Curfew doesn’t apply to me ENCOURAGING I’m outside foraging Nighttime flourishing
Forgive my offenses Leaping over fences Soul consequences No shame dispenses
Maybe I’m like liquids My blood is wicked This tongue explicit Soul sin omitted
Cop and crow Linger on death row I got front show Walk with vertigo
You’re on speed dial? Definition of reconcile? My aim is hostile Sit down awhile
Eggshell or limestone Wait til I’m in prone Crawling through milestone Tearing down all throne
They are watching Dark eyes mocking I’m out here walking White girl so shocking
I don’t want to wear pretty dresses made with poison Competing against everyone and their perfect lies Even in death Forged and eulogized Casket closed The truth is never wide Silence on our face The dead won’t cry!
He is danger; know him like a stranger I react with anger Tunnel through the trigger Lock and load with vigor Cold as glacier I am endangered
I don’t know whether to be offended or withdrawn I don’t know the rules at all He’s automaton I dare not crawl
We can’t stop tomorrow Falling in the center of all hollow Black hole is sorrow Do you have hope to borrow?
And where I’m crawling narrow Do you really care though? Always chasing pharaoh Name sinner sparrow
I can eat a meal with Abraham Or Gideon Fight the city of Sodom Blindsided with no hand
They call me FALLEN Say my name – Never see me crawling Calling poison pollen
His self-worth Is wrapped in numbers and money Thinks darkness is sunny
Swallowed by sinkhole Earth on cruise control Got my spirit low I live on limestone
Love is a feeble and fragile fire Under denial He will still smile Lie while under trial Claim that he misdialed He’s a pedophile
I’m not interested in validation But more of if today I will eat a salad
Maple Blood of the gods Drink it in gobs Amber makes tongue throb Need it a lot Plot for my crop
He can’t believe he crawled into that hole Based on the lies he was presented His death could’ve been prevented He uses me to speak it
Lives are born and never recorded They are important
If eyes were closed His love disposed His blood runs cold Like death decomposed
The worst of all possible punishment Put it on a monument Pay the earth a compliment Nevermind where heaven went Paid with life and not one cent Left us broke to an extent You think dying’s intimate?
Well my hand was drawn at midnight 13 minutes after bad luck Tiny feet kick through sheet rock I don’t give a fuck
He’s glaring attentive The sun burning incentive He stands with attention Will burn through dissension
Better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war That’s my rapport Put it on a flag and let’s explore The garden is what I’m fighting for
Photos from last nights try on session (so casual stuffs)
I’m still rearranging my bedroom and my bed is now on the floor and I gave my neighbor my lazy chair recliner because I’m still getting rid of furniture and might be homeless soon thanks to Black Rock dictatorship
I can’t fall in love with things I don’t like Some dogs makes you want to end your life
Luck and fortune I want an option Hope found at auction? I burn every doctrine Feet keep marching I’m cursing often Earth will be my coffin Chasing after nothing
You should’ve kept your mouth shut So deep my wound you felt the cut I guess you’d say you bleed somewhat If you stab in the gut
Sometimes I feel rushed The weight of a feather crushed As long as voice is hushed The praise will gush
I’M ACTUALLY NATIVE AMERICAN BROWN WITH SOME ALBINO AND SUN SPOTS FROM THE SOURCE
I bring you gifts Of all the things you hate Kick you from cliffs And blame you for the weight
You’re a savage and a servant You’re a lion and a lamb Lessons you never learned it And regret You won’t feel a milligram
Are you a gap in reflection? A two way mirror complexion? Can you give me protection? Such priceless affection?
I want to disturb the place you rest Uneasy under crest The earth must love you best Won’t let go your chest
I don’t follow the trends They lead to dead ends!
Long ago I was discarded Does faith keep one safeguarded God is brokenhearted Gone extinct his harvest I cry the hardest
Remove the harness Underneath the carcass Decay just a garnish Layer earth with tarnish We all die regardless
Top of the list huh Right next to “she is dumb” So above and below your thumb Better argument and income That’s the mirror you’re seeing from REMOVED MYSELF FROM THE EQUATION
A GHOSTLY INVASION
I can see through hell’s shadow He’s drinks coffee like espresso I removed self from the status quo I KNOW MY POSITION THOUGH
I’m up, you’re down? Quantum entanglement We wear it like a crown?
My gifts come with all the things he hates Open up these flooded gates Love obviates Nothing he appreciates
Tart Like black cherry Contempt he’ll carry Bag overflowing heavy Sin his sanctuary
P.S. I’m not giving up on the dog. We went for two bike rides yesterday. I finally got the bike out of the house. Most of the black neighbors looked like they wanted to run over me and one white neighbor stopped in his car and warned me that they do 90 around the bend and “be careful”.
I’m not racist I swear. (Everyone hates me for my skin color or my soul. I don’t know which anymore but the city IS dangerous and folks being murdered left and right).
They are targeting the disabled and single white girls. FYI (old people and generally anyone looking weak)
I stitched you into fabric Maybe not elaborate Tiny bit of havoc Maybe out of habit
With some twigs and magic Spilled blood and tragic Wind blown erratic Pages blank but classic
Well now I’ve found the warmth Wrapped up in your world From east to north Stepping back and forth
I have been to hell and back Got the almanac Full sins on attack My wings are carbon black
If photons had a clock The clock would never tick Don’t you question it My love for him It’s just physics
I think he is precious Sun burning contentious Heavy metal pretentious Like moon is reckless Tiny little crevice Will appear speckless Diamond for necklace Can leave lung breathless
How to avoid a road to hell? I think it’s where we fell? Should have gone left? What do you suggest?
He’s got a crown and sword I want to fall on
To die tenderly Kinetic energy Your words – Are haunting me
You will find God if you look lower Crawl feet first but slower Remove bad clover Like a whistleblower
My growth has been stunted Under moon words hunted Why you are confronted All my love abundance Love you in hundreds
Sometimes wounds are gutted Jump in holes redundant Forget the summit Pitched in black no judgment My hope is funded
Through your words I’m blooded Heart beats on like flooded I know what you did Whole world screams forbid Death cannot disconnect our power grid
And if your words are a puddle I’d jump in again and again Don’t care how deep it gets Love you from within
I JUST WOKE UP AND STOLE THE IMAGES FROM TIKTOK AND TURNED THE IDEA INTO A POEM. NEW TREND. SUE ME. The creator is in the poem.
GODDESS
I’ve been praying for answers though on what to do, on how to take down the elite and all these goddamn mushrooms keep popping up all around this lake and now this very clear information came through to me and this is something that we all can hold them back from
LEAVING EARTH
(We can’t go anyway but we can absolutely stop them)
WE CAN STOP THEM 😈😈😈😈
Also – I firmly believe that we dropped a giant bomb on Mars and we’ve been cloning for a long time
There is now evidence coming out that a bomb was dropped on Mars – (they’ll say an Asteroid ☄️)
They keep spraying poison over all the flowers on the road and now they want us to pay for them to plant flowers that they killed
And I did
The enemy is sitting rich on his throne while he fucking poisons my food air and water
WE CAN STOP THEM
I WANT BIG BOI ON MY TEAM
I’ll be lingering near the safe zone of the beach when the shit hits the fan
But it won’t matter if I have an old working jeep or are new working jeep, I can’t outrun the Lord!!!
I would like a floaty device tho
Jesus: you get one question go:
Me: how to save a barnacle? How to save the world? 😌
Right now the message imcoming is: WE CANNOT LET THEM LEAVE
Ready to sell my TV and destroy the elite
If you let your children use virtual reality gaming you are ruining their brain and if you use it for porn you are ruining your brain – you’re not supposed to have that much dopamine being released and it’s literally destroying the fabric of your identity and CELLS
Advertising is just as intrusive
That’s why sometimes you want to cry after an ad
ADVERTISING IS CONDITIONING AND MOST ADS LIE!!!!!!! THE GOVERNMENT IS OUR ENEMY NOW IN EVERY CAPACITY OF THE WORD – THERE IS NO HIDING THE EVIL NOW
I don’t have anything to offer When he can buy it all A narcissist will not suffer Like an angel will fall
Let him run to Paris! Let him have his fun! My name’s Polaris Like lightning from a gun!
Have you been to the petrified forest in North Dakota? Have I lost my quota?
God made galaxies to be seen The calm and serene The moon and evergreen The sun and me
Full moon tomorrow And I’m all sorrow
Mary Magdalene was a whore Who slept with men for honey Wanted bread, not money What’s to abhor?
The homeless are an invasive species Or so the TV tells me As rent continues skyrocketing The problem aren’t the elites
I’m organic It makes the Devil frantic! Hand stitched by God The Devil cannot stand it!
See the full set on my OnlyFans (thank you so much for your support, as I like food a lot, despite the petite appearance…)
11 hours go by 17 make me cry
Why you take so long to respond to me Takes an eternity
Mercury in Retrograde Not like the softness in my tears The way you disappear Demand both sin and aid! God’s not counting years So the moon will not persuade Though full when he appears With only faith to trade God’s not missing here
The King is a fool Burning his confidant of truth
93 million miles away huh (all photography by @poeeternal)
The next time God sends you something with wings It won’t have feathers Looks like bad weather Be damned is what it means I warn of things
When in doubt Burrow Like a fox Make it thorough
Not going in – is what the sign reads (red flags 101) RIP JOHN JONES
Can we start over? Since we never have before? An open shoulder? Not a closed door?
Father,
I have lost all sense of worth I put in the work Darkness was my crutch Jumping cliff to perch Swearing off the church I know Satan’s lurch Full sin born at birth Decades roaming earth Hell, heaven or hearth
Please save me
Freckles galore – kisses from the source (lots and lots) 9/25/2022 (time is bullshite) (Ethiopia is seven years behind. April Fool’s!!!!!!!!!) Stupid Americans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I fell like a sword Over propaganda I am abhorred God did not abandon Heart can be restored Faith my companion
He treats me like a number in the crowd He’s a puddle and I can’t get out
I found myself a lost wanderer Surrounded in fear With water creeping near But without wonder Year after year I know I am average I am shrinking here
And now, under moon A ceremonial ego death Hard to draw a breath John Jones go left! I wake up in sweat I lost a brother Maybe the best
I am covered in agony One lifeline to heaven please God is feeding me Gave me life and seed Said get creating Heart has energy Blood is poetry
The earth took my blood Water turned bone to stone Earth is my home!
Earth is lying!!!!!!!
AND I MUST WEEP ALONE!!!!!!!
Tiny raindrops pouring down Your energy speaks volumes There in the Bayou Lies who?
Cutting blood ties With moonstone What could go wrong Hissing with his lies Missing is his tries Left to roam alone
I’m not crawling to my doom I take cover under moon My cloth isn’t costume My favorite color isn’t gloom I’m not chasing after you
The baby likely died last Down in the valley Family finale
I’m aware my artistry is waning like the moon (sometimes thangs are better but I always put full heart in)
I hope there was something you enjoyed and there is more content coming! 🤪
I got folks coming to my blog telling me to cover up. Last I checked I was a GROWN WOMAN and nudity is NOT A SIN
God made me capable of having children at 13 and I believe I should’ve been allowed to choose a husband while under the age of 18
SOCIETY IS A SCAM
*leaps from bridge*
They want me covered up in jab cuz they can’t control their urges
They teach their children women are to be seen as sex objects only – only nude when servicing man
The guy coming to my blog telling me to cover up is the same guy who supports porn stars and the porn industry and jerks off to porn religiously but then goes to church and drops some money in the tray and thinks everything is OK
Glad he’s enjoying farm life and three meals a day plus infinite snacks
BUT YOU PISSED ON ONE OF GOD’S ANGELS
HE’S TAKING NOTE
I am grateful for your viewship. I shouldn’t have to censor myself on my own blog. It goes against my purpose of full transparency and truthmongering. Sorry not sorry.
“I don’t want my kids to see this”
You mean the same kids you let loose in the mall and at Walmart whom openly sale erotic adult sex toys IN FRONT OF CHILDREN – not behind a curtain 👀
You’d be surprised at how much $5 can lift my spirits and buy me fuel or coffee! If you can’t afford a subscription, please consider a donation or tip! 🎃🎃🎃
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALLOWING ME FREEDOM OF SPEECH ON MY OWN BLOG
You taste of Judas Iscariot Betrayal you’ll marry it I’ve paid twice for sins Won’t pay again
144 awakening 7th seal opening Judgment hour No hoping (John’s still coping)
One, two See through all of you
Hell hath arrived THERE ARE NO GOODBYES
Oh, Princeof This World They aren’t your gifts to give Heaven rules over all but this God is the Void But Satan rules this world
I am a beggar Crawling eternally
Helpless to stop it Remove self from equation The devil is invasion I’m losing patience! Careful crossing occasion Will get stuck persuading Hopeful helpful information
Nature becomes conscious of itself through you
I NEED YOU LIKE ETERNITY Hell is separation I’M BURNING
If I die here Nobody will know I didn’t want to But nobody will ask you
Fallen Angelic Trying to ascend
Need him more and then Eleven hours spent Not bad omen
Number signs godsend I do listen And then repent
Foreshadowing But if he’s dropping flags I’m walking in Red carpet rolling With a halo full of sin God said keep walking But I want him instead
He turns me SOFT Like the Grand Canyon will flow Paradigm shift halo He owns my soul
I’m sorry he betrayed you A devil said to shrewd I think with gratitude The sun burns the moon I rest in solitude Black as blue But oh so devalued
I do not dream of labor The moon a gaper Place our love on paper He calls – I turn to vapor
We’re reaching terminal velocity Death is nearing Is this the correct speed? Thought you needed me?
He’s wrapped up in deceit Like a sheet Am I a ghost I am discreet
I’m without kingdom Guarding eternity Trident I’m not lying
WHAT LIES Beyond the horizon CRIMINAL EYES But the sun’s still rising AND I’M HERE FOR BLOOD
Touch me So the curse will lift Kiss me on the lip Keep me near your hip
More poetry and photography coming! Thank you for your interest in my content! I work hard at it! I hope you are enjoying the Halloween theme! Lingerie bodysuit by Dolls Kills! 🎃
I just dropped a set on the OnlyFans! 40 photos! Like when PlayBoy did 18 & 36 page spreads! SAME! 🤪
I’ve been busy writing and working out! I’ll post behind-the-scenes soon!
It’s BOO season!! 🎃🎃🎃
I’m ready to dawn the Halloween costume daily! I wanna go on a hayride!!!! 👀
All my content is original and I do not use an AI generator to write my poems nor do I scour the web for overused images by others. Sorry not sorry!
In makeup and filter 🤪
Thank you for your viewship and feedback! Highly appreciated! ❤️
So. The love of my life called. We talked about the theory of everything for 11 hrs. and then some.
We don’t want to share separate bedrooms in a marriage
Honeymoon phase shall continue til the end of my days and respawn and love him again
I confessed I loved him in my twenties
We ain’t never even kissed
Not on earth yet anyway…
And I’m doing everything I can to fix my gut/immune system
I’m scared of people but want to learn to exist in the same room as him
I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT HIM
Also, the Poe tat has relevance in that “deep in earth my love is lying”
Yep
He my fucking existence earth sign and all
And I do weep for him
I FUCKING DO
We have each other’s phone numbers and addresses now so the ghosting needs to fucking stop
He gonna need a restraining order to keep me away 🤪
He gonna need 2 or three 🤪
(Shame about the lady who just had her head dismembered from a psychopath she had 3 restraining orders from. Welp. He cut her head off – in front of the kids – 😑)
It’s the end of the world but he’s finally calling
WRITE HIM THE LETTER EVEN IF IT TAKES TWENTY YEARS FOR THE RETURN
I’ve broken into too many pieces to collect And sin he is buried up to his neck
A demon ran past his curfew Patience is a virtue Hard work is what I do Truth is taboo
I misinterpret perception The book of hope is deception Misguided direction Waiting for insurrection
I know I’m headstrong I read the data wrong Hang head low on throne “144” on the headstone
I’m tired of the overrule Narcissism How they always ridicule
The banks block the poor from spending hard money earned Well if you transfer this or transfer that They’ll track every move you got And God forbid you have extra dough You’ll be met with a spending limit yah know!!!
Raw + edited photos on the new OnlyFans! I’m still on the leaderboard! 🥰
I dropped a new set last night and I am utilizing the “Story and Hightlight” features as I got/still get penalized a lot by Mark Zuckerberg and at least now I have a safety zone to do drops!
I have lost so much weight from detoxing and my little skirt is a medium and I clearly need a size small now (which is fine) but I was panicked and freaking out because I wanted my hair down and I didn’t do my pigtails and blah blah blah – I can always find a reason why the set could have been better but I received my first tip 🤩
So I stopped beating myself up
I’m getting a rebound session in soon but I want my morning coffee first today
Yep
I drink water all freaking day and all night, let me have a fucking coffee OK, I’m 5 pounds, I’m gonna have a fucking coffee before I work out
I know that sounds different from what people do but I’m doing things different down here in this timeline
I’m so annoyed that somewhere in the world right now the year is seven years back and I want to jump into that fucking timeline and have a baby
My clock is ticking and I keep asking it to chill the fuck out but it is in overdrive 🤪
I don’t want anyone hurting any children
But I started my period at 13 and I should’ve been allowed to get married by 15 and have 12 babies with my husband the way my grandmother did with hers
Immigration absolutely has been a Trojan horse and I’m fucking horny, deal with it
I’m not out there doing anything to disrespect my potential future husband though and if he’s worried about me stripping to pay my bills or to keep a roof over my head, then he’s too vanilla for me
As far as I’m concerned, the OF is as good as therapy
I get to express my art and not get penalized by the dictatorship out there
They did steal 20% of my tip tho 😑
I AM SO GRATEFUL I GOT A TIP AT ALL
But there will probably be a poem in the future about how the establishment is stealing the tip money of its hard workers
AND I ABSOLUTELY KNOW WHY EDGAR ALL POE DIED
HE NEEDED TO DEBUG
Like apparently the entire population
I already got a load of dishes washing
About to get a coffee going
RELAX
REBOUND
REPEAT
I’m anxious for my LED bike lights to arrive so I’ll probably pump up the tires and make sure everything’s good to go
THE SUMMER HEAT IS NOT GONE
But early morning and late evening bike rides are about to start
You definitely need lights riding in the city and bright colors sometimes isn’t even enough because I’ve been out several times in bright colors and still have almost been ran over several times with one person coming back to acknowledge it and saying “that was really close”
And I was just like “it was my turn” 😑
I’m gonna try leaving the lions den again
It ain’t safe in any capacity
Which is why I am actively boxing and packing mostly the entire rest of my house and trying to get the master bedroom, closet, and bathroom together, so at least have a little apartment area to not go mad
GILLED AND WITH TEETH. PHOTO BY ME FROM THIS VERY AM. 🤨
A DISH SERVED COLD 🤨
DANGER SHROOMS POTENTIALLY BEWARE (all photography by @poeeternal)
Thank you so much for supporting my content or reading my blog or just being a positive influence in my life overall because I know that I’m toxic and I’m working on that
Prayed for all of them and there’s more on that list🙏
YOU BLEED ENOUGH AND THEN THE BLEEDING STOPS
You won’t get my forgiveness
I’m not here for that
Also! Thank you for the belated birthday moneyz! 🥰
There’s such a warm feeling inside knowing I’m shopping for soup thangs soon
Also, I’m giving Walmart pickup a try. It’s free on orders of $35 or more
I’ll let them shop for my groceries again. Only this time I will drive to pick them up. They bring it to your car.
I won’t have to deal with the COVID crowds or mask up with a partial working lung (the left lung is doing better and I’m taking deeper breaths now, hopefully not the death call)
I may do a sunrise livestream from the beach this weekend on my TikTok
There’s a lot of negative dark energy here in the city, I’d like to avoid
I JUST WANNA BE HOME
It’s the worst place I’ve ever lived but for now it’s the only place I want to be
I’ve been moving my furniture around in my bedroom though and now I have a new view
I’m searching for a decent mattress topper because I’m sick of sleeping on wires
I think I may have finally found one without all the bs
They only have 2 inches but it’s decently priced and it’s gotta be better than sleeping on these fucking wires
I wanted 6 inches and the 3 inch egg shell + 3 inch memory foam but they don’t exist anymore
They keep trying to push the products with infusion in it which will dry out eventually and make your bed crack and I don’t want to sleep with chemicals
Anyhoo
I think I settled on that one and it’ll be decided on next payday
I may take a peek inside the actual Walmart but I can’t stand going inside that place lol
CROWDS
UGG
GROSS
I’m nearly ready to start sleeping on my floor tho
The bed I’m sleeping on was donated by the church cuz my stupid ass went homeless briefly during the government furloughs and hiring freezes
I love that I studied so long in college for a job just for the government to stop us from working and give all of our jobs away to the immigrants
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🇺🇸
MADE IN CHINA INDIA MEXICO
(Native American slave)
But the black Americans want me to pay financial repercations for propaganda crimes I never committed (nor my bloodline)
GET IN THE FUCKING SEA
I will go AWOL if you don’t stop taxing me
NASA IS A FRAUD!!!!!!!
WE CAN’T LEAVE EARTH!!!
I’m hungry thus hangry but not so much cuz the cart is getting full soon and the free pick up makes me less anxious to shop myself
I never worked at Walmart but damn that would’ve been a much better job to have been picking out other peoples groceries, taking it to the car, or even delivering it to them, that sounds like a fantastic way to spend eight hours instead of just standing there scanning shit nonstop without a break
In England, they sit down on the job to scan your groceries…
I fucking hate it here (in America)
THE GREAT SLAVERY
THE GREAT WALL OF DECEIT
THE GREAT PYRAMID SCHEME
I think I may have a Bible here or two that might be worth putting on eBay
I’m kinda having difficulties accessing my account tho
And I’m fairly certain I locked myself out of my Facebook on purpose
So Mark Zuckerberg will be selling my data permanently forever without my permission
Same thing is going on with my Etsy…
I’m done with this fucking establishment
They shouldn’t be allowed to update their policies and add stuff like that and automatically have it selected yes for you
BUT THEY DO
Also, I’ve started receiving mail from spectrum again and when I called they said it was automation so the rainforest has been cut down for fucking spam in my mailbox that I don’t want every goddamn day or any day!!!
THE ONLY ESCAPE IS GOING AWOL / GETTING A PLOT OF LAND WITH MY OWN COMS
Luckily, I know a Soldier or two an expert in communication
LUCKS
They will come when I call…
When I went homeless, some of the officers I shared a foxhole with was offering for me and my pets to come stay…
I did not go but alas I was homeless in 2017 for 4 months
Still climbing out of that financial hole
I lost my entire Thrift savings (retirement) + regular savings just staying afloat
Should have cut the cord sooner
Thank fuck I got discharged before the entire “you must vaccinate or get kicked out dishonorably” bullshit occurred
Stay strong y’all
I didn’t have a husband or family to fall back on
My head is still kind of a mess from everything especially getting a vaccine injury but I’m in deep therapy trying to recover mentally physically everything
Appreciate y’all so much
I want my own little bit of land so I can start helping others and pay it forward
My mortgage payment would be way less than my annual rent increases
“Yeah but you have to do everything yourself”
Oh thank fuck, I don’t think I can handle hearing the Mexicans blow the leaves around the goddamn parking lot any longer
READY TO JUMP FROM THAT BRIDGE OR GO AWOL
(I’m going to use the birthday money to get groceries so thank you)
Psst I’m not racist. I’m tired of the policies being changed to benefit other countries while America becomes a third world country
I’m allowed to complain about the country I fought for
Rotten fruit falls by itself If you’re compelled Don’t bid farewell
Could you drop good news with the bad? Could you learn happy just means sad? Could you leave but still come back? Or are you ever planning that?
There he goes again Slamming the door! And I still don’t know What we’re fighting for!
Where did your will come from? Was it bought from the sun? What will you become? Is your will firm?
John,
You should have kept your head in the book You should have took a second look You should have chose a different route You should have crossed a bigger chute
I know I’m not what you need That’s why you keep walking away I know I’m not what you bleed That’s why you have nothing to say
Been down a ways Get little praise Been down always Been down always
I made a mess Of these prison walls Out of order The sad owner Of these pitfalls
I am the still of the lake With underwater currents circling The whirlpool in your eye full of hate Forgiveness won’t be surfacing No mercy at the break
Why does weight cause gravity? Like my love for you You will disappear But I am stuck like glue?
Last seen Smoking on the Bayou Got the deep blues Gonna cut loose
Restarted just to leave, Alive just to grieve, Got what you need? Stop bailing on me!
If I could do it all again I’d let you be my influence Blood to pen Influent
Jesus: didn’t you say he left your bed?
Yes.
Jesus: and he won’t share a slice of his bread?
*feather tremble 👀
He slams the door He makes an entrance He begs for more He is relentless
I’m sorry they left out details on an updated map not showing risk or location where 2 others had been stuck – and took hours to rescue
I’m sorry that management thought it best to remove features on a map – instead of blocking off entrance and stating instead that anyone with common sense would know “dusty” means “don’t go” “not well traveled” (victim blaming)
I’m sorry you thought you were somewhere you weren’t
And that the dangers and risks weren’t disclosed
“Why did you put me here…?”
Could you imagine if my last mission was a suicidal attempt to come get your bones
Last we saw of her was outside the cave location of John Jones, we think she went inside….
200 years later: bones of John Jones found in mysterious location with the remains of missing….
What’s even stranger is the position they were found in….
*cue the fairytales the establishment dish out as fact*
And thus a new religion was born
Hail whoever the fuck I become in the future
I mean, I do wanna go get his bones tho
*leaves suicide note near dug up entrance / and a black backpack*
CHECKMATE FUTURE ME
*doesn’t die*
*turns 44*
I was screaming for John recently tho – silently from my soul
He came up and was like, “you’re screaming like I’m in Utah..”
Cuz he haz jokes 😌
P.S. if you don’t know who or what I’m talking about, only the greatest tragedy in my living history. An angel was crucified upside down by a demon – who later received a bonus and likely a promotion for “heroic efforts”.
I want to throw up 🤢
His body was left there with over 100 rescue personnel on the clock.
Our tax dollars hard at work.
His bones are still in that cave and one day I’m gonna go get em’…
He hates that fucking cave…
There are things that had happened down there that Michael Leavitt says “will never be disclosed” and I’m gonna make him disclose them…
The patience and the craft of a warrior gone rogue
30 years time
This ain’t Minority Report
Although a kid did get arrested for making a threat during a video game
My PS4 has been factory reset and is in the STUFF TO BE SOLD AT THE PAWN box
The content is propaganda and subliminal messaging
I’m trying to get through to you
Espionage everywhere
But what do you see
Also – PayPal has listed someone as a contact who once donated to me anonymously
I found out about the anonymous donor – or rather who it was – about six months or so later – in an end-of-the-year PayPal statement
Fucking fantastic
The goddamn glitches in this timeline
The anomalies
And now Instagram tells people “followed by so-in-so”
There is no privacy here
My TV hasn’t been turned on in weeks
I wanna turn into one of them vets who live in the country with their own radio coms
Telephone? We ain’t got one of them here. You gotta drive into town…
I made it to 44, thanks to John Jones
I don’t know if I’m gonna get out alive, but he’s down here with me
And those electrical jolts to my heart was him repairing the damage big pharma caused when I injected myself twice with that deadly poison
I was barely alive, hanging on by a thread
I’m spitting less in a cup but I’m still spitting in a cup
I keep hearing people say they’re catching Covid and I can’t catch Covid, my immune system has been compromised from the death jab and heart inflammation and people are now dropping dead by that adult death syndrome which I’m at risk of
I need to be quarantined
I need to be that girl in a bubble
I wanted to have photos for you today
But then that 7 day treatment is taxing on the liver, this detox I’m doing – coupled with me starting my period with the full moon like clock work
I’m spent…
But I made it to 44!!!!
I’ve lived 43 years!!!
Now it ain’t easy
My sister died in January at age 45
She didn’t make it to 46
And I’ve been saying since I was a little kid that I wouldn’t live past 50 so I have that weighing on me
I’ve been saying since I was about 12 years old that Leo’s have heart and feet problems so I predicted my own fucking death
I’m paying better attention to the red flags now I hope
And when I feel myself falling into a violent dark rage – I’m gonna paint my nails instead and play dress up or ride my bike or bake a delicious meal
That’s the intention anyway
I’m still in intensive therapy and putting in the work…
I’m starting this new detox regime soon
And then probably the liver cleanse
And some of the other formulas he has
Vegetarian too from what I’ve seen
It’s less expensive than dying or treatments from Big Pharma which nearly all include toxic poisons – yellow/red/blue dyes
These nurses and doctors don’t give a fuck about you
They think the NDA they made you sign trumps their oath
IT DON’T
Take revenge in the courtroom and not on the street (or self-destruct)
Stay woke
P.S.S. America is a corporation where its occupants are owned by communistic China – who holds hands with the Russian mafia – who is the Illuminati – and keeps you distracted with porn, religion, politics, Hollywood, propaganda and subliminal messaging
I love him for awhile Drop bombs and act hostile I’ll love him for a mile Send invite then exile
Narcissism is a plague Wildfire like my rage Your flag is acting vague Say what you mean to say
I’m sorting everything I have Every single thing I own Been logging too much weight I’m never feeling home
Been crawling with my skeleton I’m getting out of prone I’m turning on the lights I’m heading for unknown
I’m tired of washing clothes I hate to wear I’m tired of open roads Of just despair
The aftermath apparent Like an errant animal It’s so overbearing The way deep space Won’t stop starring Or acting like He’s not caring
118 pounds Can barely afford a smile He goes by too many nouns Won’t you feed me at the fairgrounds? I might put on a frown A tear for the clown Wearing a hospital gown Starving little cloud
He knows my birthday without a doubt I just haven’t figured it out
You kneel I heal That was the deal
We have to make order out of chaos Forget about the hard loss Betrayal is a hard bust We never quite will adjust
I’m going through metamorphosis I gave no notice Guess I’ll change my coordinates I am the cold porcelain
Dear John, I’m still spitting in a cup But I haven’t given up Lost my way and now I’m stuck Guess I haven’t any luck
Re: Mark Zuckerberg Someone silence that puppet Put a bullet in his nugget Don’t ask, Don’t tell who done it
Label created Clouds must be elated Happy belated Words I never stated Love’s overrated
Eventually you get tired of – The papers piling up Evidence of – I never gave a fuck
He’s always causing so much ruckus I’m losing focus Gave my two week notice He’s close to homeless
I’ve got decades of mail unopened Obviously I’m barely coping?
I’ve been lost in my own shadow Falling down every hole
I’m still organizing the clutter inside my soul and beyond…
I’m a vampyre. Got the elite blood from the elder Gods. Authentic. They can’t corrupt my DNA. 🤨
The Devil tried to kill me and I slept the fucking year to heal. Doing warrior thangs. Reverting back to what the Army taught me. And sometimes wounded warriors need a long time to heal cuz they get the worse wounds in battle.
I told you I was marching around the trenches and now I done got myself stuck. 
I’ve been praying for answers, some of them I answered myself.
I’ve been disassociating for years. Maybe decades.
The evidence clearly shows.
My new self motto: “I don’t know how we got here, let’s just fix it.”
And when you start fixing holes in your ship, more will appear.
Don’t panic.
Find a way to plug the hole and abandon dreams if you must.
I know. Hang on. 
The waves will be harder…
Don’t jump from the cliff.
Don’t give up.
If you’d like to support this blog or my poetry, I’m on Patreon! Thank you for inspiring me! ❤️
It mattered while it mattered Stuck upside down Soul still shattered Saw smile for frown Then all light scattered Fell down our crown When hope was battered
Thank you for the gorgeous vegan nail polish from my Amazon wishlist! It arrived yesterday (Sunday evening)! I’m grateful! This stuff doesn’t have any bad chemicals in it to disrupt my precious hormones going full throttle! The mindfulness shouldn’t poison me! Appreciate! 👍
I’m jumping on the Patreon wagon! Thank you for considering to support me!
But also… 👀
I started a new OnlyFans – it just now got approved, I’m terrible with secrets, that’s why I’m telling you
She told me on the phone You weren’t doing good Felt good to my bone You suck at motherhood
I don’t know how we let it get this bad but we did We’ve been in fight or flight mode since a kid
Do you count the times I visit? You and the Devil in business? God as my witness I’ve been acquitted
Love don’t match the physics The rock is livid Are you good at listening? Do you think it’s christening?
Do you even miss me? Feel the hatred crippling? The hours wasting The Devil is your painting
Weapons and fingernail polish Gifts for a goddess?
There’s a river flowing through the ocean That’s where I’m going Omnidirectional I’m never chosen
What am I supposed to do father Sit around and watch in haste I watch the whole world spinning While their soul goes to waste
Murder attached to bad management Let’s call it “an accident” Near the tomb inscribed “very tragic” John Jones would claim it
I’m pretty good at bad decisions There is faith but no ambition The mirror’s not what I envision I wear a cloth but hate religion I’m making friends but not with wisdom Prayer feels like only wishing
I’m still pulling his hair from my creases He’s still putting together his thesis Wrapped up in all of me Until all life ceases
I’m cleaning out my closet I’ve got monsters on the run The walls they’ve got my claws in Digging for the sun
Hit the high ground Don’t want you around But wait don’t go Guess you can leave slow I don’t want you here But you mustn’t leave the show
Taking pride in my belongings Put a reign on the longing
Homes should come with manuals Basic do’s and don’ts – we’re animals
I don’t think the Mall should be selling adult toys. I went in for a cute hat, now I’m traumatized. Anal plugs and vibrators right next to the Lava Lamps. 😑
I transcribed your dream The message read: BE STILL But there could be a landslide On this hill Careful where you’re putting Down your gear And maybe ground your fear Just be still You need courage The end is near
I love you.
I’m living in a parallel universe Four simultaneously The search for purpose Only finding curses Weathering leather And bloodied verses Unholy wishing Gaslighting nurses Controlling lightning I come through circuit Rarely truly surface Far reaching Angelic Though sun a furnace The Devil’s hand is sternness I’m too damn earnest
Homeostasis The racist call me racist His poetry as an oasis I’m running out of patience
Invite only I’m growing lonely
They’re planning an invasion The Asians
It’s like he’s pushing me to the edge So he can follow suit And if I leap from the ledge It’s something he’ll pursue
Dating is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store
“Problem loading content” Not sure where hope went He’s rarely present These halls are haunted
My hair is 1000% homegrown from my skull yah know… (I’d let you be the keeper of my bones)
I need less resistance But I keep pushing the distance Confusing the algorithm Changing logistics
And he’s persistent Budding appearance Creating division Swollen and twisted
How to not fall into a pit – I haven’t learned it
There’s a spider living near me He keeps building webs And though I’m surely cleaning He knows my habits well (true story)
Every mirror is haunted with my reflection
I’m suffocating Crawling through your mines 120 meters inside 30 feet below a deadline
How to create healthy boundaries instead of building walls? How to find stillness instead of crawling down the halls?
He’s sabotage Removes my camouflage
One second applause Then next dislodge
Knows just what I want His hand will taunt
I got your message Unintentionally I felt your presence Was it meant for me?
Earth will become hell I’m holding the seventh seal All of heaven will fall silent I’m not here to heal
My closet is full of dead dreams The drawers filled with hurting The handles broke and dirty I’m over 40….
I was born with an extra vertebrae I got the death jab They altered my DNA Feel I can close hell’s gateway The more they order The less I obey People dropping dead Next month is my birthday Some call me evil God I won’t betray
He’s running circles Watching me evolve Climbing crimson skies He knows how hard I fall
Fall down seven times Get up eight I’m morally bankrupt With a penny on my plate
It’s like I’m crawling into a sinking ship, and he’s dying to come with…? 👀
Sometimes he leaves me breadcrumbs of where he’s been Maybe kisses of magic Maybe stitching in havoc I’m here idling
I’m looking at star trails And I’m burning all my matches Leaving webs for what he catches Or a map leading to more spells?
John is down here with me I talk to him like he’s living
These guys out there buying fake diamonds And truth is like silence
Have you found the secret book? It’s a world of deceit Well I’ve ripped your pages Feel incomplete for what I took
13 months of 28 days
With an added day of resurrection
13 constellations
Hesitating every direction
365 days of lost conception
SEPT equals seven OCT falls on eight Allow me to elaborate
NOV enduring nine DEC is ten JAN means eleven Your eyes look just like heaven FEB is twelve I know you’d love me if you didn’t serve yourself MAR ends with thirteen April is for birthing! (the starting one) Now count them up April is the first month We’re living a different time
APRIL IS THE FIRST MONTH, THE CALENDAR IS 13 – feel free to check the star charts – the sky – whatever you want – 13 constellations – tell the Devil he’s losing time – he’s not getting mine 😈
The truth don’t lie – Neo open your eyes
SEPT MEANS SEVEN NOT MOTHERFUCKING NINE 👍👍
13 x 28 = 365 (you’re welcome) (don’t forget the plus one to grow on – resurrection)
LEVEL UP ASCENSION GOD MODE ON (humbly and universally) (you die in the Matrix, you die for real for real) (have fun)
Shut the eyes of trespassers The sun is down all day Antarctica is turning red My tongue careless what to say
Can you lead me heavenwards I don’t show lines of grey But you’re like a figurehead I am lost either way
He’s like a shutter rarely open Torrential rainfall in the forest If your lens is in focus We’re really hopeless
Freckled spots among the leafless Limbs are growing Though we’re porous
With constant flooding Accumulation of our fears Without love So malnourished
Nothing but a debris field I hope he lives here Larger than the ocean I really need him
self-portrait circa June 2022
You’re a sentinel program sent to destroy Age 36 but still a boy
Go through the ceremony but don’t get the certificate Get married but don’t have the state involved with it Give them details but don’t get specific Crash into depression, but tell everyone you’re terrific
I’ve got a bad attitude but maybe I’m not bad And if you see me smiling, it’s likely that I’m sad
God or wild beast – my prayers heard the least
He seems to hate me with contempt The lines were crossed Up went a fence
The sign read not welcome Whatever I did I forget
SHE KNOWS I KNOW YOU KNOW WE KNOW SOMETHING OR SO
We are the Bermuda triangle 🔺
Intense radiation heat can leave behind a shadow. Poetry or portfolio. You are my meadow.
All the laughing, excitement and sensationalizing on someone’s sorrow; They don’t have a moral compass to follow.
I’m basically housebound with this illness. My health is up and down. My mental health is suffering. I continue to practice mindfulness but I swear I feel my depression is growing worse. I’m practicing gratitude more. I’m trying to live in the now but it’s growing extremely difficult with the current establishment. I’m lost but then I’m found. I’m compassionate and then I’m swimming in darkness and hate.
self-portrait April 2021
All the neighbors are getting along. Hello we continue to mumble. We’re getting letters on our doors on if we’re in “good standing” or not. Everything is a dictatorship. Every turn the burn of a whip.
AND I’M FUCKING INSANE
I might as well start coloring the walls.
I am simultaneously moving and not moving at the same time.
“Well, this can go in a box, we won’t be here forever”.
“Well this might as well get put away, we can stick around for awhile”.
It’s a fucking insane asylum in here.
But, I’m working on getting my extra bedroom organized and re-done.
I got my trampoline back those motherfuckers stole my goddamn fucking key and lock.
And I mean this was a lock I didn’t want to lose, I even got the CEO involved and those motherfuckers stole my goddamn lock anyway.
I got to lose sleep, several nights of sleep, over the fact that my lock got stolen.
Every conversation to God: “this is hell and I’m a monster” 😩
I don’t know how to be a human, I don’t even know how to exist in the same room as another person.
Shit is deep
I don’t even know who you are and I can’t live without you.
I’m a mean girl
I don’t wanna be nice
But I’m in intense therapy which extends outside the office visit hours
It requires constant self-reflection and control
It’s exhausting and not at all easy re-programming yourself to not be self-serving
Or completely fucked up from previous traumas
And I got to continue to hear on TikTok about how women are obsolete over the age of 40
Women have been obsolete since they started their fucking periods… 🖕
I’m getting back to rebounding soon tho – I rescued my trampoline and I’m gonna go back to rebounding at home. I am small and petite but would like to work on my booty gains. It won’t ever be picture perfect. I’m a mama with stretch marks and saggy boobs! ✌️
I don’t really get to play the role of mama tho unfortunately.
I don’t get to be a human at all.
Your porn and propaganda is working.
Shame you don’t have the willpower to be who you were meant to be.
And I’m sick of everybody with the same personality. It’s a cult. 👀
I want to play dress up again and be more proactive in the blogging community but I’m still fighting for my life.
And I can’t help but cry about the state of everything.
And your poetry brings me life.
Are you performing anywhere?
Do you appreciate your fans?
(*whispers* please do an audiobook so I can fall asleepto you)
You feel that way too, that women are obsolete over 40?
He said we can all have our cats 😑
I’m trying not to disappear so – it would be nice to hear your voice for a change instead
You do everything so perfectly how hard could it be
I’m over 40 so I’m supposed to be obsolete now but I don’t even have a grey fucking hair
*jumps from bridge*
But that great white has been revisiting so I could just you know take a dive out there into the ocean- it would be really easy to get swallowed up in that tide like that 14-year-old last week or that great white who is taking bites out of Human’s
He’s big too
What a way to meet your fears
I’d probably have a heart attack before he’d get near
I freak out just seeing the tide at the seawall 👀
I might be out there in the morning watching sunrise
I’m parting galaxies to say goodbye Dark energy is a force that repels But space was occupied And like the The Great Attractor You’re 300,000,000 million light-years wide
So change is hard. Reprogramming requires commitment. Daily sacrifice. Stopping negative thoughts. Mindfulness. You gotta climb after that shit like Mount Everest. YOU GOTTA WANT IT.
“But I like being sinister”. You’ve never tried anything else. And that’s the Devil talking. You should be put down. Like a homeless pet. Or an animal with the taste for human blood.
You shouldn’t be allowed to wander the streets of a “civilized society”. 🙄
Personally, I’m under development currently.
UNDER CONSTRUCTION
I want to learn to exist with another when the time comes.
I also need a class on organization or for somebody to help me but I am still trying to figure it all out.
Windows open. Fresh air. Detoxing on Apple Cider Vinegar and Black Walnut & Wormwood DAILY
I MADE IT THROUGH ANOTHER NIGHT
I’M GOING TO TRY TO MAKE IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAY
I don’t have any design skills
I move furniture and things around from one spot to another
There’s got to be some better order
I hang things up with thumb tacks
Curtain’s are a foreign concept
I’ll eat food cold from the can 😑
Some people are rich and eat from pizza boxes while judging from their empty thrones
I’m always cleaning but the house is never clean He explained his reason but I don’t know what it means I keep on dusting but there’s dust thick on the screen I read his poetry and consume it like proteins 👀
I call to him Through wind and pen And like the Tower of Babel He’s comes crumbling
I’m not allowed to communicate with him in any form So the moon grows full And the earth will storm
Sometimes God destroys things out of anger Like my love for you that would linger Because love won’t set you free tied to an anchor The devil acts a friend though he’s a stranger
The next person that boasts they’ve reached Christ consciousness, I’m going to ask them to show me their fucking crucifixion scars
If they fail to comply, I’m going to crucify them UPSIDE DOWN
PART VAMPYRE
I got the elite blood
One of the rarest and eldest in existence
I’m not an organ donor, never will be 👀
You can’t have any parts alive or dead
FUCK OFF
These motherfuckers can’t even live without their Fitbits
Fallen Angel technology
YOU NEED TO DEBUG
UNPLUG
YOU’VE BEEN WARNED
Espionage is everywhere
Byeeee
P.S. stop calling this CIVILIZATION when porn breeds MONSTERS
It’s gaslighting
And guys are so egotistical and think we want the dick so bad that we’ll slave for them cooking, cleaning, raising children, working all day and night, while they make minimal effort but maximum stress
The divorce rate ever increasing
It ain’t looking good over here
Men don’t understand why I’m single and never married
Uhm PORN
I want a partner when I’m ready
Not a manchild
You won’t eat at my kitchen but God is fucking burning down monuments for me so fuck you
Thank you so much for the sweet donation that I received over the weekend
I’m trying to center, I’m trying to find my calm in all this
Any activity causes my heart to hurt
Especially getting angry
I’m still sorting through the mental and financial collapse
Folks don’t realize I lost my entire retirement savings – and regular savings.
Years and years of retirement savings gone
So the immigrants could have my job
The cops here say, “it’s federal, nothing we can do”
DICTATORSHIP
Trust me, I’m well known as “red flagged” to the establishment
They know I’ve moved over into the homicidal territory
Armed and dangerous and you’re still not gonna take my right to buy a weapon or to hold one or to fire one
Do you remember when they tried to outlaw alcohol and that law completely failed – yeah try to do that with our guns China – go for it – try to do it, try to take our guns from us, try it, try to put it on paper that we can’t even buy a gun and see what happens, go for it – try it, I dare you! I triple fucking dare you!!
This whole fucking thing is going to collapse if they don’t get off my dick
😇
Pro life tip: You should never tip before you are served
This whole generation of TIP ME NOW AND BEFORE I’VE DONE MY JOB IS BULLSHITE
I hate these fucking policies
And do you know how much effort it is taking me to get my account and data deleted from the Chipotle app? It’s insane!
I’ll never download another app for anything
It should not be this hard to delete yourself from the web
JESUS CHRIST SAVE ME NOW
Has anyone ever unscrambled it? Is it like an anagram for the Devil?
That book of lies
6000 years of gaslighting and dictatorship
I’m DONE
I want to sell my TV and get a DUMB phone.
The problem is, if you get a home line, the only calls you will get are from politicians and the cops wanting money from you because it’s all a fucking scam. And you can’t opt out
Just like we can’t opt out our private home addresses from receiving spam mail for junk food and that is why the Amazon rainforest is being cut down
Immigration is a Trojan horse
When do we save Mother Earth and ourselves
Oh but you have your porn!!!!!!
Porn has rotted your heart and brain!
In other news, I got my printer set up in my master bedroom now. I guess dying makes it harder to manage a household. But whatev.
The black ink is out, but I got the new driver installed on my MacBook so that was a feat in itself. My laptop is aware of the printer and vice versa.
I also have plenty of professional paper to print on, once I sort out the black ink.
I’ve been pulling rare collectibles and other items I plan to list on the eBay – it’s like having an online garage sale.
I have some cool stuff that belong in the hands of someone who will use it. It’s extremely hard for me to part with, but I have bigger goals now tho.
Like being a land owner 👍
Learning how to grow & harvest food
I’m sick of advertising and TV!!!!
I rarely play games
I’m not into entertainment anymore
There’s too much propaganda and busy busy going on
I just want to chill
What the narcissist think is “boring”, is actually just peace
It’s serenity
They don’t want us anywhere near it
It’s poke prod poke prod tee hee I don’t have a fucking soul
“I was joking”
*rolls eyes
It ain’t the disabled vets causing all this disruption and corruption tho
I know y’all like to blame us and pick on us tho…
I also know white people are blamed for the worlds problems – propaganda 101
If u white, u hated for your skin
And then they force us to live next to one another, packing us in like cattle
Watching the slaughter unfold
The immigrants don’t even have to work hard at stealing our country…
Still detoxing. Still having chest pains. Still emo as fuck. Still up and down with my sister dying a few months ago. Try having your blood sister die while you’re in the middle of a fall out with your entire family so you will never find closure.
Men treat me like a sex object
I’ve never had a father/husband/brother figure
But I’ve had many proposals, “you’ll never have to work again…”
As if, cleaning and cooking isn’t work
Or raising a child, managing a household
As if taking care of a man isn’t a job
“Women got it easy”
And worse, if they think you are pretty, they think everything was handed to you on a silver platter, because beauty bias exists
Furthermore, men don’t want a friendship with me, they want sex. If they aren’t getting sex, they’re good as ghost.
It’s only hell because we’ve been in a 6000-year-old worldwide prison system based on that BOOK
And that same establishment continues to tweak its policies until you’ll believe they are the creator of you, with your OOOH AHHHH Fitbits
They use gaslighting, lovebombing, triangulation to control
With politicians, actors, influencers, teachers, preachers, cops
It’s disgusting
“But if you work hard you can own a home”
That was the Great Lie the Boomer generation sold
Then Ghosted an entire fucking generation after we’ve been the most dedicated, the most hard working, and ORIGINAL
And we watch all the younger generation’s steal our fucking content and give us no credit – and the Boomers reward them with free housing or financial assistance
The rest of us are out here winging it, living on the fucking streets, in our campers, eating one meal a day, so we can buy some fucking land before it’s too late…
Starting communities
I don’t want 5G or anywhere around it
It’s a cancer
Fuck this New Age digital world, I don’t want any part of this future
Where I don’t even have freedom of speech or my art protected
These men preyed and preyed and preyed sexually upon my best friend who died by suicide and she was 13
I’ll never recover
Her birthday was May 1
She died April 7, 1993 (just shy of her 14th birthday)
357 magnum to the head
Lost the last letter she wrote me
But there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her and if I had pictures of her I wouldn’t have them stored away like everybody else who wants to forget her
And Miley Ray Cyrus sounds just like her but Miley Ray Cyrus wasn’t born but we did get to meet her dad together Billy Ray Cyrus so that was pretty fun
Mems.
There’s a picture of them floating around somewhere, not online or anything
We met lots of bands together
Pre cellphone days
I can barely even prove that she existed, there’s just this hole in my gut
They preyed upon me too baby girl
This world is too much
You were so brave
Braver than me
I wish I had your courage to die
The Judge knew I was suicidal in 2018 and wouldn’t even talk to me until I took a few breaths
She said in front of the entire courtroom that I looked like I was about to jump from the bridge behind me
Also, I had a weapon upon arrival that I didn’t know – when trying to enter – and the cop repeated the question 3 times – I laughed – “wait, do I have one?” and I did. A little mini nail file thingy that I got in the mail by the Wounded Warrior project lol
So before I could even go into the courtroom I had to walk my little mini knife all the way back to my vehicle… and then return
And by the time I made it to the Judge – good lord the humility of being sued
By the end of the session we had the entire courtroom laughing, me and the Judge..
She directly explained to me how they could get my money tho… which is untouchable
Like if I wanted to buy a plane ticket right now and just fly somewhere, the government could be like oh no oh no you you fucking owe us some money come here bitch we’re going to take your plane flight
But it must suck for the men who want to prey on me and take my money because I can get married and divorced and they can’t touch it
You can’t touch what I earned but they can keep raising my rent and the food costs… FYI
The suicide rate continues to increase among military and Veterans
Somebody recently sent me 20 bucks and I bought me some medicinals 👍
I know this isn’t my best work, I just woke up crying and I decided to put it into a poem so I just freestyle got this off my chest…
I’m okay 👍👍
Saddest girl in the world (squared)
Side note: I’m making right with my creditors and it was only for a little bit. But they can’t directly dock my check.
Sometimes I can write decently… I rarely re-share my own works because I haven’t took a break or stopped writing or fell on writer’s block
But I should re-visit my writings and get them on TikTok so TikTok can threaten to remove all my content and keep me on a low vibrational frequency like all these other apps do… 
It’s a re-post, so if you want to read the poem, you gotta click that little hyperlink above ✌️
Also, I’m sorry for my terrible behavior in the blogging community, I was full of fucking big Pharma and suicidal
PoeEternal 