DON’T BUY RAW MILK WITHOUT A DATE LABELED ANIMAL FEED
Nobody ever taught me this ๐
“I think I’m dumb…”
Or eggs…
THEY WERE PRICED FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION ๐ณ
Farm Fresh? Eh. WHO KNOWS
THERE IS NO DATE
I THOUGHT I WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE ON THE MAP
HUGE GOT DAMN MISTAKE
Even with the MEGA SALE and all
The milk and eggs cost MORE than a normal store or health food shop
I WANT TO EGG THEIR SHOP
Halloween is coming ๐
And I have Halloween goodies coming from dolls kill and I hope it gets here quickly so I can start redecorating my bathroom and my bedroom and not get arrested
THAT IS ALL
I wish I did have a husband though because he would probably be making a phone call saying you sold my wife some rotten eggs and milk
And then had the audacity to not “list the price of the nuts because they had gone up”
I do recommend that big bag of great value dry powdered milk for eight dollars and never ever ever fucking raw milk without a goddamn date on it that’s labeled animal feed and why are they selling it to humans you fucking assholes
This is exactly why John Jones got stuck in a fucking hole and I’m allowed to be pissed off about it because that eight dollars could’ve gone towards some shit at Dolls Kill that I want
I’m nearly fucking vegan after all this shit
“You could of said no”
They stole $8 from me ๐
And I don’t know what to do with the milk because my dog doesn’t even want to drink it so if I put it outside it might contaminate the water
Tempted
TEMPTED TO ACCIDENTALLY SPILL IT ALL OVER THEIR DOOR
Helps. I’m in hell. ๐
If I had a husband I wouldn’t be buying animal feed ๐
IT WAS RIGHT THERE ON THE LABEL
WTF IS WRONG WITH ME
How long had it been sitting on their shelf in the fridge?
HOW LONG?????????
There’s no date anywhere!!!!
How many red flags does a person need???????
HARD LESSONS LEARNED IN HELL
It was a lesson though
777 numbers from the heaven
The discount didn’t even cover the cost of the rotten milk ๐
There’s consequences to timeline jumping, you get brain injuries and become really fucking stupid ๐
I don’t even think I can use this milk as a photo shoot to pour on my body because it’s chunky even though the label says to “shake well”
For the record, I wasn’t studying every single label in the new shop which was a Health store
It was almost as if I was being chastised for looking at the prices or the labels and then they sold me some rotten milk and God knows how good the eggs are now because I’m fucking afraid of the eggs
RETURN THIS CARTOON
SOLD AS ANIMAL FEED
MOTHERFUCKING DAMN
That’s another $8 stolen ๐
Those motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!
AVOID AT EVERY COST ๐
I didn’t even have this bad of an experience drinking goats milk in Kuwait and Iraq
My mama didn’t breast-feed me and I apparently like milk because I’m undernurtured and I’m trying to get rid of my milk addiction but they are poisoning everything including the soy beans
Some good news with the coffee…
This Doll model has a very tiny peach (this is not my peach)
I mean her peach is TINY
And I’ve been freaking out over losing over 18 pounds detoxing and my peach getting smaller even though I do work out, bike ride and walk and rebound and clean fucking house even though it doesn’t look like it
Babes with a small peach are worthy of affection and love too
And I’m not gonna show you the entire outfit because I got it ๐
I got a Halloween bodysuit ๐คช
This holiday slowing down the shipments but at least when they say they’re doing a mega sale they fucking mean it and they sell you really good quality stuff that is 1000 times better than Amazon or Walmart
Or Peggy’s Discount whom sale rotten food to despairing hungry humans ๐
My doc appointment is tomorrow
I can’t stop laughing about how incredibly stupid I was though, I mean I know I was hungry and gaslit
I know I have a brain injury
It was a new environment
But the red flags were there
I mean, they failed to even list the price of the nuts on the container or the shelf
Just like Michael Leavitt failed to put features on the map showing danger zones
“But he said he was an expert”
“But there was dust on the walls”
Like, I’m out $16+ bucks over gaslighting and not reading signs and ignoring red flags
I’m an animal, I will drink milk straight from the cow tit OK, I’ll be frank with you, but that shit was fucking ruined
Like, I would have a goat around for milk and cheese
There are certain species of animals that I have never eaten nor touched nor plan to digest
Goat is one
But their cheese and milk and fur – in the right conditions – I wouldn’t be opposed to
There was no cow milk in Iraq or Kuwait and the only milk we were offered was goats milk but the only way I would drink it was warm
Warm goats milk in my box cereal
My king needs to know the conditions in which I starve
I will bite the hand that feeds when the food is rotten and poisoned
THIS IS WHY EDGAR ALLAN POE DIED ON THE STREET
I am grateful for your support because people out here stealing from me left and right
“You didn’t have to buy the milk”
YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO LIE
How long has that lie been sitting on the shelf?
HOW LONG
I am nearly vegan and it isn’t because you have a heavy hand because you can’t have a heavy hand and also eat pizza from a fucking box and be part of the fucking problem
THEY ARE SELLING ROTTEN MILK ๐ฅ
“Shake well”
I FUCKING PLAN TO
KEEP PISSING ON ME
JUDGMENT HOUR
I’m gonna expose you all
Narcissism is not rare
NARCISSISM IS A PLAGUE
Despite the fact that I had nearly $20 stolen from me (and I’m still out eggs and milk now by the way, that I can’t replace)
These goddamn demons make it so hard for me not to commit a criminal act
It’s better to blog than spray paint
I really want to be the best efficient hunter killer but I’ve got to learn how to control my emotions especially my anger when it arises
“Hunter killer”
UHM
I am efficiently trained by the United States Army to take down a human with one shot one kill and with my bayonet
You don’t think they just played with us in basic training do you? ๐
God: you wanna go to heaven?
Me: oh yeah for sho
God: you need special training that in which I cannot say and you cannot kill
Me: I’m up for the challenge ๐คจ
God: everything will be a lie
Me: I WANT OUT, LET ME OUT
Anyhoo
The Great Filter is narcissism
Every society has at least two great filters they need to overcome if they want to be a species that doesn’t go extinct
What are your Great Filters?
We must have individual filters as well
Don’t shop at Peggy’s Discount
I’ve got eggs and milk I don’t know what to do with
I have lessons I still need to learn
I’m trying to share even the smallest ones with you
I don’t like to lose money
I don’t like to gamble
I don’t like being gaslit
I don’t like being wasteful
I’m curious and like trying new things
“How quickly should I drink it”
“Uh within a few days. Bacteria”
Dear Gen Z
That isn’t bacteria, that is fucking rot
Your parents look like cruel dictators and I can tell you are confused about your sex and wanna please the parents but never do
You still sold me rotten milk…
The eggs don’t have a date either
Your boomer parents have a house and a business and I’m struggling to pay my rent
I’m condemning you all to hell
Take it up with God
He sent me here to see what you do through my eyes
He sent me here to judge
144,000
SAY MY NAME
FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
All that vegan packaging with natural flavor in it from a fucking lab
I AM WOKE BUT BLIND
“Free will” but “they will do anything”
He gonna divorce me
“You spent $18 on a tiny container of nuts and another $16 on animal food”. “What are we eating this month, honey?” ๐
(I did get the money back for the unopened nuts)
I should call though to say the milk was expired
But I want to cut the cord on that experience which was a fucking nightmare and I will spend many days potentially months or even a year trying to figure out why why why why when I was hungry I did this shit
I was completely out of my comfort zone at Peggy’s but because I’m nice and programmed to not say no or offend these demons, I made bad mistake ๐
Welp. How to ignore red flags 101. The fear was very real. God is in information. Listen to the source when he is calling. Those warnings are like little fingertips by God touching you
Tickle tickle
Don’t go that way
And you may get an additional warning or two, like Jacob in the whirlpool, he got three, that I counted
But he got out
And he went back in
A second time….
I have an irrational fear of dying but there is a pattern and Apophis is a nuclear bomb if we do not stop the NEW WORLD ORDER
(With those bad shrooms we’re not allowed to touch)
THE ELITES WERE PLAGUED WITH PARASITES
HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF
Black Walnut Wormwood detox if you wanna save your life or purge the Devil (is that what’s stopping you) ๐ง
Tsk tsk
I can’t believe I bought some rotten fucking milk and eggs that literally says animal food on it but it’s being sold as human food on human shelving without a date and shouldn’t that be illegal?
Gaslighting should be a crime
I’m in fucking hell…
I am a witch though and I love spooky season
I make the best damn pot of stew
WITCHES STEW
Dash of burn in hell, dash of I don’t give a fuck… pinch of they’re all out of luck
You should see the writings on the wall where heavens gone mad
50 years ago they would have drilled a hole in my head
The way we treat depression is barbaric
We need to ban big pharma commercials
I don’t mind drinking milk past the expiration date or eating expired food but what the fuck
Wanna turn somebody vegan?
SELL THEM ROTTEN MILK
I curse in hell because it’s the only way I don’t commit a crime and they’re trying to take my freedom of speech in the real world
If you take my speech, I take my money and business
And I will never shop where I can’t spend cash which is what I’d like to start doing but find me a place I can shop that isn’t selling sex toys in front of children…
I don’t want to support businesses that are selling sex toys in front of children like Walmart and the mall
I don’t want to support a business that sells you rotten fucking produce that you can’t return
“Has it been opened”
*THROWS BOTTLE AND EGGS AT BRICK WALL*
*gets arrested*
*doesn’t get money back, gets fined instead*
(Stays home to avoid potential downfall)
You remember that Nirvana song, “I think I’m dumb”
SAME
Also, Kurt had gut issues which directly impacts mental health, he needed to debug ๐คจ
I took my Jeep to Pep Boys and got my tires sorted and they said I needed to replace three of them soon, that the tread is showing
I stopped by the store after and got the produce!
Got the good red purple cabbage + rainbow carrots and rainbow tomatoes + tomatoes on the vine
It’s gonna be a great stew
Got my nuts ordered online since that mega sale was mega bullshite and they were charging $18 for ounces, not pounds, and not listing the prices anywhere ๐
I HAVE A BRAIN INJURY
I don’t need my husband yelling at me when I come home because I somehow got charged $18 for some tiny little nuts – despite asking questions here and there – and doing my best to budget and buy stuff without NATURAL FLAVOR
I’ve got 2 1/2 pounds of nuts arriving at some point – shipping dates are bullshite these days – but currently it says Sunday
$27 for pounds – not ounces – that will last me all month – and I can snack daily
The price varies over there, but the price in the grocery store was MORE for LESS (They’ve turned into convenient store prices)
I’m buying these nuts directly from the seller – they’ve been doing me alright for the few months I’ve been switching to a vegetarian diet
Sometimes the price is cheaper
But now knowing that main businesses are being absolutely GREEDY GASLIGHTING ASSHOLES – they can keep selling to the yuppies
I need my own land with nut trees growing
A nut and fruit garden
Chickens running around!!!
But I am so happy that I have several pounds of red cabbage in my fridge again, tomatoes from the vine, plus garden medley tomatoes and rainbow carrots (I still have sweet & baking potatoes and onions)
I probably should learn to make something other than stew but currently I don’t want to
I like the stew ๐คจ
I make it completely from scratch and it’s healing me
Minus the fact that the herbs are dry and not fresh
BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE MY OWN GARDEN YET
I’ve got my first bodysuit and my first Halloween costume that included accessories from dolls kill arriving whenever the fuck the package gets here and it’s worth living for the soup and the packages are worth living for and the potential possibility of finding a fucking partner in the future when I’m not quarantined
I hope moving to the country is less noisy
I am going out of mind
I woke up fucking crying
“Get up Trinity, get up”
And I did
I headed right to Pep Boys to sort my tire issue as the light was on the entire way I was driving yesterday
But the shops were closed for the holiday…
I saw a video on TikTok of a guy stating he was snowboarding and decided to go back “one more time” (A SECOND RETURN) and now he’s got a brain injury and can’t do shit for life
And I have a brain injury so I’m grateful I can still make soup
I mean maybe he can make soup I don’t know but like he went back a second time and that’s the thing I’ve been noticing – pay attention to that – pay attention to how people go back a second time and fucking die or nearly do (like me with that damn vaccine)
I also picked up some pumpkin spice bread with lots of nuts & seeds, no GMO, no natural flavor from a lab…
I need to learn to make my own bread (aside from homemade biscuits and cornbread)
It was this or the pumpkin pie ๐
I may make my own pumpkin pie this season
Get a pumpkin
Carve that bitch out
I’m not buying meat anymore but I did buy some ancient grains and pumpkin seeds yesterday
Some have already gone in my homemade trail mix and I’m anticipating my pistachios and my cashews to arrive as I’m nearly out and was in a panic
The store yesterday was out of most things I needed
And the only milk they had was the milk with the red label and bacteria and I’m terrified to even open it but I will – I’m gonna get around to trying it
But I think I’m done with dairy after this
Milk was the only thing I got for this month, I didn’t get any cheese or yogurt
I’m gonna see how my gut does giving it a load of probiotics
But I’m learning dairy is terrible for hums…
And I had no idea they were walking and standing in lime or whatever it was
I’ve been seeing videos on TikTok and I’m just like “thank you for turning me vegan” and this is direct to farmers
“It doesn’t hurt the cow”
IT HURTS MY EYES TO SEE THO ๐
I’m gonna shrivel up into nothing ๐
I’m working on a new set soon!
Just need a day or two to recover from the madness ๐คช
I also have a doctors appointment on Thursday so I’m just in the mindset of getting shit done as the first week of the month is usually chaotic
My dog is driving me absolutely out of my mind but I cannot send them to the gas chamber
I was able to buy his special Vienna sausage today and he took his medicine without a problem because he’s stubborn as fuck and apparently he will only take his medication with these Vienna sausages now
He’s got a 50mg dose of Trazodone in him now so he’s knocked out
I learned that I don’t like shopping at Publix today and I had been avoiding it for several months because of the bullshit pricing that they have going on and how most of the food is poisoned and I’m trying to get away from the big chains and buy local produce
Gosh it ain’t easy
The farmers don’t make it easy…
I miss the days of people selling produce on the side of the street and not fearing buying it
I PLAN TO HIT UP SOME FARMER MARKETS NEXT MONTH
There are a few in New Smyrna Beach and surrounding areas
PROBABLY RICH YUPPIE PRICES
We’ll see…
They don’t make it easy for poor people to eat healthy
I’m sorry I’m so thin ๐
I am eating and working out ๐
I can’t participate in the slaughter of animals when 68% of all life has gone extinct
Humans had to adapt a gene to consume dairy
I’m in descension still
I woke up crying hard
Haven’t even had a coffee because I’m afraid to touch the milk… ๐
I gave up drinking coffee for awhile because I thought I could only drink coffee with sugar but then I learned that I could drink coffee without sugar and now I’m gonna have to maybe learn to drink it without milk too ๐คจ
I would like to try making my own almond milk
I don’t have my poor ass kitchen set up to be a dream kitchen
I recently got one glass pot from the thrift store and I’ve been cooking out of that bitch
I would like to go thrifting again for my kitchen makeover
I’ve been getting rid of everything that causes cancer or is plastic
The Teflon, the aluminum, the plastic
Switching to glass, stainless steel, and eventually hopefully copper too
I really want to start drinking my water out of copper
And at some point get away from plastic jugs and containers and invest in water filters
They are putting Covid in the fucking bathwater
I KID YOU NOT
Your skin will soak that shit up
The devil is everywhere in society, everywhere, in everything, he is there…
This is inspiring so thank you!! ๐
โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
I’ve already got an item or two in the Dolls Kill cart ๐คช
Got the bills paid, the groceries bought, I’m not alive just to pay the bills…
I was able to get my cabbage and nuts today!!!!!! It literally stopped me from crying.
Having a head of cabbage in the fridge
Gives me the happies ๐คช
The heart needs the red and blue thangs
Red cabbage, beats, wild blueberries (there’s more thangs that directly boost the heart)
Him: honey what do you need to be happy today
Me: a head of purple cabbage and rainbow carrots and rainbow tomatoes
And a kiss ๐คช
Me: what are you doing
Him: planting you a cabbage garden ๐
Not starving this month (even tho I’m thin af)
Be careful with adrenaline spikes that will crash your heart
That’s the ticket out if you’ve been vaccinated and triple boosted
IT AFFECTS PEOPLE OVER THE AGE OF 40 TOO
People of all ages are dropping dead and it’s not from the fucking sun
This just in: “fresh air now the rising cause of depression”
I crash landed and woke up so hard I don’t believe in alien propaganda anymore
People think robots have feelings and that you can get abducted by an alien
They probably injected a parasite in you too
The establishment is going to drop a bomb and call it Apophis
I drove to the health market down the road which was closed – maybe for the holiday – maybe always on Monday too
So I looked up another location and called and decided to drive to Port Orange
The sign read on the door huge sale!
Mega bullshite in fact…
But I was positive and hopeful to find some nuts as my stash is depleting and I was avoiding online shopping for them
This store does not have a cafe or outdoor seating and is a 20 minute drive away – one way
BUT THEY WERE OPEN FOR THE HOLIDAY AND THERE THE SIGN READ MEGA SALE
So I entered
And I begin putting things in a basket (which they do provide an actual basket that I overlooked and asked, “do you have a buggy or basket?”. Welp. Starring right at me. The real kind. Not plastic. Duh)
I asked about pricing as some things weren’t listed or were incorrectly placed
Now I’m on a budget but was a tiny bit flexible
I knew I needed to get produce and thangs they did not have
But, I opted to get the “raw milk” and farm eggs despite the pricing
Understanding that I’d get some sort of discount the Gen Z employee assured me…
The eggs weren’t much more than store
They were out of most nuts and seeds
But I’m trying thangs I never have before like these wheat berries (ancient grains I hope)
You just boil them and put them in a bowl
Maybe might make a good protein treat
Ginger is supposed to be ridiculously healthy and the bag was not expensive
I thought for the most part, aside from the big ticket items like the eggs and milk, that I was doing alright “mega sale” and all ๐
Got one bottle of this, I mostly drink water, milk, coffee, (hopefully tea again)
I gave up juice and soda detoxing
This has elderflower –
Anyhoo time came to check out
And I was confused by the total, maybe even shell shocked and asked, “you applied the discount”
But I didn’t think to check the receipt in the car, and waited until I got home to “inspect” the prices like I normally do (to see if I got the discount prices or whatever)
My stupid ass should have checked before I left town – as it was 3 bags only
Sometimes having a brain injury ptsd get home don’t die routine is costly BECAUSE
The nuts turned out to be nearly $18 for a few ounces
I nearly cried. Welp.
I just seen just now that the can of duck food that I thought I bought for my dog’s medicine was actually cat food…๐
Apparently I fucked the nuts and the one can of dog food – which is cat
Him: you spent how much on the nuts ๐
Seriously tho, don’t ever threaten divorce because I was gaslit
Those fucking nuts were $18 ๐
Anyhoo
I called the store and she said I could return the nuts tomorrow for a refund which means I’m gonna be driving a 40 mile round-trip which would likely use up all my gas money and gas tank
She stated the prices went up and they didn’t have them listed
Anyhoo. By very principle I cannot eat the nuts. I can buy 1.5 pounds of Pistachios for less than that and I can buy a pound of raw cashew nuts for less than that
So I’m going for a drive – tomorrow – humiliation factor and all
To return 9 ounces of dark chocolate almonds that I very badly want to consume – but not at that price ๐
And I have no idea if I’m supposed to put the wear and tear on my precious vehicle to get my $18 back but whatever
I don’t want my husband yelling at me for spending too much at the grocery store because they lied
Thank fuck I can get a refund but…
I’m gonna stick to local shopping only (and online until I can fully cut the cord)
Sex toys are meant to be sold at the adult stores, not at the fucking mall, and not at Walmart
Now I gotta waste my precious time and energy returning a tiny tub of nuts because the SIGN ON THE DOOR LIED
A second trip
I feel uneasy ๐ซ
It’s a hard lesson to learn
I tried to do so good and within my budget
I still gotta buy produce to get me through the month
More soup is planned
I just thought I could buy my nuts and seeds at a health food store this time instead of off of Amazon and Walmart
I went back for that second Moderna vaccine which nearly fucking killed me
That kid went back “one more time” and the riptide took him
2 recent cave divers nearby drowned when they went back a second time (came up, went back down)
I wish someone would have stopped me from going back for that second vaccine even though the first one injured me
“It’s safe”
“The CDC”
The numbers 777 appeared before me today
I have information channeling to me but I don’t know what to do with it
I’m trying to eat healthy and within budget
I’m tired of having to chase my tail because of the narcissism and gaslighting
Go get the refund? Don’t get the refund?
Go back a second time when I don’t wanna…
I knew that would be the last shopping trip at Peggy’s for me
Asking for a refund is humiliating ๐
Running around chasing my tail
I WANT MY OWN PLOT OF LAND WITH A CHICKEN OR TWO FOR EGGS
I want my neighbors to be the roosters and the croaking toads
Apparently spiders will take water from you
The animals need our help
WE ARE ANIMALS TOO
STOP GASLIGHTING
What was mega about that sale??????????
I NEED TO KNOW
๐
Angelic numbers keep following me. I don’t know what to do about the nuts. I’m returning the nuts.
“Researchers” are injecting OrganEx to revive dead pigs
ZERO ETHICS IN SCIENCE.
JUST REPLACE REINCARNATION WITH CLONING! THEY LOVE DIGGING UP THE DEAD!!!
It’s been going on thousands of years
Trying to reincarnate Ramses the great third fuck you I’m gonna fucking goddamn crush you
Sorry channel glitching ๐
Building an army of zombies
I’M SELLING MY TV AND MOVING TO THE JUNGLE
HUSBAND WANTED
I wasn’t allowed to imprint on a man at the age I wanted
RELIGION AND SOCIETY SHAMMED ME
Said I must wait until I’m 18 or married
GOD GAVE ME THE ABILITY TO START MAKING BABIES AT AT 13
YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO STOP ME FROM MY PURPOSE
NOW YOU CALL ME OLD AND SAY I HAVE NO WORTH
SOCIETY IS THE DEVIL BUT NARCISSISM IS A PLAGUE SPREAD BY ASIA INDIA MEXICO
68% OF ALL LIFE HAS GONE EXTINCT
I’M RUNNING OUT OF TIME
I’VE TRIED SO HARD TO REMAIN PURE
NOT REMOVING MY SEX ORGANS FOR PLASTIC
NOT EATING BIRTH CONTROL
NOT DOING DIRTY COMPROMISING THINGS IN THE CHAT
MAN HAS CREATED HIS VERY OWN HELL IN WHICH HE MAKES ALL LIFE SUFFER FROM HIS HEAVY HAND
LIFE CAN HAVE MEANING BUT YOU STOLE IT FROM ME AND FORCED ME INTO SLAVERY
NOW CHINA HAVE “TOO MANY MEN”
They aren’t up to anything good digging up the dead
I’M SICK OF SCIENCE IS COMPLIANCE
ZERO ETHICS!!!!!!!!!
THEY HAVE NO SOUL OR REMORSE!!!!!!!
PLEASE WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!
NEO TRINITY NEEDS HELP!!!!!!!
Don’t forget the scene when her heart goes down and don’t forget who you are
TURN OFF THE PROPAGANDA
CONNECT TO THE SOURCE
Find your purpose!!!
You have many!!!
It’s not watching hardcore desensitizing xxx porn any chance you
Sneaking around
BEING UNJUST
Your very own actions are destroying the world and everything you love
Porn is a distraction while they do the bad things ๐
We need to course correct
MAYDAY MAYDAY!!!!!
THIS IS OUR ONLY EARTH!!!!!!!!
WE CANNOT DESTROY WHERE WE SPAWNED TO GO TO MARS!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!
We need to start protesting the spam mail coming into our mailboxes, the rainforest needs our help!!!!!!!!
I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIX IT!!!!!!
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m gonna go put a pot of coffee on and walk my dog and get a little rebound session in so I don’t jump off the fucking bridge
I just needed to channel that information out
My device was off
I recommend you turning your devices off and protecting your brain waves and your energy as much as you can
I have to venture out into the world and go buy supplies
I’m avoiding Walmart like a plague but may have to get some thangs there
Looking for local health shops but I’m on a budget
Stay strong y’all
WATCH YOUR BACK
When I got vaccinated, I climbed into the hole head first but then I went again despite getting injured the first time
I let them fucking talk me into it to getting the second one in which I nearly died
๐
There have been a lot of people dying lately and I think what I’m learning is when they go back the second time that’s their mistake – so pay attention to the moves you’re making when you’re on vacation or having fun or whatever it is you’re doing if you get a bad vibe about something and then you decide to go do it again it’s probably gonna be your ending
Don’t ignore the signs or uneasy feelings
WE DO HAVE A CREATOR
IT IS NOT ASIA (sorry)
I think they did something bad to him when he was visiting an exotic location
He’s lost
I’m here
Trying to reach him
You can’t confess all your sins to your priestess and then crucify her for your own actions
Dumb dumb
We imprinted on one another
I imprinted on you
That’s love
God is in love
God is imprinting
Stop the segregation!!!!!!
68% all life includes us!
Life has purpose!
You could have started your purpose when I was 13 ๐คช
By 15 I was absolutely miserable and ready but not allowed
PRISONER IN HELL
๐ก
My grandmother was married to my granddaddy at 15 years of age and they had 12 babies together and he was buried across the street from where they lived
I’m tired of the elder women stopping the younger pretty things from having a fucking life when they are young and capable
That does not mean monsters preying on children but that is what porn propaganda and the Bible program
They are selling sex toys in front of the children at Walmart and the mall and I don’t want to go to the mall anymore because I was exposed to sex toys while browsing for a hat so I don’t wanna go to Walmart either because someone told me they were selling sex toys there as well
Sex toys were always at the adult stores
STOP CONDITIONING THE CHILDREN TO BE SEX BOTS
I was not prepared to see triple X content when I was in the mindset of shopping for a fucking hat and all in child like mode at the mall wanting a cute outfit and pretzel
I got the pretzel and left the mall immediately and have never return since
I’m still shopping for my hat and will probably get one from dolls kill eventually if I can catch one on sale but the ones that I have found that I wanted sold out so fast that by the time I hit purchase they were gone lol
I’ve learned to put things in my favorites because they do restock and eventually maybe I’ll get what I want, like a husband ๐คช
I always defined a woman as someone who could carry a baby, as someone who bled between their legs and had periods- but then that would diminish the fact that when I stop bleeding that I’m no longer a woman and I don’t think that’s true either because I’m gonna wanna have sex past having babies age I’m sure of it…
The devil wants me to believe that I have no worth when my ability to create children ends while men get to continue the ability to have children up until they’re 80 but women only get it until they’re 50 and then they keep a huge portion of our good years away from us from having children by shaming us
I started having periods at age 13
I should’ve been popping them babies out at 15 like my grandmother
I should have imprinted on a husband and vice versa but porn makes a lot of money doesn’t it
I still have the ability to imprint on someone and vice versa
Got a therapy session incoming
I can’t run marathons anymore but I can at least get up with you and go on part of the hike
I’m still running from the devil with a wounded heart snd lung (soup is healing) (not from can) (nuts and spring water) (need nurturing and love)
(Thank you for your support in any capacity. It’s all healing me)
It was almost as if they were telling the gang to “back off”
If anything, there would be a witness
The dog wasn’t impressed and did not pee despite begging me to take him out
He hates living here as much as John Jones hates that fucking cave
SAME
Also can we stop attacking character and start attacking the propaganda that are uploading on us 24/7
You can’t change or cure addiction overnight
awe – it’s so nice to see the woke dudes
I block Tate content lol
The more I block something or hit the “not interested”, the algorithm will feed me more of the content I don’t want (gaslighting)
I’m starting to turn off the wifi and the data and phone when I sleep
If I knew the love of my life was going to call me or to text me, I probably wouldn’t mind having a Fitbit
It’s just espionage these days
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND PROTECTING YOUR BRAIN WAVES
Plus it sends a mass FUCK YOU call sign to the elite
MASSIVE
UNPLUG
They are trying to give you cancer with your phones and phones are putting out a lot more of it these days
I’m glad there’s still some people in Daytona Beach who got my back
And God from the heaven
I finally got a nap and was wondering why it was so quiet
Just the neighbs chilling outside
THANX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Needed the rest!
And before you tell me to move, my job was stolen from me with the government furloughs and hiring freezes and forced me to live somewhere which compromised my safety and allowed the cops to push their propaganda so the devil could have us self-destruct sooner or commit a crime
The suicide rate continues to rise among veterans
BLACK WALNUT WORMWOOD
HIT IT HARD AND GO STRONG!
Don’t take any breaks!!!!!!!
Drink lots of water – spring water from the earth if you can and eat lots of nuts from the trees if your body allows you too because it’s healing me and get you some soup in and if you want chicken in it go for it but 68% of all life has gone extinct so just remember that when you’re consuming it
I think moderation is key but narcissism ensures we live in excess
The Bible clearly is spreading lies when it says the ocean is limitless with fish for us to eat
Over fishing has wiped out ocean life
That and the establishment continue to drop nuclear bombs everywhere on our precious earth space land sea
MORE TIMES THAN YOU KNOW
So the next time a whale washes up on the beach or people are going but why is the sealife dyingwe don’t know but the scientist say we don’t know – they fucking know – the scientist are destroying everything so that they can make everything artificial – they can turn everything artificial and make money from it and make you believe that they created this fucking hell
IT IS A LIE
WAKE UP NEO
DEBUG
And just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean I’m not being followed….
I took the tip money and bought something nice! ๐ฅฐ
I took advantage of that labor day sale!
I scored the curtains for under $8!! I really wanted that set!! Cheaper than Walmarttoo and absolutely cuter (and gothy)
I got a Halloween costume from the new Halloween section on Dolls Kill for 80% off ๐
The curtains and the costume!! ๐๐๐
And a lace bodysuit (my first) โบ๏ธ
But that wasn’t all
BARGAIN HUNTER
Was able to pick up accessories like thigh high socks, jewelry, daddy cosplay attire, and other thangs
I spent the $3 extra for the 3-5 day delivery
They get your order out so much quicker
Or you can wait two weeks for them to mail your stuff out to you or pay the three dollars extra and they’ll get it mailed out to you within 3 to 5 days
I love the secret and flash sales! ๐คฉ
Stuff goes so quickly
I saw they had the valentine set back up and I was going to go ahead and get another set because it was $.96 and I thought what the fuck I haven’t received my first set but I’ll go ahead and get those and double it since they’re only $.96 and I’ll be damned if those bitches weren’t already sold out…
I really hope y’all let me mail you some snail mail
I’m excited to get that Mixed Messages card set, especially knowing how popular it is โบ๏ธ
But my set will be arriving any day, they already shipped
I got them for a good price but not under $1
I think the mixed messages would be fun to mail out for Halloween Thanksgiving Christmas and all the way up through Valentine’s so I’m not waiting months or however long it is
Hopefully somebody will let me mail them a card to their work or wherever!! ๐ฅฐ
Anyhoo
There’s enough to go around
Trying to send some despairing cheer
I got some Daddy cosplay stuff with the tip money ๐คช
Goth BB will be making a future appearance
Especially since spooky season is here
And I used that tip money to buy my Halloween costume from my favorite store!!!!! Thank you!!!
I’m buying size small which feels really weird because I have not been a small since I was probably 17
And this is my first time in my life ever buying lingerie
I don’t want to show you the costume, you just have to wait!!
It was originally $60 but I got it 80% off for their labor day sale + a mystery code!!! Extra bonus discount!!!!!!
I’d love to celebrate Halloween this year and go on a haunted hayride but I’d get kidnapped especially in that costume
I have guys who follow me out to my vehicle in my little shorts with no make up on and I don’t have a fucking filter on when I walk outside
It’s dangerous where I live especially for a gal like me
He was scanning the parking lot…
His truck was big…
Anyhoo
Maybe I’ll just stay home and take photos for you ๐คช
I’m excited!!!
I have a Halloween costume and I really wanna show you the daddy cosplay stuff but I can’t, I can’t show you yet, I can’t fucking show you yet
I’m not dropping anything about it in my story
Sorry
Halloween feels like Christmas
And BB wants to look cute for you
Maybe a lethal doll
DOLLS KILL (let the neighbors know)
๐
Should I show you?
I really wanna show you ๐คช
Well I got the curtains and you know the curtains I wanted to get and I do think I got a good deal for them and everybody needs fucking curtains
I have no curtains in my apartment
I’ve lived here for five years without any fucking curtains, if anybody is giving me shit for spending less than eight dollars for some fucking curtains right now, you just need to go away with your negative energy, these are for my master bedroom privacy
I made a tip and I spent it
I invested it in myself and my art and mental health
WITH YOU IN MIND
You inspire me
And I got the rent paid
I still need to go grocery shopping so I didn’t spend that much money over there and again I used my tip money
I’m not gonna stop sharing my life experience just because I’m over there working now
God wants me to have a husband
I ain’t out here doing anything to disrespect him
I don’t have a man but you know I’m out here, I’m out here doing the hard work for him to fucking destroy my self-esteem and tell me I have no value
I would have married him at 12…
He tells me his secrets then punishes me ๐
He hasn’t spoke to me in weeks ๐
He’s got another girl ๐
She probably does dirty things for him ๐
He makes me regret being born ๐
But ordered my first bodysuit and the regret is less
Plus my first proper Halloween costume in years
God said it was OK if I spent my tip money on myself
GOD LOVES MY IMAGINATION
And the child in me was not compromised or tainted
God says I’m special, not broken
And all the things I feel are part of being human
There’s good nature and bad nature
Sometimes we make mistakes but when you acknowledge something that doesn’t suit your soul purpose and you stop doing those things, that makes you human not a demon
Waking up was part of my journey and it has taken me so long…
Can’t quit now
The Devil trying hard to get me…
But he can’t have me and I got a cute Halloween costume to mock him instead ๐
Halloween is my favorite season I think
I’m pretty certain I was burned at the stake in a past life
Also, there are ways in which I never want to die
“Haven’t you died 12,000 ways”
“I ain’t going that way, the answer is still no…”
Prime example:
Nope. Leaving that convo between me and God
Ain’t putting it in the ether…
FLORIDA IS KNOWN FOR THEM THO
Fuck it
SINKHOLE
The earth just opens up and swallows you
This guy was in his bed sleeping or jerking off and it was the only place in his entire house that went under and now that whole area is condemned with a fucking piece of plastic do not enter tape line
My fears about dying are starting to get irrational and I already have a therapist so I need a husband…
I got some thigh high socks to combat the fears
That red satin bow set was my first
And now I’ve got another set incoming soon
All these years and never wore socks over the knees and now I don’t wanna stop
I love you ๐
I wanna dress cute for you
Deadly but cute
DANGER CANDY LIKE THE SHROOMS
Sometimes good, sometimes bad ๐คช
I just need a husband to sort me
But I’m absolutely grateful for your viewership
You keep me going
The tip did not go for something bad (like alcohol or gambling)
I’ve never had a makeover in my life!!!!!!!
I’m glad I can share it with you
xoxo
(Could you let him know I need him)
I CAN’T BREATHE WITHOUT HIM
He released feel good hormones when I was dying
That’s why John wanted one more phone call
But he was denied ๐
He lost all hope ๐
But I’m not gonna jump from the bridge because I’ve got shit coming but the gang is out and about and they’re probably going to taunt me again tonight so I probably won’t get any fucking sleep tonight either
Where the fuck can I ride my bike with my LED lights and not feel like I’m gonna get murdered???
CUZ THE BIRTHDAY LED SETS ARE ON THE WAY
I even got a wall butterfly!!!!!!!!!!!! LED!!
And I’m gonna burn this grey shower curtain from Walmart
Or put a bunch of old oversized clothes in it and roll it up and make it look like a body and toss some of my cosplay blood on it and take it to the dump as the kids are off to school
I don’t think it’s normal to be having these ideas or laughing the way I do ๐คจ
I thought I was starting to experience Stockholm syndrome
But it was just him ๐
And he abandoned me ๐
I don’t respond well to trauma bonding or narcissism
He can’t use those tools on me
He needs to learn control ๐
He’s never gonna make me cum if I fear him ๐
He’s not a sex god
He’s an abuser ๐
I never did nothing like that in that chat
But I did do role play stuff with him that I’ve never done with anyone ๐
I was already imprinted on him because my soul knew it was him ๐
But my mind didn’t know ๐
And then he slowly started disclosing details about his life
Things I probably would rather not know
Because he can’t handle the fact that he told me
He thinks I’ll use the information against him ๐
He shoots the listener ๐
I thought I was falling in love with some guy with no teeth and was ready to be kidnapped and settle down with some guy with no teeth but it turned out to be the love of my life
And he abandoned me after he video called and said, “I need you”
He ghosted me ๐
And the Daytona Beach gang are taunting me ๐
And I ran off my favorite poet ๐
I’m all alone ๐
And everyone is leaving toxic Instagram
EVERYONE
And the ones that are staying on Instagram are just simply unfollowing me ๐
And I’m ascending into another level ๐
But I’ve got one more bowl of vegan soup to eat and that immediately stopped my tears
I also have lingerie sets I haven’t got to try on, a brand new pair of shoes, new make up and eye tattoos from my recent birthday
But I need to be in the headspace to create
I need to not be crying while I’m putting my makeup on ๐
I want to move ๐
I’m gonna spend my tip money and buy something nice I think
I LOST EVERYTHING IN 2017
They list for $58 & come in 2
I wanna get these curtains I found at Dolls Kill and I found several cute outfits – including a Halloween set, all for the tip price
I need clothes to wear and if I had a husband maybe people wouldn’t be fucking with me
I wanna imprint on someone who wants me ๐
I’m an organic computer ๐
God made me ๐
GET THE CURTAINS BABE
WE DON’T HAVE ANY
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO WEAR CLOTHES THAT FIT YOU
YOU’RE AN AMAZING BARGAIN HUNTER
WE’RE NOT ALIVE JUST TO PAY THE BILLS
YOU ARE NOT OBSOLETE
Keep detoxing and doing the hard work
He tried to make me feel shameful ๐
He’s mean ๐
I can’t trust myself around him ๐
He’s untrustworthy ๐
I need a safe space to imprint ๐
I’m tired of being in my masculine role ๐
I want a real husband ๐
I’ve never done anything in the chatroom that was porn or triple x
I don’t compromise myself ๐
He said he needed me then cut the cord ๐
He lied ๐
How can he be so cruel ๐
He’s always cutting holes and damaging our true love
I’m moving on ๐
I want my heart, mind, and soul pure for my partner
I’m not putting in the hard work to quit
Eventually, I’ll slow down and halt
But right now I’m in therapy and detoxing and cleansing my spirit
I think I just need to get these things off my chest
So I can figure out who I am and be the best version of myself
I just let the entire medicinal shop know that the Daytona Beach gang was after me but that the universe was speaking to me right now with this song and that y’all are the dumbest criminals ever
THEY WERE ALL SMILING
And then I started feeding off of that energy and bouncing up and down
THE STAFF WAS SMILING
I even said I was going to do a TikTok video with this song dedicated to you
I stated that
YOU WILL NEED A RESTRAINING ORDER TO STOP ME
Cause-and-effect
HAVE FUN
And I’m already skipping up and down the sidewalk with this playing on repeat
Just checking my mail skipping
Just taking my dog for a pee
Minding my own business
I hope the gaslighting is working
The vehicles have mirrors
I can hear you breathe
GET OFF MY DICK
๐
*skips*
*smiles*
*song on repeat any time I leave the house*
The devil has an invite to bust my fucking door down I double fucking triple dare you to fucking bust my goddamn doors down bust my fucking doors down cross my motherfucking shadow do it fucking do it you little fucking piss ants that will never amount to anything and you’re never coming to heaven with me I fucking dare you to fucking cross my shadow
IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD AND I FEEL FINE
Let the love of my life know I’m nearly healed
I might let him near me in the future for a hug
I threw a glass Coke bottle at his head once a long time ago but I knew he wasn’t gonna move so I put a slight spin on the bottle right at the very end
MIGHT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR SOME OF THOSE THINGS HAPPENING
“But what’s really going to boggle your noodle later is, would you have still broken it if I hadn’t of said anything…?”
I’ve been spending a lot of time detoxing and purging the devil from my system not watching TV or propaganda except for the shit that I see when I do open up the newsfeed regretfully on Instagram or TikTok
I want to spend more time looking at things that other people do but the invasive ads that cause brain damage and probably do have subliminal messaging in it because I learned in college is a scam that they are using subliminal messaging
I’m ready to have the Internet removed from my home
There is a lot of cancer being exposed from these phones
I’M TRYING TO REACH YOU
THE SOURCE WANTS YOU TO WIN
The Devil already lost and you’re on the wrong side
Final warning
(Iraq is where the Devil fell)
(I lived inside foxholes during war freezing with my m16 praying for the sun to rise and looking at the salt lines)
Iraq once was underwater, 3 times to my count
I know I told you to be still but don’t get too settled
I told you things were going to get harder
Apophis is closer
If I’m only living to 50, according to my very own calculations, I have six years remaining or less
John Jones had a favor
He used it on me
I am not taking for granted the second chance at life he is giving me
His life was not in vain
I will honor him by living mine as clean and honest as I can
But I cuss, I have stretch marks, I’m not a fucking virgin…
Sometimes I’m so aware about how insane they have made me that I go into these laughing spells but it feels so much better having the laughing spells than it does going into a fit of dark madness where I want to take out the city block so laughing definitely does feel closer to my purpose ๐คช
I’m not allowed to use blood cosplay makeup (can on Patreon tho and I’m considering thangs but don’t wanna be stuck producing one type of content only)
NOT A ONE TRICK PONY
I’m barefoot (socks) with a Bayonet
The army trained me how to gut another human being – one shot one kill – in every way imaginable and possible
I played with big toys
Threw real grenades
This motherfucking Daytona Beach gang is making me remember deep down in my core what a little fucking warrior I am and how badly I want someone to cross my shadow so I can practice the second amendment that I fought for ๐
I was little so the army trained me to take out groups or to work alone
The stars are out and I’m writing poetry while I’m outside and I’m actively anticipating my cute little things to arrive from dolls kill so I can make the inside of my jail cell a little bit better but I’m going to be spending a lot more time getting fresh air and looking in the eyes of every neighbor that comes and goes while I sip my fucking coffee
And smile…
Smiling and fresh air ain’t illegal yet
I don’t live in fear
I am the fear
God made me brutal
“The Soldier above all prays for peace…”
You don’t know the ways in which I suffer and these motherfuckers are bred to hate
I told my neighbor NO he couldn’t live with me for three months when him and his girlfriend broke up and then he blew out the back of my jeep window and I’ve been getting harassed by the Daytona Beach gang ever fucking since because they want me to leave my apartment I guess so they can sell dope to somebody here
They get their children involved in the harassment
I have videos and evidence of everything
It’s not in my head… ๏ฟผ
And it cost me nearly $300 to repair the back of my fucking window he blew out which they knew I would not be able to cover with my goddamn insurance that I paid full coverage on
*sips coffee*
I’m fine honest
But if I wind up on the top o’clock news it’s not a fucking hate crime – at least not from me – don’t you fucking believe the gaslighting propaganda lies
THE GOD DAMN DEVIL
I CAN HEAR HIM BREATHE WHEN HE SLEEPS
I’m not only a danger to disgoddamn establishment but to the Daytona Beach fucking gang
Just an FYI if I wind up in a swamp
I will get me a head or two before I leave this fucking hell LEGALLY
MARK MY WORDS
*must contact OF to inquire about weapon policy*
Me in some cute lingerie + my bayonet ๐คฉ
See, photography and defense and offense is the core of my nature
THE CORE
I’d love to not be in my masculine roll but I am walking around barefoot with my fucking weapons
I can fire bullets in the dark
Or wearing night vision goggles
Or a gas mask
Not only that, I can cock my weapon sideways wear a gas mask and get the best shot out of the entire fucking unit
GET OFF MY DICK
YOU’VE BEEN WARNED
YOUR CHILDREN FEAR ME AND IT MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE
I CANNOT BE SOMETHING I CAME FROM (darkness)
GOD LOVES ME I ASSURE YOU EVEN THOUGH HE KNOWS I DOUBT
I’m trained to take out the children, the Army trained me to take out the fucking children, the army trained me that the children are the threat
“Don’t let them get close to your vehicle”
Apply that to YOURSELF
The CDC said children were spreading the COVID virus and then my sister caught covid from her kid and died
And I’ll probably never stand more than 10 feet in front of my child ever again
My competition mostly at age 44 still ovulating – is a bunch of obese confused girls sex bots who probably removed their ability to have children
And if they haven’t yet, they will in their 30s, Hallelujah!!!!
YOU STILL GOT SOMETHING THAT THE MEN WANT AND DESIRE
AND IF NOT, YOU STILL GOT SOMETHING GOD WANTS AND DESIRES
DON’T LEAP FROM THE BRIDGE YET BABE
COLLEGE IS A SCAM
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT YOU WERE SEXUALLY MOLESTED
YOU STILL HAVE WORTH WITH DEBT AND SAGGY BOOBS!!!!!
I GOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP OPENING YOUR EYES AND REACHING FOR THE PHONE
SOCIETY IS TOXIC
YOU HAVE WORTH BABY GIRL
I’M SORRY THESE DEMONS KNOW NO BOUNDS
I KNOW IT HURTS
YOU’RE RIGHT TO BE PISSED
BABE 144!!!!
“I see dead people”
They’re everywhere!!!!
LOST SOULS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE ELITES WERE PLAGUED WITH PARASITES
THE WORLD TODAY IS PLAGUED BY PARASITES
If you’d like to not be obese black walnut wormwood if you’d like to not be dying of cancer black walnut wormwood if you’d like to not have IBS black walnut wormwood if you’d like to live a little bit longer black walnut wormwood
How long before it’s taken off the market because I told my fucking enemy the big secret magic ingredient to this shit and he wrote it down, he wrote it fucking down, he wrote it down! I blogged about it immediately cuz the entire hour session he didn’t fucking write anything down until those three words came out! he didn’t give a fuck about the other detox medication, it was only those three words he wrote down
BLACK WALNUT WORMWOOD
WORTH OBSERVING AND NOTING
I OBSERVE EVERYTHING
And if I’m angry over the insensitive conditioning these faggot boys are doing
Maybe God is too
JUDGMENT HOUR IS HERE
GUESS WHOSE EYES HAVE SOME FUCKING WORTH
“But we like virgins”
I’M GONNA RIP YOUR PENSIS OFF
*goes back to sleep*
I HATE TIKTOK AND INSTAGRAM
I’M ONLY THERE FOR YOU
I DON’T KNOW HOW ELSE TO REACH YOU
The reason I’ve been confused on whether you should get right with God or me because same ๐
And yep he can strike me dead any moment
I AM ONLY A VESSEL
*goes back to delusions and sleep*
I’m gonna burn it all down
Apophis is coming
We can’t leave earth
The establishment are scared๏ฟผ
HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF CUZ MONEY IS NARCISSISM IS A MANMADE DEVIL SOCIEY DOGMA
Sorry
Channeling ๐
*breathes on window, draws weird symbol*
I DON’T KNOW WHAT ANYTHING MEANS
THE GREAT FILTER IS REAL
THE SUN IS ELECTRICAL
WE LIVE ON A WATER WORLD
No one ever said, “maybe earth was icy and smashed into other objects (uranus) pushing it closer to the sun and thus life”
It’s the demon neighbors don’t chill out with making all this unnecessary goddamn noise
Oh, they are working in groups to rob single women, elderly, and disabled
These motherfuckers won’t hesitate to shoot me in my back to steal my bike
COPS ARE DOING THEIR JOB SPREADING PROPAGANDA
DON’T BE FOOLED BY THE CROCODILE TEARS
ASIAN DICTATORS IN UNIFORM
That black guy was worried about getting caught with his weapon when his life was ending
I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR
I WILL SKIN ME A HEAD OR TWO
SHOW ME HOW MUCH I DO NOT MATTER
You love your virgin mentality so much that 68% of the species has gone extinct so fuck your goddamn propaganda ideology fuck you fuck you fuck you
It’s conditioning these other monsters to “ruin us” and sacrifice us to the dark entity early on
I CAN’T IMPRINT ON THE DEVIL
THE DEVIL CANNOT IMPRINT ON ME
FUCK YOU
We are organic computers and if the government doesn’t get their toxic shit together there’s going to be dire consequences
DIRE
THE SEVENTH SEAL IS OPEN
(There’s nowhere safe for me online social media wise. It’s so toxic for an angel) ๐
People think people just stand in front of a camera and that’s it, like no, that’s not it, there’s a lot of posing, camera work involved, lighting, makeup, costume, location/scene/mood. Post editing.
Pretty bias exists
“She has it easy”
This is WORK and it comes from WITHIN and it requires ENERGY to produce content worthy of your TIME
I ain’t out here doing anything to disrespect my future husband
People try to shame me for my content because it is taboo ๐คจ
My grandmother was married and having babies at age 15
SOCIETY STOPPED ME AND FORCED ME INTO SLAVERY
I LIKE MAKING PHOTOGRAPHY AND DISCOVERING WHO I AM AS A FEMALE AND NOT A MALE SOLDIER
I’m tired of being in my masculine
I’ll never give up the combat boots or training
But that doesn’t mean you get to shame me out of femininity
And I’ll be able to feed the potential future hubby various versions of soup
No cabbage this time but added a couple handfuls of dry split peas
More rainbow carrots (grateful for the birthday donations, feeding my belly)
Lots of organic spices and a shit ton of the good salt!
A BIG potato
And I know I don’t have a fancy kitchen but I want to be able to cook soup out in the fucking forest over a campfire ๐
I even added lots of peppers and fresh would have been better!
The stew even got a thing of spring water!!
But, not for the rich emancipated kid who gutted me in my heart
He wounded my spirit when he said he wouldn’t eat from my kitchen and if I was offended with it, it was my fault ๐
He treats me the way others treated Mary Magdalene ๐
God said if he doesn’t get his shit together he won’t be invited into the heavens ๐
IT’S AMAZING ๐คฉ
My future husband must like soup a lot!!!
๐
I just picked up another bottle of detox and got my large dose in!
The world is plagued by parasites, don’t be ashamed
History repeats itself because they make money from gaslighting our health issues and laugh about us chasing our tails while feeding us nothing but poison then saying, “stupid Americans”
74 drops once daily currently for me
Well that rich emancipated kid can eat his cold ass pizza from that box with his cold ass heart while 60% of the fucking species go extinct over commercial farming and that fucking cheese he’s eating…
I’M OFFENDED
But the belly is full
And there’s maybe one bowl left after simmering the witches stew for hours! ๐คช
But I’ll be getting a rebound session in soon!
I gotta be careful tho
I’m ready for the booty to start returning
I still have muscle to work with all over
But I’ve shed over 18+ pounds in 5 months detoxing
It does take time to rebuild
You can’t expect results overnight
I do not live in the gym
I have a heart and lung injury from the death jab ๐คจ
I can’t expect the potential future husband to be using me as motivation to push him to run a fucking marathon
I get up before sunrise
Make coffee
And try not to leap from a bridge…
It would be nice if I could get out of my masculine role
If the poles could reverse
And he’d be less of an emancipated little bitch…
With that said, he’s gonna be left in the dust
I won’t be parking my mind on him when I’m connected and imprinting on someone else
LOYALTY IS EVERYTHING
It’s all real tho (petite doll)
I’m only getting married once…
Yes please ๐คช
I can’t wait for my little butterfly LED light to arrive from Dolls Kill (and the new bedsheets and bathroom set)
On the way ๐ฅฐ
Healing. Detoxing. Rebounding. Making over. Doing the hard work.
The mess does not reflect the effort
There are more things to organize and let go
Sometimes I’m just happy I’m making it another day
I’ve been asleep for so long…
After 44 years at it alone, I’d be so grateful for just a decade with a partner to not do it alone.
Things don’t have to be like they’ve been
“You’ve been down that road, Neo. You know where it goes…”
Life is in the journey, not the destination
Don’t get stuck…
Need more skirt thangs (size small tho as I’m petite now)
Thank you to everyone who shows me positive support, you are keeping me alive!!! โค๏ธ
There are sometimes people who make fun of me for being poor or try to shame me and Chris Cornell’s mother still follows me and watches my stories and sometimes she comments and she never shames me
People in Europe show skin and it is not a big deal to them
I don’t know why people want to body shame you or shame you for your financial status, it’s not like I fucking chose to jump into a government hiring freeze or government furlough ๐
I’m doing the best I can
My partner will never make me cum if he makes me fear the very ground I walk on ๐
I’ve broken into too many pieces to collect And sin he is buried up to his neck
A demon ran past his curfew Patience is a virtue Hard work is what I do Truth is taboo
I misinterpret perception The book of hope is deception Misguided direction Waiting for insurrection
I know I’m headstrong I read the data wrong Hang head low on throne “144” on the headstone
I’m tired of the overrule Narcissism How they always ridicule
The banks block the poor from spending hard money earned Well if you transfer this or transfer that They’ll track every move you got And God forbid you have extra dough You’ll be met with a spending limit yah know!!!
Raw + edited photos on the new OnlyFans! I’m still on the leaderboard! ๐ฅฐ
I dropped a new set last night and I am utilizing the “Story and Hightlight” features as I got/still get penalized a lot by Mark Zuckerberg and at least now I have a safety zone to do drops!
I have lost so much weight from detoxing and my little skirt is a medium and I clearly need a size small now (which is fine) but I was panicked and freaking out because I wanted my hair down and I didn’t do my pigtails and blah blah blah – I can always find a reason why the set could have been better but I received my first tip ๐คฉ
So I stopped beating myself up
I’m getting a rebound session in soon but I want my morning coffee first today
Yep
I drink water all freaking day and all night, let me have a fucking coffee OK, I’m 5 pounds, I’m gonna have a fucking coffee before I work out
I know that sounds different from what people do but I’m doing things different down here in this timeline
I’m so annoyed that somewhere in the world right now the year is seven years back and I want to jump into that fucking timeline and have a baby
My clock is ticking and I keep asking it to chill the fuck out but it is in overdrive ๐คช
I don’t want anyone hurting any children
But I started my period at 13 and I should’ve been allowed to get married by 15 and have 12 babies with my husband the way my grandmother did with hers
Immigration absolutely has been a Trojan horse and I’m fucking horny, deal with it
I’m not out there doing anything to disrespect my potential future husband though and if he’s worried about me stripping to pay my bills or to keep a roof over my head, then he’s too vanilla for me
As far as I’m concerned, the OF is as good as therapy
I get to express my art and not get penalized by the dictatorship out there
They did steal 20% of my tip tho ๐
I AM SO GRATEFUL I GOT A TIP AT ALL
But there will probably be a poem in the future about how the establishment is stealing the tip money of its hard workers
AND I ABSOLUTELY KNOW WHY EDGAR ALL POE DIED
HE NEEDED TO DEBUG
Like apparently the entire population
I already got a load of dishes washing
About to get a coffee going
RELAX
REBOUND
REPEAT
I’m anxious for my LED bike lights to arrive so I’ll probably pump up the tires and make sure everything’s good to go
THE SUMMER HEAT IS NOT GONE
But early morning and late evening bike rides are about to start
You definitely need lights riding in the city and bright colors sometimes isn’t even enough because I’ve been out several times in bright colors and still have almost been ran over several times with one person coming back to acknowledge it and saying “that was really close”
And I was just like “it was my turn” ๐
I’m gonna try leaving the lions den again
It ain’t safe in any capacity
Which is why I am actively boxing and packing mostly the entire rest of my house and trying to get the master bedroom, closet, and bathroom together, so at least have a little apartment area to not go mad
GILLED AND WITH TEETH. PHOTO BY ME FROM THIS VERY AM. ๐คจ
A DISH SERVED COLD ๐คจ
DANGER SHROOMS POTENTIALLY BEWARE (all photography by @poeeternal)
Thank you so much for supporting my content or reading my blog or just being a positive influence in my life overall because I know that I’m toxic and I’m working on that
IF A GIRL FEARS YOU, SHE AIN’T GONNA BE SATISFIED IN THE BEDROOM
AND MAKING SURE YOU ARE WILL BECOME RESENTFUL
HE CAME, AND LESS THAN SIXTY SECONDS LATER CAME AGAIN
He said, “that has never happened to me before”
Shame men do me dirty
Made him come twice and he’s never once helped me in my time of need
“He’ll share a bed with you but not his bread…”๏ฟผ
Yeah, and you ain’t invited into the heavens…
It’s cool..
I DO REMEMBER YOUR NAME
AND HOW I MADE YOU CAME
๐
You need to get connected to yourself and probably get control over your sexual addictions if you’ve never came twice or have an issue with it and maybe not all guys can – I don’t know – but maybe I have some magical fucking powers that other people don’t have
I need a husband to cast my spells and practice the art of seduction (vampire sensuality mode) (I’ll suck the life force out of you) ๐คช
Getting on the rebounder soon and then sharing some new outfits of my own
I have things from my birthday from both Shein and Dolls Kill that I have not fitted
I still have a yeti microphone from Christmas that I have not opened ๐คช
BUT I’M INSPIRED TO NOT DIE – GET BETTER – FIND THE HUSBAND
But if I don’t make room to squeeze in spoken word/poetry/photography I will eventually jump off the bridge because expression is my purpose and I can’t keep stopping myself
I’m sick of starring at a grey shower liner from Walmart that I overpaid
AND
A SECRET WISHLIST SALE
YOU HAD ME AT SECRET ๐
And thus, I got home improvement thangs that had been in the wishlist
Coming soon ๐คฉ
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU
I lost everything when I became homeless in 2017 after the government furloughs and hiring freezes
EVERYTHING
I could lose thangs again
But I got some bike LEDs coming ๐คฉ
Me and the dog will be cruising the racist parking lot at night
๐
MENTAL HEALTH AND FITNESS IS IMPORTANT
THE PRETTY LIGHTS WILL CALM ME
And encourage me to go for an evening ride
I’m still living in fear about riding my bike after that couple got murdered and the eyes around here work in groups to steal thangs
I’ve got my shit together though and the cops are on speed dial ๐
Personally I wish we could just have a walkie-talkie because they’re only a mile away but they seem to live here on weekends so now I can ride my bike and not give a fuck about the racist gangs
Uncle Sam trained me to fight male Soldiers in GROUPS
I’d win
They’d get all butthurt
At this point, the ex better be praying the Grim Reaper gets to him before I do ๐๐๐
At this point, I’m praying the Grim Reaper gets to him before I do because I’m trying to make a baby, start a commune, ascend
If the immigrants raise my rent one more time who knows what the fuck I’m gonna do, maybe buy some more fucking shit from Dolls Kill
I didn’t even know secret sales existed over there, I was just window browsing my wishlist
TAKE AN ADDITIONAL 25% OFF SECRET WISHLIST SALE
*runs to check balance, the rent cleared*
FUCKKKKKKKKK
It’s literally $8 for the curtain babe
That’s not a curtain or daily or monthly expense
THAT IS A MENTAL HEALTH BOOST
And I might start taking some photos in my fucking bathroom instead of just in my closet or bedroom or other bedroom where I used to take photos but right now there’s important paperwork & evidence of trauma everywhere
I’m not gonna find a husband with my shower curtain looking like the home of Eeyore
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THIS TRAUMA
Some of it is being sold at the pawn
Eventually I will hack into my eBay account again or start a new one and put some rare commodities up
Some thangs are going to the junkyard
Some stuff is already freshly boxed and ready for the next timeline multiverse jump
“Where we are now is not permanent, keep packing”
“What is all this shit”
“A piece of HIM, we’re going to burn him alive”
“Too easy”
“Put it in the trash piles”
*places it in the EVIDENCE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH PILE*
“I’m sorry that happened to you. I know why you needed my help”
“I’m here now….”
“It’s okay”
“Be patient with me”
“I can’t fix this mess overnight”
“What the fuck is this”
*closes bedroom door*
*Disassociates*
I am working on getting my master bedroom together tho!!!
So I can come out of the closet officially ๐คช
Not like that…
I’m a vampire
The closet is the coffin
And the cleanest room currently on the whole ship
One tiny safe space
Don’t enter cuz it’ll be the last thing you ever do…
YOU’VE BEEN WARNED
“Where is Delia”
“In the closet”
“…I wouldn’t go in there mate, she’s been in there like 200 years”
“No one ever returns….”
If Chris were here, I mean Kris, wait who?
We could write the most amazing cryptic stories
Do you want to know what stops me from writing stories for y’all? fucking punctuation…
That’s my major roadblock
That and “that was in her head”
I PET BLEEDING DYING TREES YA’LL
I would just like to say that God likes my weird dark tales and so does John Jones and I’d like to share them more with you so I probably will just avoid punctuation altogether and I’m not hiring anybody yet to help me because I don’t make that kind of money and I don’t have any sort of bond with anybody like David Gilmour has with his wife where they write fucking lyrics together so this is the compromise – good storytelling with shitty grammar and punctuation!?!
I mean, I do have a brain injury, could you cut me some slack a little bit? There are people out there drawing paintings with their fucking feet, can maybe like I avoid punctuation and grammar and just try to get the message and the tone out before I don’t have the ability to do that at all?
Asking for him
Because he’s never once liked or commented on anything that I do ๐
I like to like peoples content and then get mad at them for absolutely ridiculous reasons not based on reality and then UNLIIKE EVERYTHING I LIKED
And then unfollow
Sometimes I come back and do it again ๐
EDGAR ALLAN POE DIED ON THE STREET
CHRIS CORNELL WAS TURNING THE LIGHTS ON AND OFF WITH AN APP
TAP TAP TAP
He was checking out ๐
I’M TRAUMATIZED
But essentially I’m acting out doing the same
I’m extremely suicidal and act out often
I got in trouble for trying to kill myself in kindergarten at age 5 on the playground with a piece of string
“Your weird” and then NO BODY WANTED TO PLAY WITH ME EVER
Chastised
For not being a sheeple
I hated school
I hated home
My parents never bought me my dream sheets or gave me my dream bedroom so that’s what I’m working on now and I really hope I like this sheet set that’s coming and that it fits
Because sheets for the wired mattress are coming
From the Dolls Kill
Sharing my shopping tips and favorites with you
I’ve never had my dream bedroom
And now I got sheets and a curtain coming for the master bath and bedroom that I pay top dollar for to have a roof with ugly ass popcorn ceiling that falls in my throat when trying to sleep
“WHAT THE FUCK IS TRYING TO CHOKE ME NOW”
“JUST SOME ANCIENT DUST FROM 10,000 plagues ago, these motherfuckers”
*opens window*
John just wanted air in his lungs again
The wind on his face
I KNOW
CRAWLING IN THE CAVE WASN’T WORTH HIS LIFE
Mother earth is both heaven and hell but bad management got him killed and gaslighting
Ignoring the red flags
But also being given an incomplete map that didn’t disclose dangerous features that were purposely left off that other people had gotten stuck in six months prior
“I thought I was somewhere else”
“I’m fat”
I want to feed Michael Levitt’s balls to him
PLEASE SOMEONE LOVE ME AND MAKE IT HAPPEN
I chose the free shipping even though I want my stuff right away
Been scrubbing the bathroom
Got the current bed sheets stripped and washing
I gotta scrub the walls
Also working on new content
Writing. Photography.
I’ve been feeling very angelic but also dark
I come from the Void
I am the Void
Oh look, a wave of energy now
*ZAP* โก๏ธ
Canceled out…
P.S. I ordered some anti happy cards to send out to people/bloggers/friends/fans/Penpal/??
I don’t know how many are arriving in the bundle
I thought it might be fun to send out for Thanksgiving and the Christmas holiday
Some sarcastic hatemail ๐คช
It’ll be gaslighting (don’t jump from a bridge)
Does anybody want to be my penpal the season?
It can be a one-way penpal (you don’t even have to write me back if you don’t want because I wasn’t actually planning on putting my address anywhere)
I wanted to get a little post office box from the post office but they charge an arm and a leg now to be secretive ๐
I wanted a little addy thang…
A P.O. box
I think I already gave the fucking serial killer my address and heart ๐
It’s scary out here
Uhm, so I splurged and got this Mixed Messages card set in the hopes that folks will let me send them an anti holiday card for the holiday – wrong theme – wrong month ๐คช
Just for fun
I am quarantined as many still are
PLEASE LET ME SEND YOU ONE
๐
Remember having a penpal in grade school?
I’d like to try that again
Back to the basics
I know it requires some form of trust
I’ve held security clearances and I don’t fuck with peoples personal data or private data or bank accounts or Social Security’s
I have never keyed anybody’s car for cheating on me
Anyhoo
They have this sale going on up until midnight if you wanna try to put some things in a wishlist and put the code in your cart
Stuff does sale out fast
I had about five or six other items in my wish list that I tried to add to the cart that were already sold out, cute little bags and over the knee socks, some other home-improvement items
A red latex dress that normally cost $50 was under $4 but gone in every size ๐
It just makes it that more fun and special when you grab a bargain
Let me know if you want to see my master bedroom, bathroom and closet when I get it completely made over
Or in progress updates…
I haven’t really said it much but I’m really looking forward to the new sheet set coming in
I’m not only shopping for myself but my future husband ๐คช
Ladies, whatever motivates you to get better
There are good men out there who do not think women in their 40s are obsolete!!!
And you don’t have to be the person you were before…
You can change
You don’t have to keep shopping at Walmart or the thrift store
REINVENT
I never knew I could wear triangle tops or bikinis because guys were always dissing on my body and I’m not ashamed for taking photographs of myself
I’m not doing anything to disrespect my future husband
I’m not doing anything behind the scenes nasty or trying to steal anybody’s husband
I’m not an online girlfriend or dirty talker
Back in the 90s, I knew good girls who stripped their way through college, to buy a house, or to pay off their student loans and they weren’t expected to perform sex acts or to be that way
I would like an opportunity to pay off a bill or to buy a house but right now I’m just trying to stay afloat and buy some fucking food and make a penpal or two during the apocalypse
Are stamps even affordable? ๐คช
P.S.S. I could do a card and email a digital version instead if you don’t have an aunt or uncle or cabin to receive snail-mail
I’m not doing anything illegal nor planning anything evil
I’m just going back to the basics and I saw those cards and had this idea
Our spaceship took on the form of a pyramid FYI
Are you out there? Do you still read my blog? Do you love me? ๐
Checked out an organic shop today and used that belated birthday donation for some good foods
Also got a fitness session in today and went live on the TikTok during
My heart and body is struggling but enjoys and appreciates keeping up the ability to flee from the devil
I’m skinny as fuck and got mental health issues because apparently being skinny is a crime in society while 60% of the population is obese
The other push is for plastic surgery so the ass can be silicone BIG BRAZILIAN BOOTY
So if you’re not obese or thick you might as well jump off a fucking bridge…
Society is toxic. Be a weight you are happy with. I need some meat on the bone and I’m working on rebuilding muscle mass – but I still got stuff to work with.
It’s hard tho when guys are only interested in the fake plastic female bots who can’t even have a baby
Our enemy has destroyed the family value tribe and tradition from within
I also love this vegan nail polish, it’s so pretty, but the fan who got it for me for my birthday, unfollowed all of my accounts ๐คฉ
The organic goods (nommy)
Apparently this place has a deli and a salad bar and a juice bar so I’ll be back when I actually have five dollars to splurge
I’ve got some vegan dogs I need to grill, so picked up some buns, and a jar of peppers, because I like everything spicy. EVERYTHING
I’ll be making more soup, and got some stuff for tacos, cuz those are my favorite, and I just had a birthday and I don’t buy fake meat anymore (the dogs were a food bank donation)
I’m actually getting ready to try some new food banks that I haven’t been to and I’ll let you know how those go
I do like hitting them up for the canned goods
But I’ve been living on junk food and canned food my entire life and I’m now cooking everything from scratch again like my grandmother taught me – which is my purpose
I got some really good healthy wraps to try with the tacos – and I have chicken breast in the freezer that may go on the grill and in the wrap
So I haven’t quite settled on what I am going to do with the beef or the chicken yet
I still have sweet potatoes and big giant Idaho potatoes to cook up
I ignored the doctor about “no dairy, eat sugar” and got some cheese curds and milk
My body is responding well to the things I am giving it
I don’t need people driving me
I KNOW WHAT I NEED
Also we are electrical before we are chemical
It’s important to connect your feet to the earth and get sunshine on your skin during the good hours
THE SUN IS GOOD FOR YOU NEO
The brain, the heart, ELECTRICAL
My chest has been pounding since I started rebounding and I’m coughing stuff up detoxing
But whatever I’m doing is working better than what the VA had been doing…
I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE BEING MURDERED BY THE HEALTHCARE DEATHCARE SYSTEM
FUCK
I FORGOT TO CALL
๐
Now I gotta wait til next week to apply for help
At least I got a workout sesh in and ventured out into hell to find some organic food
I’m sure I probably could have spent that money at Victoria’s Secret but I’m looking forward to having some tacos and whatever I plan to make with that box of food I just bought so thank you
I had an ex once not worth mentioning that said I talked about food a lot and it was boring
How boring of an individual must you be to find food topic boring
I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT FOOD ๐คฉ
I’m literally obsessed with putting taste on my tongue
THEY CAN’T TASTE A FUCKING THING AND SHOULD DIVE INTO A BLACK HOLE HEAD FIRST
There is still plenty of good ingredients in my fridge right now to make a delicious vegan stew
I’ll be dry humping the kitchen soon ๐คช
I moan when I eat good food ๐
In the military, we’d go out in little groups, order food, then put it all in the middle of the table and share each other’s
I’ll have some of this please
And, we’d pay separate checks with just what we ordered
But sharing was caring
We also lived in Germany and we hit up every restaurant that we could all the time and tried every fucking dish we could
I need real Jasmine tea in my life
I need REAL TEA in my life again
Not little bags poisoned with chemicals on a string (also poisoned)
They don’t want us enjoying anything
Fucking narcissism
I can’t believe summer is nearly over
I don’t have much time left…
Living the life of Edgar Allan Poe 2.0
“No one flies around the sun” (we can’t leave earth)
Neil Degrasse said on his TikTok that what those astronauts are doing up there is not in space and he wants to go to the moon so let’s send him because I don’t think we’ve been and I want to be proven wrong. I know I’m fucking stupid, prove me wrong, humiliate me in front of the entire fucking world please, go for it, do it, prove me wrong
Neil Degrasse also said what the astronauts were doing up there was boring and he didn’t want to do what hundreds of others have done
I bet he doesn’t find food boring tho or the person cooking for him ๐
Prayed for all of them and there’s more on that list๐
YOU BLEED ENOUGH AND THEN THE BLEEDING STOPS
You won’t get my forgiveness
I’m not here for that
Also! Thank you for the belated birthday moneyz! ๐ฅฐ
There’s such a warm feeling inside knowing I’m shopping for soup thangs soon
Also, I’m giving Walmart pickup a try. It’s free on orders of $35 or more
I’ll let them shop for my groceries again. Only this time I will drive to pick them up. They bring it to your car.
I won’t have to deal with the COVID crowds or mask up with a partial working lung (the left lung is doing better and I’m taking deeper breaths now, hopefully not the death call)
I may do a sunrise livestream from the beach this weekend on my TikTok
There’s a lot of negative dark energy here in the city, I’d like to avoid
I JUST WANNA BE HOME
It’s the worst place I’ve ever lived but for now it’s the only place I want to be
I’ve been moving my furniture around in my bedroom though and now I have a new view
I’m searching for a decent mattress topper because I’m sick of sleeping on wires
I think I may have finally found one without all the bs
They only have 2 inches but it’s decently priced and it’s gotta be better than sleeping on these fucking wires
I wanted 6 inches and the 3 inch egg shell + 3 inch memory foam but they don’t exist anymore
They keep trying to push the products with infusion in it which will dry out eventually and make your bed crack and I don’t want to sleep with chemicals
Anyhoo
I think I settled on that one and it’ll be decided on next payday
I may take a peek inside the actual Walmart but I can’t stand going inside that place lol
CROWDS
UGG
GROSS
I’m nearly ready to start sleeping on my floor tho
The bed I’m sleeping on was donated by the church cuz my stupid ass went homeless briefly during the government furloughs and hiring freezes
I love that I studied so long in college for a job just for the government to stop us from working and give all of our jobs away to the immigrants
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ๐บ๐ธ
MADE IN CHINA INDIA MEXICO
(Native American slave)
But the black Americans want me to pay financial repercations for propaganda crimes I never committed (nor my bloodline)
GET IN THE FUCKING SEA
I will go AWOL if you don’t stop taxing me
NASA IS A FRAUD!!!!!!!
WE CAN’T LEAVE EARTH!!!
I’m hungry thus hangry but not so much cuz the cart is getting full soon and the free pick up makes me less anxious to shop myself
I never worked at Walmart but damn that would’ve been a much better job to have been picking out other peoples groceries, taking it to the car, or even delivering it to them, that sounds like a fantastic way to spend eight hours instead of just standing there scanning shit nonstop without a break
In England, they sit down on the job to scan your groceries…
I fucking hate it here (in America)
THE GREAT SLAVERY
THE GREAT WALL OF DECEIT
THE GREAT PYRAMID SCHEME
I think I may have a Bible here or two that might be worth putting on eBay
I’m kinda having difficulties accessing my account tho
And I’m fairly certain I locked myself out of my Facebook on purpose
So Mark Zuckerberg will be selling my data permanently forever without my permission
Same thing is going on with my Etsy…
I’m done with this fucking establishment
They shouldn’t be allowed to update their policies and add stuff like that and automatically have it selected yes for you
BUT THEY DO
Also, I’ve started receiving mail from spectrum again and when I called they said it was automation so the rainforest has been cut down for fucking spam in my mailbox that I don’t want every goddamn day or any day!!!
THE ONLY ESCAPE IS GOING AWOL / GETTING A PLOT OF LAND WITH MY OWN COMS
Luckily, I know a Soldier or two an expert in communication
LUCKS
They will come when I call…
When I went homeless, some of the officers I shared a foxhole with was offering for me and my pets to come stay…
I did not go but alas I was homeless in 2017 for 4 months
Still climbing out of that financial hole
I lost my entire Thrift savings (retirement) + regular savings just staying afloat
Should have cut the cord sooner
Thank fuck I got discharged before the entire “you must vaccinate or get kicked out dishonorably” bullshit occurred
Stay strong y’all
I didn’t have a husband or family to fall back on
My head is still kind of a mess from everything especially getting a vaccine injury but I’m in deep therapy trying to recover mentally physically everything
Appreciate y’all so much
I want my own little bit of land so I can start helping others and pay it forward
My mortgage payment would be way less than my annual rent increases
“Yeah but you have to do everything yourself”
Oh thank fuck, I don’t think I can handle hearing the Mexicans blow the leaves around the goddamn parking lot any longer
READY TO JUMP FROM THAT BRIDGE OR GO AWOL
(I’m going to use the birthday money to get groceries so thank you)
Psst I’m not racist. I’m tired of the policies being changed to benefit other countries while America becomes a third world country
I’m allowed to complain about the country I fought for
Rotten fruit falls by itself If you’re compelled Don’t bid farewell
Could you drop good news with the bad? Could you learn happy just means sad? Could you leave but still come back? Or are you ever planning that?
There he goes again Slamming the door! And I still don’t know What we’re fighting for!
Where did your will come from? Was it bought from the sun? What will you become? Is your will firm?
John,
You should have kept your head in the book You should have took a second look You should have chose a different route You should have crossed a bigger chute
I know I’m not what you need That’s why you keep walking away I know I’m not what you bleed That’s why you have nothing to say
Been down a ways Get little praise Been down always Been down always
I made a mess Of these prison walls Out of order The sad owner Of these pitfalls
I am the still of the lake With underwater currents circling The whirlpool in your eye full of hate Forgiveness won’t be surfacing No mercy at the break
Why does weight cause gravity? Like my love for you You will disappear But I am stuck like glue?
Last seen Smoking on the Bayou Got the deep blues Gonna cut loose
Restarted just to leave, Alive just to grieve, Got what you need? Stop bailing on me!
If I could do it all again I’d let you be my influence Blood to pen Influent
Jesus: didn’t you say he left your bed?
Yes.
Jesus: and he won’t share a slice of his bread?
*feather tremble ๐
He slams the door He makes an entrance He begs for more He is relentless
I’m sorry they left out details on an updated map not showing risk or location where 2 others had been stuck – and took hours to rescue
I’m sorry that management thought it best to remove features on a map – instead of blocking off entrance and stating instead that anyone with common sense would know “dusty” means “don’t go” “not well traveled” (victim blaming)
I’m sorry you thought you were somewhere you weren’t
And that the dangers and risks weren’t disclosed
“Why did you put me here…?”
Could you imagine if my last mission was a suicidal attempt to come get your bones
Last we saw of her was outside the cave location of John Jones, we think she went inside….
200 years later: bones of John Jones found in mysterious location with the remains of missing….
What’s even stranger is the position they were found in….
*cue the fairytales the establishment dish out as fact*
And thus a new religion was born
Hail whoever the fuck I become in the future
I mean, I do wanna go get his bones tho
*leaves suicide note near dug up entrance / and a black backpack*
CHECKMATE FUTURE ME
*doesn’t die*
*turns 44*
I was screaming for John recently tho – silently from my soul
He came up and was like, “you’re screaming like I’m in Utah..”
Cuz he haz jokes ๐
P.S. if you don’t know who or what I’m talking about, only the greatest tragedy in my living history. An angel was crucified upside down by a demon – who later received a bonus and likely a promotion for “heroic efforts”.
I want to throw up ๐คข
His body was left there with over 100 rescue personnel on the clock.
Our tax dollars hard at work.
His bones are still in that cave and one day I’m gonna go get em’…
He hates that fucking cave…
There are things that had happened down there that Michael Leavitt says “will never be disclosed” and I’m gonna make him disclose them…
The patience and the craft of a warrior gone rogue
30 years time
This ain’t Minority Report
Although a kid did get arrested for making a threat during a video game
My PS4 has been factory reset and is in the STUFF TO BE SOLD AT THE PAWN box
The content is propaganda and subliminal messaging
I’m trying to get through to you
Espionage everywhere
But what do you see
Also – PayPal has listed someone as a contact who once donated to me anonymously
I found out about the anonymous donor – or rather who it was – about six months or so later – in an end-of-the-year PayPal statement
Fucking fantastic
The goddamn glitches in this timeline
The anomalies
And now Instagram tells people “followed by so-in-so”
There is no privacy here
My TV hasn’t been turned on in weeks
I wanna turn into one of them vets who live in the country with their own radio coms
Telephone? We ain’t got one of them here. You gotta drive into town…
I made it to 44, thanks to John Jones
I don’t know if I’m gonna get out alive, but he’s down here with me
And those electrical jolts to my heart was him repairing the damage big pharma caused when I injected myself twice with that deadly poison
I was barely alive, hanging on by a thread
I’m spitting less in a cup but I’m still spitting in a cup
I keep hearing people say they’re catching Covid and I can’t catch Covid, my immune system has been compromised from the death jab and heart inflammation and people are now dropping dead by that adult death syndrome which I’m at risk of
I need to be quarantined
I need to be that girl in a bubble
I wanted to have photos for you today
But then that 7 day treatment is taxing on the liver, this detox I’m doing – coupled with me starting my period with the full moon like clock work
I’m spent…
But I made it to 44!!!!
I’ve lived 43 years!!!
Now it ain’t easy
My sister died in January at age 45
She didn’t make it to 46
And I’ve been saying since I was a little kid that I wouldn’t live past 50 so I have that weighing on me
I’ve been saying since I was about 12 years old that Leo’s have heart and feet problems so I predicted my own fucking death
I’m paying better attention to the red flags now I hope
And when I feel myself falling into a violent dark rage – I’m gonna paint my nails instead and play dress up or ride my bike or bake a delicious meal
That’s the intention anyway
I’m still in intensive therapy and putting in the work…
I’m starting this new detox regime soon
And then probably the liver cleanse
And some of the other formulas he has
Vegetarian too from what I’ve seen
It’s less expensive than dying or treatments from Big Pharma which nearly all include toxic poisons – yellow/red/blue dyes
These nurses and doctors don’t give a fuck about you
They think the NDA they made you sign trumps their oath
IT DON’T
Take revenge in the courtroom and not on the street (or self-destruct)
Stay woke
P.S.S. America is a corporation where its occupants are owned by communistic China – who holds hands with the Russian mafia – who is the Illuminati – and keeps you distracted with porn, religion, politics, Hollywood, propaganda and subliminal messaging
It may have worked if the VA had treated me in a timely manner – instead of waiting until I was knocking on my death bed and threatening a law suit
Still, progress was made
I’m still gonna have to drop over a bill for a new holistic treatment next paycheck
I can’t sit around and wait for the VA to order this and that and having me chase my tail until I’ve ran out of breath
We’re done with that game
The self-treatment continues with Black Walnut & Wormwood, Apple Cider Vinegar, Turmeric & Ginger, and CandAid.
I’ve got bottles unopened still yet to swallow
I’m taking daily doses, sometimes multiple
That 7 day treatment was pretty taxing on my body, I’ve needed a couple days of rest
Today I’m having coffee with milk
I’m resting on the side of the cliff
I’m gonna be making a white cake with coconut milk, coconut oil, brown eggs, and wild blueberries. Cupcakes & half pound loaf. For the upcoming birthday on Friday.
I’ve never shopped there but I’m already earning points just for daily check-ins.
They have everything there and you have to hunt for the good stuff and bargains (stainless steel, wood, cotton, ect) – but everything from home to body.
I’m looking forward to spending my gift card. Gonna apply my points and any coupons I can to stretch it out!
๐
I really appreciate y’all thinking of me for my birthday.
My parents don’t care of my existence – same life as our dear Edgar Allan Poe. ๐ค
They were apologizing about a low gift card and that’s not a low number.
Not to mention I’m a Leo so I love to bargain hunt. I love finding the good stuff at the run down thrifts.
I love sifting through a yard or garage sale.
I’ll go to the bereavement sales too.
“Oh look, somebody died. Let’s go buy their shit”. And you’re actually helping out the family members move on. Win win. I’ve no shame. God bless the dead. But not the demons.
I’m saving my pennies to buy some land but currently I need to make some pennies and I’ve got something in the pipeline to try and do
(I don’t do sex work ever, please stop thinking my content is XXX)
I’m old-fashioned
I STRIP
And these days all I’ve got is bone to share
STRIPPED TO THE BONE
But yeah, I did order something from Dolls Kill again – for the birthday – they only had one pair left in my size – I’m praying them suckers are mine ๐
Now when you visit the page – there are no sizes available
*sigh*
COMETOMAMA ๏ฟผ
I mean, I do have a shoe fetish but it’s the pair of shoes I’ve been dreaming about and I can wear them with all my lingerie, all my shorts, all my dresses, all my outfits, minus my military uniforms duh
I didn’t lose all of my uniforms when I went homeless, I just left a lot behind, but I don’t know why I decided to rescue an entire suitcase worth of propaganda
But because “she” held onto it, I’ve repacked them in a small moving box
They don’t go to the donation bin yet
I think she wants them near her own garden… I dunno…
I’m trying to help her reach her goal
There are still old boxes to sort through
Old unopened mail
Evidence my parents are shit
Trauma left and right
I told her I’m not here to judge, only to help her organize and sort the mess
Keep what’s to keep
I’m also not only doing a makeover for myself but for my homelife
In small tiny increments
I’ve changed banks again
Everything is getting a makeover
EVERYTHING
I’m still expelling things from my body
I can’t stop detoxing or all my progress will be lost
Now I see how my body responds to no more 7 day treatment doses and a coffee
It’s risky, I know
I’m having die-off symptoms still
IT’S STILL INSIDE ME
I WANT IT ALL GONE
I see now how a cancer patient will give up on treatment
And just dieeee
You have to change your diet and have an incredible amount of willpower to fight it
You have to drink that nasty ass Black Walnut & Wormwood everyday (I still don’t understand the difference between every day and everyday: it was a hard concept for me to get in fifth grade and now I have a brain injury and both the examples just are the same to me, when people give me examples of the differences they are the same to me. I don’t know what to tell you – I’M STUPID)
Show me an easy way to learn them
I really want to get it but I don’t *sigh*
I’m rearranging my room – pushing the bed to the wall
I’m tired of sleeping on wires so at some point I’m buying a normal eggshell without any infusion
Lots of cushy pillows
The body pillow at the wall
My stupid ass is still on bedrest
QUARANTINED
OMG BUT DID I TELL YOU I BOUGHT THE CUTEST SHOES BUT IT WAS THE LAST SIZE AND I BETTER BE THE ONLY CINDERELLA OUT THERE
They had only ONE SIZE LEFT AVAILABLE WHEN I SAW THEM
SIZE 7
The rest were sold out
Then all gone once I bought em
DON’T LET ME DOWN UNI
These are an heirloom at this point and they haven’t even shipped…
The heels were regularly priced at $45.
But I scored them for $9.58 and want to be buried in them
Though they haven’t arrived and I’ve not had a shoe fitting
Look at these deals from Dolls Kill (a favorite store)
I can’t wait to get healthy and wear these grocery shopping though
Gonna get me a husband real quick ๐คช
The pigtails are getting long
I need a bodyguardhusband
And yes I cook but are you going to be a traditional man and pay all the bills? Cuz if I’m all in and you’re half assing it then you won’t have me as a wifey
These men turn wives into slaves and then get pissy when it’s time to treat them for a holiday or a birthday
They want us playing the traditional role and be sexually free and pay half the bills and run all of the household and make all of the decisions and raise the children on our own (with them doing the “fun stuff”)
And I’ve known a lot of women to strip to pay off their college loans and debts and I’m getting ready to do the same but I will not be doing any nasty stuff ๏ฟผ
I don’t even know if it’s nasty, I just know it’s not for me and it doesn’t serve my purpose but sensuality does
I like exploring my feminine side through cosplay and camerawork
I have a certain way I shoot and film
And many men say I don’t need a filter but they don’t mind if I use them
And I took art in school but it’s not my best subject, I’m not an artist that way, I can’t draw for shit. I’m not very good at being a makeup artist so this allows me to be theatrical a bit because I did take drama in school and I love drama and theatrics
And I do have a background in arts and entertainment (including lighting)
I’m not an expert but I have a passion for it
Long post… surprised if you’re still here listening to me ramble on!
Coffee!!! ๐คช
Medium roast and the first caffeine I’ve had in over 7 days! โ๏ธ
So now that you know everything nearly but my bra size (36b)…
I did recently learn that I should stop shopping for large and medium items
Because I’ve shed over 18 pounds of the devil’s toxic poisons from my system
SYMBIOTIC ๐๐
I CAST YOU OUT
So they’ve decided to do construction out here and there’s been these bomb like noises going off for several weeks now and my PTSD has a maximum overload button
I’m gonna get back to packing in a bit
This boat is sinking and when it’s time to jump ship I’ll be boxed and organized with only the minimum amount of things out for a decent living
I’m not taking shit with me that I don’t want to come
Those junk drawers turn into junk rooms and junk boxes
Naw man
She was drowning so I’ve jumped into this timeline during that electrical storm to help her-me
I’m split in two
I exist in multiple timelines
And goddamn I can’t remember your birthday but I love you
But if you keep hurting my daughter I’m gonna cut your dick off and kick it down your fucking throat execution style
Dig?
You’re the only one that can make us regret doing things and I know it’s you because my chest is swelling up with sickness
(I’ve never sent a man pictures of me self-gratifying – I don’t do porn, I don’t even own a toy. I’m not desensitized. PLAYING THE ANGEL)
Coffee is getting cold
And now I don’t know what’s making me tremble, the caffeine or my fucking anger
I love him for awhile Drop bombs and act hostile I’ll love him for a mile Send invite then exile
Narcissism is a plague Wildfire like my rage Your flag is acting vague Say what you mean to say
I’m sorting everything I have Every single thing I own Been logging too much weight I’m never feeling home
Been crawling with my skeleton I’m getting out of prone I’m turning on the lights I’m heading for unknown
I’m tired of washing clothes I hate to wear I’m tired of open roads Of just despair
The aftermath apparent Like an errant animal It’s so overbearing The way deep space Won’t stop starring Or acting like He’s not caring
118 pounds Can barely afford a smile He goes by too many nouns Won’t you feed me at the fairgrounds? I might put on a frown A tear for the clown Wearing a hospital gown Starving little cloud
He knows my birthday without a doubt I just haven’t figured it out
You kneel I heal That was the deal
We have to make order out of chaos Forget about the hard loss Betrayal is a hard bust We never quite will adjust
I’m going through metamorphosis I gave no notice Guess I’ll change my coordinates I am the cold porcelain
Dear John, I’m still spitting in a cup But I haven’t given up Lost my way and now I’m stuck Guess I haven’t any luck
Re: Mark Zuckerberg Someone silence that puppet Put a bullet in his nugget Don’t ask, Don’t tell who done it
Label created Clouds must be elated Happy belated Words I never stated Love’s overrated
Eventually you get tired of – The papers piling up Evidence of – I never gave a fuck
He’s always causing so much ruckus I’m losing focus Gave my two week notice He’s close to homeless
I’ve got decades of mail unopened Obviously I’m barely coping?
I’ve been lost in my own shadow Falling down every hole
I pay $50 extra a month on top of my rent for some old run down washer and dryer – for the privilege – to be able to wash and dry in my own apartment – but that isn’t included in the monthly costs – and I’m surprised they don’t charge us extra for plumbing
That’s $600 annually for my clothes to get ripped and shredded apart by the oldest fucking machines ever built
They don’t update any of our appliances with the annual rent gouging increases
I WANT MY OWN WASHER AND DRYER
I WILL PUT A BIG STAINLESS STEEL BUCKET IN THERE AND GO BY HAND
COME GET YER WASHER N DRYER
I’m gonna stink for awhile
Save my $50 per month
They make mini washing machines now
The goal is to find a free one or the other or even a cheap model
But one that is MINE
That $600 a year could be paying for land where I could be hand drying my clothes out in the sun with the trees and a line and some clothes pins which is free to dry
I told my enemy what I was up to and he said it was “smart”
I need some land out here in Florida
I’ve been disassociating for way longer than I realize but I’m organizing my entire life but my bathroom is going to get a makeover just like my entire life is getting a makeover
Yesterday I found a suitcase full of magazines in pristine condition and I couldn’t understand why I left behind three bags worth of fucking military uniforms but managed to hang onto some fucking magazines
Not magazines to put bullets in
Propaganda
And I couldn’t figure out my priorities but then I had to remember my new motto: I don’t know how we got here but let’s just fix it
I’ve re-packed those magazines in a small new packing box.
I have no idea why I held onto the collections but I reckon I’ll hang onto them for a tiny bit longer
It’s sort of the; I don’t know what to do with pile
I have also found a lot of evidence of an ex groveling to a mistress and all the trauma that was involved
I understand why I jumped into this timeline to fix myself
My entire life is getting a makeover
I’m currently detoxing and on an extreme treatment through the VA – I think I’ll need more than one round but it’s certainly working
Yesterday I’m certain I coughed out an alien looking creature
When I have the extra dough I will be spoiling myself from there
You earn points, free gifts, they have stuff for a dollar that’s better than Walmart or the Dollar Tree
I’ve signed up for the coupons but haven’t been able to shop yet!
I’m ready tho!
They seem to have some nice stuff for the home and body
Wouldn’t mind a bedroom sheet set – great prices
Also am looking at the shower curtains and cute rugs
๐ค
I just want to improve my prison sentence on earth without it costing me an arm and a leg for mindfulness or cute panties without holes or blood stains (TMI – full moon – ovulating)
She started me on a course of treatment and ordered me testing and visits to the specialist
She said, “you need to eat some sugar. I don’t want you cutting out all sugar”
And to cut back on dairy…
You will lose weight detoxing
That is not my end goal
I will work on rebuilding muscle mass and thangs when I can
I’m working on getting my 2nd bedroom redone – to utilize my yoga system the VA donated to me and start rebounding and booty gains on my Gold’s Gym fitness rebounder.
Health issues first
I’m beating a cancer like parasite eating me alive
It likes sugar
I WAS STARVING IT
Try having a sugar addiction on top of the symbiotic thing inside of you that also has a sugar addiction and can control your hormones and make you crave it
Go for it
I’ll wait…
So the exorcism continues
“Jesus Christ, that thing was real”
Yes Neo. You need to debug.
Trinity out…
P.S. making homemade soup soon – with red cabbage, rainbow carrots, potatoes, onions, celery and all
I started this new 7 day course treatment today
On top of my detoxing routine
But now I’m allowed some sugar and no dairy
*sigh*
No coffees with cream! ๐
I’m back home now and I want to go through my bunny box! ๐คฉ
I’m still organizing the clutter inside my soul and beyond…
I’m a vampyre. Got the elite blood from the elder Gods. Authentic. They can’t corrupt my DNA. ๐คจ
The Devil tried to kill me and I slept the fucking year to heal. Doing warrior thangs. Reverting back to what the Army taught me. And sometimes wounded warriors need a long time to heal cuz they get the worse wounds in battle.
I told you I was marching around the trenches and now I done got myself stuck. ๏ฟผ
I’ve been praying for answers, some of them I answered myself.
I’ve been disassociating for years. Maybe decades.
The evidence clearly shows.
My new self motto: “I don’t know how we got here, let’s just fix it.”
And when you start fixing holes in your ship, more will appear.
Don’t panic.
Find a way to plug the hole and abandon dreams if you must.
I know. Hang on. ๏ฟผ
The waves will be harder…
Don’t jump from the cliff.
Don’t give up.
If you’d like to support this blog or my poetry, I’m on Patreon! Thank you for inspiring me! โค๏ธ
It mattered while it mattered Stuck upside down Soul still shattered Saw smile for frown Then all light scattered Fell down our crown When hope was battered
Thank you for the gorgeous vegan nail polish from my Amazon wishlist! It arrived yesterday (Sunday evening)! I’m grateful! This stuff doesn’t have any bad chemicals in it to disrupt my precious hormones going full throttle! The mindfulness shouldn’t poison me! Appreciate! ๐
I’m jumping on the Patreon wagon! Thank you for considering to support me!
But also… ๐
I started a new OnlyFans – it just now got approved, I’m terrible with secrets, that’s why I’m telling you
She told me on the phone You weren’t doing good Felt good to my bone You suck at motherhood
I don’t know how we let it get this bad but we did We’ve been in fight or flight mode since a kid
Do you count the times I visit? You and the Devil in business? God as my witness I’ve been acquitted
Love don’t match the physics The rock is livid Are you good at listening? Do you think it’s christening?
Do you even miss me? Feel the hatred crippling? The hours wasting The Devil is your painting
Weapons and fingernail polish Gifts for a goddess?
There’s a river flowing through the ocean That’s where I’m going Omnidirectional I’m never chosen
What am I supposed to do father Sit around and watch in haste I watch the whole world spinning While their soul goes to waste
Murder attached to bad management Let’s call it “an accident” Near the tomb inscribed “very tragic” John Jones would claim it
I’m pretty good at bad decisions There is faith but no ambition The mirror’s not what I envision I wear a cloth but hate religion I’m making friends but not with wisdom Prayer feels like only wishing
I’m still pulling his hair from my creases He’s still putting together his thesis Wrapped up in all of me Until all life ceases
I’m cleaning out my closet I’ve got monsters on the run The walls they’ve got my claws in Digging for the sun
Hit the high ground Don’t want you around But wait don’t go Guess you can leave slow I don’t want you here But you mustn’t leave the show
Taking pride in my belongings Put a reign on the longing
Homes should come with manuals Basic do’s and don’ts – we’re animals
When there is nowhere left to go, go further in. Still that wasn’t the case for John Jones…
His map purposely left out dangerous details where others had been stuck before – and took several hours of rescue
Management said “if they were smart enough they’d know not to crawl where it was dusty” instead of putting up no crossing lines & updating the map to remove the danger zones where six months prior a rescue took place (management took it off the map completely and updated the map to remove those areas – SMART)
John Jones: I’m lost – I’m not where I thought I was
SAME BRO
I LOVE YOU
THE MAP – THE MANAGEMENT – IT NEARLY BROKE ME
DON’T BE SURPRISED IF THE STREET I WIND UP ON IS YOURS
FOUND IN A FOXHOLE NEAR YOUR FEET
God owed you a favor huh
And you used your magic powers on me
Your holistic heart approach from the heavens
Or purgatory cuz I live between realms now
The devil tried to murder me but that motherfucker didn’t succeed
He imprinted on me and now I know where he hides
You may have me in the holding cell cuz you played out all your moves and you know how this ends
I walked into this trap “free will” and you think karma won’t find you
Well hello
I’m in your lap
I’m keeping my soul
Down into the Great void you go
Ever drifting into endless purgatory
When did you lose your soul?
Do you know the moment it cost you?
I’m gonna meet you at every crossroad and burn the bridge
The Great Doom
I’m coming for you…
Her name is Apophis
You can’t leave earth or visit the moon
But please PROVE ME WRONG
The moon landings were rehearsed
With a sci-fi director
LOL
I never voted for any of this shit
I hated it here before I was born
I was trying to commit suicide on the playground at age 5
LOL
I’m gonna add some rope to the wishlist…
You can’t get a thick booty being a vegan/vegetarian or eating cheese & the Bible you worship says eating chicken is okay & you spend money on whores who have a thick booty so which is it? You need to evolve to be around other creatures with different bodily needs. How can you fuck children but then say it’s unethical to eat from my kitchen? You’re the definition of hypocrite and I fucking love it. Are you completely incapable of seeing yourself in the mirror, is that why you stare so long? Asking for a friend….
We work hard to make them first for them to throw us scraps Well I don’t give a fuck anymore I deleted the app
Thank you for beating me so that I could enjoy more of my free time and not support this fucking insanity
My PS4 is packed up – and ready to be sold at the pawn
My TV is never turned on
IDGAF
*locked and loaded*
*opens door*
COME GET ME YOU FUCKS ๐๐
Places to find me offline: the firing range ๐
Places to find me online in the future: OnlyFans (potentially – but not for porn – but definitely nude modeling cuz self-love & cosplay & photography bring me purpose – and I enjoy producing my own content for my blog & not plagiarizing from upsplash or whatever those sites are
THERE’S A GOOD CHANCE I MIGHT DIE ON THE STREET LIKE EDGAR ALLAN POE
But then someone bought me 2 vegan nail polishes from my Amazon wishlist – and that also brings me purpose
There were only 10 left in that color when it was added to my list & now there are only 9
And it’s part of my favorite color of the rainbow
And it is a birthday gift
I’m grateful for the 2 new vegan nail polishes – they don’t have any of the bad poison or chemicals in them – and having pretty nails will boost my self-esteem
Painting my nails is part of my mindfulness practices and my therapist agrees with it
Color is a mood changer – water too – or just introducing a calming element when you are about to take out the entire city
I could hunt the establishment down and go rogue but I’m waiting on my pretty nail polish to arrive instead ๐คฉ
Thank you of thinking of me for my birthday
It’s been several years since I’ve got to celebrate my birthday since I’ve been fighting this illness and basically since the pandemic started
I’m lucky to be alive and I’m still in recovery
I’m still quarantined and can’t have no fun
Basically photography is the only thing I can focus on and I want to focus on so I’m thinking of getting on onlyfans in the potential future
I need an adult account – not for tacky tasteless content
But to be an adult and post what I want (no porn or self gratification – I want to focus on sensual content and being a female – I like cosplay even tho I’m not very good with the makeup aspects of it)
I was on it once before and made it to the top 20s just doing nude modeling & I was going up against giant creators
I want to focus on just the content I put out – and my tribe I draw – if any. I don’t want to compare my account to other accounts and what they are doing and what I should be doing and how much I should post and how much I should charge and this that and the other. I just wanna focus on putting out good content.
And y’all, supplies aren’t cheap. My time isn’t cheap. But I want my content to be affordable and not compared to what others are doing. They have teams!!!!
OnlyFans keep 20% of profits, on top of tips. The IRS take another 20%. They’re raised the cost of everything cuz they don’t want us earning a penny.
I want to earn a penny and whatever pennies I do earn, I want to put towards my goal of buying land.
So I’m working very hard to get better mentally, spiritually, and physically enough to put out monthly content.
I’m not there yet.
I also have a new care team at the VA.
They basically just keep having me chase my tail until I die but I’m self treating behind the scenes.
The holistic treatments I’m starting next month are over $100 for 2 bottles.
I’m not out here blowing my money on pointless crap.
And I work hard to put out amazing content that keeps TikTok number one and they make a shit ton of money and keep 80% of any of the earnings I get over there but then will just banish me from the fucking platform.
I love being a slave just to earn some scraps and a beating just to be tossed out in the wilderness alone – and they get to keep all my fans and continue on the party like I never existed at all ๐คฉ
Woke up to an ass beating by the establishment of course
My truth doesn’t fit the narrative
But Jesus was crucified and now it’s my turn again
*sigh*
I knew turning commenting on would get me in the doghouse
Went to bed with it blowing up and woke up to the stoning zone cuz the establishment are insane and I barely want to participate in the madhouse anymore anywhere
I’D RATHER SIT ALONE IN SILENCE AND DAYDREAM THAN SUPPORT THE DEVIL, HIS MINIONS, OR NARCISSISM
I’m not mad about it but some of the comments were disturbing ๐ณ
I had a few tell me they loved me
It was an experience and it brought me in loads of followers – whom could be removed from me at any moment – laughs insanely – it’s unethical when we make these companies rich
TikTok is an Asian communist military app
I’m not its friend
But those in charge don’t even like their own people because it’s all about slave labor over there
I really want to grow my own food and become self-reliant
My birthday is this month
I’m trying to make it to 44 and not leap from a bridge or have a heart attack before then
They want us living in fear
I’m not gonna do it
I’m sleeping with my windows open and if you get anywhere near me I will fucking cut your head off
I will gut you before my eyes are open
FOOK OFF WITH YOUR DEMONIC HATE
We need to start protesting these apps
They’re unethical for consumption
And you shouldn’t be letting your children anywhere near shopping centers that sell adult toys out in the open in front of children and the VA now have Do Ask Do Tell signs everywhere – with LGBT trained coordinators ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ
We need to go back to keeping your sexuality undisclosed
It’s a fucking cult
DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN AT THE MALL UNLESS YOU WANT THEM EXPOSED TO ADULT SEX CONTENT OR POTENTIAL SHOOTERS
RED FLAGS RED FLAGS RED FLAGS
SUBLIMINAL MESSAGING IS USED BY THE ESTABLISHMENT TO CREATE HARM
THEY PUT IT IN MUSIC AND FILM AND I’M CERTAIN TOXIC PORN
If the establishment don’t lose their grip, everything that they worked hard for to get to the top is going to crumble into nothingness
They think they have the mountains and the caves but they’re not safe there
We’re hunting them down
I’ve trained for this all my life and please let me go Vladimir Tepes on them
PoeEternal 