poetry – Page 5 – PoeEternal

Posted on March 19, 2023March 19, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Prayers from purgatory

Father,
There’s almost nothing left
My sister is dead
I’m bereft
Sick in the head
Near out of breath
Want money in the bulkhead

Compartments upon compartments
Secret dirty pockets

Here I sit
Here I remain
Losing grip
Can’t change the game

Mirror mirror on the wall
Reflecting curse
And where I fall
Fuck you all

Bonds come in many forms
Like my love
It comes in swarms
Electronic storms

Investments
Feels like I’m restless
I’m vested
Better than arrested

I thought investment always meant high-risk / cutting at my wrist

If a paper bond is lost, stolen, destroyed or otherwise mutilated, a replacement electronic bond can be requested.

“MUTILATED”
The wife called aggravated
Divorce threatened
Says husband is hated!

New purchase
But it won’t help my purpose
I’m worthless

Late bloomer?
But don’t be discouraged
Blame the Boomer’s

Forced obsolescence
And second guesses
Year-long stresses
Everything depresses

Secular science / sleeping lion’s / full of compliance \

My nutritionist complains that spring water “has no calories” but I get cranky when it takes me 3 days and several stores later to find it

Florida and Texas have parasites in the water – and if we can’t wash our face with it – so it won’t get up yer nose – I checked – the ear canal is also a route – but then I would think the eye

Sylvia Plath LIED

I gotta start boiling my water to bathe

If your houseplants are dying, stop feeding them tap water. Pro tip.

I’m still 110 pounds – despite eating a shit ton of mostly vegetarian food – and not rebounding for a solid week.

Kept eating like a pig – nope can’t gain any weight

Getting back to rebounding tho – just been deep down wallowing and trying to fatten up

My heart is obsessed with rebounding tho – the carpet still hasn’t been replaced but it’s still March and time is awful slow

Also me: I’m running out of time

I don’t have an ounce of patience after wasting my 20s & 30s

I cry so much

You’re off chasing rainbows where the rain won’t shine
You’ll love in time
My hand is aging
Like hope is tied
Sun leans in raging
Petrified

My love,
In the universe, spheres aren’t really spheres
Innocuous
Joy reflect as fears
Lingering
Like how you disappear
You are gone –
So how are you here?

I’m not marriage material
I’m grounds for divorce
I’ll stick to my high horse

GARAGE SALE:
Please buy my things
I overspent
I’ll overprice it
It’s not magnificent

If it’s Made in China
I’ve gotten rid of it
The entire toolkit
Sent it back to orbit
Omitted
Ejected from the cockpit
Calling bullshit
Burn it in the pit
Claim counterfeit
Propaganda lightening skin hypocrite
Brown-nosing misfit
Yellow fever transmit
I’m sick of it

Weakened
Lost spirit
Gifts?
Forget it
Remorse?
Acquitted

I come without bond
Broken
Look inside
Heart ain’t coping

Like leaping ledge
Just barely hoping
Your foot will land
With surface sloping

Opposition disappearing
Dangerous dictatorship
Communist country
I’m growing hungry
Purposeful spread the virus
I read in silence

The holes stop healing when you die
Like all feeling disappearing
After you cry

Dear Mother,
You are cold war.
And Father, your mentor.
Though coldness, speak no more.

Father,
You are ice age
Swimming in the current
Of my full rage
Father, you are first plague

Mother,
You are cold war.
A six foot hole I am searching for.
Like a backdoor.

And father’s picture? An eyesore.

Postscript: Mirrors hold negative energy and the creams I was using cause “spots or burns” and I cry so much seeing myself in the mirror that I’ve now moved all mirrors from my bedroom, intend to get rid of or cover the others, am not allowed to wash my face with tap or shower water, per official government guidelines, and the cream I was using to not weather in the sun, in fact, made me weather in the sun, and so bottles are being thrown out, mirrors destroyed, tears finding unholy ground. But I’m still collecting seeds from the seed library (I’m half-alive hoarding dreams).

I wasn’t scared, I was sick.

And I’m still fighting off the devil.

And the urge of mass murder and suicide.

Have you seen the amount in the news?

Also, The Great Replacement theory is real.

I fell deeper in hell.

Two banks have been shut down.

I’ve stopped disassociating (and looking in the mirror).

I’m superstitious and see demons everywhere.

I need him to contact me.

Never mind the blocks (for his own protection)

Brian Cox is a pedophile faggot and – in his very own words – called a 38 year old man “old”.

He loves a brilliant young mind

Men hate women or anything natural or God like and are obsessed with their own creations such as AI, lab made cats and dogs, and say women have done nothing to contribute to society and are only good for childbearing

According to current studies, most married men want love with a prostitute (gag) (throws up in mouth)

I literally daydream of leaping off a bridge and that ain’t right

Fuck everything

Fuck you

I’ll be back at the library collecting seeds cause it fits in with my goals and values

I’m drifting buddy

*cries*

America is collapsing

I’m not racist but simultaneously hate everyone (unless good)

(I’m barely good)

(Hate self)

Pro tip: mirrors cause negative self-image and hold negative energies. Get rid of them. Stop looking. Now go off and be a good witch.

Happy cursing

I’m casting one soon on so-in-so

A tiny box with a mirror and his name sealed with a burnt black candle buried in the swamp

Because he hasn’t died yet (MB)

I’m undoing the curse from birth on…

Hear, hear!

Posted on March 13, 2023March 13, 2023 by poeeternal

Water from the hose

Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.

I used to drink water from the hose
How I’m alive nobody knows 
Or God, has the ratios 
I’m full of lead from head to toes 
Line my deathbed with black rose

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.

Posted on March 13, 2023 by poeeternal

From Hell (poetry)

I’m wailing
Climbing walls
Jumping halls
Blackmailing
Tell God I’m sailing
Direct from hell to heaven
Breaking spells
Inhaling
Predicting lies prevailing
The Devil got me detailing
And if you’ve done it
I’m telling
Double dare you
I’m yelling

Postscript: (beware)

I downloaded the JetPack cuz I’m tired of fighting the current.

But my bank pulled some shady shite today and I’m ready to bury my money.

Shit like where you can only use the app now to upload a check and automatically enrolling me into Bill Pay when I clicked on “learn more”.

The app was uninstalled but then you can’t use the check deposits feature or check your check deposits via the website (I’m tired of being forced to use an app or automatically signed up for things just for learning more)

But buried cash doesn’t earn interest

But I don’t trust the banks

Now would be a good time to drop recommendations on where to stash your cash (like a checking and savings)

I looked up the top ten worst banks – I mean the Federal reserve just took down a bank.

It’s hard to get a handle on my paranoia these days – and it don’t help when folks are always calling the cops on you.

Does someone want to gift me a paper bond? I need one for my 50th.

I suddenly have goals to live to see my 50th – and enjoy it – with a big lump sum of cash.

And so I’ve prayed to God, “I’m saving for my future. My 50th.”

I probably only have a few seconds left but I’m bargaining.

I cry and ache so much.

But maybe, if I am alive, in say, 6 ish years, I could celebrate.

Anyhoo, I’m already invested into that plan – I started this very month.

Even nearly dead, I’m planning for my future

(I hope it involves my own yard to plant these seeds I’ve started hoarding)

And then this happened… and now I’ve lost all hope

The Chinese must have got ahold

It’s a gamble saving for your future when you’re already dead

I can’t believe I got this fucking death jab – I hate the medical system with everything I have

Banks are collapsing

Governments are beyond corrupt

Have you seen the amount of murder/suicide lately?

They say we can’t wash our face with tap water anymore.

And I was stupidly here and there snorting tap water up my sinuses like a dummy – after blowing my nose or something – putting a drop on my finger – I ain’t the brightest crayon in the box

But a man in Florida recently died from a brain eating amoeba doing a tap water sinus rinse

They say drinking the water is fine – but don’t shower with your face in the water, don’t wash your face with tap water but drinking it is just fine

And I had just washed my face in the shower – with the tap getting all over – mouth closed – cuz earlier reports said stop showering with your mouth open

But a kid died from a splash park

And now – a man – rinsing his nose with water

DEAD

So stop washing your face with tap water (per official guidelines)

I guess we gotta start boiling the water before we bathe

At this point, I’m afraid to brush my tooth

I had a splash of shower water get in my nose – had a headache all night – panicked – said this is it

I ain’t dying in a hospital

Only 4 folks survived a brain eating parasite – and that kid that died at the splash park – well the employees were quietly quitting and not cleaning the water properly or documenting it

None of these official employees or states or governments ever get in trouble for the shit they do

Like that mass murder suicide in 2018 with the lesbian couple and 6 blm kids – the youngest jumped from a 2 story building and begged the neighbor not to go back

She should have ran far away (bless her heart, she tried so hard) (the state stood by and let her get murdered) (all of them)

Drove off a cliff

No escape

Locked in…

State murder lots of folk scotch free

Apparently, those who play by the rules are the mark

I’m coming to terms with that

I hate all these “new changes” as if it’s in our favor, benefiting us

It’s not

I made coconut cake

It’s a meal and a treat in one

Flax, and oats, and pumpkin seeds

Eggs, coconut milk, coconut flakes

Topped it with lots of oats and seeds as well (not just in the mix)

Anyhoo

The world is ending but I made cake

Slice?

Seriously, do not wash your face with tap water…

(At this point living near an active volcano may be safer than living with this government)

(Some crushed pineapple in the batter would have made this cake divine)

Posted on March 4, 2023March 5, 2023 by poeeternal

Silver and Copper (poem)

Silver and copper
My favorite topper
Wounds and blood and pauper
Jumping cracks like leafhopper 

Blackened skin maybe monster 
Bridges burning over water
Flying high helicopter
He never loved her

Posted on March 3, 2023March 3, 2023 by poeeternal

Torch (poem)

You hold distance like a torch
The sun is setting
I’m watching from my porch
The devil betting
But time has run its course

Sidenote: I still don’t know who or what I am.

Posted on March 3, 2023 by poeeternal · 1 Comment

Regret (poem)

I regret crawling into that cave
Claw marks where I engrave
Rage like a heatwave
Headlamp won’t light the way
I rest here today

I don’t want wifi anymo

It’s got to go

More seeds for the dream yard

They are non GMO so I don’t have to burn them

Also scored a free book (limited supply) from the library

Unfortunately, despite NASA being a great joke, The Martian is still a favorite film (minus the gay hollywood music)

I don’t know what I’m allowed to have in life, or keep

Like why am I hoarding seeds and dreams?

And can things grow at Yellowstone? (Pro)

Will I accidentally boil myself in a hotspring? (Con)

Land near Yellowstone is cheap (pro)

But it’s also near a volcano (con) (unless maybe you’re suicidal!?!) (tbd)

Cheap land comes at a cost huh

So does visiting your old url

~~Fuck you~~

Posted on March 1, 2023 by poeeternal

Gravity (poem)

The moon gives me tilt
Seasonal travesty
Without any guilt
Go stand on her
I will give you lip

I should be sleeping. I’m not.

You got plans to go back to the moon in a decade huh. Gonna take ten years to manipulate the data/crowd.

Besides, April 2029 / the final time

Apophis is probably just an atom bomb

We probably bombed the moon

We probably bombed Mars

They can’t stop bombing earth

I’m probably closer to the truth than you are to standing on the moon

NASA is a scam

Stop taxing me

I can’t wait for the space shuttle to crash into our beautiful ocean – destroying sealife

It isn’t “in space” it’s “free falling earth’s gravity”

Fuck you

Posted on March 1, 2023 by poeeternal

Directed (poetry)

A purchase has been scheduled / directed by the devil / but nothing I can’t handle

The United States / a nation of immigrants / minus the Native’s they enslaved to get it

Dear Father
Please respond
It’s a matter of death
I’m overcome

But I’ll push the latter
While falling off the ladder
Which one will matter
I’m growing madder

From seconds to 40k / I want my own driveway

Seed collection

I’m saving more than copper and silver, fuck you.

Tell God I’d like some place far from here to grow them.

This is hell. I wanna plant these babies somewhere else.

Even tho, they could be grown in the windowsill.

This.Is.Hell.

Help.

I hate how expensive it is to do anything. I hate the boomers.

There are things I don’t hate.

Seeds. Sunshine. Shade. Spring water. Nuts. Squirrel. Pretty bird. Crow.

I once liked having a job too. I’m considering remote work.

I’ve lost my mind but still have a Bachelor degree. Whatever that means.

I hope remote work.

Otherwise engaging at a sit down job at Aldi sounds potential.

“You plan on tossing him on the grill”

“Yum”

I’m sick of chasing my tail inside the deathcare health system

I ain’t better yet

But I’m sick of sitting around waiting to die

Working the movie ticket booth sounds ideal – weekends and weird hours no one wants.

Also me: I can’t fucking breathe

But I got my 20 minute rebound session in – getting fit with gravity

The rent is paid. They are dicking me around about my carpet “more time”

M’kay but calling the Health Department soon and whoever else I gotta…

I gotta download another app to do anything huh

Jetpack? A filter ontop a filter ontop a filter

Please no more

I don’t want to grow my seeds here

I don’t want to live here

I don’t want to die here

I’m sick of being sick

All woe ~~is me~~

But I had a multigrain bagel with cream cheese and avocado for brunch (groceries from home) with hot chocolate and some sort of milk with probiotics but no lactose and yum

I am trying to get fat

109 pounds currently

(Steel abs, peachy peach)

(Looking zombie in the face)

(Need him)

Land near Yellowstone is cheap (pro)

But it’s near a volcano (con)

Flip a coin?

I do like my investor inbox, FYI

I want my own business cleaning shit no one else wants to do

“Phew that was rough but we got 3 bags done”

“High five”

Like I wanna help people who are nearly dead and dying – not die

I need purpose

Which isn’t working 3 jobs to pay the electric rent insurance

There’s verifiable proof immigration makes the rental and housing market increase

I’m not getting anything out of being alive

When every dime goes to keeping afloat

Posted on March 1, 2023March 1, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Tasteless (poem)

I had to make order of the chaos
By getting rid of it
Crying lots and a little bit
Putting dying on hiatus
Changing energy from stasis
Burning bridges and first basis
I’m the best at tasteless

I know you’re out there. ~~I know~~ you still love me.

The furniture was removed for free yesterday.

I was grateful and humiliated at the same time.

I wish I had offered him more than a protein treat for reward.

He took the treat.

I wish he would have taken my humiliation with him out the door. But alas, it remains with me.

There is nothing here but broken dreams and damaged carpet.

I am but a shell.

Crawling back to theta mode

I hate it here

This manmade infected environment full of natural flavor and narcissism

I know you’re in love with a prostitute

Did you know the government makes money from prostitution and most porn is made in California and Nevada made prostitution legal and our doors are open to immigration 24/7 and there is a direct link to sex trafficking and prostitution

I get called a “manhater”

The place is empty of life or longing.

Dogs and cats are not native to the environment

Just wanna see earth win

White people should be on the endangered species list – check the census

Glad Black Lives Matter are the only one who matters

Posted on February 13, 2023 by poeeternal

Struts and Shocks (poem)

I’m struts and shocks / your heart tied in knots / his equinox / if I’m there or not \

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.

Postscript

He said I had some seconds left in my tires, I said, well, what does that mean?

He said, “they ain’t got any life left”

I said, well, how much is that gonna cost me?

(You know, everything)

They took good care of her, cleaned up my brakes – got off the rusty business. I’m uninstalling the step up bars next stop, getting the spark plugs and tires replaced.

Eventually, the shocks and struts.

Could I sell her for the pretty penny CarMax offered me? Sure. I could sell or trade her in for a “younger model”.

But it’s Valentines, we’ve been together since 10K miles, I’m not ghosting her or leaving her in this hellhole (please God, we want out)

You seen Thelma and Louise? We’re together til the end. Potentially.

Hopefully not such a dramatic ending but I daydream of it.

Fantasize about ending my life.

Don’t want her to be a casualty of war driving off a cliff

Apparently when you take your ride into the shop, if you say things like “she’s a good girl”, “she just hit 76k”, “she’s making squeaky noises”, – they will assign more value to your ride, as my technician was still tweaking her, even after he drove her around to the front, he was on the ground, tool in hand.

I said, “can we get rid of that thang” and honestly, it wasn’t even installed correctly (so Pep Boys will be removing my step-up underbar next visit, no charge).

Struts are likely third in line for install – but poem written anyway.

I was like “can the rust be cleaned next visit” not realizing he already took care of that – as they were spic and span heading to the car (it’s an SUV)

Maybe, today instead of coming to work, and hating your job, you appreciate and value it instead, happy customer means more business – and not because you did something shady – but now you can relax knowing hooker income is incoming

Simply for doing your job and being proactive

He went above and beyond – or did his job – to the BEST of his ability – instead of quietly quitting

But there was no tip jar

There was no option to tip

I hope to hell God let’s me escape here

It’s good to have goals in hell

Some of the savings was depleted but that’s what the savings is for…

Right?

That’s why there’s 4 different saving pots to pull from.

I’ve decided I’m heading to GameStop to sell the ps4. Whatever the offer is – give it fucking to me.

I gotta replenish the gold at the end of the rainbow

I ain’t even got a TV

And even when I did, the sucker stayed turned off six months

That fucking propaganda box cost me everything

I haven’t renewed my lease so

Turned in all my library books – not wasting any more miles driving to that gorgeous dump

The sun was burning me through the window and I was asking/praying was I “doing the right thing”

“Should I be here, replacing my drive train belt”

I feel like I gotta escape a black hole…

Tires and spark plugs next

If God will may…

Make way for the Great Escape

To where?

A fucking homeless shelter cuz have you seen the price of lodging these days!?!?

$2k per month for extended stay

Or $2k for an acre of land and free sunshine

Fuck you

Posted on February 13, 2023February 13, 2023 by poeeternal

Eat (poetry)

I could eat contempt / wrap it with lament / file it tax exempt / yell “god damnit” / my brain will forget / I haven’t cared yet \

Searching for you in typeface / underlines / and heartbreak / happiness is our stake / a gamble we should take \

A thousand miles from nowhere / I want to go there / ask God there’s hope where \

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.

Posted on February 12, 2023February 12, 2023 by poeeternal

Wish (poem)

I wish he would bed me / take me down the aisle / then fucking wed me / I wanna get heavy / not fucking buried / I wanna get married

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.

Posted on February 12, 2023February 12, 2023 by poeeternal

Bloody Valentine’s (poetry)

This comment is hate filled / a sinkhole / for you to build.

There’s likely bloodstains in the carpet / bloodstreams of my target / am I the carcass?

He shot her in her wedding dress / but love her / he’d never confess.

Father / they’ve all chosen sin / and I’m sinking / in quicksand.

Hey Sun,

How did you rise?
With light in eyes?
Is there time to shine?

Hey Sun,

Am I alright?
The peerless moonlight
Will we unite?

(Love you forever)

Postscript

*do something / act abnormal to run your blog readers off*

*insert insanity here*

*program successfully installed*

I got John hanging in front of me, and dear Edgar in my rearview, in a puff of smoke, just loving the 10k hand I have drawn.

Werd.

I could use a real hand getting the apartment prepped to be stripped of this danky old carpet, and replaced with some fresh skin (lighter color too)

Don’t even know if I’m staying

LAUGHS

Immortally insane

Running through my vein

Edgar wants me to pick up a typewriter and get off this broken iPhone

I knew the phone was subject to break – but alas – even with these cursive powers – I did nothing to stop its fall

Oh shittte, it broke more than I thought

BABE

Fuck Apple, it’s a 6, I’m done selling shit – and jump off a bridge

But there’s poisoned sweet potato pie in the fridge

There is indeed, God bless, we’re gonna learn to make a healthy pie, but for now, poisoned pie for Valentine

*squee

Postnote: I ignored all the ingredients when I saw the price marked down to $2.50 with a date of 2/15. Said, “you’re coming with me”

But for real tho, don’t buy the pie

(It’s poisonous)

(You die, I die – but we’re not together, Romeo)

P.S.S.S?? Been rebounding my ass off (the rebounder fitness – resistance training – getting fit with gravity – weeee)

I’m two scenes on repeat currently – in my favorite film – Made in Heaven (1987?)

The one where he’s tossing his drink in the mirror / laying in the road screaming to God / Emmet “as himself” AND

Her, crying in public on the street – she got arrested too – dark days ahead

Welp.

GOD: if you don’t find each other, you’ll both be miserable

God: there’s no guarantee you’ll come back

Me: YOU TOOK MY LIFE

The roses are dying / cuz I’m done trying / the crow is black / his heart tarmac

*insert another copyright here*

I wore a t-shirt to the medical clinic once – with Poe on it – and the technician asked if it was Hitler

Millennial or GENZ

I sighed and said “Poe”

“Kind of a popular stash then tho, huh…”

“Hitler”

*makes awkward attempt to continue on with life wearing such an offensible shirt*

(Wonders if others mistake Him for Hitler too)

*creepily laughs

These motherfuckers are in charge

*nearly chokes on the air

*tries not to die*

And in a more recent attempt at “getting out and socializing”

I ordered food – through a drive thru

It wasn’t busy – I had time to count my cash – fuck the elite – you wanna be a cashless society and track me huh – fuck you – cash everywhere or boycott

Him (another Millennial/GenZ): why did you give me so much money!?!? *looks at me stumped like I’m stupid

Me: what do you mean!?!? *looks confused / haz brain injury / why am I so stoopidd

…well, I, gave you MORE to get the big bills back…

Him: *clearly confused – counts the money – proceeds to hand me a ten back, a five, and some silver.

So apparently I’m not stupid. Just pre- computer age.

I once had to work at registers where you needed to know basic math – to count change back

Remember when they upgraded the register to tell you the change back

MY GOD they made us beg and groggle for those jobs!!!!!!

“Don’t discuss your income in the workplace”

FUCK YOU

I mean, Happy Valentine

Burn in hell

*insert shitty photo of me here

I don’t want to see myself in the mirror – or on my blog currently – tho I haz space now

I wants new blog

*stomps feet*

I wants better home

*if I buy the land / will you buy the home?

Tell me, I need to know!!!!

A rose garden / an iron fence / him dressed in darkness / at my defense / our first kiss / give me this

Posted on February 11, 2023February 11, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Attic (poetry)

I have gluten free parts / unless you count my farts.

I run my visitors off / like a cap I’m twisting off / Kiss them with scoff /but first to read their blog.

Sweet kiss of oblivion – heart like obsidian.

I gave him my love / still he / tossed it in the mire / made me walk on fire / like I’m some liar.

Why would he love a dead red sea / is that what I’m becoming / is there good in me?

Left behind
But forced to go on
Through the grime
Delete my life
Rearrange the pie
Crunch time

He’s interested in the context
Not the poetry but my point next
He gets into the prospect
What makes me sad
What I detest
He’s like a mirror what I reflect

I woke up with money, and I mean a lot;
Unless you think ten grand is not.

In the far recesses of your heart, moving forward and backward feel the same

If you’re gonna reset the deck
Don’t write the check
Force your hand instead
Erase the bet
Need savings to your neck

Montana
Mountains
Call of the wild
Throw a dart
I’ll drive there

God recalled
Every little sin
One of God’s flaws

Find me in the attic
Uncovering mirrors
Acting erratic
Unlike the flickers
They seem more static
Visions are clearer

I’m usually not wrong with my calculations unless it’s math
Then I have to ask

I don’t know what hate is / I’m only torn by love

Heads up: A lender reported that the status of your account is now current. Drifting but determined. Maybe we’re learning. But watch for what is coming…

FOR THE RECORD: I hate my online etiquette but I’m at odds to change it.

It’s me not you…

P.S. I’ve yelled at my body to “grow up” so much in the mirror but alas I’m this tiny fucking thang.

No man has ever made me feel like a woman either.

So fuck you.

But please stay.

I wish he’d remove my clothing – instead of my wings.

Posted on February 11, 2023 by poeeternal · 5 Comments

Separated (poetry)

Separated by billions of light-years / this love

I’m using line breaks now. Am I a better poet?

I do crave the sound and clack and annoyance of an old typewriter.

I’m not going to put a filter on my poetry like Boeing put one on to tell the plane it can fly

Up down, up down, up down 18 times before it took a nosedive into the deep blue sea

The President: “you’ll need to rebrand”

GMO: “we’re Bioengineered Ingredients now”

The FDA: “we don’t want to tell you what’s on the labels” / NATURAL FLAVOR in EVERYTHING

(It was mad in a lab)

And now companies act like Coca Cola using “secret formulas”

It says it’s good for me so it must be true

(They’ll believe anything)

STOP TOUCHING ME AT CHURCH SPEAKING IN TONGUE

The sounds of my ribs breaking across the ocean as I leap from a bridge / has got to be better than the noises my BLACK LIVES MATTER neighbors love to make

Marriage / or go Hulk / take out the city block

Okay, I get the idea / but isn’t my context good enough

Did you know an acre cost about $2k grand?

If I started the paperwork, I could buy around 7 acres ~~tomorrow~~

I’m only begging God for 1-5

Did you know I’ve already started collecting seeds?

Special seeds. For ~~our~~ garden.

EVE needs THE GARDEN

I dreamed the birds came to me

Fuck you.

Go enjoy your prostitutes

I should never be included in “a list” (top or not)

I already fell for you / asshole.

You destroyed my wings

You stripped me! Without consent!

If you don’t give me my mini garden the world will end

I know it’s what you what

Nihilist

And I’m gonna be crawling for John Jones / you better get over it

The world doesn’t revolve around YOU

Others need my special love – my light / it’s fading

My signal soon gone

My last will and testament is to die in peace

Man is only concerned with AI and “man’s best friend” and his own inventions

Destroying the world White lives & Native American first – well there’s been other resets

6th mass extinction currently – all with malicious intent “we create our own reality” / we destroyed Mars

Now we’re off to “save it” only we can’t leave earth

Van Allan Belt

NASA says “they made worse”

I need to ~~train for cold weather~~ grow some thangs

I’d rather gut myself with my bayonet / than to let him see me in real time / at my worse

(~~no filter in the real world~~) “weathered” (one of them that shouldn’t be in the sun / fuck you)

Tell him / I need more time

(God too please)

Posted on February 11, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Midnight Sun (poetry)

He’s like a long-winded walk
Under midnight sun
And though he’s likely not you
He’s to blame for all you’ve done

*insert clever line breaks here*

Posted on February 11, 2023February 11, 2023 by poeeternal · 1 Comment

The Hunger (poetry)

Did you ever think God needs you here to keep this place from going under
You’re light and thunder
Relax your plunder
I need you longer
To wake from slumber
Realize the hunger

Postscript

I write for God now.

Could you please let God know I’m exhausted and need to rest a bit longer.

These demons have not stopped pounding me since I was born.

My dreams consist of multiple murder and full vape pens.

The mind normally gets what the mind wants

The face may show sadness, the eyes show rage

“The scientists” say that once bees are dead – all life will vanish

“The scientists” have fucked around with the genetic coding of honey bees, which has resulted in a 50% life reduction drop.

The honeybees only live 50% of the life God had intended for them – now that the “scientists” have reduced their genes to half life.

They thought the bees would be “more productive”. Pay attention

These demons are killing EVERYTHING

I do not fear imprisonment, my heart would self-annihilate or I’d ensure humane ending via a cop ending my life prematurely

Keep swinging your dick on the road like you have more importance than ~~everyone~~ women

Tell me something is wrong with me again

I’ll respond: what’s the matter honey? You in-love with a prostitute?

Yes. We know you all are.

The studies say over 50% of men want love with a prostitute and would legalize prostitution

There’s also a direct link to sex trafficking and prostitution – with testimony from men, “she looked trafficked and frightened and underage but it’s what I want”

Fuck you

Cut me off again, anywhere, anyday

You only treat prostitutes with respect huh

Like this book “racing the light” that I checked out from the library just yesterday – nowhere in the synopsis did I know porn would be the subject.

So far, the writer has used his characters to complain about the daily women, one being a “skinny scarecrow”, the other being “fat” – yet glorifying the porn star on the poster, how she looks amazing wearing “all black”. How they wouldn’t fuck her during a podcast show because they have boundaries

GET IN THE FUCKING SEA

I’m done reading!

Chapter 7! He’s on his way to meet the famous pornstar!

Gag me! I’d rather die than live in this porn infested society!

Stop conditioning!

This book should not be at the library!

Walmart and the mall should not be selling sex equipment in front of children or me!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YOU

Tell God I’m angry!!!!!!!

The honeybees deserve more!

Science is unethical!

Art is sin!

90% of all murder happen by men!!!!!!!!!

The other ten percent I’m contemplating falling in!

So many men are committing crimes they are reducing sentences – opposite for women – hardly any do so punishment is more severe

Rules for thee, not for me

I’m gonna fuck you up if you smile at me incorrectly or refuse to open the door when you see me

Cut me off again

I triple dare you

Money don’t mean shit to me

Ending your pathetic society tho – like Bonnie ~~and Clyde~~

I dream of it

DAYDREAMS

Of bloodletting

With the de-lite

~~BLACK LIVES MATTER~~ / ASIAN HATE ✓

All before morning coffee

Born this way

Need him to go where I’m going

The library is no longer a safe place for me – I’m angry and contending with that now

I sensed this with the LGBT and Boomer staff lurking and the “smell of lies” and the street political thugs in gold begging for my signature

Still there was hope

Briefly

It didn’t last very long

People ruin everything

I’m finely crafting my monster and angelic side –

Men have suppressed me from sex and defense

They get sex and murder – with the slap of a hand

Cut me off again

I can’t be the only woman feeling this way

Gonna start a riot

The way doctor lady swallowed when I told her “according to the latest studies over 51% want love with a prostitute and would vote yes”

Gutted her right there in her stool

Continued gutting her with more facts

I’m maybe the Oracle but get treated like Agent Smith

I’m maybe Neo Trinity Morpheus too

“Why me Gabriel” (you’re going to hell for the life you took – you’re fucked)

Should I join the order of Satanism? I was reading over their website – I read the DR book age 16 – it cost money to join – they say titles are earned – whatev, give me Priestess or fuck off – I will keep my $$$

Also, should I join? The order?

Of Satanism?

Revenge is a dish served by an Angel rogue in hell

It’s just another form of narcissism carefully crafted

“We’re not religious but we are, we think we’re Gods”

LAUGHS

Oh yeah?

So adorable

I really enjoy spending time in the sun getting “weathered” and feeding all God’s creatures

Probably causing them more harm but the intention is good

Tell God I’m sorry for being such a fuck up

I know I’m suffering cuz I died via suicide – this hell

But when do I?

I’ve been conditioning myself to do it since in womb

Age 5 on the kindergarten – got in trouble for putting “string around my neck and pulling” – wasn’t allowed sunshine or going outdoors for weeks (fuck you)

You treat prisoners better than civilians

I’ve got scars from cutting on my body

Charming

I worry more about my stretch marks than I do scars over my big veins

LOOK: TRIED TO KILL MYSELF THAT DAY

Wanna get married?

*jumps from bridge

Posted on February 9, 2023 by poeeternal

Anti-Valentine (micropoetry)

I should move the place you most hate; get a little cabin by the lake.

Posted on February 9, 2023February 9, 2023 by poeeternal

Merry-Go-Round (poetry)

Am I sleeping beauty?
Put under spell?
Are you creeping monster?
Or savior in this hell?

Am I just gloomy?
Cheerful carrousel?
Are we fast moving?
Or racing parallel?

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved. No portion of this website, including text, photos, and videos, may be reproduced, copied, saved, transferred, or transmitted in any manner, digital or otherwise, without written permission.

Mary go round – the truck – like a vulture – ready to devour the dead

Welp ^^ ^^

*bat wings

Posted on February 8, 2023 by poeeternal

Stay in the light… (poetry)

The light moves
Through dark and greys
The way it soothes
When heart would stray
It won’t lose way

Postscript

I think the sun is likely female

Light is information

Your heart, brain, your nerves electrical

Little light-beings

Not your fleshlight

“I’m sorry Cooper, you had a gift and you didn’t get to use it”

If only my parents would acknowledge their mistakes with their children

The father must be wondering if he’s sending his sister out into the great unknown to see if “I am happy”, in which, “I am not” and I’m stalking my father to see if his address is on the sex registry, where I learned a list “is not forever” – in fact, many states are reducing the length of time a name should be on

My own flesh was surprised to just learn that the list “is not forever”

The list should be one list and forever

Maybe I should go pay the ole father a visit

Will be hard to look upon him without spitting or disgust

Can barely write this now without snarling

The Boomers sold America out

Need land. Want to grow things.

Been disassociating. Have money. Lots.

LAUGHS

I swear to fuck, Edgar just said, “this one’s on me”

He doesn’t want me dying in the street

Been there, done that mentality

I need a lock of his hair and Jone’s skull

Thinking of buying land out in Montana

I’m gonna get him outta that fucking hole

People do it… I’ve read

Years later. A recovery after the government said no.

They were later blessed.

They just went in and did it, danger and all.

Some die trying. Bless.

But many mostly succeed. Determined.

He wants out. It was his final wish. His last will and testament.

Management thought a death would bring in more $$$$. He was disappointed it closed. Surprised. I read his own fucking lines.

I wanna rip his fucking cock out with my teeth

Maybe I should write a story – fictional – and focus on buying land in Montana instead

The desert is probably a terrible place to grow things

Are there trees in Montana? Is there sunshine and a sun? What sort of food can I grow? What are the taxes like? What are restrictions like? Can I have a chicken coop?

Not to slaughter but I’ll steal the eggs – with gratitude and love

I don’t know how to take care of a plant, let alone a chicken…

I could dig a foxhole and protect them tho…

I don’t want to kill the fox tho

The fox is hungry

He will probably be getting fed..

All of God’s creatures can come to me for food

If God will allow me to provide for them

I want to be called Willow, or my land

“Willow acres” or something

1-5 acres is all I am asking for

I have a COE

Please ask God to protect me from my crazy behavior, I’m spinning wild

Should I buy land in Florida? I don’t wanna now – it’s gone – immigration ruined it 😦

*sadface*

The sinkholes, the limestone

Can’t even take a bath after knowing what recently happened to that one brother “in his bed”

What the fuck was he looking at tho? For real? The earth got mad!

Sorry don’t meant to victim blame

Terrible terrible way to go

Sinkholes are to be feared

And most Floridians fear them more than the gators…

Please stop using the animals as entertainment and selling their teeth

I still have mine – and cry

Poor baby gators

Getting their teeth knocked out for a few bucks

God made me so depressed

*sigh*

I always hated investing but now I’m trying to study and learn and just keep going over it until something finally sticks

The ah ha moment

All my research says stay away from the stock market if you don’t want your savings to plummet

I’ve had mine in investment funds for years – growing – ungrowing – I fear to peer

I didn’t know I had any at all

I thought I had lost it all

I have my down payment for my land or home – and I can borrow against it or remove it all (with a penalty)

Or keep investing (with minimal to high risk)

Are banks even interested in a $15k down payment? Does money still talk?

I’m talking 1-5 acres

Is cash still king?

Or do I gotta take in a gift card and doughnuts?

Shouldn’t they be feeding me? To get the sale?

The Army and Marines took me to lunch – more than once – the Marines heartbroken when I chose Army green

Oh boo, my uniforms are obsolete

And I’m so fucking small – I get lost in them now..

Can’t even sell the new ones – even old – cuz they changed uniforms again!!! Immigration is a Trojan horse!

Me and the old vets complain about how these kids don’t leave a building to fight…

They’re planning something sinister

Is Montana a good place to move? About to throw a dart…

Posted on February 5, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Lunar Light (poetry)

This place is set to sink

The message on the soap bar reads
E
S
C
A
P
E
The ghost in the mirror says the same

Snuff out the circus
From steering wheel
One hand will surface
No face but purpose

Maybe John didn’t pray hard enough
He didn’t crawl hard enough
He didn’t bawl long enough
Maybe John had given up…

I’m taking out the trash –
The neighbors “entertainment” blaring from the car window is worse than what’s in the bag

Children are heroin to a pedophile
You shouldn’t leave ANY MAN alone with a child (public counts)
They do it in a crowd

Avoid the stock market
Unless you want –
Your savings to plummet

The way that monster extended his hand for me to walk
The trust it took to cross

He stands in the doorway
Dressed as darkness
As death
Thick as a highway

He rides
Like chance is his market
In a blacked out Chevy
Crying my name

I read through the fine print
You must’ve gaslit
Or put an asterisk*

Chill out babe
People need to eat

They should be chasing me
Like a current
But the crickets are chirping
And nobody knows it

Green yellow red
Tartan
His favorite, he said

Final curtain call
Last watch before the fall

He treated her with little worth
Even when she showed him mirth
On a broken earth

Going out on top, in the middle, or none
It’s all the same sum

He said he needed her
She prepared for the apocalypse
The lies eclipsed between his lips
Lunar light from fingertips

You wanted –
You were denied
Like spear in side
Not dignified –
Hope you like the ride

Today I asked myself, “are you okay?”
But the reply was, “I’m not sure…”

(Tell God I’m lost)

Kidnapping season has arrived
Better hide so I don’t die

I fell so far down the rabbit hole
I nearly lost my soul

The Devil greeted
Said I looked mistreated
Gave money then pleaded
“I’m welcome when needed”

(True stories from the pawn)

🙂

We wipe every trace
Of any mistake

They tremble when I enter room
Eyes spell doom
Searching soon
But for who?

“Are you feeling suicidal or homicidal today”

MY LABS ARE FINE

You lie, I lie. Eye for an eye.

Professionally paranoid
Not me, another boy
At least one is getting paid for

“Life jackets worn
Nobody mourns”
But my vein pours
I’m the Queen of Thorns

Some of these poems deserve their own little graveyard.

Queen of Thorns – Merrie Magdalene – maybe God wants me with no man

I missed his cues. Trembling in my blues. Set a trap or two.

Does he know how hard it was
The darkness
He wanted to turn me into haunted

Thanks for cutting the cord on us
You were really dangerous

He’s unstable
Like a megabomb unlabeled
He cut the cable
He’s so ungrateful
But gave me the label!

He pulled the plug
Couldn’t handle my love
Thinks he’s so smug
But I laid the bug
Lesson comes from above!

Sucker!

GENX – the absolute favorite

“FAIRLY YOUNG – not 400 pounds” (could he be anymore of a pedo tho) (asking for a friend)

(Sorry – autism is real – my thoughts have sound)

His hand is cruel
But the trap I laid was too

There was never any other
The devotion was always him
Every single hour
I had given in

Money in the wallet
Money in the bank
Money sweet like chocolate
Money in the safe

The self-sabotage trap was set
It shone like gold
To a thief – made his tongue wet
He lost his foothold
Have I won the bet?
Did his black heart fold?

THE DEVIL STUDIES ME

What deed does this warrant?
Keep my soul stored in storage

I NEED A FOREST

His hand is too stern
For an Angel
He should’ve waited his turn
He’s cutting lines in hell

“Not competing”
Even when I’m dreaming
Though I don’t know his face
Or where I’m leaning

You terrible fool.

She complained but then
He had her condemned
Didn’t like her dreaming
Couldn’t call her friend

This page no longer exists
You’re careless!

You’re not a king –
Your word doesn’t mean a thing!

Disgusting john
Gone first dawn
Dream was wrong
He’s a moron

Dreams and fantasy do not occur at the same interval

Dreams in mirror are closer than they appear

How to get rid of a ghost during a self-sabotage attack:

[ ] Step 1 – tell him/her you dreamed of another

No child left behind
Except –
I’m in decline
Falling further in line

You need me so bad huh
Prostitutes are the only one to see your face (get dinner too)

“God isn’t here”, he implored!
But did I not give him everything he was asking for?
Endless love –
But still I gave him more.

No one can join, no one can leave
Thank you for releasing me
To the wildebeests
To the north and east
Do you love me least?

Despite all them hours given –
I didn’t earn enough to maintain my blog or equipment
Unlike the prostitutes you are paying – a decent living…

TO ALL – the shoe fits

“I’m not gonna make it”, she cried
“I know”, he yelled, as he cut the line…

(People never mention that he loved her from the moment she walked in the room and said “no you’re not” or that he killed that one guy closer in order to save her, or how the dad said he should be making babies and he next found her on a wild excursion – love is the anomaly sure sure)

Will she even be alive when he gets there, or will she too be crushed by a landslide – like how he cut the cord on her – to fall into a black hole – Murphy’s Law – gotta leave something behind

God gave him everything
Including an an angel with imperfections
The way other poets had written
She made him smitten
Left her in a ditch then
Rode away with his riches
Wondering if love’s where he’s wishing
The endless bitches…

Who gave him the right to punish her with such effect that her wings were stripped and her gift neglect?

He cut me loose
Didn’t know what he would lose

She was an angel in hell
Half-virgin
Overworked and overburdened
Though lesson not emerging
His hand reflecting serpent
Now heaven can’t be summoned

She fell down in a pit of despair
Called a timeout –
He responded, ‘fuck off farewell’

You foolish fool
Pride got best of you

He cut his only lifeline to heaven
Didn’t to count to seven

Three times I would be denied
Stayed by his bedside
Over mortified
Underpaid but hoping he was satisfied
Now contemplating suicide

He pulled the plug
While I was alive and breathing
Telling world what all was needing
To keep on being

Did you forget your heart or something?
Lying on the floor?
All I hear is banging –
Coming from my door.

You’re not anyone to build a foundation with –
Because you have money
I have a little bit

The fat sun hung its head lowly

The answer is still no
Keep knocking though

He doesn’t know if he made the right decision – and he’s right – he really didn’t.

The way hopelessness trickled like a wave
I watched him climb into our grave
Facing death I’m brave
All I can do is turn away

You don’t know what you’ve done
Immaculate fool
Trap set for one
And in you flew

He needed me daily
So I pulled away greatly
Especially what I learned lately
How they pay prostitutes for “dating”

The way you left
In uncertainty
Waving like a theft
But claiming clarity

The world ain’t paradise
He misreads my lines
We’re wrapped in knives
Covered twice in lies

Shared finances?
Forget about it –
More like failed romances,
Where I commit.

Hard cock but weak heart

He left me with nothing
Took the rainbow and the rope
I’m barely coping

Took the boat
See him atop the waves floating
Going directions I ain’t going

Some days you gotta stay down

He had a speedboat
She had a canoe
He cut the cord
Near the waterfall, too

The Devil –
I didn’t know he was so easily triggered –
Who would have figured?

Excuse me,
I’m in the middle of self-sabotage,
Why are you requesting access?

What now honey?
You broke the truce

He fell into my trap
And that’s a wrap

Ask him why I left (he’s bereft)

Fuck! Why is he knocking?
Hasn’t he just left?
He hasn’t been far walking!
And now he’s got requests!

I shared special parts of me
I never shared with anyone
He took advantage of my generosity
Now he’s on the run

Our city is a barren waste
With heart like desolate rock
In a howling state
Give me the glock

I thought I could never live without “man’s best friend”
Until he turned demented
Hailed from a demon
A head that’s fed

I loved you
Any way possible
There wasn’t any doubt
A wide open ocean
There wasn’t any drought

Posted on February 4, 2023February 4, 2023 by poeeternal

Value (poetry)

My doctor thinks I have value
Maybe one or two?
How about you?

Postscript

Isn’t is my doctors job to keep me around – like I know an IV is plugged into my arm and I’m sitting on an MRI table with little to zero worth – full of self-loathing, scolding my doctor for making him late for his next patient, because “I’m not marriage material” – and he ain’t even a head doctor (therapist)

“How was your Friday night” – see above. Poem included.

Posted on February 2, 2023February 4, 2023 by poeeternal

Too Heavy (poetry)

Forgive me
Of these sins I carry
Wandering
Lost in hell

Check my itinerary
Turning left with Mary
Uphill cemetery
No cross too heavy

Postscript

Decade at this and Poe died on the street.

Looking back – leaving the Devil in the dust – picking up my run.

Put away my gun.

Eyes focused. Sun.

I’ve been unable to delete my Playstation account – via phone or web. Infinite loop.

Called the New York times today and bit a hole in their asshole. Data deletion kind of pending. Gotta jump through hoops.

I’m aside myself.

At Starbucks, in public, I saw a Mexican grooming a young white female.

The way she clung to her drink – her straw – not making eye contact with him.

The things I overheard.

The way he puckered his lip.

How I just stood there – like a fawn -idling in my car – until she looked at me – saw my distress – and I pulled off left her there, in her pigtails and little dress – ordered my coffee appallingly – swore off society again – spent all day having issues controlling my breathing or my heart – like a unending panic attack – I threw away everything in my closet – swearing off anything sexy – and men likely forever – drowning in sorrow like a little bitch – remembering scenes at MacDonalds as a young girl I’d rather not recall

Knowing calling the cops with suspicion and hearsay is futile – knowing the propaganda they serve

I’ve gone insane

But then today

Sitting in my car

Pondering to keep an extra calendar I acquired or not – deciding that someone in fact may still need one – it being February 2nd and all – someone may have decided they need a calendar after all.

Not even 20 minutes later – awaiting my appointment – someone at the counter – “you don’t have anymore calendars do you?”

They did not…

I spoke up – “oddly enough God told me someone might need one, and I dropped one off at the front where the coffee normally is”

He promptly went and scored his new calendar, came back with it proudly.

He was still looking over it as I was leaving my appointment, like a half hour later.

Bless.

He probably won’t ever throw that calendar away.

Meanwhile, I’ve got monsters ~~breaking me~~ freeing me from a curse

I don’t have time to finish this conversation because I have a physical therapy appointment to attend.

I’m doing things.

Got my 20 minute rebound session in.

The peach is looking rather rump.

Round rump.

The abs are solid hard core

To be homeless or not be homeless

That is the question?

Answers are coming

P.S.S.

I can’t help the people I love.

I can’t stop giving.

I know things before they happen.

Little things.

Like someone needing a calendar.

WTF is that!?!

What have they done to me?

What powers do I possess?

Posted on January 22, 2023January 23, 2023 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Marsh (poetry) I LOVE YOU

He’s the first one
At my den
Sitting front face
Right where he’s been

And when he’s out there
In the harsh marsh marching
Blood for his pen

I know his foot steps
Right where I’m sinking
Count on him

Like one through ten
The alphabet but then

He smells of gin
Spice or cinnamon
He’s like a ghost in quicksand
Cynical and disciplined

He’s the whole world listening
When I speak
He’s the sun peeking in!

Even when light’s missing
He’s thinking when
“Will I see you again”

As if the earth just doesn’t spin…

I got carried away with this rhyme

And maybe he’s my imaginary friend

But there’s only so many letters in the alphabet for him to appear

I speak in morse code – maybe he can hear

Is my rambling clear?

It’s freestyle dear… 🙂

Posted on January 20, 2023 by poeeternal

In-between (poetry)

I’m thick but thin
A contradiction
I’m wrought with sin
Mary Magdalene

The in-between is the longest
Gotta keep it honest –
John faced doubt like Thomas
Crawling like a novice

Hurry hurry rush / complacency

Removing compression
Lifetime depression
I love in discretion
I’m stuck in level seven
Suicidal without question

The devil has congregated where I sit!
The conversation’s better than this!

“Who dies many times before their death?”
The snake said under his breath –
“I like you best”

You will experience three deaths:
First the day you die
Second buried under sky
The last time your name’s replied

The sun is radio signals
The rain on my windows
My smile and my dimples
The end and middle
My skin and wrinkles

And Saturn is a satellite
I hope I hear from him tonight
Swinging in with moonlight
Watch for him by daylight
Got a big appetite

I am downward spiral
Hand won’t swear on Bible
I am God’s disciple
I am homicidal
Calmly in denial

“Well tell me you have hope”
It includes a smile and a rope!
Busy climbing but that’s not a nope!
Dying is a slippery slope

He looked on like I wasn’t average
What caused his absence?
Needed a moment to balance?
Slipped into madness?
Could he see my sadness?

I lay awake and alone in a dark and sprawling and empty house
Without a spouse
I don’t even have a mouse
Just a “dirty mouth”

“Miracle cures” –
Snake oil ain’t pure!
Satanic for sure!
Hell’s got constant tours!

The Great Filter is narcissism is a plague spread by Biblical propaganda, prostitution, and porn. These nihilists make you wish THEY were never born.

I don’t own anything but sorrow. Tell God I’ll see him tomorrow?

Posted on January 17, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Value (micropoetry)

Got rid of everything you touched
I learned the value wasn’t much

Posted on January 16, 2023January 16, 2023 by poeeternal

Yellow Fever (poetry)

I’m not Asian. I’m not a 10. I’m over 29. I’m God’s orphan.

They bleach their skin. Cuz Black Lives Matter. And according to the census, White lives don’t. FACTS

Asia number one

And I would’ve probably believed in the whole biblical bullshit had they not tried to convince me about some magical woman getting pregnant without any cum or some dude walking on water and now they want me to believe in dark matter, dark suns, dark worlds, dark planets – I mean you’re fucking delusional and I believe in death.

Narcissism is a plague

Those in “control” are nihilists

Man comes from vagina

Woman does not come from ~~rib of man~~ but vagina

FACTS

The first Bible can be traced back to Asia

“Made in China” – that’s what every Bible should say – not just the version cuz it’s been rewritten to serve Satan a million times

The Good Book with “words of Christ in red” should have never been rewritten. Period. Red flags. It’s conditioning.

And I knew it was all about control when I was just age 5.

I hated the cold atmosphere of school – and the misinformation taught

I even asked my mother, “who is in charge of what they teach us”

She is possessed by the Devil

She swears it is me…

LAUGHS

It was a terrible toxic environment

The folks need dying and dead

Gutted in the fucking street

Maybe then I’d get some sleep…

Posted on January 15, 2023January 15, 2023 by poeeternal

Forsaken (freestyle poetry)

Father,
I’ve been forsaken
Fell on earth
Still shaking

Whole world undertaking
You feel me aching?
Cursing while I’m breaking?
Nightmare got me waking!

I am awaken?

How light will break in?
Always knocking, Satan!
Tell him, I hate him!

My soul ain’t vacant!
I hope God is patient
Before world naked
I’m basic

Darkness so pervasive
I’m growing complacent
Getting stuck in places!
Knowing what John faces!

I’m faceless!
Falling down ain’t gracious!
I’m persuasive!

Smiling where I’m hated!
Holes in wall frustrated!
Emaciated!
Hung on cross related!

“Where do you get your truth?”

I am the truth – that’s why I’m facing you

6000 years of deleting my word

But you don’t know what’s coming

Or you do

So I expect you’re running

Split in two

Soulless, too

Through and through

I don’t actually have a problem with “dry rot write” (dry well, writing droughts)

I need to learn to shut the fuck up

And I felt like I could continue this poem on for several more lines…

So I stop for fear of going “overboard” but I really wanna just keep going four pages if I must…

I write. With brain fog edit. Post.

I don’t know when I will get another chance

The clock is ticking

I’m ~~obsolete~~ forsaken

😑

Posted on January 14, 2023January 14, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

I Do Not Sleep (freestyle rhyme)

I do not sleep in a rose-painted bed
With doves above my crown
I’ve got sorrow lying around
Like pillows drifting below

I do not sleep in a rose-painted bed
Where dreams assemble and grow
The visions of yesteryear
Left me somewhere dead

Postscript: Free speech below

What does it mean when shadows in your mirror appear?

Yeah, I can’t fucking sleep…

I’ve reached a new level of insanity

Please, not the streets.

There it is again!

Am I dying!?!? 😫

I mean, the poem turned out okay though?

God only made me average but I try and do it so well…

I fuck everything up, that’s a give

I want a rose-painted bed

I want a night of rest…

I want in his arms – I want to be valuable enough to be in the same room with a man – and not want to murder one another or break bonds

I’ve never imprinted

Feeling worthless is the baseline of depression

Posted on January 14, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Mess (poetry & free speech)

I don’t like showing him pictures
When I know he’s into perfection
And I’m leaning a different direction
Part of his daily “mess” collection!?!

I suppose when they’re paying for it, in their mind, they believe they’re getting top-tier sex, huh?

File me under Dante’s 7th level

You should have a file system like Inception – 9 levels deep (put me level 7)

Lucky number 7

Not first, not last. Made top ten.

Maybe with a ⭐️ on the file folder

Locked

“The chosen one”

Oddly enough my lifeline was 7 – I’ve done this seven times!?!

I’m on 7 now

The Matrix twas 6 times

If love is the anomaly, and they all think they love the fucking fake porn stars, and the prostitutes… uggggg

My grandmother stated “you must have a tapeworm”

She wasn’t far off potentially

My horoscope read age 15: “leo’s suffer from feet and heart issues”

My best friend before she died of suicide age 13, “something bad will happen to the world in 2003” – she was distraught – it was 1993

She didn’t live long enough to see her prediction come true

We went to war in 2003, I was part of the initial push into Baghdad, as a combat medic during the start of the war (she was long dead but it still fucks with me)

She literally came to school freaking out saying that she had a bad dream and that “something bad was going to happen in the year 2003, but she didn’t know what”

She died by suicide maybe a month later

She was 13…

Several years later her mother also died by suicide and they are buried next to one another. Their bones got a coffin! ❤️

A coffin plus one of those metal boxes that goes over the coffin…

Her bones have a home for now… ❤️

The point tho – predictions coming true

How!?!

I crawled into them!?!?

Someone up there is looking out for me!?!

I think it’s possible I might actually be locked in a computer against my will somewhere

The government took my DNA, blood, hair, signature, pledges and swears before the flag, like I was sold an idea about the US and that training imprinted on me 🙂

Just like porn imprinted on you

I’m trying to stay alive – get fit enough – to go down in battle

Total warrior

Like I’m still a Soldier who holds rank

They may have changed the uniforms, but I was never stripped of mine

I know the enemy wants me and my comrades dead

I’ve already lost family and friends

And I don’t know how responsible I am for my other family members who never even listen to me because they’re so fucking demented and toxic

My sister is dead, age 45

My fucking parents are still alive – and I’m growing resentful and weary of it

Agent Smith didn’t like the stench of humanity and I feel the same of narcissists

Every state should make sex offenders, lifelong. I wanna know who my fucking neighbors are.

And pedophiles say that they were born that way, they swear they were fucking born that way, so they can’t change, so it’s not like they’re going to be different in five or six years or 10 or 15 or 25, that’s just long enough for them to start fucking your grandchildren

They will have the best relationship with their own children just so they can fuck their grandchildren, and there are studies out there of this, it’s not hearsay

I also have a degree in psychology, so I study human nature

I swear pretty bird has started saying “thank u” instead of “pretty bird” lately – and normally soon after I’ve tossed out seeds n’ nuts

I swear it

“Thank u thank u thank u”

I don’t care about these abandoned cats tho – not natural to the environment – made in a fucking lab – carry disease – and are terrorizing the wildlife here

I will fuck a motherfucker up

And it’s extremely hard being an angel because I don’t know what I’m allowed to hurt, and what I’m allowed to not hurt

Fuck that demented cat, but it shouldn’t be my karma to call the pound on him

He didn’t even eat the tuna I put out

What a fat kunt

I like lions but hate “man’s best lab friend”

So the American Asians identify as a Chinese American, and probably wish to drop Americans all together once they fully take over our country – they value “Chinese culture” and are pushing their way of life on us here

I don’t recognize my own country

I come from a generation where we had to page people to communicate or go to their fucking door, and I’m kinda ready to go back to that sort of lifestyle…

I sold my TV

I don’t even want a smart phone

I want sex toys behind a black curtain because I don’t want to see it and I’m a fucking adult

I need food

But I stopped going to the grocery store buying anything and I’m trying to eat what I have in my house

When was it acceptable to blow your horn in the parking lot for someone to come down?

What is this trend of people turning their fucking cars off at the red light?

I’m done with society

They want a 15% tip for ringing you up and they can’t even get your order right or smile

I don’t want to do any of this anymore

If I wanted to live in Asia I’d fucking move there

I do not have yellow fever

And I will never support another Asian franchise in America ever again or buy anything from China, India, or Mexico

“You’re racist”

Correction: I’m homicidal

If you’re gonna accuse me of something, make sure you get it right

Homicidal is the new suicidal and we don’t fucking talk about it these days 🙂

Happy to help

Remember heal and save

Sharpen your blades (they will invade at night, at rest, they will not follow GENEVA)

I’d really like to show God what sort of warrior I am and it’s not getting gutted it in the street

And this is like minority report now, they will fucking commit you for saying something

I’m still on the good side of god (I fight and live for God) – this establishment worldwide needs to END and be dismantled and destroyed

The entire reason they do these wars is just so they can have their fucking prostitutes in different countries…

It’s mostly military and white men apparently (according to studies)

An entire nation lost

They are also making the animals suffer and it has to stop

What the fuck are they doing to these gators at the amusement parks? Selling teeth? I have some. As a reminder – of how fucked up immigration ruined my country – turning everything into a Sims theme park – creating depression – addiction – addicts – monsters – lost souls

The doctors and nurses are criminals

I still have my medical background that the enemy didn’t account for

“No one will listen to her”

“Censor her”

Me: sells TV, stops supporting society

And I spend time in the sun now without sunblock, and I don’t get burned

I absolutely can be taken down by the elements very quickly though, the cold, the heat, I have a heart condition

Thanks to the government and my gullibility

RIP John Jones

P.S. your rugs are dirty

Posted on January 12, 2023 by poeeternal

Demons (poetry)

He’s got demons on his back
An angel full on attack
In an order of the fallen
His heart is black
But I bet –
He can hear me calling!

I know where success recedes
I hope God notices my little deeds
Despite making mistakes in excessive speeds
Crawling headfirst to sacred needs
I know where hatred breeds
How repentance precedes

Free speech below 🛑⚠️🛑

It should be illegal to sell our data or spam us at our private home address.

The rain forest is being turned into a McDonald’s coupon

I’ve always felt uneasy wiping my ass with a tree

Since age 5 or something

FYI

We’re turning earth into mars

Remember the great dust bowl? Here on earth

Keep chopping down the trees…

Earth will turn into a dead planet

“Since 1970 68% of all life has gone extinct”

Don’t shoot me if I wind up in your yard

Naked out of my mind….

Don’t have me committed

Don’t do anything

Just pretend I don’t exist like you do now

Posted on January 11, 2023 by poeeternal

Labs (10 word poem)

My labs are fine
But man I’ve lost my mind

It’s not just in the koolaid, it’s in the water too

FYI

I not only have to fight the urge to not leap from a fucking bridge, I have to also not get committed against my will.

I made bean soup yesterday and there’s only one bowl left. Shame.

Ate half the pot in one sitting. What a gluttonous little bitch. Followed by a fat slice of upside down pineapple coconut cake 2.0.

One slice of cake, one bowl of beans left. It was a good run.

I’m still throwing my life away.

I hope I’m not next

Posted on January 11, 2023 by poeeternal

Trust (poetry)

My trust setting is lower than yours
Like opening sores
Instead of closing doors
I am dead for sure

I’m lost
And in despair
The maps will lead you there
Dying
Does anybody care

Men are capable of great things
Except for taking care of me

I’m so far from reach
Tongue has lost its speech
The big sweep
Got me on my knee
Locked in misery
Losing sleep

Depression is a roundabout. I need a different route!

Found my worth
Dying on the cross
But it isn’t your loss
Nor the hole in the wall
It isn’t your turf
But don’t let me go, Murph!

STOP 🛑 Free speech below ⚠️⛔️⚠️

The way the forest was crying. So I tossed out a homemade trail mix. I swear I hear tweets of “thank u” and cute little calming chirps from the squirrels. When I hear crow arrive, I boldly and loudly say “CROW” out my window to greet him/her. A couple evenings ago Crow said something and a kid loudly yelled “shut up” to the crow.

Also a kid violently threw away some trash and I saw a squirrel fly from the bush onto a tree – in fear.

So all things live in fear here – thanks to BLM ✊🏿

Someone was loudly playing a “pussy” song out here from their car.

Charming

An abandoned wildcat is terrorizing the squirrels. We have 6 or 7 living in the slums now.

Being homeless might not be so bad in the summer.

There was a tent but it was sold at the pawn.

Along with all the other cheap shit that didn’t mean a thing.

Been tossing perfectly fine hardback books away in the trash.

Yet holding onto some book with torn pages.

I’m to blame for the ripped pages.

I place value in things I shouldn’t.

I deserve nothing.

The weed stopped working, and God doesn’t want me disassociating anymore. Boo.

I spent a load of money buying hardware and now they decided to stop selling that hardware and they replaced it with new hardware so you can’t replace the batteries and recharge or anything like that and so like I’m just done with the goddamn bullshit everywhere including my phone

They want us to pay for the phone – and the service – and the storage – and now you need an account or an app to read or do anything

It took a shit ton of effort to delete my PapaJohns account – had to call them – took them several minutes of jerking off – and supposedly it is done. They are selling your data, to the enemy. Tracking you.

I just wanted to order pizza man. I’m done ordering pizza. Cool beans.

And then, if you don’t keep all these apps updated, they’ll just keep changing their policies, spying on you.

Bombarding you with ads “you will buy this”

Newsflash: energy is not endless like the sea. Those in power are delusional.

NASA is delusions of grandeur

America is selling sex toys in front of children everywhere, and me! It’s disgusting!!!!!!!

Fine! Starve me on the cross! I refuse to participate!

The weed don’t work no mo!

The eddies. The flower.

Long time ago homegrown lasted longer than this overpriced, GMO modified junk!

Tier 1, tier 2, tier 3

Fuck all that

And… the kicker… having to pay to enter a “medical building”

I have to jump through the hoops to get to my legal weed, but y’all are selling sex toys in front of the fucking children for “health and wellness”

And apparently on the street, they’re selling junk as well and you get sexually harassed and your goods stolen

Where the fuck did the mindfulness and community unity go!?! You could smoke a joint a be set for a good 7 or 8 hours in the 90s

Meet up at the tree. Break time. Wee

I don’t even wanna go to the movies or go to the restaurants or buy anything because everything is fucking poisoned and everyone has a goddamn attitude

And they want a 15% tip for ringing you up

Bitch, you didn’t even greet me nor were you smiling

I worked 3 jobs with a smile…

Gentrification exists

And NASA and Hollywood are the same entity. We can’t expend all earth’s resources getting to a dead planet – we probably destroyed with bombs and fearmongering

We killed off the dinosaurs too

Narcissism and nihilism is killing off everything

I’m sick to fuck of crying…

The day is starting

There was no sleep again…

“Scientists” continue to say that we are in a sixth mass extinction (new world order agenda) but overconsumption is due to narcissism.

I’m tired of environments being destroyed for a fucking shopping mall that will be a abandoned in a few years

It’s clear the enemy took over America

Give it time, the church will be selling anal sex toys for “health and wellness” too…

Get it off the icecream truck

Probably cheaper than the icecream these days

It’s all conditioning

One gen to the next

It’s a utophian nightmare

We can’t leave earth!!!!!

Stop killing her!!!!!

The divorce rate is 85%+!!!

90% of all murders happen by men!!!!!!

Wake up!!!!!!!!!

Please father, don’t let me die on the street

Down here with all these demons

“You’re gonna die of a good time down here”

WHEN!?!?!

The gaslighting 😩

Can’t even watch a film

Throwing out all my band memorabilia in the trash bin 🤩

So much moneytimeenergy wasted 🤩

There won’t be much left to bleed soon…

Posted on January 9, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Crow (poetry)

I wish I understood language of the crow
Been contemplating though
Talking to him through my window
And outside when I go

Posted on January 8, 2023January 8, 2023 by poeeternal

Tendons (freestyle poetry)

I am boney tendons
I am without intention
I am deep in ascension
Got your attention?

Like comets missing
Circling new dimensions
I need intervention
Holy brigade of his suns

Shining light on this one
His favorite weapon
Energized confession
It’s called possession

Postscript (contains free speech) 🫣

Holyshit, the wave is picking back up now. I’m in the eye of the storm.

I’m that scene when Trinity leaps from the building and falls into fawn mode

“Get up Trinity, get up…”

She had Neo to live for. The great anomaly. Love.

They wouldn’t even give John Jones a second phone call and it was Thanksgiving.

The real life ain’t the movies (but they made one about him and changed the most important details to suit Hollywoods agenda).

Now John has a nickname in heaven but I don’t like it very much. “LJ”

He likes his nickname but I don’t

It was on my upside down pineapple coconut cake

An L and a J

“LJ” was here

LJ (squared) (John Jones)

And if you don’t get the L reference – NICKNAME (too fucking bad)

Ask John what the L means

He will tell you

Or read some articles

I read every statement he said dying down there

Stuff from official Utah sources

Comments during the time

I READ COMMENTS FROM MICHAEL LEVITT VICTIM BLAMING

Recently a shadow formed on my wall in an L shape with a man hanging

He loves his new nickname but is sensitive to the fact that I’m yet not…

I made cake and I like feeding the squirrels and John has a new nickname

One day I’m gonna visit the caves

“LJ lives here”

It’s not even funny

It broke me

And I was dying of heart inflammation

He imprinted on me

His spirit

I want to cut Michael’s dick off

I want to do very bad things…

I bake experimental cakes instead

And the weed don’t work!

My meds stopped working!

“Get up Trinity, get up”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am getting a new blog soon

This one can just exist as an archive of major fuckup disasters

New pen, new identity

New deck of cards

I did it for love. I don’t know what God has in store for me

I hope it’s not dying on the street

The good news:

I don’t actually have to jump from a bridge

I can buy a gun

🙂

(Which is better than hanging yourself with a belt in your hotel room like Chris Cornell and Michael Hutchence)

Bless

I was so upset when I learned Michael died of suicide when I was 10.

EVERYONE I LOVE IS DEAD (-)

Did I tell you that John has been saving my life

I should not have got vaccine number two after vaccine one caused me heart issues

I’ll never get another flu shot or vaccine again

How much do you love your job to push your agenda?

I’m a Soldier, going down in battle sounds better than this bullshit of self-sabotage or “committed”

I probably failed my review board as I feared even mentioning being homicidal – although it’s the reason they ask all vets at the VA now

“Are you feeling suicidal or homicidal today”

It was always just suicidal until I was saying, “oh I’m feeling more homicidal these days“…

And I graduated to group therapy but there’s holes in my walls

“I fantasize about dying”

“It’s not a field day out here”

But it will be if the cops show up for me

(If I die here, nobody will know I didn’t want to…)

Although I’ve been blogging pretty heavily about it

“I hate it here as much as John Jones hates that cave”

LJ bless

Love you bro…

Posted on January 7, 2023 by poeeternal

Rather (poetry)

I’ll never wear fake jewelry again
And gifts received –
Returned with “I’d rather be dead”

Posted on January 7, 2023 by poeeternal

Lie (poetry)

“I’m not good with goodbye”
I know why you lie
Your head in her smile
Making me immobile

It’s all-or-nothing thinking
Oh look, I’m sinking!
“Depression is treatable!”
Unless you’re unagreeable!

I must be some kind of fool
I’m stupid too

Sinner or saint
I crossed a line
I filed complaint
Near heavens gate

What if my only plan is to love you
Like a wild sea
I’m raging
For you to pursue

One, two
Passing out the card
On top
First
To discard

I’m letting go of floppy drives
Pulling from my back the knives

How do I reach you?
Through the fog?
No dialogue?
The sky is blue?

There are still parts of me a virgin
Like my love for you
And I fell in my youth

I sit behind no curtains
Maybe old burdens
Cold and cursing

These serpents
Feast on virgins
I want to hurt them

Still converting
God is learning

My spirit forms in verses
Satan’s not in service

So apparently, I’ve ran more people off again, and this time it’s because I was busy… 🙃

Busy having a midlife crisis

Laughs

Dear Edgar,

We’re the same

With love from hell,

Your daughter!?!?

With Love From Hell (new book title idea but no idea has ever been my own and Google is broken)

Still fixing the mothership and vessels

48 hours ago was so intense

In the eye of the storm now

Gonna make upside down pineapple coconut cranberry cake today (with nuts and seeds)

Gonna eat it all….

I don’t know why I crawled deeper in the hole

It’s scary down here

No one could save me

STOP 🛑 ✋🛑 This section of the cave is not worth exploring. 2 people have required rescue.

Scratch that idea

Let’s close the cave for six months and make a new map without the dangerous location. That’ll keep em out.

6 months later…

John Jones crawling around with a headlamp from his childhood because even with strict entrance rules, the management was narcissistically terrible, and though quick to victim blame, twas managements fault. He got a promotion and award for killing Jones, FYI

“Why did you put me here?” John Jones (love you bro)

When there’s so much intensity followed by so much calm.

Make cake…

With coconut milk, coconut oil, coconut flakes.

NOM

Just a box cake glorified

Whatever they did to the medicinal, it doesn’t work for me anymore.

Florida is trying to make it recreational

Which is good cuz I’m done paying the state every 7 months to enter a 🏥 building

Fucking criminals creating addicts while modifying and poisoning the goods – it ain’t natural anymore – or generationally grown. It’s lab designed and shit. Stripped everything good out of it. Waste of time and money. Money drain pit.

And if you live in Missouri, you have to pay the state extra money if you want to grow your own weed, because fuck this establishment

“Globalism will be great” they said. I wasn’t convinced in college. I was right.

Never do listen to myself

This will change

That’s the intention anyway

Over and out

Posted on January 6, 2023 by poeeternal

Slums (poetry and confession)

I’m down in the slums
Marching around
Counting my crumbs
Mostly dumbfound

Two days ago I fed a squirrel.

Yesterday a squirrel grabbed my attention and brought a gang of his friends.

I fed them too.

I also added dry split pea to the seed and nut mix.

Now I got a bird grabbing my attention.

I’ll feed him too

I’m tempted to start buying squirrel and bird feed, and start spreading it everywhere (currently they’re eating my stash of food supplies) (I’m five pounds)

Stop on the side of the road, toss a bit

The city gonna start fining me for saving the world

It starts at home

And in your enemies backyard

They’re killing everything

Nihilism yah know

Psst I jumped into a deep pond

Now I’m somewhere 150 feet deep

I don’t want depth blackout

Thank God it was a full moon (I think)

It’s so cold down here a tear in my suit could send me to shock

I don’t know what’s next but the answers are coming (frighteningly)

I didn’t really have to crawl down here – but I panicked – and I did

I really deserve better than this

I think I’m learning my lessons and ready to try again

Need safe space

Where there is water moss will grow – especially when a source of warmth is involved

We can’t leave earth

Space exploration is a cool idea but that’s all it is and they go through great amounts to keep everyone asleep and hustling confusion

Astro physicist Neil Degrasse stated that the astronauts in the space station are not “in space”, he says “that is not space” and that he wants to go to the moon. He even stated the space station was “boring” and “didn’t want to do what 100 people have done before”

Let’s send Neil to the moon

Oh you lost all evidence on how to go eh

Oh the moon landing was rehearsed

Oh they didn’t have a phone line on the moon nor a way to talk from the moon to earth thus that famous quote we hear Neil say was actually recorded on earth (during rehearsal) (laughs)

So I might be moving

Onto the street

Come April 1st

Or, doors could be opening for me

There is no plan B currently

There is only isolation, packing/donating/selling/trashing my entire existence (minus some things I find valuable and I’d rather bury them in the dirt than tell you what they are)

I still sleep with my bayonet 🙂

I kept my vegan makeup and new closet items

And I’ve since added 4 new pairs of leggings to the collection (giving me 6 new pairs of comfies, nearly a week’s worth)

But some cause cancer

Laughs

So been hunting all cotton, wool, leather for wearing (sorry not sorry, natural does not hurt the eggs or delivery goods)

I’m not interested in memory foam no matter the name or price

That shit is toxic

Soon, the furniture will be removed from the apartment

The deep cleaning has already begun

I may need a shredding session like WaterGate

Only… I don’t know what files to keep or shred

People are dead

The deeds no longer matter

How long do you keep a receipt

And the looming tax files are the only thing I know for certain I should probably keep (medical and military records too)

Aside from that, I’ve got memories from folks and family I don’t want to remember

Or maybe I do

But all these things got to go

Things I’d like to do:

Yep so that’s about it…

Happy depression 2023

Posted on January 5, 2023January 5, 2023 by poeeternal

Offer (poetry)

There the offer stood
Like humiliation in the door
I guess life ain’t good
Unless you’re in a brotherhood

Apparently the thing I was fighting for does have value.

Most everything else that was gifted to me was cheap, fake shit.

LAUGHS

Jumping ship

To where, to which?

To be continued…. (praying)

“Don’t let me go, Murph”

“Don’t let me sell, Murph”

Great time to sell, not-so-much to buy.

Couldn’t really turn things around.

Sometimes nurturing old faithful is the better (and less expensive choice) (lesson learned after much research)

3 too many doors too many

I’ll chill here awhile

God: “what are you doing out here, it’s been ten years.”

Me: fuck the god damn doors, they all lead to hell…

God: “come inside”

Me: I’m fine in purgatory thanks

The noise is sometimes reduced to soul screaming only

“I talk to dead people”

God: “I made hot chocolate”

Me: why didn’t you say!!!!!!!!

*crawls inside*

Did y’all know the Bible that has been re-written many times (red flag) is actually Luciferian

Tis is…

The earth is alive

We spawned from here

Nihilism is a plague

“Too many men” according to Asian science (with malicious intent and purpose)

Narcissism is a plague

Sold/donated/trashed nearly 44 years of my life

Was gonna sell my uniforms but probably outdated and old (tho some new lol)

But not old enough to be vintage sought after

Just basically obsolete because gentrification exists lol

Once the uniforms are gone, I’m completely lost down here

Can’t even take my training with me when I die

Welp

Posted on January 4, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Dear World (poetry)

Dear World
I’ve no one to write
Dear World
I’ve lost will to fight

Posted on January 3, 2023 by poeeternal

Bond (poetry)

I come without bond
Broken
Look inside
Heart ain’t coping

Like leaping ledge
Just barely hoping
Your foot will land
But surface sloping

Man I am obsessed with cave diving deaths. Death in general because we were holding hands. Depth blackout terrifies me.

We can’t leave earth. We can’t even explore past 150 feet safely inside the earth.

What were you doing down there, John.

People will easily talk you into your death.

Give you maps withholding information needed to make valid decisions.

These demons try and avoid karma and fate by getting you to choose the wrong door.

I don’t want to go down with the ship.

There’s gonna be light at the end of the tunnel for me and that’s gonna be my way out of here.

Got an online offer on my Jeep. Not sure the avenue I’m going here – but why not downsize my ride.

I love her too much and I can’t take anything with me to heaven.

I also looked to see what they were being sold at with my mileage and year.

An SUV no longer serves my purpose here.

Would go down with the ship but why.

There were spaces on the lifeboat’s.

Lives could have been saved…

I’ve stopped crawling headfirst (still headstrong unfortunately)

“The answers are coming, rest Neo”

Nearly died, completely turning my life around.

Still learning basic concepts

Like how no man has ever seen me with any value – and destroyed everything I owned – while watching me work so hard to prove my worth/existence

But gentrification exists, because the rich hoard everything and they love us watching us fight for the cheap shit

A bone just to survive

I’m resetting my game. I’m allowed.

End game/Quit. Reset/Start over.

This time I go forward knowing my value to man is NONE.

Which is fine because 1-5 have an STD and I can’t look at any of them and take them serious.

Even if I wanted to date, the pool is tainted.

It ain’t worth the dive.

I live for God now. Sorry not sorry.

And I went back to the Mall. Spencer’s had even more hardcore sex toys out – and little boys were around.

I nearly threw up.

I don’t want anything to do with this porn infested devil society.

I’ll never know what it’s like to be valued or loved by a man – because I don’t have fake tits or come with “instant gratification” mode.

Sex with us commoners is boring to them

They hate our existence in general

The divorce rate is 85% and 1 in 5 men have an STD.

I know I’m boring and cheap so why you looking anyway.

You can’t afford me.

Honestly, it’ll take a miracle to get me to date now knowing one in five can give you cancer (there are some known parasites that can be spread through human contact) (they didn’t give us the nitty gritty in school but I got the good education some of the time)

Research parasites that cause cancer – then “human contact” (they won’t tell you it’s in the man’s sperm)

But you can catch a parasite from a cat box or kissing on an animal or eating food

The labs aren’t designed to see them (with malicious intent and purpose)

The elites were plagued with parasites

LAUGHS

I live for God now (unless he finds me a husband without an STI/STD or porn addiction or addiction of any kind unless to me)

🤪

BABES you can do this

It’s not end all

I did a CARMAX offer

If the physical offer holds up near as good as the digital, I may bite

Suddenly want a car…

Love the Jeep to much

Took good care of her, she’s at 75K miles

Feel frighteningly suicidal but at least this way she’s safe out of my hands

I want a little feminine car

And maybe some work from home or a hotdog stand

Do not want to die here

Do not want this hand

RESET GAME

“Are you sure, all data will be removed”

NO YES

No car, no address!

LAUGHS

Needed to lighten my load

Buoyancy

So many people have died exploring caves.

The earth is alive

Stop selling sex toys in front of minors. Like what the fuck

1 in 5 men have an STD and a divorce or three on their belt.

I got new skates for Christmas. Too much value, too much fun.

I once lived for man but they are obsessed with porn stars and always have money to impress and spoil and buy sex workers.

They love the backdoors and backrooms. Even the cleanest of them, the ones you’d never suspect cheating most definitely are. They use burner phones, identities, and make good use of work away from home.

In college I learned one husband gave his wife HIV/AIDS but started medication without telling her thus sealing her fate (it’s illegal to do this but men do not care) (the medication did not work for her because they did not start it together and he kept infecting her)

1 in 5 y’all

I may leave America all together

It’s disgusting here

My neighbors are gross

I want my neighbors to be the crocodiles and the crows

And a man that isn’t infected or at risk or risky behavior

Stop looking at me

Keep back ten feet

(I also researched other countries and their sexual health isn’t any better)

My best friend always said before she died by suicide age thirteen, “don’t be silly, put a condom on your willy” – Meika Capps

Miss yah babe!

Posted on January 2, 2023 by poeeternal

In Case (poetry)

I tried to shake him off
He wouldn’t go
He’d only flutter
And bop around
Organize the clutter
Prepare for undertow
“I love you” he will mutter
In case I didn’t know…

He’s a very clever otter and must have been one in his previous life. He doesn’t mind my storms. He collects the debris to build a stable foundation and home. 🦦

New writing game. Write a poem about my mistakes. Tell the world.

Eminem made a name of himself being a fuck up and Edgar died on the street and I’m somewhere in between of I don’t know what’s next for me

So there’s your theme 🤪

I am dealing with some serious real life issues and it seems the devil enemy has got me surrounded

“I hate it here” John Jones

Hear, hear

All the shops are closed. I’m having a meltdown and they’re enjoying a 3-4 day calendar holiday that they invented

This timeline isn’t real

April fools because 13 months originally

When I realized two weeks ago that the entire world is not on the same calendar and Ethopia is seven years behind….

I sold my TV 📺

I have 8,000 photos scheduled for deletion

My best friend got rid of everything before she offed herself too

I just wanna move…

From this building to another off property and preferably out of city

I know it’s asking a lot when I don’t deserve anything

Or maybe I deserve better things

Than the things ~~people~~ monsters have destroyed

Turns out they look a lot like family and friends

I dunno, they’re all dead to me

I’m trying to ghost Apple

But I’ll likely have a comeback

It’s why I’m fighting for my life

It’s called will

Once you lose your will to survive, the mold will get you

Especially if your foundation was built on a swamp and is ran by an evil Chinese dictator overlord slumlord

GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY, DO NOT PASS GO

If globalism is the reason, the land keeps going up and all the taxes, then please for the love of fucking God, stop immigration

Living in a tent soon (if I’m lucks)

Ohhh tent never used – going in the to be sold at the pawn

One less item to worry with jumping ship

CMON John Jones! We getting da fuck outta here bro!

He ain’t been saving my life in vain….

(If only my therapist knew I was communicating with the dead)

(She knows about the holes in my wall…)

(She understands why the sex toys being sold in front of the children triggers me)

(Cuz I was sexually abused as a child)

(“Oh”) *quietly sobs*

The sins of the Father 🤩

Satan is the Devil ran by an evil Chinese dictator

I mean, I wrote a love poem.

It is the end of the world.

His love is the equivalent of “stopping to smell the bloody roses”.

I like when he cleans me hypothetically.

“You’ve got some on your nose…”

Posted on January 1, 2023January 1, 2023 by poeeternal

Same (poetry)

Midlife crisis
Or awakening
The sacrifices
They all look the same to me

First poem drop of the year

Posted on December 31, 2022December 31, 2022 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

Hell Responded (poetry)

I lost all my worth, but Jesus has loved the worst

The Moon
A dead star
God’s mirror
Of a big scar

The start and finish are harder than the middle
But I’m not with good with riddle
Games that cost so little
Will leave your soul so brittle

Faith can neither be created or destroyed
It must be born
Crippling sky torn
Heaven scorn

“Love is the anomaly” they wanna kill it all
Watch God fall
Satan’s protocol
Written on the wall

I’m judgment call
Duly sworn

It’s what we wanted
Hell responded
Despondent
Regret is constant
Trust not an option
The cost of conscience
Into the sun a comet
☄️
Blame me I done it
But the sun won’t quit

I’m sincere in my insincerity
I’ve done stopped caring
Veins swollen from crying
Waiting on the greys from climbing

I’m not moving to Astoria
A town of euphoria

Urgent! Your plan is going to expire!
Like your book, it’s going in the fire!
It’s time to retire!

From sea to summit
Tell God I’ve done it?

I made an experimental toasted coconut almond lemon cranberry pound cake – and I love cooking thangs God grows. Even melted 1 teaspoon of butter and squeezed an entire lemon over the butter – added zero sugar – and glazed the top of the loaf with the sugar-free lemon butter nom.

My life is a mess and I might soon be homeless but today there’s a lemon loaf God bless.

The shit at the deli / bakery is poisoned. And they are charging triple to murder you.

My loaf was made with love, 3 eggs, coconut milk and coconut oil. I tried to better it. Especially with unsweetened coconut flakes, cranberries, and whole almonds.

My entire kitchen is ripped out and boxed up. My lease is up in April. I’ve no idea what’s happening next.

This is why Edgar wound up on the street.

And, I’m selling everything I own.

Do you remember that scene in Made in Heaven?

Emmett (playing as himself as God)

“Because of you, I can only smoke on earth now…”

I am a troublemaker but do not want to fall to Satan (sidenote)

But the scene was on the road and Mikey looked like shit

And Emmit was scolding him still and calling him a drifter

Mikey got offended and puffing off away from said stranger accusing him of “only being able to smoke down here on earth” and “a drifter”

“Me… I’m drifting buddy…”

Emmit demanded, “where are you going” and with a puff of the wind knocked him down

Put his foot on him and told him he was running out of time to find her…

That entire scene of Mikey ripping off his cheap, fake jewelry and throwing his cup of beer in the mirror.

THAT SCENE IS MY LIFE

I’m also the girl crying in the street

Because time is running out…

Posted on December 30, 2022 by poeeternal

Warn (poetry)

This must be what it’s like for God to mourn
Fall down with thorn
Hope stillborn
I’m here to warn

The sign read: buy, sell, trade. But the sign was a lie. I plan to return and pass a note to the demon owner: it will flood again.

LAUGHS

“I’m only doing trades right now”.

I can’t wait to pass him a note like a little kid from school. Gonna skip off too.

He’ll be watching his monitors for weeks in a panic. Thinking I’m unhinged.

Laughs.

“The floods will come again”.

Posted on December 28, 2022 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

The Devil’s Hangman (mini rhyme & confessional)

There’s no ethics stored in science
And complaining is not compliance
I’m in hell on the wrong alliance
Now switching teams without guidance

Father is a predator
“I’m not good with metaphor”
Lies spun from the tongue
Feasting off the young

I’m so far segregated from my family tree
My neck is hanging

This place is cursed 🛑✋🛑

I’d rather live in a box
Out in the boondocks
Hunting with the crocs
Open meadows, zero locks

I hate it here
The neighbors in the rear
The cheaply atmosphere
Acting fake when not sincere
The fights always near
The loud knocking dear!!!

I wish therapy came with a cleaning course, demons have no remorse…

Like princess and the pea, I woke up with a needle under me….

So the reason I am so sensitive to sex toys being sold in front of children is because I was sexually abused as a child and my therapist kind of brought this point up to me yesterday, but it was a revelation point – like oh – I started crying.

And I am extremely triggered being exposed to sex toys especially when teenagers and children are around (my recent experience at the mall for example – I’ll never return). Humiliated and frightened to death. I don’t even own sex toys. It desensitizes the area. It’s Satanic (sorry not sorry) (manmade not of original design or use)

That stuff was always behind 21+ adult stores – behind black walls – the secret backrooms have become open orgy in the street.

This isn’t the same country I fought for. My values don’t match with what’s being forced on me.

My therapist has seen the worst of me and is proud of me. FYI. I’m like okay but there’s holes in my wall…

It took a lot to stop disassociating just to figure out what my values were and I know that they are not being a band, groupie propaganda whore, or sex bot

I have done some stripping in my life yes. But I was terrible at it. They all wanted more from me and got pissed when the answer was no. Pretty bias exists. The money no. I was rated a 5 in my 20s. Laughs out loud.

How to get rid of mold? Evacuate the premises. Don’t build on top a swamp ran by an evil Chinese dictator slumlord.

Gentrification is a thing, and the Fair Housing act just means this:

Base pay + give it time and they will start charging to wipe your ass

So forced to live in deplorable conditions – where white lives are in deletion (check the census asshole, it’s not just how people are reporting)

Black Lives Matter!!! White lives don’t!

Yay!!!!!!!

Being on fixed income doesn’t mean one can’t pay rent but now they are including all this other bullshit to keep people out 🚩

Who the fuck wants to pay $95 a month for cable reruns when the Internet is free?

Who the fuck wants to pay an extra $250 a month just to park their vehicle where they live?

Who the fuck wants someone else controlling their electricity and the temperature of their home?

The rich gents do. Gentrification. The Fair Housing act is bullshit.

Who the fuck wants to pay an extra $40 a month just to have storage space? Oh yeee a garage! That’ll be an extra fifty please. Go to jail. Do not pass go.

And… 100k in insurance for the cheap shit I no longer own!

$100 app fee ($25 in the 90s, it keeps creeping up each year) + now an additional $200 “admin fee”

Tell the pedos to get fucked

I’d rather live in a box

Than under BlackRock who are taking ownership of all the major towns and cities in the ungreat state of Florida, which has quickly turned to shit like California and New York, because the immigrants have fucking ruined it

I said what I said

Narcissism is a plague

Dogs were made in a lab in Asia and now they want to charge you for owning one in your home because pet rent you know and slavery

I hate living here as much as John Jones hates that cave

The map is hangman everywhere I go

And now they are fucking with the Second Amendment and trying to take our guns. By creating rules on who can own one if plagued by a mental illness (that they caused). Just like they changed the definition of a woman to benefit man. Anything to get closer to the children. Porn could be censored like our free speech. The way Elon Musk can censor a picture circulating of himself that he don’t like. Too much control and power. They don’t believe in God and they think they are gods. Just like they edited the Bible to suit their agenda. Condition you, change the rules. History rewritten before our eyes. But as long as you keep hitting your vape pen and being poly cuz lgbt is a cult and Satan is in society.

This timeline ain’t even real. Manmade traps to serve man only. They fucking hate women being in charge of creation and are destroying everything and plan to edit dna and rebuild a new earth where they are gods. It must end. 90% of all murders happen by men. Honeybees have a 50% reduced lifespan now thanks to gene editing. Human population is also down.

Doctors aren’t your friend. I’m not here to make amends; judgment hour: angel. What’s hard to comprehend? It’s hell or ascend.

Follow me if you wanna go off map and get lost….

RIP John Jones (as above, so below)

(What’s happening to me, happened to him)

Patterns are key to survival. Don’t ignore warnings or red flags.

The Great Void isn’t real. I want it to be but then I studied it. It’s made up to fit their expansion model. The Big Bang isn’t real. Science is fake. “We create our own reality”. Computers can’t feel. Please wake up.

I sold my TV.

I might be selling my military uniforms, but then I think oh my God, how fucking suicidal am I now

It’s this or the mold

I’m trying to escape gravity

Mold comes from the deep void

But the void ain’t real and we can’t leave earth

Since 1970 68% of all life has gone extinct

But now the honeybees are at 50% half-life thanks to science 😍

I watched a demon toss a live tree in the trash. Christmas is over. No remorse. What’s next to own and/or destroy? Fuck the poor. Fuck the white.

Fuck Native American too

Asia number one

Hurry die

Checkmate

Posted on December 26, 2022 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Local Void (poetry)

Alas, The Great Nothing
I warned what was coming
Every single morning
Why’s no one running?

I’m sick of slumming
Overlord act cunning
Tell him I’m humming
I’m done succumbing

Postscript *please do not read*

You ever have a near death experience that lasted a long time?

I just saw a demon toss a live tree in the trash.

Onto the next holiday.

Apparently honey bees have a reduced lifespan by 50% thanks to science.

I don’t recall voting on whether we were allowed to edit the DNA of bees.

Like I. Give. Up.

I’d really appreciate it if the doctors and scientists would stop killing everything. I know there’s a DNA ark in Antartica and since 1970 68% of all life has gone extinct and honey bees are half life cycle now – so chill.

Not made by China India Mexico

Stop World War 3! 🛑✋🛑

Wakey wakey!!!

The weed don’t work cuz they fucked with it

Stop wasting your money

Unless you got some non gmo herb from before the 90s

Asking for a friend

Mold kills more trees every year than fires or people

Mold is of intelligent design and evil

Mold is from the fucking void

It’s in the walls

It can shapeshift

It can control animals

It loves darkness, death, and decay

Violence

I’m convinced we’re in hell

And holidays aren’t real – manmade time traps

Stop cutting down trees to decorate and trash

Stop murdering everything you fucking demons

I fed the lizards chilling on the air conditioning units today

Feed the god damn animals

Save the trees 🌲

Posted on December 25, 2022December 25, 2022 by poeeternal

Undertow (poem)

Moving forward, turning corners, never finding home
Keep listening, less speaking, and most are always wrong
I go the distance that few ever roam
Universal lessons keep me on my own
Often tribulations can only be learned alone
Weakened and discouraged I’ll stop but not for long
My heart more calloused and hard like bone
Whatever it takes to keep me strong
With wisdom of knowing looking back will turn me to stone

And so this lesson I pack up and carry
The weight of them always seem to vary
Some are black and some are cherry
Some will taste like a strawberry
Some will make you say Hail Mary
Some are found in the obituary
Most will leave you cold and weary
With eyes that sting and oh so blurry
These streets have roadkill of doubt and worry

Self-medicate to try and heal
Get the energy to climb uphill
Another battle of self-will
Another demon I have to kill
Swallow the pain just like a pill
Buried deep so I can’t feel
There’s mostly lows and little thrill
And not an exit out of here
By now my soul is feeling ill
The answers here are never clear

Tie my boot without goodbye
Can’t sit around and watch me cry
More of those with every sigh
If you open and peer inside
It will appear tie-dye
Like an endless horizon in the sky
Pinks and purples which mystify
There my soul longs to fly
Not depths of low but certain high
And not a tear in my eye

You’ll never get close to me
I live by this decree
Very few are worthy
But God has a skeleton key
Buried under a Joshua Tree
Searching will leave you thirsty
The depths I’ve cried fill up a sea
And by this I’m already drowning
It’s past my knee
The undertow came quickly

Posted on December 24, 2022 by poeeternal

Unmapped (poetry)

I am unmapped
Perhaps a death trap
Mud and muck
Got stuck –
Waiting on the rapt

Classic yellow
Fellow mellow
But I’m not good with things
I’m not good with things
Broken gifts for kings

I identify as an angel
Tattooed “faithful”
Lost in the desert
Wandering
Capable
At hell’s round table
Stories like a fable
Morals undo Abel

This is your doing
The grief lying here
Patches on the wall
Want to disappear

Like the earth
She’s able to manifest dreams
Bursting at the seams
Whatever life deems
She’s our winning team
Lick her from the stream

Never. Been. More. Suicidal. In. My. Life. Yee-haw.

Merry Christmas y’all

(Don’t have plan B or Z but preparing for escape) (no, from the city asshole, not life)

(Try and keep up)

The new suicidal is saving your life, in daring attempts of escape. Instead of leaping from the bridge, finding safety where there is none.

Chilling on the ledge and don’t trust the rumble

Cliff breaks

Gotta climb high to find escape route…

Everything in the house is nearly gone

Gotta hire junk removal services or pay some locals in the neighborhood to drag it to back of property to the bin (cuz I’m too disabled to lift)

My parents did not properly socialize me for childhood or adulthood

“Sins of the father and the mother”

The reason I’m so angry is they are still alive getting away with atrocities

Sleeping sound…

“God damn all ye merry gentlemen”