writing – Page 3 – PoeEternal

Posted on October 11, 2023 by poeeternal

Sinister

You’d want to fuck the dead
Fill the sun with dread
Make them feel humility
You have the ability

Posted on October 10, 2023 by poeeternal

Kite

Happy as a kite
The words you write
Like succulent cake
What a pair we’d make

Fell down the rabbit hole again
That’s where you’ve been
Like tumbling down the tower
Need you any hour

Posted on October 8, 2023 by poeeternal

Gypsy & Ghost

Where did she go?
Wandering in a sea of abyss?
From the words off his lips?
Like a gypsy moving with the wind?

What hath sailed?
Lies foretold we reminisce?
Love is rare like an eclipse?
Reasons we can’t comprehend?

Maybe you’re lying dormant
Winter’s a time to cool
Maybe I’m not important
When others give you fuel

I wish I could remember my own worth
I’m like your shadow always following
Be the one you’re living for on earth
Instead a ghost always wallowing

I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU SEE / LOVE WHAT YOU LOVE ❤️

I miss making photography. I hope I’m in a space to do so again this lifetime.

Apparently Kat Von D denounced her witchery and burned all her witchcraft books and got baptized yet still performs with stripper polls on stage.

I like the baptism and burning of the books.

I’d rather see her follow Christ and listen to the Cure than be all Satanic.

Can we talk about how the Bible has been re-written to be Satanic tho?

Now I need to wash out my tongue for mentioning the Unholy One.

🎃

Posted on September 30, 2023 by poeeternal

Under

The fact that he drops in
Like moonlight in the cracks
He likes her writing
It gets under my skin

I guess I’m a ghost then
I guess we’re parallax
And I’m still searching
For where my life begins

Find me here: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal

Posted on September 27, 2023September 27, 2023 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Obituary

Would you write my obituary?
And lay to rest all the sins I carry?
For to sadness I am married
And our love it should be buried

They come
They go
It’s my fault though
Status too low
Weep like willow

You’re always on the run
Never stop running
You’re never having fun
Complain the sun is sunning

I’ve never had anything, and now I’ve got too much.
And I could lose it anytime, that’s always been my luck.

I’m sorry but I’m not
I said what I thought
Feelings come and go
Sometimes I take a shot
No matter lesson told
I say it on the spot
You know I can be cold

People already think so lowly of me, I can’t get anymore low.

But it’s easy to judge when your grass is always green.

I’ve been on this earth unmarried for eons, it’s literally hell.

I like being naughty sometimes but I never was that naughty.

We’re literally born nude and we can’t take our clothing to heaven.

I miss doing spicy photography.

I don’t know what to tell you

I just wish I was already moved.

But I’m holding out for land instead of spending uppers of $6k to jump apartment’s.

I am overdue a new environment.

It’s hard to be inspired and motivated in a place I can’t stand.

I’ve only ever posted nude photos, never compromised myself by doing anything other than photography. Though many requests came in with $$$ offerings and I ran folks off.

I have some very cute outfits and have been working out despite growing old.

95% of my household items are gone. Either sold, donated or dumped.

Things are in boxes minus my closet.

I still sleep on the floor.

So think what you will of me, but I miss my tribe.

My accounts were active and I had a lot of traffic.

Now everything is stagnant.

I’m tired of stagnation.

I don’t see anything wrong with nude art.

It teaches me how to be a woman, something man has failed at doing.

But they gave me my username back, and that makes me feel better. 😘

I’m terrible with secrets.

I don’t know where I’m going, I just know I don’t want to be here.

Stuck in a literal black hole.

Need some routine and inspiration in my life.

Don’t even like this city.

Wanna burn all the bridges down.

Stuck in purgatory

LOST 😞

Find me at: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal

Posted on September 4, 2023 by poeeternal · 8 Comments

Landscape

Could be mars
Waiting on you
Or falling stars
The distance you do

Healing scars
When sky is blue
Earth should be ours
But you’re as far as moon

So I’m 130 pounds now. The protein shakes and doughnuts are definitely working. Photos from yesterday.

Posted on August 31, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Almost Pt 2 (freestyle poetry)

I almost followed you
Down dreary days
And thicket forests
Searching rainbows
Behind sullen skies

Peering hopelessness
Digging up rotten regrets

I nearly ran to your sorrow
And planted beneath
The light that followed

So only calloused calls
Would echo from the hollow

I almost heard you cry
The grumble of Apollo

But only darkness lies
The beating of tomorrow

I WAS NOT TRYING TO WRITE A RHYME

I MADE HUGE EFFORT TO NOT RHYME

BUT MY MIND HAD A MIND OF ITS OWN

I STILL LOVE HIM

Plant me a rose garden dear? In our cemetery.

Posted on August 30, 2023 by poeeternal

Almost (freestyle poetry)

Like all of the dirt was swept under the rug
And tongue twisted lies were a shadow of smug
For the pressure of meaning was soft like a quilt
But the weight of the wrong was as heavy as guilt

And we speak in code like our lives are a riddle
But the circle of destiny is not in the middle
And try as we might the cross has been hung
But only regret can measure our tongue

I almost hit like on your post 😩

By accident 😩

Weighed in at 130. The protein shakes are working.

Sorry about the weird start of the poem – like lines are missing – an incomplete idea – but this is what was flowing out and I wanted to get it down

I hope you like it

Find me at: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal

Posted on August 23, 2023August 23, 2023 by poeeternal · 7 Comments

Please

Please pick up a feather and write me a letter
Please open your eyes and bring us sunrise
Please do right a wrong and don’t take very long
Please deliver fall and give me a call

So this guy turned 12 on Saturday. Mostly a good boy. He hates the neighborhood and I don’t blame him one bit. There’s nothing to like. We wanna move. He’s trying to make it to 13. And despite the ups and downs, I didn’t give up on him. Tribulations.

I contacted my mom on my birthday. She was happy to hear from me. She said she loved me but I never said it back.

Just wanted her to know I made it to 45.

She also kept bringing up my sister who died and I also never responded about her.

She wants to see me so I might be getting a visitor this year.

Maybe.

P.S. I’m obsessed with Pinko blazers and clothing and getting a new wardrobe. Never wore a blazer in my life and now I got a weeks worth. Even got a Beetlejuice looking one. Cuz.

I may or may not share my new wardrobe at some point. Doing it for me and no one else. Not dressing for views. But it kills the blues (shopping).

People want me posting more but it’s so much work and I can’t break 300 views.

I think I’m just exhausted in all areas of life and would rather sit outside. It’s hard for me to connect.

I’m literally dead inside.

No empathy, no sympathy.

Pissed off at the world.

Just talk to God mostly. Cry. Pray. Regret. And then practice gratitude.

I am grateful for my closet.

For owning clothing I wanna wear.

But I don’t wanna go anywhere.

Time to just be dressy cuz.

“What’s the occasion?”

“We’re in hell and I’m alive….”

Can’t take nothing with me to heaven.

Would be 10x happier if I moved somewhere the mold wasn’t killing me.

Posted on August 15, 2023 by poeeternal

Mapping

There’s something in my life that I’m still lacking
And during full moon hear the devil laughing
But maybe it’s just sorrow
Weeping louder than tomorrow
Still I cannot grasp the destiny I’m mapping

But maybe that’s the fallacy of trying
I know that failures never gratifying
You fall from roof
Then chip a tooth
And laughter sounds the same as bitter crying

You ever been stalked by some psycho bitch? Who sends her psycho friends to also stalk you? Then threatens you with a lawyer if you mention her?

Challenge accepted. Send your lawyer psycho bitch.

You’re as delusional as a Christmas fruitcake.

I’m not the type to be silenced or stolen from.

Be careful the strangers you buy from on TikTok.

Her lives were so damn depressing, after awhile I felt uneasy tuning in. 😬

Eventually cut the cord and she went full psycho.

Poem unrelated just an afterthought.

TBH his poem likely inspired my poem.

Posted on August 11, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Nothing

Nothing is as before
The sun ain’t yellow
The way people plead
And bust down every door
But they don’t bleed
When they bellow
They just unravel
And yell at me
Offer poisoned apple
That I don’t need
Still I’m under cover
Collecting seed

Linkys: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal

P.S. I finally stopped losing weight and gained weight and am now 120 pounds (still size small)

Women look at me with contempt often. I guess they need someone to blame. I had a basketful of treats and doughnuts 🍩 while ordering a footlong sub at Publix and could feel their eyes burning me. I tell no lies. They were not happy with me at all. Or were projecting their own unhappiness. Either way, I’m still fitness rebounding and plan to include skating before I die (hopefully not soon). Have been going on more walks with my dog too. Don’t let them lie to you and say “10,000 steps don’t count”. My motto when rebounding for a minimum of 10 minutes is “every step counts”. Cuz even if you can only take one, eventually it will be 3 and 5. So keep going, keep moving. Spiral out. 🌀

I’m upgrading my rebounder soon.

Still waiting on the ps5 notification of “ready for pickup”.

Cake is in the future, but right now it’s candy bars, doughnuts, brownie bits, and muffins. Don’t judge me.

Cuz there were 5 staring me down while ordering food.

Like chill yo. I’m famished and dreaming of sweet treats.

I don’t want it to be my downfall cuz junk food is junk food.

It’s terrible for me. I’m gonna learn to make my own sweet treats to satisfy the cravings.

Anyhoo

P.S.S. Me and him (him and I) are so in sync, that I managed to order the exact tv stand as him, same color.

I even made a second trip to Walmart to find a stand, which they didn’t have one for my size. So reluctantly got back on Amazon and did a search and read through many reviews and fought with myself on color, and slept on it, then ordered.

Sent him a text of what I got (cuz) and he responded with a picture of his entertainment area. Same fucking one.

SAME ONE

He also ordered some shit that I got mad at him about but once it arrived said he was gonna return it (so glad)

He imprinted on me in my twenties and I had a dream about him as a child.

He’s a nihilist and most days I hold him in contempt

But I ain’t returning my TV stand just cuz it happens to be the same as his.

Maybe the algorithm is to blame.

AI is always watching

If we discuss a name via text message, TikTok will show me loads of content of shit I don’t wanna see

And I yell at him for it

We had not discussed tv stands tho

I just like to show him things I buy

And yell at him for things he buys

(Like random hotel rooms by “accident”)

“I didn’t realize I reserved a room” kind of shit

Or buying flags of another country cuz he’s a traitor with yellow fever but pretends he don’t know what I mean…

I’m a fucking oracle

I know everything but in fractal formation so nothing at all

AI did not decide on the TV stand I wanted

I even drove places hunting one down

The one I decided on came in many colors, but somehow I got THE EXACT one as his.

He’s probably my twin flame

Something weird is going on….

Tis all

I also ordered this bat wing purse thing and wallet – cuz I’m gothed out in pink these days (and my obsession was before the Barbie propaganda bullshit). I probably will stop spending money soon. I have nearly everything I need.

TikTok made me buy it. Check out Wicked Misfit for cool accessories. This is my 2nd purchase from them. Recommend.

Except a playstation membership and headset for social hours.

*sigh*

Anyone wanna gift me? 🤪

P.S.S. setting up the modem soon. Gonna be utilizing the living room again. Eating at the dinner table now instead of my bed. Adding more routine to my routine.

People miss me going live too, and now that I’m regaining weight instead of losing, I kinda wanna…

Dr. Peterson says you need routine – and there’s only so much cleaning and cooking I can do.

And my life is still disorganized after letting 95% of my belongings go

Posted on July 30, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Maybe

Maybe I should move to Boston
Maybe I should move to Maine
Maybe there’s another option
Maybe I’d be less insane

I ordered a new phone finally and it’s on its way soon. Maybe I will hate it as much as I hate my racist neighbors. Maybe I got Spartan blood…

Posted on July 17, 2023 by poeeternal

Judged (poems)

Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6
And your enemy won’t let you forget
You remember this?
You remember that?
The enemies on my throne
He’s wearing my damn hat!

You can’t unbreak the broken
Take back words spoken
The spell in your eyes
The holes that you hide

They were bred to kill and steal
I’m behind the wheel
Driving full speed
And it ain’t you’re automobile

Bred to kill and steal
Like they made the Devil’s deal
I will send you back to hell
That’s the real ordeal

When one door closes
Nail a board over it
Plant some roses
Don’t submit

The fury inside me
Hot as the sun
The fury inside me
Someone’s gonna burn

You can’t escape from prison
Until you realize you’re in one
Like the Devil’s maze
Calling shotgun

Remove yourself
Put your tail between your legs
And get some help
Support withheld
Look in mirror and do foretell
We’re parallel
The way your lies do spin
You’re a carousel

I’m gone
Fucking replace me
Won’t let you face me
I’m racing
Dust in cloud
I’m hasty
Like laced lace
Revenge is tasty

Too cold to care
Fuck me with I dare
You build despair
And I linger there

Sometimes I think I’m talking to a ghost
And he’s dropping breadcrumbs
Like he’s the one that I love most
But I’m still hungry…

Regret will eat you alive
Nightmares become visions you wear

We are going forward in reverse
Like the truth makes it hard for the knowing
Or where we’re actually going
Like living in a hearse
The spell is his verse
And try to break this curse
It’s poison that we’re sowing

My parents ruined my life
They only sought to bring me strife
Smile at me then stab me in my back
Complain it’s God I lack

Say I’m full of darkness
Laugh at me regardless
I wish my parents were dead
I’d piss on their grave instead

Already being trolled by a Boomer cuz my student loans were forgiven that he thinks I should pay so he can enjoy his retirement at GEN X expense

College was a scam met with government furloughs and hiring freezes

Government programs favor giving our best jobs to the immigrants cuz they work harder and are smarter (according to their accord)

I’m aware only X amount of people will qualify for student loan forgiveness

And I should keep secrets to myself

But a reporter know-it-all on TikTok said you’d get an email from the Department of Education if you qualified.

I haven’t received any emails at all

I’m not even certain if I paid anything on my loans or just kept them in good standing

Cuz I’ll get it paid back if I did and will need to pay taxes on it again, like I won the damn lottery – and it would probably put me in a different tax bracket

I’ll worry about that toilet clogging when it clogs

I’ve only just received two letters informing me that my debts were cancelled and that my obligation to pay them is over. Tell the Boomers to deal with it.

My loan providers are no longer allowed to contact me, according to the letters.

The weight is off my shoulders but the worry lines remain…

I’ve been in fight or flight mode so long now I don’t know how to shut it off and just be.

My birthday is next month, on the 19th

I’ve already spoiled myself

I have goals of paying off my 2 credit cards and buying some land not land locked and far far away from a city of despair and demons

I want it to take 15 minutes to walk to my mailbox times two squared

I need an umbrella, not for the rain but for the sun

People will look at me like I’m crazy

Byeee

My student loans were forgiven despite the Boomers wishes…

Posted on July 4, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Color (poems)

He’s the color of rufous
An absolute doofus
He’s the color of sky
With black in his eye

Wish we were exclusive
Instead of reclusive
Like dreaming is lucid
He’s the color of life

21 inch porthole
Thick socks for the cold
The vessel did implode
I guess it didn’t hold

They got crushed
Their vessel was rushed
Now they’re all just dust

Victories not just
The dangers were discussed
Labeled with mistrust

He never told me how much he loved me
Hot sun above me
Make me swoon
Left me for doom

There’s something in the water
I won’t barter
The coverup is worse than the crime
We’ve all lost our mind

Only the beginning
Can’t tell whose winning
The cold is chilling
Earth is spinning
Sun is not forgiving

The rich are the cheapest people
Definitely not my equal

SOS only
And I’m so lonely
My home ain’t homely

My shadow leaves me when it’s dark
When I’m shattered into pieces
And I feel I have no heart

My breath it nearly ceases
A landscape growing stark

I’m running out of patience
I’m afraid I’ll miss my mark
There’s very few releases

Immured in bitterness
It makes no difference
I’m dull, won’t take a risk
Skipping deaths kiss

The sun comes and goes
The ebb and the flows
Midnight lows
The oh’s and the throes
He could heal my soul
Or let it decompose
In the meadows
With the crows

Got the hexes on my exes
Nothing here perplexes
They’re reckless
My math is only guesses

I want to be her
The girl he swoons for
The one he adores
I want her blood on the floor
I want to see her die
Wouldn’t find a tear in my eye
But I’m an amateur

It’s hot and humid
I hate his hubris
Thinks we’re all clueless
Will betray like Judas

I don’t know what’s going on, says the captain
Knowledge lacking
Inside the cabin

Right is forward and left is back
Experts they lack
Inside a tiny shack

The question makes his blood run cold
He’s the Devil you know

If they’re not already dead they will be
That’s what the sources tell me
And I have a feeling that is sinking
With that submarine

I learned a new color name when I ordered a romper and so now it’s in a poem cuz

This rhyme scheme is all over the place just like the chaos in my life

That’s all

More cute rompers incoming

I’m apparently obsessed with buying clothes I will never wear

(Cuz I am a hermit)

Also, why am I so heartbroken over the unsinkable Titan sinking?

It kinda feels like our love?

Exciting but doomed to fail?

Do we get a fancy title?

I’m still completely sober and definitely still fighting off CUD

This is not the cute rompers I mentioned although this too is a romper but more like loungewear – the others are fancy pancy

I ordered this in small and it shipped so hopefully it fits and I got a good bargain for it

It was the last one in stock

OBSESSED and I’ll probably wear it to church or grocery shopping

IT’S NOT LIKE I’M DATING ANYONE

Dying and many people like to be best dressed during their final days

None of my uniforms fit anymore and I sold them at the surplus store for a humiliating price

Ever since TikTok gave me a free coupon, I stopped getting coupons – even though I had many coupons pending, they all disappeared

I hate TikTok and will no longer be shopping over there

Globalism and immigration has destroyed the Land of the Free

There’s nothing to celebrate today

Byeeeee

Posted on June 24, 2023 by poeeternal

Trouble

I got in trouble
For being nice
I guess the good girl
Gets sacrificed

Double penalized on TikTok for leaving a positive review.

Gotta walk on eggshells to avoid a ban.

TikTok rewarded me with a $15 coupon for the ass beating tho.

Then during the live chat to figure out WHY I’m in the doghouse, I was nearly booted for inactivity after being asked to wait 2-3 minutes to sort it…

Damned if I do, damned if I don’t

But the 15 dollar coupon helped…

I was pretty heated after taking time to review and upload photos to help support my review as it’s allowed – only to get penalized for giving a 5* rating…

It’s hell down here…

I bought a romper from the TikTok shopping

And some other things. Better photos when/if I stop breaking out in hives. 🙂

Posted on June 24, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Halo

I can see your halo
Far beyond the payload
Where you might implode
Your sanity erode

I can see your halo
Written in lost code
Changing course the road
Where you rest below

Photo doesn’t belong to me but neither does my hard-earned money.

And I’m finding my most viral videos uploaded on YouTube without my permission, without any payment, without any request of use, without any way to message or contact those using my work, without having downloads turned on for anyone to use at will.

I film a particular way – when I’m shooting the sea, or whatever I’m filming.

It’s all a fucking shitshow and I need 100k followers or something to turn ‘tips’ on.

Recently someone wanted to send me $200 – but they also have invited me to ‘live free’ at one of their condos they own.

Nothing about my life sounds safe or too good to be true.

Furthermore, I had to delete my PayPal, Cash App, and Venmo accounts due to spam and whatnot cuz not even my money is safe.

Banks are shutting down. Billionaires are being offed or are maniacally suicidal risk takers, at the expense of our tax dollars.

I’m not even certain if the IRS is legal.

And the Lie House is funneling our money to criminals in the Ukraine and God knows where else.

I finally put a work order in to service the AC for mold.

Cuz maintenance is always “I don’t smell any mold” but I’m fucking still breaking out in hives, either from a nervous fucking breakdown or actual moldy conditions not noticeable “it’s in the walls” reviews will say…

And I haven’t smoked any weed since May – so I’m past the two week window but it takes a minimum of 4 months to recover from CUD (Cannabis User Disorder) and I still have brain fog.

I’m doing a lot of cleaning tho – and I actually do my laundry and put it away immediately, a slight miracle to not be sleeping next to clean clothes.

I still have no furniture and sleep on the floor and I made another clothing purchase – albeit I slept on the decision first – like I nearly always do.

And even tho the flash code of 25% had already ended, it was still valid further sealing the deal.

I’m obsessed with Dolls Kill boutique and hunt down the cotton stuff, though have bought a few cute sets that were poly blends.

I also got house thangs and shoes which I’ll likely never wear and will stay in the box…

I’m pushing myself to go skating despite the hives and nervous breakdowns.

I bought bath rugs and kitchen oven mits from DK – cuz obsessed

And sales + discount codes on top of sales

You should see the jogger set’s I’ve scored and maybe one day you will

I think I’m looking less hideous than my recent TikTok posts but at least I’m not lying on the bottom of the seafloor in pieces.

So there’s that.

It feels nice getting things in the mail other than spam and bills.

I can’t opt out of the spam and the US post office is selling our data, just like I learned Papa John’s was doing – so I deleted my account (like 2 or 3 years ago) and basically stopped supporting big business.

I should be allowed to order pizza without my data being sold.

I hate (even worse) how society is ran now.

All the pencil dick dictator leaders brownnosing Big China – who wants to nuke us and have us live in fear 24/7

I had another nightmare last night, this time trying to escape zombies.

I’ve not been watching any horror movies or zombie things.

My nightmares always consist of me trying to escape something and finding myself in a closure I cannot escape.

Whether it be a room with no windows or doors, or something else. It’s always the climax I wake up on.

Have to reassure myself, “pew, it was only a dream”

I was consistently going down – hills – roads – grass – indoor walkways at incredible speeds all while trying to avoid the numerous zombies coming after me.

My dreams are always fucking nightmares…

It doesn’t help that the Devil is always after me when I’m awake

I hope I leave the house for something other than food or doctors visits of medical malpractice

Maybe to do something within the community like church or skating

But then I risk the chance of catching Covid or some other disease being spread with malicious intent and purpose

People are always coughing

I literally roll up my car window when I hear a bystander or another rider coughing

My immune system was compromised

I just wanna be home

But this don’t feel like home

It feels like a deathtrap

Just like the unsinkable Titan

TITANic

I take a shit ton of vitamins like immunity support supplements that I have to order from a different country cuz everything is poisoned here

I’m trying to fix my eating habits

And I’m still obsessed with his stories

Which are probably responsible for my nightmares

(I blame war FYI)

My laundry is almost done and I’m craving a shopping dopamine boost

“We have everything we need bb”

“I know but I really want it”

“Okay but this is the last time”

“I’m almost done getting the things I need and at least I’m spending less”

“We get paid soon again”

*sigh*

“Okay but just one more thing…”

I got rid of everything in my life cuz I hated it and told myself we could replace it with things we want/need

I’m in replacement mode but refuse to buy a bed or furniture until I move

The neighbors make me wanna do bad things

The city drives me insane

The entire earth could be Eden but naw, invasive species left and right

“This country was founded on immigration” and they vote with malicious intent and purpose

I may like your stories but I know you voted for Biden and I want to punch you

I’m still homicidal and suicidal but I’m no longer signing waivers

For anything…

Posted on June 21, 2023June 21, 2023 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

Question (and poem)

How does a battery work in the cold?

That tin can submarine was electric

The CEO stated in an interview, the battery was being worked on, so he didn’t want to turn it on, right before he tossed the controller

The battery died? Not the controller battery but the main?

So they would’ve lost buoyancy and sunk to the bottom

They’re not floating in the middle

They’re either top or bottom

I just have a bad feeling about all this

So poem…

The risk doesn’t outweigh the reward
They’re stuck on the sea floor
With nothing to explore
I wonder what they’re living for

They may not be gone yet, but time is nearly out…

It’s either up or down, there’s no middle ground…

This thing spells bad luck, many don’t give a fuck…

More chitter chat cuz squirrel is my spirit animal

Grateful to have a floor to stretch out on

New bed when I move, that’s the deal

Meanwhile, more clothes were bought today.

Just a few…

And… the face serum I’m using from Victoria Health, is actually improving my skin tone, some of the weathered spots aren’t as dark – but I woke up to a nasty comment – in which I immediately blocked user – he stated, “nothing worth moaning about”

First off, I moan about everything

Secondly, the vitamins are saving my life

And my skin has improved

So will likely get something for my hair and body next, as I learned most shampoo and conditioner causes hair loss…

And that missing package cost a pretty penny

The mailman didn’t even put the correct term as it stated it was left with an individual, which meant some motherfucker stole my package

Turns out it was in the lockbox, and I wasn’t given the key

I shook hands with the mailman and all was forgiven

But I lit a fire under the post offices ass and it was a pain in the ass filing out that declaration of honor for the UK – but I was happy to email VH back and say package found!!!

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to…

They have about 9 hours of air remaining

That robot submarine they are sending down, can’t bring them up, only help get them unstuck if they’re stuck

I think it’s safe to say they’re stuck regardless

But some answers will be nice

Have they imploded?

Are they still alive?

What an expensive way to die

Honestly, I’m hoping for the best

I learned another sub was saved with only 12 minutes remaining

But they weren’t on the sea floor

I don’t know if they gave us false hope just to $$$$$ use more resources and bill the government whom the tax payers will pay

This is coming out of our pockets, this rescue/recovery

RIP John Jones

The experts are trained to not become a casualty

They don’t do shit…

But sit on the clock $$$$

Time/energy is $$$

And I ain’t Einstein…

They say don’t eat late at night but it’s when I’m most hungry…

I’m HUNGRY

And I can’t stop thinking about that damn electric submarine – I mean submersible

He was invested in his electric toys

He was in debt

A drowning man will drown another

If a Baby Boomer jumped from a bridge would you follow

Wait, that’s not how it goes

If a boomer led you off a cliff, would you follow…

Wait… I forget how it goes…

5 bucks says that CEO is a boomer…

Posted on June 21, 2023 by poeeternal

Sunk (poetry)

I am absolutely invested emotionally in this lost submarine

So poetry…

All the money in the world won’t save them
And there’s banging from the deep, there’s mayhem
All the prayers for them now, feel like a sunken gem
Who do we fault, who do we condemn?

“It has one button, that’s it”
Says the narcissist

5 are dead or dying
While some are crying
Other’s are denying
Trouble underlying

Remote
Like our love
A breach in hull
Shipwrecked is soul

Crushed is hope
But do you know the scope
An uncertified submarine
Nightmare or dream?

Dark waters turn crimson
But no one will listen
When you hear the cries
The thunder in the skies
The dead have gone missing
They were on a mission
Straight to extinction
Race against affliction

It’s a dead giveaway
You’re going to die today

Sorrows sorrows prayers
The state of affairs
Endless nightmares
Electric chairs
Tell me someone cares

You need to leave but you’re not free to go
The cop combo

Never get on the bad side of a good girl
You will see her form
Like hail in storm
She ain’t lukewarm

I need to focus on the gains
And not the mishaps
Sometimes I think I’ve gone insane
But no one gives a crap

He’s like driving on a floating road
And I ain’t going slow

He’s like riding in a truck without breaks
That’s the speed it takes

Walking in the underground
I’m a ghost and he is the crowd

“Loose lips
Sink ships”

It’s unfortunate
The people who need help
Can’t be helped

It’s always the same color crayon
The same con
The Devil’s spawn
Hanging on my lawn
So they get a yawn
Wish they’d move on
Back to Babylon
Where they’re coming from
Fucking hate them all

I wish I had no father
Why even bother
Poison like still water
I wish I had more honor

Why does the sun
Travel in a straight line
Like your lines
From pen to mind

He hits on his own reflection
He’s gaslighting every direction
He says he loves with affection
He’s in love with his own perfection

Some need more than one chance
To change the circumstance
Don’t want the last dance

Michael Leavitt deserves to crawl into a hole he can’t get out of
As below, so above

I’m just barely existing
Time is ticking
Grave persisting
Death resisting

I don’t want realistic
Fuck sadistic
I’m humanistic
Ain’t optimistic

I must be dead inside
Soul paralyzed
Know not to cry

She’s not me
Still do I slide into her clothes
Like midnight over moon
I am all
And I am none

I start the trends
I rarely follow
I live in pretense
Hard pills to swallow

Til death do us part
We ain’t got the heart
Black and full of rot
We’re both distraught
No grave for plot

I don’t get the physics
Or why he never visits
Says it ain’t my business
Why he acts suspicious

Why are you under my teeth?
Beneath my seams?
Between my dreams?
Light like moonbeams?

Time moves slower in the cold
His heart is indigo
Take me where blue blood will flow
His undertow
The place I grow

He steals the sun and turns it into limelight
His pen will give me frostbite

Collecting comments
Crashing comets
Trashy content
Make me vomit

Demons look like humans
Cheaters look like keepers
Users look like friends
Children look like men
Do not attempt
To understand

I want you well
But not better than me

Some thoughts….

I haven’t been able to sleep and my entire FYP is the lost submarine

I actually hope and pray they are found. It would be nothing short of a miracle. However, they sent two subs down (unmanned presumably) that got crushed at 6000 ish meters

I had a comment get over 1600 likes – and got annoyed with all the notifications – so deleted it

I commented a teenager shouldn’t be on board, many said he was 19

I replied NINETEEN – TEEN

And still – they denied

Had to block – got annoyed

I wish we could mute comment notifications but naw

So delete – it just wouldn’t stop getting likes or comments

I’m an introvert I suppose

Sidenote

Apparently the CEO was in a lot of trouble and he was a good gaslighter and salesman to convince those people to die with him – I don’t think a teenager (yes nineteen is still a teen) should be allowed on an experimental submarine dive 12,500 feet below the sea. It doesn’t matter what fancy title you give them.

That CEO stated over and over that sub was entirely safe, “if this goes… “safe”, if that goes… “safe” but sign this waiver

Look, I signed a waiver getting that motherfucking vaccine and I will never trust another doctor or nurse again – I was asking all the right questions but I was gaslit, gullible, and lied to

And even tho the first vaccine fucked me up, I crawled further in the hole, just like our dear John Jones…

It nearly killed me and I’m at risk for Adult Sudden Death syndrome

I cannot stress this enough, adrenaline spikes to the heart is a no-go

I workout but not to the extreme

I fucking ran through the Dollar 25 tree with 2 gallons of spring water and it was a no no and that was recently

I was in my car going, “it’s okay we’re safe now, I won’t do that again”

So I can run and jog but not with added weights

It’s ridiculous but if you knew how far I’ve crawled – to get better, you might be a tiny bit proud

I’m feeling stronger but can’t do adrenaline spikes at all…

And I’m only 108 pounds

I also have to be careful with extreme temperatures, the hot and cold

I’m like Goldie Locks, need everything just right…

I’m not out of the dark yet and may never be…

The light is so much more powerful than the dark

Also, they stated you wouldn’t be able to hear banging that deep down – something about sound not traveling through the cold

I find that interesting

Isn’t space cold?

I hope God can hear my screams…

I do feel bad about them being stuck at the bottom of the sea

Maybe they didn’t explode

Maybe they made up the banging to keep the search ongoing and the $$$$ flowing

A fast death seemed a little less cruel than suffocating in the dark and cold in a sealed up tuna can

Where you can’t even stand…

Or hyperventilate

With only a sandwich and bottle of water

The one window was plexiglass

A freaking fish tank

You couldn’t pay me a million to get bolted in that tin

I need to get back to my FYP and I feel less guilty about buying clothes now – that’s a much better decision than sinking to the bottom of the sea to explore a graveyard

But I was fucking stupid for getting that 2nd vaccine

I’m learning to forgive myself for a lot of things

I have been dying a slow and painful death

And there are people on my black list

Lucky buying clothes is all I’m planning to do…

LUCKY

Cuz the daydreams are filled with revenge tenfold

I promise when I’m feeling better than dead I will post some of my cute clothing

Mostly dressing comfy for now…

And appreciative I have a floor to sleep on

My sister died of Covid age 45

I don’t want to die…

But everything is actively trying to kill me

The water, the food, the air, it’s all been poisoned

I HATE CHINA

Posted on June 10, 2023June 10, 2023 by poeeternal

Tarmac (poem)

“We want your feedback”
Too bad my feelings you lack
Like roses are black
Take the tarmac

My opinion comes with a price. If you ain’t paying, I ain’t slaying.

Stop leaving reviews for companies to control you

Whatever you like, they will fuck it up

Over society

Posted on June 8, 2023 by poeeternal

Do Not Press Enter (says the Devil) poetry

I didn’t press Enter
I pressed Return
So the Devil will linger
Like he has concern

I’m a recovering passive nihilist
I’m always acting childish
Just ask my stylist
Fired for being biased
We’re not an alliance
Fall dead to silence
But I’m full of violence
Underrated and defiant
Won’t find me quiet

In an alternate universe
I didn’t jump soon enough
Guess the train caught my bluff
My friends had already given up

Stick a needle in his eye
Listen to his fake cry
Pooling from his alibi
Set a spell so he may die

The water smells like chlorine
I bet he thinks I’m boring
I guess I’ve lost count scoring
The hate is over pouring

The devil loves my bitterness
Right now I am rigorous
It makes not a difference
Heading for the wilderness

We’re the worst crash
That never happened
Like lightning flash
But we’re still laughing?

The feeling of imminent death
Took the wrong step
Made a wrong left
Death is terrifying
He knows I ain’t lying

Pretty toes
Because the highs are lows
And colored rose
I’ve changed tempos
Searching the afterglow

God loves a good joke

And the Devil being mad

*sigh* despite having video downloads off, found my best viral TikTok video posted by another on YouTube (he did credit me – but where’s my $$$ for it going viral on YT) (fuck you)

Society is a scam.

Poem inspired by a scammer scamming a scammer

Why does it aggravate me so much when people copy me? Because I’m Gen X? And we’re the only generation who are individuals? Yes? No? Maybe?

Please return

Posted on June 3, 2023 by poeeternal · 8 Comments

Grandiose (poem)

He takes my ideas
And turns them into grandiose amusement thrills
He steals
The yellow daffodils
He’s got too many skills
Landslides and foothills
Rotting thrones
Where he fucking kills

I don’t know what you are. But I definitely know you are the devil.

More poetry incoming if I don’t fucking dieeeee from this battle

108 pounds of solid fucking fury

Good thing I haven’t boycotted my favorite boutique yet and got my nails painted instead

God save me

Posted on May 14, 2023May 14, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Invalid Date

Nitrogen narcosis
Dead roses
Lost hope like Moses
Wandering desert hopeless
Some nights we’re frozen
Like unfocused locust
We’re losing focus
Gave God diagnosis
Humanity atrocious
I guess this is us?
The depths that we cross?
Tell God all is lost?

Maybe you can access my domain and maybe you can’t.

Listen, I am the Great Anomaly. But maybe not the only.

244.

I’ve reached out to the Happiness engineers – but I’m never really happy (it’s likely also their fault why I never set up the contact page and things because I get stuck on a step and all hell breaks loose)

I’m drinking ginger currently – it’s spicy

All my clothing from Dolls Kill is fitting – and I’m feeling super cute in said clothes –

My OF ID is poeeternal77 I believe

I deleted my TikTok again – maybe for a day, maybe an hour, maybe a month

Gotta keep em guessing

I don’t pay attention to the hits incoming

I just hit delete notification and uninstall

I hope TikTok gets banned

And Instagram

And PayPal sold your identity out TWICE and then had the audacity to list you as my first contact

We’ve never communicated there

It was an anonymous thang

And like X amount of years later – first contact

I almost paid you back

But I deleted my account instead because I’m fucking psycho

And got tired of the outting and the spam emails

And then the cashapp was mutiliated – not long before Bob was

I don’t know how to spell the word and there is no other suggestion

MUTILATED mutilated

Oh well now I got it

Whatever

Fuck it

“Honey, I’m trying to spell something I know I can spell but can’t”

My mother once said watching TV with the subtitles on “is annoying” (which I need) (it’s not about the volume either)

So I no longer own a TV

My therapist says I’m polarized but the two weren’t related

Just an observation – she’s a cunt

(The Boomer mom)

My last words to her were a text message on Valentine’s circa 2017 (maybe) stating I hope she has a painful death and whatever it is couldn’t be near the pain and suffering she has caused me

And I blocked her and never looked back

Then last year my sister died

And I didn’t go say byeeee to her in the hospital

The Boomer mom will be rolling in her grave – if she ever dies

I wonder often these days should I contact the blood folks

My real father wants to know “if I’m happy”

His sister got her head bit off for reaching out to me

I ghosted my father when I was ten

People say you can’t hate your parents – so then I researched and realized that you could – not only hate your parents – but an entire generation

The Boomers

Who hold most of House

Once people die, there’s literally zero reason to hold onto a grudge

I can’t fix my dead sister and she was a psychopath so death was the only relief

“I think I might drop Cain / like Cain dropped Abel”

Because he was a fucking psychopath

She needed an exorcism and even that might not have saved her

It’s not my job to save you

You gotta save yourself down here

Stop being an asshole

I was gonna drop more poetry but I don’t have anything to type from

The phone can’t even type the letters I press

I got a hacker from India inside my phone

My modem was destroyed

I’m not hitting backspace for letters to disappear

I hate autofill – it pops up but changes to a different word

I spend more time correcting than I do writing

I don’t care if I misspell anymore!

It’s the algo, not me!

More poetry coming soon

P.S. these immigrants don’t care about you. They have invaded our borders and way of life. Stay protected! Your life matters! They are attacking females especially and doing so unprovoked! It’s seems to nearly always be a black person attacking. Black lives matter. White lives don’t. Check the CENSUS, it’s not how they are reporting. And not gossip sites but research shows many Chinese Americans and Mexican’s identify as “the new white”.

CONCERNING

Just gonna erase history huh

Wipe us out, take over

The Great Race war is real

I’m brown and white and not dissing my own race to put up another race – slavery started in Africa and is still going on in Africa and not one white person owns a slave – but black people do

White slavery exists and started with a black person owning a white woman and they condition and break us all!!! They hate us!!!!!

I do not hate white people and I’m tired of the slander against us

No one in my bloodline ever owned a slave

Take money from me for it and there will be consequence

Byeee

Posted on May 11, 2023 by poeeternal

The domain is live

My domain is live again and I’m ad free for the next 3 year as I bit and got the 3 year plan!

I may go back to writing on a typewriter

Photography the old time consuming way

I did create an OF – but I’m living rogue with 95% of my belongings gone (I’m sleeping on the floor)

I don’t need your money but may keep my rated r bits behind a paywall

Anyhoo, the dot com is active again

www.poeeternal.com

And since I’m still not washing my face per official guidelines, I’m dry as fuck

My bathwater smells like chlorine

My nails aren’t painted, I need a haircut

I’m not ready for a husband yet but am working hard with self and God to get things right

And the Devil wanna take away my smile

But the neighbors are being somewhat nicer to me now that I’m dressing in clothes that mostly fit (extra small is big and I’m not quite xxs and trying to actually put on weight) but was wearing medium and large while extra small

(I’m fighting a cancer inside me but my labs are fine)

MY LABS ARE FINE

Healthcare equals medical malpractice but we sign forms so they can hurt you with malicious intent and purpose

I’m looking to upgrade my very old but loved rebounder

Only because it squeaks and someone on TikTok complained

So I stopped sharing

And am secretly ~~rooting for a ban~~ hoping for a revolution

My TV is sold

No more PS4

My devices are outdated after 2 1/2 years

iPhone 12 would only be good another 2 to 3 years

News has come out that 12 and 13 may be obsolete with the new 15

I’m not paying them prices

I don’t eat with my phone

Or shit

The voicemail is probably full with malicious intent and purpose

I can post from the library but they would steal my login and data

Probably give them access to my browsing history from the last ten years

It is off

The Devil tried to murder me

I’m still here

I got some sort of superpower and you don’t know what that does to a person

There are two ways I could go

But you know me, always taking the off path

Sometimes we find things more valuable than gold, sometimes we find John Jones

He ain’t resting in peace

“I want out”

Final wish

So these Boomers sealed him in

His wife worried he was sealed in alive

“There are things that happened down there that will never be disclosed”

Oh yeah?

Posted on May 6, 2023 by poeeternal

Rags to Riches

From riches to rags
From rags to riches
It must be such a drag
Doing nothing that he wishes

And I’m raising the red flags
Pulling monsters from the ditches
Reminding God of broken airbags
The Great Anomaly comes with glitches

I found the pot at the end of the rainbow

But I’m still dying

More cute clothes arriving

And organic cotton joggers n tees cuz t3 sarah mode

Gotta be comfys and calm and collect

Revenge is served coldly with a smile

I was double cursed

But Edgar (my daddy) already died naked on the street (been there, done that)

I know why Cleo died

I’ve traveled far through time

I’m not sinking with the Titanic again

I fear those waters for a reason

I know things to happen before they do

Major events

Little events

Been questioning authority from in womb / day 1

Depressed?

You’re not living how I God intended

The Great Judgment has arrived

Get right with me God

I want so many bird houses on my property that I forget where they are

Bring the pressure washer when you visit

I’m sure everything will need a clean

Bring pieeeeee (not poisoned)

(Anything bought is poison)

(Even the expensive vegan things)

(Bring all the ingredients for me to make a pie instead)

“I wanted to bring you a pie but they were all poisoned”

I know you’ve never had a real biscuit before

My memaw taught me to make them

Said, “the only way to a man’s heart is through his belly”

Or was it stomach?

You tiss it when u big enuff cuz you ain’t big enuff yet

She had 5 acres with a 3 bedroom trailer

I ain’t asking for much

She had 12 kids with her husband

I ain’t been married yet

The Boomers stole everything from me

And now BLM have the audacity to ask me why I move where there are black people?

Bitch for real?

I will fucking hang you on a tree

Without remorse

*stay humbled*

I’m only a messenger

ANGEL

When you want to feed pretty bird but also skin a head…

Posted on May 2, 2023 by poeeternal

OnlyFans pt 3

3rd times a charm?

I’m likely starting the process soon to create a page

I need a hideout

I haven’t moved yet so there isn’t anything fancy to look at

I don’t need your money

I just need to start over everywhere

Edgar died naked for a reason, he was suffocating

You ever seen that movie with what’s-his-face and he was Buried Alive

That’s what TikTok feels like

And me giving him all the wrong clues that he winds up at a different grave

I don’t wanna wind up so stuck he can’t reach me

I’ve examined many ways to die and John Jones still ranks as WORSE

I’m obsessed with ways people die

I’m seeing patterns too

There’s always a “second” involved

“He went back in for a swim”

“They went down for another dive”

“Decided for a harder section after completing an easy one”

“Two rides said no”

“He stayed for a second day”

“He changed his plans”

“They went back in”

Poor Jacob and the Whirlpool, he went back in, back down again, a wee bit further

But the drain was draining and getting stronger (like a bathroom tub draining)

I counted several warnings by Mr. Death himself

I get called ominous for delivering love poems via internets while dying – (it happened one time chill) (humiliation favorite overkill)

But Jacob wasn’t ominous for swimming in a black hole?

His friend edged him on

“I don’t know what else I can do aside from die”

*shrugs*

*hops back in*

*goes deeper*

They found him at the other end of the drain

Oh… and then that guy that went down the deepest part of the ocean, the Trench

Not even fully qualified

I had no idea that the ocean could “push you down” at “incredible speeds”

I wouldn’t have stopped falling, I would have just kept going huh…

Newsflash: we can’t leave earth

We’re grounded to earth

Charged

The sun is electrical

Positive / negative charge

We’re static electricity buzzing

Hair standing on head (it needs the blm lube for “all hair types” that the blm hog in the blm section)

My page will probably be free or ridiculously cheap membership to keep away the kidnappers

I mean, I wanna post some nudes

I’m still working out while dying and 111 pounds despite everything

And now I wanna quit all meat but chicken

I like eggs and sometimes I wanna eat a chicken

I know, but the heart likes beef and chicken a lot

For ethical and moral reasons try to leave most creatures alone

Someone harassed me and I got penalized for it

Makes absolute total sense

“Money won’t buy happiness” it’s true but I’ll be a whole less stressed out in the country where no one can find me

“Do not enter property without secret code or homemade pie”

Him: “I’ve never eaten a homemade biscuit before”

Memaw: “the way to a man’s heart is through his belly”

Me: “you need a proper biscuit with real maple syrup”

I myself haven’t had one since the 1800s but once I get moved from this dumpster

And I got another rent increase incoming

The appliances are also from the 1700s and my electric company knows my shit ain’t updated and I’m being penalized

“This is a man’s world”

Well I don’t want any part in it

Can you come help til the garden tho?

I gotta get a fence up

Coms

Some sort of place to shit

I need land and a realtor I can trust!

I’m injured!

“I think I’m dumb” but not dumb enough to get married to the banks

Can’t have more than 9k on you or the cops will seize it even with proof it’s yours

The government will come steal your gold too

They didn’t cash their silver coin bonds “backed by the good faith of the Chinese government”

“Made in China”

Who owns the majority of bonds

But we needn’t worry

Every new label, every new change, Big China buying America

I got to go

Too far down the rabbit hole

Weed gone

(Half jar remaining and low thc compared to vape pens)

(Been out for days)

(Haven’t renewed card)

(Panicky)

Need some TLC on OF after the TikTok beating

I’d like to post workout videos and peach shots and nudes

Sue me

(Give me the dopamine boost as God intended, thank you)

(Otherwise, you know the fate of Poe?)

(And the ominous is in the blood)

(I might be Cleopatra)

I might be all things

All or none

I was nestled with God in the Great Void

“This is where you find some quiet, huh”

Gonna be fighting for my life until the end (it was stolen)

(Cry so much)

I’m facing future days of not bleeding between my legs and it feels like the end of everything I ever dreamed of

The women who got rid of their ability to have children and “love it” – nihilists

But you don’t look at me the way Squirrel does

I don’t know anything about life at all

Man has failed his part with me (thus far)

It’s like I’m being punished for his sins

But God has answered many prayers in one sweep

I need to find my way

To 1-5 acres

Once I have land, I’ll worry about other thangs

Land = ark

And I have seeds to plant!

I want trees growing until 1000 years of age!

Get off my land!

Unless you got pie?

Or a nut tree to plant

Fruit?

You brought me a chicken! Not to eat! *heart eyes*

Coyote gets fed chicken eggs too! He ain’t getting shot!

Give him a dog house far off!

Figure it out!

I need a pond!

Byeee

If I get enough followers – I can go live so will probably do the free thing and just ppv certain booty post ridiculously cheap?

But livestream workouts and walkabouts

Park adventures

Maybe land buying

“I’m dumb and boring”

But guys are hollering for my attention at my apt complex now that I’m dressing cute and less bum

He wanted me to know Squirrel crawled on him

Ok fool

But do you feed his entire family pistachios and sunflower seeds and cashews and all the top seeds and nuts

Are you gonna build squirrel a paradise?

They swing from the trees like monkeys!!!

Got another neighbor from NZ who don’t have squirrels at all

New Z doesn’t have squirrels I’m told

I’m like “none at all!?!”

No flying squirrels huh

Not moving there…

*crosses New Zealand off the potential move list*

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Montana? Utah? Nothing grows in Maine?

I don’t have an address in hell or online anymore

*purgatory

I scored this and I hope it fits. I’ve started ordering xs since small is big on me. Tiny petite thang

It’s 100% cotton too!!! I ordered a small!

They still are running a flash sale entire store!

My phone is broken and outdated

I may go back to regular photography

With a real camera

I hate WP

I miss OF

The short set: https://www.dollskill.com/products/tea-and-secrets-shorts-set

Tea & Secrets

I want that to be in my page name lol

Posted on April 24, 2023April 24, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

10 things I hate about you

You live on a flat plane on a flat disc
You act like you are worthless
You live without questioning risk
You won’t give me an inch

You run with a circus
Like hell you will surface
Bringing light to purpose
Curled up like a serpent

For this I’m certain
Or simply hoarding
What you’re averting
I know you’re lurking!

“The VA have made a decision on my behalf.”

Should I get it tattooed on me? Lucky 13?

I need a baptism in a hot spring first (one I don’t accidentally boil in)

I swear once I wash my face, I will look fresher.

Florida has brain eating amoebas and kids and adults are getting wiped out, playing in the splash parks and doing sinus washes and reports from politicians in the press say drinking tap water is just fine, just don’t “wash your face with tap water” “in the shower or the sink” and I thought the splash parks and baths was my last safe haven (the devil be finding me everywhere)

(That’s why Jesus was always with him)

(Restraining orders don’t work)

(He’s obsessed with me)

And I have Savior complex potentially (see poem)

Demons will gaslight you and say “God isn’t real” cuz they are expert faith destroyers

But God made me an explorer…

“Only 13%”

Well, I do always seem to wiggle myself in the tightest places and I’m afraid of tiny dark holes

Riddle me this

I was pushed off a 50 foot bridge at 15 during sunset weighing some 110 pounds – at one point during the fall I forgot what was happening – I sank deep and fast – how far?

How far down was the initial plunge? Cuz I was dropping fast and thought “wonder how long I’ll keep falling” “maybe better go up for air” and started to kick my legs (I felt a shift) and was watching the tiny bit of light thinking “it’s so far” “I’m not going to make it”

And there was no preparing to take a breath before I was pushed

There was no “breathing” during the fall

Must have fell 10 or 15 seconds? What about in water? Another fucking 5 or 10?

Of falling – not ascend

That took another X amount of time to surface

So I dunno how I survived

I swam the Tennessee/ Mississippi more than once?

Without a float?

“I think I can make it”

I swam in a quarry!?!?

I don’t know if I’m alive?

In 2018, I was inside a lightning storm strike – 80 miles an hour – all windows down – arm out – a band of heat light touched me

How am I alive and the car!?!?

I looked in all my mirrors – the entire Jeep lit up all over

It was thousands of arms of lightning

Was it 2018?

What am I?

Why is everything electrical?

The sun is not 93 million miles away and I knew this at age 5

“It’s right there”

“How do we know”

“You shone a light on a wall”

“Why did we change time”

“Who is in charge of what is being taught at school”

“You can’t make me believe that”

“Well then give me a C”

“I will see myself to the Principal office”

*argues with the professors about globalism and inflation*

*barely passes math with a tutor*

*cries*

In hindsight, I know things before they happen

My first and only time at a dog race, I predicted which dog would win, but no one would place a bet on him, or let me, and I didn’t want to be there

Afterwords they wanted my opinion but I wasn’t interested in tapping into my psyche

I knew the space shuttle was going to blow right before it blew

“They’re going after Soldiers who want 100 in ptsd”

Me: “oh yeah”

“I’d like to see them try”

*panics for several months*

*yells at self for crawling into hole*

“We were fine living in the slums”

“It’s better than being homeless”

“We were gutted”

“What the fuck did we do to get here”

*gifts can come with curses*

*gets rid of 95% of everything I own*

And you can keep the jewelry, it’s fake

It really wasn’t the thought that mattered anymore

If the thought mattered, it would be in alignment with my values

*yells at some stranger on the road acting like God* I’m drifting buddy!?!?

*sobs*

Because it’s all I ever do is cry (like in the movie – God literally tells him I’ll be depressed if he ghosts me)

So I’m crying in the streets broad-day and some dude with a sign is telling me “I’m gonna die of a good time down here”

But I don’t know how to grow a plant or be in the same room as a person

And they did not lock me up (thank God)

(Can I file for state and double dip? Yes I can)

(Can I still work and make $$$$) (probably but I’ve not called and confirmed)

(Do I want to be on zoom calls or looking at a monitor all day or talking to people or solving problems or doing maths)

Fuck you

I have thought about other jobs like selling popcorn but everyone be coughing

Me: “why the fuck did you cough in my direction bro”

“Them fighting sounds”

“Why you standing so effin close to me”

Like bros be filming my ass while I’m grocery shopping or getting my ride fixed

I’m gonna kick someone’s fucking phone accidentally ~~and get gutted like Bob~~

I’m not getting gutted like Bob

I’m going weapon shopping

Trinity mode

I’m hearing all of France is protesting BR

I want to sleep on a bed of weapons

Safety first

Did you know I’m good at using weapons and thangs?

I got the good Army training!!!!

Circa 2001 🙂

I actually married my country on valentines day 🙂

I swore to defend this country on my heart and honor 🙂

I stupidly gave them my dna 🙂

They took hair, signatures, blood

What are they doing to me?

Why do I feel two places at once?

Why do I know things?

Why do I have to get your permission about how I interpret your art?

Posted on March 24, 2023 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

Singularity

It’s like we’re moving stationary
Still caught up in the past
The topping on the cherry?
Humanity is coming in last

Hi. My name is Delia. I follow/unfollow blogs. Sometimes I’m afraid to follow at all (even tho I want to). My comments are usually rude. I’m in therapy. K, thanx bye.

Posted on March 21, 2023 by poeeternal · 5 Comments

Grief changes you

Grief changes you
Strings stay connected
But you find yourself in a new world
Strange unfamiliar settings
The navigation controls glitching
Life will never be the same

This place is cursed
From twilight to dusk
My sins interspersed
The golden hour
Mixed with rust
The dead
Blood and dust
We’re grounds for divorce
His thirst for lust
We speak in morse
Secret code of sin
And it’s getting worse
He’s first of course
For my hatred to enforce
Man’s overrule
His math and wicked verse

Would you hold my wrinkles, the way you hold the cold?
Just like darkness, you both make me old.

My name is on the lease
But this isn’t home
I blocked your identity
But you will never call

I don’t know what my purpose is. Becoming homeless? Jumping from a bridge?

Giving up on all humanity doesn’t quite feel right.

I wanna work – at least – a tiny bit – but there are roadblocks yet to overcome. Patience is something I’m being forced to learn. I guess I need to check out some library books on patience.

I’m having a hard time quitting legal weed. I never had an addiction to cannabis before. I’m not paying the state to renew my card, or the doctor. That’s one way to force me to quit. I researched. It’s extremely hard and most men get a ton of help to quit. I’ve got faith and prayer and hardly any will (to live) to quit.

I’m tired of the brain fog, the shit don’t work.

I’d rather bury the money I’m wasting on medicinal.

But things are always flooding here and I don’t have my own yard.

Apparently buying a home is not a good time, I’ve also researched.

And good luck finding a plot of land that isn’t surrounded by big farming corporations. YUCK.

America was sold out.

Some grandmother caught her 3 year old grandson watching porn and he knew how to access it

The government makes money off porn

Apparently if you’re a criminal or have a hard time getting a job, the government will give your employer a 5k bond for hiring you. FUCK YOU

Society is a scam

I busted my ass through college – to be met with hiring freezes, furloughs, inflation, and a pandemic with a snake oil cure that wiped out half the workforce – leaving the best jobs to only the very brightest – the immigrants – and the shitty jobs for the rest.

It’s also 60% more expensive to live life solo. Yay!

Porn should be banned from the internet. Period. You fucked it up and should have kept it behind closed doors and black curtains.

Some husband cheating on his wife with his girlfriend recently murdered her – and got 4 years. Men are getting punished less and less for crimes against women.

Meanwhile a wife got 17 years for killing her husband in defense – after begging the government for help.

The Great Replacement theory is real

White slavery

Sexual slavery

It’s sick what my parents did to me and my now dead sister (she was 45) (go mom and ~~dad~~ The One Who Shall Not Be Named)

Because of law Section 230 – violence against women and children on porn sites uploaded go unpunished!!!!!

They make money from it and just remove it when asked! No biggie!!!!

Sick society!

I hated porn in the 90s when it was mostly nude magazines and strip clubs!!!!! They weren’t selling anal sex toys in front of the children at the Mall or Walmart!

Y’all are sick!!!!!!!!!!

I’m very depressed among other things

The poets made WordPress what it was – and now they don’t need us – unless to buy a product.

These companies get the government involved and it loses any magic it had.

Advertising is conditioning and should be illegal.

I’m tired of complaining about this manmade world

They’re all nihilist

95% of them

They’d rather believe a math formula predicting a black hole that shouldn’t be there – is more magical – than life growing itself in the womb.

Pissed off they can’t do it themselves

Don’t want women feeling happy

They think AI is better than women

They think women haven’t contributed to society and quite frankly – they can keep their electricity. At the price, I don’t want it.

I never wanted any of this

We’re born into an unfair system

Where boys get away with murder and get paid more than us (and then the government helps them get jobs with bonds)

https://bonds4jobs.com/

Those who play by the rules are the mark

If you’re ever in doubt, it’s you…

Narcissism is a plague and easily spread by porn, Christian propaganda, and over nurturing

Test tube babies should be illegal

Dogs – cats – cute but eating up natural livestock and they were made in a lab

Apparently water buffalo are on the extinction list yet I just bought an ear from the ~~Dollar Tree~~ $1.25 Tree)

I haven’t murdered the dog with a “good day” yet

He likely suffer til the end

Today I made him an egg sandwich

Yesterday he had a toasted turkey dog

He has dog food and treats too

He wants his food, my food, plus his food

I fed squirrel yesterday

Hung out for half an hour sundown feeding her/him

The guy who murdered his 8 month old pregnant wife – dumped her from his boat, then went and turned the baby room into storage, sold the wife’s car, and tried to sell the house – he was removed from death row – gets an hour of sunshine per day, 3 meals a day – for life.

She washed ashore

He had searched on his phone “ocean tides” (or waves)

He was probably an undercover gay

They expect us to “mommy them”

Men are monsters. Guaranteed.

If they were really genius, they’d know how to make women happy and stop killing everything.

One person asked what women would do with men safely gone for 24 hours.

Most of them said walk without fear.

WALK

93% of all homicide committed against women are by men.

Since 1970 68% of all life has gone extinct.

Nihilist.

Under the gaze of secular science

(They think they’re geniuses)

They were conditioned to love prostitution and porn as children

The divorce rate is over 85%

They hate us

Math is stupid

I don’t want electricity

(Not at the expense of every woman’s mental health)

1 in 3 women experience assault from man (and it’s never just one man or experience)

1 in 5 men have an STD

They can give you cancer with their dick

Their cum can literally kill you

And you wanna legalize prostitution and already have in Nevada and online

Gonna spread them parasites everywhere

They don’t even test both parties in prostitution (John’s aren’t tested)

Massage parlors have prostitutes

I’m sick of fighting a war I can’t win

I once liked smoking weed and now I don’t and can’t quit (am actively trying)

Will definitely be experiencing mood swings, sweating, insomnia, for a good two weeks minimum (I’ve been researching)

Men get an entire tribe to help them quit

It seems those who were born into class are the only ones fairing well (mostly)

There’s like 30% single never married folk educated but left behind

But the crims get government bonds for their employers to hire them

They kill women and get ahead

I’m kinda pissed

I’d like to see less people deleting their blogs

Let me know where the new blogging community is going

WordPress pushed their product onto the academic platform – and students learn to blog through education (I wasn’t even allowed a phone in school or the military on job)

I wasn’t allowed a life growing up and I’m not allowed one now thanks to gentrification and narcissism

I’m exhausted

I know you’re struggling

To find your humanity

You’re a drowning man taking me down

You didn’t want to be a worker bee

Getting kicked out during winter while the Queen stays in the hive – that you likely made her

You mutilated her bond

She called crying

Now you can murder her by accident and get 4 years

And you have the audacity to ask me, “what’s the matter honey, you depressed” and then tell the person you’re speaking with via phone that I’m a “manhater”

Awe boo

I wanna cut yer dick off

You better start behaving on the road…

And please let God know I just want a tiny acre of land – to grow these seeds I’m hoarding

And please tell God I’d like to be less suicidal when I fuck things up

Also, despite all the very bad graphs and divorce rates, I still wanna husband.

A partnership.

I wanna do all the things with him.

Please get over your lifelong prostitute addiction.

I don’t know how to communicate with you over a cellphone, I come from a time before computers.

When you randomly send me dick picks online or phone, you disrespect yourself and my love for you

You never ask, you just do. I get so angry boo

I’m old fashioned and want to be surprised! In the real world!

And I want to date my husband – it’s biology and how she connects to him

It’s not about gifts, it’s about protection and nurturing

When dating for a minimum of three months no sex, it bonds and creates lifelong bongs. She’s able to imprint on him.

When I asked him would he want to date me when I’m better he replied, “I’m not competing”.

Which isn’t at all what I meant.

I never bonded or imprinted with any man at this point, and now I feel a lost cause.

A lost soul.

They want us to lose our faith.

I don’t believe in his God, if that helps anything.

Suicide is the 7th leading cause of death and I’ve been trying to self-terminate since in womb.

By kindergarten, I got in trouble on the playground for tying a piece of string around my neck

They banned me from people or going outdoors for two weeks

But the prisoners get an hour of sun a day you see…

There are more horror stories and scars on my body – proving I’m a coward

I’m more sad the lotion in the bottle gave me sunspots – some aren’t natural now

I’m tired of crying

Or looking in the mirror

I have to go now because tears

Fuck you

I’ve been trying so hard to be good and you getting bonds for being bad

Fuck you

(I can’t work yet but Bookmarked the page)

1. Hire me please. A. I have Veteran preference. B. I come with official referrals. C. You’ll get a 5k bond for hiring me. D. I smile but am disabled so may forget to cross the T or dot the I.

Them: you’re hired

Seriously tho, I’m overqualified for these Taco Bell jobs, but have been out of the market for medical reasons. I’m hoping that maybe one day I can find a job to fit my disability and I’ll be using the career source and library to help fix me up an updated resume – I’d love to jump the hiring lines with “I come with a 5k bond”

I still have hope for my future to not be homeless

I want plan B to not be a gun…

I’d also like to plan for my 50th (instead of dying at age 45 like my sister, I was nearly there)

I’m 44 today… 🙂

I mean currently (my birthday isn’t until August)

If you base it on THIS calendar

This whole timeline is off

In 2018, a big electrical storm hit New Smyrna Beach (give or two a year), in which I drove directly into it, all four windows down, elbow and arm outstretched, 80 miles an hour, the whole jeep lit up, some hot shit touched me, I screamed “fuck” and thought my life was over, while looking in my rearview and arm windows, seeing tons of bands of lightning outstretched on the pavement, I jumped into this timeline here

My arm burned for days and I blogged about not having any iodine

Kinda got touched by God

I smelled the rain prior and knew a storm was coming but opted to have my windows down

There was no rain, only lightning, the thunder was so loud

I got pushed off a 50 foot bridge once, I’m not sure how I’m even alive

I felt more human feeding that squirrel than I have in some time

I could feel my heart repairing

Somehow, feeding Squirrel connects me to my purpose

The way Squirrel looks at me

Gonna toss him/her some pistachio soon

Yesterday, pumpkin/sunflower/peanut treats.

The way he looked at me

I need husband

He will need to “date me” (not compete) in order to make the mechanics and functions of a man/woman work (AKA imprinting)

(I’m probably some sort of organic AI)

(Angel)

(Not the artificial fake shit)

They want you to believe computers have feelings so you feel less guilt when you fall in love with a robot and not a human)

Awe what’s the matter boo, lost yer soul?

Posted on March 1, 2023 by poeeternal

Directed (poetry)

A purchase has been scheduled / directed by the devil / but nothing I can’t handle

The United States / a nation of immigrants / minus the Native’s they enslaved to get it

Dear Father
Please respond
It’s a matter of death
I’m overcome

But I’ll push the latter
While falling off the ladder
Which one will matter
I’m growing madder

From seconds to 40k / I want my own driveway

Seed collection

I’m saving more than copper and silver, fuck you.

Tell God I’d like some place far from here to grow them.

This is hell. I wanna plant these babies somewhere else.

Even tho, they could be grown in the windowsill.

This.Is.Hell.

Help.

I hate how expensive it is to do anything. I hate the boomers.

There are things I don’t hate.

Seeds. Sunshine. Shade. Spring water. Nuts. Squirrel. Pretty bird. Crow.

I once liked having a job too. I’m considering remote work.

I’ve lost my mind but still have a Bachelor degree. Whatever that means.

I hope remote work.

Otherwise engaging at a sit down job at Aldi sounds potential.

“You plan on tossing him on the grill”

“Yum”

I’m sick of chasing my tail inside the deathcare health system

I ain’t better yet

But I’m sick of sitting around waiting to die

Working the movie ticket booth sounds ideal – weekends and weird hours no one wants.

Also me: I can’t fucking breathe

But I got my 20 minute rebound session in – getting fit with gravity

The rent is paid. They are dicking me around about my carpet “more time”

M’kay but calling the Health Department soon and whoever else I gotta…

I gotta download another app to do anything huh

Jetpack? A filter ontop a filter ontop a filter

Please no more

I don’t want to grow my seeds here

I don’t want to live here

I don’t want to die here

I’m sick of being sick

All woe ~~is me~~

But I had a multigrain bagel with cream cheese and avocado for brunch (groceries from home) with hot chocolate and some sort of milk with probiotics but no lactose and yum

I am trying to get fat

109 pounds currently

(Steel abs, peachy peach)

(Looking zombie in the face)

(Need him)

Land near Yellowstone is cheap (pro)

But it’s near a volcano (con)

Flip a coin?

I do like my investor inbox, FYI

I want my own business cleaning shit no one else wants to do

“Phew that was rough but we got 3 bags done”

“High five”

Like I wanna help people who are nearly dead and dying – not die

I need purpose

Which isn’t working 3 jobs to pay the electric rent insurance

There’s verifiable proof immigration makes the rental and housing market increase

I’m not getting anything out of being alive

When every dime goes to keeping afloat

Posted on February 13, 2023 by poeeternal

The use of WordPress in higher education

So – were you aware – that universities are on WordPress and require students to use WordPress to post and respond to other students post – and receive GRADED reports

Cuz that wasn’t in the Privacy policy or any of the FAQ or payment policies

I’m not just paying to reach my tribe – they are flooding the network however they can – so we can chase our tails – meanwhile the younger generations get fed with a platinum spoon – this society

We’re paying in the upwards of $300 -$600 to maintain our blogs/ websites every three years – to reach students and faculty! (Or around $150 annually)

F- U – C – K YOU

Here’s an example in use: https://intothewildbyjohnkrakauerthestoryofchrismccandles.wordpress.com/

https://wpengine.com/resources/wordpress-for-education/

https://www.eridesignstudio.com/insights/70-universities-using-wordpress/

https://wptavern.com/new-report-estimates-wordpress-market-share-of-us-higher-education-institution-websites-at-40-8

Just thought you should know before you bust out the checkbook to keep growing an audience ~~you like to run away~~

They also hire hackers to blow up the place to sell you “site security”

I can put two and two together

Posted on January 18, 2023 by poeeternal

sigh (journal log)

I went and got some medicinal

After several days of cold cutting

And zero sleepz in the nightz

I caved

Got 1 vape the size of Texas, a 10 pack of indica blueberry edibles, and 7g worth of “premium ground”

Back home – hit the pen twice – feel the happies

I arrived “can you check my pen, I don’t know if it’s charging/working or in my head”

Gave myself 3 options tho

1. Cold cut quit (aggressive)

2. Not renew my state license in April – ween myself – slow quit

3. Not quit – pay the ridiculous fees – to maintain

4. Vote for recreational (nope, you’ll have to cut my dick off before I ever get out again and vote)

Look where voting for medicinal got me: an addiction

Prior to the government getting involved, weed never gave me no kind of addiction

Unless you count the feel goods

I’m literally more motivated on it

Suddenly, with my new flock of bird neighbors – and the medicinal two toke hit after several days none, I feel like I could clean up the slums

There’s a Gold’s Gym down the road – could like join

I’ll have to disassociate from dudes watching me

I think the guy at the shop is into me

Not sure how I wound up with six bucks back but took my buck and he was like “you got another five”

I only took X amount of cash in to avoid overspending

But between the 50% off deals + another military discount + more cash back than I had calculated, I’m square

Paid like 40 bucks or something

Also, the blueberry eddies are 10mg pieces, so I’ll be eating one with my dinner / evening bath

Not smoking to disassociate, just to function :p

I’m at a crossroads in my life

I decided to throw everything overboard!

I may jump!

Not to die!

To jump ship!

It’s terribly hard being autistic and suicidal: “how yah doing today”

“I ain’t looking for a bridge to leap, and the sun is out!”

Politically probably not correct but honest to the core

The other customer was listening to me order and him give me all kinds of recommendations lol

“I haven’t slept in 3 days and sometimes I just need a sativa”

I think he pretty much ordered everything – I went in as a walk-in

But he seems keen to service me

And she was like “sorry for listening” lol

But I was trying to hurry cuz others arrived and I even offered to get out of line – anyhoo – he listened to what I needed – his suggestions were good – including where I could buy a decent pipe to smoke the flower, cuz the shop I went to sold me a non working glass pipe – and I love wasting my money

Right now I got rice papers from the medicinal shop – and those were tricky to learn – but they are slow burning – and aren’t as strong (very smooth paper but probably poisoned)

Like I registered to vote for recreational a couple months back – but that was before my meltdown

I’m having a midlife crisis

Right now I’m sitting on clean linen and thinking I might could manage this dump a bit longer – if it means land for me in the future

If I were to renew, I’d want fresh paint and carpet.

I mean, the apartment is nearly empty and I’d pay them an extra $200 to lay some fresh paint

(The carpet would need to be a free replacement as part of the renewal agreement – especially as long as I’ve been here – and the COVID pandemic)

This isn’t a good time to be homeless

People aren’t returning emails or phone calls about places I wanna live

And “Astoria” was a big mistake

I don’t want anywhere near this county or HollyWood

I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m going to do

I have a very busy day doing real world stuff

I hate real world and would rather disassociate

Because people are involved

And I have to be civil

I identify as Angelic and this is spiritual warfare

I’m like fight mode 24/7

The birds moved near me

It’s changing me

I don’t disassociate making content and I wanna get in the headspace to get back at it

I’ve been self-loathing

But also working out – I wanna get the peach in shape

The boobs need a little weight

Half my kitchen was donated or trashed

Some is packed – it might get trashed too

Pantry is empty

Everything is on the table remaining

The lease is up in April

There’s been no invite to renew yet nor have I given any 60 day warning

Don’t know what month to month rent would cost (like if I needed an extra 2 or 3 months to find my new home) (and stay without a 12 month lease) (if they still do that the costs go up)

I don’t want to be homeless dying

My bathtub is good enough

As far as rebuilding my financial wealth – I’m working on it

The little cushion I have, doesn’t go far in a 40% inflated economy – realistically – and per research

If I could get to a gym – and get outside these walls

I’m just re-inventing myself – even if to start fresh

I need a sterilized and stable foundation

I prayed to God “I need to be closer to Pretty Bird” and he sent me a flock

Swear to fuck

Clean bed sheets tonight

Weed

I have to be careful with this new age shit, it can trigger my ptsd and suicidal ideation

Sometimes you need to take a break and let other people order for you

I don’t really want folks offing themselves – I say terrible things – I’ve slept with the devil

God knows I sinned

I tell him often I’m not worth anything – while begging “don’t let me die here”

It’s complicated

I’m hungry

Food is good

I have leftover soup and bread

I’m trying to find my place in this world – and balance

I’m a Soldier, I like working out – but now I do things differently since I’m at risk of ASDS

So proud of myself for finally reaching my ten minute rebound goals this week

And then 20… 🙂

I’m glad people notice my efforts in the real world – I’m sensitive about my skin scars and stretchmarks tho

Don’t mind my giggly boobs but they need some foods (been ill but also working out and detoxed too)

Got down to 110 in fact, now putting the weight back on

Was 112 last at the VA (will check soon)

Been several weeks tho and I’ve been rebounding most of January 🙂

I’m starting to see thick in the front – like the quad maybe or thigh area

My leg muscles are forming more and tight

My stomach is pretty flat but could be better

I want more tattoos 🙂

Would help make the new me 🙂

Something feminine and cliche

Flowers

Wouldn’t mind some tasteful flowers on my hip area but I gotta find a real artist

I don’t want to decide what will look good on me and the exact spot

Like bro, do your fucking job

I need to hire a decorator for my new lifestyle

I’m a Soldier and poet

I know war and I know words (terribly)

These days it’s the algorithm fucking me up 95% of the time

I miss being a Soldier

I miss my comrades

Gift giving is the heart of tribal union – exchanging gifts. Now I know why I do this.

It’s not my fault others think it’s “too much” or never return anything. I wasn’t in it for returns.

I give because I want to

It’s tribal

I have the eldest and rarest bloodtype – with only 6-11% of the population having it

Part of the 240k woke too

I’m kinda in a cult aren’t I

Hungrz

Must eat!

Posted on January 14, 2023January 3, 2026 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

Study Finds Men Want Love With Prostitutes

Are Men Looking For Love With Prostitutes?
— Read on www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/08/13/relationships-men-fall-in-love-with-prostitutes_n_1772680.html

It’s all been conditioning – these men have been buying sex since children

And now children can see and buy sex toys – toys aren’t behind a black curtain….

The Devil’s society…

Give it time, LGBT will have an orgy in the street.

Porn has ruined man

They fall in love with an idea – and the porn industry repeats the same story throughout years – with all sex workers.

They need the girls in the pictures so much that they use “commoners” as fleshlights

“No one knows why” – ahem bullshite it’s porn

Porn segregates us from unity, imprinting

Well – these boys are exposed to porn at a very young age and it imprints on them.

And image is important to them – gaslighting – so the Church offers a safe haven for these demons – who want us paying for their housing and meals.

They disassociate when they use porn so it’s like they become a completely different person and that’s why there’s no remorse when they do the shit that they do to you

They have an addiction created by the enemy to break up the traditional family value home – all while the immigrants take throne during “yellow fever”

Suicide is a top leading cause of death worldwide

Porn is the gateway drug to ruin

It could be easily censored like they do my free-speech

All the little commoners who get on onlyfans, they just use us up like they do in the real world

Most anyway

OnlyFans say most users loose out – it’s only the top folks with value (society is the Titanic)

They steal money from users too

And as much as I love blogging, I don’t want to continue paying the enemy

Pay to play

I’d rather die than give the state another penny

And I can’t even visit Orlando without having to pay four tolls to return and they aren’t cheap anymore

It’s the same fucking county, but I have to pay to return to the city I’m registered to live in.

Florida is gone

Overrun with evil and immigration

I mean immigrants get here and naturalize faster than we can even procreate or vote

Native Americans were doing just fine here until my bloodline was nearly wiped out by the fucking immigrants that you say bring so much greatness to our country

I fantasize about dying by suicide in terrible and terrifying ways

I know you’re a nihilist and do not care what happens to me…

”To be seen and not heard” while man destroys everything

But as long as we are making him a meal and doing everything for him

While he jerks off to the pretty women prostitutes

And by telling a man not to fall in love with you, they probably absolutely fucking do fall in love with these prostitutes (not commoners)

Because even the guys without any teeth, think they deserve a ten star

And I’ve never been rated a 10 or treated with any value

Lots of marriage proposals though

Fleshlights….

Posted on December 25, 2022December 25, 2022 by poeeternal

Undertow (poem)

Moving forward, turning corners, never finding home
Keep listening, less speaking, and most are always wrong
I go the distance that few ever roam
Universal lessons keep me on my own
Often tribulations can only be learned alone
Weakened and discouraged I’ll stop but not for long
My heart more calloused and hard like bone
Whatever it takes to keep me strong
With wisdom of knowing looking back will turn me to stone

And so this lesson I pack up and carry
The weight of them always seem to vary
Some are black and some are cherry
Some will taste like a strawberry
Some will make you say Hail Mary
Some are found in the obituary
Most will leave you cold and weary
With eyes that sting and oh so blurry
These streets have roadkill of doubt and worry

Self-medicate to try and heal
Get the energy to climb uphill
Another battle of self-will
Another demon I have to kill
Swallow the pain just like a pill
Buried deep so I can’t feel
There’s mostly lows and little thrill
And not an exit out of here
By now my soul is feeling ill
The answers here are never clear

Tie my boot without goodbye
Can’t sit around and watch me cry
More of those with every sigh
If you open and peer inside
It will appear tie-dye
Like an endless horizon in the sky
Pinks and purples which mystify
There my soul longs to fly
Not depths of low but certain high
And not a tear in my eye

You’ll never get close to me
I live by this decree
Very few are worthy
But God has a skeleton key
Buried under a Joshua Tree
Searching will leave you thirsty
The depths I’ve cried fill up a sea
And by this I’m already drowning
It’s past my knee
The undertow came quickly

Posted on November 29, 2022 by poeeternal

Ghosted (poetry)

I’ve been ghosted again
Rambling
These feet catch wind
No shambling
I’m lite as sin
Soul gambling

This is the way God wants it

I’m convinced

He wants me focused on healing ❤️‍🩹

Course correcting

Plugging the ship

Making soup with thangs he grows

The earth has veins and we’re mining her and that’s why sinkholes form

The Devil wants to destroy everything God made and organic

He loves synthetic

The Bible has been rewritten so many times that you are actually serving a dark entity. You are worshiping the devil.

And a false entity

I’ve made so many mistakes

Got a new identity

Getting the apartment back to a shell

I look like I’m moving in or out of hell

Posted on October 27, 2022 by poeeternal

AP (easy rhyme)

Apostrophe needed or misused
Goddess of confused
I’ve imprinted on you

Even when we’re crossed through
My skin is bruised
You’re sin or muse?

It’s just a poem. Chill.

__________ apostrophe to __________

Posted on September 19, 2022 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

May God Pray For You (poetry & photography) NSFW

You taste of Judas Iscariot
Betrayal you’ll marry it
I’ve paid twice for sins
Won’t pay again

144 awakening
7th seal opening
Judgment hour
No hoping (John’s still coping)

One, two
See through all of you

Hell hath arrived
THERE ARE NO GOODBYES

Oh, Prince of This World
They aren’t your gifts to give
Heaven rules over all but this
God is the Void
But Satan rules this world

I am a beggar
Crawling eternally

Helpless to stop it
Remove self from equation
The devil is invasion
I’m losing patience!
Careful crossing occasion
Will get stuck persuading
Hopeful helpful information

Nature becomes conscious of itself through you

I NEED YOU LIKE ETERNITY
Hell is separation
I’M BURNING

If I die here
Nobody will know
I didn’t want to
But nobody will ask you

Fallen
Angelic
Trying to ascend

Need him more and then
Eleven hours spent
Not bad omen

Number signs godsend
I do listen
And then repent

Foreshadowing
But if he’s dropping flags
I’m walking in
Red carpet rolling
With a halo full of sin
God said keep walking
But I want him instead

He turns me SOFT
Like the Grand Canyon will flow
Paradigm shift halo
He owns my soul

I’m sorry he betrayed you
A devil said to shrewd
I think with gratitude
The sun burns the moon
I rest in solitude
Black as blue
But oh so devalued

I do not dream of labor
The moon a gaper
Place our love on paper
He calls –
I turn to vapor

We’re reaching terminal velocity
Death is nearing
Is this the correct speed?
Thought you needed me?

He’s wrapped up in deceit
Like a sheet
Am I a ghost
I am discreet

I’m without kingdom
Guarding eternity
Trident
I’m not lying

WHAT LIES
Beyond the horizon
CRIMINAL EYES
But the sun’s still rising
AND I’M HERE FOR BLOOD

Touch me
So the curse will lift
Kiss me on the lip
Keep me near your hip

More poetry and photography coming! Thank you for your interest in my content! I work hard at it! I hope you are enjoying the Halloween theme! Lingerie bodysuit by Dolls Kills! 🎃

I just dropped a set on the OnlyFans! 40 photos! Like when PlayBoy did 18 & 36 page spreads! SAME! 🤪

I’ve been busy writing and working out! I’ll post behind-the-scenes soon!

It’s BOO season!! 🎃🎃🎃

I’m ready to dawn the Halloween costume daily! I wanna go on a hayride!!!! 👀

All my content is original and I do not use an AI generator to write my poems nor do I scour the web for overused images by others. Sorry not sorry!

Thank you for your viewship and feedback! Highly appreciated! ❤️

Posted on June 28, 2022June 28, 2022 by poeeternal · 1 Comment

Flame (poetry)

I’m in descent
I’m candescent
I’m flame and hemp
Is love exempt?

The void 😩

Thank you so much for the sweet donation that I received over the weekend

I’m trying to center, I’m trying to find my calm in all this

Any activity causes my heart to hurt

Especially getting angry

I’m still sorting through the mental and financial collapse

Folks don’t realize I lost my entire retirement savings – and regular savings.

Years and years of retirement savings gone

So the immigrants could have my job

The cops here say, “it’s federal, nothing we can do”

DICTATORSHIP

Trust me, I’m well known as “red flagged” to the establishment

They know I’ve moved over into the homicidal territory

Armed and dangerous and you’re still not gonna take my right to buy a weapon or to hold one or to fire one

Do you remember when they tried to outlaw alcohol and that law completely failed – yeah try to do that with our guns China – go for it – try to do it, try to take our guns from us, try it, try to put it on paper that we can’t even buy a gun and see what happens, go for it – try it, I dare you! I triple fucking dare you!!

This whole fucking thing is going to collapse if they don’t get off my dick

😇

Pro life tip: You should never tip before you are served

This whole generation of TIP ME NOW AND BEFORE I’VE DONE MY JOB IS BULLSHITE

I hate these fucking policies

And do you know how much effort it is taking me to get my account and data deleted from the Chipotle app? It’s insane!

I’ll never download another app for anything

It should not be this hard to delete yourself from the web

JESUS CHRIST SAVE ME NOW

Has anyone ever unscrambled it? Is it like an anagram for the Devil?

That book of lies

6000 years of gaslighting and dictatorship

I’m DONE

I want to sell my TV and get a DUMB phone.

The problem is, if you get a home line, the only calls you will get are from politicians and the cops wanting money from you because it’s all a fucking scam. And you can’t opt out

Just like we can’t opt out our private home addresses from receiving spam mail for junk food and that is why the Amazon rainforest is being cut down

Immigration is a Trojan horse

When do we save Mother Earth and ourselves

Oh but you have your porn!!!!!!

Porn has rotted your heart and brain!

In other news, I got my printer set up in my master bedroom now. I guess dying makes it harder to manage a household. But whatev.

The black ink is out, but I got the new driver installed on my MacBook so that was a feat in itself. My laptop is aware of the printer and vice versa.

I also have plenty of professional paper to print on, once I sort out the black ink.

I’ve been pulling rare collectibles and other items I plan to list on the eBay – it’s like having an online garage sale.

I have some cool stuff that belong in the hands of someone who will use it. It’s extremely hard for me to part with, but I have bigger goals now tho.

Like being a land owner 👍

Learning how to grow & harvest food

I’m sick of advertising and TV!!!!

I rarely play games

I’m not into entertainment anymore

There’s too much propaganda and busy busy going on

I just want to chill

What the narcissist think is “boring”, is actually just peace

It’s serenity

They don’t want us anywhere near it

It’s poke prod poke prod tee hee I don’t have a fucking soul

“I was joking”

*rolls eyes

It ain’t the disabled vets causing all this disruption and corruption tho

I know y’all like to blame us and pick on us tho…

I also know white people are blamed for the worlds problems – propaganda 101

If u white, u hated for your skin

And then they force us to live next to one another, packing us in like cattle

Watching the slaughter unfold

The immigrants don’t even have to work hard at stealing our country…

Posted on June 9, 2022 by poeeternal

The Wall (songwriting)

Dropping content on my TikTok again! Maybe not what you want but tough-tiddy!

It feels good to be climbing out of the bed after one year down – to start fitness walking and biking again.

And I’ve been getting in over 2 mile walks – which is standard Army PT.

Google maps show a 1 mile walk at 45 minutes and I’m coming in at nearly 2.5 miles in about an hour. In the Florida heat. And sometimes stopping in what shade you find. 🤪

I need a mileage tracker for the bike, and a better way to film than shoving the handsfree down my bosom. 😎

But that keeps both hands on the wheel. 👍

It’s extremely dangerous riding out here. I’ve been nearly wiped out twice in just a week. I’m not exaggerating.

I know you wanna see the city stuff, that’s a bit further out, and even more dangerous.

I’m just now crawling outta my bed.

My doctor still has me on light duty-walking only.

I’m still detoxing 3 times a day, now with the maximum dose allowed. I’m using Black Walnut Wormwood & Apple Cider Vinegar. I’m on a strict diet routine change. I cold cut quit (nearly) the sugar and junk food.

I’m exhausted and climbing Mount Everest every day. I cannot heel.

Appreciate all the good support on my blog and channels! Thank you kindly!

Hot spots: https://linktr.ee/PoeEternal

Posted on May 14, 2022May 14, 2022 by poeeternal

The Missing (poetry)

He must be
Out there in Utah
Part of the bourgeois?
Or just the outlaw?

He must be
Over the burrow
Down in the south?
Just word of mouth?

He must be
Under the willow
Out of the city?
The missing part of me?

But why do I sob when I write? I have to take breaks and blow my nose. 😤

I probably have better poetry in the vault but I’m still freestyle dropping when folks be sleeping.

Things probably could be better but I don’t have any time to waste, I’m dying.

Elon is projecting when he says he wants to “die a mysterious death and go to hell with all his friends”

I think I’m gonna throw up…

But I wrote this poem for us instead

I don’t even know who “us” is

I’m not living to my purpose

*dies on street*

*sobs*

On a positive note, my hashtag has been searched/viewed over 15,500 times on the TikTok (Poe says he’s responsible for a few) 🤓

Why wouldn’t Edgar like me showing up to his poetry readings, I’m his biggest fan next to you

I’d probably have like a signed tee-shirt or something

And the fact that he died on the street naked mad out of his mind completely poor and unable to sell any of his writings to the local press to earn a penny so that he could eat even though he served as an officer in the military for two years tells me that he was not a narcissist – because his family said “he was no good alive” and refused to attend his funeral dead

They proceeded to toss him in an unmarked box in an unmarked location

*tries to calm down*

At this point, a box to be buried in is a surplus cuz I don’t have a pot to piss in

I don’t know what state you live in, you never wish me a happy birthday, and I hope you also burn in hell

~~And I wouldn’t invite you to any of my events either~~

Hot spots: https://linktr.ee/PoeEternal

Posted on March 20, 2022March 20, 2022 by poeeternal

Long-awaited (poetry)

The earth is the ether
Everything we’ve done laid beneath her

Observation changes outcome
But never what I’ve done
I’ll never get to hold your son
We’ll never get to live as one…

Find someone who wants to love you and let them love you good
Don’t do stuff to hurt them and treat them like you should

I can see your shadow
Reflecting off the ground
I can see your body
Though nobody is around

Not all heroes wear a cape
Some smiling faces full of ache
A soldier’s weapon ain’t his blade
Might find him praying in the shade
One might grow up but still not age

Discoloration in the grass
I know he bled her last

The poet’s hope is a shield of nope

I sleep with knife under pillow
One eye on the blade
Certifications are dusty
I still made the grade!

I knew I would die before I was born
I entered life with so much scorn

I obviously wasn’t happy about coming here (why) (what did I know) (remember who you are)

Even mountains crumble
God can make a rumble

I sleep with a Glock
I keep the safety off

He came down from Orlando
Took the bus though
Sat by the window?

Not home no more
From life to morgue

How do you know me?
Been only suffering…

There’s static energy in the air
I can still feel it there
I can feel it everywhere

English is the language of the Illuminati.
Numbers and spells, but their words never haunt me!

If it moves like a snake, it might be sly
If it’s blue as a lake, it could be sky…

For me, death was failure and not an option
Life not an auction

Still heart was throbbing
Lung decomposing

But soul was hoping
That he still loved me
Forever eternity

We are born without clothing
So why call me unholy

How long does it take for a soul to decompose?
Could you let my twin flame know?

I want to break out of the zero energy field
All the sin you yield

The end is a human construct, time doesn’t exist. Remember this.

A soldier is best dressed with guns and knives;
I don’t tell no lies

He came by bus, left by feet
Thought he was discreet

They added a third charge. Illegal immigration. And what, now he gets a free home in the US forever paid for by us? No. Off with his head.

They said he sliced their necks open so far he almost decapitated both of them

And now he gets free dental, sunshine, and housing

While the vets are homeless and starving

Like Edgar Allan Poe, who was an officer who died on the fucking street of starvation and hunger

You should’ve seen me storming into the Daytona Beach police station demanding to speak to somebody “with some compassion” because I didn’t want to die on the street like him but they claim it’s just a “federal matter” and “nothing they can do”

~~Policy~~ China’s social credit system / Hitler’s regime is still in charge

Oops! How did I go from poetry to politics.

I’m a Soldier 24/7 even out of uniform

I see Chess pieces moved that you haven’t considered

Maybe sometimes

But also the math is wrong 🤨

Have you considered a different formula or equation?

One that wasn’t written to fit the illuminati’s reality?

We have an abundance of free energy

Homeschooling is a thang 👍

Posted on December 23, 2021December 24, 2021 by poeeternal

He shoots for moon (poetry)

He shoots for moon where feet don’t leave ground
He’s overturning forest where we won’t hear sound
Maybe he’s holy but evidence can never be found

Well it’s not just police who are corrupt
They say La Palma will erupt
I’ve been running round in circles but I haven’t any luck

When will you return to sky?
When cold winter night leaves a frosty veil beneath earth’s eye?
Do angels sigh?
When hope is quaking, do you reply?
Is this goodbye?

I dug up your sorry’s from the bottom of a well.
I hung them to dry in sunlight.
During high noon when crust is tight.

How can it be called failure if you weren’t delivered all the facts?
How can you say you love me, when you seem to have two backs?
How can hope carry forward when courage is what the whole world lacks?

The sky is filled with pattern
Little beating hearts
Everything we imagine
Brushstrokes of color
Icy comets breaking free from Saturn
Looking back a lantern
Couldn’t stop expansion
If there’s hope we’ll never mention
Lying with intention
Buried neath the earth
Tension tight like a cavern

Lay down your metric
The sun is electric
No need for trick
Trust truth is thick

It’s all for science
It’s called compliance

He thinks I’m safe
Prying eyes that never see
These white walls never protected me

Arguing with shadow-self
Or maybe forget him
On my dusty shelf
I’m beside myself
Taking the high step
The long road
Uneasy depth
Don’t have care left
Am I right
Or is this hell?

He’s terrible
By the book
Unrepairable

A courtesy disconnect
This life not best

I live in a world of illusions
We live in a sickness system
Trust betrayal

I don’t feel safe from corporations
Wrongful allegations
Erasing obligations

You don’t know what it’s like to be Allan
Running ’round always yellin’
Dying on the street and all from famine
Being number one but just in heaven

What has happened to his words?
Did I deliver, kiss or curse?

Sorry. The content cannot be loaded
You have been ghosted
Your soul eroded
Now dark unfolded

I was without form
The great potential
But nothing more

I have a hundred personalities, I’ve lived a million lives
You are attacking me with words that feel like knives

Thanks for checking out my blog, for the follows, the feedback, and the love! 🥰

Happy holidays! 🎄⛪️🎄

Posted on October 12, 2021October 12, 2021 by poeeternal · 6 Comments

Without Direction

Been walking in all direction
But nowhere I need to go
He sends me nature pictures
Sitting in his Volvo

There’s at least two boys out there I love with my whole heart ❤️‍🩹

People seem to think I wouldn’t love them if I knew who they really were

Don’t I know everything and nothing at all? 🤔

I’ve been sent here with filters of my own

I mean, you don’t even think you’re a decent human being but I don’t even think I’m human…

I identify as AI 👀

Can a machine/program love?

Is protection the same thing as love? Nurturing

Okay, so I’m sentinel and suicidal because I can’t save the world

I couldn’t save John Jones

I can’t save you

I can’t save him

I can’t save myself

I can’t change a fucking thing

And it does something to whatever you are or were trying to be 🛑

When you realize that everything you’ve been fighting to protect was actually just to help the enemy in your own land 🛑

And your Comrades are dying by the same disease you’re afflicted by 🛑

Depression 💔

Isn’t suicide a more honorable death than living life like this?

Soldiers are busy in foxholes fighting for your protection to actually know what’s really going on in the world and then we get back here like what in the actual fuck 🛑

I have always felt that people who died by suicide were courageous

and I still don’t understand why I don’t have the same courage in myself 💪

Or perhaps it isn’t my day yet 😡

God knows I’ve written a book on every way I’ve died

And fuck the tears that I cried

To think I could do that to myself, an actual living entity 👀

And dwell on it every day

I have to break a lot of code and programming in me to go that route

I’m still upside down in that cave with John 👀

It seems like the only people I talk to these days are official people or my enemies who I continue to tell my every fucking move because they know it anyway

I even told my enemy I’m starting a commune

This was after I looked him dead in the eye and told him I did a tour in Kuwait and Iraq as a combat medic as he started to scratch his throat

I love being a good bad angel

You don’t know what I’m gonna fucking do

👀

Posted on September 23, 2021 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

I dreamed of you (poetry)

I dreamed of you wild
Stomping
Both fury and curiosity in design

You took breath maximally
You smelled of earth
Woodchips and pine

The dawn approached beyond heaven
But your lips told not of the hills you’d been
Your back was wrapped in vine

And was it not wonder peaking the mountains
The way my heart looks up to you
Turning poison into wine

My hair smells of white citrus and lime

My favorite store mailed me a coupon for a free panty. Got something good in the mail finally. And more gifts from the uni!!!!

Posted on September 22, 2021September 23, 2021 by poeeternal

Pinecones (poetry)

He followed my scent
And did I leave heaps on the trail?
Rotten pinecones fermented in the sun?
Bark dripping sap like regret?
Was it sticky sweet my love?

Welp. It’s so tiny. And my very first, freestyle non-rhyming micropoem.

Gonna build my own tinfoil dome

You know how they talk about in the matrix how sometimes the mind can’t handle the truth? Well that’s the balancing beam I’m currently on

👀👁👀

Posted on September 15, 2021September 15, 2021 by poeeternal

John Jones

Have you ever had your chest caught on the lip of the earth?
And were you kicking in a panic reconsidering your worth?
Have you ever been so hollow the upside down became your perch?
And when all efforts were exhausted did you regret what you researched?

The story of how John Jones died in that cave hasn’t left my mind

Hands down, the scariest way to die. And he crawled into his grave. He tried Mother Earth on for size, and they became one. She wasn’t going to let him go.

Gravity scares the shit out of me.

We’re not meant to leave this Earth

I’m having feels

My doggy isn’t doing good and I reckon I ain’t either

Posted on April 13, 2021April 14, 2021 by poeeternal

Down in the mines (lots of rhymes + 1 haiku 💋)

Sometimes there are none
But rarely ever few
Sometimes they are one
Or maybe simply two

Sometimes I go numb
When only counting you
But only when I’m dumb
Do I really catch the view

How dare he –
Walk into the devil’s den –
And insult she –
He’s looking for an end!

He tells me I’m perfect; without ever saying the words
And even when I’m not worth it; his love will come in herds

I scream at him with the fury of a sun
I scratch and claw
He is a demon
After all

There are people trying to bury me in a box
Friend or foe
They’re never what I thought
The story goes
They talk a lot of talk
Well I unplugged
Am paranoid around the clock

There are monsters lurking every inch
And forward sleeping
Nightmares in my grip
What were you thinking
When giving me a pinch?
So now I’m left dreaming
Of when I’ll never give a shit!

Who are you then?
If every reason I’m not dead?

Knock knock
Who’s there?
I dunno
And I don’t care

She had a graveyard in her front yard

Was it worth it?
Losing your life to escape?

And all that gold around your worry
Is that really what it takes?

But even the lowest of lowly
Can’t remove the aches

Keeping vision blurry
No courage had to face

The sun is glaring in a hurry
And death is on our race

If life is but a scurry
Please let me die with grace?

I’m trying to be more open
Open to proceed
I’m trying to be more open
Open to receive

Cohesive
What he said
Cohesive
But he’s dead

Everybody burns out
Everybody burnt out
Everybody burns out
Everybody burnt out

Rest is for the weary
Broken down and dreary
Vision not too clearly

One day the end will come
God will fix what man has done

A bigger piece doesn’t always mean the best;
But in his case, he’s outdone the rest!

He wants me in denim
But then he’s clinging
To my tongue
That’s leaking venom

World is all burning
So give me balloon in sky
On string with fire 💋

I gather nuts and bolts just like they’re little clues
Now fleeting with the stars thoughts that will confuse
I gather up our fears just like it is the news
I color out of line simply to amuse

Submission without admission
Ascending to attention
But in case I fail to mention
Descension brings dimension

Thank you for visiting my blog! I am working in my studio all week – writing and recording spoken word for my patrons- as well as working on some other secret projects!

I really appreciate your visits to my blog! Your feedback, your comments, likes, pledges, subscriptions, all the things!

You keep me on my toes!!

Posted on July 16, 2020July 16, 2020 by poeeternal · 7 Comments

50K!! Life, Regrets, Lessons, Love (& a mini rhyme too)

OMG y’all, this pandemic/quarantine/shutdown has left me gasping to find inspiration. I haven’t got to go to one gig this year to see a band I love or anything and that’s what I’m pretty much alive for. I haven’t got to get in my Jeep and just travel for hundreds of miles to another state to go see a band I love or a friend. Zero road trips. I’m alive for the arts. Music. Poetry. Drink. Freedom of choice. And I fought for these things too.

But borders are closing. Hospitals overflowing. Information disclosing. Opinions opposing. People exposing.

There’s been little to live for but alot to be said. And for the record, I am PRO MASK. I worked as an EMT medic for many years, in the hospitals, in the fields, and in combat zones. There’s not anything you’re going to say that’s going to defer my opinion from what the CDC is putting out. Or from what my training and experience has taught me. And I’m the kind of person that would gladly get back in the Army just to have the right to enforce that on you. I was an excellent soldier, and once a soldier, always a soldier. HOOAH. And there are medics that are actually returning to the government military just to help with this pandemic. Wear a mask. 😷

I have found some inspiration during this epidemic and that’s the amount of traffic and feedback I’ve been getting on my poetry and on my blog/ website. And for some reason it just inspires me to keep writing and sharing. Despite the terrible lows and hailing cries. Despite the unfollows and lost patrons. I am moving on. I go from barefoot to combat boots. I am both feminine and masculine. Soft and hard. Together and messy. Life is complicated. But I created my blog as a safe place to write. And I’ve even done monstrous things here but life goes on and I do not dwell. I’m evolving. Sometimes I turn into the monsters I am slaying. Hive mind. Even from the depths of hell, I can’t control all of me, all the time *gasp*. But I blame big Pharma and depression just as much as I do myself.

Sometimes I stop and commend myself for making it this far. For all the storms I’ve actually gone through, not just the internal ones, but the real ones. Sandstorms. Hurricanes. Unfit parents. Sexual, verbal, and physical abuse survivor. War. (I’d even throw childbirth in there and a rib tattoo, broken bones, sickness). STORMS. 🤓

I’ve got enough medals and awards from the military that I could fill an entire wall but nothing makes me happier than to see my blog hit FIFTY THOUSAND VIEWS. 50,000 visits to my little home on the web!!! 😍

I read through the WordPress FAQ some time ago to see if my own IP/visits are counted / included and THEY ARE NOT (though the do keep track of authors separately because you can have multiple authors on a single blog (which is why you can see yourself in the stats but if you go read the FAQ you will see that it clearly does not count towards your view/visit counts to your own blog!!

My blog has also been getting more follows too, the current tally is 834 blog followers and if I ever hit 1K I will squeal! I am a terrible blogger in that my depression and anxiety keeps me isolated, so I’m not social, but I put everything I have into the words I bring you. I’m genuine, I’m just emotionally unavailable. Maybe my soul is leaking from my pen and now you all have bits of me. I’m giving you all I have.

Your feedback and comments and support is a treasure surely and though I oft little share it in return, I am grateful for you. I’ll even protect you and take a bullet for you but hold your hand, no. Sometimes people ask me what my sexuality is or my nationality and I say vampirism. I walk the streets of hell alone, it is my duty. I cannot be sidetracked by lust and sins, be gone demons. I’ve had enough. Mine is tempered and sleeping this decade off because- Apophis 2029. I’m only interested in spiritual healing, positive energy, and mental growth. I’m dying. The end is painful but the environment must be peaceful, dig? I don’t want you in my foxhole. But near. Tell me of beauty and poetry. I’m entitled to die how I want. If they made assisted suicide legal, I’d be on that bandwagon in a heartbeat.

Depression is and can be TERMINAL. The methods for treating depression are barbaric. From foxholes to thorazine hazed padded rooms. Fuck you. My diary 2020. Bringing it to you live right now. This year so far, on top of this pandemic, I was nearly hospitalized without my permission, taken in the back of a cop car, to a hospital so my mental health could be evaluated before they decided if they were going to withhold me, for a minimum of one week (7 days), without my permission, without any way to escape, without my service dog, my phone, or even the clothes on my back. In fact, while I was waiting in a locked room, they removed all of my clothing and items and gave me a hospital gown. 4 hours later the doctor saw me and agreed I was fit enough to return home. Which was great because I had already pre-warned the cop that if I was separated from my dog I was about to turn into a criminal with a record… but also, recently as the shutdown was happening here in Florida, I got pulled over by three cops in 3 cop cars with their lights going for not doing a full stop at the sign. A tiny fraction of a rolling stop- 3 cops. And I nearly died of a heart-attack. And white privilege was definitely not rolling around in my head, more like fear, but it did help that I was a damsel in distress and (kind of cute but my dog is cuter), but I didn’t yell at the cops either, or give them any more reasons to come at me hostilly cuz they weren’t fucking around… anyhoo that was probably my 8th life out of 9 cat lives lived/used… my luck and time is running out. But also, lesson learned STAY HOME.

2020 has mostly been lows but the blog love has been a lifeboat, a lighthouse, and even a life jacket and I can breathe a little. There’s nothing worse than my freedom being threatened. But I’ve been responsible for it being threatened every time, my worst enemy is me.

Fuck defundung the police. How about giving back the rights to vote to voters who are back in society. Think about all the people in America who cannot vote because of the War on Drugs, marijuana is becoming legal in a lot of States, but there are still people behind bars for marijuana offenses. WRONG. FREE THE PEOPLE. FREE THE PLANT. STOP THE WAR ON DRUGS. WE NEED REFORM IN JAILS AND PRISONS. We need to give people back their right to vote!!! “But voting doesn’t make a difference” fuck you- IT DOES. Utilize your right to vote! Florida had on the ballot to give back prior criminals the right to vote and it passed and I was there voting on that issue, I voted yes, give them their rights back to vote, so luckily people who have gone to jail or prison over the War on Drugs at least in Florida now have the right to vote again, fucking use your voice, it works! And yes I know all about the NWO / New World Order Illuminati, I know they exist, but on a state-level voting helps.

Anyway, I’m not allowed to talk about politics or religion or even what kind of medications I’m allowed to put in my own body because I will literally lose followers and supporters… Someone out there right now is probably unfollowing me because I am pro mask and pro medicinal marijuana. Or pro-voter. I’ve lost followers for not being Christian enough. For vampire cosplay. For not being sexually available for their needs. For not giving them my precious energy or time. For showing my boobs. For not showing my boobs. I mean, all I have to do is wake the fuck up and I’ll lose a follower. Here, there, everywhere. It’s frustrating. It’s meant to hurt. It always does. And sometimes I even run off followers with a duststorm following behind. It’s regretful yes. I’ve even sent hatemail. UGGG. THE CROSS I CARRY. CURSED. Sometimes I know what caused the manic outbreaks. I’m just trying to get to a point in my life where I don’t react. Zen. I also get my Jeep paid off in October which will be my last car payment and that will bring me some financial freedom and I’ll be out of the financial apocalypse that I found myself in. Then I’m saving for a trip to the UK. VACA. TRAVEL. The thing I live for. MUSIC. BUSH. BANDS.

Thanks for reading my blog! For following! For liking and commenting! For re-blogging or sharing my work! For dealing with my anti-social behavior and mood swings. For forgiving me of my mistakes and still loving me when I make them because you see that I’ve put in effort to get better or change. For trying to listen and learn about depression. For allowing me to be completely transparent with you. For letting me decide things and then change my mind. For letting me experiment with who I am and what is art. For letting me share my sexuality without there being some form of sexual harassment that always follows. For letting me just be me and not having to give you anything in return (tid for tat). For liking me despite my flaws. For encouraging me to keep writing!! For reading my rhyme!!! There just aren’t many people who are into rhyming poetry or even that many rhyming poets left!! So I’m grateful for you! And I need so much space currently to write. I need the space to be a certain energy or vibe. I don’t have time or energy to piss away, I have so much left to say and so little mood or energy to do it!! Thanks for listening! THANKS FOR 50,000 VISITS TO MY BLOG. HOLY SHIT. I love you. 😍

Screenshot of my pinned tweet by the amazing actor, Val Kilmer who said he LOVED my handle (my Twitter name which is my pseudonym/pen name on the web and under which I write /publish poetry).

As a writer, it was cool to get a compliment about my pen from one of my favorite actors since I was 10 years old, and first saw him in the film Willow. Loved him in Batman, The Doors, and so many more movies!! I wish I could get my hands on some of Kilmer’s poetry. And I’m devastated I sold my first edition poetry book by Jim Morrison on Ebay but financial apocalypse… (it was either going to be an heirloom for my child or it was going to be loot in my tomb).

Link to Tweet: https://twitter.com/valkilmer/status/854383768030724096?s=19

I’m sorry the audio is out of synch with the video. I tried recording 20 times, 2 different devices, restarting device & internet, still not in sync. Accepted life is messy and not perfect. Edited and posted anyway for effort and because 50K!!

50K!!! Edgar Allan Poe sends his regards 😆

I was up all night nearly patiently waiting for my blog to roll over to 50,000 views. This was 10 views away from 50K. And I missed 50,000, when it turned it was already at 50,003!! 🤓

If you’re bothered by a little bra showing, it’s Florida m’kay, nearly 100 degrees here… no filter. Thanks for 50K!!! I luv u!!!

I don’t have just a few freckles, in reality, I have more freckles on my body than existing galaxies…

For realz (just change ‘outing’ to ‘anything I said yes to’ instead)

If you enjoyed this post or enjoy this blog and would like to make a donation to support my creativity, you can donate to my PayPal here: https://www.paypal.me/deliaross

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Posted on June 27, 2020 by poeeternal

Free MP3 of Original Spoken Word Poetry

oh hi my loves. i’ve just dropped some free spoken word on my Patreon campaign, as a thank you for supporting my campaign / & my blog. i hope you will enjoy it. ❤

Words Are Arrows Spoken Word MP3 (free) can be found at this link: https://www.patreon.com/posts/38682079

Free spoken word on my latest Patreon post! Recorded with love!!

You can support my writing by subscribing to my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal

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Posted on March 16, 2020May 11, 2020 by poeeternal

Half Broken Dreams (And Poetry)

It’s been a minute since I’ve shared one of these, half broken dreams and poetry. It’s like I’m ripping apart from the seams. Go ahead, take a piece of me.

How foolish to believe he could love a girl like me
A girl who’s good and full of integrity
How stupid to think I had any charm
I’m just a girl avoiding harm

But the sun it never sleeps
And my heart it always weeps
But the secrets that you carry
Are too much for one to bury

I am hard on the edges
Always hanging off of ledges
He is soft as a peach
A heart enriched and simply sweet

He is a moving sea
Wrapped up in poetry
The way it moves with me
So gently

The emptiness settles over me like fog rolling over hills and mountains…

If only he’d given us a chance, we might have got it right.

He’s like a midnight haunting
I’m always wanting
The way he taunts me
It’s like he wants me

Taking off my clothes on some days is harder than facing an enemy with a bomb…

Their tongues instantly went in orbit around each other.

He has a different touch
It’s not layered with thorns
And underneath his surface
There isn’t any horns

Her lips turn centuries
The way he lets her hang onto forever
She burns like midnight oil
But like a wildfire let her burn
Then the seeds will come

You just sit there letting yourself harden
Where is your heart then
May I still tend?

You, you are home
Your words my magic kingdom
Your mind a wicked garden
Your voice my heart’s beacon

Why does she get all of the reward?

She’s putting lipstick on her cracks
As she crawls around his back
Any love for her I lack

I am married to doubt
My tears falling devout
Like rain coming down a sprout
I’m given out

Danger here be the heart. All poetry be in my veins.

It comes at me like three round burst
The anxiety is getting worse
The loss of hope is where it hurts

History is going to be written whether we succeed or fail.

Keep your heart open they say
But now uninvited guests have come to stay

Condemnation building like condensation.

Truth bites and barks like a rabid dog
I pretend there is life in the lie
Reason knocks hurrily like he’s got somewhere to be
I told him to get lost
I drowned him with liquor

If you dig my writing, you can support my blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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Posted on February 11, 2020March 15, 2020 by poeeternal

Veil

Would you like what was underneath my veil?
Crimson iron
Salty prisons
White mountains
Hidden trails

Would you like the stories I’d have to tell?
Begotten truths
Perished dreams
Endless obloquy
Skin with scales

Have you ever seen a heart with nails?
The heavy burden
The icy trotter
The lonely barter
The girl who wails

Are you ever missing details?
Empty bedrooms
Abandoned vows
Broken mirrors
All effort fails

I was going to write a non rhyme, and then I was going to write a rhyme, and then I decided to write a non rhyming rhyme and thus this poem formed… but I like how it turned out. Do you? 🤔

If you dig my stuffs, you can support my blog by subscribing to my Patreon here 👉 https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/

I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: https://www.twitter.com/poeeternal