I have gluten free parts / unless you count my farts.
I run my visitors off / like a cap I’m twisting off / Kiss them with scoff /but first to read their blog.
Sweet kiss of oblivion – heart like obsidian.
I gave him my love / still he / tossed it in the mire / made me walk on fire / like I’m some liar.
Why would he love a dead red sea / is that what I’m becoming / is there good in me?
Left behind But forced to go on Through the grime Delete my life Rearrange the pie Crunch time
He’s interested in the context Not the poetry but my point next He gets into the prospect What makes me sad What I detest He’s like a mirror what I reflect
I woke up with money, and I mean a lot; Unless you think ten grand is not.
In the far recesses of your heart, moving forward and backward feel the same
If you’re gonna reset the deck Don’t write the check Force your hand instead Erase the bet Need savings to your neck
Montana Mountains Call of the wild Throw a dart I’ll drive there
God recalled Every little sin One of God’s flaws
Find me in the attic Uncovering mirrors Acting erratic Unlike the flickers They seem more static Visions are clearer
I’m usually not wrong with my calculations unless it’s math Then I have to ask
I don’t know what hate is / I’m only torn by love
Heads up: A lender reported that the status of your account is now current. Drifting but determined. Maybe we’re learning. But watch for what is coming…
Lord almighty someone sent me a donation and I just spent it all on food! 🤩
I’m talking fresh organic meats and produce! Scheduled to be delivered today! And I don’t even have to worry about anybody stealing it because I have to sign for it! Now the delivery charge was more than what I was making when I was working as a Lyft and Uber driver but…
My wheels are down – but apparently the Walmart marketplace now delivers! And – because I received such a nice donation, was able to purchase my food for the month!
I’m not ashamed to say that I have been living month to month off of food donations from the church pantry and the Salvation Army, which I can no longer get to because my wheels are currently down, so this donation just allowed me to be able to buy some food and have it delivered!!
I bought the part I needed for my ride! I’m only 19 no’s away from finding someone to help me fix it finding the courage to fix it myself.
The good news is, I did fix my bike!
But, we almost got killed riding yesterday. A car nearly wiped us out. Despite me waiting for the traffic signal to signal and flash WALKING.
Surprisingly, she turned around and came back
“Are you alright”
“Yes but that was scary. Thank you for coming back and checking on us”
“That was close” she said
She was a young driver and probably will be much more careful coming through traffic signals from now on because she nearly took out a girl and a dog on a bike
I told my dog that she was not a demon because she came back to check on us and I know that was hard for her to do
I guess we had a guardian angel looking after us because she was flying
It didn’t matter that I had the right away and I even waited a second to make sure there wasn’t any traffic but
Food is incoming
Chicken. Turkey. Beef. Milk. Bread. Eggs. Cheese. All the things! 🤩
The things I never get from food donations (rare).
I don’t know what you wanted me to spend my money on but food is absolutely a priority and a necessity in my life and not junk food.
My dog is also happy and behaving extremely well for bike rides and soon-to-be good homecooked eating
I’ve been deep cleaning my apartment because my name is on the lease and I’m not going anywhere because God wants me in the Lions den
I discovered that there are a lot of churches in the nearby vicinity that maybe I could start riding my bike to
After all, this broken heart of mine has already walked 5 miles in the last couple weeks
We live in hell and I don’t trust any of these assholes because they would jump you
Two people just got arrested out here where I live and one of the guys was out here yelling that the other guy was a pedophile
I think it was two children though that got arrested because they were trying to defend themselves you know because they were being threatened to have their fucking lives demolished by the psychotic adults
“I got it on film” he yelled
And the weekend is just getting started so who knows who else might get arrested
I’ve opened up all my windows for maximum effect
“Do not fear”
M’kay but like… Why did you make every aspect of life threatening?
The Great Void I’ve stood the edge Gave humanity my hand I have tried to help the damned God has licked the wound where bled And I stand near him unfledged
I peer the end All nothingness Not overjoyed Not his to dress
I am the world Though light is love Taste amaroid Like darkness tough
Fell through the rough Found heaven’s grace Have keys to gate No name to face
I’ve stood the still Frame by frame revealed Lost my soul and will Yet God is here….
Did you know regret lived on the tongue Hiding in deserted deserts I have sat suffering in silence watching the mountain grow My dreams overcome the hours But never the black holes lurking the hopelessly stained sheets Even my dreams are lost without you They open dimensions of nothingness Time like a dead dinosaur There is no meaning here Where cold and heat are one You don’t know what it feels like to have nothing pulling on you The pressure of existence I want to welcome nonexistence the same way you forget mine Now I ask time what is the delay? Every breath harder to take What keeps me here? Has my purpose not come and gone? The law of one permeates I do not comply
But continents are sinking These are my dreams Treaties are ending Gulfed up in flames
I went to sleep then woke up in Armageddon But now dreams are panic and void An endless nightmare Monuments overturning To you, the only one I run Even with your hooves there burning
I’ve gone insane I’m upside down, the rainbow spells you Now my dreams are planting clues And vines are growing where there is dew There is hope to climb I won’t let negativity penetrate the view
Your hand turns tear to paint Let us color awhile where wind is flowing You give life the breeze
Today, I cried for the dinosaur that did not survive your wrath
And did we not use the coal of his life to burn our own?
If my lesson was to learn to let go of attachment, you’re teaching me the law of one
Onto to ascension…
Psst… I’m helping others improve the quality of their life by sharing my shopping tips on how to buy things you want without having to sell your soul or pay a fortune
I go through those moments where I’m like holy fuck there’s some really good content on TikTok and I’m showing people pictures of my refurbished Mac and then somebody comes along and is like ‘hey can you tell me who the seller is, can you show me how that’s done’ and then I remember I have purpose and everything’s all right again 👀
I realize I don’t have a lot to offer other than my voice and even that has been crippled by the social system and algorithm
Anyhoo, I shared my experience of buying a refurbished laptop in the Walmart marketplace, and someone out there was interested in that experience, thank you
I’m not completely worthless yet or ready to die on the street like Edgar Allan Poe
I’m pretty certain there’ll be some more holiday specials going on with after Christmas sales
But so far, I like shopping in the Walmart marketplace
I saw other people left comments and gave him two stars because the black case that came with it was delayed, that is not worth giving somebody two stars for…
I gave him 5* for my bundle deal!
I effin love my MacBook so 🤩
Yeti is still in the box but I moved my country table into the master bedroom until I get a proper laptop desk (I have a kitchen glass table in the dining room)
Maybe I’ll unpack Yeti one day but I’m addicted to the box currently and am not ready to unpack / unwrap her 🤪
This is how hoarding starts…
But to be fair, I have been deleting a lot of things and getting rid of a lot of things in my life so this is me starting over
I’m building from the destruction
The volcano erupts and then grass will grow
Dying is just another phase of my evolution
But I’m keeping my energy clean
All I know is the more I am in hospitals and clinics, the less freedom I actually have and the other day I had like five or six people stop me from going into the VA
Doctors and nurses are the enemy now and a threat to me
And because I’m half zombie now I’m just staying away from everybody
I don’t want to have the same ending as John or Edgar
I do tho, and am, oddly
If I disappear off the face of the earth just know I didn’t want anybody to see me dead and/or if I die in my bed it was a good ending
If I disappear off the face of the earth it just means I gave myself a humane ending instead of the one I was headed towards
Should I find you Like a drunkard Who stumbled on your dreams Kicking color into grey Marking cracks with hopscotch I know you miss me much Creeping slowly as vine If only you had courage to age The way you eat darkness like candy Your grip as tight as mother earth You curl with anticipation So often forgetting why you came Until my whisper approaches in sunbeam And do two not make one Half observed We come undone In spirals twisting and yearning Your eyes turning me to clay Soft putty where fingers slip Hope has no chance of receding now Odds in our favor If only momentarily So each breath meant rebirth And all of heaven kneeling But acid rained on reality Now regret is ribcage Break me in half Free me from this hell Don’t leave me in here
What are the odds your dreams become real, he pondered The way you take cold dark and turn it into candy cane The sky alit like holy Christmas You are New York City Got the sparkle in your eye
Do you think the compass lead me to the fog? And freewill, is that something we evolve? And my hopelessness, is that something you absolve? And what of worry, do we have reason at all?
He followed my scent And did I leave heaps on the trail? Rotten pinecones fermented in the sun? Bark dripping sap like regret? Was it sticky sweet my love?
He said he wants to dig deep Experience life behind the angel’s wing Far from heaven’s keep Beneath the iron swing Where the stars can’t breathe
You’re the reason I jumped into this timeline
Careful what you wish for Cuz it won’t come around no more
He’s sitting on a pot of gold Or maybe hinting on impossible He hangs it on a line for me Like his dream’s a possibility
He wants us broken from our roots Then we are wild and loose
He’s like a sudden eruption And the one thing I am always wanting
You’re like hiking a new terrain A secret I can’t contain You are the wind but never rain You move with freedom where I see chain
I keep calling Fickle and thorny Under moon and mourning
I didn’t mean to follow But the lines were yellow And the cries so hollow The flags were screaming hello
160 miles to the end of the world To the end of the world
You were never friend You were never foe Light you only bend Into something unknown Stars can’t comprehend What they’re never shown
My endings must be your first steps
It may be Iceland But he is midnight sun He’s got the world to burn
There’s poison in the water Radiation leaking from the towers There’s too many now in power We are slaves at every hour
Liberty, please free me
Your book got stained By tears of an angel Maybe mangled Hollowed and chained
Hello, where are you?
I want
I want to be
I want to be your hotel
I want to be your gal, your hotel
I want you endlessly, with no sleep
And when the sun should rise
So to my dreams
Look at how time pulls him To the center of my being He is swinging from creation To bring me everything
I buried your book today Six feet betrayed Pages burned with the rage Torn and decayed I spit on the grave So that’s the price you pay
I’m always awake Dreams never come I’ve stood atop of sorrow Cried for all they’ve done
You’re a loser but you get to lose last
He was a stream she followed into a river that flew from November And everything she couldn’t remember Frozen along a seaside where all condemned her A mirage getting nearer
He’s like a long lost love ripe from the vine Picked from the hands of time
He’s the fresh air filtered from hope A twisted tongue untangled from rope A fixed hole in her boat
We need to be more stronger in our courage than our fear
The mood is morbid More dark awarded
Where do days go wasted Dying in the dunes So many words we hasted Watching how light communes
I ripped it right from the spine I never even read a line
A place for two Fit for me or you With just a tiny view Enough to kill the blue
I want to earn So I can spend Bred to consume Until the end Not born with spoon But fed with sand Give me more doom ‘Til world can’t stand
We’ve only ever seen ourselves in reflections or pictures Double dirty mirrors They sell us any sin by preaching the holy scriptures Watching how light flickers But they all have the same figures Endless filthy triggers And the devils’ are getting richer
Oh to be a sunflower instead the weeping willow
He doesn’t mind if I’m awake or doped Love’s the cure no matter the diagnose
He’s definitely not the hero With a population zero
Did you ever care your dreams were stitched to mine? And choice was chosen farther back in time?
An older view but a heart of gold Maybe reckless But I’m dying young
I can feel him tugging like the tide In between serendipity There’s nothing we won’t try
I want you to come first How earth is spinning You should feel thirst
He’s gone but then he’s back He’s super focused, then off track I think it’s over when that ain’t fact It’s never excitement we ever lack
For cosplay, booty modeling, and full nude photography, subscribe to my OnlyFans for exclusive content! There is never PPV and I respond to every direct message! I give ratings upon request (and by tip only)! Check out my campaign here: https://www.onlyfans.com/poeeternal
Or, if you’d rather drop a one time donation, or a donation in general, my LinkTreeincludes links to my CashApp and PayPal and I am truly grateful for any tips or donations! https://linktr.ee/poeeternal
I recently started a new (free) OnlyFans where I can post my casual and taboo content in a relaxed environment, feel free to subscribe and say hello! www.onlyfans.com/poeeternal2
My LinkTree also has other hookups on the web where you can find me, like my TikTok and Twitch channels!
Are we like string theory, connected to everything? Cuz we’re not attached. Yet we are one? 🤔
But I don’t even know you. You don’t even know me. I can’t live without you. But you can. Or, am I the reason you come up for air? Can’t breathe in hell? 😑
I feel like I’m falling behind. Consistently, like I’m falling behind. Is this what swimming upstream to your death feels like?
(A 3D version of me)
We’ve now moved into a realm where the possibility of Planet X is high probability.
We’re 2000 light-years closer to Sagittarius A* than we’ve realized. We’ve also found out that our distances were way off, they are using new methods to calculate distances. Things are closer to us than they appear. Like in our rear view? And do they ever account for that? 🤔
Maybe the ending of “Is Genesis History” is not so ridiculous after all but I’m still obsessed with that movie, as I am dinosaurs, and that film talks about all sorts of cool shit. Like how old the Earth actually is based on the calculations of the rock formations on Earth and these are scientists. Eh, as a Generation X, I have found that everything I was taught growing up was a f****** lie. I slept through most of my life, plugged into The Matrix. I tried to free many people but have since learned that just like in the film many people want to stay plugged in. Bah. I’m too tired or dead to give a shit. But the animals, the trees!! *sobs* I feel Earth’s gravity tugging on me. Or maybe it’s that giant f****** black hole in the center of our galaxy that’s lurking and I guarantee you come the next update we’ll find we’re even closer to it.
next Apophis flyby APRIL 2-0-2-9 / the final time / the end my friend is not near / the hour in fact is quite here(-)
I hope I get to kiss you before the end of the world
You belong on some foreign land, speaking languages of the old, forgotten gods In some haunted and forsaken land Where your reign has better odds Speaking words I’ll never understand Cuz your lies they come in squads!
I made a new Reel for this new poem!!! I know everyone crosses platforms and shares tiktok on Instagram and reels on tiktok but whatever- if I get 30 views on this new reel, I’ve decided I’m going to be happy with that. Because if 30 people showed up to watch what I did in a room, I would freak f*cking out.
Edgar’s bones are rattling, I think he’s been moved! (This literally did happen to him- come to think- but that’s not what I mean). I’m just trying to keep the rhyme tradition alive and I reside in modern times.
Smitten by words
You can ghost me, we still live on the same planet and in the same galaxy. Sucker!
One day you are going to die and I am going to die but the question remains now: who is going to become dust faster?
Gotcha thinking!
Welp.
Some idiot on Insta insulted my ass again. He said I was living rent-free up in his mind but he was stalking my profile m’kay. Stop lying. Blocked. And thanks for the workout motivation and compliment. 👍
Here a narcissist, there a narcissist, the devil comes in two
How about this new poem I wrote tho, eh? Oh, you don’t want to let me know that I swoon you in any shape or fashion? Hence, it matters not cuz Edgar Allan Poe, yo.
Goddess of Poetry
I am an elite rhyming poet in this century and I feel like I’ve written enough decent rhyme to make my mark in that category and to call myself A REAL POET.
It may take 200 years for anyone to acknowledge that fact. But I’m having a real go at it anyway.
Decided to write a poem without the similes but then it felt naked so I had to put one in. 😇
I thought Dracul loved Mina. Where’s my big love? 😤😤😤
*sobs*
My tears are burning
😭😭😭 helps 😭😭😭
Oh, I just wrote this. But the way my brain is deteriorating, it surprises me I can write at all.
Well maybe when the day comes that I forget my name that I’ll finally remember yours.
Don’t fall in love with a devil 😭
It’s purgatory 😭😭😭
But now I know why Edgar Allan Poe died on the street, nakid, possibly poisoned, broke, heartbrokes, likely depressed and drunk. And he served 2 years in the military, he didn’t deserve a death like that. That was not an honorable death. Welp. He better have a statue out there or I’m gonna have an effing fit. But whatev. Asteroid Apophis is on her way. End times will come for all.
Gonna die unloved.
Not everyone winds up with a burial plot. For many, they become dust in the sand. And it takes an extreme amount of heat to burn a body. Extreme to turn bones to dust.
I delivered my heart to you On sunbeams traveling under moonlight Perched like stars in the night My soul broody from day I called to you in raging storms and hurricanes I left clawmarks all along your names Softly with the flutter of a firefly Flickering in your dreams I came like a herd and with thunder Tiny feet to pull you under I crawled through windswept deserts Sleeping under doom I risked all to bring holiness to you Like a lone desert flower filled with hope And all the comfort you can evoke I came with tidal waves Gushing from love A tsunami rushing for your word The way heaven is mimicked with your verb And galaxies crumbling under your voice As if we had any choice
Really sorry about the previous post deletion. Twice I’ve inadvertently published something simply by opening up the WP app. Had a proper meltdown too.
Anyhoo, this was freshly written before the meltdown. Freestyle ‘after midnight’ poetry.
Inconsolable The way you throb for her I move through life Like I’ve heard not a word You’ll get what you deserve My love decomposable Grasping at darkness It’s exposable The Great Unearthing You’re disposable
I have some photo shoots I’m wanting to get done but also a lot of moving parts that need to come together. Scout locations. Costume fittings. Weather permitting. And that’s just a few… I don’t want to give away too much but I’ve never done anything like this before. Patience needs to be a virtue. I’m antsy.
The Covid pandemic is also holding up items in the mail that I need. But whatevs. Life. Gotta come up with plan B, C, D and revise/update when you can. I’m very spontaneous, what the fuck is patience? Go now! Welp. Not now now though because it feels like Antarctica outside currently. I nearly turned into a Snowman. WTF Florida get it together. My heat is on.
If you appreciated this post, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon (all ages friendly).
If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation to my PayPal here.
Look at how you carve through precious stone- You go from cherished to disowned!
If this is how you treat what you cherish- Spear the love, see if it will perish?
Cherished muse- You have 20 more to replace for every one you lose!
Let me tell you what you wish; A face you really could cherish!
He can turn water into poison You’ll never know you were chosen He can turn truth into erosion He’s got fire but it is frozen
Don’t call on him to have pity You won’t find any in his city Crossing wires like love is infinity He is guilty
He’s not bold He’d whimper and fold He looks old But that’s the price of cold?
It’s a balancing act Trying to remain intact After privacy is lacked And seeing through any mask
How did all these years come to pass Living hour by hour under glass When did mere living come last Crawling these circles full mask
How many roads of lies were paved When did summer turn to grave Too broken or damned to save “Regret” on tomb engraved
She’s got everything hasn’t she? She has his time, admiration, and money. Still, she’s confused on who to be. Meanwhile, I’m a fish out of water, He doesn’t care if I die or breathe
I got iron steel regret How heavy can it get? I’ll find out yet Weighing every bet
Pinching any nerve left I’ll fail each and every test I’m the very best at less I’m the best at less!!!
I do terrible things For love In everything absent of – I don’t rise above
If only disappointment were a page to turn If dismay were a sunray But I chew on bitterness Bewildered from his poison seed
I pack worry in a suitcase Toss my rainboots in a tree Laced with lies received It’s how I bleed
I sometimes think you are many faces Filling spaces Second bases All these places
You assemble hope in tied up laces Watching over me like the moon in phases Carrying me over trouble through midnight races
Love is like the beginning and end
There will be no headstone No grave From life to dust I’m not okay
Deny me love. I will appeal.
I’ve been berated Words sophisticated Now time is hated Black holes where waited Hours wasted Love is not how it tasted Love is not how it tasted
At 26,000 light-years away, it’s the closest we’ve ever been And if regret is a singularity, it’s finally creeping in
Could fit all I am in a tiny box Cheap, won’t cost a buck Disposable and out of luck And for me, he doesn’t give a fuck
Well thank you for leaving me where I didn’t want to be.
He’s been charged with possession of stolen property.
You can lead a comet through a narrow path Treat darkness like an overpass
Lay down a red carpet full of glass Ask the Sun if it’s okay to bask Precious love is always last
You turn a word into a ton of weight Can make a damaged heart dilate Stop all of hope with an iron gate And take holy love to desecrate
You can lead a comet through a narrow path Make an angel take a dirty bath
I’ve seen the dead rise from the ink you spill Not even god can escape the gravity of your will You dig tunnels just for thrill See how many you can kill
Come to me By frothy sea Shine your light I fancy thee
Red shift, blue shift I don’t give a shit
I’m so much better than that flock of shit you summon Your mouth is the opposite direction I am running Your lies only come by the dozen You can knock but you can’t come in The darkness covers all but it’s my coven You ain’t welcome here again
I’m having trouble facing things Or how the sorrow becomes permanent encasings Though a bullet to the skull wouldn’t phase me A daily crucifixion, the only life I’m facing
You’re cruel Using me as your fuel You’re not my tool
I drink from the carton And I never show my enemy just how I’m hurtin’ I draw the curtain And if you catch me taking a nap Are you for certain?
I’m a rib from your side A curse like Dracula’s bride Or Bonnie and Clyde I drink your love like cyanide Mixed with hope and rhyme
Cut the cord yes I certainly did Filled my home with darkness so thick I hid Over valleys of crying I skid
Death and chaos is order Loving him made me older Even a glowing moon can’t comfort the way you smother You’re a terrible lover Always lying under cover You don’t love her You have only mind to wonder Less a heart just feet with thunder Get going you monster
Well, how much more dead can you get?
I don’t know what it’s like to be desired If I had purpose it’s now expired My wings expand but heart is tired Tell me what in life is required?
Why does my love always cause destructive tidal waves?
Did you know mountains were resting on your shoulder named envy? You let me crash on your soul in frenzy I’m dizzy Did you not need me?
Did you know moons were glowing with envy? Heartache cost not a penny But I got plenty If you need any?
Gone But left my heart to disassemble on its own I left it rotting on your throne Caring too much for desensitized bone Lust your carried tomb I’d rather be alone Direction unknown
Got dressed up all like I had no where to goes- But I did and I do, I have people to impose
There are parts of me that are dying Fragile cells multiplying Swamps forming from lying Weeping willows heard crying
Edges of time his mind I go missing every time His rhyme Holding me to crime His line Wishing on a dime
Sometimes, I climb into the ether where we met Heaven is risky but I took the step You feel like eternity in an instance Gotta keep our distance
Every day there’s some new tragic fate with you.
Evolve or repeat.
Why hold on to something when all our sums have failed Why give me any hope when there’s holes within my sails
I fell in love with a monster Spying on ways he would watch her Twisting and burning for answer Changing moments to cancer
I can smell the lie on his tongue I can see the tar clear in his lung I know every direction he’s coming from I know evil is where he sprung
I can see his shadow hanging low Like a spider crawling slow He’s not here to help you grow A web of lust his afterglow
He brings you presents wrapped as lies When dressed as shame he’ll change devise To maintain charm he’ll risk goodbyes
God they’re all the same Using lies to earn your trust We’re just a game You think you know their name Then learn the truth now you’re to blame
God says I can’t save them all- Focus on the stars, I know about the stars So I’m on my knees, I wallow in these scars
God says, watch how the colors bleed- How it’s flowing free We’re only allowed pockets of energy
Stop serving good vibes to those deserving of goodbyes
If only there were a fence that lead me to your green pastures. Or if love were the grandest gestures.
Would it cease our need of treasures? And increase in heart our pleasures?
I’m hanging onto life with all I have left And you I’m clinging to with every single breath
He grew obsessed after every loss The thing he loved, became his cross Still over mountains, he gave it all And how he sweat, she never saw
From the top, to the bottom, to rising again Deserted deserts, losing treasures, our feet have been Over powered, over run, still fit to win The trouble with hope, it burrows under your skin
How can heaven weigh this? Are you not why heaven fell?
How many lies are you leading The light receding And was I ever in your field of needing? How many lives proceeding
How wave after wave pummeled Darkness fully tunneled
I don’t want to be known for the wars I fought – Or the hate I taught
I don’t belong here With the putrid Though the dead more alive
I bit more than I can chew I am stupid Got the devil in my crew
I invited evil to dance Then got muted The devil in a trance
I see through mask like a pattern Deeply rooted Though in the dark he was my lantern
He has to be very careful Of who, of what, of when, of why Every step he makes is sterile Of love, of care, of hope, or I
I am replaceable A traveler straight to erasable He is obsessed with her And her and her But me it’s always never
I can handle extreme pressure under fire But put me in the cold and I will expire
I’M CREATING NUDE PHOTOGRAPHY, VIDEOGRAPHY, COSPLAY, AND ADULT STORIES ON MY ONLYFANS! WWW.ONLYFANS.COM/POEETERNALShameless self-promotion. I’m planning a special shoot!
Thanks for checking out my work and for supporting independent artists!
Have you ever fed on hope The way you spoon it to me in soft crescent words I’ve seen your shadow dancing in twilight I wake for your golden hour Any hour Melting into sunrises You lower heaven on my shoulder So I can skip through its halls and miss prayer Watch how my hope crosses dimensions to find you resting at my feet We are nesting on a great divide Where dreams are real life Hearts a multiverse Parts of my soul where you left claw marks Sacred holy landmarks I pray to you
First off, if you haven’t seen the film High Life, you should. I had a love-hate relationship with it when I watched it a few months ago, but it was one of those movies I had to watch again and again. And the end credit song sung by actor Robert Pattinson is sublime. I think it’s safe for you to at least listen to the song if you haven’t seen the film (or ever want to).
That movie is so bizarre I really don’t think the song will give anything away. Since the lyrics were freestyle, I wrote my poem freestyle as well. Can’t escape the rhyme tho. Welp.
When writing my version, I tried to keep with the same theme of the film for the most part. I’m big into sci-fi. 👍
You can watch/listen to the original theatrical song sung by Pattinson here.
So, my prompt was the film and music. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything like this before (prompts). But I’ve wanted to. So alas, my version… 👇
Willow, where are you rushing now? Willow, where are you rushing now?
Over broken glass, through the blasphemy, Do you follow it downstream? What’s reality?
Willow, do you feel no pain? Willow, are you still hiding shame?
In the hollow light, past infinity, do you think of me?
Willow, are you stretching my dream? Willow, am I what I seem?
When I’ve lost defense, and there’s hopelessness, is there nothing real? Are we moving still? Is there destiny?
Willow, how can you stand the night? Willow, can you feel what’s right?
Completely inspired by the song “Willow” from the film ‘High Life’.
Photo by @poeeternal (I went to the beach yesterday, gonna be dropping some beautiful photography on my Patreon campaign – photography my patrons can use for their own blogs and projects). Grateful for my patrons!
Death and dying brings out so many emotions. When facing mortality, those big questions on the purpose of life come about, and often the non-religious will find comfort in religion. A lot of atheist will find God in the end and this actually happened to one of my favorite bands, Peter Steele, who found God in his end. You can watch videos of him talking about it on YouTube and read about it in articles. I still have a hard time listening to Type O Negative since Peter Steele died and they’ve been one of my favorite bands since I was 16. He was only 48 when he died. I’m 42. Welp. This is my last decade. I will not make it to 50. At this point surviving 2020 will be a fucking miracle.
I still don’t know if I said what I was trying to say because I was busy crying and blowing my nose.
I was trying to say that you saved my life and gave it meaning, when all the world had shunned me away on my darkest days.
I was trying to say something like, ‘you were there for me in my end, so I’ll be there for you in yours’ (whether by faded memory, poetry, or physical form).
Slept in me makeups and then washed it all off with me tears.
When you think that your life doesn’t matter, remember that you made mine matter. You gave me sight and purpose. You opened my soul. You saved one of God’s precious angels.
I can’t write like the greats but we are definitely a modern day Romeo and Juliet. 😭😭😭
Wait… Except, nothing you write is for me so just forget everything I just said… brain injury > fantasy head
You make me write the most ridiculous, mushy poetry though. It’s all relative (see what I just did). You matter.
I forever heart you.
If this damn disease doesn’t kill me something will. I just wish I could be hearing your stories in my end, or at the very least, your heartbeat (with my head on your chest as I take my final breath). Not asking for much, am I? 😫😭😭😭
If this is your first time coming to my blog, I’m pretty certain I have better pictures and videos of me than of me crying. But whatev.
My writing career is going to go one of two ways, either I’m going to keep doing it or I’m going to pack it all in. If you’d like to support me, you know where and how. I’m still past due on bills and need to eat but whatever.
Maybe I’m gone. Maybe it’s like I don’t exist at all. Wet hairs. Had a bath. Clean but found a new way to hurt. If I could be who you wanted all the time <frowngarden>
He watches me
The way time moves over my feet
My doors opening and closing
Peering into the window of all I am exposing
Playing tug-of-war with hearts decomposing
My third eye all-knowing
He watches you
Catching me in view
And what we do
We’re split in truth
Well, who knew?
I guess he loves me too 💕
To be honest, I’m still a tiny microorganism. Compared to my love for you. Like all the dark matter in the universe, it just grew. Space equals truth. 💕
I love you. I hate you tug-of-war
I’m staying. I’m leaving tug-of-war
I’m empty. You’re in me tug-of-war
I’m pulling. You’re tugging tug-of-war
I’m sorry I’m mean to you. I don’t want to cry anymore. Don’t retaliate. 😭😭😭
Not only does he listen I got him by the teeth And in his world I glisten While dancing on his feet
His love has no conditions So solid like concrete It seems his only mission Is loving me complete
Walking tightropes Over every word wrote Using lines to balance Darkness and failed hope Taking steps to fall But then don’t He pushes me across the wire His back gropes The world crying I’m a joke But he won’t
He is a cosmic jewel Longing felt under moon A hope or two A dream in blue
Earthly views The perfect muse The love I choose Someone I can’t refuse
Uhm, is anyone sick of my rhyme yet? Did anyone notice that within a blink my blog reached nearly 10K more views? Nearly 10,000 more visits HERE to read my blog! We’re nearing 60K! 😍
Got my enemies watching with a telescope- they say they hate me but you know I’m dope! 😍
Opened up my eyes, had a follow request, saw a post on binary code, and wallah. Poem. I apparently still love him in between the endless BLOCKING and UNBLOCKING that I do. I’m sorrys! 😭
I’m dying for his touch. Don’t even really know who he is, I just know he’s my entire fucking world and existence.
And I need him so much my mind will turn complete strangers into him.
Just because I can’t see him doesn’t mean he’s not around.
Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean I’m not being followed.
(Do you reckon Edgar Allan Poe ran off of any of his wives suitors with a shotgun? I mean, he wasn’t very popular. The local press even stopped publishing his work. He went from a respected officer in the military, to poor, dead, and naked on the street and possibly poisoned, and heartbrokes).
I don’t want to die heartbrokes. Helps. 😭
Sometimes I run off your suitors with my mouth. 😭
Psst did you know my love keeps growing for you? I am a deep, wide ocean. Keep swimming. I’m yours, forevermore. xoxo (times infinity^2)
Staring up from down below Heaven fell further than I know The wind gets cold Like regret growing old With a heart of stone Set in gold Or hearing whispers “I told you so” Where are angel’s not to go? God told me to love him whole The sinner yes so I tread his road Ready to take on intruders, I’m bold He says friend, I say foe There’s complications in the fold Missings cards like hands, I need him though Dropping SOS’s where his feet have strolled Sights to behold Or heartaches sold
To be honest, I just wanted to keep going with this rhyme flow. I gotta stop putting on the breaks. I’m feeling pages, can you roll?
Moonstone if you’ve ever wondered. I wrote an essay in college once on the healing properties and energetic properties of stone and blew my professor away. I’m going to get back into to meditation sessions soon. Just trying to find my self-esteem and what’s left of my pride after my last nuclear meltdown. I’m radioactive. And collapsing in on myself.
This goes without saying but, I get insanely jealous of the attention he gives other girls. Like black jealousy. And my doctors at the VA don’t understand this kind of love or obsession. They don’t even understand why I’m scared of asteroid Apophis. Whatever. You can’t cure these things. Love is the only acceptable remedy. He just needs to kiss me. Shimples.
I’m on the Patreon, if you dig my writing and photography or digiart, there’s loads of EXCLUSIVE CONTENT up! You get cool perks for pledging and I get to keep writing and running my blog advert free! I really like writing! I’ve been practicing my art since I was a little girl, thank you for giving me the opportunity to do it professionally!
Energy can’t be destroyed Iron gates can’t stop what God deployed A toxic giant void Overly paranoid Or just just ignored
They’re all for her Illogical Every single word I observe I’m just a neurotic girl He uses to rise and stir And I concur He wants forever Just in another world
I come But then I’m gone Lost on the run I understand But then I’m dumb I jump But then I’m stunned I speak Then tongue is wrung I won’t compete Unless I’ve won
All you ever care about is the life you built What is it but an island of guilt
You ripple the fabric of time Dropping poems like pebbles But who out there should feel each wave As if were all mine?
My love, I can’t block the fabric of time or my love for you. I’ve tried endlessly to. Cutting out the need like truth. I lie to do.
My love, I smell your fear and read it as silence. And while my hands are small they hold such violence. My light gets lost in your iris. But I would die for this.
Stop using me to bleed Cut you from my feed Amputate the need Your evil seed
Look at me all frail and pale A ghostly figure freckled with fright Look at all the shite I write It’s best if I stay out of sight
I block the channel But can’t stop the feed I numb existence Just not the need
Why do you give out your fruit To awful prey She’s dug a root You’re just her slave
I’ve had just about enough of this bandwagon Exiting stage right quickly to abandon Sick of watching other hearts you stuff and over fatten Meanwhile there’s a spotlight on every fault that’s ever happened
I’ve spent enough time following this circus To simply know this isn’t our purpose But your mask is her clown behind an ugly curtain And you’ll never change, this we know for certain
There’s a thick layer of doubt Enveloped over more doubt Hope is now in drought I’m lost en-route There’s no love about
He’s all beast in cardigan Lying every second if he can All over earth they span His name is man
I’ve got very fine silks growing from my head Still they call me dead
Leave me alone to rot Let hope decay Find my love an empty plot The cost too high to pay
You’re better than a pyramid scheme Riding piggyback over her every broken dream Her methods outdated and obscene She’s a copycat queen
I set myself apart Too many broken feet Trying to compete For the best of me I’m not meat For them to eat But they try and feast In a frenzy Still tied and chained To mistakes yet more they seek Well I’m not weak
You’re better than that wheel of fakery
Not your enemy Not your friend You got empathy Just not my hand
Not your ally Not your wife You got power But still cause strife
Not your favorite Not your worst You got popularity But I’m still first
Why are you still hanging out with that gang? Riding the fake ass gravy train Hopping bandwagon after bandwagon under her name She’s hoping for fame You’re missing your game
He’s got alot of money, he’ll even call you friend But he will only make you feel cheaper in the end He’s got alot of money, but not a spine for him to stand And I’ll kick his ass if he ever comes ’round here again
Safety ever an illusion Tiptoeing over delusion Frozen lakes of confusion This hand is for losin’
He doesn’t want me for himself He doesn’t want me with anyone else He doesn’t want me for himself He doesn’t want me
Tell me, when mountains crumble beneath your feet When you’ve got a tongue, but no breath to speak When your knees are trembling and you’ve fallen weak Is it ever me you think you need?
He won’t support me month after month for my work And he’s got more rooms than he can fill I’m tired of even trying When to the world I have no worth
I’m all nerve endings Pockets lined with anxiety
I am pen within pen Leaking under skin Bleeding from within Marching forward Chained to sin Our time is thin
Do you recall When you were lost In purgatory of the loss So numb in the dark No light or a spark How much I cared?
If you remember I held your crown I took your cross Through the desert and across All your sins at no costs Though your pain has been shared
If you flush your eyes Stop looking down Where your heart knows holocaust Clear the fog and the frost Find your soul where I’m embossed And stop asking where
Who am I writing for anymore? To whom do these words belong?? I don’t know if I can distinguish the dream world from the real world anymore.
Neo helps.
Morpheus:
Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?
The Matrix
What if you couldn’t distinguish the dream world from the real world?
I mean the only positive news that has come out of 2020 is the fact that the Matrix 4 is coming out and I’m trying to stay alive for that shit (it’s only news that they’re making another one- doesn’t mean the movie is coming out in 2020).
Can you teach me how to not worship you???? Before I go to New Orleans and see a voodoo doctor and start casting spells on you????????? Cuz, I mean, it’s moving up on the to-do-list, FYI.
Fool. I don’t know if you’re my kryptonite or what, but I’d take a fucking bullet for you ( I prefer offense and saving though, that’s what I’m efficiently trained to do).
I literally want to just leap Into Your Existence and wrap my entire body around you in a hug. I don’t think that’s normal response. I’m like a wild fucking animal. You like- turn me into a werewolf on a full moon. Can I ravage you?????
Fuck. I can’t breatheeeeee.
There ain’t a pill in heaven that makes me feel as good as your fucking existence.
Blocking is like putting a fence up for your own protection. So I don’t fucking turn all werewolf on you.
Cuz I do have a little bit of werewolf blood in me too. 🙂
I do stupid shit like howl at the moon- but once you’ve been sleeping in fox holes in a war zone in the middle of the fucking desert in Iraq for months at a time – yeah bitch howl til your heart’s content.
My hair is getting so long (on one side) it just curls around me and every inch of this silky fabric is organic, real, homegrown from my skull, and mine (though it tangles just from thinking about blowing on it, brush it from down up please and in sections or it tangles while brushing and never brush it wet, ever or you’ll ruin my fine silks *sigh*. I just know someone’s going to fuck my hair up when I die. DON’T FUCKING TOUCH IT AND DON’T FUCKING LET THE GOVERNMENT CREMATE MY BODY FOR FREE AND GIVE ME A WHITE TOMB AND BURY ME WITH OTHER UNKNOWN SOLDIERS. Instead, freeze me and give my body to science and they can clone me and bring me back to life digitally or like for real in the future. I’m down with that but don’t stick me in a fucking box either 6 feet under. If you do though, let my hair keep growing, don’t touch it, that’s my point. La la la
I don’t know how many poems I’ve written, because life is chaos and order, but 99.9979% have been for you. But what came first, the black hole or the star? Could the star be where it’s at today without the black hole? What if all these chemicals and elements exist because ionization occured from the black hole? What if I’m the black hole instead and you are the star? What if none of these poems were ever written? What if I never feel your actual kiss? Might die… might survive… might go supernova in your sky.
So, I hate you and I love you. “My indecision is final”.
I see what they write about you. But it doesn’t fucking compare, to the magnitude of the words we write each other (I mean the words you don’t write me at all but do but don’t but do but don’t but do). Ahem. *gets back in coffin* I’m over everything and I want to hibernate through winter…
PoeEternal 