Look at all the dust collecting on the wing
Look at all the lessons where we haven’t learned a thing
Look at all the voices crying they don’t know to sing
Look at all the petty liars bowing for their king
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
Just freestyle dropped this poem
What’cha think?
Can’t believe I’m turning 43 next week (no grays yet)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRJsHg1h/
What happened to you, why did you leave?
The ocean fills with tears I grieve,
I searched for you ’til I found void,
I fell for you ‘cuz I’m not poised!
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
It feels weird to use full on punctuation in my poetry but one of the main reasons I stopped doing it was because someone from another country said it doesn’t translate well in a translator with punctuation and I took that whole heartedly into consideration, secondly poetry is supposed to be freeform and I like to just not use rules because there seems to be a lot of rules for there to not be any… (gaslighting is everywhere huh)
In this timeline you disappeared
Your words, your face, they’re not here
I lied when I said I persevered
Things are getting worse I fear
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
He thinks I don’t love him cuz I rip pages from the spine 😩
We are never to discuss my real age again 🤪
In vampyre years, I am 420
Next Thursday, I will be turning 430. Vampires age differently
But next week, I will have lived 430 years!
That’s why I know so much stuff!!
In angelic years, I am 15 😇
All angels are children
Please don’t be fooled by that sexist Bible which tells you that all angels are men
All angels are children
I age differently
And we are never to discuss my real age ever again 😈
I’ve met dudes who was all into me but kept bringing up the fact that I was older and how they want to be with an “older woman”
Like, you had one job and that was to make me feel young 😩
It’s kinda hard to respond to people when they attack me about being single too
But
It helps to not bring up the fact that I’m fucking older than you 😏
Yes, I have a fucking ego
You may identify as a fucking pop tart but I identify as young and it’s like my fucking motto
At least when people scold me that I act like a child we can actually agree on something
Now you’re speaking my language
Where’s my fucking candy?
TikTok is a landmine but I’ve got on my battle-rattle! 😈
So proud of myself for reporting a comment on TikTok instead of just getting upset and blocking the person
And TikTok removed their comment and I’m calm, I didn’t get upset, I just immediately reported it.
I didn’t respond to it, I just reported it and like I have a blog full of readers who like to listen to me so I’m not gonna have conversations with toxic people online who already have an opinion to troll you
So proud of myself
Growing ups
Got my big panties on today
😈
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMR14kapu/
Got an appointment with my primary care doctor tomorrow, will be discussing in person my heart test results (still waiting on results from my heart monitor tho) and discussing options on treatment, so I will update you!
I still have chest pain, fluid in my sac, and a goofy left lung that isn’t inflating fully (along with a list of other side effects)
Y’all remember that film “Signs” by Mel Gibson? Sometimes I think getting struck by lightning in my Jeep, prepared me for this.
I remember blogging about that lightning strike and talking about Brother Thor pinching me to wake me up about something, I just wasn’t sure what.
Maybe, getting struck prepared my heart for what was to come.
But, my holy ghost showed up after I was vaccinated and experiencing a lot more pain than people gaslit me to believe the Moderna vaccines would be
But he showed up and we did things we’d never done before 👀
And I think I probably love him 👀
There are atoms in me trying to reach him 👀
He is keeping me alive 👀
Just waiting to be ghosted, already half dead so dying on the street wouldn’t be hard
But there are things inside me wanting a chance at life 👀
Women can conceive in their 50s
I’m getting so close to that number that dying naked on the street feels like home
I’ve lived a very lonely and sexually deprived existence
I’m not meeting my potential as a child bearing woman
I’ve been having my period since I was 13
Getting pregnant now puts me into the “miracle zone”
I’m turning 43 next week (August 19th) 👀
I didn’t have one birthday card in my mailbox when I checked but goddamn Spectrum I hear from them every other day
They want my business so bad I’m about to go to jail because they won’t stop soliciting me at my home private address
Since when did our home address and our private phone numbers become a tool for spammers and advertisers?
We need some protection as a civilian
It’s getting ridiculous
Born to consume only
I don’t even know why people want to have kids anymore
The game is rigged
Anyhoo, I gotta go talk to my Primary care doctor tomorrow to find out what my life expectancy actually is now, and if there’s hope for a full recovery
I was to do the stress test today but I canceled that bitch yesterday but my doctor already knew about it when she called me. I already told her I wasn’t prepared to do the stress test, she did not give me a hard time or even give her opinion on why I need it. She understood.
I had 2 stress tests I was due to take this week, but no. My body, my choice.
I also need to discuss with my doctor about the booster shots for Covid-19 since soldiers are now being enforced the vaccines, they will soon be pushing that onto the veterans and I’m never getting anything ever put back in my body ever again, so World War III will break out and you will be hearing from me on the top o’clock news if they ever try to fucking push a booster shot into me or deny me service because I don’t want it in my body
I can just feel it though, they’re going to be pushing for those booster shots annually with the flu vaccine (but enforced) and to everybody out there going “but this vaccines are free, it doesn’t cost anything” you are so fucking wrong and don’t understand how life is actually working, Big Pharma is not working for free honey, 9 new billionaires did not evolve out of this mess from nowhere 👀
Politicians are just puppets for what corporations want and corporations control us through spam and advertising which we give them permission for 👀
The constitution is no longer “for the people”
I’ve been saying this over and over since the “Bush 911 signing statements” but you didn’t hear me did you
And you voted for Biden didn’t you?
🙄
I’ll be dead in my grave (that I don’t have because being buried is only for rich people apparently), but I can hear it in my decaying bones, “she was right about everything”
In 200 years, when y’all finally awake, make me the mascot leader please, k, thanx, bye
Y’all read through all of this and I can already feel people out there going, “she’s 43”???
Well, very soon. 42 currently
(He’s probably going to ghost me now) 😩
*dies on street*
Send me one more piece of junk mail for your fucking services and I’m coming up to your fucking building
I’m coming up to your fucking building and you’re not gonna like me turning Karen on you, I can fucking promise you that, you’re not gonna fucking like it if I have to come up to your fucking office, stop harassing me, stop sending me mail!!!
I’ve opted out on your website via phone and mailings several times and every day there is a piece of spam in my mailbox from you! This has gone on for four years!
I’m about to go postal, do you fucking hear me now now!?!
Stop sending me mail! I’ve opted out on your website several times!!! Stop spamming me!!!
I made a TikTok about it because this is your final fucking warning to leave me the fuck alone!!!
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMR1BWwrf/
God damn you make me ill!!!!!
I have done everything in my power to get rid of advertising in my life, to the point that I don’t even watch fucking TV and yet every time I go check my mailbox I have some junk mail by Spectrum and I’m gonna fucking blow all the buildings up if you don’t leave me the fuck alone
👀
Unfuckinghinged
Final warning
👀
And the thing is I am with sound fucking mind telling you this but you have driven me out of my fucking mind
So how sound am I?
Like flicking the match to light my cigarette fucking calm before exiting my vehicle
👀
This sort of harassment with spam and advertising should be illegal, my fucking personal mailbox should not be used like this.
I spend way too much money in rent every month to be consistently harassed by your fucking company
Leave me the fuck alone!!!!!
Rape rape rape of privacy!
Help!!!! Being harassed!!!!!!
Spectrum is harassing me!!!!
Can I get a fucking restraining order?????
Again, I have visited their website on several occasions and filled out the information and the forms to opt out of communications or services and they won’t leave me alone and it’s been going on for four years and I’m losing my fucking mind!!!!
I am not exaggerating, it’s every other fucking day I have a piece of junk mail by them over four years now!!!
They are responsible for destroying the rainforest!!!!!
Help!!!!!!
I’m being held prisoner against my will!!! Why is this company allowed to mail me so much fucking shit to my private home address?
Why do they have my fucking private home address? Why do all these goddamn fucking companies have my private home address?
Turn your advertising off everywhere, including on Yahoo because they are selling your personal information!! And god knows what other apps!
Anytime you download an app or use an app you are giving them permission to fucking ruin your life!!!!
Help!!!!! Tell Spectrum to stop harassing me by sending me offers for services every other day to my home address despite opting out on their fucking website!!!
Who is in charge because something bad is going to happen if I get any more fucking mail by them, there’s something bad gonna fucking happen if I get any more mail by them, this is your final fucking warning, your final fucking warning!!!!
Where the fuck are my rights?
I said NO
No means no!
Rape!!!!!
*loads gun*
I ain’t playing around 👀
I know I’m not the only one being fucked out there by these companies, I hope somebody else has my fucking back around here!!!
Like the fucking law!
No means no!!!!
Leave me alone!!!!!
Go away!!!!!
Private address!!!
No soliciting!!!!!
Fuck off!!!
I will fucking die before I ever join Spectrum
You’re never getting me now!!!!
It’s a matter of principle 💪
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
I’m pretty sure I woke up my neighbors venting about your fucking company
And look at this bullshit, they’re responding by giving me an external link to use, I’m not clicking that fucking shit, that’s how you get shit installed on your fucking computers or devices, I don’t touch fucking links!!!
Goddamn these motherfuckers get my goddamn heart rate up and I need zero stress right now in my life because I already have heart trouble
But yesterday when I went to get the mail out of my mailbox and I had two more pieces of junk mail by spectrum I nearly lost my fucking mind
Because it’s been going on for four years and I can’t get it to stop
👀
Nightmare
I’m in hell
Some external loop
I’m in the wrong timeline
Somebody needs to get spectrum off my back though because I’m about to go to jail
👀
Made a TikTok about my frustration with Spectrum: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMR1SLQgk/
They better be on a fast track of deleting me from their fucking systems
Anybody else harassed by them? Drop it in the comments!
I don’t know how to clean a house
I’ve tried
I’ve cried
I’ve nearly died
The clothes, the mold, the mirror shows
I don’t know how to let things go
The shoes, the booze, the way you bruise or how it seems we’re born to lose
The dusty cracks, the care I lack, they say for certain my heart turned black
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
Dropped spoken word of this on my TikTok!
OK I am being a tiny bit dramatic – however I have received several follows, several likes on my content and one of my newest videos has already had a share and that’s the first time I think any of my videos has been shared outside of the TikTok platform by another person (aside from myself)
My channel is also getting comments (on the videos I allow comments) and after having been attacked all night by others on TikTok, I woke up to this beautiful comment about me having an angel face 😇
So in terms of activity, it’s getting it and moreso than normal
That did my ticker some good and I’m growing thicker skin.
I’ve had to block several people tho but also I think I must’ve got blocked by another creator because I left a comment on their content about how they forgot to mention how people can’t actually retire when they retire, that they have to keep working and it was getting a lot of negative feedback, I only responded to others about the recession and the great depression because they were just saying people aren’t working hard enough if they can’t retire and that is definitely not the issue but it says the video is gone so I don’t know if the video is actually deleted or if I was blocked and I don’t actually remember the creators name to spy
I was literally making his video go viral with everybody responding to my comment and I can’t even fucking access it now, this is how toxic TikTok really is 😈
And I’m trying to find my voice, I’ve been sharing feelings (oh noes) which opens me up for even more attacks, but I need people to know we are in a mental prison 👀
We are being controlled through Big Pharma and advertising – and I hate to be fucking blunt but India is solely responsible for 90% of that
They spam us so much
And for the love of God please stop reading a book that was written by some boys in the middle east who were completely sexist towards women – please stop letting them fucking control you and stop giving them your fucking money at church
It’s time for Rome to fall again
God sent his best angel here (me) to warn you
And some are listening!
You’d be surprised at the amount of people I have actually woke up!!!
And, people have been attacking my blog and my poetry all night on TikTok simply because I said scientist were destroying the world or something so they instantly go after my heart
Personal attacks consistently but I did wake up to somebody complementing my angel face 🥰
I definitely identify as an angel so there’s that 😇
People forget that angels are warriors
I am a warrior and the United States Army and uncle Sam came back that up 💪
I’ve been itching to drop more poetry for you, just waiting on that improv spark that I get (I also have terrible stage fright so performing doesn’t come easy mixed with anxiety and a brain injury)
I have the option to record for 3 minutes now but hell it seems 30 seconds or under is my niche
But I’m pushing myself I really am!
And making TikTok’s has been easy on my heart. Talking and editing goes well on bed rest (yup still dealing with a swollen heart and left lung not inflating)
Crucifixions on TikTok are a dime a dozen which is why when I get a rare, positive comment it really sticks
Right in my fucking heart
And repairs all that negative shit and propels me forward for my next improv video
I studied drama and improv for two years in highschool
I am a very theatrical person
Le vampyre
*sigh* fallen angel 😏
My TikTok channel also received its very first Q&A question, so I answered via a video reply, it is getting some love too!!! Thank you!! 👇
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdoxb5hk/
It wasn’t the nicest comment that I could receive but I think I answered well 😈
I mean it was the middle of the night and it literally took no effort to go through that door 😈
My ego must be the size of the entire galaxy 😈
If I stop blocking everybody, I might actually get more views on my channel 👀
I’m gonna to try to stop blocking people…
Link to my channel: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdoQkKnk/
Y’all, my TikTok account received its 1st question, “How do you walk through doors with an ego that big”?
I didn’t hesitate to reply! 💪
Does this mean I’m starting to make it? 👀
You can watch my video response here: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdoSyRMV/
To the person who just joined my premium OnlyFans, thank you! 💪
I work hard at my writing and modeling.
I work hard at being a content creator.
And the reward is people enjoying my work!
It’s also nice to be able to pay a bill or feed my belly!
Many people around me don’t support me because they think this work comes easy but it doesn’t.
I’m not just standing in front of a camera.
I’m also a natural model and poet, 2 extremely hard fields to get noticed in!
So when someone joins my OnlyFans and tells me that they are a fan of my writing, it means a lot to me. Writing is in my core!
Nude modeling is helping me grow as a human being and photographer.
I get to explore my sensuality on film.
I get to share being a human with you and what it’s like to experience things through my body and my eyes.
Your feedback literally fuels me.
There are many people who have tried to shame me for what I do.
I’m not ashamed.
As you can see, I am still understanding my lessons as a woman and what it really means to be alive! I think my growth as an artist shows! I’m not talking about monetary gain.
I’m learning to be okay in THIS body without any botox or plastic surgery! And with gravity playing its part.
Sure my boobs are saggy but I don’t want boulders that and sit there and never move!
Boring!!!
Jiggle wiggle!
I prefer movement! The universe is made of energy!
And, I’m not removing my sex organs to put plastic where I won’t feel sensation anymore, where I lose sensation and I’m even more desensitized to the world and detached from being an actual human being, no thanks
That’s what the 1% want
I just wanna do my art man
I’m not a cash cow and I don’t milk the people who walk through my door
I always get really scared when someone joins my OnlyFans because I get nervous and think they are going to body shame me like the real ones have done
Anyway, I just want to say thanks!
It makes me feel good good!
More content incoming, as long as I am breathing! You inspire me! 🥰
I love you!!
www.onlyfans.com/poeeternal (premium)
apple.news/AHLyFHrp_Qqe3VdTdxREKjA
I predicted this. Next it will be made mandatory for all veterans.
People were becoming too self-reliant and too healthy and now they’ve made sure that the medical system can continue making money because India sure makes a lot of money off of us being sick and Big Pharma too and India is the number one manufacturer of drugs and vaccines in the world!!
In fact, we give the foreigners incentives to come over here and study 4 subjects including science and tech and then we give them the jobs here in America instead of the Americans!
Bush made sure with the Post 9/11 Signing Statements that we have no rights.
We have no voice.
It’s no longer “for the people”.
Globalism and advertising are ruining the world.
You install any app and you don’t read the permissions. You let strangers spy on you.
You allow them to track and control us through advertising.
Wake the fuck up!!
He said he wants to dig deep
Experience life behind the angel’s wing
Far from heaven’s keep
Beneath the iron swing
Where the stars can’t breathe
You’re the reason I jumped into this timeline
Careful what you wish for
Cuz it won’t come around no more
He’s sitting on a pot of gold
Or maybe hinting on impossible
He hangs it on a line for me
Like his dream’s a possibility
He wants us broken from our roots
Then we are wild and loose
He’s like a sudden eruption
And the one thing I am always wanting
You’re like hiking a new terrain
A secret I can’t contain
You are the wind but never rain
You move with freedom where I see chain
I keep calling
Fickle and thorny
Under moon and mourning
I didn’t mean to follow
But the lines were yellow
And the cries so hollow
The flags were screaming hello
160 miles to the end of the world
To the end of the world
You were never friend
You were never foe
Light you only bend
Into something unknown
Stars can’t comprehend
What they’re never shown
My endings must be your first steps
It may be Iceland
But he is midnight sun
He’s got the world to burn
There’s poison in the water
Radiation leaking from the towers
There’s too many now in power
We are slaves at every hour
Liberty, please free me
Your book got stained
By tears of an angel
Maybe mangled
Hollowed and chained
Hello, where are you?
I want
I want to be
I want to be your hotel
I want to be your gal, your hotel
I want you endlessly, with no sleep
And when the sun should rise
So to my dreams
Look at how time pulls him
To the center of my being
He is swinging from creation
To bring me everything
I buried your book today
Six feet betrayed
Pages burned with the rage
Torn and decayed
I spit on the grave
So that’s the price you pay
I’m always awake
Dreams never come
I’ve stood atop of sorrow
Cried for all they’ve done
You’re a loser but you get to lose last
He was a stream she followed into a river that flew from November
And everything she couldn’t remember
Frozen along a seaside where all condemned her
A mirage getting nearer
He’s like a long lost love ripe from the vine
Picked from the hands of time
He’s the fresh air filtered from hope
A twisted tongue untangled from rope
A fixed hole in her boat
We need to be more stronger in our courage than our fear
The mood is morbid
More dark awarded
Where do days go wasted
Dying in the dunes
So many words we hasted
Watching how light communes
I ripped it right from the spine
I never even read a line
A place for two
Fit for me or you
With just a tiny view
Enough to kill the blue
I want to earn
So I can spend
Bred to consume
Until the end
Not born with spoon
But fed with sand
Give me more doom
‘Til world can’t stand
We’ve only ever seen ourselves in reflections or pictures
Double dirty mirrors
They sell us any sin by preaching the holy scriptures
Watching how light flickers
But they all have the same figures
Endless filthy triggers
And the devils’ are getting richer
Oh to be a sunflower instead the weeping willow
He doesn’t mind if I’m awake or doped
Love’s the cure no matter the diagnose
He’s definitely not the hero
With a population zero
Did you ever care your dreams were stitched to mine?
And choice was chosen farther back in time?
An older view but a heart of gold
Maybe reckless
But I’m dying young
I can feel him tugging like the tide
In between serendipity
There’s nothing we won’t try
I want you to come first
How earth is spinning
You should feel thirst
He’s gone but then he’s back
He’s super focused, then off track
I think it’s over when that ain’t fact
It’s never excitement we ever lack
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
If you dig my content, you can show your support by becoming a patron and gain exclusive rewards and perks in return: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
For cosplay, booty modeling, and full nude photography, subscribe to my OnlyFans for exclusive content! There is never PPV and I respond to every direct message! I give ratings upon request (and by tip only)! Check out my campaign here: https://www.onlyfans.com/poeeternal
Or, if you’d rather drop a one time donation, or a donation in general, my LinkTreeincludes links to my CashApp and PayPal and I am truly grateful for any tips or donations! https://linktr.ee/poeeternal
I recently started a new (free) OnlyFans where I can post my casual and taboo content in a relaxed environment, feel free to subscribe and say hello! www.onlyfans.com/poeeternal2
My LinkTree also has other hookups on the web where you can find me, like my TikTok and Twitch channels!
Keep up with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/
I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: https://www.twitter.com/poeeternal
I dropped a little set on my OnlyFans tonight 👀
I’m also running some door specials!
Please don’t hesitate to ever reach out if you ever have questions about my OnlyFans!
www.onlyfans.com/poeeternal (premium)
www.onlyfans.com/poeeternal2 (free)
Thank you for checking out my work and for supporting independent artists! ❤️
Hellos!!!
You’ve been with me for a minute!
I am truly grateful for your support out there!
I am updating my Patreon campaign, revamping tiers, and adding new ones!
I just added a donation tier, which allows the pledger to contribute without the need of reward, but each pledge allows my blog to run advertisement free and keeps the content incoming! It’s a great way to support my blog or my work! ❤️
I appreciate each and every pledge! 💪
Soon, I will be turning my campaign 18+ and adding a digital nude cosplay tier. My goal is to also add a print tier (but that tier will be further down the road as I still need an updated printer to go with my Kodak film supplies). But being able to add a physical merch tier will be a stepping stone, we’ll see how it goes.
More changes coming to my Patreon!
My blog will be getting a makeover as well!
Everything is undergoing changes!
You can check out my Patreon campaign here: www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Thank you for sticking by me! 👍
If you dig my content, you can show your support by becoming a patron and gain exclusive rewards and perks in return at Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
For cosplay, booty modeling, and full nude photography, subscribe to my OnlyFans for exclusive content! There is never any PPV ever and I respond to every direct message! I even give ratings upon requests (and by tip only)! Check out my campaign: https://www.onlyfans.com/poeeternal
Or, if you’d rather drop a one time donation, or a donation in general, my LinkTree includes links to my CashApp and PayPal and I am truly grateful for any tips or donations! https://linktr.ee/poeeternal
My LinkTree also has other hookups on the web where you can find me, like my TikTok and Twitch channels!
I recently started a new (free) OnlyFans where I can post my casual and taboo content in a relaxed environment, feel free to subscribe and say hello! www.onlyfans.com/poeeternal2
Keep up with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/
I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: https://www.twitter.com/poeeternal
He makes the rain come
Gives color the rainbow
He puts the night aglow
Gives hope a halo
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
Y’all, I have nearly died on him and he hasn’t ghosted me yet.
I went from young and wistful to 94 years old and knocking on my grave overnight and that still hasn’t pushed him away.
He’s still into me half-dead
And I’ve shared weird thoughts and had innocent embarrassing moments and like… he ain’t gone.
I know I live in a land of fantasy but he gives my sky color
I don’t even like the real world
I went to the park today at high noon, and spent the afternoon with a wild, sable duck grooming himself, eating, yawning, and napping. I saw a duck yawn. I never knew I needed to see that until I saw. 👇
So if you ever wondered what you’d find at the end of the rainbow, it’s this. ❤️
If you dig my content, you can show your support by becoming a patron and gain exclusive rewards and perks in return at Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
For cosplay, booty modeling, and full nude photography, subscribe to my OnlyFans for exclusive content! There is never any PPV ever and I respond to every direct message! I even give ratings upon requests (and by tip only)! Check out my campaign: https://www.onlyfans.com/poeeternal
Or, if you’d rather drop a one time donation, or a donation in general, my LinkTree includes links to my CashApp and PayPal and I am truly grateful for any tips or donations! https://linktr.ee/poeeternal
My LinkTree also has other hookups on the web where you can find me, like my TikTok and Twitch channels!
I recently started a new (free) OnlyFans where I can post my casual and taboo content in a relaxed environment, feel free to subscribe and say hello! www.onlyfans.com/poeeternal2
Keep up with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/
I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: https://www.twitter.com/poeeternal
Angel wings form
When you arrive on sunbeam
With honeydew and whisperings
Sweet sacred offerings
The sky is brim with hope
When you are sparkling
Entering night with the light you bring
The wind is an angel gasping
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
So I thought I had lost him forever
I thought he was gone
And it feels like drifting out into the ocean alone
Or deep space
But then he comes crashing onto shore
And I find myself stranded in his dreams
He gives me the big feels 👀
He hasn’t ghosted me 🤨
I was preparing for the big sleep 😩
I bought a box of dye so I’m gonna color my roots
I said I was going to stop killing my locks with chemicals
But you know it’s the end of the world and I want to look my best while crying
He gives me life
I saw him one day peering through the fog as if the devil himself had parted a clearing
The sky was blue dream that tasted on my tongue like cherry spring
But he is crystal in my lung
Sharp without concern
Like lightning on a string
He don’t feel a thing
Was it revelation then or scorn?
Does he regret that I was born?
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
I thought that he was saving me from a miserable naked death on the street but he was just a sign post leading the way
Thanks to everyone showing my free OnlyFans some love by subscribing to it! It’s highly encouraging!
👇👇👇
https://onlyfans.com/poeeternal2
I’ve opened up the DM’s for chat 🥰
I really hope I feel good enough to hit the city and beach soon and go live to show you the ocean and things that inspire me 😊
Because I do have the ability to go live and currently have 14 subscribers to my OF! 😊
Just yesterday I got a new subscriber there too! ☺️
My OF is slowly growing!
I want to go live but I’ve literally been on bedrest!
The content has been lacking but the growth has kept me breathing! 🤪
I love Florida and I’m missing out on summer 😫
I love the weather here tho
And the parks and the city life
The nightlife
The park and beach life
I would love to show you my city
It’s so encouraging to have your support
You can scan this QR code to visit my OF profile page
I’m grateful for my blog readers too! 🥰
I appreciate my viewers everywhere!
Even my TikTok channel is getting attention, just yesterday I got a new follower and some love on my videos!
It feels good because I don’t pay for it and it comes naturally, it’s natural growth.
I have lost followers that I didn’t want to lose simply because I couldn’t give them my time or energy.
So, I’m appreciating my growth, and I’m keeping my eyes forward.
I don’t want to look in my rearview.
I also appreciate all the feedback my latest Instagram post is getting! I dropped a small set for my premium OnlyFans and this photo came from that set!
I’ve been very nervous to share any body positive images because I haven’t been able to keep up with my fitness but I have been able to keep up with my diet!
I’ve been eating very healthy (mostly)!
And I was really grateful to get my heart monitor removed July 29th, that boosted my self-esteem significantly.
I’m still hurting but no longer look 80.
I was able to finally take a bath where I could submerge myself or a shower where I could fully submerge myself.
That alone will boost your self-esteem
There’s nothing a bath won’t cure 👀
I’m dying but people still love my ass 🤪
Thank you!!!
Your comments on my Insta post are super encouraging!
Your subscriptions to my OF are encouraging!
My blog views and followers continue to increase, despite a loss here and there!
Thank you for following me!!
Thank you for your subscriptions, thank you for your donations, thank you for your tips, thank you for your comments, your likes, your views, your love! 🤩
Coming back to life!!
Appreciate your patience with me as my heart and lung heals! 💞
Coming back to life potentially 👀
But not really because I still can’t do anything 👀
But now I know why 👀
I gotta get back to the doc and ask the big questions like: “will I need a procedure to get rid of the fluid in my sac, will it go away on its own, what is my life expectancy now, am I going to have an aneurysm any moment, is it gonna go to my brain, can you please get this shit out of my heart, am I going to die prematurely” 👀
You know, the shit you don’t discuss during a phone call but face to face 👀
This fluid is like a ticking time bomb and at any moment it could just explode in my fucking heart so I don’t like putting my heart under any kind of stress, it doesn’t want to do anything but eat, sleep, and possibly procreate 👀
Dying and all I can think about is doing the dirty 👀
And cake 👀
Treats and fucking because every day is Halloween 👀
Or maybe I just never grew up 👀
Heyyyyy it’s my birthday month
It’d sure be cool to have some birthday cake!!!
And to be honest, I’d like this cake from the Publix bakery 👀
It’d be really cool if I didn’t have to make my own box cake this year 👀
I don’t even know if I had a birthday last year 👀
This pandemic has been hell
So cake from anywhere would be cool – I’d even be happy with a cake from a box so long as I didn’t have to bake it myself 👀
That Chantilly cake is really good, I’d almost die eating it 👀
I don’t have parents or people to give me cake on special events 👀
Maybe I’m not special 👀
But I’m still alive and I want cake 👀
CAKE
So if you were wondering my birthday is on the 19th
of August
Which is coming soon 🤓
I hope I can eat cake before then because this entire month is my birthday as far as I’m concerned 👀
CAKE – it’s absolutely the meaning to life 😎
And thanks for showing my new Instagram post so much love! It’s already got a bunch of likes and views! I appreciate the love! 💪
I got my heart monitor removed on July 29th (a few days ago) and it will be a few weeks before I get the results back!
I still can’t workout but I am trying to get my bike fixed.
Anybody feel like buying me a bike from Walmart pick up? 👀
It would not hurt my feelings to get a working bike for my birthday (the cheapest thing they got) 👀
A bike to ride or cake to eat give me things to live for 👀
Living in general is expensive so I just hope cake and recreation is nearby 👀
At least my expensive ass rent is paid but there’s a crack above my head on the ceiling and this is the same material used as that building in Miami 👀
I also live near the beach, not on the beach but near 👀
It’s an older building 👀
There’s a lot of safety features that don’t work like the front gate and the alarm systems are always going off but they just painted the building 👀
We just had another annual rent increase directly after a tiny COLA adjustment 👀
The government gave me a tiny pay raise but they took it back in my rent immediately two weeks after with a note on my door about my rent increase 👀
Like clockwork 👀
I mean it’s like we’re going through segregation issues again but this time for vaccinated and unvaccinated
Civilians are going to be the only ones left to hold down the fort because anybody with a government job has been mandated
It’s only a matter of time before they require all veterans to get vaccinated
But I ain’t getting no booster shots
Or any vaccine ever again
No flu shot
Nothing
And I don’t know why people want to chop my head off when I tell them that
I haven’t even recovered from the Moderna vaccine’s
It was only a few days ago my doctor told me my lung was fucked up
Breathing do be hurting
👀
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMd7yxjJ4/
Guess I won’t be going to this restaurant in California 👆
I just think the whole fearmongering against vaccinated people is a bit extreme 👀
What timeline is this? 👀
You fear the vaccinated? 👀
Shouldn’t you be aiming towards lawmakers? 👀
I iz confused
Are they flat earthers? 👀
The ones who fear the vaccinated? 👀
I mean, where’s the restaurant for “miracle to still be alive” 👀
I need a shirt that reads: “I survived Moderna” 👀
But I haven’t fully recovered
I mean I got a clot in my heart and a left lung that’s not even fucking inflating 👀
Where’s the restaurant for, “nearly died a mysterious death” and is Edgar Allan Poe themed (with a little corner stage for spoken word)
How the fuck do you even prove that you are unvaccinated 👀
Welp. Won’t be going there 👀
apple.news/Aoge5hAWuQvuKCd6rANDuPw
It’s kind of scary how precise and accurate I seem to always be but they are starting to make vaccines mandatory at the VA at least for the healthcare workers and then next it’ll be the soldiers, won’t it… 👀
But I ain’t gonna get any goddamn booster shots 👀
Y’all wtf 👀
“It’s called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it” George Carlin
I love (sarcasm) how all these jobs are starting to offer tuition as incentive to go back to work yet the hiring freezes have kept those with college degrees out of work for quite some time
Also, programs out there are hiring immigrants directly after college instead of citizens born here and fresh out of college
They also give immigrants incentives for majoring in certain studies like math, tech, and science 👀
Over 160,000 newly graduated American students wasn’t able to get a job but those immigrants could and did 👀
I tell no lies and have been sharing news articles on my blog frequently that you should take time to read 💪
It goes over all this better than I do
America is great for anybody who isn’t an actual American
I realize some of y’all are in some nice financial bubbles but you really need to take a look at what’s going on in America to Americans who have been living here their entire life and they are worked to death until they die without any benefits from these jobs or corporations, no health benefits, no health insurance, not even proper work breaks
No way to even save a penny or dime because many of us are forced to rent and they control the housing market prices and have inflated it
It’s hard for families to even buy a home and it’s even harder for single people to live in America
Most of us are checking out
Most of us no longer have the will or the energy to work for these businesses without any incentives or pay raises and if their incentive is to give you $500 sign on bonus and to pay for your tuition, it’s fucking bullshit because you’re just gonna turn around and deal with hiring freezes like the rest of the population who actually have a college degree already and experience and student loans we’re paying for 👀
I was five years away from retiring before they started doing all the government hiring freezes 👀
The Recession has gone on longer than The Great Depression 👀
Our veterans (me included) are treated like shit
They also come after our pensions
Lots of folks who do retire have to continue working just to pay the bills 👀
Laws are being made to benefit non Americans 👀
Globalism is ruining everything 👀
And other countries know how to skate between the tariffs
America equals generica
If you don’t understand what that means you need to start googling and educating yourself about the economy because if you were born here life probably isn’t very good for you right now but if you’re an immigrant or you have a green card or something you’re probably doing all right 👀
Stay woke
Can we start making laws to protect Americans? 👀
I mean buildings are falling down in Miami but boy they’re rich now and they know they don’t have to do anything about anything because the insurance will take care of it
The game is rigged 👀
They’re literally reading our private emails for suggestive selling – so they can PUSH advertising out to manipulate you to SPEND YOUR MONEY because taking your money is ALL they care about! You’re just a dollar sign!!
And analyzing our photos and private messages uggggg
They sell it to third parties
Is this why Spectrum harasses my mailbox daily to use their services? I will go offline before I ever submit. I’ve opted out of Spectrum but they still spam my mailbox.
So do the “your extended warranty is about to expire”
FYI, I turned Siri off.
I prefer my privacy over mind control.
I don’t need people telling me what to buy 24 hours a day of my life
WAKE UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND TURN OFF AD TRACKING EVERYWHERE
Please give the post a like if this has helped you get some of your privacy back!
Spread the word!
I’m not missing out on life by saying no to tracking
You’re giving the bogeyman permission to track you and you don’t know how honest these trackers are!!!!
Stay woke!!!
Yahoo has a bunch of advertisement settings including this “sale my personal information” that was selected to yes without my permission
I never authorized this when I first started using Yahoo but they snuck in a lot of updates that you need to go check out. This was automatically selected as “yes” until I just discovered it and turned it off.
I don’t believe companies or apps should be allowed to choose yes for you when they include an update…
Most advertising is spam and just a way to control you.
Stay woke and turn off your advert settings everywhere! They are spying on you!!!! You don’t need adverts telling you what to buy!!! Wake up!!!!
Tell your friends!!
There are a bunch of settings regarding your privacy and advertising!!
Turn it off!!!
Are you a vast void?
Or a continent overjoyed?
Are you an asteroid?
On a path of love destroyed?
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
Ready for my mysterious death
Might still get it with this clot lurking in my heart and a left lung not fully inflating
Explains why it hurts to breathe 😑
However, new fear unlocked: Aneurysms
Thanks for checking out my new TikTok! I really want to make more spoken word videos and I can record for 3 minutes now!
Been digging through poetry I’ve written in the last few years, just gonna start dropping them with or without views
I’m dying and my heart can give in any minute 😑
And I no longer have a levee for support
They’re all gone 😑
Other than in voting and jury duty, our government routinely treats aliens as equal to citizens; both are guaranteed fair trials and freedom of speech, for instance, and that’s appropriate.
— Read on cis.org/North/Four-Situations-Which-Aliens-Are-Treated-Better-Citizens
Still can’t get past the fact that only 4% of India has been vaccinated 👀
👇👇👇
Stop the vaccine fearmongering in the US
India Is the number one manufacturer of vaccines and yet their government under ordered vaccines five days before their vaccine drive
Thus, after all this pandemic time, only 4% of India has been vaccinated
That’s a huge red flag
India is making so much money off of sick people aren’t they
And off of pushing the vaccines on everyone else
Over 2.7 million live here in the US –
https://www.migrationpolicy.org/article/indian-immigrants-united-states-2019
I’ve worked for a few Indian owners here in the US and they worked us just like slaves, they paid us the least and worked us the most – but just not enough hours to get the work benefits like insurance and things
Globalism has ruined America
I mean the American dream is great for anyone who isn’t an actual American
👀
There’s never a dull day here in Florida! Thanks for watching my new TikTok! It already has over 500 views in just 17 hours!!! Cool!! 😎
Over 500 views in 17 hours! 👀
It also got some love!! ❤️
Thank you!
It’s like there’s information missing that I cannot gather
Information near but I’m all out of matter
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
Black hole vs reality
Ogle eyes nailed it
Oof
Had to find my way around an accident
The car is tore up from the floor up 👀
But I wasn’t about to turn back
Used my critical thinking skills to maneuver around
👇👇👇
Where do you flee
We’ve fallen on the great hush
Now it’s getting clear to see
I don’t make your pulse rush
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
apple.news/Ajol6pigMRXyZOckRR4UJVQ
Gonna say it again, globalism has ruined America
“The American dream, gotta be asleep to believe it” – George Carlin
My doc just called and she told me that there is some fluid in the sac of my heart and she said it could be from the virus or something else (perhaps a blood clot) but she also said my lung looks like it’s having a hard time expanding on the left side and I told her I was having difficulty breathing and she is still waiting the results back for some tests but my heart and my lung is damaged
We haven’t discussed surgery yet but I imagine it’s a possibility if they need to remove the fluid buildup in my heart
But I have hope now because I’ve had a change in the intensity of the pain levels but I’m not in the clear yet and I’ve got this heart monitor strapped on me until July 29!
I also told my doctor that I didn’t really want to get the stress tests but that I would likely do the exercise one but I don’t know that I want to do the one where they pump you full of chemicals because I’m already in this mess because they pumped me full of chemicals and she did not fuss at me
So there’s that
🤓
I would just like to add, the only time I came in contact with the COVID-19 virus, was when I received both the Moderna vaccines
So just to sum things up, my heart and left lung were damaged receiving the Moderna vaccines
I nearly died getting the vaccines
I still could die
I believe it’s a miracle I still am alive
Are you a safety mirage?
Should I lay down a barrage?
Is there a chance to get caught?
Is that what heaven besought?
Are you someone I can feel?
Is this fantasy for real?
Are you fate or just thrill?
Is this why hell has stood still?
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
I’m so deprived and devoid of life, that even if he was a predator, I’d let him eat me! 😩
Or, maybe that’s just suicidal, welp 😩
Helps 😑
He said it’s just fantasy and they all tire of me quickly
Most take one look and run! 😫
I wish the need didn’t feel so real
I need him like air 👀
*dies on street* 😩
Thanks for supporting my blog, OnlyFans, and Patreon! My blog recently hit 80K! You’re the reason I keep going! 💪💪
Once I get back on my feet, I’m gonna be turning my Patreon 18+ and adding a nude tier and making changes to my current tiers! My blog will be getting updated as well! And it’ll feel good to start pushing content and cosplay to my OnlyFans! Thanks for sticking around!
Hello from the sunshine state 🌤☀️🌤
It’s starting to feel like I can get back to life soon
My heart has a lot of recovery left to do
I’m still wearing a heart monitor
But it gets removed soon
Thanks for sticking by me through the waves
The Serum Institute began mass-producing COVID vaccines even before approval. They’ve made millions of doses. But so far only about 4% of people in India are fully vaccinated. What went wrong?
— Read on www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2021/06/29/1011022472/india-is-the-worlds-biggest-vaccine-maker-yet-only-4-of-indians-are-vaccinated
Familiar
In dream or filter
In scream or whisper
Deja vu his figure
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
Did we meet in another timeline? Have I been here before?
Is your shadow a stranger? Why do I know you?
Looks like I’ve been here before yet I don’t know this place?
String theory, I’m connected to you 👀
Yep, believe in the multi-verse
Not the Big Bang
Got to go! Mental health appointment! Depressed!
And, I love you? 👀
I am never the main attraction
Just a sideline of all I’m lacking
Hopeless refraction
The foundation cracking
On death keep tapping
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
Depression and loneliness, my onlyness
The hopelessness 😩
As scary as it is, wish the heart would give…
Literally only alive to pay bills 👀
They’re starting to put restrictions on unvaccinated people, no entry mandates
Told you
So let’s just not go
Over 40% of the unvaccinated US population hold so much power currently
Don’t let them fearmonger you
Your body, your choice!
If we’re doing all this simply to have electricity, well I’m ready to live without it honey
Solar
I’m vaccinated but I still could get somebody sick and I got hit with heart inflammation because they chose to not let the population know that it was causing heart damage and people have died from it and people have gotten hurt from it and they have silenced and shunned us from communicating and letting you know because they turned this vaccine into peer pressure and big brother is illuminati owned
They may not be knocking down your door like Hitler, but it’s the same thing with mandates
I’m sure there’s someone else who could do a better job of telling you what it is I’m about to tell you but I need you to listen and hear 💪
I’ve turned off ad tracking on every app I’m currently on and in the system of my iPhone itself
I’m no longer on android because you cannot uninstall Facebook from the device itself and big bro has penalized me and took away my freedom of speech so I no longer support android
Mark Zuckerberg is starting to have way too much control with his little social media mind control game (both Biden and Trump say the aps are toxic)
I’m making it extremely hard for them to track me through ads and I am not giving them permission to do so
It’s getting ridiculous and clear that ads infringe on our privacy and rights and most everyone seems cool with it
Yet most of the ads that we do find on Facebook, Instagram, or even TikTok or Twitter are spam and people are coming on saying it’s spam so I’m sure it’s somebody from India who has learned how to trick the account and use us to get our money.
Most of the ads are spam and junk
I am not such a consumer where I’m having a conversation with someone on Twitter and then head to Instagram and there’s an ad pop up for what we were just talking about. I don’t need that sort of control in my life.
I can make decisions of what I want to buy on my own
They are using ads to manipulate us and legally spy on us
Well I’m making it hard for them to legally spy on me and that’s why I’m turning off all those things and I’ll just stop using the app if enforced
Instagram has sneaked in a bunch of new updates so go check out your settings – on Twitter and FB too (I’m sure any app you are using, I’ve downsized)
I had to unselect a bunch of ad stuff that they sneaked in and was already activated – I unselected the ad choice options on Instagram and they sneak in updates like this all the time
Instagram, Facebook and Twitter are so toxic and both Trump and Biden are calling Facebook toxic and Big Bro (Mark Zuckerberg Illuminati owned) is butt hurt over these accusations
Good
Let’s start boycotting these corporations who micromanage our every move and even what we’re allowed to post or say
At least turn off the ad tracking – you could start there.
They will still bombard you with the same amount of ads but they’re not gonna be able to track what you do and say even though they will still be tracking it illegally but you’ve not given them permission to do so on the apps and on your phone…
Anybody can make an ad and track you
You’re giving hackers, spammers, thefts, the boogeyman access to track you
What’s the point in having all that security in your home if you’re just gonna give them a Birdseye view from your devices?
Do you really need to be eye raped by that ad that’s probably likely spam which is why there’s a ton of people who fell for it and they’re leaving comments about how it’s spam, they never got the item, or it doesn’t work or blah blah blah
If you see an ad where comments are turned off, beware.
Ads are red flags
Why are you giving them permission to be in your phone? Have you actually read what it means, have you gone under Twitter and read what permissions you’re giving them to track you with?
When has an ad changed your life?
Turn if off
So if you need help finding anything just reach out to me and I’ll do my best to help you or to help you find the answer
I recently switched to an iPhone for the first time after being a Samsung/Android user and reason number 1 was the fact that you cannot uninstall the Facebook application from the device
Woah 👎👎
But I’m also finding that there’s been a lot of security threats all around with the safety of phones in general
This was a fairly scary article to read but wasn’t shocking that the attacks are coming from the Middle East / Asia) 🙄
👇
https://apple.news/Am4vSMkOiQWa_9RaKjx55iA
There are a lot of people out there that doesn’t have the IQ or intelligence that we have or the critical thinking skills so they’re being manipulated and taken from their money and it’s not a positive experience for them and it’s young people and old people and middle-age people, they know how to use words and steal identity or money
Please turn off ad tracking everywhere, you are legally letting hackers spy on you through ad campaigns
It’s really scary if I’m honest
These ads are tracking and manipulating our children, not just us
What’s the point of even locking your doors at night when we’re letting the bogeyman spy on us through ad tracking?
But can we please stop having them spam us, turn the ads off please, for the love of God, turn the ad tracking off!!!!
*takes a deep breath*
I am an American soldier and I am trying to protect the American way of life, which is completely under threat right now
Please wake up
And turn off ad tracking everywhere
Safety first
You’re letting strangers track you through ads
Turn it off, tell your friends
I love you
Haven’t even brushed my tooths yet – just thought you should be aware of how dangerous ad tracking really is because nobody’s telling you or talking about it
And I was trained in the army that safety is everybody’s job and it’s everybody’s place to let people know when there’s a safety issue so knock knock, safety issue, turn your ad tracking off
You don’t need it, I promise you
And go help your mom turn their ad tracking off and help your children and your friends, spread the word, let’s make it difficult for these assholes to spam us, spy on us, take our money, give us bad days
Appreciate everyone out there still supporting my Patreon and my OnlyFans! I’m hopeful I can get back at it soon!
My blog hit 81,000 views, and I don’t take that for granted at all!
Thank you for reading my poetry, rants, and my prose!
I appreciate you all so much!
I look terrible but kisses to you!
🤓
My heart is starting to feel better
I’m starting to think the reason it was hurting so bad is because my heart was welding itself with electrical charges to heal itself
That’s why I would experience sharp prolonged flashes of pain followed by intense burning
And I still feel flashes of charges but with way less intensity
The constant pulling and tightness in my chest has also decreased, perhaps this means less swelling
I can still feel my heart is damaged and I’m still experiencing lethargy but my blood pressure dropping has decreased and my BP is starting to normalize again
I do still feel cold from time to time but nowhere like before
The plot to my grave has a bit more distance now
Maybe put your obituaries away 🤔
I hope I can get back to fitness and life soon
Thank you for your get wells and prayers! ❤️
Love in secret
Like walking on the moon
Elated; but we won’t speak it
Tongue too swoon
What words befit?
Tell me high noon
Put them in orbit!
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
Uhm, he’s not bored of me yet and my double pigtails are getting long – I’ve also found that I’m treated nicer by everyone when I’m wearing them
I was taking up all the space at the grocery store today and I didn’t get yelled at not once, nor snickered at or rudely cursed.
Grandpa was extra nice
The lady shopper was nervously fidgeting with her short hair
The cashier accurately predicted I met my budget
And the young bagger did the best bag job I’ve ever had
I think I’m in a different timeline 👀
If I stop following you and you block me, that’s okay.
I’m not gonna block you back.
I don’t even want to remember your fake ass username or how terrible of a person you really are.
The same people who punish me for getting sick for getting vaccinated are the same kind of people who would’ve locked me on the bottom of the Titanic and watched it sink in boats that could’ve held more people.
Instead of people wishing me get wells, I get ignored, unfollowed, or blocked.
“Everybody gone mad / everybody dog food” – Michael Jackson
I have underlining health issues like a lot of Americans and this vaccine could actually hurt them like it did me or all the teens and youths’s
The CDC and Big Pharma should have placed warnings in the beginning when they knew the risks but kept them from us
End of!
For the record, my heart swelled up, heart tissue got damaged, I was in a lot of pain.
I’m just now getting to a point where I’m not feeling agonizing pain on the daily.
I’ve already had multiple tests done on my heart, and I still have two stress tests pending that I don’t even want to do.
My heart has been under enough stress, thank you.
And the guys who come and go from my life virtually are no different from the guys who came and went in my life in my real world and they always did me dirty no matter how good of a fucking girlfriend I was to them (or friend), no matter how good of a sexual partner I was to them, no matter how well of a financial partner I was to them or how I supported them it was always the opposite for me and very degrading, every relationship was very very degrading because apparently most everybody is a fucking narcissist and all they care is about is using others to get ahead, friends, family, co-workers, they spare no one!
But I’m supposed to feel bad that they’re gone 🙄
It’s my fault, when people are bad to me 🙄
I deserve to be punished 🙄
I’ve had dudes break up with me because my tits weren’t fake 🙄
I grew up in a society where they shamed mother bodies
But now you can watch women breast-feeding on Twitter in a sexualized manner 🙄
Whereas, I would’ve had eggs thrown at me if I had ever breast-fed in public 🤨
Fuck y’all
apple.news/AWlh1gFyTQMaAiaYKeV81Ow
Oh look, another President who thinks social media, specifically Facebook, is toxic. Concur.
Can we all live off grid now? 🤨
I take a clue then cut it into pieces
I make a square just to see how it will fit
I am a pupil and adapt to what he teaches
But there’s no lessons for me ever to submit
I watch to see how space and time increases
And if there’s information that I should omit
I’ll spin in circles until my breathing wheezes
I guess we’ll find that I’m just illiterate
😫
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
This was not the direction I was wanting the poem to go at all but the truth is living with a brain injury gets very confusing and I can take conversation to the left field in no time and I often feel aloof and lost because sometimes I’ll just completely forget what we were even talking about while we are talking… 👀
I think I’m dumb
Like that Nirvana song 👀
Completely put together vs completely torn apart in a matter of seconds
Imagine standing in front of a classroom and being the instructor but then having to ask the class what we were talking about 👀
Now put it in a smaller setting and add anxiety and people 👀
Or, talking to your crush and acting a proper idiot, I’ve done them all 👀
No officer, not high, just stupid 👀
It’s embarrassing being so dumb 👀
And the doctors don’t seem to understand that being a writer who can’t spell is a problem for me 👀
And it’s not that I can’t spell, it’s that I can’t even form words or remember names, it’s all these things 👀
I tell them I’m losing my mind but you know, I don’t think people can hear me at all 👀
Most people make me cry when I act stupid but not him 👀
The way he deals with my stupidness and my insecurities makes me want to do the naughties instead of cry 👀
I like him a lot 👀
Just waiting for him to dump me in the trash the way everybody else does when they’re disappointed with me or annoyed by my inexperience 👀
But sometimes I’m running away because I think he deserves something better than already dying and half dead 👀
Unless you’re into necrophilia, it’s kind of the closest and most legal thing 👀
I have a walking cane and I wear pigtails 👀
Where’s the AA meeting for, “hi, my name is Delia and I identify as young”?
Jim Morrison identified as a lizard, I identify as a kid. 👀
I’m not allowed to act like a kid but I could split my tongue, tattoo my entire body into lizard skin, tattoo my eyeballs, and hiss at people 👀
I’m definitely in the wrong timeline, the doctors don’t understand my level of paranoia 👀
I have guys trying to kidnap me in broad daylight just for being petite and cute 👀
I guess I’ve been asking for it since the day I was born 👀
Can’t even be myself 👀
Okay, it’s 3 am and my favorite time and need the moonshine
Not the alcohol, the Moon!!!!!!
I don’t fucking drink
I’m part of the 1% of the population that is not an alcoholic 👀
Oh hiiii
You’re an asshole driver on the road 👀
*waves*
The glue or whatever they used to attach this monitor to my skin STINKS
Like hospital ass
And it’s right under my nostrils
Hours have gone by and the chemicals are still loud 🤢
Looking forward to the itching that’s to come 😣
I stanks 🥴
This patch be stanky!
These fumes!!!! 🤕
Helps 🤧
My nostrils are burning 👀
Probably gonna place that in my “journal” that I gotta send in – in bold red ink – with a ton of exclamation marks!!!
I also have a weird OCD about things being on my body
Like if a clothing item feels weird, I won’t be able to wear it
Or accessory
Which is why you’ll likely rarely ever see me in a belt, unless I’m in my military uniform, because I literally hate wearing belts or even watches…
Which is probably why you’ve never seen me in either a watch or a belt 👀
I have weird habits 👀
I’m obsessed with shoes but prefer being barefoot (but also hate having dirty feet) 👀
Sharing my darkest secrets 🤪
New goal: live to be an old lady
apple.news/AueKA7yYVTjSeVD2DkESECQ
awe it’s the end of the world y’all (but I think those crazy scientists are messing with bird DNA)
And the young are getting hit the hardest (like covid)
Blind birds – scared out their minds 😑
And, instead of comforting them – destroyed!
Euthanized!
He messaged
From deep space
For touch or embrace
Or hope a second
The way dark lessened
The hope we face
Felt love a trace
A path was blessed then
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
Struggling with purpose a lot right now 👀
Facing mortality way sooner than intended and learning the big lessons
My memaw had 12 children and I feel like I’m not meeting my potential in life 👀
Now that I have heart problems it’s like I have the grim reaper breathing on my back 👀
Or tapping me with one of those thangs you use for chopping weeds 👀
I might need one when I buy some land – if I can remember the name or live long enough 👀
Probably chop my ankle off by accident because I’m prone so probably don’t need one at all 👀
Grim gonna have me spit cleaning his soon 👀
PoeEternal 