He says, I ain’t worth a penny
Still eyes will stare, I am trendy
Fingers counting more than twenty
See me now, I am plenty
Spat on, shined up with envy
Tossed in water ever gently
Down into a well, my only entry
They all say that they don’t need me
Β© Delia Ross. 2020 @poeeternal



Last year on my birthday he serenaded me while dancing above me for like a solid minute and I nearly passed out, dizzies, FYI.
I’m just not responsible for how I act when I’m physically around him and in fangirl mode because I have zero control over my hormones. Welp. Since the age of 12. WHATEV. SECOND CRUSH. NO BIG DEAL.

I do sometimes curse him but last year on air he said I tell him the most beautiful things, which is also true. π

People think I’m in love with Gavin but I’m not, it’s just a silly crush I’ve had since I was age 12 and I’m insanely addicted to the music, it’s a music fan / artist relationship thing. He inspires me in different ways. He teaches me life lessons. Like how to stay alive when you don’t have the love of your life (he lost his big love- Gwen Stefani- they have 3 kids together. He has not replaced her).
Gavin Rossdale comes from that alternative scene where all his comrades are dying by suicide, which are basically his friends and I thought that we might lose him too when he lost Gwen Stefani (divorceeeee via humiliation, retaliation, he got to hear “used to love you” while walking in an airport. She didn’t take long to move on either, did she). Two thumbs down.ππ
But he hung onto his fans and he says that he needs us more than ever now. I know what he means. He promised me on air that he would never hurt himself. But I need him too. I’m an outcast. He knows that. He knows what that feels like. To be the lone wolf! For the most part he’s had to deal with the United Kingdom hating him. Even of today, they will refer to him as “who is he” (as if he is no one) or use him as a slight against Gwen Stefani, when it was her band opening up for Bush and not the other way around (he made her known, not vice versa).
Gav has seen me at my worse. He still jumps off the stage to give me hugs when he sees my face. It gives me the happy feels. To be seen. To feel I have an ounce of worth. To feel appreciated. Because to the rest of the world, I am invisible and just a number (including to the love of my life, who could care less of my existence. He’d replace me in an instance). But there’s nothing like the feel of when Gavin sets his sights on me, and is walking towards me, and I know he’s headed my way, it’s so intense, his expression. That feeling of, “he see’s me, he’s headed my way”, “I’m not lost in the crowd” and Gavin is the type of guy who never looks away from me, yet I always break eye contact!!!


Or like when he’s talking to his other fans, he’ll literally keep looking back at me and I always run away from him. I act stupid guaranteed. But like, I’m a soldier and he’s a king. He’s why I do these things. Basic. I need the music. Always have. Not just his music or art. All the things. Music keeps me going. Grounded. Alive. Couldn’t have survived the Iraqi war without it. Labor. Heartbreak. Loneliness. Poordom. Life.
Music is life. I need another gig. This century. THIS YEAR. COME ON 2020!!!



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Those photos with Bush are amazing!! ππ»ππ»
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I knows!!! I nearly peed myself when they arrived! Best birthday ever (so far). Gavin doesn’t pose a lot or often, and other fans have pointed this out to me. The Bush army hate me lol – that black jealousy stuff- but Gav is the leader of the Bush army and wants me at his shows! I HAZ WORTH.
I have a ton of photos of the actual band performing, which are amazing, but I’ve mostly kept my blog about my poetry. That’s about to change. Gonna start sharing more of my personal journey here as well as share the things that inspire me. Band photography and gigging is a huge one. And I’ve met lots of bands!
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That’s simply awesome βΊοΈ
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My little blog making it to 50K from people reading my poetry is enough recognition for me. Now I’m okay with sharing my band photography. I made it to nearly 60k over my poetry, not foot traffic via any other means. I was never in this for the money or popularity. Or to try and sell a book – which seems to be the only interests for many bloggers. Or getting popular on Instagram to sell a book. Meh. Bored. Moving on. Not my scene. (it’s literally like an intellectual fuck fest of fakery). And he’s all up in that bandwagon. What a fucking shame. Still running with the wrong crowds… Le sigh. I’d rather die.
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You have come so far on your journey. It’s great to see that Poe.
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LOL I only feel one step closer to my grave. But thankies!
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Noooo that’s not the case. Unless in a figurative sense. You have got so much to do Poe.
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I’m at the end of the ride LOL – hustling to get my art out while I got the chance. Clock is ticking.
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The clock is still long.
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Not on my end…
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I like your sincerity and integrity. Qualities worth fighting for ππ»ππ»ππ»
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And you have a great future ahead of you
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The future doesn’t exist. Now is the only thing that matters.
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Ok, well then your now is awesome! ππ»βΊοΈ
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Finally fighting to do the things I love, instead of fighting for others to do the things they love.
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Yes, that’s right. Just be you. The future will take care of itself. You can do brilliantly through your creative art.
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