I don’t think the Mall should be selling adult toys. I went in for a cute hat, now I’m traumatized. Anal plugs and vibrators right next to the Lava Lamps. 😑
I used 1 hashtag only, it was a TRIGGER WARNING hashtag cuz I assumed the algorithm would keep it sitting at zero views
I turned commenting off because it wasn’t up for debate
It was an early morning rant
It was casual content, not necessarily anything viral worthy
And I was prepared for the video to tank
Instead it’s had over 350 likes, 7 saves, 1 share, and over 1900 plays 👀
It’s also brought me in a ton of new followers, like a ton.
And now my overall like tally is sitting at 29,600. Insane.
I think you’re allowed to accept gifts and tips at 10,000 followers (I could be wrong)
TikTok pay out how they want per TOS
So it’s a biased platform and they keep most of the profits and reward unethically
It’s still cool
I’m happy I still have enough followers to go live
My brand new microphone is still sitting packed up in a box, I have several new cosplay outfits I never got to use (bloody theatrical makeup too), and I haven’t been able to do much cardio since getting the death jab, I’ve been fighting for my life
I’m currently initializing my PS4 because I intend to sell it at the pawnshop, along with accessories and games (unless I get back on eBay which is also a plan)
Gaming isn’t what it used to be, the content isn’t worth the price, the community sucks
I’m taking back my life and time (I rarely play or watch TV)
And at my own speed
I don’t want to die on the street like Edgar Allan Poe
I started 2 new bottles of detox to my routine
Supports a healthy gut – doesn’t have any bad shit in it, has Probiotics, is time-released, I’m on dose 2
The other new bottle is Turmeric and Ginger, also no bad stuffs.
But also ordered 2 more bottles of Black Walnut & Wormwood because it will kill cancer and is clearing out the mucus
I’ve got out most of the bad shit that was making me stank
I’m not gonna lie, I was having die off symptoms where my under arms were smelling like sulfur
I’m getting to the point where I don’t even need to wear deodorant anymore
But also deodorant causes cancer and hormonal imbalances
If you stink you need to detox your gut
Other countries deworm annually
America is a FOR SICK PROFIT CAMPAIGN RUN BY THE MAFIA (China/Russia/Mexico)- BIG PHARMA (India), THEY DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU
I also restocked my nut supply
2 1/2 pounds of heart healing goodness
I thought long and hard about not ordering chicken this month for groceries
Even considered getting some of those vegan chicken patties and burgers
Naw
I’m eating clean
Eggs. Chicken. Turkey. Less dairy. Lots of Beans. Nuts. Water. Minimal fruit, I don’t want the sugar while detoxing
I also cold quit drinking soda and eating fast food, chips, and junk food several months ago
I uninstalled the chipotle app and emailed them and told them to delete my data
FUCK THIS ESTABLISHMENT
I support real farmers
I want some chickens of my own to care for and pull guard duty
For the fresh daily eggs
I got the insomnia anyway
I’m a soldier so I know how to reside around many people with different cultures backgrounds and diets and it’s probably why I am a flexitarian
I’m not a big meat eater, never have been
But I’m anxious to start my rebounding journey again
My booty has a little wiggle to it now but I’m happy to still be alive
My lungs are improving but I do still have difficulty drawing breath and my heart has trouble circulating
I no longer feel blood clots throughout my body or trying to push through my arteries and veins
Rebounding is resistance training – which is exactly what someone in my age group should focus on – strength training
Rebounding includes cardio tho so I gotta be careful
It’s summer though and the bike rides are imminent
I’m over 400 years old and people are calling me old 🙄
MY BLOODLINE COMES FROM ANCIENT GODS
I have one of the oldest and rarest blood-types
I’ve had a number of things trying to kill me lately left and right
The more they try to alter my DNA and control me, the less control they have
THE GREAT ANOMALY
Perhaps we’re all born with Great Filters of our own
They use fearmongering to rule
It’s like a negative energy wave rolling through
Those who don’t hang on get yeeted out of life, or left homeless
I saw the bad things happening when I was working for the Department of Defense and the policies continued to get changed which was affecting my military career
Then came the Government furloughs and hiring freezes
The immigrants are sitting like kings on thrones
But are delusional and don’t understand why no one wants to work for low wages and in toxic environments
I’d fucking quit if a job made me use Zoom or FaceBook on the job
If the entire system collapses I still have my skill sets to fall back on and that will go a long way in a community when the lights are out
I might need some help climbing a fence or a wall but that’s never stopped my comrades from helping me get over it
I know I’ve been cutting a lot of people out of my life but it’s because I’m trying to develop into the person I want to become
Holistic approach – cleansing the mind, body, and soul
I transcribed your dream The message read: BE STILL But there could be a landslide On this hill Careful where you’re putting Down your gear And maybe ground your fear Just be still You need courage The end is near
I love you.
I’m living in a parallel universe Four simultaneously The search for purpose Only finding curses Weathering leather And bloodied verses Unholy wishing Gaslighting nurses Controlling lightning I come through circuit Rarely truly surface Far reaching Angelic Though sun a furnace The Devil’s hand is sternness I’m too damn earnest
Homeostasis The racist call me racist His poetry as an oasis I’m running out of patience
Invite only I’m growing lonely
They’re planning an invasion The Asians
It’s like he’s pushing me to the edge So he can follow suit And if I leap from the ledge It’s something he’ll pursue
Dating is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store
“Problem loading content” Not sure where hope went He’s rarely present These halls are haunted
My hair is 1000% homegrown from my skull yah know… (I’d let you be the keeper of my bones)
I need less resistance But I keep pushing the distance Confusing the algorithm Changing logistics
And he’s persistent Budding appearance Creating division Swollen and twisted
How to not fall into a pit – I haven’t learned it
There’s a spider living near me He keeps building webs And though I’m surely cleaning He knows my habits well (true story)
Every mirror is haunted with my reflection
I’m suffocating Crawling through your mines 120 meters inside 30 feet below a deadline
How to create healthy boundaries instead of building walls? How to find stillness instead of crawling down the halls?
He’s sabotage Removes my camouflage
One second applause Then next dislodge
Knows just what I want His hand will taunt
I got your message Unintentionally I felt your presence Was it meant for me?
Earth will become hell I’m holding the seventh seal All of heaven will fall silent I’m not here to heal
My closet is full of dead dreams The drawers filled with hurting The handles broke and dirty I’m over 40….
I was born with an extra vertebrae I got the death jab They altered my DNA Feel I can close hell’s gateway The more they order The less I obey People dropping dead Next month is my birthday Some call me evil God I won’t betray
He’s running circles Watching me evolve Climbing crimson skies He knows how hard I fall
Fall down seven times Get up eight I’m morally bankrupt With a penny on my plate
It’s like I’m crawling into a sinking ship, and he’s dying to come with…? 👀
Sometimes he leaves me breadcrumbs of where he’s been Maybe kisses of magic Maybe stitching in havoc I’m here idling
I’m looking at star trails And I’m burning all my matches Leaving webs for what he catches Or a map leading to more spells?
John is down here with me I talk to him like he’s living
These guys out there buying fake diamonds And truth is like silence
Have you found the secret book? It’s a world of deceit Well I’ve ripped your pages Feel incomplete for what I took
13 months of 28 days
With an added day of resurrection
13 constellations
Hesitating every direction
365 days of lost conception
SEPT equals seven OCT falls on eight Allow me to elaborate
NOV enduring nine DEC is ten JAN means eleven Your eyes look just like heaven FEB is twelve I know you’d love me if you didn’t serve yourself MAR ends with thirteen April is for birthing! (the starting one) Now count them up April is the first month We’re living a different time
APRIL IS THE FIRST MONTH, THE CALENDAR IS 13 – feel free to check the star charts – the sky – whatever you want – 13 constellations – tell the Devil he’s losing time – he’s not getting mine 😈
The truth don’t lie – Neo open your eyes
SEPT MEANS SEVEN NOT MOTHERFUCKING NINE 👍👍
13 x 28 = 365 (you’re welcome) (don’t forget the plus one to grow on – resurrection)
LEVEL UP ASCENSION GOD MODE ON (humbly and universally) (you die in the Matrix, you die for real for real) (have fun)
Shut the eyes of trespassers The sun is down all day Antarctica is turning red My tongue careless what to say
Can you lead me heavenwards I don’t show lines of grey But you’re like a figurehead I am lost either way
He’s like a shutter rarely open Torrential rainfall in the forest If your lens is in focus We’re really hopeless
Freckled spots among the leafless Limbs are growing Though we’re porous
With constant flooding Accumulation of our fears Without love So malnourished
Nothing but a debris field I hope he lives here Larger than the ocean I really need him
self-portrait circa June 2022
You’re a sentinel program sent to destroy Age 36 but still a boy
Go through the ceremony but don’t get the certificate Get married but don’t have the state involved with it Give them details but don’t get specific Crash into depression, but tell everyone you’re terrific
I’ve got a bad attitude but maybe I’m not bad And if you see me smiling, it’s likely that I’m sad
God or wild beast – my prayers heard the least
He seems to hate me with contempt The lines were crossed Up went a fence
The sign read not welcome Whatever I did I forget
SHE KNOWS I KNOW YOU KNOW WE KNOW SOMETHING OR SO
We are the Bermuda triangle 🔺
Intense radiation heat can leave behind a shadow. Poetry or portfolio. You are my meadow.
All the laughing, excitement and sensationalizing on someone’s sorrow; They don’t have a moral compass to follow.
I’m basically housebound with this illness. My health is up and down. My mental health is suffering. I continue to practice mindfulness but I swear I feel my depression is growing worse. I’m practicing gratitude more. I’m trying to live in the now but it’s growing extremely difficult with the current establishment. I’m lost but then I’m found. I’m compassionate and then I’m swimming in darkness and hate.
self-portrait April 2021
All the neighbors are getting along. Hello we continue to mumble. We’re getting letters on our doors on if we’re in “good standing” or not. Everything is a dictatorship. Every turn the burn of a whip.
AND I’M FUCKING INSANE
I might as well start coloring the walls.
I am simultaneously moving and not moving at the same time.
“Well, this can go in a box, we won’t be here forever”.
“Well this might as well get put away, we can stick around for awhile”.
It’s a fucking insane asylum in here.
But, I’m working on getting my extra bedroom organized and re-done.
I got my trampoline back those motherfuckers stole my goddamn fucking key and lock.
And I mean this was a lock I didn’t want to lose, I even got the CEO involved and those motherfuckers stole my goddamn lock anyway.
I got to lose sleep, several nights of sleep, over the fact that my lock got stolen.
Every conversation to God: “this is hell and I’m a monster” 😩
I don’t know how to be a human, I don’t even know how to exist in the same room as another person.
Shit is deep
I don’t even know who you are and I can’t live without you.
I’m a mean girl
I don’t wanna be nice
But I’m in intense therapy which extends outside the office visit hours
It requires constant self-reflection and control
It’s exhausting and not at all easy re-programming yourself to not be self-serving
Or completely fucked up from previous traumas
And I got to continue to hear on TikTok about how women are obsolete over the age of 40
Women have been obsolete since they started their fucking periods… 🖕
I’m getting back to rebounding soon tho – I rescued my trampoline and I’m gonna go back to rebounding at home. I am small and petite but would like to work on my booty gains. It won’t ever be picture perfect. I’m a mama with stretch marks and saggy boobs! ✌️
I don’t really get to play the role of mama tho unfortunately.
I don’t get to be a human at all.
Your porn and propaganda is working.
Shame you don’t have the willpower to be who you were meant to be.
And I’m sick of everybody with the same personality. It’s a cult. 👀
I want to play dress up again and be more proactive in the blogging community but I’m still fighting for my life.
And I can’t help but cry about the state of everything.
And your poetry brings me life.
Are you performing anywhere?
Do you appreciate your fans?
(*whispers* please do an audiobook so I can fall asleepto you)
You feel that way too, that women are obsolete over 40?
He said we can all have our cats 😑
I’m trying not to disappear so – it would be nice to hear your voice for a change instead
You do everything so perfectly how hard could it be
I’m over 40 so I’m supposed to be obsolete now but I don’t even have a grey fucking hair
*jumps from bridge*
But that great white has been revisiting so I could just you know take a dive out there into the ocean- it would be really easy to get swallowed up in that tide like that 14-year-old last week or that great white who is taking bites out of Human’s
He’s big too
What a way to meet your fears
I’d probably have a heart attack before he’d get near
I freak out just seeing the tide at the seawall 👀
I might be out there in the morning watching sunrise
“We’re sickened by…” as the cops sit around and do nothing
“It’s a federal matter” as our country and policies get destroyed by propaganda and immigration
More civilians are aware that cops are USELESS to protect the citizens
And just like that the 2A was used to stop a gunman at the Mall who was targeting and killing innocent women
A 22 year old male STOPPED the gunman
And now more people will start playing hero of the day
I suspect subliminal messaging is being used – on those who watch porn and horror or listen to certain music
“You will buy a gun”
Yes you will
And you will go to the range and you will start practicing to learn to defend yourself and those around you 👍👍
And maybe you’ll save a 12 year old girl from being shot at the mall
SHE SURVIVED
(Another shooting happened in Indiana on Thursday. Just stay home or get you a weapon and a carry permit)
If you’re a soldier with a DD 214 you won’t need to go to any kind of civilian classes because you’ve already been trained by the fucking militia so you’ll just need to worry about your carry permit and whatever else your state requires
But you get to pass Go, you’ll still need to pay some dollars for the permit 🤪
We wasn’t worried about immigration when we were playing Monopoly were we
Hollywood is pumping you full of mental trash – that causes mood and behavioral changes – as well as brain damage
I’m glad you and your porn star can talk about the latest Batman movie though but you won’t catch me in the fucking theaters
FUCK YOU and the Minions too 🖕
And I hate Google. I’m not sharing any articles because many of them are forcing you to pay for their junk now – which is mostly gaslighting and propaganda – so you can just Google a different article until you find one that is free information. Fuck subscribing to this insanity. You’re literally funding it. I SAID LITERAL. DEAL WITH IT
I’m parting galaxies to say goodbye Dark energy is a force that repels But space was occupied And like the The Great Attractor You’re 300,000,000 million light-years wide
I gave you keys to my trust and you broke it when I was vulnerable Barging into the night a maniac drunken on furor All around you the ground dishonor You’ve been AWOL in spirit and now demand rescue Your only form of payment sabotage
You’ve pissed all over my door And even now the stench is more than I can handle Full throttle now as I drop my stern There are bodies collecting under the hull
My regrets are tiny fractions compared to your sin’s shadow And every moment now it is growing taller: see what you’ve done Your bridge is so far burned that galaxies are splitting dimensions
I sat in the dark void dying How the ocean crushes you the deeper you fall God was the only one who heard my crying Even now, my heart beats differently
He makes me feel 1000 years old 👎👎
You should have left it fantasy. Or, at the very least, not reduced me to a working free whore.
I don’t need anyone or anything devaluing my life.
Therapy is a lot work, you’re a train wreck.
You act a child as if a prize.
You’re gonna get blocked.
Even better, a restraining order.
I had a little fun with you behind closed doors, attempting to role-play, but your intentions are clearly sinister.
I never asked you to divulge who you were, or personal details of your life, mixing fantasy with real life.
And having the audacity to treat me like trash during the worst time of my life. 👍
Yeah cool but we’re done.
You can fuck off now.
I want to work on building healthy relationships with normal human beings.
I am in intense therapy to change my bad habits and thoughts.
I don’t owe you a fucking thing.
I don’t have to tell you to never call me again because I’ll change my fucking number and address.
I’ll never make the mistake of having fun behind closed doors either.
I am not a sex worker nor have I ever taken or sent photos of me performing sex acts.
I have done nude modeling in the past, I’m not ashamed.
I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TACKY WITH ANYONE.
You’re a disgusting individual.
Stay away from me.
I don’t need you coming into my inbox treating me like a sex object and I know you keep all your favorite porn stars number one – so get the fuck out of my life
I’m a GOOD GIRL
I’ve just fallen on some hard times and unfortunately bad people take advantage of that.
You’re two different people.
I wouldn’t even give a fuck if you knew how to treat me with an ounce of dignity and respect but you don’t even know how to treat yourself that way.
I don’t wish any harm of you.
I’m just not gonna waste my time praying you will get better.
You’re sinking my ship.
Don’t make me cut you off.
You’re crossing lines you cannot return from.
I CANNOT RETURN FROM THE DEPTHS YOU ARE PUSHING ME.
So change is hard. Reprogramming requires commitment. Daily sacrifice. Stopping negative thoughts. Mindfulness. You gotta climb after that shit like Mount Everest. YOU GOTTA WANT IT.
“But I like being sinister”. You’ve never tried anything else. And that’s the Devil talking. You should be put down. Like a homeless pet. Or an animal with the taste for human blood.
You shouldn’t be allowed to wander the streets of a “civilized society”. 🙄
Personally, I’m under development currently.
UNDER CONSTRUCTION
I want to learn to exist with another when the time comes.
I also need a class on organization or for somebody to help me but I am still trying to figure it all out.
Windows open. Fresh air. Detoxing on Apple Cider Vinegar and Black Walnut & Wormwood DAILY
I MADE IT THROUGH ANOTHER NIGHT
I’M GOING TO TRY TO MAKE IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAY
I don’t have any design skills
I move furniture and things around from one spot to another
There’s got to be some better order
I hang things up with thumb tacks
Curtain’s are a foreign concept
I’ll eat food cold from the can 😑
Some people are rich and eat from pizza boxes while judging from their empty thrones
Stop telling people to be happy no matter what happens to them
I GUESS I SHOULD BE HAPPY MY FATHER SEXUALLY MOLESTED ME
MAYBE I SHOULD INVITE HIM OVER FOR DINNER
MAYBE WE CAN START FUCKING AGAIN
🖕
CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT WORTHY OF BEING HAPPY IN
OTHERWISE SHUT THE FUCK UP
THERE IS NO FORGIVENESS FOR THEIR SINS
GOD WOULD EAT DINNER WITH ME
GOD GIVES ME LIFE
YOU DON’T DECIDE MY WORTH
YOU DON’T GET TO DESTROY ME OVER AND OVER AND THEN CONDITION ME TO BE HAPPY ABOUT IT
GET OUT OF YOUR BUBBLE
I WILL DESTROY IT
POP POP
Like a needle in a haystack – I won’t look back
Give me a game of dominoes and shot of cognac
WHERE MY BROTHERS AT?
I just need to get back to soldiering and like go on a ruck march but I can barely fucking get my house together and I’m not dropping dead from this jab
No fuck that – I’m filing for state disability and these motherfuckers are gonna pay me for killing me
I HAVE A PERMANENT HEART CONDITION AND CURRENTLY BROKEN IMMUNE SYSTEM AND THESE MOTHERFUCKERS CATCHING COVID LEFT AND RIGHT
As far as I’m concerned I’m age 5 and everyone has fucking cooties and I’m gonna wash my hands and I’m going to social distance – which means you need to keep at least 6 feet from me and I’m going to fucking wear my mask
I’ve yelled at cops for getting too close to me 👀
I DON’T FUCK ABOUT 🤨
I nearly blew out my left lung and my heart swelled up 3 sizes
In fact, one chamber closed off and another enlarged
I CAN BARELY TOLERATE THE FLORIDA WEATHER ✋🛑✋
I’m HOUSEBOUND
DEAL WITH IT
QUARANTINED
For the foreseeable future
Until my health improves
Which it has been because I am able to venture out to the park and the beach occasionally or even to the grocery store which is normally hard to do and Walmart just gave me an extra two free weeks for the Walmart + membership trial so I’ll be using it one more time for the free shipping and delivery. It’s better than attempting to shop myself. I’ve had to cut shopping short several times due to my health. Same with trips to the park or beach.
LIFE ISN’T ROSES OUT HERE, IT’S THORNS
Actually, there may be a bloom or two and that’s why I’m still going
If it looks like a dragon fruit though I’ll starve because there’s some fruit I just won’t touch, same with animals
Yeah no…
Hungry but pass
The wildlife are getting a treat – they deserve to eat more than me
And he fucks children and gets pissed at me for eating chicken 🐓
Typical hypocritical super Christian
Personally, they should be put down like an animal that has a taste for human blood🩸
Eye for an eye
LET ME EXACT MY JUSTICE ON MY PARENTS AND THEN MAYBE I WILL BE HAPPY
JUST KNOWING THEY AREN’T BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS ME, FOR STARTERS
CLOSURE FOR HEALING
THERE’S A CONCEPT
MAYBE STOP HURTING YOUR CHILDREN SO WE CAN BE HEALTHY HAPPY ADULTS
Instead, FOREVER THERAPY!!!! YAY!!! 🥳
With the ever stopping rental increases, the noise pollution, the forming cults left and right, my never ending awakening into hell, the regret of being upside down in a cave, letting others convince me it’s the path I should take, DYING ALONE ALIVE AND YOUNG
Not knowing when the end is coming but just knowing currently my body is not in anaphylactic shock
EVERY BREATH HURTS AND I’M FIGHTING FOR A LIFE THAT WANTS TO JUMP FROM A BRIDGE
That’s all…
I’m okay 👍
I’m dying where I want – if I can just sit still
THE LIONS DEN
Also, I’m in therapy and detoxing because I want to be a valuable human
So far it’s minimal
YES THERE ARE MILESTONES
It’s the falls off the cliffs and getting stuck in caves proving to be the biggest dangers ⚠️
Dying on the street from madness (there)
Or worse, an immigrant or narcissist who doesn’t understand boundaries invading your space
I BITE
KEEP BACK ☠️
I’m not just gonna stand out in the open while you gut me and pistol fuck me in the face
I’m always cleaning but the house is never clean He explained his reason but I don’t know what it means I keep on dusting but there’s dust thick on the screen I read his poetry and consume it like proteins 👀
I call to him Through wind and pen And like the Tower of Babel He’s comes crumbling
I’m not allowed to communicate with him in any form So the moon grows full And the earth will storm
LMAO – there’s at least one cop who is sick of the bullshit. This is the hope I’m living for. The Federal government is out of control, “nothing we can do” – unless you are this Sheriff who is driving illegal immigrants back to the border.
It’s the Wild Wild West 👀
There’s clearly a division forming between immigration/globalism and real Americans
We all woke up in Trinity mode ready to defend and uphold the 2nd Amendment
Sometimes God destroys things out of anger Like my love for you that would linger Because love won’t set you free tied to an anchor The devil acts a friend though he’s a stranger
The next person that boasts they’ve reached Christ consciousness, I’m going to ask them to show me their fucking crucifixion scars
If they fail to comply, I’m going to crucify them UPSIDE DOWN
PART VAMPYRE
I got the elite blood
One of the rarest and eldest in existence
I’m not an organ donor, never will be 👀
You can’t have any parts alive or dead
FUCK OFF
These motherfuckers can’t even live without their Fitbits
Fallen Angel technology
YOU NEED TO DEBUG
UNPLUG
YOU’VE BEEN WARNED
Espionage is everywhere
Byeeee
P.S. stop calling this CIVILIZATION when porn breeds MONSTERS
It’s gaslighting
And guys are so egotistical and think we want the dick so bad that we’ll slave for them cooking, cleaning, raising children, working all day and night, while they make minimal effort but maximum stress
The divorce rate ever increasing
It ain’t looking good over here
Men don’t understand why I’m single and never married
Uhm PORN
I want a partner when I’m ready
Not a manchild
You won’t eat at my kitchen but God is fucking burning down monuments for me so fuck you
Thank you so much for the sweet donation that I received over the weekend
I’m trying to center, I’m trying to find my calm in all this
Any activity causes my heart to hurt
Especially getting angry
I’m still sorting through the mental and financial collapse
Folks don’t realize I lost my entire retirement savings – and regular savings.
Years and years of retirement savings gone
So the immigrants could have my job
The cops here say, “it’s federal, nothing we can do”
DICTATORSHIP
Trust me, I’m well known as “red flagged” to the establishment
They know I’ve moved over into the homicidal territory
Armed and dangerous and you’re still not gonna take my right to buy a weapon or to hold one or to fire one
Do you remember when they tried to outlaw alcohol and that law completely failed – yeah try to do that with our guns China – go for it – try to do it, try to take our guns from us, try it, try to put it on paper that we can’t even buy a gun and see what happens, go for it – try it, I dare you! I triple fucking dare you!!
This whole fucking thing is going to collapse if they don’t get off my dick
😇
Pro life tip: You should never tip before you are served
This whole generation of TIP ME NOW AND BEFORE I’VE DONE MY JOB IS BULLSHITE
I hate these fucking policies
And do you know how much effort it is taking me to get my account and data deleted from the Chipotle app? It’s insane!
I’ll never download another app for anything
It should not be this hard to delete yourself from the web
JESUS CHRIST SAVE ME NOW
Has anyone ever unscrambled it? Is it like an anagram for the Devil?
That book of lies
6000 years of gaslighting and dictatorship
I’m DONE
I want to sell my TV and get a DUMB phone.
The problem is, if you get a home line, the only calls you will get are from politicians and the cops wanting money from you because it’s all a fucking scam. And you can’t opt out
Just like we can’t opt out our private home addresses from receiving spam mail for junk food and that is why the Amazon rainforest is being cut down
Immigration is a Trojan horse
When do we save Mother Earth and ourselves
Oh but you have your porn!!!!!!
Porn has rotted your heart and brain!
In other news, I got my printer set up in my master bedroom now. I guess dying makes it harder to manage a household. But whatev.
The black ink is out, but I got the new driver installed on my MacBook so that was a feat in itself. My laptop is aware of the printer and vice versa.
I also have plenty of professional paper to print on, once I sort out the black ink.
I’ve been pulling rare collectibles and other items I plan to list on the eBay – it’s like having an online garage sale.
I have some cool stuff that belong in the hands of someone who will use it. It’s extremely hard for me to part with, but I have bigger goals now tho.
Like being a land owner 👍
Learning how to grow & harvest food
I’m sick of advertising and TV!!!!
I rarely play games
I’m not into entertainment anymore
There’s too much propaganda and busy busy going on
I just want to chill
What the narcissist think is “boring”, is actually just peace
It’s serenity
They don’t want us anywhere near it
It’s poke prod poke prod tee hee I don’t have a fucking soul
“I was joking”
*rolls eyes
It ain’t the disabled vets causing all this disruption and corruption tho
I know y’all like to blame us and pick on us tho…
I also know white people are blamed for the worlds problems – propaganda 101
If u white, u hated for your skin
And then they force us to live next to one another, packing us in like cattle
Watching the slaughter unfold
The immigrants don’t even have to work hard at stealing our country…
Still detoxing. Still having chest pains. Still emo as fuck. Still up and down with my sister dying a few months ago. Try having your blood sister die while you’re in the middle of a fall out with your entire family so you will never find closure.
Men treat me like a sex object
I’ve never had a father/husband/brother figure
But I’ve had many proposals, “you’ll never have to work again…”
As if, cleaning and cooking isn’t work
Or raising a child, managing a household
As if taking care of a man isn’t a job
“Women got it easy”
And worse, if they think you are pretty, they think everything was handed to you on a silver platter, because beauty bias exists
Furthermore, men don’t want a friendship with me, they want sex. If they aren’t getting sex, they’re good as ghost.
It’s only hell because we’ve been in a 6000-year-old worldwide prison system based on that BOOK
And that same establishment continues to tweak its policies until you’ll believe they are the creator of you, with your OOOH AHHHH Fitbits
They use gaslighting, lovebombing, triangulation to control
With politicians, actors, influencers, teachers, preachers, cops
It’s disgusting
“But if you work hard you can own a home”
That was the Great Lie the Boomer generation sold
Then Ghosted an entire fucking generation after we’ve been the most dedicated, the most hard working, and ORIGINAL
And we watch all the younger generation’s steal our fucking content and give us no credit – and the Boomers reward them with free housing or financial assistance
The rest of us are out here winging it, living on the fucking streets, in our campers, eating one meal a day, so we can buy some fucking land before it’s too late…
Starting communities
I don’t want 5G or anywhere around it
It’s a cancer
Fuck this New Age digital world, I don’t want any part of this future
Where I don’t even have freedom of speech or my art protected
These men preyed and preyed and preyed sexually upon my best friend who died by suicide and she was 13
I’ll never recover
Her birthday was May 1
She died April 7, 1993 (just shy of her 14th birthday)
357 magnum to the head
Lost the last letter she wrote me
But there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her and if I had pictures of her I wouldn’t have them stored away like everybody else who wants to forget her
And Miley Ray Cyrus sounds just like her but Miley Ray Cyrus wasn’t born but we did get to meet her dad together Billy Ray Cyrus so that was pretty fun
Mems.
There’s a picture of them floating around somewhere, not online or anything
We met lots of bands together
Pre cellphone days
I can barely even prove that she existed, there’s just this hole in my gut
They preyed upon me too baby girl
This world is too much
You were so brave
Braver than me
I wish I had your courage to die
The Judge knew I was suicidal in 2018 and wouldn’t even talk to me until I took a few breaths
She said in front of the entire courtroom that I looked like I was about to jump from the bridge behind me
Also, I had a weapon upon arrival that I didn’t know – when trying to enter – and the cop repeated the question 3 times – I laughed – “wait, do I have one?” and I did. A little mini nail file thingy that I got in the mail by the Wounded Warrior project lol
So before I could even go into the courtroom I had to walk my little mini knife all the way back to my vehicle… and then return
And by the time I made it to the Judge – good lord the humility of being sued
By the end of the session we had the entire courtroom laughing, me and the Judge..
She directly explained to me how they could get my money tho… which is untouchable
Like if I wanted to buy a plane ticket right now and just fly somewhere, the government could be like oh no oh no you you fucking owe us some money come here bitch we’re going to take your plane flight
But it must suck for the men who want to prey on me and take my money because I can get married and divorced and they can’t touch it
You can’t touch what I earned but they can keep raising my rent and the food costs… FYI
The suicide rate continues to increase among military and Veterans
Somebody recently sent me 20 bucks and I bought me some medicinals 👍
I know this isn’t my best work, I just woke up crying and I decided to put it into a poem so I just freestyle got this off my chest…
I’m okay 👍👍
Saddest girl in the world (squared)
Side note: I’m making right with my creditors and it was only for a little bit. But they can’t directly dock my check.
Having chest pains + a cup of coffee chocolate cream (vessel constrictor) (caffeine)
Apparently my blog is blowing up and it makes me scared when it blows up when I’m ranting about sensitive topics.
I love you no matter your color
But I’m casting demons back to hell
So ask yourself, are you behaving like a human or a demon?
You can’t even see your own reflection, can you? 👀
Is that why the narcissist stares at himself in that photo? I can’t remember the artist but you know the one. He’s pointing to himself.
Y’all I fell deeper in the rabbit hole
I swear John is down here with me and he’s been fixing my heart
I’m still detoxing every single day and today I managed a small bike ride – but the humidity makes it too hard on me
I’m dying and I can’t contend with the elements
I do really do believe all the weather manipulation going on in Dubai is fucking up the United States
That’s part of the rabbit hole but not the sinister stuff I’m meditating on pulling from the ether
He doesn’t want me to love you (or write you poems)
That’s not the rabbit hole either
I’m not discussing that now
That’ll be in another upcoming late night or early morning rant
If I could learn to segregate my blog from poetry/rants/photography that’d be great
And a contact form
One day I’ll have some spare pennies to make a new website happen
Have all my little ducks in a row
I think that’s the only reason I delete my rants is because I don’t want it to interfere with my poetry but I still need a place where I can express myself and have free speech and the Internet should include free speech
I’ve never denied I wasn’t EMO or dealing with suicidal tendencies and that I use my blog for therapeutic purposes
It’s just – my personality turns people off – they don’t see the writing ✍️
I’m grateful for the tribe I do have – and your patience with me in blogging
Cuz I suck at it
Like die naked on the street insane – kind of suck
I was dark and depressed when I came out of my mom’s evil womb
Her husband/my daddy was fucking me but she swears I am the devil
VICTIM BLAMING
CHRISTIAN HYPOCRITE
Dieeeeeeeeee
I’m trying to find compassion I’m trying to find compassion I’m trying to find compassion
“Why am I upside down”
“Why did you put me here…”
SAME
The things I think about doing to both of them 👀
Find yer zen babe
I gotta go
I gotta detox the Devil outta me
I love these!! 😍
I am so grateful for your visits and chatting with me!
I’m extremely grateful for your compassion towards me when I don’t have it myself
I’m learning to be more compassionate towards all things
It’s not normally immediate
I don’t know what I’m doing out here, that’s why I’m in therapy and practicing mindfulness
I know it takes a lot longer to dispel negative thoughts than it does positive ones and it takes a lot longer to recharge your body
The sun is great for recharging between sunrise and sunset
When I get the Jeep back up and running, I will be back on TikTok going live at the park and at the beach for the sunrise 👍
But people are murdering each other in the streets here
I’m gonna start going live to read my poetry and stuff and I’m terrified to do it but since I’m terrified to leave my house and I’m trying to practice mindfulness and some of y’all have stated you miss me going live, I’m gonna try to do this
My gorgeous microphone from the XMAS holiday still has not been unpacked 🤪
I definitely don’t look my best dying but I want to do my nails and my pigtails and maybe I’ll start off simple and just record a fucking video because I do have 10 minutes now to play around with…
Sometimes I can write decently… I rarely re-share my own works because I haven’t took a break or stopped writing or fell on writer’s block
But I should re-visit my writings and get them on TikTok so TikTok can threaten to remove all my content and keep me on a low vibrational frequency like all these other apps do… 
It’s a re-post, so if you want to read the poem, you gotta click that little hyperlink above ✌️
Also, I’m sorry for my terrible behavior in the blogging community, I was full of fucking big Pharma and suicidal
And thus, after a few generations, it’ll be easier to accept that we’re virtual reality and turning us into a walking computer
Because we create our own reality
And you’ll be able to trace technology back to the Asian AI Gods, everyone will worship AI and be further separated from our true creator
A man does not bleed from his legs for a week every month in agony and emotional distress
He does not carry life inside his womb
Nor does he feed another life from the milk created from his breasts
Man has turned everything artificial in an attempt to play the almighty God creator
He’s insane
Wants what we’ve got
When asking a man why he’d like to experience being a woman, the answer is always “multiple orgasms” – it’s disgusting
I’m having difficulty living in any of these realities you force upon me
Men blame women for everything and all species are going extinct
In the name of AI
All hail AI
But so many are incapable of a personality or a soul
So they shame the free thinkers
They call sexually free women whores
Everything has been conditioning so that science can play morals and ethics and come along and say “we’ve got the cure” but they caused the disease 🦠
White people and Native American are being systematically terminated – and they use Black people against us – propaganda – when slavery started in Africa
The Bible is bad – the one that is mass circulated and taught – the one that has been re-written many times
When I was young, “how can they change time”
“How do they know the sun is that far”
Turns out everything has been a lie
And any time I got in the sun with “sun block” I burned – with gaslighting – never do put two and two together
I do not burn in the sun without sunblock 
The sun is good for you 👀
I also hated eating sugary products for breakfast, I would tell my mother that it made me sick
They also forced me to eat meat when I didn’t want to
“Chicken or beef” they’d say
“But I want the grilled cheese it’s cheaper too”
“Chicken or beef” they’d say
Fucking dictators
I hate this life
There’s no way I chose my family before coming here, there’s no way
It’s been torture
This life
And he condemns me for my food choices when he eats from a cardboard box
It’s unhealthy and those cows are definitely not being treated well – those junk food establishments – they have zero ethics and ensure the animals suffer
But he sits there eating from his box casting his stones
He thinks he’s reached Christ consciousness and he doesn’t even understand compassion for a dying person who should have the obligation and the right to choose how they want to fucking eat 👀
Also, notice how rich people always want things for cheap or free
Free rides, free rent, whatever they can get for free
As long as they don’t have to spend their money
But they will always act like it’s the end of the fucking world anytime something comes up for them and it always turns out that their options are really fucking good
The entire world is lost and I have to just watch the Titanic sink while people are playing music and rescuing gems on boats that could hold and save more people but ewww I would not share a table with her
“But weren’t you just fucking her”
Because men have been conditioned by the porn that they watch day in and day out over decades that women are sex objects only
We’re not entitled to an opinion
I have to bleed every fucking month, in pain, it’s fucking painful
Growing a baby inside you is painful
Birthing a baby is excruciating
Breastfeeding is challenging, painful for the first couple weeks, and not easy. The percentage of women who breastfeed at all is low – and now the establishment are saying that breastfeeding is unnatural and causes mistrust within the government
GET IN THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA
I’m sorry you hate your life and blame us for your existence but this abuse has to stop!!!!
Our society can heal if we turn off the television!!!!!
Stop listening to the bullshite!!!
Stop putting money on the tray at church!!!
Get to know your local community!
Grow and share food!!!!
We can thrive!!!!
I’m sorry you’ll be bored doing stuff we were born to do, get over it!!!!!
I’m sorry you’re not as handsome or charming to find love as others. It’s bullshite! Learn to be a human instead of a monster!!!!
They’re just jealous of things they can’t have so wanna keep others from having it!
Narcissism is a plague!!!!
I can’t stand the now we live in! I can’t stand the future!!
I’m trying not to die by my own hand in this hell!
You’re all insane!!!
You don’t live in reality
I don’t care about the double slit experiment! It’s conditioning for cloning – for human hybrid AI
You’re not a computer!
It will damage your real CPU!
Please wake up now!!!!! My soul is screaming from the ether!!!!!! I produce eggs!!!! I’m alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My God does not come from the Middle East!!!!!
I’m sick of hearing about China this and China that!!!!
Let us all live in peace!!
Black, brown, and white bear’s exists! Deal with it!!! We’re all special!!!! Your powers are being suppressed!!!
I don’t even know how to be a hunter/gatherer! I’d probably eat the wrong herb!
None of us are living up to our potential
Living through a monitor!!!!!
They’re making us sick intentionally!
Psychopaths
One bad apple spoils the bunch
It’s lazy parenting if you let your child watch toxic TV and play video games constantly
I wouldn’t even want to teach my child what they are teaching them in school
They were teaching my child how to twerk on stage when she was 8
I pulled her from the lesson and the show, I was appalled
It’s just gonna keep going on, we aren’t punishing or removing the bad seeds, we’re birthing them
The criminals are on top
And quite frankly I’m tired of fighting, I’m ready to go live in the woods, I don’t need a government or a piece of paper to tell me that I’m allowed to grow food or to build shelter, or to use solar
I’m sick of the narcissism and dictatorship
I’m still detoxing and putting up the good fight
I’m on a new mission to learn how to control my crying and angry spells
Like, I need to go into automatic shut down mode if/when triggered
I am organic and real
I am capable of creating life
Many women have been programmed to remove their organs, their breasts, their ovaries, or popping birth control or having their tubes tied – which all causes premature aging – as well as all the “anti aging” products they buy – it ages you
The FDA has been compromised, the CDC, the WhiteHouse, we have more than a mole
I knew English before I was born, I understood language and energy and mood
I could hear my mom, my sister, my father scheming
I was depressed before I was born
I HATED BEING IN MY MOTHERS WOMB
She was a terrible mother and my father a monster
They’re both monsters, I came from monsters
Civilized monsters under the guise of Christianity
Image is so important to these monsters
But they don’t have a soul inside, they’re possessed by the Devil and they choose to be who they are
Half the amenities where I live do not work but the rent continues to go up and they continue to list these amenities as a incentive to rent/live here
“They won’t do anything about it”, the establishment’s motto
By law, we should be able to withhold our rent until they fix these things
I know I’m not the only one experiencing this where I live
It’s listed, the rent goes up, nothing gets fixed. The front gate, the exercise equipment, the carwash, the recycling, still listed, rent goes up, not working (and I’ve been here 5 years now and it’s still not fixed)
The establishment are greedy and lazy
I don’t want to fund their bullshite anymore
We need to boycott all the major big names and corporations
Celebrities and influencers are not worth worshiping
I’m going to continue fixing my credit so that I can play the game and buy a house if I don’t die before then (I’m begging and praying to God daily for protection vibes)
Man has made life so very depressing and agonizing that an invisible entity is better than he
DO BETTER
I’m gonna be spending most of my time riding, instead of utilizing this crappy gym. The piece of equipment I wanted to use for booty gains, is still non-working after 5 years. I’m not ready to leg, arm, and bench press.
I want a cute, feminine figure. I don’t want big bulky looking man’s body like Britney Spears. She’s training with her dude and doing what he does and everything she wears is a selling point for the gays!! The gays!!!! What about me!!!! See me!!! It’s okay to be gay!!!! We love women!!!! *snickers evilly and stuffs tampons up ass for pleasure*
Religion and LGBT is a cult! Politics and Hollywood too! I said it, fight me!!!
P.S. China censors their people from the US. They’d be appalled if they knew… but maybe they do.
My American Chinese doctor was very interested in my detox, he wrote down specifically the Black Walnut Wormwood. The only thing he wrote down during the session. THE ONLY THING
He’s also sending a team out to me since I can’t get to them
He did not tell me to stop or reduce my detox
That’s an ancient remedy right there
I gotta stock up before the establishment poison it or change the formula
You’re right, I’m terrible with secrets and I can’t blame PayPal this time (tho we should sue)
Byeeeeee
P.S.S. I wholeheartedly believe I jumped into this timeline during that crazy storm, it struck my vehicle and one of the hands of lightning touched my elbow
I FELT THE BURN FOR DAYS – there was no physical burn
I FELT IT
GOD TOUCHED ME
HE WAS LIKE HEYYYYYY
I spent days researching electrical discharges
It’s pure energy
IT WAS SO LOUD!!!! AND BRIGHT!!!
They’re gonna have y’all believing you can go through portals at CERN. In given time, they’ll sacrifice you to the singularity and upload you into the METAVERSE.
I’m beyond sick at society and “entertainment”. They’re turning the Matrix into reality in the name of science!
When a demon tries to have a conversation with an angel about the future or the second coming – race division is already here – there are only 2 races in this timeline – human or demon.
Welp, and the fallen (the Devil & his minions)
And God’s warriors
Cuz not all are bad
Jesus would share a meal with me and a fucking bed 👀
God don’t even need an invitation 👀
They can come on in 👀
I hope you’re aware that the book was written by the devils in charge and it’s very satanic and you should stop worshiping it and giving it your money
Anyhoo it’s 2:23 AM
I’m writing poetry when folks are sleeping or committing sins
I’m still having chest pains but making other health improvements
My doctor is sending health teams to me since I can’t get to them
Not making up my fucking disabilities
People are dropping dead with Myocarditis
I gots it
God has been saving my life
It’s been a long recovery
I was in tremendous pain and in very dark times
The devil was the only visitor
I cried so much
People were calling me a liar when I was telling them I got injured by the vaccine
The Government began censoring me from speaking out
I started getting penalized and threats about having my social media accounts removed
I’m ready to sell my phone and TV
But God says I’m a messenger
And I still swear John Jones has played a hand in this
And healing my heart
Miracles do happen cuz something big saved my life
People are dropping dead like flies
I’m sleeping in the lion’s den
I don’t live in fear but I got to get my anger issues under control before I have a heart attack
I swear, There’s a ghost in my machine! Even chaos has routine I hope he knows how much he means Perhaps the haunting there is me These halls are called a labyrinthine I think we’re both lost equally
I don’t cast stones I throw grenades I check for backbones But not here to save
I’m not Jesus Ask not of forgiveness Got light of Venus But I’m not Jesus
Look at him all mighty Judging from his throne Only wants the children He can do no wrong
He never shows me love, just judgment With him, I’ll never reach the summit
I don’t want to talk to him about the Holy Spirit He ain’t anywhere near it
I still talk to him Through ink and pen Through thick and thin There and hell herein
How do you go from creator to singularity So sparingly?
My brain is an artifact Don’t have a heart attack
I follow The voices in your head Every murky shadow Leaking trails of thick red I’ve met the dead Down in the Bayou Your sins are widespread Walking on gravestone I hear the cries where the wind blows I hear your echoes on the radio
His smile is an ice-shelf breaking free
Put up a plaque for my humiliation What’s the will of a freemason?
We need to watch our agreements Human not demon Give God a good reason
Gonna start using the gym where I live. In an attempt to work on my booty gains. But I’m still dying and cannot go hard.
People are dropping dead by what I have.
10,000 steps and gone.
I think it might be a better solution than bike riding since I almost got murdered twice in a week but I will not be giving up my riding because I need to listen to the birds and get the fresh air where I feel free.
Not secure. But it helps me remember what I’m fighting for. Why I’m fighting for humanity, including my own.
And I’m currently in my own personal hell.
My spirit has been broken and I am only a fragment of what I could be.
His poetry, that is absolutely 1000% not about me (?), gives me glimpses of who I am.
Or want to be.
There really is no difference. I live in his mind. He’s my sanctuary.
I hope it’s his arms I get to crawl into and die, even if a word is never said.
I want him to be my final avenue and I want him to lay me to rest.
No other.
He must hide my body from the establishment. Give me back to earth. 👀
Not prematurely. I’m still putting up the good fight to live but that’s not where my thoughts are.
I’m still red flagged at the VA for being suicidal. The very very bad kind.
One slip up and I’m off to the funny farm via the pigs against my will.
And I’m a Soldier, not a rich boy, we eat mystery meat.
And I’ve always identified as Native American and I want to find my tribe and get out there and hunt and slay a buffalo, so get off my dick
His path leads me to the Garden of the Gods Like lightning rods
His heart is hard A place to guard
I radiate the potential for havoc Learning to control the devil’s habit
Pain is covered with calcite, tissue, and muscle I chose to be invisible until one day I clearly was
How do you have so much resolve to be so hateful
I am dust and cloud Unploughed Shrouded in form Ready to be born
So what! You got caught looking! You crawled into a planted trap! It’s humiliating! The world doesn’t give a crap!
Society is breeding evil The devil in control But I’m so tired of cutting people That do not have a soul
Dying is a ceremony
Beware false prophet Poison product
He’s nihilism Keeps soul in prison Never first position
I’m color-coded Disorganized and bloated Sorely hated, duly noted Born foreboded
I’m a threat everywhere My beauty, my scorn I give up on everything But then I’m back again reborn
Watch your step One regret can lead to death
JOHN JONES WAS MURDERED
The breakdown is the breakthrough
I sometimes see him in the mirror Confused on what it means Wish vision would appear clearer Then I’d understand the hope he brings
I wish a man would make me feel like a woman But instead, they beat and hold me to the floor; Tell me, I’m not worth fighting for
Society is an echo chamber
We live in a closed containment The earth is what we name it
My own hurts are a form of hell Complete discipline to be well
Father, please do not let me deny him three times
He appears like a soul mirror A waterbed with daffodil He is Lake Superior The calmness and the still
I go in circles when I get lost It’s disconcerting A personal holocaust
The slow delay in becoming
I have a hard time connecting to the devil’s circle An open world And he’s a lure Traversing the obscure He’s at my door Constantly banging Begging for more
I’m flame and fire The netherworld The scent of death I still can’t feel things yet
I’ll give you the grand tour But there is no cure And do I not know you well? You fought for insecure Now you’re not so sure You’re all impure
I remember needle and thread I wrote the book on dread Your main desire Well look ahead Goddess or prior I think you should retire Those images in your head
Dropping content on my TikTok again! Maybe not what you want but tough-tiddy!
It feels good to be climbing out of the bed after one year down – to start fitness walking and biking again.
And I’ve been getting in over 2 mile walks – which is standard Army PT.
Google maps show a 1 mile walk at 45 minutes and I’m coming in at nearly 2.5 miles in about an hour. In the Florida heat. And sometimes stopping in what shade you find. 🤪
I need a mileage tracker for the bike, and a better way to film than shoving the handsfree down my bosom. 😎
But that keeps both hands on the wheel. 👍
It’s extremely dangerous riding out here. I’ve been nearly wiped out twice in just a week. I’m not exaggerating.
I know you wanna see the city stuff, that’s a bit further out, and even more dangerous.
I’m just now crawling outta my bed.
My doctor still has me on light duty-walking only.
I’m still detoxing 3 times a day, now with the maximum dose allowed. I’m using Black Walnut Wormwood & Apple Cider Vinegar. I’m on a strict diet routine change. I cold cut quit (nearly) the sugar and junk food.
I’m exhausted and climbing Mount Everest every day. I cannot heel.
Appreciate all the good support on my blog and channels! Thank you kindly!
His poetry is alcoves and passages Backroads and damages Wet clay Lost messages Disdain Bad management A red flag Labeled “accident” Atomic bomb He’s inadequate And the reason For our rising rent
I don’t know why buying nuts has to be so complicated but it’s really hard to find the ones that aren’t roasted or coated in something that isn’t poisonous but I do have a pound of cashews to get me through the month
Nutty for nuts (please plant me a private nut farm)
I’m a Flexitarian
I’m eating meat cuz I’m dying and need the boost
I don’t need an excuse 👀
Deep down in my bone I’m Native American and we eat meat
My grandmother once told me stories how she would wring the chickens necks with her bare hands for supper
Now I can pay a small delivery fee to get someone to bring me some boneless skinless chicken because I’m spoiled
If you can place an order properly
You know you love learning from my mistakes and watching me suffer
There are certain animals I will never eat nor have ever touched
Yes I can be picky
There are certain fruits and vegetables I won’t touch either
Deal with it
👁🫦👁
I love you (but need certain foods)
(I produce eggs)
Granted, I do need/want/demand a vegetarian diet more than a meat
I don’t want to eat meat three times a day or every day
People all up in my plate when they don’t even have healthy sexual habits
Most of the meat I’ve had lately has been canned tuna or chicken
I do hate how the animals are being treated
I hate so much about the world
And I am a completely inexperienced hunter/gatherer
I’ve barely been fishing and what few times I did go and what fish caught I released
A tiny learning curve using the Walmart Marketplace to shop for organic foods, but overall it was worth the delivery charge. I tipped my driver in cash. But went in and dropped him another $2 via the app. It’s a holiday, he did a good job. He got a 5* rating. And maybe an extra boost with the tip. It wasn’t a large extra – but hopefully the extra thumbs up was a mood boost. I’m trying out here tossing pennies around and shit (he got a fiver in cash).
I stretched it out. Even got a bag of limes for my water detox. Slurp.
The fridge is full
The chicken was the main meat but I put all my eggs in a 3 pound pack and there were no substitute’s available. Shit out of luck. I cried lmao. So of all the things I ordered, the chicken was the only thing I couldn’t get.
Next time 2 or 3 small packs of different ones and thus substitutes might be available
And maybe not get the largest pack during a holiday without a backup if said item doesn’t arrive
It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, it’s just like when you study really hard for a test and you still don’t make a 100
I can’t remember my teachers names but I can remember the grade
“What is wrong with me”
I went back and looked over the list of all the food that was arriving and was sound
I didn’t have to get out and drive
I didn’t have to worry about getting shot in the Walmart parking lot for taking someone’s spot accidentally or whatever
They took mine
I didn’t have to worry about anybody coughing on me or having to wear a mask
I didn’t have to waste time at a red light or worry about anyone running me over at one
I got same day delivery but chose a less busy, cheaper time slot
I like shopping online
Everything was packed with extra care
I did not send him down a bunch of aisles. Most of everything I needed was in the produce section, as well as store brands.
This was “delivery” not shipping. I wanted mainly fresh produce and dairy. Not canned goods nor junk food. There were no heavy ticket items or bulk items. But necessities and things folks would likely need for a holiday in general (to cook).
I had a tight budget going in and a checklist.
There were 4 items that required substitutions that I had an hour to approve. I approved right away (and sobbed momentarily behind closed doors about the “no substitutions for the chicken, we’re sorry”). So 4 subs & 1 unavailable.
But, his substitutions were amazing. My eggs were one of the subs, he did a great job. Everything subbed was the same price too. Even got the brown eggs.
I was impressed I was able to get as much essentials as I could on $50 (I spent a tad more but also got ACV). For detoxing & cleaning veggies.
Holy god 4 bags of dry beans, a bag of potatoes
18 pack of brown eggs
I’m thinking deviled eggs (a few), egg sandwiches, making cornbread/cake/brownies, tuna egg salad, stuffs
And no, there isn’t any onion onion but I did get green onion and some garlic heads
It’ll be on my burgers and eggs
Douse it like fire
I do love onion (and can put some in the burgers I wanna make or the beef steak with gravy)
I got some Turkey dogs! And fresh buns for everything
The pizza was under five bucks ($3.48 to be exact). I’ve been dying for a pizza!!! That’s a good deal!
You can still buy a fresh loaf of wheat bread for under a dollar, it’s a fucking miracle
Egg sandwich with cheese and onion nom
Buttered bread yeee
Excuse me I got to go
You can blame it on the food
It’s a holiday and I’m sharing with you what I’ll be eating (kinda) 🤪
I do have organic carrots and garlic and potatoes now tho (with broth and spices and green onion, soup is on the horizon)
I love to make homemade soups, casseroles and thingamabob’s
Lord almighty someone sent me a donation and I just spent it all on food! 🤩
I’m talking fresh organic meats and produce! Scheduled to be delivered today! And I don’t even have to worry about anybody stealing it because I have to sign for it! Now the delivery charge was more than what I was making when I was working as a Lyft and Uber driver but…
My wheels are down – but apparently the Walmart marketplace now delivers! And – because I received such a nice donation, was able to purchase my food for the month!
I’m not ashamed to say that I have been living month to month off of food donations from the church pantry and the Salvation Army, which I can no longer get to because my wheels are currently down, so this donation just allowed me to be able to buy some food and have it delivered!!
I bought the part I needed for my ride! I’m only 19 no’s away from finding someone to help me fix it finding the courage to fix it myself.
The good news is, I did fix my bike!
But, we almost got killed riding yesterday. A car nearly wiped us out. Despite me waiting for the traffic signal to signal and flash WALKING.
Surprisingly, she turned around and came back
“Are you alright”
“Yes but that was scary. Thank you for coming back and checking on us”
“That was close” she said
She was a young driver and probably will be much more careful coming through traffic signals from now on because she nearly took out a girl and a dog on a bike
I told my dog that she was not a demon because she came back to check on us and I know that was hard for her to do
I guess we had a guardian angel looking after us because she was flying
It didn’t matter that I had the right away and I even waited a second to make sure there wasn’t any traffic but
Food is incoming
Chicken. Turkey. Beef. Milk. Bread. Eggs. Cheese. All the things! 🤩
The things I never get from food donations (rare).
I don’t know what you wanted me to spend my money on but food is absolutely a priority and a necessity in my life and not junk food.
My dog is also happy and behaving extremely well for bike rides and soon-to-be good homecooked eating
I’ve been deep cleaning my apartment because my name is on the lease and I’m not going anywhere because God wants me in the Lions den
I discovered that there are a lot of churches in the nearby vicinity that maybe I could start riding my bike to
After all, this broken heart of mine has already walked 5 miles in the last couple weeks
We live in hell and I don’t trust any of these assholes because they would jump you
Two people just got arrested out here where I live and one of the guys was out here yelling that the other guy was a pedophile
I think it was two children though that got arrested because they were trying to defend themselves you know because they were being threatened to have their fucking lives demolished by the psychotic adults
“I got it on film” he yelled
And the weekend is just getting started so who knows who else might get arrested
I’ve opened up all my windows for maximum effect
“Do not fear”
M’kay but like… Why did you make every aspect of life threatening?
PoeEternal 