Do you ever find my words enchanting?I’m late posting these…I’m still alive despite the pandemic growing in Florida…Invoke me with your words pleaseeee
I’m depressed, moody, withdrawn, emotionally detached, unavailable in every capacity. People swear they get it up until they’re screaming profanities at me for how evil I am for not giving them my time (or love for that matter). I am a fallen angel and a creature of the underground, I’m not capable of love. But a monster I am not. Just simply void and numb. Sorry not sorry. SURVIVAL MODE
What does all this mean? Depression means I’m incapable of forming attachments. Or joy. Writing is my only escape. It was my escape when I was a little girl and couldn’t escape all the abuse. I wrote poetry in between classes at school. On the bus. On the toilet. And guess what? I still do. Only now I’m sharing this part of me WITH YOU. But I lose friendships and followers because I’m unable to maintain communication right now. I keep telling people I’m depressed and suicidal but it’s like wind over the ears. They still need me to provide a service for them. I cannot. I barely can brush my teeth on some days. This is not me you’re meeting but some ruined version of what I might have could of been… (and yes under all the suicidal ideation I am gentle and loving and worth saving). So bye.
“Just another lost angel”…
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They need me up until I’m muted Chances are I’ve done something that couldn’t be disputed But when it comes to compassion it’s poorly executed And when I try my hand at warmth it comes across polluted
I’m pulling and I’m pulling for his wings to be uprooted There once was a time his heart could be recruited But cheap romance and chugs of lies was a game he felt more suited In truth he won and always will his wit can be saluted
Watching your love of others is feeling black holes collide And though I brush off jealousy my heart is gaping wide Fantasy a haunted garden where dreams are cyanide And watching you adoring her a spear into my side
Many you need but I only breathe for one And love you I may I’ll always be on the run The weight of the shame and remorse for all I have done Mistakes I have made but none that should permanently shun
It’s like you are a mountain crumbling down on me Harsh is your punishment and I’m having trouble breathing And call out I may but silence is loudly ringing Daily reminders I’m not what you’re needing
What am I but rotting flesh worshipping the dead With a noose around my neck hung up on things you said Tireless were my efforts turning obsession into bread Knowing every hour there was darkness up ahead
What am I but skeletons for your throne A path to a garden where nothings ever grown A stage for your eyes where all my soul is shown Humiliation for despair now breeding in my bone
I miss coming up for air After your words would knock the wind out Even now the winter blizzard of your cold shoulder is predictable My cries and shivers numbs the void My face with permanent icicles And yet the sun will rise and the rooster crow And in a circle you will go
I miss when your tongue was a rogue wave How you made time another dimension Every syllable unearthing a treasure I will be your clown in a daze I am still a slave to your will Feed me scraps so I can feel
I miss the g-force rush of synchronicity Felt the Earth spinning with every metaphor and ending When caution was but a dark cloud passing And notifications were promises of heaven My lungs would fill with air after moments of dying Joy was the fuel that kept me from crying
oh hi my loves. i’ve just dropped some free spoken word on my Patreon campaign, as a thank you for supporting my campaign / & my blog. i hope you will enjoy it. ❤
Your words have heavy impact Formed craters from contact But now forever’s been taken back Honest is always what you lack
Hardcore truth in reality Desired is what I’ll never be Clouds of darkness chasing me Can’t undo what has been seen
Grasping at straws for a meaning Wishing for value just for an evening But cold is the hand you are leaning “I’m sorry” are words you are never repeating
I would die with you Without you dying too So begins the cycle anew Drowning in your blue
Walls, steel cage, or death I still loved you best Better than the rest You know I loved you best
If you are an avid reader of this blog, please consider supporting my work by subscribing to my campaign on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
He’s going down a road I’ll never be taking But that doesn’t stop the moon every night from breaking Getting more rest won’t stop me from aging And long are the hours in shame we are aching
He’s a golden statue crumbling down The crown he wears just drags the ground He’ll likely beg where she is bound A noose around his fate was found
What is truth but feeling numb And watching others acting dumb Why have one when none’s a sum When you predict every outcome
I chewed off more than I can bite It’s possible I’ll die tonight I’m not okay but that’s alright You’ll never see me make it right
I’ve been approved by the state for medical. There’s so much fear mongering about it uggg. I’ll likely do a blog post about it. Is this still a safe place!?!
The Earth took a tremble and shake With every lie you create Magma still flowing In the direction I’m now going
The sky took a breath with thunder in her chest and we’re both crying I can’t stop you though from spying But the stars have since been hiding We’re through trying
The Sun has changed his point of view With every breath that we drew And every crack you fell through This is how to stop loving you
If you dig my writing, you can support my advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
I felt him swing from the heavens, into my heart he went And from the bowels of the netherworld, my soul came to ascent Our orbits must have collided, I have been feeling him ever since Collecting more than fraying feathers, I’m not that innocent
Watching him grow cold and devilish, while following his gradual descent Vision crossing planks of inability, I cannot stop these events Burning chains on regret, dragging around feet like they are blocks of cement The weight of consequence in this pit, the dead can still lament
There’s something degrading about growing old Detach myself from the world and you, hit entropy, it’s cold Onward consequence leaves little to ever behold Still can’t seem to sever the switch that gives you complete control
I hope I haven’t misspelled any words, I have anxiety over that now lol. 🤓 It’s probably not about any one guy. It’s just a poem.But maybe they need to come with a disclaimer (it’s not about you I swear) 😄😃😄
Some videos featuring me and my dream to get to Mars! Watch for my name under candidates, this video gives me tears (my name is Delia Ross): https://youtu.be/SwT4pTusyVw
My Facebook Mars Candidacy page will have more info buried over the years with more vids, links to a podcast I did, Mars One updates when I was still a candidate in the running! I’m obsessed with Mars if you haven’t guessed by now… Feel free to follow my page! It’s probably worth reading back the post from when I was a candidate with Mars One! 😄 https://www.facebook.com/deliatomars
A hat in Florida is imperative. Anybody out there keeping up with Elon Musk? He’s always got his hands into making Earth a better place but all of the profits are for funding to get to Mars. Like this hat. They are digging some futuristic tunnels in New York I think. The Boring Company. Clever. It’s a nice cap too, stitched logo, 100% cotton, velcro clapse, not plastic. He was selling it a couple years back during xmas. Twenty bucks and it included shipping. Profits for Mars I had to invest lmao. Any chance I can be a nerd but many won’t understand the logo. 🙂 He sold 50K hats LOL I gots 1. It’s for Mars dude. I’m trying to stay alive to see the first humans land. I wanna hitch a ride! 😄 https://www.boringcompany.com/
People always pushing, always rushing, like they’re racing to die They will try to hide it but you can see it in their eye I don’t know what I’m doing but I know it’s going to make me cry And I know you said you’re sorry but sorry won’t do it this time
He’s never once said he enjoys my stories My poetry, my writing, he must find it boring While everyone else gets all the glory I am left with nothing but worries
Are they lips or avenues where my dreams can run amuck Where I travel on your roads and can never get enough Are they words or are they spells teaching me how to conduct Are they pieces of a puzzle made for me to now construct?
Are they eyes or vivid skies the way they sparkle when I’m by Or just a cloud for me to ride when my hope is running dry Are they tears or is it rain singing me a lullaby A double rainbow passing through changing sorrow to a sigh?
I write words for you grander than statues And still you would tear me into I collect rubble I stitch together fragments of time Your broken dreams are alive I give them life! And still you flew
I hold onto your dying breath like a pearl I show it heaven too But you are a fool
I told God you are forgetful You know not what you do But you knew Breaking my wings into Here they are for you
Wrapped and bleeding Like echoes singing Needless needing
They aren’t cherished in the places I go Still I can’t let go When I need you so
I buried my heart where you broke it Now it can’t be found I keep walking around Searching underground
I have a moral code, it’s angelic You wouldn’t get it
You keep chasing the wrong lines I’m writing overtime You keep committing crimes I’m begetting rhymes
They are gifts for a halfwit
I know it’s easier for you to slumber in hell Than chase steps to get well Heaven’s quite a long trail I went missing there
I hope one day to find my heart again My eyes grow tired from what it’s seen My feet are walking from this dream A nightmare encasing
I’m not well, can’t you tell? But like a comet I fell For you
Even angels fall Even angels crawl I am not that tall Underneath it all
Why are you a moon behind a cloud? Exterminating the sun And everything I’ve done I don’t have the gumption to fight the blues These depths you send me to are pressurized Why do you flank my fears Have I not sacrificed enough tears? My blood thick of you And every molecule I’m stuck like glue Can you erase me from your shit list Sketch a smile or two? I do not fare well When feet are quicksand Head sinking too Your berries are poison but I ate a few Just to taste the bitterness you accrue Just to feel the things you do Why do you lead me to darkness? All these acres feels like abandonment The atmosphere tenuous Like the link of us How do you forget? Was it as quick as lightning Your exit? Still I trace your silhouette I find clues on my doorstep Was that your regret? Leaving me too soon? Is that my tears you collect? Is defeat what you accept? Please return this June Preferably by noon
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If I placed within your palm the center of my heart Would you set it on a wooden pyre Wrapped in silk and laced with fire Soot and ashes for your quill of black art?
Would you rather have a table Burning candles like starlight Where you’d hold me like I’m life Would my love you’d gently cradle?
In the parlance of our language Like lovers at defeat When I’m begging at your feet Are these poems here to anguish?
In your heart do I expand Like galaxies slowly forming Or am I just another warning Like the dead who died because they’re damned?
There are mountains crumbling inside of me Boulders sun-warmed from your thick voice Moss-covered limbs reaching for your skies Cobbles and pebbles charged from your breath and lightening You belong in these darkened caves Mining for affection You are a Thunder God shaking my core I rattle from longing Round me up as bedrock for your feet Walk all over me Take these stones and build your kingdom I fall for you Like a gentle slope bowing Climb these craggy edges Claim your territory I hunger for you Like a century-long thirst Come feel my rivers rush The way I gush for your tongue
There are galaxies growing full on regret with spiral arms chasing all it can get.
I should have been more careful with words The way they hollow out the bone And some forgive, some repent, most return the stone
His words are a ruse, perhaps a bruise, a broken home, where I still choose
He is my muse, a sun or fuse, a high with blues, regret in two’s
He’s got bullets for hands Fingers like loaded magazines With a mouth full of conniption His life is nothing but fiction And he’s all but evil in his genes
I’m so tired of carrying this cross; the weight of everything I’ve done. These last steps have only shown loss; and coming last, the loneliness I won.
Will you remember me when I’m only dust? When failed dreams are all but rust? Will you remember what we discussed? Will you keep safe my love of us?
Take your broken piece Take my broken bits Align them together Broken pieces that fits
The good die The wicked live The faithful cry The sinful don’t forgive
There’s only room in the world for the wicked Trust might be earned but you won’t keep it
Shuddering since the day my eyes befell you
What are you if not the every breath I take
The sight of his lip makes me weak The sound of his voice makes me tremble The way the blue in his eye makes me hunger Trip and fall under
He came stumbling in half-drunk on whiskey and regret Any feelings he hadn’t killed them yet
His voice in a low rumble Makes my atoms jumble Feel them roll and stumble How I crumble Now I’m humble
I could listen to his voice for hours Swallowing all eternity He plants words in me like flowers Growing taller is the love we need
You step out of my dream and into existence and take me for a moonlit walk With night flowers blooming and hours still looming the Moon carefully gawks My hands you are holding with energy flowing your lips where my kisses dock And our shadows growing where love comes out flowing our hearts beating like clocks
I’ve got 5 grams of darkness left for sale And an army of fears in a pale There’s a case of worry over there And for an upgrade you can go to hell
I can feel my face literally breaking From the pain in my chest where my heart is still aching Roads become regrets we are constantly taking
I wonder what color my hair is underneath all this shame
Come back my love Where my wild winds are blowing
It’s the end of the world today A sad parade And marching out slowly the hope that will fade
Sometimes he hurts me just to watch the sea level rise
I have night terrors and unholy cries My worth so little not worth goodbyes The days might be changing but not these grey skies
But for moments lost with you I forgot about the war
Or what I’m searching for
I open every door
Love me now Before you can’t anymore
I’m his bird Carefully observed Pecking away at his every word My hope reserved And hell deserved But love is here And well preserved
She comes hard around the edges Never smooth like Vaseline Her heart was made with vines among thick hedges Growing thorns from things she’d seen How she traces every inch of his ledges Flourishing just like a queen There are secrets leaking from sworn pledges Lies and blood are guaranteed
He knows the answer but still he will ask, why does the sky cry rain? Knowing that the clouds carry all our weight and pain.
He ravages the Earth and pierces her with his spear, then asks, what are we doing here? Feels like our grave. The end was coming anyway, he’ll say.
He says, love has no direction, while spinning in a circle. And he never sets his eyes on her. He’s lost connection. And all of yesterday. It’s just a shame. The answer is always the same.
It’s not the best house but it’s definitely not the worst And if you think I’m worthless well honey you’re not the first And if you think I’m perfect well your bubble I’m here to burst And if you blame obsession I know I’ve got the thirst
I may not be a diamond but I’m definitely not a curse And if you’re wanting love well my heart left in a hearse I might have said I loved you once or twice in verse But if I stick around I’ll likely make it worse
Fallen Angel (self-portrait)I know I don’t matter. You made that clear. I don’t base my worth on you or my sometimes mistakes. People grow, people change. At least, I do. You’re likely holding onto versions of me that no longer exist. I’ve said my sorries, I’ve made my peace.
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You must be an alchemist Changing storms into words Are your hands magic? Touching every part of me Do you practice divination? The way you see into my soul Your eyes must be crystal Casting spells of longing You have complete control I am just fire scrying Your flame dancing To your thunderous voice To your incantations Your ink must be supernatural Enchanting my entire existence For I do not remember life before your words The sun shines differently now I see only you Clawing at my door Wishing for something more I am her The one you wrote into existence Am I your favorite page? Or just a closed book collecting dust My cover torn and worn But aching for your magic Open me up once again Put flame into these bones Come back to my forests I am waiting for you Heal me with your lips Invoke me Give me life once more
Lost somewhere in his stratosphere (self portrait 5/26/2020)
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Why did you go? Where did you lead us? There are armies bleeding tears which swell and swallow whole moons Why did you take the light with you to leave us here to croon? My hope floats on fear all afternoon Sometimes the darkness is blinding And always there reminding It got you too soon Reason only comes in brigades of sorrow Where doubt peeks its head at tomorrow But cowers behind the window Why did you fall after the show? Now all the angels trow There are chains on the month of May The Earth pulling the days Our eyes are pulk You lost your way All the days are heavy Like heaven falling on its knee That’s where we plea Please don’t you leave! Where are the steps to find you? Our godfather of grunge Our black sun There is little truth in flame Are drugs to blame? You were the sun to somebody, everybody Every day We will remember your name I am the same Living decay Now where will the summer lead Where will the sun fade
Written for and dedicated to Chris Cornell of Soundgarden who died by suicide (poem and photo edits by me @poeeternal) RIP 💔💔💔
Chris Cornell (edit by me)Chris Cornell (edit by me)
If you dig my writing, you can support my advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
I saw him stargazing The way a painter stares at a blank canvas What wonders were revealed? Did he see me barefoot on my tippytoes reaching for his lips The way clouds summit a mountain? What hour caught him off guard What did he find? Fragments of my soul written for him in rhyme? Did he see us moving Like starlight in the sky?
If you dig my writing, you can support this advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
I once could feast on him but only from afar There are continents that separate our hope His smooth head has been polished by time I long to run my fingers over his kingdom But my feet are not wanted on his land That doesn’t stop the stars falling every night for his love The moon perched on fantasy His poems are auras in my soul God made it so The storms he brew in me Where will the rain fall now? Who will wash your feet? The way I’ve done after you’ve murdered me An outcast for mercy Forgiveness I cried Gullibility my only ally The gardens do not grow the way they used to Not since he banished hope All welcome but you need not apply You’re not worth my time The moment I died
My halls are haunted now By dreams that never came And all the things we could have done Are all that do remain
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal
I am not wanted on his side of the green And so moments are missing to never be seen But lines I’ll keep writing and say what I mean As forests keep growing with us in between And lost in the woods is hope it would seem
Sunlight won’t reach beyond regret And wishing for things you never will get When you have bet zero but still have a debt He says you are nothing but does with a sweat He says he’s not looking while eyes growing wet
And now vines contain our poetry And vessels of longing out on the sea My side of town he’s always burning Blaming the sun for how he’s yearning How he wants none if he can’t have all of me
Your words have sharp edges The tips are poison They pierce my skin like butter How easy they hit my heart You the Trojan Horse And your army of lies I dance for them like a buffoon Their laughter drowns my cries But still my head is to the moon I stare at wonder I remember hope It once was a playground I ran around with naivety They mock what they can’t control I am still free Going places with the stars They can’t touch me Words are arrows yes But feet are healing Truth my blanket Saturn knows and her rings Cracks upon my frozen face She knows That’s why her northern poles glow She’s crying, longing and cold But even wrongs need embraces And that’s why light-seconds existed Galaxies out there granting wishes I know more than you know
Were you planning a murder? You assemble letters and vowels like death Like the mercy you don’t harbor When I’m running out of breath
Did you know you’d be the executioner’s hand? Precisely in depth to know how it would land There’s a crater where my soul has bled Ashes where your words were tread
Did you plan a heist to gather the stardust? Were you aware I’d combust One tiny heart shattered As if it never mattered
There’s a dim dot glowing Where love was exposed There’s a heavy price knowing My soul decomposed
Where am I to go when your words are a maze They lead to heaven and purgatory Why do you leave pieces of your heart like breadcrumbs for me to find Did you mean to hold me in contempt The way starlight holds in my love for you I die over and over here What do you do with the pieces that break off me while carrying you A casualty of two You say you want me gone but won’t let me leave I’ve climbed every inch of these walls Blood holds them up now Coagulated and full of tears I almost saw the sun disappear forever But now confusion fills these halls I would die a thousand ways for you And have Sometimes my clouds block the view Oh, and I’m calling too “Over here, over here, see” But too many clouds wouldn’t let you do You stay so far from reach like the moon Getting close, getting closer, gone We live in the same galaxy But my escape velocity is you I nearly escaped but like an eclipse you appeared I can hear the trumpets bellow Or maybe my heart pounding under the mass of you Waking me from the nightmares you haunt I scream and hear endless echoes “Please just let me die” And die I do only to be born again crying “Please just let me die” I don’t know what’s dream or reality anymore But can hell be any more real than now? You stripped me of my wings You plucked me of my feathers You tell me I’m no good You say I’m broken anyhow Then kick me while I’m down You grab me by the throat Drag me up with your claws in my vein You say I stench of love And spit in my face You scold me and tell me there’s nothing to love here So I believe you and stop loving myself Please just let me die…
You break me. Only to put me back together and then break me again. And then together. Like the tide pulling. Every wave shaping me. Over and under, your tug and pull. I can’t escape your gravity. Tidal locked. Sometimes your waves are gentle and other times your undertow holds me down. Like the gravity of my mistakes. And your punishments are a tsunami. Drowning and then washed safely ashore. I ache for you in places I didn’t know existed.
When you return So too the tide And the color in my eye When you are by
The way I churn When you are near The stars appear My life’s not drear
Each wave a yearn An endless shore Where I want more You the seashore
I want to earn Your every surge You give me urge The deepest merge
My god when you rise, rise you do. The way you swell, swallow me.
I’m on a social media detoxIn case you hadn’t noticed
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. If you dig my stuffs, please check out my campaign & subscribe!! www.patreon.com/poeeternal
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Block the cold winds blowing from the north Frozen in time mistakes keep you from moving forth Like the heavy winds from the north You stop and weap Holding down a crumbling fort Eight days a week You carry regret like a torch Reminder: time is short
After midnight poetry. Stuff in my head.
Open quarters Small circles Blown mortars Follow orders Closed borders Such horror
All blurs No cures Blood pours More tours Four doors His wars
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Has reason ever opened its wings for you On cool spring mornings Like seeing the world for the first time in color The way your blue drapes over the skies Have you ever seen your slight smile shining like a crescent moon The way it hangs over my heart like you do With hands strong as timber Planting your roots in my veins I found you so feebly Why did you disappear so deep into darkness What if my hand never touches your skin That’s how oceans form in deserts The way you planted life in me From a single drop of your pen Or the first time I heard you speak Water rolling in covering my sumits I need you You are the air I breathe Every thought, every molecule I crush through your secrets like photons do You should identify as a galaxy Can you see your reflection in my eyes There, the big bang I’m still forming from your words You could be 93 million miles from me and you’d still only take a light-second to reach me You can run but you can’t hide from existence You must find my vibrations through space-time Echoing and longing for your thunder Lightning is when you see me Your voice causes my soul to have earthquakes The way you make me shake You are the dark and the light I want all of you Like a raging fire ravishing a forest Cracking open seeds So life can begin I start and end with you You are my forever
Welp, I still love you. I was soul-sleeping til you found me.I haven’t slept since. Obsession or love, it’s all the same.
Bathroom selfie. Quarantine sucks. And ZERO GIGS THIS YEAR. ZERO. My dreams are always fucking nightmares anyway…
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal
I propose love’s not a theory. But the person I’m growing into is because of him. My light shines because of him. My dark knight.
I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Quarantine day # I forgot. Isolation wearing me down. And these boring ass snapchat filters. Planning a field trip to the grocery store soon. How exciting. I can get pictures of the shopping aisles. Woo hoo.
PoeEternal 