Staring up from down below Heaven fell further than I know The wind gets cold Like regret growing old With a heart of stone Set in gold Or hearing whispers “I told you so” Where are angel’s not to go? God told me to love him whole The sinner yes so I tread his road Ready to take on intruders, I’m bold He says friend, I say foe There’s complications in the fold Missings cards like hands, I need him though Dropping SOS’s where his feet have strolled Sights to behold Or heartaches sold
To be honest, I just wanted to keep going with this rhyme flow. I gotta stop putting on the breaks. I’m feeling pages, can you roll?
Moonstone if you’ve ever wondered. I wrote an essay in college once on the healing properties and energetic properties of stone and blew my professor away. I’m going to get back into to meditation sessions soon. Just trying to find my self-esteem and what’s left of my pride after my last nuclear meltdown. I’m radioactive. And collapsing in on myself.
This goes without saying but, I get insanely jealous of the attention he gives other girls. Like black jealousy. And my doctors at the VA don’t understand this kind of love or obsession. They don’t even understand why I’m scared of asteroid Apophis. Whatever. You can’t cure these things. Love is the only acceptable remedy. He just needs to kiss me. Shimples.
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Awoke before sunrise, far below the clouds Lost hope before his eyes, fell below the crowds I stopped to smell his lies, now I’m seeking shrouds Though somnolent were his cries, now his pain enshrouds
I wish I could get some sleep. I guess I will when I die.
I’m on the Patreon, if you dig my writing and photography or digiart, there’s loads of EXCLUSIVE CONTENT up! You get cool perks for pledging and I get to keep writing and running my blog advert free! I really like writing! I’ve been practicing my art since I was a little girl, thank you for giving me the opportunity to do it professionally!
Do you recall When you were lost In purgatory of the loss So numb in the dark No light or a spark How much I cared?
If you remember I held your crown I took your cross Through the desert and across All your sins at no costs Though your pain has been shared
If you flush your eyes Stop looking down Where your heart knows holocaust Clear the fog and the frost Find your soul where I’m embossed And stop asking where
Did I tell y’all I caved after 9 months and broke my New Year’s resolution of not dying my hair by dying my hair Black Number 1 just in time for Halloween? I dids! 😂My hair is still growing long. Not allowing another hairdresser to touch my hair cuz they’re all just average and do everything I ask them not to do. Never gonna Botox my lines. I earned every one of those. For the record, most of the girls that are idolized online have fake long hair, fake nails, ect but this is what guys prefer which is why I have little to no support… I’m “real”. I still feel like a true goddess, you know, the kind the world has abandoned for being “too good” or “too opinionated” or for simply being “too me”. These snaps don’t show the blackness of the black. But glad to be back black. It’s my favorite color and my mom and sister have the color naturally. Nope, not me. Just had to be different. AKA difficult. Despite all the enemies made and hate in the world, I recently managed to turn 42 years of age, without one gray fucking hair or piece of plastic in my body… SORRY NOT SORRY. GO AHEAD AND DENY ME FOR NOT MEETING YOUR FAKE BEAUTY STANDARDS.
To him: I love you still so much tho, even when I’m no longer around to say. And you should print these because it’s not true about things staying online forever. I’ll always wonder what life with you would be like because being with you is the only life I want to live… 💞
Still crying by the way. The sloppy, eye makeup running down with my snot and tears kind of crying. I love you. Even tho you deny my existence just like the world and Judus denied Jesus Christ.
Do you also deny that someone existed with that name who got crucified? Or just that fairytale of a bible that man tries to sell you to try to keep you from acting like a beast, tho you still do, but donate to charity or the church or in other ways to ease your conscience instead (to whomever the shoe fits)?
You could try running to me instead of the bottom of the bottle.
You could try acknowledging my existence again.
Fool. I love you stewpids. So much it god damn hurts. God damn these endless tears!!!
Or deny me a third, fourth, fifth, what number are we on my love? Betrayed with a kiss. Oh, Judas…
Break the chain, break the link, don’t wanna be in sync The way your eyes and my eyes leak The way we talk but never speak The days prowl on and we are weak But life is cruel and so are we And I guess we are both guilty But neither life is a life free And that is why we’re bleeding ink
Couldn’t sleep because I’m dreaming of you (so I wrote this instead)… The love of my life. His name is Sam. He’s got some teeth issues going on, and other medical stuff, but he enjoyed our day out. Look at that smile.
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I climbed into his void like a womb Still I tell myself he’ll return soon Months go by it’s just me and the moon I guess my words did not make him swoon
I wear his absence in a darkened shroud Repentance for mistakes not allowed I hover over him like a cloud I kick and scream loudly as a child
I trust all the the time he is a liar And I don’t believe he didn’t feel my fire There is no cure to kill this growing pyre Well he went away but he didn’t take desire
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Watching your love of others is feeling black holes collide And though I brush off jealousy my heart is gaping wide Fantasy a haunted garden where dreams are cyanide And watching you adoring her a spear into my side
Many you need but I only breathe for one And love you I may I’ll always be on the run The weight of the shame and remorse for all I have done Mistakes I have made but none that should permanently shun
It’s like you are a mountain crumbling down on me Harsh is your punishment and I’m having trouble breathing And call out I may but silence is loudly ringing Daily reminders I’m not what you’re needing
What am I but rotting flesh worshipping the dead With a noose around my neck hung up on things you said Tireless were my efforts turning obsession into bread Knowing every hour there was darkness up ahead
What am I but skeletons for your throne A path to a garden where nothings ever grown A stage for your eyes where all my soul is shown Humiliation for despair now breeding in my bone
Your words have heavy impact Formed craters from contact But now forever’s been taken back Honest is always what you lack
Hardcore truth in reality Desired is what I’ll never be Clouds of darkness chasing me Can’t undo what has been seen
Grasping at straws for a meaning Wishing for value just for an evening But cold is the hand you are leaning “I’m sorry” are words you are never repeating
I would die with you Without you dying too So begins the cycle anew Drowning in your blue
Walls, steel cage, or death I still loved you best Better than the rest You know I loved you best
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He’s going down a road I’ll never be taking But that doesn’t stop the moon every night from breaking Getting more rest won’t stop me from aging And long are the hours in shame we are aching
He’s a golden statue crumbling down The crown he wears just drags the ground He’ll likely beg where she is bound A noose around his fate was found
What is truth but feeling numb And watching others acting dumb Why have one when none’s a sum When you predict every outcome
I chewed off more than I can bite It’s possible I’ll die tonight I’m not okay but that’s alright You’ll never see me make it right
I’ve been approved by the state for medical. There’s so much fear mongering about it uggg. I’ll likely do a blog post about it. Is this still a safe place!?!
The Earth took a tremble and shake With every lie you create Magma still flowing In the direction I’m now going
The sky took a breath with thunder in her chest and we’re both crying I can’t stop you though from spying But the stars have since been hiding We’re through trying
The Sun has changed his point of view With every breath that we drew And every crack you fell through This is how to stop loving you
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I felt him swing from the heavens, into my heart he went And from the bowels of the netherworld, my soul came to ascent Our orbits must have collided, I have been feeling him ever since Collecting more than fraying feathers, I’m not that innocent
Watching him grow cold and devilish, while following his gradual descent Vision crossing planks of inability, I cannot stop these events Burning chains on regret, dragging around feet like they are blocks of cement The weight of consequence in this pit, the dead can still lament
There’s something degrading about growing old Detach myself from the world and you, hit entropy, it’s cold Onward consequence leaves little to ever behold Still can’t seem to sever the switch that gives you complete control
I write words for you grander than statues And still you would tear me into I collect rubble I stitch together fragments of time Your broken dreams are alive I give them life! And still you flew
I hold onto your dying breath like a pearl I show it heaven too But you are a fool
I told God you are forgetful You know not what you do But you knew Breaking my wings into Here they are for you
Wrapped and bleeding Like echoes singing Needless needing
They aren’t cherished in the places I go Still I can’t let go When I need you so
I buried my heart where you broke it Now it can’t be found I keep walking around Searching underground
I have a moral code, it’s angelic You wouldn’t get it
You keep chasing the wrong lines I’m writing overtime You keep committing crimes I’m begetting rhymes
They are gifts for a halfwit
I know it’s easier for you to slumber in hell Than chase steps to get well Heaven’s quite a long trail I went missing there
I hope one day to find my heart again My eyes grow tired from what it’s seen My feet are walking from this dream A nightmare encasing
I’m not well, can’t you tell? But like a comet I fell For you
Even angels fall Even angels crawl I am not that tall Underneath it all
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There are galaxies growing full on regret with spiral arms chasing all it can get.
I should have been more careful with words The way they hollow out the bone And some forgive, some repent, most return the stone
His words are a ruse, perhaps a bruise, a broken home, where I still choose
He is my muse, a sun or fuse, a high with blues, regret in two’s
He’s got bullets for hands Fingers like loaded magazines With a mouth full of conniption His life is nothing but fiction And he’s all but evil in his genes
I’m so tired of carrying this cross; the weight of everything I’ve done. These last steps have only shown loss; and coming last, the loneliness I won.
Will you remember me when I’m only dust? When failed dreams are all but rust? Will you remember what we discussed? Will you keep safe my love of us?
Take your broken piece Take my broken bits Align them together Broken pieces that fits
The good die The wicked live The faithful cry The sinful don’t forgive
There’s only room in the world for the wicked Trust might be earned but you won’t keep it
Shuddering since the day my eyes befell you
What are you if not the every breath I take
The sight of his lip makes me weak The sound of his voice makes me tremble The way the blue in his eye makes me hunger Trip and fall under
He came stumbling in half-drunk on whiskey and regret Any feelings he hadn’t killed them yet
His voice in a low rumble Makes my atoms jumble Feel them roll and stumble How I crumble Now I’m humble
I could listen to his voice for hours Swallowing all eternity He plants words in me like flowers Growing taller is the love we need
You step out of my dream and into existence and take me for a moonlit walk With night flowers blooming and hours still looming the Moon carefully gawks My hands you are holding with energy flowing your lips where my kisses dock And our shadows growing where love comes out flowing our hearts beating like clocks
I’ve got 5 grams of darkness left for sale And an army of fears in a pale There’s a case of worry over there And for an upgrade you can go to hell
I can feel my face literally breaking From the pain in my chest where my heart is still aching Roads become regrets we are constantly taking
I wonder what color my hair is underneath all this shame
Come back my love Where my wild winds are blowing
It’s the end of the world today A sad parade And marching out slowly the hope that will fade
Sometimes he hurts me just to watch the sea level rise
I have night terrors and unholy cries My worth so little not worth goodbyes The days might be changing but not these grey skies
But for moments lost with you I forgot about the war
Or what I’m searching for
I open every door
Love me now Before you can’t anymore
I’m his bird Carefully observed Pecking away at his every word My hope reserved And hell deserved But love is here And well preserved
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Why did you go? Where did you lead us? There are armies bleeding tears which swell and swallow whole moons Why did you take the light with you to leave us here to croon? My hope floats on fear all afternoon Sometimes the darkness is blinding And always there reminding It got you too soon Reason only comes in brigades of sorrow Where doubt peeks its head at tomorrow But cowers behind the window Why did you fall after the show? Now all the angels trow There are chains on the month of May The Earth pulling the days Our eyes are pulk You lost your way All the days are heavy Like heaven falling on its knee That’s where we plea Please don’t you leave! Where are the steps to find you? Our godfather of grunge Our black sun There is little truth in flame Are drugs to blame? You were the sun to somebody, everybody Every day We will remember your name I am the same Living decay Now where will the summer lead Where will the sun fade
Written for and dedicated to Chris Cornell of Soundgarden who died by suicide (poem and photo edits by me @poeeternal) RIP 💔💔💔
Chris Cornell (edit by me)Chris Cornell (edit by me)
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I once could feast on him but only from afar There are continents that separate our hope His smooth head has been polished by time I long to run my fingers over his kingdom But my feet are not wanted on his land That doesn’t stop the stars falling every night for his love The moon perched on fantasy His poems are auras in my soul God made it so The storms he brew in me Where will the rain fall now? Who will wash your feet? The way I’ve done after you’ve murdered me An outcast for mercy Forgiveness I cried Gullibility my only ally The gardens do not grow the way they used to Not since he banished hope All welcome but you need not apply You’re not worth my time The moment I died
My halls are haunted now By dreams that never came And all the things we could have done Are all that do remain
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Where am I to go when your words are a maze They lead to heaven and purgatory Why do you leave pieces of your heart like breadcrumbs for me to find Did you mean to hold me in contempt The way starlight holds in my love for you I die over and over here What do you do with the pieces that break off me while carrying you A casualty of two You say you want me gone but won’t let me leave I’ve climbed every inch of these walls Blood holds them up now Coagulated and full of tears I almost saw the sun disappear forever But now confusion fills these halls I would die a thousand ways for you And have Sometimes my clouds block the view Oh, and I’m calling too “Over here, over here, see” But too many clouds wouldn’t let you do You stay so far from reach like the moon Getting close, getting closer, gone We live in the same galaxy But my escape velocity is you I nearly escaped but like an eclipse you appeared I can hear the trumpets bellow Or maybe my heart pounding under the mass of you Waking me from the nightmares you haunt I scream and hear endless echoes “Please just let me die” And die I do only to be born again crying “Please just let me die” I don’t know what’s dream or reality anymore But can hell be any more real than now? You stripped me of my wings You plucked me of my feathers You tell me I’m no good You say I’m broken anyhow Then kick me while I’m down You grab me by the throat Drag me up with your claws in my vein You say I stench of love And spit in my face You scold me and tell me there’s nothing to love here So I believe you and stop loving myself Please just let me die…
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Are you around in secret Haunting me out of sequence For love there is no treatment And pain I seem to keep it For you are my weakness
My heart you just keep squeezing Haunting me throughout the seasons Though my heart is always freezing And why I love you there’s so many reasons I can’t fight the endless feelings My heart is yours for treason
I feel like I’ve loved you a lifetime and yet a lifetime is still not long enough to love you.
Love in a time of quarantine Could go on loving you forevers. Forever yours.If only forever wasn’t so far away. And you.
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Been lost in a quarantine daze Been circling these halls like a maze Reaching for forgiveness but there’s been delays Blood and tears the only currency that pays
When will I be released from his prison When will all be forgiven When will eyes see a life worth living When will the stars again be risen
Wondering when my debts to him will all be paid Reason only comes at the tips of blades But he was there when I needed aid Tell me how much a hero really weighs
When will the invisible no longer be hidden Is there ever a time the truth is written Will there ever be a day he finally listens When will his anger be out of commission
I would give my life for him. My knight. Indebted forever. Loves.
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You say praying won’t make a difference I say running won’t bring repentance Now your spirit I have lamented As for letting go, I’ll stay tormented Walking away, I have been tempted I’m tired of the endless bitterness
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Happy Easter to those who celebrate. Amateur digiart by me @poeeternalAmateur digiart by me @poeeternal
So, I’ll write something with a particular word and then bam she pops up doing the same on her blog. So, I’ll post a particular image on Instagram, and bam she pops up on hers doing the same. And I’m tired of watching him thumbs up her while ghosting me. I’ve blocked them both now. I’m sick of being used and abused so he can sit back and convince all the other girls that I’m the fucking problem while they all laugh about me behind my back. Yet they all stalk me. I’M SICK OF WANTING TO FEEL LIKE I WANT TO DIE. ONTO HATING HIM AND EVERYONE HE KNOWS. HE’S BEYOND CRUEL. I JUST WANT SOME POSITIVE SUPPORT, WHICH I WORK HARD FOR AND DESERVE RECOGNITION FOR!!!!
An original original. You can copy me but you’ll never be me.
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If you dig my writing, you can support my advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
He’s only there to watch me suffer Feeds on sorrow like it’s supper Winter might as well be summer ‘Cuz nothing stops me going under
Please take me back to the beginning Where just for once my life had meaning My head was quiet and heart was leading And doubt was sound asleep and dreaming
Scrub my heart ’til it’s clean Love is now a fragile dream Cracked and broken at the seam Replay the start, end the scene
Uneasy is the head that wears the crown Why do you spend your life sharpening your frown If you are free then why are you still bound I’ll drop your heart in the lost and found
The art of deception is found in your bones Truth rarely covered, hearts made of unknowns The deeper I tunnel, the longer my soul roams My love so heavy, I can’t carry these stones
It’s like my pieces are made paper thin They break apart and fall into the brim He picks them up and patches up his skin Now forever I am attached to him
It’s like we’re always nurturing what went wrong The phone is ringing but we’re never home We’re giving love but it’s never shown We’d stick with hiding but our cover’s blown
There’s an inability to connect Too many barriers I see baggage carried like crowns Cheerleaders for every mistake He’s got a girl on the East, West, North, South sides Love they all claim
He’s a demon star that feeds on his twin Don’t place your bets on love, you’ll never win Breaking hearts is his favorite sin Getting under you, wearing patience thin
Draining you his only goal There’s no limit to how far he’ll go Consuming you into a black hole Look closely, he hasn’t any soul
Hi. Here’s a random picture of me in Ireland cuz I’m behind on digiart… that there is the Atlantic coast I believe and some boats stuck in the low tide. I’d never seen anything like it and pulled over for pictures. I pretty much pulled over every 5 minutes to take pictures of something. I’ve got some cool stuff I’m going to put on my Patreon as perks! I love to travel. I live to travel and gig. (I was still in the military and look how short my hair is).
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I love you… do you ever think I’m worthy of love too? I’m lonely. Aren’t you?
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I give a little still they need a lot I swing for gold but miss my shot I pull the thread, they tie the knot I turn around then lose my spot
I bust through fears like it’s a door I’m exposing things I haven’t before I’ve been wandering for ages lost on his shore And I’m terrified our country is headed for war
Many are choices yet few we can choose And I wonder just really who could fit these shoes And I gave him my word and he gave me the blues And I gave him my heart now there’s nothing to lose
Been stumbling around and lost in a maze And I’m choking on fumes that came from his blaze Yet no matter how he hurts me the love always stays Maybe I’m just broken and desperate for his praise
I hear so much chatter but there’s nothing people say Yet ask them where they’re going they’ll get back another day And I really give my all, that’s just the price we pay It’s like we’re skipping first base and heading straight for the freeway!!
Sometimes I think a bridge is there for me to jump And an ocean is a gully where all my hope has sunk Sometimes I’m wise and knowing and other times I’m drunk But mostly these days I rarely give a fuck
Patience is a virtue and some don’t know the drill If silence is really golden, I am searching still He is just a sleeping lion ready for the kill And she is just a tool to help him seal the deal
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If you dig my writing, you can support my blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (Big love to my patrons who are keeping this blog going): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
“Why have you forsaken me, Christopher” Last words, slipped out from her On the ground, her wings curled and hurt Where you’ve been dead since your birth
She could see death dancing in his eye But he would still tell her no goodbye Her dark angel, had no wings to fly He had no soul to cry
He would gather her and carry her to heaven’s gates He’s made too many choices that came with too many mistakes Carrying her from the steps of hell isn’t a price he celebrates And he will walk forever if forever is what it takes
I wanted to write a short story about redemption to accompany this poem, but my keyboard is broken, it now takes 19 days to charge my tablet, and my tiny, pathetic mobile phone makes me want to start a war, helps…
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Every tear begs to forget of his existence My heart still fights but I wish for resistance The longing now just feels like a sickness When love came about he left with a quickness
It’s like privacy becomes a crystal ball Yet who I am he doesn’t know at all Take his hand you’ll be sure to fall Will break your heart then hide behind a wall
Courage no it’s not a look for him Forgiveness now is looking very slim He haunts my heart like a phantom limb Show him light and he will show you dim
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I don’t understand this lesson How your actions leave me guessin’ And your heart’s not where it’s destined And your praise to her hits like a lethal weapon
I’m not blind, I have eyes to see And your poetry contains bits of me You’re running wild yet you’re never free But I’m moving on, without your poetry
It’s hard to count the many tears I’ve cried And even harder, the lies you’re living by I’d wish you well but then it’s me who lied And though I’m dead my love for you survived
I feel empty, like a hollowed shell Yet every tear has the weight of hell If I’m missed, I can never tell I know your love would get me feeling well
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Creature of the underworld…I don’t like heartbreaks…My heart is so heavy my eyes cryI still hurts after all this time…My hair is fookin’ long tho… almost as long as my regrets…
Cold in every manner Lost faith in ones who matter Still praying every hour Too many tongues that spit and chatter
Her words hit like a bomb I was no longer calm There was blood on my palm And I knew where the rage was coming from
Pray that every tear turns to a curse Hide the devil here inside this verse If he has a fear I’ll find what works Thought he was a monster but he’s worse
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Give her a house; she will need a moon Give her the stars; still won’t make her swoon Give her a song; still can’t suit her tune Give her the world; but to another she will croon
PoeEternal 