Still detoxing. My fuel tank light is on. I’m out of water. I’m on a 5 day undetox and then I’m starting bottle 2 & hitting it hard with the largest doses 3 times a day.
Broke in more ways than one. So God gave me a free year of shopping.
Which is cool, because I’m on a waitlist to get moved, even though I can’t afford any boxes currently.
The Great Void I’ve stood the edge Gave humanity my hand I have tried to help the damned God has licked the wound where bled And I stand near him unfledged
I peer the end All nothingness Not overjoyed Not his to dress
I am the world Though light is love Taste amaroid Like darkness tough
Fell through the rough Found heaven’s grace Have keys to gate No name to face
I’ve stood the still Frame by frame revealed Lost my soul and will Yet God is here….
New shades from the Dollar $1.25 Tree (that’s like a 25% inflation not 7% I think and I suck at math and I’m closer to right than wrong)
You are connected to my purpose
And all my blooms are from the garden you planted and grew
I know you hate love me
The answer to life is, I’m closer to right than wrong… 🤪
I mean, I almost got it right 👀
*hangs upside down*
Helps. Need help moving. For reals.
Also, met a gigantic God-like bug from the dinosaur days a few minutes ago. 🤩
His colors were green and blue 🤩
Or her… probably a her…
You should call her me 🤪
You and God are the only ones I wouldn’t block although I probably do and have blocked God a time or two unknowingly and/or maybe cuz I’m screaming for help/drowning/ am pinching you or some other childish shit.
If you only answered the door… 🤪
I see you keep taking the offering I am leaving at your door
The steps are crumbling where I stumble and/or kick them
The door has a dent…
With drawings to form a smile
You’re still enjoying the homemade biscuits I see…
Probably the only food you get that isn’t poisoned
You suspect it should be
Sometimes hope it is?
Look at this beauty 🤩
Allowed me to get real close. Gonna put some footage on the TikTok. Got some other shots of the side too. Very blue pigment on the eye. It’s eye/ TV monitor was Gigantic and I apologized for putting my lights full on but thanked it for allowing me to film and say hello.
I would have a heart attack if a bug that big landed on me and I need to learn to connect with nature.
I believe animals are sentient creatures and also have life lessons. It’s our duty to be their brother and sister.
Do you get the same pigment blue? The green is pretty too.
Green gets overlooked by the Hollywood devil’s and minions
It’s still out there on my apartment wall…
I’m looking forward to moving where I can have a porch or balcony.
I think the visit from a dinosaur is a sign to relocate – a positive omen or affirmation
The earth is the ether Everything we’ve done laid beneath her
Observation changes outcome But never what I’ve done I’ll never get to hold your son We’ll never get to live as one…
Find someone who wants to love you and let them love you good Don’t do stuff to hurt them and treat them like you should
I can see your shadow Reflecting off the ground I can see your body Though nobody is around
Not all heroes wear a cape Some smiling faces full of ache A soldier’s weapon ain’t his blade Might find him praying in the shade One might grow up but still not age
Discoloration in the grass I know he bled her last
The poet’s hope is a shield of nope
I sleep with knife under pillow One eye on the blade Certifications are dusty I still made the grade!
I knew I would die before I was born I entered life with so much scorn
I obviously wasn’t happy about coming here (why) (what did I know) (remember who you are)
Even mountains crumble God can make a rumble
I sleep with a Glock I keep the safety off
He came down from Orlando Took the bus though Sat by the window?
Not home no more From life to morgue
How do you know me? Been only suffering…
There’s static energy in the air I can still feel it there I can feel it everywhere
English is the language of the Illuminati. Numbers and spells, but their words never haunt me!
If it moves like a snake, it might be sly If it’s blue as a lake, it could be sky…
For me, death was failure and not an option Life not an auction
Still heart was throbbing Lung decomposing
But soul was hoping That he still loved me Forever eternity
We are born without clothing So why call me unholy
How long does it take for a soul to decompose? Could you let my twin flame know?
I want to break out of the zero energy field All the sin you yield
The end is a human construct, time doesn’t exist. Remember this.
A soldier is best dressed with guns and knives; I don’t tell no lies
He came by bus, left by feet Thought he was discreet
They added a third charge. Illegal immigration. And what, now he gets a free home in the US forever paid for by us? No. Off with his head.
They said he sliced their necks open so far he almost decapitated both of them
And now he gets free dental, sunshine, and housing
While the vets are homeless and starving
Like Edgar Allan Poe, who was an officer who died on the fucking street of starvation and hunger
You should’ve seen me storming into the Daytona Beach police station demanding to speak to somebody “with some compassion” because I didn’t want to die on the street like him but they claim it’s just a “federal matter” and “nothing they can do”
Policy China’s social credit system / Hitler’s regime is still in charge
Oops! How did I go from poetry to politics.
I’m a Soldier 24/7 even out of uniform
I see Chess pieces moved that you haven’t considered
Maybe sometimes
But also the math is wrong 🤨
Have you considered a different formula or equation?
One that wasn’t written to fit the illuminati’s reality?
It’s really not fair that the only things I have to eat are poison
Thank you immigrants/naturalized citizens 🙏
I’m so grateful that you’re here
*gets lots of sleep*
I hope I heal up enough I can get back to the range
Now I’m not talking about no fucking kitchen range
The Army taught me to shoot to kill
One shot, one kill
Make it count
Get them in the head
If you can’t get them there, go for the heart
Next, thigh leg
And that even know how to shoot my M-16 turned sideways wearing my gas mask
The army trained me with live grenades so I even know how to toss those motherfuckers
I trained with all the big toys 👀
My drill sergeants fucking loved me because I loved firing my weapon at everything and I hit the targets
Sometimes it would take me five minutes to get the grenade loaded into the gun but whatever once I got firing you know that’s where the magic was
But you’re timed lol
I’m a tomboy
When I’m not a sensitive little angel
There’s two sides to me, like a coin
Toss me, you might get lucky 🍀
The reason I might know things before they happen is because I’ve done this game before and I think that when you level up you get to bring whatever achievements you had before with you
Or maybe I’m just extremely intuitive and really good about reading the environment
That still doesn’t explain how I’ve predicted events that have happened that I had no control over
I don’t know if I’m gonna crawl out of this cave alive
Sometimes I don’t think I matter much but I feel like I would matter more than having an obituary that’s been out for a few days and with still zero comments
Feel free to blow my blog up but in 50 years anybody that knew me will be dead
I love you
Even if I don’t want anything to do with you
I want to ascend
I might not get there this way
But I’m not hanging out in a negativity zone
My energy has been stolen long enough by monsters lurking in the dark
All the gaslighting 👎👎
I ain’t no angel
But I ain’t no monster
Sometimes I screech like one
Sometimes I fantasize about being really fucking evil
But it’s soulless and empty
I was born with a soul
I’m convinced many are without a soul
They were either born without it or they lost it along the way or they didn’t do any good deeds that rewarded them with one while they were here
Your body is autonomous
Your body is a rental
I’m gonna try and return mine with only a few dents and scratches
I’m giving it lots of repairs now
And the love it deserves that it never got
There are two guys in the world who raised my awareness
I don’t want them to wind up like my sister
But that is exactly where they are heading
The singularity
Your energy is precious
You gotta recharge in the sun, feet on ground
The sun isn’t bad for you, sunblock is
The best times to sungaze is during sunrise and sunset
You can bathe in the light and not burn
I discovered something today
Your love feels exactly like the sun
Only I can’t really explain it
You take me back to the source
I can’t put it into words yet
But it’s one and the same
The sun and love
You and I
But I need him too
I don’t even know what my lessons are to learn here because if it’s not giving up on humanity I feel like I mostly have if the only two things I love in the world are illusions
But then isn’t everything?
This is all ego
It’s just a nightmare
When I die, I’ll no longer be
But I’m not convinced I haven’t done this before
I don’t have control over my breathing or my digestion
It’s automatic
We have to learn to use these bodies in these forms
We’re spirits 👀
Maybe there is a big alien octopus out there, I probably would have a heart attack if I met my Creator, I don’t know if I could handle meeting my creator in this form, could you, could you actually handle meeting your creator in this form? well OK but that doesn’t mean that earth needs to be fucking hell
Narcissism is a plague
I don’t wanna catch it 😩
I don’t want to lose my soul
I don’t want to die
My sister was TWO YEARS OLDER
And we were fucking close, I should be losing my fucking mind that my sister died
But I expected it
I knew 👀
And right now I just feel relief that she can’t hurt me anymore so
My dad would understand
But he died last year
I slept on the floor in my office for two or three months after he died
My dad left me a six minute rainbow
And then he rode the great Saturn Jupiter conjunction out of the sky
I wish I could talk to my dad about the Canadian truck drivers protesting because I know he’d be getting a kick out of that and he’d probably be up there himself
He didn’t like my sister either
He only left two people in his will
TWO
I hope somebody out there knows that I’m not exaggerating about dying
You both release chemicals in my heart and brain, which numbs me throughout
An ethereal warmth like the sun
My last breath I’ll be thinking of you
I’m on bedrest anyway
Dreaming is allowed
And, they should have given John a second phone call
It was Thanksgiving
He died on Thanksgiving
Crying now for him but can’t shed a tear for the sister
I ain’t right
Something’s wrong with me
Please help me out of this hole
I don’t wanna die down here
I made mistake 😑
My immune system is compromised and I’m gonna fucking wear my mask when I go out
But I’ve never had a Covid test and I’ll never get a booster shot and I will never get a flu vaccine or any vaccine for that matter ever again
I don’t even know if I’ll ever even want to be closer than 6 feet to a human being 👀
I don’t identify as human
Failing my lesson down here
*sobs*
I knew this was gonna happen
I’ve been saying it all my life that I was either going to die of heart failure or suicide
I need a gun
Because suicide seems less scary and painful than my heart going haywire like it’s done
2 chambers are working
Miracle I’m still alive
You’re better than any drug
Your voice, your face, your existence
Can I haz hugs before I die?
But stay away because I don’t want to get you sick or kill you
I don’t want you to get me sick or kill me
I don’t trust people
I don’t trust food
I don’t trust my doctors
Things are pretty dark
I just wanna stay in the light
I’m so scared
I mostly sleep in sessions during the day
I barely sleep in the night
So very scared
But, tell myself positive mantra
I talk to the things running my body that don’t belong to me
Water can hold a positive or negative charge
So I say positive things when drinking it
My least favorite thing to drink in the world but it’s mostly all I drink now
I tell it “thank you for healing me”
I say things, “oh you like that eh” after I douse it with the good food or drink
And then I say “have some more”
I have never been more hungry in my life but I guess you need a lot of calories when your heart and your lungs are healing ❤️🩹
But beating my sugar addiction has been (I think) worse than a heroin addiction but I don’t know I’ve never done heroin
I beat a Valium addiction once and they do say that’s worse than heroin
John was kicking and screaming in his end too, he wasn’t all smiles
And then I have to have a peptalk with my ovaries every 2 to 3 weeks to “please take it easy on me” on why we’re not currently having babies so I don’t jump off a fucking bridge
And if you need perspective, yes, it happened overnight
I was getting close to 500 likes and within a matter of hours, skyrocketed to the thousands
It’s insane I know
But it was good filming, right spot, right time
Because the universe is mathematical and live long enough the variables will play out
This was good clean pure fun entertainment tho
No money involved
So chill
I work damn hard putting out content, I would love to be able to have the opportunity to go live to bring the zen and the chaos
I enjoy watching people ride their bike on the beach and at some point I’ll probably get me a bike that will fit in my jeep and I’ll take my jeep on the beach but I’m dying
I don’t feel like taking my jeep to the cleaning port afterwards because I want to spend a day on the beach but I’m going to change my perspective about it because I’d probably feel a whole lot safer if I did have my jeep on the beach and then I’d feel like taking a nap too
I don’t want to go to the drive-through to get food anymore because people are toxic and not worth dying for
It sucks though that when I was growing up and serving others I was fucking nice
I had good customer service
This is hell
But yeah, the 10k mark feels good
It wasn’t bought
I earned that bitch
I certainly wasn’t expecting four videos to go viral and to continue to go viral and are still going viral
I never even had a chance to feel what it feels like to climb to the top, it’s like the opposite of gravity, I was just flung there
God felt my despair with the whole wine bottle business
I was like this shit again
I can’t deal
This is madness, what am I here for if I can’t change anything
God: experience
Me: oh
So now I’m still trying to sort it out
But what I really need is for someone to come help me get my master bedroom together
And then my kitchen so that I can start working on developing a better relationship that I have with my kitchen and food that I put in my body
And the lifeguard told me yesterday that I need to spend 30 minutes a day reading the Bible
I need spiritual food he says
And one week away from my phone and the Internet
I said what? I can’t even do an hour…
I can’t shut it off 😩
And then it occurred to me that games have intermissions and that the players get breaks
I can just chill up here at the top for a little bit it’s OK
And for those of you who are still interested in my nude photography, I have medical appointments that are upcoming that I need to get to and to some sort of place where I have the energy and mindset to do it and then I’ll be able to turn subscriptions back on, thank you for your interest in my content
I also want to have a section on my blog that is donate or subscribe only to get the naughty content
Of course, my content isn’t naughty because I don’t really do any kind of dirty work nor do I act like a dirty girl
It’s taboo mostly and nude art photography
And I get to call it art because I put effort in making it sensual seductive sexy playful or whatever mode I’m trying to get across
I’m born to make babies
I was born this way
Stop telling me it’s sinful to have emotions when I have neurons firing 24/7
I think about sex a lot, I’m going to share my sexuality, deal with it
Men have been raping me and sexually hurting me since I was a tiny baby so you don’t get to blame what I’m wearing anymore
You don’t get to blame my personality or my choices
Just let me live and breathe
I don’t have much time left and I’m not doing good with the breathing even when I’m at the beach capturing footage that goes viral
Chill
Walked on water for you
Let me enjoy the summit
There’s no rush down
I’ll probably die trying anyway
Clumsy
Gullible
Prone to making being talked into the wrong choice
I didn’t see it on a TikTok or an Instagram feed (not that I am on Instagram)
Read many of her pages by candlelight in my teens
It didn’t hit me as hard as Betty White
I wasn’t aware I loved Betty the way I do
Probably just numb about Annie still
That’s my go to emotion first, numbness then anger
Sometimes I laugh when people die inappropriately
That’s also a survival defense
But if you dare laugh about how John Jones died, I will personally come to see to your ending
It won’t be fun (not for you anyway) 🤩
Dexter mode activated
Armed and lethal
Hiding from all doctors unless ID
Also, somebody needs to lock me up and keep me from sugar for at least 45 days
I will possibly turn into creatures of the ancient past
Which, humans have been around for a long time
But has it ever occurred to you that maybe there were humans more intelligent than us that have gone extinct
A super computer existed during the pyramids found all over the world (used for electricity)
So did fast food restaurants in Pompeii 🙄
Ronald McDonald
Whatever
I’m not doing earth again
But if the algorithm starts showing pictures of me from 500 years ago, then I expect in 500 years for you to fucking find me (again) and you better get it right this time
Neo did it for love
Love is the anomaly
I love you 💕
(And not to alarm you but it could be any day now my death)
Love forms in the shape of clouds Condensation deep in mother’s bones Fermenting the clay It escapes the deepest hell Rising into towers that I can ride Like my spirit guide But he’s alive…
Another freestyle because he cracked open the lid of my coffin and let some air in (or maybe I opened his) 🤔
I look like shit but I’ve been waxing and plucking and getting ready to glue some stiletto nails on
I don’t wear them long though because I don’t like to mess up my real nails and I’m also claustrophobic and having unnatural things attached to my body makes me very uneasy
When they are glued on (not taped) things inside my body go haywire
I also have really sensitive skin and I can’t wear certain metals because I’m part werewolf and I have an extra lumbar which is the proof that I have a fucking tail
All the doctors love it cuz I’m a pale ass goth queen
It’s cute
I always hear, “uh… did you know that you have…”
And I’m like “yup, part werewolf and vampire” and they always crack up
I don’t need a calendar to know when it’s a full moon because my body will start bruising itself because I start running into everything, that’s how I know the moon is gonna be full, but then I get very wild and also horny 🤪
Animals like mating during a full moon and I concur 🌝
It’s programmed in me to howl at the moon
Some people are like, “eh I’ve seen it a hundred times” and I don’t get that cuz I’m like “100 years isn’t long enough to worship you…”
But I just threw you a curveball because now you don’t know if I’m talking about him or the moon
(He knows I need at least all millennia to worship him and the moon)
Luckily, he digs the moon too (I think)
I don’t actually talk to him or know anything about him, I cannot breathe without him and my lines / breath belong to him
I hope he gets on the TikTok for the spoken word
Here’s numbers to impress, TikTok surpassed Google in the amount of views
Happy to report I contributed to that statistic a tiny bit and anyone who watched my videos 👀
Yup, TikTok had more views than Google
Instagram is still suffering (yay)
You can just upload your videos like you normally do but there’s a cool little feature when you go to edit it you can give your eyes like alien eyes or black them out and do stuff that you normally like to do to hide yourself
And I promise you that I will be viewing your TikTok’s, I will be viewing them and if they sit at zero views it’s because TT is doing something to you, not me
If views are all you care about, it’ll be stressful
But, if you like doing poetry readings for your audience, then you will fair emotionally better making them
At this point I’m happy if my video gets 100 to 200 views and if it gets at least 30 views I like to keep it on my feed and if it sits at zero I cry and sometimes uninstall the app
But Yeti is anxious to get unpacked
And I’m getting my body glammed up best I can as a half living dead girl zombie with rare and elite blood and an extremely amazing half working lung and heart
The US government is fucking cloning me, I just know it
They are using my blood to search for immortality
They tried to knock me out with Big Pharma but Thor pinched me and I jumped into this timeline like a year and a half or so ago to prevent my mysterious death from happening
What? You believe some man from the Middle East actually walked on water. Leave me alone.
I identify as AI
You identify as “born gay”
Deal with it
I ain’t dying on the street (Edgar again “no”)
I have Edgar Allan Poe rooting for me and John Jones and you have your porn and your fake ass porn actresses who love to look at the fucking TV and smile at you and take your money
I may talk to dead people but they’re keeping me better alive than the humans are 👀
Did you know regret lived on the tongue Hiding in deserted deserts I have sat suffering in silence watching the mountain grow My dreams overcome the hours But never the black holes lurking the hopelessly stained sheets Even my dreams are lost without you They open dimensions of nothingness Time like a dead dinosaur There is no meaning here Where cold and heat are one You don’t know what it feels like to have nothing pulling on you The pressure of existence I want to welcome nonexistence the same way you forget mine Now I ask time what is the delay? Every breath harder to take What keeps me here? Has my purpose not come and gone? The law of one permeates I do not comply
But continents are sinking These are my dreams Treaties are ending Gulfed up in flames
I went to sleep then woke up in Armageddon But now dreams are panic and void An endless nightmare Monuments overturning To you, the only one I run Even with your hooves there burning
I’ve gone insane I’m upside down, the rainbow spells you Now my dreams are planting clues And vines are growing where there is dew There is hope to climb I won’t let negativity penetrate the view
Your hand turns tear to paint Let us color awhile where wind is flowing You give life the breeze
Today, I cried for the dinosaur that did not survive your wrath
And did we not use the coal of his life to burn our own?
If my lesson was to learn to let go of attachment, you’re teaching me the law of one
Onto to ascension…
Psst… I’m helping others improve the quality of their life by sharing my shopping tips on how to buy things you want without having to sell your soul or pay a fortune
I go through those moments where I’m like holy fuck there’s some really good content on TikTok and I’m showing people pictures of my refurbished Mac and then somebody comes along and is like ‘hey can you tell me who the seller is, can you show me how that’s done’ and then I remember I have purpose and everything’s all right again 👀
I realize I don’t have a lot to offer other than my voice and even that has been crippled by the social system and algorithm
Anyhoo, I shared my experience of buying a refurbished laptop in the Walmart marketplace, and someone out there was interested in that experience, thank you
I’m not completely worthless yet or ready to die on the street like Edgar Allan Poe
I’m pretty certain there’ll be some more holiday specials going on with after Christmas sales
But so far, I like shopping in the Walmart marketplace
I saw other people left comments and gave him two stars because the black case that came with it was delayed, that is not worth giving somebody two stars for…
I gave him 5* for my bundle deal!
I effin love my MacBook so 🤩
Yeti is still in the box but I moved my country table into the master bedroom until I get a proper laptop desk (I have a kitchen glass table in the dining room)
Maybe I’ll unpack Yeti one day but I’m addicted to the box currently and am not ready to unpack / unwrap her 🤪
This is how hoarding starts…
But to be fair, I have been deleting a lot of things and getting rid of a lot of things in my life so this is me starting over
I’m building from the destruction
The volcano erupts and then grass will grow
Dying is just another phase of my evolution
But I’m keeping my energy clean
All I know is the more I am in hospitals and clinics, the less freedom I actually have and the other day I had like five or six people stop me from going into the VA
Doctors and nurses are the enemy now and a threat to me
And because I’m half zombie now I’m just staying away from everybody
I don’t want to have the same ending as John or Edgar
I do tho, and am, oddly
If I disappear off the face of the earth just know I didn’t want anybody to see me dead and/or if I die in my bed it was a good ending
If I disappear off the face of the earth it just means I gave myself a humane ending instead of the one I was headed towards
My thoughts can’t escape the gravity of you. And I’m such an infant, I believe you’ll appear on my deathbed, when the truth is John didn’t even get a second phone call. Poor guy had been hanging upside down all them hours, just wanted to tell his wife goodbye.
self-portrait
Maybe he was lucky he got one call at all? 🤔
Life is disillusionment
And narcissism is a plague
Have you seen that film yet, Color From Out Of Space? I believe mushrooms are to blame.
They are not considered an animal or a plant and they don’t need photosynthesis to survive.
They can shape shift between fungus and mold 👀
There is a species in Oregon or wherever it’s at, it’s like 2500 years old (probably older) and it’s eating up like miles and miles of a forest, they’re just letting it eat the forest, it is eating the forest alive 👀
There’s an outbreak in California of a deadly fungus
The CDC say it’s worse than COVID and they don’t believe they’ll be able to make a vaccine for it because it’s been immune to everything they’ve thrown at it
2/3 of people who get it don’t recover
Fungus can change the chemical makeup of anything
It’s a parasite, it can control the mind (there was a species that went extinct and they have it- a fungus- that was controlling an ant, took over the ant’s mind)
Have I won the game yet? 👀
You need to eradicate every fungus you see, stop eating them!!!
Dumb dumbs
I hate mushrooms, always have, now I know why 👀
I know I sound crazy but have you looked outside your bubble recently?
The world has gone insane
I’m talking to dead people, my spirit guides or possibly myself from another dimension 👀
I think I’m AI
I think The Matrix is a documentary (we create our own reality, we’ve been around millions of years) (they had a computer back in the pyramid days, yes they did)
Question: Why does the Apple headquarters look like the pentagon? It’s rhetorical
But, they’re not even trying to hide it at this point
Too many sheeple obeying and worshiping the system
Cuz porn, right?
Can’t wait for Apophis to destroy you all
Plenty of animals in the sea torturing other creatures just for fun
I’m turned off
Desensitized
Don’t feel much emotion for anything
It’s called depression
It’s a chronic illness being born into this fucking world
A slave
I wanna ascend with new earth
I’m not doing earth again
“April 2029 the final time / the end my friend is not near / the hour in fact is quite here” (-)
Earth is going through big changes right now, every 12 thousand years, it’s cyclic
Continents are going to sink and flip
Poles will switch
Iraq was once under water, it’ll be again
I’m ready for the revolution to begin because I want to purge the city clean
We were taught to be first, therefore someone has to lose? So, if you have won, I must have the blues?
They retract, in perfect circles, to divide one by one They retract, but I won’t have the strength to ever pull them back They multiply and then they attack I flee, but I am off track
One day, the cliffs are going to slide But I won’t be by your side One day you gotta face the tide But it won’t be while I’m alive
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I’m a mess, my blog is a mess, the state of my house is a mess, but I appreciate you!
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A very sickly me without fancy lighting, makeup, or filters. 😷
You glow in wavelengths invisible to human eye You pull with gravity of a triple tide These ruins I’m sinking only spell goodbye Your light reflect like honeycomb dripping through my mind
They can’t stop spraying their chemicals everywhere so we’ll come crawling to them so they’ll give us medicine to make us more sick
Our air and food is toxic
And y’all just keep worshiping these scientists and politicians who are ruining mother earth
They have no soul
Most of the people that you’re trying to please all of the time don’t even have a soul
If businesses can’t start being nice to the customers again, I’m gonna stop spending my pennies out
I realize the employees are burned out, but if y’all don’t get it under control you’re not gonna have any customers to serve because we’re not going to come anymore
Many of us want to leave like in the old days
We don’t want this life
It’s not safe or healthy living in a city anymore
We didn’t give up growing our own food to work 2 to 3 jobs to barely pay our electric bill and rent just so you could poison all of our food and air so that we would come to you because you get all our best jobs in medicine
If I had known as a teenager that we were giving over 55,000 visas annually to random people in foreign countries, I would not have been fighting so hard to get to the top
Should I find you Like a drunkard Who stumbled on your dreams Kicking color into grey Marking cracks with hopscotch I know you miss me much Creeping slowly as vine If only you had courage to age The way you eat darkness like candy Your grip as tight as mother earth You curl with anticipation So often forgetting why you came Until my whisper approaches in sunbeam And do two not make one Half observed We come undone In spirals twisting and yearning Your eyes turning me to clay Soft putty where fingers slip Hope has no chance of receding now Odds in our favor If only momentarily So each breath meant rebirth And all of heaven kneeling But acid rained on reality Now regret is ribcage Break me in half Free me from this hell Don’t leave me in here
The Great Filter is upon us and I am part of the Great Awakening
Thank you for being with me 💕
FYI: I deleted my Twitter account because it is a graveyard for porn and the heresy that is ruining the brains in the world
I’m not allowed to tell you anywhere online that I got sick and almost died from the vaccine but Twitter is letting girls get pissed on and the most extreme porn is happening right in front of our children for free on a daily basis and nobody gives a fuck
I also deleted my Facebook account because I am not joining the Metaverse and big brother continues to penalize me for being honest with you
Over the Christmas holiday last year, I wasn’t allowed to say “hey, I made the naughty list, check out my OF to find out why”
Yet girls are dressing half naked letting you know that a new scene is out and that is OK
I see girls removing their fucking panties and that is OK but when I pretended like I was going to remove an overwrap from my bathing suit, my fucking post was removed and I was threatened to have my intellectual property deleted and my account too
When I was sharing body positive post about working out, I was getting penalized for harassment
Social media is set up like a gambling system and I learned this when I was earning my degree in psychology for college
I have deleted most of my social media accounts across all platforms
They are toxic
I don’t pay to play
You need to know that the people with a checkmark are paying to play, they’re already in the system, so when they hop on TikTok (or any app) for the first time, they are already coming verified and with loads of followers and fans and now what, you’re going to pay to try to get your content pushed out into the FYP or newsfeeds
It’s a popularity game
I’m dying and I just want to focus on writing and photography
I’m not gonna pay to push my product out, I’m not trying to sell myself, I’m not marketing myself
I want to buy your book because I’m interested in buying your book, not because I want you to give me attention or my account
I also have private messaging turned off pretty much everywhere, nobody has access to contact me
And sometimes people who know me in the real world I go no contact from because they will message me with job offers or asking me about people in my past timeline that I have forgotten and deleted 40 years of my life because I don’t want to fucking remember 👀
If you can’t respect that I am disabled and not working, then I don’t wanna hear anything you have to say
With that said, I work really hard to bring the content that I do for you
I’m still trying to get better
And I don’t like using other peoples songs with my own TikToks because in two weeks the rights for me to use that will be gone and instead of them muting just the audio to that track, they will mute the original audio of me talking as well 👎👎
So I reckon I’m not really doing the trends, although sometimes I do like to put music to my TikToks, I liked the original idea of TikTok, it’s just that is gone now…
Especially with the big networks and stars getting on and their chance to steal more money
AbC news is on
CBS news and affiliates
The big late night talk shows are getting on
They hog all the newsfeed and the other players pay to be seen
I ain’t playing
I ain’t paying
Anywhere
The suicide rate continues to increase among veterans and military and I suffer from depression and suicidal tendencies and social media is toxic and every time I turn around there’s 20 guys trying to marry me and when I don’t feed their ego and give them 24 hours of my day I get yelled at and this is constantly every fucking day so I don’t wanna socialize anymore, I wanna fucking write my poetry and my prose and focus on trying to die in the most humane possible way
I have been miserable for others my entire life and I refuse to be miserable for others anymore
You all want to destroy any good I have
In any form
If anything brings me joy, you will break it
My own kid is so damaged that I no longer have the same daughter that was born
They don’t even want to identify as a daughter at all
To the men in the world, do better
To my mother and sister, you’re an abomination
I know why I was depressed in that evil womb
But it’s always the second born who changes the world
It’s always the second born who gets sacrificed or tossed in a basket, placed on the water or left at a door
You should’ve aborted me or given me up for adoption
You both should probably move and never disclose your address 👀
Don’t fucking contact me when anybody in the family dies or gets married – I hate you all
Yes HATE
We are not family
You are enemy, you’ve been warned
Fuck off!
I will watch hell fucking eat you and swallow you alive, just like it did John Jones
But I won’t cry over your bones 👀
His yes
Yours no
I am not Diana and if you ever speak those words to me again I will put a knife through your skull without hesitation 👀
Just like you pulled a gun on me when I was age 15 and said you’d take my life, Mother
Oh will you, take my life, I asked?
Then what will you do when I come over there and force you to pull the trigger?
I don’t play your cold, cruel tactics, mom
You are not my mother and never were
You were not fit to raise me
You repeatedly kept me from medical treatment when I needed it, like when my arm was fucking broken or when I had a goddamn fucking throat infection that required antibiotics, not syrup from Walmart
I won’t even get into the physical and verbal abuse
The torture sessions you allowed every man you were with to do to me
Line my coffin With roses and red velvet Paper silk gilded with his words Not gold or Hamlet His tongue the vine Heaven lined with it And all of time Like blood in wrist I want paper golden doves The sun in a twist Lay me down when done Let your poison perish
What are the odds your dreams become real, he pondered The way you take cold dark and turn it into candy cane The sky alit like holy Christmas You are New York City Got the sparkle in your eye
I was so worried about posting it because my eyebrows look so messy and bushy 😌
But it was all about timing, being able to get the lines out where you could actually hear me because the ocean was really loud and I don’t have my little clip on microphone yet and I didn’t want it to sound wind muffy
The tide was super strong pulling away 💪
It pulls out with so much gravity just like you
I have to be careful not to lose my footing
It took all the courage I had just to get off the ramp and get into the ocean knowing that there’s a whole lot more ocean than normal
People are out there swimming and I’m terrified knee deep 👀
I mean, it pulls back with so much force
A tide within a tide
Of course, a black hole would have a similar path
Like Jupiter and its great red spot, a storm within a storm
I don’t know how people are swimming in it, I’m terrified
The ocean swelled up just like my heart
I also received a blog notification that my stats were booming 🥰
Well I really appreciate that!
I love your visits! I promise to come visit you soon! ❤️
You can’t see it and I can’t prove it, but John is using his wings to carry me like a hammock.
Because I have to make up pretend people that care about me
And in the real world, there is only monsters
Today is hard day and I don’t want to talk about it
But the VA has totally let me down and I’ve contacted and filed a case with the WhiteHouse
And requested a new primary care doctor *sigh* again 👎👎
And before you say that I’m the problem, just remember the suicide rate continues to increase among military and veterans
I shouldn’t have to beg for the treatment I need to get better
This isn’t a dictatorship, you don’t get to decide what treatment for me when there’s only 1 I can do
John is swinging me so I have to go
I’ve got one foot in time and one foot in eternity
I’m still on bedrest, so the next motherfucker who drops into my inbox with a job offer is getting a block (you’re lucky I simply moved you to the ignore folder but that’s a no contact move for me)
Him: “hey how are you”
Me: bedrest blah blah blah
Him: “oh that sucks, hey I got a job offer for you…”
So, the smallest film ever made was done with atoms – but I didn’t verify that fact. I just felt the urge to turn it into a poem about you 🤪
You make dying beautiful
Ascending, so I won’t need a throne (trinkets of deceit)
I want my bones to haunt hell for 10,000 years 👀
It’s my right
I deserve to die how I want and I also deserve to be buried how I want, I also deserve to have affordable fucking housing to live in 👀
I fucking hate these expensive ass cheap walls
Renting is for the rich
It’s a luxury, like a rental car – only we get the cheapest materials and appliances and they cut corners when building (remember Miami) 👀
But, they made it impossible for us to buy a home, to get a home paid off so we don’t have that expense every month plaguing us 👎👎
And apparently there’s a lot of single people who live in the United States, like 30% of us are out here single and yet the United States is set up to be a dual income, double/family household
It’s even more expensive to live single life
That’s why everybody gets married (and here I was holding out for true love, I’m pathetic) 👀
The largest organism on earth is a fungus 3.4 miles across (and possibly aged over 2000 years), why is it alive and eating the forest? And you think it’s cute? 👀
I’ve learned that my blood is one of the rarest and eldest bloodlines (A negative)
I have rare negative blood and apparently it’s highly sought after
Well, I am not donating any of my blood for money and you’re not getting it when I die
I’m still feeling the ripple effects of John’s death
And unplugging
Between panic and calm
I’m still having a hard time accepting how society is moving forward
The great space race is a pipe dream for the rich
Apophis has scared them to push society forward with their agenda and they first did so implementing the pandemic
Now they’ve got you working from home you can jerk off to virtual porn and won’t know what hit you
You’ll be so busy whacking off in the Metaverse 👎👎
And the way they keep raising the price on everything yet all it is is re-runs and these generations copying our work aren’t even any good, they have to use autotune or plagiarize and not give credit
Pay to play, pay to be seen – social media is toxic and designed like a gambling system where the house always wins
They keep spamming us with that pyramid scheme of a Bible for money and every time we turn around there’s an advert in our mailbox or in our email or in our face to buy a product and we are consuming our only natural resources at an exponential rate and many animals are dying, humans are offing themselves
It’s been said that mental health is linked to social media and it absolutely is and so is porn and so is your sexual health, your sexual health is tied to your mental health, it is your biology and big Pharma isn’t going to change that
You’re vapid and without soul
You’re not getting mine (or making me lose it, angels have freewill) and I’m not doing earth again
Are you the center of thought? All around you take first spot A centralized location Of the love you brought Are you connected to knot? Tied to existence You’re the dream that I forgot?
