only good for childbearing or serving me”
Me: I don’t want your fucking electricity
And I’m nearly tired of the $100 oil changes
$5 oil change, 10 minutes
I argued about inflation and maths and economics in college
I knew globalization was bullshite
I wasn’t for it but the would sell the propaganda and the kids ate it up
Evolution theory is bullshit
I’ve been reading books on quantum physics – Cox and his clocks, y’all are delusional pedophile nihilist and NASA is a fraud – stop taxing me
Neil Armstrong never spoke to anyone from the moon, it was recorded on earth, they had no communication towers according to NASA, the moon landing’s were rehearsed, with a fucking Hollywood director, wake fucking up
Women please especially – now before I wind up a statistical
93% of all murders happen by men (their punishment getting lighter while ours gets worse)!!!!
We’re in a 6th mass extinction!
That’s why 500 whales washed ashore, the bombs they keep setting off in our oceans!!!!! Hello!!!!!!!!!! Science is fun!!!!!!!!
Imperialism. Imagine unplugging from the great machine as a Soldier, I’ve come undone!!!!
And now they wanna lock us up for destroying us with malicious intent and purpose!!!
Some vet just murdered his 3 young children – took everything from his ex wife – who left him a key to her home – he shot his children sleeping in their bed
You’re all monsters!!!
They’re selling dicks at the mall in front of children!!!! And online at Walmart in the health and wellness!!! Why you shopping there? Everything is cancer!!!! Read the labels!!!!
We go to war with our neighbors and then let them come live here!!!!! They hate us!!!!!! CMON!!!
White slavery! The Great Replacement theory is real!!! I’m part of the 244!!!
Do you know who I am pedo!!!!!
God is very real and gracious and angry!!!!!!
Mother earth deserves more!!!!
I hate it here!!!! This civilization you claim you created because women are useless!
Fuck you! You wouldn’t be here without us!!!!!
You’re pissed about it!!!
The Developer!!!! Ha ha charade you are!!!
The Great Filter is real! It’s you!!!!!!
I can smell your stench like Agent Smith!!!!
I don’t trust a Chinaman in my country or a white boy or BLM or Latino lives matter – took all our jobs!!!!!!
I’d love to get back to an ethical job but none exists!
Stop asking for my email or digital identity!!!
I’ve sold my TV, the propaganda machine!
And tho my expensive Apple devices aren’t very old, they’ve forced us outdated, I’m not buying again
I don’t love you!!!! Or your society!!!
WordPress sold out!!! It’s all daily prompt in the feed!
I got rid of everything I own!!!!
I’m ready to dawn a robe!!!!
I don’t know how I’m reaching out to you with a brain, heart, lung injury – plus a curse
But alas miracles!!!!!!!!!!
I’m sorry for my weird behavior – it’s just the Matrix is broken, I’m gonna keep not complying!!!!!!
Morrison wanted to fuck/kill his parents and ghosted them
Father Jim
I sold all my vinyl
I tossed out things that I thought had monetary value in the bin
Many I donated or gave away
Some I sold for a quarter knowing I paid extra for the bonus disc and features, but in the end, it’s worth was obsolete
I’m not jumping from platform to platform for the developers who have yellow fever and think they are gods
Fuck social media – it destroyed the fabric of eveything
Our economy
And porn and its filthy consumers
This boy of young teenage age was staring at me in a sexual way, I snarled my lip
In an alternate universe, there is a sinister version of me, cutting of dicks, and leaving little smily faces on the walls – cuz no one has discovered my identity
🙂
So… if I dream of casting spells on someone who entered my life – then let me hang a horseshoe from my door
The same these scientists don’t believe in God but do a blackhole
It is increasingly hard to listen to the dribble of super religious freaks, knowing many are atheists themselves but push it on us anyway
Do this, do that!!!
I don’t really believe Asia was/is the most advanced species anymore
They are our number one threat and should fear the bery ground they walk on here
Here a demon, there a demon, I’m gonna expose you
I hope I settle down soon, the new carpet arrives Tuesday
I’m still focused on healing, spiritually, mentally, physically, financially (they did steal thousands of my retirement during the pandemic while I was disassociating, FYI)
I lost at least half
But those who took it were traveling to exotic locations during the pandemic – buying luxury phones and cars – with my retirement money
JFC
*insert slang*
But then, they cry “Asian hate”
It’s burns a bit deeper than that
I don’t think hate describes what is growing in me
No one ever says they wanna be an elite serial something when they grow up
People who write things like, “those who say they don’t like money but go work an 8 hour job” don’t consider that being homeless is an actual crime
Born into money, never struggled a day in their life
Don’t know hardship
Gotta incite riots to feel anything
Dead inside
Weak spirits
Lost souls
Dead man drowning
Perhaps I the same
I like feeling and seeing the sun rise and fall everyday
I appreciate how happy the wildlife are when I feed em
They tell us not to feed the wildlife but then capture and enslave these intelligent beautiful creatures for our entertainment and sell their teeth for luck
Parasites – narcissism is a plague
Nihilist
That’s all they are
And all me and the white girl can do is laugh about the insanity of it all
I can’t keep yelling and screaming pedophile, I’ll wind up in a swamp or freezer
That’s already a fear because they follow me out of places I shop, they stalk me, because I’m cute to them
I wish my ear would stop ringing
Need out the city
Helps
The crime is so bad where I live
And it’s being gentrified, just like WP
The CEO has yellow fever
P.S. you never needed to block me cuz you never added my number (I hate you)
(It wasn’t even your main two lines)
Last in, first out
Woot
I’ve met a lot of boys but none looked like the boy I dreamed about nor do any make my heart/brain/pp do what you make it do
Don’t make me delete my blog
Some lines I’m too afraid to cross – but do so erratically
She took the house and kids – probably cuz he was bad – but loved him and let him keep a key – probably to see the kids anytime he wanted – so he took everything from her – killed the kids and himself
But go ahead and blame gun laws and everything but what is to blame…
Keep puffing on my house motherfucker…
It ain’t even my house and I’m paying more than a mortgage – another problem man made