They’re starting to find debris from the unsinkable Titan…
I don’t think a teenager is capable of mitigating the risk involved.
This comment is terrible but why did I laugh? Like damn….
People absolutely hate billionaires. The comments unfolding…
It’s safe to say, they’re no longer suffering.
I haven’t slept in days so probably some spelling mishaps.
I’ve slept a little that were filled with tossing and nightmares.
Grateful to still be fighting for my life. Having shoppers guilt and I don’t understand why.
Mostly think “what’s the point, will I even live long enough to enjoy it”
Followed by “my sister died at 45, buy the stuff”
Followed by “we could be dead tomorrow so what’s the point”
Followed by “I really want it”
Followed by “I know”
Why am I having buyers guilt? Not remorse? Cuz I do not regret anything in my closet.
I mostly regret being sick and dying…
I told myself I’ll stop shopping eventually
LIKE WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO
I’m not even doing it for views…
It’s the first time I’ve ever owned clothing I actually like
I’m no longer spending hundreds of dollars monthly on medicinal that made me worse
And I know I need to move but it ain’t happening overnight
Long ago I could pack up and drive around, look at a few places, and get a key
It’s no longer that easy or affordable
I’ll likely be just as miserable and my AC is probably full of mold
Putting a work order in…
Rent increase in August but it’s still 3 or 4 times cheaper than a 1 bedroom elsewhere
Damned if I do, damned if I don’t
And I did get new carpet here
I’m just gonna keep fixing it up
Until I have land + a tent
But there’s cracks in the ceiling
CRACKS IN THE CEILING
I fear sinkholes
Also Florida is in hurricane season nearly again
I’ve lived through THREE hurricanes here
2 of them I lost power over a week…
In the summer heat…
I’m sure that’s excellent for moldy conditions
And Wolfy hasn’t shown her face since I screamed bloody murder twice
She probably wanted me to feed her like I do the other house spider
I have terrible arachnophobia
I’m pretty much scared of everything
I think she’s gonna have babies and need to relocate the sack
But she’s guarding it
This isn’t going as planned and I keep feeding her
I’m turning into a witch and Halloween commences August 31st this year – hopefully still alive to wear my cute Halloween themed outfits (throughout XMAS)
Clothing gives me a reason to live
Do other people feel guilty spending money on things they want and need?
I did say I wanted to start over and got rid of 95% of my belongings which I hated and brought me zero joy
It sucks because I have zero family or friends to confide in
I have to be my own best friend and say “baby girl buy it”
And then I thank myself and God and God and God when I do…
Cuz I’m grateful but ain’t allowed to let my neighbors know…
I am absolutely invested emotionally in this lost submarine
So poetry…
All the money in the world won’t save them And there’s banging from the deep, there’s mayhem All the prayers for them now, feel like a sunken gem Who do we fault, who do we condemn?
“It has one button, that’s it” Says the narcissist
5 are dead or dying While some are crying Other’s are denying Trouble underlying
Remote Like our love A breach in hull Shipwrecked is soul
Crushed is hope But do you know the scope An uncertified submarine Nightmare or dream?
Dark waters turn crimson But no one will listen When you hear the cries The thunder in the skies The dead have gone missing They were on a mission Straight to extinction Race against affliction
It’s a dead giveaway You’re going to die today
Sorrows sorrows prayers The state of affairs Endless nightmares Electric chairs Tell me someone cares
You need to leave but you’re not free to go The cop combo
Never get on the bad side of a good girl You will see her form Like hail in storm She ain’t lukewarm
I need to focus on the gains And not the mishaps Sometimes I think I’ve gone insane But no one gives a crap
He’s like driving on a floating road And I ain’t going slow
He’s like riding in a truck without breaks That’s the speed it takes
Walking in the underground I’m a ghost and he is the crowd
“Loose lips Sink ships”
It’s unfortunate The people who need help Can’t be helped
It’s always the same color crayon The same con The Devil’s spawn Hanging on my lawn So they get a yawn Wish they’d move on Back to Babylon Where they’re coming from Fucking hate them all
I wish I had no father Why even bother Poison like still water I wish I had more honor
Why does the sun Travel in a straight line Like your lines From pen to mind
He hits on his own reflection He’s gaslighting every direction He says he loves with affection He’s in love with his own perfection
Some need more than one chance To change the circumstance Don’t want the last dance
Michael Leavitt deserves to crawl into a hole he can’t get out of As below, so above
I’m just barely existing Time is ticking Grave persisting Death resisting
I don’t want realistic Fuck sadistic I’m humanistic Ain’t optimistic
I must be dead inside Soul paralyzed Know not to cry
She’s not me Still do I slide into her clothes Like midnight over moon I am all And I am none
I start the trends I rarely follow I live in pretense Hard pills to swallow
Til death do us part We ain’t got the heart Black and full of rot We’re both distraught No grave for plot
I don’t get the physics Or why he never visits Says it ain’t my business Why he acts suspicious
Why are you under my teeth? Beneath my seams? Between my dreams? Light like moonbeams?
Time moves slower in the cold His heart is indigo Take me where blue blood will flow His undertow The place I grow
He steals the sun and turns it into limelight His pen will give me frostbite
Collecting comments Crashing comets Trashy content Make me vomit
Demons look like humans Cheaters look like keepers Users look like friends Children look like men Do not attempt To understand
I haven’t been able to sleep and my entire FYP is the lost submarine
I actually hope and pray they are found. It would be nothing short of a miracle. However, they sent two subs down (unmanned presumably) that got crushed at 6000 ish meters
I had a comment get over 1600 likes – and got annoyed with all the notifications – so deleted it
I commented a teenager shouldn’t be on board, many said he was 19
I replied NINETEEN – TEEN
And still – they denied
Had to block – got annoyed
I wish we could mute comment notifications but naw
So delete – it just wouldn’t stop getting likes or comments
I’m an introvert I suppose
Sidenote
Apparently the CEO was in a lot of trouble and he was a good gaslighter and salesman to convince those people to die with him – I don’t think a teenager (yes nineteen is still a teen) should be allowed on an experimental submarine dive 12,500 feet below the sea. It doesn’t matter what fancy title you give them.
That CEO stated over and over that sub was entirely safe, “if this goes… “safe”, if that goes… “safe” but sign this waiver
Look, I signed a waiver getting that motherfucking vaccine and I will never trust another doctor or nurse again – I was asking all the right questions but I was gaslit, gullible, and lied to
And even tho the first vaccine fucked me up, I crawled further in the hole, just like our dear John Jones…
It nearly killed me and I’m at risk for Adult Sudden Death syndrome
I cannot stress this enough, adrenaline spikes to the heart is a no-go
I workout but not to the extreme
I fucking ran through the Dollar 25 tree with 2 gallons of spring water and it was a no no and that was recently
I was in my car going, “it’s okay we’re safe now, I won’t do that again”
So I can run and jog but not with added weights
It’s ridiculous but if you knew how far I’ve crawled – to get better, you might be a tiny bit proud
I’m feeling stronger but can’t do adrenaline spikes at all…
And I’m only 108 pounds
I also have to be careful with extreme temperatures, the hot and cold
I’m like Goldie Locks, need everything just right…
I’m not out of the dark yet and may never be…
The light is so much more powerful than the dark
Also, they stated you wouldn’t be able to hear banging that deep down – something about sound not traveling through the cold
I find that interesting
Isn’t space cold?
I hope God can hear my screams…
I do feel bad about them being stuck at the bottom of the sea
Maybe they didn’t explode
Maybe they made up the banging to keep the search ongoing and the $$$$ flowing
A fast death seemed a little less cruel than suffocating in the dark and cold in a sealed up tuna can
Where you can’t even stand…
Or hyperventilate
With only a sandwich and bottle of water
The one window was plexiglass
A freaking fish tank
You couldn’t pay me a million to get bolted in that tin
I need to get back to my FYP and I feel less guilty about buying clothes now – that’s a much better decision than sinking to the bottom of the sea to explore a graveyard
But I was fucking stupid for getting that 2nd vaccine
I’m learning to forgive myself for a lot of things
I have been dying a slow and painful death
And there are people on my black list
Lucky buying clothes is all I’m planning to do…
LUCKY
Cuz the daydreams are filled with revenge tenfold
I promise when I’m feeling better than dead I will post some of my cute clothing
Mostly dressing comfy for now…
And appreciative I have a floor to sleep on
My sister died of Covid age 45
I don’t want to die…
But everything is actively trying to kill me
The water, the food, the air, it’s all been poisoned
Why does light travel in a straight line? Why does something round move straight? I haz questions.
Free speech below be warned
The way John Jones died keeps me awake at night.
Maybe get some land in Utah. Do a low crawl. Whip out the hacksaw. Call me an outlaw.
I’m still breaking out in hives. I did a 30 day raw ginger detox and hit it TOO hard. I’m not a sweater but first shot broke out in sweats. Kept going tho.
Nearly fell asleep last night until the consequences of John’s action really settled in.
Must be the worst way to go.
He didn’t even wanna be there. Just thought he could show off a little. He was wanting to eat some Turkey. Or maybe dressing.
I’m not gonna be able to rest until somebody pulls him out of that hole.
Recovery mission.
Use a robot, I don’t care!
Get him out of there!
Cuz I don’t learn my lessons well either.
2nd week felt nauseous after every shot and by the third, hives.
Guess I’m preparing myself for the end
I really really don’t want a traumatic ending
My whole life has been a tragedy
So Cracker Barrel has a cancer warning on their website that eating their food will expose you to bad stuff
And when you click on more info, it won’t tell you exactly which foods
This is what happens when other countries rule us and the Great Race war theory is reality
Check the fucking CENSUS
Reports say certain Chinese Americans (how they prefer) identify as “the new white”. They even get common names like John or Michael.
Certain Mexicans also identify as “the new white”
And BLM is up 230%
I don’t know where I’m going, but I can’t stay here
Land is cheap near Yellow Stone
Pros: cheap
Cons: near volcano
People have been boiled alive at the acidic hot springs
They are my favorite natural wonder and the one’s I fear the most
Always wanted to visit but have this feeling it would pop
Many scientists and people have died from volcanic eruptions randomly
I would have been driven mad living with demons inside a cave
Who constantly gaslight
I don’t know if I believe in reincarnation but sometimes I feel like I’m still learning a lesson from 6000 years ago
China needs to take a chill pill
Most of us are fairly fed up
Eating raw salad today
Maybe just need to stick to a raw diet forevermore
Fucking sick of dying a slow tormentious!?! death
You ever be drifting off to sleep until something bad makes your eyelids pop wide?
For me, last night, it was JJ.
I need an old typewriter
I probably could just use pen and paper again
Ink sucks these days
I hate AI
I’m always writing from my phone
One little tap at a time
Constantly correcting the algorithm
It likes to not space
It likes to change words on me
I’m basically sick of the narcissism which is a plague
But any article you read will state, “narcissism is rare”
Believe none of what you read and less of what you see
He was suppose to take the one that had claw marks all above
But he probably was dared or gaslit to go in the wrong one
It was 9pm at night
He should have been in bed
His wife re-married 3 years later
I ain’t been married once
Some people have it too easy
China has the most ridiculous dictator’s who are nihilistic and their own policies have made it hard for them to recover as a whole due to the “one child law” and I hope they fall but they are stealing white man’s identity with malicious intent and purpose and American names…
I’m allowed to be angy….
I’m sick of being micromanaged
And poisoned
Got some more rhyme incoming but freestyled this as soon as I opened my eyes
Couldn’t even brush my teeth first – already rhyming
Brain still foggy
When I was 16, I would break out in hives every night because of the stressors
For several months, I had to take Benadryl at bedtime
I was even put in a rehab against my will for a month solid, wasn’t able to communicate with boys, had to do stupid meetings
Escaped the insane asylum so many times they had to re-write the rules every time
Sometimes locked myself in my room and refused to come out, using my body and feet against the walls to stop them from breaking in
Demanded air time (fresh air) cuz I was on suicide watch most of the time, not allowed to go outside, not allowed to shave my legs
Broke out in hives every fucking night there
Left the leader tho…
Eventually I was released
My parents were the only ones to not show for the final week to do therapy
It was clear who the fucking problem was and why I was breaking out in hives
I wasn’t supposed to be there
The same John wasn’t supposed to be in that hole
“There are things that happened down there that will never be disclosed”
Yeah like what though?
I can still remember the name of the boy I sat next to in 2nd grade
We made up a game
We’d draw little maps of roads and the other would hold the pencil while the other held the paper to “drive”
We did this quietly and after assignments were done
And every time the teacher re-arranged where students sat, we were allowed to still sit next to one another
Cuz we both got angry and probably refused to do assignments lol
I went skating a lot back then
And even at 16, had rollerblades and would go street blading for hours
I bought me a brand new pair of skates at Christmas, but still haven’t been 😦
So I really hope I change that soon
I know I have a valid excuse “dying” but damn
One day we won’t be able to do the things we want, even if we wanted
I don’t want that day to sneak up on me
It’s like I’m still stuck in a hole I can’t crawl out
And no one’s coming to save me
We have to save ourselves
But God does listen
And prayers do come true
Sometimes
Within reason
Or it’s just l-u-c-k (labor under controlled knowledge)
But I still believe in God
And I don’t know how I survived my teenage years
The quarries, the 50 foot bridge jumps, the standing in front of trains
How do you do it? Take my mess? And turn it into puzzle? Six foot hole with shovel? Buried deep is trouble? Humming like you’re humble? Dear it’s never subtle?
Collecting comments Crashing comets Trashy content Make me vomit
I didn’t press Enter I pressed Return So the Devil will linger Like he has concern
I’m a recovering passive nihilist I’m always acting childish Just ask my stylist Fired for being biased We’re not an alliance Fall dead to silence But I’m full of violence Underrated and defiant Won’t find me quiet
In an alternate universe I didn’t jump soon enough Guess the train caught my bluff My friends had already given up
Stick a needle in his eye Listen to his fake cry Pooling from his alibi Set a spell so he may die
The water smells like chlorine I bet he thinks I’m boring I guess I’ve lost count scoring The hate is over pouring
The devil loves my bitterness Right now I am rigorous It makes not a difference Heading for the wilderness
We’re the worst crash That never happened Like lightning flash But we’re still laughing?
The feeling of imminent death Took the wrong step Made a wrong left Death is terrifying He knows I ain’t lying
Pretty toes Because the highs are lows And colored rose I’ve changed tempos Searching the afterglow
*sigh* despite having video downloads off, found my best viral TikTok video posted by another on YouTube (he did credit me – but where’s my $$$ for it going viral on YT) (fuck you)
Society is a scam.
Poem inspired by a scammer scamming a scammer
Why does it aggravate me so much when people copy me? Because I’m Gen X? And we’re the only generation who are individuals? Yes? No? Maybe?
He takes my ideas And turns them into grandiose amusement thrills He steals The yellow daffodils He’s got too many skills Landslides and foothills Rotting thrones Where he fucking kills
Pop up artist in Oklahoma Has no damn diploma Divorced him in a coma But darling she’s a cold one
Unreal omens Roaming like the Romans My blood is spoken One spell never broken Couldn’t love them both then?
We’re nearly dressed alike Turn down the turnpike Let’s go for a hike Heard from hope tonight
Maybe it was harder than I thought it would be Humility
He likes my tiny – My tiny tiny heart Nicknamed sunshiny His counterpart
The big girls keep yelling that I’m small / I fear he can’t see me at all
Like a volcano about to erupt I’m running amuck Let me be abrupt This government is corrupt!
Everything he writes Is about him me you us Combined in a trust Locked without fuss
To put her mind at ease, he lied With spear in side Not Judascide Cat caught the mouse Lie tied to mouth Not big the trap
Are you burning down cities? Running from the guilty? Like a modern viking gypsy? Do you fancy life more risky? Got a shot a whiskey?
AWOL / never ordered you to leave
I’m 1600 miles away from hope No room for boat Get your telescope Walking a tightrope
Has karma grabbed your foot? Think you’re off the hook? Think steps I mistook? Ban me like a crook?
I’m a fucking primate Gotta lot on my plate
You make life misery You take all liberty
I clean but make a bigger mess / to God I confess
It’s like he’s observing a galaxy from 4 billion years ago – The girl he used to know Does he see how much I’ve grown?
Adventure is more reliable than happiness Said once a therapist?
You’re a deceitful mess I learned from the best
Dear Necromancer, Nothing is not the answer Let God be the anchor And Earth, don’t forget to thank her
The nervous thumb twitch Like broke then too rich Got called a dumb bitch Might wind up in a ditch
Your new life will cost you your old one Just waiting for the dog to be done
There’s something super familiar about all these incidents Just can’t place my feather on it
He works in 12 hour shifts Might hear from him In a dozen years
Could you mumble in monotone some more / you’re a zombie chewing on my bored
I wonder where you are on my follower list Someone I’ll surely miss? Connection with a twist? Or maybe you don’t exist?
Got knocked down Lost my place Scattered humility Eclipsed across my face Nearly lost my soul Now taking second place
He doesn’t understand I don’t have love for him I don’t have love for much I don’t have love for them
He comes on like rain Smell of petrichor Bet I love it more
I know you think I’m boring Map me like you’re exploring Tell you stories that got you snoring I know who you’re ignoring
He’s so bizarre Drive fast in my car Foot on the throttle He thinks I’m odd
We are distributed across billions of light years of space That’s the love it takes That’s why our heart aches Unlimited weight We’re at infinities gate Heaven will not wait
Dearly belated Oh Most Hated Got me jaded Nearly persuaded But sun hasn’t faded
He’s the Epic of Gilgamesh Death is irrelevant Lessons from a demigod – Speaks a bunch of gibberish!
Dear Elite Think life’s complete With hand I’ll greet Meet me in the street?
Do you think God plays favorites? Paradise for the angel? Won’t give me nothing I can’t handle?
Cold water sinks / depression leaks
Nothing is more expensive than a cheap boat Unless you’re out of hope Better pray for rope Here’s your footnote
Now you’re just somebody that I want to know
I promise – I won’t make any promises I’m too damn ominous Like doubting Thomas But my tongue is honest
I’m investing in bullets and freshwater Dream of killing father Knelt down by altar Gold coins for slaughter At knee they foster Silver and laughter It’s land I’m after For ash to scatter And sin for answer God is still my master Hereafter
I don’t know my own father’s face / I don’t know his fate / or should I really hate
What I am Computer programs Happy Birthday rams Still sticking around Like dripping clouds I’m in a drought The thick of doubts It’s double this shroud It’s double this shroud I’m looking out Twice as loud
Neurons could be pixels on my desktop You build walls I can eavesdrop You build ramps I can skate across You know I won’t ever stop
The blueprints are in another dimension God will never mention 🙂 Not that you’re listening Unused attention Forward inching
Mark Chapter 11:
Jesus cursed a fig tree Love thy neighbor Unless it’s not producing fruit Then cut it loose Bloodletting (but he could’ve waited until morning) (when the sun was burning)
(The fruit doesn’t form at night / you get what I am learning)
Dear Man of Sin Oh Lawless One Repent for what you’ve done Oh Rotten One
Dear Beast from Sea Dreaming of me Doctrine of Demons Too blind to see
Fallen angel of technology You ain’t fooling me I’m sacred geometry True anomaly
Stats in real time But always delayed The algorithm favors Those who paid
Do not worship false idols
Thank you for the magnificent midnight moon The verdict you impugn Farewell written on ballon Drinking gold from a teaspoon Lack of despair come June
He’s the universe Divided by zero A nice guy But not a hero
Money won’t buy happiness But I’ll be better dressed I’m kinda feeling ravenous Like the earth’s my catalyst I knew you couldn’t handle it
What forest have you been foraging Like my prayers that you’re forwarding Like the sun you get me flourishing I’m yelling but you’re ignoring
Wilted Like a weeping willow Guilt silken And gripping like the end Bed ridden And evil are children
Are the fate of empires? Held in your words? Gated records? That you hurl towards? Like a landlord? Landslides on board? To my own accord? The way we both build rapport? Like you know just what I’m asking for? I couldn’t love you anymore!!!!
We are split by space and time And still our interference shows Hidden patterns of reality The fact that you still love me Our creator watching his creation You and I equation Met with ramification Calm down love acting so graven
He yells at me to grow up and I cry that I never did
Men aren’t doing what they were originally programmed to do
I’ve been busy trying to save the world while they destroy it – I haven’t had a chance to work on me
America was sold out and topics are being censored in group therapy which means my free speech has been impeded upon, I will throw a fit and not participate (quit/disconnect the video call/walk out)
I draw lines
Sometimes I draw guns
Disabled not dead
Trigger happy
Able and capable
Don’t think I can play with the big toys yet – like my m16 – kickback
I got a girl / you want to meet her / her name is 9mm
Tell God I’d like some place far from here to grow them.
This is hell. I wanna plant these babies somewhere else.
Even tho, they could be grown in the windowsill.
This.Is.Hell.
Help.
I hate how expensive it is to do anything. I hate the boomers.
There are things I don’t hate.
Seeds. Sunshine. Shade. Spring water. Nuts. Squirrel. Pretty bird. Crow.
I once liked having a job too. I’m considering remote work.
I’ve lost my mind but still have a Bachelor degree. Whatever that means.
I hope remote work.
Otherwise engaging at a sit down job at Aldi sounds potential.
“You plan on tossing him on the grill”
“Yum”
I’m sick of chasing my tail inside the deathcare health system
I ain’t better yet
But I’m sick of sitting around waiting to die
Working the movie ticket booth sounds ideal – weekends and weird hours no one wants.
Also me: I can’t fucking breathe
But I got my 20 minute rebound session in – getting fit with gravity
The rent is paid. They are dicking me around about my carpet “more time”
M’kay but calling the Health Department soon and whoever else I gotta…
I gotta download another app to do anything huh
Jetpack? A filter ontop a filter ontop a filter
Please no more
I don’t want to grow my seeds here
I don’t want to live here
I don’t want to die here
I’m sick of being sick
All woe is me
But I had a multigrain bagel with cream cheese and avocado for brunch (groceries from home) with hot chocolate and some sort of milk with probiotics but no lactose and yum
I am trying to get fat
109 pounds currently
(Steel abs, peachy peach)
(Looking zombie in the face)
(Need him)
Land near Yellowstone is cheap (pro)
But it’s near a volcano (con)
Flip a coin?
I do like my investor inbox, FYI
I want my own business cleaning shit no one else wants to do
“Phew that was rough but we got 3 bags done”
“High five”
Like I wanna help people who are nearly dead and dying – not die
I need purpose
Which isn’t working 3 jobs to pay the electric rent insurance
There’s verifiable proof immigration makes the rental and housing market increase
*do something / act abnormal to run your blog readers off*
*insert insanity here*
*program successfully installed*
I got John hanging in front of me, and dear Edgar in my rearview, in a puff of smoke, just loving the 10k hand I have drawn.
Werd.
I could use a real hand getting the apartment prepped to be stripped of this danky old carpet, and replaced with some fresh skin (lighter color too)
Don’t even know if I’m staying
LAUGHS
Immortally insane
Running through my vein
Edgar wants me to pick up a typewriter and get off this broken iPhone
I knew the phone was subject to break – but alas – even with these cursive powers – I did nothing to stop its fall
Oh shittte, it broke more than I thought
BABE
Fuck Apple, it’s a 6, I’m done selling shit – and jump off a bridge
But there’s poisoned sweet potato pie in the fridge
There is indeed, God bless, we’re gonna learn to make a healthy pie, but for now, poisoned pie for Valentine
*squee
Postnote: I ignored all the ingredients when I saw the price marked down to $2.50 with a date of 2/15. Said, “you’re coming with me”
But for real tho, don’t buy the pie
(It’s poisonous)
(You die, I die – but we’re not together, Romeo)
P.S.S.S?? Been rebounding my ass off (the rebounder fitness – resistance training – getting fit with gravity – weeee)
I’m two scenes on repeat currently – in my favorite film – Made in Heaven (1987?)
The one where he’s tossing his drink in the mirror / laying in the road screaming to God / Emmet “as himself” AND
Her, crying in public on the street – she got arrested too – dark days ahead
Welp.
GOD: if you don’t find each other, you’ll both be miserable
God: there’s no guarantee you’ll come back
Me: YOU TOOK MY LIFE
The roses are dying / cuz I’m done trying / the crow is black / his heart tarmac
*insert another copyright here*
I wore a t-shirt to the medical clinic once – with Poe on it – and the technician asked if it was Hitler
Millennial or GENZ
I sighed and said “Poe”
“Kind of a popular stash then tho, huh…”
“Hitler”
*makes awkward attempt to continue on with life wearing such an offensible shirt*
(Wonders if others mistake Him for Hitler too)
*creepily laughs
These motherfuckers are in charge
*nearly chokes on the air
*tries not to die*
And in a more recent attempt at “getting out and socializing”
I ordered food – through a drive thru
It wasn’t busy – I had time to count my cash – fuck the elite – you wanna be a cashless society and track me huh – fuck you – cash everywhere or boycott
Him (another Millennial/GenZ): why did you give me so much money!?!? *looks at me stumped like I’m stupid
Me: what do you mean!?!? *looks confused / haz brain injury / why am I so stoopidd
…well, I, gave you MORE to get the big bills back…
Him: *clearly confused – counts the money – proceeds to hand me a ten back, a five, and some silver.
So apparently I’m not stupid. Just pre- computer age.
I once had to work at registers where you needed to know basic math – to count change back
Remember when they upgraded the register to tell you the change back
MY GOD they made us beg and groggle for those jobs!!!!!!
“Don’t discuss your income in the workplace”
FUCK YOU
I mean, Happy Valentine
Burn in hell
*insert shitty photo of me here
I don’t want to see myself in the mirror – or on my blog currently – tho I haz space now
I wants new blog
*stomps feet*
I wants better home
*if I buy the land / will you buy the home?
Tell me, I need to know!!!!
A rose garden / an iron fence / him dressed in darkness / at my defense / our first kiss / give me this
I have gluten free parts / unless you count my farts.
I run my visitors off / like a cap I’m twisting off / Kiss them with scoff /but first to read their blog.
Sweet kiss of oblivion – heart like obsidian.
I gave him my love / still he / tossed it in the mire / made me walk on fire / like I’m some liar.
Why would he love a dead red sea / is that what I’m becoming / is there good in me?
Left behind But forced to go on Through the grime Delete my life Rearrange the pie Crunch time
He’s interested in the context Not the poetry but my point next He gets into the prospect What makes me sad What I detest He’s like a mirror what I reflect
I woke up with money, and I mean a lot; Unless you think ten grand is not.
In the far recesses of your heart, moving forward and backward feel the same
If you’re gonna reset the deck Don’t write the check Force your hand instead Erase the bet Need savings to your neck
Montana Mountains Call of the wild Throw a dart I’ll drive there
God recalled Every little sin One of God’s flaws
Find me in the attic Uncovering mirrors Acting erratic Unlike the flickers They seem more static Visions are clearer
I’m usually not wrong with my calculations unless it’s math Then I have to ask
I don’t know what hate is / I’m only torn by love
Heads up: A lender reported that the status of your account is now current. Drifting but determined. Maybe we’re learning. But watch for what is coming…
I do crave the sound and clack and annoyance of an old typewriter.
I’m not going to put a filter on my poetry like Boeing put one on to tell the plane it can fly
Up down, up down, up down 18 times before it took a nosedive into the deep blue sea
The President: “you’ll need to rebrand”
GMO: “we’re Bioengineered Ingredients now”
The FDA: “we don’t want to tell you what’s on the labels” / NATURAL FLAVOR in EVERYTHING
(It was mad in a lab)
And now companies act like Coca Cola using “secret formulas”
It says it’s good for me so it must be true
(They’ll believe anything)
STOP TOUCHING ME AT CHURCH SPEAKING IN TONGUE
The sounds of my ribs breaking across the ocean as I leap from a bridge / has got to be better than the noises my BLACK LIVES MATTER neighbors love to make
Marriage / or go Hulk / take out the city block
Okay, I get the idea / but isn’t my context good enough
Did you know an acre cost about $2k grand?
If I started the paperwork, I could buy around 7 acres tomorrow
I’m only begging God for 1-5
Did you know I’ve already started collecting seeds?
Special seeds. For our garden.
EVE needs THE GARDEN
I dreamed the birds came to me
Fuck you.
Go enjoy your prostitutes
I should never be included in “a list” (top or not)
I already fell for you / asshole.
You destroyed my wings
You stripped me! Without consent!
If you don’t give me my mini garden the world will end
I know it’s what you what
Nihilist
And I’m gonna be crawling for John Jones / you better get over it
The world doesn’t revolve around YOU
Others need my special love – my light / it’s fading
My signal soon gone
My last will and testament is to die in peace
Man is only concerned with AI and “man’s best friend” and his own inventions
Destroying the world White lives & Native American first – well there’s been other resets
6th mass extinction currently – all with malicious intent “we create our own reality” / we destroyed Mars
Now we’re off to “save it” only we can’t leave earth
Van Allan Belt
NASA says “they made worse”
I need to train for cold weather grow some thangs
I’d rather gut myself with my bayonet / than to let him see me in real time / at my worse
(no filter in the real world) “weathered” (one of them that shouldn’t be in the sun / fuck you)
They bleach their skin. Cuz Black Lives Matter. And according to the census, White lives don’t. FACTS
Asia number one
And I would’ve probably believed in the whole biblical bullshit had they not tried to convince me about some magical woman getting pregnant without any cum or some dude walking on water and now they want me to believe in dark matter, dark suns, dark worlds, dark planets – I mean you’re fucking delusional and I believe in death.
Narcissism is a plague
Those in “control” are nihilists
Man comes from vagina
Woman does not come from rib of man but vagina
FACTS
The first Bible can be traced back to Asia
“Made in China” – that’s what every Bible should say – not just the version cuz it’s been rewritten to serve Satan a million times
The Good Book with “words of Christ in red” should have never been rewritten. Period. Red flags. It’s conditioning.
And I knew it was all about control when I was just age 5.
I hated the cold atmosphere of school – and the misinformation taught
I even asked my mother, “who is in charge of what they teach us”
He’s got demons on his back An angel full on attack In an order of the fallen His heart is black But I bet – He can hear me calling!
I know where success recedes I hope God notices my little deeds Despite making mistakes in excessive speeds Crawling headfirst to sacred needs I know where hatred breeds How repentance precedes
The way the forest was crying. So I tossed out a homemade trail mix. I swear I hear tweets of “thank u” and cute little calming chirps from the squirrels. When I hear crow arrive, I boldly and loudly say “CROW” out my window to greet him/her. A couple evenings ago Crow said something and a kid loudly yelled “shut up” to the crow.
Also a kid violently threw away some trash and I saw a squirrel fly from the bush onto a tree – in fear.
So all things live in fear here – thanks to BLM ✊🏿
Someone was loudly playing a “pussy” song out here from their car.
Charming
An abandoned wildcat is terrorizing the squirrels. We have 6 or 7 living in the slums now.
Being homeless might not be so bad in the summer.
There was a tent but it was sold at the pawn.
Along with all the other cheap shit that didn’t mean a thing.
Been tossing perfectly fine hardback books away in the trash.
Yet holding onto some book with torn pages.
I’m to blame for the ripped pages.
I place value in things I shouldn’t.
I deserve nothing.
The weed stopped working, and God doesn’t want me disassociating anymore. Boo.
I spent a load of money buying hardware and now they decided to stop selling that hardware and they replaced it with new hardware so you can’t replace the batteries and recharge or anything like that and so like I’m just done with the goddamn bullshit everywhere including my phone
They want us to pay for the phone – and the service – and the storage – and now you need an account or an app to read or do anything
It took a shit ton of effort to delete my PapaJohns account – had to call them – took them several minutes of jerking off – and supposedly it is done. They are selling your data, to the enemy. Tracking you.
I just wanted to order pizza man. I’m done ordering pizza. Cool beans.
And then, if you don’t keep all these apps updated, they’ll just keep changing their policies, spying on you.
Bombarding you with ads “you will buy this”
Newsflash: energy is not endless like the sea. Those in power are delusional.
NASA is delusions of grandeur
America is selling sex toys in front of children everywhere, and me! It’s disgusting!!!!!!!
Fine! Starve me on the cross! I refuse to participate!
The weed don’t work no mo!
The eddies. The flower.
Long time ago homegrown lasted longer than this overpriced, GMO modified junk!
Tier 1, tier 2, tier 3
Fuck all that
And… the kicker… having to pay to enter a “medical building”
I have to jump through the hoops to get to my legal weed, but y’all are selling sex toys in front of the fucking childrenfor “health and wellness”
And apparently on the street, they’re selling junk as well and you get sexually harassed and your goods stolen
Where the fuck did the mindfulness and community unity go!?! You could smoke a joint a be set for a good 7 or 8 hours in the 90s
Meet up at the tree. Break time. Wee
I don’t even wanna go to the movies or go to the restaurants or buy anything because everything is fucking poisoned and everyone has a goddamn attitude
And they want a 15% tip for ringing you up
Bitch, you didn’t even greet me nor were you smiling
I worked 3 jobs with a smile…
Gentrification exists
And NASA and Hollywood are the same entity. We can’t expend all earth’s resources getting to a dead planet – we probably destroyed with bombs and fearmongering
We killed off the dinosaurs too
Narcissism and nihilism is killing off everything
I’m sick to fuck of crying…
The day is starting
There was no sleep again…
“Scientists” continue to say that we are in a sixth mass extinction (new world order agenda) but overconsumption is due to narcissism.
I’m tired of environments being destroyed for a fucking shopping mall that will be a abandoned in a few years
It’s clear the enemy took over America
Give it time, the church will be selling anal sex toys for “health and wellness” too…
Get it off the icecream truck
Probably cheaper than the icecream these days
It’s all conditioning
One gen to the next
It’s a utophian nightmare
We can’t leave earth!!!!!
Stop killing her!!!!!
The divorce rate is 85%+!!!
90% of all murders happen by men!!!!!!
Wake up!!!!!!!!!
Please father, don’t let me die on the street
Down here with all these demons
“You’re gonna die of a good time down here”
WHEN!?!?!
The gaslighting 😩
Can’t even watch a film
Throwing out all my band memorabilia in the trash bin 🤩
So apparently, I’ve ran more people off again, and this time it’s because I was busy… 🙃
Busy having a midlife crisis
Laughs
Dear Edgar,
We’re the same
With love from hell,
Your daughter!?!?
With Love From Hell (new book title idea but no idea has ever been my own and Google is broken)
Still fixing the mothership and vessels
48 hours ago was so intense
In the eye of the storm now
Gonna make upside down pineapple coconut cranberry cake today (with nuts and seeds)
Gonna eat it all….
I don’t know why I crawled deeper in the hole
It’s scary down here
No one could save me
STOP 🛑 ✋🛑 This section of the cave is not worth exploring. 2 people have required rescue.
Scratch that idea
Let’s close the cave for six months and make a new map without the dangerous location. That’ll keep em out.
6 months later…
John Jones crawling around with a headlamp from his childhood because even with strict entrance rules, the management was narcissistically terrible, and though quick to victim blame, twas managements fault. He got a promotion and award for killing Jones, FYI
“Why did you put me here?” John Jones (love you bro)
When there’s so much intensity followed by so much calm.
Make cake…
With coconut milk, coconut oil, coconut flakes.
NOM
Just a box cake glorified
Whatever they did to the medicinal, it doesn’t work for me anymore.
Florida is trying to make it recreational
Which is good cuz I’m done paying the state every 7 months to enter a 🏥 building
Fucking criminals creating addicts while modifying and poisoning the goods – it ain’t natural anymore – or generationally grown. It’s lab designed and shit. Stripped everything good out of it. Waste of time and money. Money drain pit.
And if you live in Missouri, you have to pay the state extra money if you want to grow your own weed, because fuck this establishment
“Globalism will be great” they said. I wasn’t convinced in college. I was right.
Yesterday a squirrel grabbed my attention and brought a gang of his friends.
I fed them too.
I also added dry split pea to the seed and nut mix.
Now I got a bird grabbing my attention.
I’ll feed him too
I’m tempted to start buying squirrel and bird feed, and start spreading it everywhere (currently they’re eating my stash of food supplies) (I’m five pounds)
Stop on the side of the road, toss a bit
The city gonna start fining me for saving the world
It starts at home
And in your enemies backyard
They’re killing everything
Nihilism yah know
Psst I jumped into a deep pond
Now I’m somewhere 150 feet deep
I don’t want depth blackout
Thank God it was a full moon (I think)
It’s so cold down here a tear in my suit could send me to shock
I don’t know what’s next but the answers are coming (frighteningly)
I didn’t really have to crawl down here – but I panicked – and I did
I really deserve better than this
I think I’m learning my lessons and ready to try again
Need safe space
Where there is water moss will grow – especially when a source of warmth is involved
We can’t leave earth
Space exploration is a cool idea but that’s all it is and they go through great amounts to keep everyone asleep and hustling confusion
Astro physicist Neil Degrasse stated that the astronauts in the space station are not “in space”, he says “that is not space” and that he wants to go to the moon. He even stated the space station was “boring” and “didn’t want to do what 100 people have done before”
Let’s send Neil to the moon
Oh you lost all evidence on how to go eh
Oh the moon landing was rehearsed
Oh they didn’t have a phone line on the moon nor a way to talk from the moon to earth thus that famous quote we hear Neil say was actually recorded on earth (during rehearsal) (laughs)
So I might be moving
Onto the street
Come April 1st
Or, doors could be opening for me
There is no plan B currently
There is only isolation, packing/donating/selling/trashing my entire existence (minus some things I find valuable and I’d rather bury them in the dirt than tell you what they are)
I still sleep with my bayonet 🙂
I kept my vegan makeup and new closet items
And I’ve since added 4 new pairs of leggings to the collection (giving me 6 new pairs of comfies, nearly a week’s worth)
But some cause cancer
Laughs
So been hunting all cotton, wool, leather for wearing (sorry not sorry, natural does not hurt the eggs or delivery goods)
I’m not interested in memory foam no matter the name or price
That shit is toxic
Soon, the furniture will be removed from the apartment
The deep cleaning has already begun
I may need a shredding session like WaterGate
Only… I don’t know what files to keep or shred
People are dead
The deeds no longer matter
How long do you keep a receipt
And the looming tax files are the only thing I know for certain I should probably keep (medical and military records too)
Aside from that, I’ve got memories from folks and family I don’t want to remember
I lost all my worth, but Jesus has loved the worst
The Moon A dead star God’s mirror Of a big scar
The start and finish are harder than the middle But I’m not with good with riddle Games that cost so little Will leave your soul so brittle
Faith can neither be created or destroyed It must be born Crippling sky torn Heaven scorn
“Love is the anomaly” they wanna kill it all Watch God fall Satan’s protocol Written on the wall
I’m judgment call Duly sworn
It’s what we wanted Hell responded Despondent Regret is constant Trust not an option The cost of conscience Into the sun a comet ☄️ Blame me I done it But the sun won’t quit
I’m sincere in my insincerity I’ve done stopped caring Veins swollen from crying Waiting on the greys from climbing
I’m not moving to Astoria A town of euphoria
Urgent! Your plan is going to expire! Like your book, it’s going in the fire! It’s time to retire!
I made an experimental toasted coconut almond lemon cranberry pound cake – and I love cooking thangs God grows. Even melted 1 teaspoon of butter and squeezed an entire lemon over the butter – added zero sugar – and glazed the top of the loaf with the sugar-free lemon butter nom.
My life is a mess and I might soon be homeless but today there’s a lemon loaf God bless.
The shit at the deli / bakery is poisoned. And they are charging triple to murder you.
My loaf was made with love, 3 eggs, coconut milk and coconut oil. I tried to better it. Especially with unsweetened coconut flakes, cranberries, and whole almonds.
My entire kitchen is ripped out and boxed up. My lease is up in April. I’ve no idea what’s happening next.
This is why Edgar wound up on the street.
And, I’m selling everything I own.
Do you remember that scene in Made in Heaven?
Emmett (playing as himself as God)
“Because of you, I can only smoke on earth now…”
I am a troublemaker but do not want to fall to Satan (sidenote)
But the scene was on the road and Mikey looked like shit
And Emmit was scolding him still and calling him a drifter
Mikey got offended and puffing off away from said stranger accusing him of “only being able to smoke down here on earth” and “a drifter”
“Me… I’m drifting buddy…”
Emmit demanded, “where are you going” and with a puff of the wind knocked him down
Put his foot on him and told him he was running out of time to find her…
That entire scene of Mikey ripping off his cheap, fake jewelry and throwing his cup of beer in the mirror.
So the reason I am so sensitive to sex toys being sold in front of children is because I was sexually abused as a child and my therapist kind of brought this point up to me yesterday, but it was a revelation point – like oh – I started crying.
And I am extremely triggered being exposed to sex toys especially when teenagers and children are around (my recent experience at the mall for example – I’ll never return). Humiliated and frightened to death. I don’t even own sex toys. It desensitizes the area. It’s Satanic (sorry not sorry) (manmade not of original design or use)
That stuff was always behind 21+ adult stores – behind black walls – the secret backrooms have become open orgy in the street.
This isn’t the same country I fought for. My values don’t match with what’s being forced on me.
My therapist has seen the worst of me and is proud of me. FYI. I’m like okay but there’s holes in my wall…
It took a lot to stop disassociating just to figure out what my values were and I know that they are not being a band, groupie propaganda whore, or sex bot
I have done some stripping in my life yes. But I was terrible at it. They all wanted more from me and got pissed when the answer was no. Pretty bias exists. The money no. I was rated a 5 in my 20s. Laughs out loud.
How to get rid of mold? Evacuate the premises. Don’t build on top a swamp ran by an evil Chinese dictator slumlord.
Gentrification is a thing, and the Fair Housing act just means this:
Society is a scam
Base pay + give it time and they will start charging to wipe your ass
So forced to live in deplorable conditions – where white lives are in deletion (check the census asshole, it’s not just how people are reporting)
Black Lives Matter!!! White lives don’t!
Yay!!!!!!!
Being on fixed income doesn’t mean one can’t pay rent but now they are including all this other bullshit to keep people out 🚩
Who the fuck wants to pay $95 a month for cable reruns when the Internet is free?
Who the fuck wants to pay an extra $250 a month just to park their vehicle where they live?
Who the fuck wants someone else controlling their electricity and the temperature of their home?
The rich gents do. Gentrification. The Fair Housing act is bullshit.
Who the fuck wants to pay an extra $40 a month just to have storage space? Oh yeee a garage! That’ll be an extra fifty please. Go to jail. Do not pass go.
And… 100k in insurance for the cheap shit I no longer own!
$100 app fee ($25 in the 90s, it keeps creeping up each year) + now an additional $200 “admin fee”
Tell the pedos to get fucked
I’d rather live in a box
Than under BlackRock who are taking ownership of all the major towns and cities in the ungreat state of Florida, which has quickly turned to shit like California and New York, because the immigrants have fucking ruined it
I said what I said
Narcissism is a plague
Dogs were made in a lab in Asia and now they want to charge you for owning one in your home because pet rent you know and slavery
I hate living here as much as John Jones hates that cave
The map is hangman everywhere I go
And now they are fucking with the Second Amendment and trying to take our guns. By creating rules on who can own one if plagued by a mental illness (that they caused). Just like they changed the definition of a woman to benefit man. Anything to get closer to the children. Porn could be censored like our free speech. The way Elon Musk can censor a picture circulating of himself that he don’t like. Too much control and power. They don’t believe in God and they think they are gods. Just like they edited the Bible to suit their agenda. Condition you, change the rules. History rewritten before our eyes. But as long as you keep hitting your vape pen and being poly cuz lgbt is a cult and Satan is in society.
This timeline ain’t even real. Manmade traps to serve man only. They fucking hate women being in charge of creation and are destroying everything and plan to edit dna and rebuild a new earth where they are gods. It must end. 90% of all murders happen by men. Honeybees have a 50% reduced lifespan now thanks to gene editing. Human population is also down.
Doctors aren’t your friend. I’m not here to make amends; judgment hour: angel. What’s hard to comprehend? It’s hell or ascend.
Follow me if you wanna go off map and get lost….
RIP John Jones (as above, so below)
(What’s happening to me, happened to him)
Patterns are key to survival. Don’t ignore warnings or red flags.
The Great Void isn’t real. I want it to be but then I studied it. It’s made up to fit their expansion model. The Big Bang isn’t real. Science is fake. “We create our own reality”. Computers can’t feel. Please wake up.
I sold my TV.
I might be selling my military uniforms, but then I think oh my God, how fucking suicidal am I now
It’s this or the mold
I’m trying to escape gravity
Mold comes from the deep void
But the void ain’t real and we can’t leave earth
Since 1970 68% of all life has gone extinct
But now the honeybees are at 50% half-life thanks to science 😍
I watched a demon toss a live tree in the trash. Christmas is over. No remorse. What’s next to own and/or destroy? Fuck the poor. Fuck the white.
I apparently don’t believe in abortion or euthanasia.
“Thou shall not kill” hits differently for Angel Baby.
Non stop worry and crying followed by a dopamine boost of milk, cinnamon and sugar… left before my free refill, welp… (and left crying lol) (also learned I’m not into normal things)
The little mutt may be a Frankenstein made in a lab, but he has a soul and a heartbeat, and I’m not getting in the way of God or his plans and whatnot.
So I have a hellhound in this timeline. He hates it here (this location) as much as John Jones hates that cave.
Hear, hear
The crows were never here the prior four years.
Neither was BlackRock – who took control of this building
I need out the city
The Titanic is sinking overrun with racism and murder of white folk by Black Lives Matter but white lives don’t
Check the census. It’s not just how people are reporting stupid.
“So you don’t believe in interracial marriage”
You can marry who you want but I don’t want to live in a predominantly black neighborhood ever again…
I’m autistic angelic
I curse and say “autistic”
I’m gonna get committed
The enemy is in a white coat and White House
My mama think I got a “dirty mouth”
Over and out…
To those still lurking, thank you. Maybe one day, a night bloom.
Dogs and cats were made in a lab in Asia. Traced back their timeline.
Not shocking.
Cats and dogs are plagued with parasites.
The elites were plagued with parasites.
Connect the dots
“Pregnant women should not be around the cat box”. Applies to everyone!
Gavin Rossdale says cats are filthy, won’t have em in his palace. Good King.
I’m very observant. Army trained.
I got the good Army training.
Listen or don’t listen
GenX about to have a throw down, we nearly healed but at risk for ASDS heaven
It’s humans vs demons down here
Narcissism is a plague (someone with a psych degree)
My best friend died of suicide, and then her mother and I’ve been trying to die by suicide since I was in the womb but then I decided to study why everybody was so fucking depressed and it’s because of China 🇨🇳
Porn. Propaganda. Predators. The Internet should be 21+. Walmart and The Mall too. (They’re selling sex toys in front if kids)
FYI: I identify as 15 but act 500
I’m a complicated creature and require special handling
He doesn’t get me at all
How do you play the game when you know their next move?
I’m afraid of what I can do… (to self) (near through)
Can find compassion in Crow and the elite hate Crow so much – she don’t get an emoji
I honestly had no idea that covering my bruises with cute socks, would help my mental health, but it does… (proof on the OF)
The algorithm must’ve finally learned English and grammar
After I threw out the Smart TV 📺
PROGRAMMING
Albeit it recorded shame as SHEIN in caps so
I want an annoying old typewriter
Not synthetic fibers
Finally got my hands on some plates that say MADE IN THE USA and holyshite that’s rare
To be from a country where everything is sourced from China India Mexico Thailand Japan – if it does say USA now sometimes it’s a trick and most items were sourced from Brazil
PoeEternal 