Super nice guy
And I may not live in a high rise
But he’ll end your life
Get back to work
Work through the night
How to sum America up
The plot thickens
I thought Bob was in-the-closet gay
But now it’s worse
I think he was bi – f*cking both the brother and the sister – but the brother was also f*cking the sister, which is legal in his country and they don’t adopt American ideology or policy or change their spots obtaining a green card
And the doctor hired the hit because he wasn’t losing his expensive, artificial, soulless Barbie because his yellow fever propaganda returned home “for a few seconds” (but the demon doll fell asleep so how could she know how long he stayed or when he left)
Do you think Netflix would buy my story?
Yes? Maybe? No? (Pick one)
People dropping rhyme in comments and I’m feeling jelly
I found sungrown and happiness *sigh* (trigger warning)
Trigger warning: addiction
I’m not renewing my card stash but I might cuz I found sungrown in the ground with the sun and trademarked! They tell you where the strain comes from! Florida or Amsterdam etc – there is waayyy less packaging and they treat their shop like a medicinal shop instead of recreational. Did I mention they grow stuff in the ground with the sun?
Makes a difference and it works! I still want to quit and my card expires on 4/19, right as all the good deals are coming in.
I don’t have to worry about fentanyl laced products and this is legal and no I won’t share or buy you any (get yer own card$)
I still want to quit but this is the stuff that works
Also not seen – vape pens & 2 free pre-rolls I scored
Today I turned on the radio and got lost in 90s alternative and metal doom
I was like THIS IS THE SHIT
I AIN’T DYING LIKE BOB
I haven’t used up my allotment yet and still have 2 days of potential relapse shopping to do
There went the rent money honey
(I scored it ridiculously cheap and am having a panic that I won’t be able to top up without my card)
(I’ll be racing to the doctor, help, hurry, my card expired)
(So I was trying to avoid that scenario by spending my savings)
I hate me but a little less today because the weed is working
I don’t think I’ve ever had this much weed in one sitting before but alas it’s the apocalypse and I’m trying to quit an addiction
I’m feeling less homicidal off the Curaleaf Russian cloned “the state won’t let us grow it in the ground” junk
Only 2 in that stack isn’t “sungrown” and the fact that they had to “TM” their products
Stay away from Curaleaf
I found “sungrown” at GrowHealthy but I don’t know who owns it
But I like that they have LOCAL herbs – grown right here in the “sunshine state”
I picked up another “mystery plant” today – making this number 4
He’s in the mini tin in the windowsill and already had some delicious spring water
I have 4 pots to put them in once they mature but I have no idea how to move them – and still – with directions – couldn’t make the “paper pot”
Also scored more seeds for my land – once owned. These are non GMO, USA seeds. Added some spicy peppers to my collection!
Him: what sort of things do you need?
Me: a goT damn garden
Sungrown
*sigh*
The other store was selling “head space” at a luxury price and all hydroponic crap (which made me want to gut Bob and I was like “but whyyyyyy”)
Today I enjoyed music again (with the help of “sungrown” TM)
I’m hoping I turn my apartment into a food jungle but why am I afraid of plants and all of this?
Like putting a seed into dirt, sun, spring water and watching it turn into food that will nourish me
Like woah
That’s more than my mother did
Anyhoo
Bath time and cannoli’s
I needed something to regret wasting my money on other than weed
“He came quickly”
“He came very quickly and then left”
🙂
Sounds accurate
I know I’m not well – it’s just – He left very quickly is all cuz she fell asleep so how could she know anything?
🙂
Are they Iranian? Muslim? Persian?
Now don’t be mad (you will)
But I dug foxholes in Iraq – I saw the salt lines where it had been under water – I stated “this is where Lu fell”
I was in my 20s
(I don’t condone violence but don’t they do stonings still over there)
But my kind is called savages?
Well, I’m starting to believe a Native sold us out to a white man – still MY HOME LAND
And the immigrants are doing honor killings under our policies
“Surprising details”
(They probably won’t tell and I sound racist)
(They’re demons)
(Hush now)
God loves you
Sleep well 🙂
Heart symbol
The comments: https://nypost.com/2023/04/14/nima-momeni-allegedly-killed-cash-app-founder-bob-lee-over-fight-about-sister-court-docs/
How to love a murderer
RIP Bob
Maybe 20 years to kill a billionaire
How great of a father are you now, Bob?
DEAD
RIP Bob – heart symbol
The sister returned a heart symbol sign in the courtroom – after you murdered someone she loved?
“Love you pricks” (last text)
WOW
Demon or delusional?
But a billionaire with someone who is a fake plastic Barbie – and not white – of course – is more in tune with reality
And married – (separated doesn’t count)
Where are all the “great husband” “great boyfriend” “great lover” quotes
AI and plastic surgery is not the way
It’s so corrupt – they’re turning on one another
Just like on the streets
Adultery is a sin
“I don’t love you, I love her” would be a better surprising detail
He’s just another man with his pants down – and trying to steal another man’s wife (triangulation)
These monsters go from one relationship to another without so much as breathing
Your whole life was in that phone huh
She was ready to leave her husband
For you
Awe
Little sinners
“Don’t believe in God”
“We are God”
“We make our own rules and make the sheeple follow”
Don’t be like Bob
I’m certain there was a FaceBook meme circulating
Or maybe it was Bill
That meme was made for him
I’m so disgusted by society
And everyone is so on edge and unhinged
Drove you to a dark secluded area and you still didn’t read the red flags?
I mean, you’re not even cold in your grave yet, and she’s giving your murderer a heart symbol
Awe boo
They’re famous now
He planned your murder (according to police evidence) and I hear he may only get 20 years
Probably get off on “good behavior”
How much to kill a billionaire?
Don’t give the cops your twenty and see if the killer gets 20
*popcorn*
The streets of Florida aren’t any less dangerous than the streets of California cuz you sold America out bro – you and your boomer daddy
Stabbed in the heart – God told you to chill but noooooooooo had to keep getting up
RIP Bob – heart symbol
The Sister huh
Oh shit
Wait and he owned a unit there too
*popcorn*
So the killer’s plastic sister is married to a plastic surgeon
AND
Bob saw her
Still, you give up your own life to defend your sister from doing something she wanted to do?
Was he fucking you both?
Oh is this the “surprising details”
Well I’m all in…
Go on…
I don’t hear “great husband” in any of the articles tho
It is better than most movies coming out these days
Let’s expose the tech giant
My imagination is going wild out here
But there’s no one to call when you’re dying? Like he had a phone.
Folks say he could still be around if the car did something
He could have stayed down the first time
I would have found a tree or bashed some windows in
The peace or the chaos
He thought he owned the world at 43
Couldn’t be touched
Was he fucking the brother and the sister tho?
Maybe that would be the better surprising details – if he was bi and all 🙂
I’m allowed to write my poetry and grieve via anger – he ruined Cash App and Android and his marriage and maybe someone else’s?
I’m not going to jail because my sibling was cheating tho
What am I missing? Who got the clue or the unlocked article?
They ain’t getting my .25 – I don’t care how juicy the details get
I ain’t dealing with the devil
It is cheaper than a movie ticket tho but probably still full of ads
I wanna remove them from my blog soon – it’s just I’m protesting WordPress and that prick
Is he next!?! (I don’t condone violence nor want anyone to die)
(But sometimes I laugh when people do)
(I have not laughed at Bob)
(Bob should have kicked his teeth out – or did something with his phone)
(I’m bothered by his deep grip and apparently have an ocd about how he died)
And why did the arrest take so long?
“Came down on you hard”
“Handled it with class”
Last texts
*popcorn*
Bob’s dead (poetry)
He won’t give his twenty
Claims he is bleeding
Disconnected –
Call is ending
Streets are empty
Can anyone hear Bob screaming?
Angel investor
Married but not together
Machine his predecessor
A wife he couldn’t pleasure
All hail AI / Bob has died
Caught stumbling all alone
Gripping his phone
Dripping blood
Like a trail of bones
Stabbed and shunned
Car with hazards on
A billionaire with no gun
City center is fun!
Close enough to be stabbed in the chest twice – with a kitchen knife
Bob was perfect at everything but being a husband eh (gaslighting)
I’m not stupid, Bob. How dare you. “I sleep with men but I’m not gay”. LOL (God)
M’kay whatever you say
(This is how I mourn. It’s called the 7 stages of grief. I’m on ANGER)
Seeking help but wouldn’t give the one call your location – fucking lost – on a street you mostly lived – c’mon!!!!
You should have stayed down! The adrenaline spikes got yah!!!!
“Angel investor” NO BRO – DEMON who doesn’t even Tweet or acknowledge women – it’s sharing “bro this”, “bro that” and comments to other boys about “why aren’t you here already” and current posts from said person ain’t shed a tear of your passing
Delusional bro
AI is not the way
White pawns are under attack
White lives don’t matter
Bob, you should have stayed down
Your lovers fake plastic sister living in a 2 million highrise – in the same building you own
I got the popcorn out
You remember the Looking Glass?
God already won
The Devil taking his fine time drawing his last move – getting as many souls as he can – drowning demon
Image is everything to these demons – they wrote the playbook for crying out loud – in the closet gay!!!! He’s ruined the world! His daddy too!
Maybe I’m sorry but maybe I’m not!
Sidenote: they don’t get it – but I inherently get it. I wouldn’t normally either. However, this instance, it’s like a direct arrow to my broken soul. Boom this way to the singularity. No no this way to heaven. It’s like you and I play pull rope (what the hell is that rope game actually called)
I can’t recall JJ’s nn either – and he’s the one who sent it to me through the ether. I was all offended and like “no bro”. He loved it.
I’m trying to quit this Russian weed – my brain needs time to sort the pathways
I mean, if I had a phone, and I needed HELP, I’d like CALL the authorities and like “I’m at a glass building, I’m dying”
He knew them streets like the back of an Android
YOU OUTTA THE CLOSET NOW BRO
Gave it a decade huh then ran back home to live with daddy
GAG
“My best friend”
I wanted to punch my mom when she said that about her first born – as I was the family slave ghosted (triangulation)
Bob (again)
Bob took away our free speech but when he cried wolf no one was around…
God gave me eyes to see and a mouth and tongue. The world may gaslight but I know what’s been done.
Stop lying about these big techs
If he was such a great father, why was he near divorced, and out late at night with another man
And living at home with daddy
And Cash App turned to shit
Android I had to also ditch – after it became corrupt
It’s all a fake, artificial world
I HATE IT
This is not the NATURAL way of things
Bob was such a great guy huh, how long did his fake marriage last?
How long will you spread the lies?
Big Tech sucks
Is Elon next?
Like why Bob (insensitive content below)
Like why were you walking around there at 2:30 at night?
Sources claim you moved via the crime (you helped create) – but yet returned for work – yet was trolling the streets – assumingely – without a weapon – and was stabbed twice with a kitchen knife – and all you can think to do is cling to your Android – you helped create – and chase after cars – instead of sitting down – stopping the bleeding – at least not putting MORE strain on your heart – but no – you just had to keep getting up and walking around
Like bro
You didn’t call your fam?
If John Jones could squirm in his grave, he would.
Clutching that AI device like it was God
Called the cops – didn’t say where you were or keep the on?
Just hmmm where is everybody at bleeding out?
Let me guess, it went like this
“Hi, I’m Bob, the Cash App founder, I’ve been stabbed. I’m bleeding.” *lifts shirt*
And so the cars drive off
It’s a typical after midnight don’t get involved in scenario – you must have missed the memo?
It’s literally the worse-case-scenario and you walked right in – despite knowing how dangerous California is – which is why you moved to Florida – so you could finish turning it to shit
I know you are “in the closet gay” – I have seen these types of relationships in the military – and billionaires don’t fuck fat wives (maybe out of obligation)
Looking at family photos – zero chemistry – but maybe I’m a kunt
I didn’t stab you with a kitchen knife – twice mind you – at 2:30 am
You didn’t even fight back dressed in fashionable apocalyptic wear?
You had the best and most expensive device – cops still took a slow 6 minutes arriving – despite TWO cops in the area
Bro – I’m researching who I’ve been buying my state weed from – turns out it’s the Russians – surprise!
Anything to quit this nightmare
I knew Cash App and PayPal was going down – like bro – I deleted my accounts – not long ago – and now you’re dead
I saw the red flags
America is under siege and you were bleeding out and going into shock – you might still be here – if you had sat down –
This goes without saying but women no longer can walk in broad daylight without being in danger
“It’s a man’s world” and look what you turned it into
I would have drove away too
My first thought, “safety first” and those circumstances do not scream safe – maybe you would have had more of a chance of getting said help – if you were a nobody
If it was a hit job – which would be an instant thought of “cash” “stabbed” – who would want to get involved and become a victim too? It’s the one thing our Boomer parents warned us about. “Don’t go wandering the streets after sundown”. It was our one curfew. “Be home before dark” and even then we crossed the lines. “Boy you were cutting it close” / “there’s still some pink in the sky”
The Mayor or whoever of Cali is edging us on, “you’ll be surprised” she says “at the details”
Somewhere between Bob dying, another someone got beat with a bat, and the FED launched their version of a Cash App
And Big Cannabis is Big Russia who is changing and gutting our policies
I’m ready to get rid of my phone all together
I mean, Bob helped create Android and Apple share videos on how your phone can save your life – but maybe people need classes on how and when to use it – in an emergency – because Bob was a poster board of all the things Not-To-Do
Bob separated from his wife to move in with his father – how gay (no judgement)
A billionaire living at home with daddy
Not impressed
I watched God push you down
You just kept going
Even dying, wouldn’t drop your phone
“In AI we trust”
God gave me eyes to see but not a mouth of silk
“I got a mouth of filth”
I’d really like some milk
So another Gen X white male is gone
We’re not allowed to have anything
Yeah you got that nice big house in misery (potentially) but you also got gutted in taxes and I would’ve hung myself with 10 foot rope (which means it was probably a failed suicide where I broke some bones instead)
Wait. What.
(I’m talking to a GenX who may or may not be a genx and is mostly a ghost in my head)
Your dad claims you were his best friend, but he didn’t teach you not to walk the streets at night!?! Unarmed!?!
You could afford to hire a bodyguard?
Have a gun?
Unless the killer wasn’t some random bum or hitman – but instead someone close – who could stab you in the left side of your chest – with a kitchen knife
Was it the same one from dinner?
I’ve been reading how lots of murders happen when people are dining or in the shower – by “loved ones”
Also – in bed – sleeping
Vindictive
Remorseless
No soul
Which makes therapy and treatment useless – for those who can’t change – and should be shot like a bear
And I’m tired of bear getting shot over you
Bear angry
Bear justified
I don’t believe in cultural diversification
I guess Bob didn’t get the memo
Here’s the thing, it will be so easy to take out the civilians we swore to protect – in the end – weaklings – but the enemy is using them against us
That couple got gutted in the street last year
And now poor Bob, with a kitchen knife, in Cali
Ironic he thought Florida was any safer
But then moved out of Cali for it being unsafe – but goes back for a business trip – to wander around the streets after dark –
Elon probably does have security when/if he leaves his Pedo farm
Elon pointed out something in his tweet tho – per chance hinting it was a criminal – someone with a prior arrest sheet – who offed Bob
So you had that phone the whole time and the cops were the only one you called? While dying? Clinging to your phone?
And John didn’t get a second phone call on Thanksgiving
Which was his dying wish
I wouldn’t take my dog out at 2:30 am on the 4th cuz I said “some shit is going down”, “I can feel it in the air”
I guess what I meant was the ether…
“He was my best friend”
My mom said the same thing about my sister, who recently died age 45
Strange, these Boomers are losing their first borns – almost biblical
(Was Bob a first born?)
Diversification is very very bad
Especially when it means other races are being wiped out
Hi. I’m part of the 244.
Anger is a legit mood when someone dies.
It’s part of the 7 stages of grief – interchangeably
I can stay angry for the rest of my life
“Take me from all this death”
She was chasing the Singularity
“I love you too much, to condemn you”
Wiki has already been updated and you’re not cold in your grave
Morgue
There’s a body in the morgue
A cold mentor
Like a mirror I can’t ignore
I don’t know what I’m living for
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
Free speech and peace and quiet is a God given human right!!!!! These monsters have stolen basic decency! But I’m not allowed to discuss immigration or sex toys sold openly everywhere in America!!!! I’m censored!!!!! To discuss matters in group therapy making me suicidal!!!! Oh god, fuck you! Fuck “therapy”!
You should be fighting for free speech! Stop being a pushover! As a consumer, we should have some say how businesses are run! Too much waste! Stop destroying the rain forest and ocean!
I live in fight or flight mode, so my poetry never has time to sit on the shelf.
Lately, I’m trying to “play dead” and be in fawn mode. This is a legit strategy taught by the Army and used in the wild to bore the predators who want a “fresh meal” and “not dead meat”.
Just don’t let the elite cover you in “natural flavor”.
He’s a hypocrite if he eats that shit.
Furthermore, they put it in the cheap food and the organic food – it was made in a lab! It ain’t natural! Stop gaslighting!!!!!
Y’all dropping hundred dollar bills for foam shoes – that cause cancer.
I can’t even find small cotton panties and now I need XS potentially.
The sizing charts have changed and I’m elite being 110 pounds in America with roughly two out of three adults being overweight.
Yet, yesterday hanging out with squirrels and feeding them, the big kids were rolling their eyes at me – just like the overweight BLM female entering the mall –
We’ve been asking “do cellphone’s cause cancer” and they said everything but what we wanted to hear. Now when shopping for phones, they come with a cancer warning.
FYI
“Reproductive harm”
They’re nihilist’s destroying the world with synthetics and AI!
Black and Latino and Asian lives matter! But Native American and white lives don’t! Check the CENSUS!
And they identify as us!!! Laughs! Wait what!?!
The Great Race war is real – and Asia moving in on the news
The Great Replacement theory!
White man isn’t the only one corruptible or evil! He’s the pawn used in the whole game! By the Asians and yellow fever propaganda!
Lost Cause
I’ve been looking for you in places I should not
Returning in case I forgot
Searching clues in decay
It’s a long shot
Still clouds are thought
Love sweet like apricot
A burning sunray
I’m the mascot
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
Free speech below (and in traffic)
Hi, my name is Delia and I’m homicidal/suicidal.
Maybe I’m reaching my breaking point.
For instance, yesterday while waiting at a very long stop light on beach street, this immigrant was walking around half-dressed with a baby stroller, he crossed the crosswalk and I yelled “pedophile” (because I’m calling every man I see this now apparently – but especially him) and he looked back, so I yelled louder.
The light still wouldn’t change.
I noticed the car beside me also had their window down/cracked
I was like, “He shouldn’t be alone with a baby” and she laughed and cried, “I know”
I stated, “I don’t normally do that but no man should be alone with a baby” in which she responds again with “I know” and mentions how he was dressed
(It’s summer but every man acts as if they own the world, women are fed up yeeeee)
We got to continue our back-and-forth manhating for at least another 30 seconds or more until the light finally turned and I reluctantly said I had to go
There was a cop ahead at the oncoming light but I still had thoughts of “gasing” my vehicle or honking him rudely as he passed
I behaved but then the body screamed PEDOPHILE and he acknowledged and the car next to me concurred (more than once)
I gotta get out of this city, this town, these people, these policies
I continue to assess my “mental health”, and stay in the now, the cars read ROUGE
I wholeheartedly agree, it’s time
5 monster men just kidnapped an older lady, FBI put out a reward, she’s dead
The news have not reported this, it’s just something I feel
The same way I knew my sister was dead before she died
And all it took was a text from my half-sister, “she’s in the hospital with COVID” and I replied “she’s gonna die”
I didn’t go say goodbye
She died
I had a big ole blood clot and blown left lung – from the deathcare system, and was heading no where near a hospital and never will again
I would get arrested, keep me the fuck away from that god damn Satan house
BE GONE
And stop casting spells on me, they only empower me more
The mirrors are nearly gone, I potentially found a owner for the pair I got
MARK BURGESS is swine and the curse will unfold in time
The Last One of Us is not just a game
I’ve not played it – but according to research, “the elites were plagued with parasites” and there’s a super fungas strain plaguing California (where MB hangs)
FYI
The CDC are blaming “the wind”
Yeah sure and he’s an immigrant from the UK
Well, I’ve no idea his green card status or his whereabouts or whatifs
I dream of justice, real justice
Swift and remorseless
It’s not a sin
Eye for eye
My heart is feeling good enough to kickbox a face or two
Encouraging seeing big boy swim in hurricane swells — I’m learning to tame my own demons – albeit not well
Because I wound up at the park – letting every man know he was either a pedophile in love with a prostitute or “another motherfucker who thinks he owns the world”
One looked up and I instructed him to call the cops cuz it’s the only time I ever “feel anything”
No cops came.
Shame.
Too tiny. Gonna get shot or kidnapped (I’ll rip your hand and dick off)
KEEP 10 FEET BACK
I might finally be getting to see the lung doctor – after nearly blowing my lung out April 2021
Some boy I don’t really know but had a dream about when I was like 8 and he was perhaps still growing in-womb (not mine, eww) – saved my life – kinda
Because he was “kinda there” with his own selfish needs but was apparently everything I needed in moment, because he dumped loads of chemicals into me, which maybe kept my heart from stopping
I was in so much pain
My heart was having mini pre heartquakes – like heart attack – would actually need medical help if my electrical output continued leaning in that way
I literally could not breathe (and have developed new ways of coping as I have a heart condition now)
Furthermore, they may not tell you this per say, but those with heart inflammation are at risk for Adult Sudden Death Syndrome, and so I’m not out of the woods yet, as I can’t do anything that causes elevation spikes in my heart (adrenaline rushes, or even stress/anger) though I can rebound now on my gravity fitness trainer, and mine is made with special straps, not bungee cords, and I finally found more made in those style and hope to upgrade soon
I’m quite bonded with my squeaky trainer and was gonna use it til it had no life left
My body is ready for a new trainer – a tighter pad – maybe smaller too (I think mine is 36 inch)
Men: “women haven’t contributed anything to society and are only good for childbearing or serving me”
Me: I don’t want your fucking electricity
And I’m nearly tired of the $100 oil changes
$5 oil change, 10 minutes
I argued about inflation and maths and economics in college
I knew globalization was bullshite
I wasn’t for it but the would sell the propaganda and the kids ate it up
Evolution theory is bullshit
I’ve been reading books on quantum physics – Cox and his clocks, y’all are delusional pedophile nihilist and NASA is a fraud – stop taxing me
Neil Armstrong never spoke to anyone from the moon, it was recorded on earth, they had no communication towers according to NASA, the moon landing’s were rehearsed, with a fucking Hollywood director, wake fucking up
Women please especially – now before I wind up a statistical
93% of all murders happen by men (their punishment getting lighter while ours gets worse)!!!!
We’re in a 6th mass extinction!
That’s why 500 whales washed ashore, the bombs they keep setting off in our oceans!!!!! Hello!!!!!!!!!! Science is fun!!!!!!!!
Imperialism. Imagine unplugging from the great machine as a Soldier, I’ve come undone!!!!
And now they wanna lock us up for destroying us with malicious intent and purpose!!!
Some vet just murdered his 3 young children – took everything from his ex wife – who left him a key to her home – he shot his children sleeping in their bed
You’re all monsters!!!
They’re selling dicks at the mall in front of children!!!! And online at Walmart in the health and wellness!!! Why you shopping there? Everything is cancer!!!! Read the labels!!!!
We go to war with our neighbors and then let them come live here!!!!! They hate us!!!!!! CMON!!!
White slavery! The Great Replacement theory is real!!! I’m part of the 244!!!
Do you know who I am pedo!!!!!
God is very real and gracious and angry!!!!!!
Mother earth deserves more!!!!
I hate it here!!!! This civilization you claim you created because women are useless!
Fuck you! You wouldn’t be here without us!!!!!
You’re pissed about it!!!
The Developer!!!! Ha ha charade you are!!!
The Great Filter is real! It’s you!!!!!!
I can smell your stench like Agent Smith!!!!
I don’t trust a Chinaman in my country or a white boy or BLM or Latino lives matter – took all our jobs!!!!!!
I’d love to get back to an ethical job but none exists!
Stop asking for my email or digital identity!!!
I’ve sold my TV, the propaganda machine!
And tho my expensive Apple devices aren’t very old, they’ve forced us outdated, I’m not buying again
I don’t love you!!!! Or your society!!!
WordPress sold out!!! It’s all daily prompt in the feed!
I got rid of everything I own!!!!
I’m ready to dawn a robe!!!!
I don’t know how I’m reaching out to you with a brain, heart, lung injury – plus a curse
But alas miracles!!!!!!!!!!
I’m sorry for my weird behavior – it’s just the Matrix is broken, I’m gonna keep not complying!!!!!!
Morrison wanted to fuck/kill his parents and ghosted them
Father Jim
I sold all my vinyl
I tossed out things that I thought had monetary value in the bin
Many I donated or gave away
Some I sold for a quarter knowing I paid extra for the bonus disc and features, but in the end, it’s worth was obsolete
I’m not jumping from platform to platform for the developers who have yellow fever and think they are gods
Fuck social media – it destroyed the fabric of eveything
Our economy
And porn and its filthy consumers
This boy of young teenage age was staring at me in a sexual way, I snarled my lip
In an alternate universe, there is a sinister version of me, cutting of dicks, and leaving little smily faces on the walls – cuz no one has discovered my identity
🙂
So… if I dream of casting spells on someone who entered my life – then let me hang a horseshoe from my door
The same these scientists don’t believe in God but do a blackhole
It is increasingly hard to listen to the dribble of super religious freaks, knowing many are atheists themselves but push it on us anyway
Do this, do that!!!
I don’t really believe Asia was/is the most advanced species anymore
They are our number one threat and should fear the bery ground they walk on here
Here a demon, there a demon, I’m gonna expose you
I hope I settle down soon, the new carpet arrives Tuesday
I’m still focused on healing, spiritually, mentally, physically, financially (they did steal thousands of my retirement during the pandemic while I was disassociating, FYI)
I lost at least half
But those who took it were traveling to exotic locations during the pandemic – buying luxury phones and cars – with my retirement money
JFC
*insert slang*
But then, they cry “Asian hate”
It’s burns a bit deeper than that
I don’t think hate describes what is growing in me
No one ever says they wanna be an elite serial something when they grow up
People who write things like, “those who say they don’t like money but go work an 8 hour job” don’t consider that being homeless is an actual crime
Born into money, never struggled a day in their life
Don’t know hardship
Gotta incite riots to feel anything
Dead inside
Weak spirits
Lost souls
Dead man drowning
Perhaps I the same
I like feeling and seeing the sun rise and fall everyday
I appreciate how happy the wildlife are when I feed em
They tell us not to feed the wildlife but then capture and enslave these intelligent beautiful creatures for our entertainment and sell their teeth for luck
Parasites – narcissism is a plague
Nihilist
That’s all they are
And all me and the white girl can do is laugh about the insanity of it all
I can’t keep yelling and screaming pedophile, I’ll wind up in a swamp or freezer
That’s already a fear because they follow me out of places I shop, they stalk me, because I’m cute to them
I wish my ear would stop ringing
Need out the city
Helps
The crime is so bad where I live
And it’s being gentrified, just like WP
The CEO has yellow fever
P.S. you never needed to block me cuz you never added my number (I hate you)
(It wasn’t even your main two lines)
Last in, first out
Woot
I’ve met a lot of boys but none looked like the boy I dreamed about nor do any make my heart/brain/pp do what you make it do
Don’t make me delete my blog
Some lines I’m too afraid to cross – but do so erratically
She took the house and kids – probably cuz he was bad – but loved him and let him keep a key – probably to see the kids anytime he wanted – so he took everything from her – killed the kids and himself
But go ahead and blame gun laws and everything but what is to blame…
Keep puffing on my house motherfucker…
It ain’t even my house and I’m paying more than a mortgage – another problem man made
Grief changes you
Grief changes you
Strings stay connected
But you find yourself in a new world
Strange unfamiliar settings
The navigation controls glitching
Life will never be the same
This place is cursed
From twilight to dusk
My sins interspersed
The golden hour
Mixed with rust
The dead
Blood and dust
We’re grounds for divorce
His thirst for lust
We speak in morse
Secret code of sin
And it’s getting worse
He’s first of course
For my hatred to enforce
Man’s overrule
His math and wicked verse
Would you hold my wrinkles, the way you hold the cold?
Just like darkness, you both make me old.
My name is on the lease
But this isn’t home
I blocked your identity
But you will never call
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
I don’t know what my purpose is. Becoming homeless? Jumping from a bridge?
Giving up on all humanity doesn’t quite feel right.
I wanna work – at least – a tiny bit – but there are roadblocks yet to overcome. Patience is something I’m being forced to learn. I guess I need to check out some library books on patience.
I’m having a hard time quitting legal weed. I never had an addiction to cannabis before. I’m not paying the state to renew my card, or the doctor. That’s one way to force me to quit. I researched. It’s extremely hard and most men get a ton of help to quit. I’ve got faith and prayer and hardly any will (to live) to quit.
I’m tired of the brain fog, the shit don’t work.
I’d rather bury the money I’m wasting on medicinal.
But things are always flooding here and I don’t have my own yard.
Apparently buying a home is not a good time, I’ve also researched.
And good luck finding a plot of land that isn’t surrounded by big farming corporations. YUCK.
America was sold out.
Some grandmother caught her 3 year old grandson watching porn and he knew how to access it
The government makes money off porn
Apparently if you’re a criminal or have a hard time getting a job, the government will give your employer a 5k bond for hiring you. FUCK YOU
Society is a scam
I busted my ass through college – to be met with hiring freezes, furloughs, inflation, and a pandemic with a snake oil cure that wiped out half the workforce – leaving the best jobs to only the very brightest – the immigrants – and the shitty jobs for the rest.
It’s also 60% more expensive to live life solo. Yay!
Porn should be banned from the internet. Period. You fucked it up and should have kept it behind closed doors and black curtains.
Some husband cheating on his wife with his girlfriend recently murdered her – and got 4 years. Men are getting punished less and less for crimes against women.
Meanwhile a wife got 17 years for killing her husband in defense – after begging the government for help.
The Great Replacement theory is real
White slavery
Sexual slavery
It’s sick what my parents did to me and my now dead sister (she was 45) (go mom and dad The One Who Shall Not Be Named)
Because of law Section 230 – violence against women and children on porn sites uploaded go unpunished!!!!!
They make money from it and just remove it when asked! No biggie!!!!
Sick society!
I hated porn in the 90s when it was mostly nude magazines and strip clubs!!!!! They weren’t selling anal sex toys in front of the children at the Mall or Walmart!
Y’all are sick!!!!!!!!!!
I’m very depressed among other things
The poets made WordPress what it was – and now they don’t need us – unless to buy a product.
These companies get the government involved and it loses any magic it had.
Advertising is conditioning and should be illegal.
I’m tired of complaining about this manmade world
They’re all nihilist
95% of them
They’d rather believe a math formula predicting a black hole that shouldn’t be there – is more magical – than life growing itself in the womb.
Pissed off they can’t do it themselves
Don’t want women feeling happy
They think AI is better than women
They think women haven’t contributed to society and quite frankly – they can keep their electricity. At the price, I don’t want it.
I never wanted any of this
We’re born into an unfair system
Where boys get away with murder and get paid more than us (and then the government helps them get jobs with bonds)
Those who play by the rules are the mark
If you’re ever in doubt, it’s you…
Narcissism is a plague and easily spread by porn, Christian propaganda, and over nurturing
Test tube babies should be illegal
Dogs – cats – cute but eating up natural livestock and they were made in a lab
Apparently water buffalo are on the extinction list yet I just bought an ear from the Dollar Tree $1.25 Tree)
I haven’t murdered the dog with a “good day” yet
He likely suffer til the end
Today I made him an egg sandwich
Yesterday he had a toasted turkey dog
He has dog food and treats too
He wants his food, my food, plus his food
I fed squirrel yesterday
Hung out for half an hour sundown feeding her/him
The guy who murdered his 8 month old pregnant wife – dumped her from his boat, then went and turned the baby room into storage, sold the wife’s car, and tried to sell the house – he was removed from death row – gets an hour of sunshine per day, 3 meals a day – for life.
She washed ashore
He had searched on his phone “ocean tides” (or waves)
He was probably an undercover gay
They expect us to “mommy them”
Men are monsters. Guaranteed.
If they were really genius, they’d know how to make women happy and stop killing everything.
One person asked what women would do with men safely gone for 24 hours.
Most of them said walk without fear.
WALK
93% of all homicide committed against women are by men.
Since 1970 68% of all life has gone extinct.
Nihilist.
Under the gaze of secular science
(They think they’re geniuses)
They were conditioned to love prostitution and porn as children
The divorce rate is over 85%
They hate us
Math is stupid
I don’t want electricity
(Not at the expense of every woman’s mental health)
1 in 3 women experience assault from man (and it’s never just one man or experience)
1 in 5 men have an STD
They can give you cancer with their dick
Their cum can literally kill you
And you wanna legalize prostitution and already have in Nevada and online
Gonna spread them parasites everywhere
They don’t even test both parties in prostitution (John’s aren’t tested)
Massage parlors have prostitutes
I’m sick of fighting a war I can’t win
I once liked smoking weed and now I don’t and can’t quit (am actively trying)
Will definitely be experiencing mood swings, sweating, insomnia, for a good two weeks minimum (I’ve been researching)
Men get an entire tribe to help them quit
It seems those who were born into class are the only ones fairing well (mostly)
There’s like 30% single never married folk educated but left behind
But the crims get government bonds for their employers to hire them
They kill women and get ahead
I’m kinda pissed
I’d like to see less people deleting their blogs
Let me know where the new blogging community is going
WordPress pushed their product onto the academic platform – and students learn to blog through education (I wasn’t even allowed a phone in school or the military on job)
I wasn’t allowed a life growing up and I’m not allowed one now thanks to gentrification and narcissism
I’m exhausted
I know you’re struggling
To find your humanity
You’re a drowning man taking me down
You didn’t want to be a worker bee
Getting kicked out during winter while the Queen stays in the hive – that you likely made her
You mutilated her bond
She called crying
Now you can murder her by accident and get 4 years
And you have the audacity to ask me, “what’s the matter honey, you depressed” and then tell the person you’re speaking with via phone that I’m a “manhater”
Awe boo
I wanna cut yer dick off
You better start behaving on the road…
And please let God know I just want a tiny acre of land – to grow these seeds I’m hoarding
And please tell God I’d like to be less suicidal when I fuck things up
Also, despite all the very bad graphs and divorce rates, I still wanna husband.
A partnership.
I wanna do all the things with him.
Please get over your lifelong prostitute addiction.
I don’t know how to communicate with you over a cellphone, I come from a time before computers.
When you randomly send me dick picks online or phone, you disrespect yourself and my love for you
You never ask, you just do. I get so angry boo
I’m old fashioned and want to be surprised! In the real world!
And I want to date my husband – it’s biology and how she connects to him
It’s not about gifts, it’s about protection and nurturing
When dating for a minimum of three months no sex, it bonds and creates lifelong bongs. She’s able to imprint on him.
When I asked him would he want to date me when I’m better he replied, “I’m not competing”.
Which isn’t at all what I meant.
I never bonded or imprinted with any man at this point, and now I feel a lost cause.
A lost soul.
They want us to lose our faith.
I don’t believe in his God, if that helps anything.
Suicide is the 7th leading cause of death and I’ve been trying to self-terminate since in womb.
By kindergarten, I got in trouble on the playground for tying a piece of string around my neck
They banned me from people or going outdoors for two weeks
But the prisoners get an hour of sun a day you see…
There are more horror stories and scars on my body – proving I’m a coward
I’m more sad the lotion in the bottle gave me sunspots – some aren’t natural now
I’m tired of crying
Or looking in the mirror
I have to go now because tears
Fuck you
I’ve been trying so hard to be good and you getting bonds for being bad
Fuck you
(I can’t work yet but Bookmarked the page)
1. Hire me please. A. I have Veteran preference. B. I come with official referrals. C. You’ll get a 5k bond for hiring me. D. I smile but am disabled so may forget to cross the T or dot the I.
Them: you’re hired
Seriously tho, I’m overqualified for these Taco Bell jobs, but have been out of the market for medical reasons. I’m hoping that maybe one day I can find a job to fit my disability and I’ll be using the career source and library to help fix me up an updated resume – I’d love to jump the hiring lines with “I come with a 5k bond”
I still have hope for my future to not be homeless
I want plan B to not be a gun…
I’d also like to plan for my 50th (instead of dying at age 45 like my sister, I was nearly there)
I’m 44 today… 🙂
I mean currently (my birthday isn’t until August)
If you base it on THIS calendar
This whole timeline is off
In 2018, a big electrical storm hit New Smyrna Beach (give or two a year), in which I drove directly into it, all four windows down, elbow and arm outstretched, 80 miles an hour, the whole jeep lit up, some hot shit touched me, I screamed “fuck” and thought my life was over, while looking in my rearview and arm windows, seeing tons of bands of lightning outstretched on the pavement, I jumped into this timeline here
My arm burned for days and I blogged about not having any iodine
Kinda got touched by God
I smelled the rain prior and knew a storm was coming but opted to have my windows down
There was no rain, only lightning, the thunder was so loud
I got pushed off a 50 foot bridge once, I’m not sure how I’m even alive
I felt more human feeding that squirrel than I have in some time
I could feel my heart repairing
Somehow, feeding Squirrel connects me to my purpose
The way Squirrel looks at me
Gonna toss him/her some pistachio soon
Yesterday, pumpkin/sunflower/peanut treats.
The way he looked at me
I need husband
He will need to “date me” (not compete) in order to make the mechanics and functions of a man/woman work (AKA imprinting)
(I’m probably some sort of organic AI)
(Angel)
(Not the artificial fake shit)
They want you to believe computers have feelings so you feel less guilt when you fall in love with a robot and not a human)
Awe what’s the matter boo, lost yer soul?
The use of WordPress in higher education
So – were you aware – that universities are on WordPress and require students to use WordPress to post and respond to other students post – and receive GRADED reports
Cuz that wasn’t in the Privacy policy or any of the FAQ or payment policies
I’m not just paying to reach my tribe – they are flooding the network however they can – so we can chase our tails – meanwhile the younger generations get fed with a platinum spoon – this society
We’re paying in the upwards of $300 -$600 to maintain our blogs/ websites every three years – to reach students and faculty! (Or around $150 annually)
F- U – C – K YOU
Here’s an example in use: https://intothewildbyjohnkrakauerthestoryofchrismccandles.wordpress.com/
https://wpengine.com/resources/wordpress-for-education/
https://www.eridesignstudio.com/insights/70-universities-using-wordpress/
Just thought you should know before you bust out the checkbook to keep growing an audience you like to run away
They also hire hackers to blow up the place to sell you “site security”
I can put two and two together
The Hunger (poetry)
Did you ever think God needs you here to keep this place from going under
You’re light and thunder
Relax your plunder
I need you longer
To wake from slumber
Realize the hunger
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
Postscript
I write for God now.
Could you please let God know I’m exhausted and need to rest a bit longer.
These demons have not stopped pounding me since I was born.
My dreams consist of multiple murder and full vape pens.
The mind normally gets what the mind wants
The face may show sadness, the eyes show rage
“The scientists” say that once bees are dead – all life will vanish
“The scientists” have fucked around with the genetic coding of honey bees, which has resulted in a 50% life reduction drop.
The honeybees only live 50% of the life God had intended for them – now that the “scientists” have reduced their genes to half life.
They thought the bees would be “more productive”. Pay attention
These demons are killing EVERYTHING
I do not fear imprisonment, my heart would self-annihilate or I’d ensure humane ending via a cop ending my life prematurely
Keep swinging your dick on the road like you have more importance than everyone women
Tell me something is wrong with me again
I’ll respond: what’s the matter honey? You in-love with a prostitute?
Yes. We know you all are.
The studies say over 50% of men want love with a prostitute and would legalize prostitution
There’s also a direct link to sex trafficking and prostitution – with testimony from men, “she looked trafficked and frightened and underage but it’s what I want”
Fuck you
Cut me off again, anywhere, anyday
You only treat prostitutes with respect huh
Like this book “racing the light” that I checked out from the library just yesterday – nowhere in the synopsis did I know porn would be the subject.
So far, the writer has used his characters to complain about the daily women, one being a “skinny scarecrow”, the other being “fat” – yet glorifying the porn star on the poster, how she looks amazing wearing “all black”. How they wouldn’t fuck her during a podcast show because they have boundaries
GET IN THE FUCKING SEA
I’m done reading!
Chapter 7! He’s on his way to meet the famous pornstar!
Gag me! I’d rather die than live in this porn infested society!
Stop conditioning!
This book should not be at the library!
Walmart and the mall should not be selling sex equipment in front of children or me!!!!!!!!!
FUCK YOU
Tell God I’m angry!!!!!!!
The honeybees deserve more!
Science is unethical!
Art is sin!
90% of all murder happen by men!!!!!!!!!
The other ten percent I’m contemplating falling in!
So many men are committing crimes they are reducing sentences – opposite for women – hardly any do so punishment is more severe
Rules for thee, not for me
I’m gonna fuck you up if you smile at me incorrectly or refuse to open the door when you see me
Cut me off again
I triple dare you
Money don’t mean shit to me
Ending your pathetic society tho – like Bonnie and Clyde
I dream of it
DAYDREAMS
Of bloodletting
With the de-lite
BLACK LIVES MATTER / ASIAN HATE ✓
All before morning coffee
Born this way
Need him to go where I’m going
The library is no longer a safe place for me – I’m angry and contending with that now
I sensed this with the LGBT and Boomer staff lurking and the “smell of lies” and the street political thugs in gold begging for my signature
Still there was hope
Briefly
It didn’t last very long
People ruin everything
I’m finely crafting my monster and angelic side –
Men have suppressed me from sex and defense
They get sex and murder – with the slap of a hand
Cut me off again
I can’t be the only woman feeling this way
Gonna start a riot
The way doctor lady swallowed when I told her “according to the latest studies over 51% want love with a prostitute and would vote yes”
Gutted her right there in her stool
Continued gutting her with more facts
I’m maybe the Oracle but get treated like Agent Smith
I’m maybe Neo Trinity Morpheus too
“Why me Gabriel” (you’re going to hell for the life you took – you’re fucked)
Should I join the order of Satanism? I was reading over their website – I read the DR book age 16 – it cost money to join – they say titles are earned – whatev, give me Priestess or fuck off – I will keep my $$$
Also, should I join? The order?
Of Satanism?
Revenge is a dish served by an Angel rogue in hell
It’s just another form of narcissism carefully crafted
“We’re not religious but we are, we think we’re Gods”
LAUGHS
Oh yeah?
So adorable
I really enjoy spending time in the sun getting “weathered” and feeding all God’s creatures
Probably causing them more harm but the intention is good
Tell God I’m sorry for being such a fuck up
I know I’m suffering cuz I died via suicide – this hell
But when do I?
I’ve been conditioning myself to do it since in womb
Age 5 on the kindergarten – got in trouble for putting “string around my neck and pulling” – wasn’t allowed sunshine or going outdoors for weeks (fuck you)
You treat prisoners better than civilians
I’ve got scars from cutting on my body
Charming
I worry more about my stretch marks than I do scars over my big veins
LOOK: TRIED TO KILL MYSELF THAT DAY
Wanna get married?
*jumps from bridge
Domuso – third party rental payment processors – SCAM
A total scam
Delete your account
Write a paper check
Pay a money order
Protest
It should be illegal anyway – forcing us to pay rent online
Fucking move
Into a tent if you gotta…
I’m still waiting for my rent payment to go through – since the 31st
Paid my rent ahead of schedule – now collecting late fees – new management in the apartment instructed to “not even call Domuso support” and they have to call – to give permission to cancel it – since it’s in an “authorized status” according to Domuso – whom I contacted myself.
I guess they want me chasing my tail about my rent – worrying about fees and whatnot. I’m not.
Back to check writing.
And I dare you to make me homeless for refusal to “pay online” like you are enforcing other apartment buildings to do.
Go check the reviews about this company. They out there stealing money from folks.
It’s now day 9 and my payment is still pending and I’m not allowed to cancel it in an “authorized status” – the apartment complex must call Domuso and give the approval – but management says to “wait” and “we’re not allowed to call…”
Meanwhile, the fees are collecting and I went in with my checkbook ready to fix THEIR MISTAKE (I’m using the same bank I’ve been – no changes, my bank isn’t withholding my payment – nor do they have any reason to) but they refuse to do anything about my pending payment in cyber space and were ready to put a late notice on my door.
Do.
I dare you.
I have contacted Domuso via email and phone – same generic response, “your property needs to accept the transaction” but why should they when they can quietly quit and rack up charges and evictions on poor unsuspecting dumb folk
Touche
Hope you like your job very much…
“What’s the matter honey, you depressed?” (true tales)
“What’s the matter honey, you depressed?”
“Get help”
Those were the questions asked of me after I was rudely cut off on the road, so I rudely began following him, to wherever we were now going.
We wound up in a parking lot for several minutes – he threatened the cops – they never came.
Got his license plate number anyway
Stalked him until he was sweating anyway
But y’all keep giving yourself away
I should have responded “homicidal” but asked “was he in a rush to get to his prostitute.”
Of course, he called me a “manhater” LAUGHS
I’m ready to rip your veins from your neck – and your cock – with my teeth
Please keep risking my life – and then insulting me when I call you out
When he threatened to call the cops, I responded: “I hear restraining orders don’t work – and the more you have the less they work. Please call the cops.”
He retreated to inside his vehicle – but it didn’t stop me circling his vehicle like a vulture
So – y’all are making us depressed with malicious intent and purpose – so we’ll “get a job” and “see a therapist” – something must be wrong – we cry and boys don’t. Ohh boo
90% of all murders happen by men.
Please keep pissing me off
P.S. the jobs and medications to keep me asleep while you live a double and triple evil life – no longer work
Maybe you should have treated ALL WOMEN with respect, not just the prostitutes you’re “in love with” according to the latest studies “most men want love with a prostitute”
*throws up
Fuck you
Cut me off again
I double dare you
P.S.S. That’s TWO days in a row I’ve had the cops threatened on me.
P.S.S.S. Might be meeting my future husband soon and getting a new home. Do you think I’ll get visitation?
Yes. No. Maybe (select one) (please return)
The Answer (thoughts out loud)
I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND – is going to be my answer for everything
*arrives at heaven’s headquarters
“Did you experience joy”
I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND
*at the local hitler hospital deathcamps
“Are you feeling suicidal or homicidal today”
I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND
*at the local coffee shop
“Would you like cream with that”
I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND
The MRI doc saw me at my worse and noted it wasn’t self-image
After I scolded him for scolding me for making him late for his next appointment with his prostitute (I mean “patient”)
I scolded him for me “not being marriage material” – so I wasn’t worried about making him late
When I don’t even have a husband to go home to…
Caught him trying not to look as I was leaving
All 111 pounds pending surgery (I’m likely not going to get)
I’m gonna start juicing and doing a hardcore regime
When researching, one person beat the odds – but she also had people bringing her vegetables and fruits to encourage her – it took a village – not just her own pocketbook.
Ain’t nobody knocking on my door bringing soup – let alone fresh herbs to juice with so not to die.
I’m getting death threats
(But my doctors do encourage me to stay alive – the male ones anyway)
The females can piss off – they aren’t as smart or empathetic – I hate being under THEIR CARE
HELPS
P.S. don’t try to maintain a schedule – if I pick up on that – I will intentionally make you late lose time/money with the prostitute
I will pick up on it
And now any time he drives to a prostitute, “not marriage material she said”
Some of y’alls addiction’s are costing us
I’m out for revenge
Gonna make you late now everywhere – everyone – everybody
That’s my level of petty
You wanna call the cops on me? Giddyup!
You hate scheduling appointments? Awe. Shame you were such a bitch I’m missing all my classes.
Self help books exist and I can read and do not need a librarian to check out – we got the self checkout system – for once – I can pass go and not pay $200 or look at your face ever again.
The cop likes me there, he gets my sweet side.
Maybe he’s my future hubby
YOU NEVER KNOW
“You that girl I see at the library”
“Yea”
“Why you having the law called on you”
I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND
Apparently I have worth (journaling)
And money
I have TWO investment funds
TWO
I currently can’t contribute to them but I can move them around and they are EARNING intrest
I’m not working currently but I could move them to an outside 401K or IRA
I have them nestled in a “safe” zone and I thought I had drained them and closed them – I had not :p
I had a weird lesson yesterday while waiting on the cops to show up for me – whom never arrived – even after waiting ten minutes in the parking lot – driving off a few blocks – returning and beeping my horn – still no cops – dern.
My future husband may be a cop – and cuffing me would only turn me on – as I’m dead inside with no adrenaline glands to tease me
So please – do as you say you will do – and call
(I did in fact see one turn and head that direction – just like in a video game – I thought – I’m playing real life – the heat is on – retreat.)
But in the games I have adrenaline.
I’m too calm taming the beast.
All these NPC’s getting in the way of my big mission
Cuz I came home and discovered I ain’t broke entirely
I could start the process to withdraw my money – at a 20% taxed penalty.
Or, move my funds into a “high risk” fund.
Maybe start with the smaller account, play around with him first.
I have nearly $12K
One with over 10k (big heart eyes) and one with over 1K (big heart eyes)
Money should make me feel something but it never has
I’m careless spending
I took a loan on it during my transition – thought I pulled it all – apparently I set myself up for success during my fall
AMAZING GOOD GIRL
I do want to take a financial class and I hope my next book I check out will be Americanized and not British – as the book I checked out was all about pounds (it did not say this anywhere on the cover or insert, only in the preface you cunt) – they (the brits) get to sit down on the job – life is different for them – and how they earn thus save. Fuck off, book returned partially read.
I will sign up for free financial assistance – they offer the vets this – fuck us up the ass but say “don’t worry, we offer free advising”
Sign me up
I’m paying attention this time
I still need a husband to manage my finances
I won’t have a husband cuz he’ll message “he’s running late” and I’ll demand a divorce since he’s “seeing a prostitute”
A Skype call will come in 2 minutes later where an entire team will yell “he’s madly in love with you” and he’ll come through the door with chocolate edible roses after the meeting
Since he humiliated me with the Skype call – had me red blushing – the whole office laughing
In 2018 the judge didn’t want to speak to me “until I took three breaths” because “I looked like I was about to jump from the bridge behind us” and I told her my parents didn’t teach me about credit or those kinds of monsters under my bed – she said hers did and she still messed up
But I thought I drained my retirement savings “staying afloat”
BB had on a life jacket apparently
So I called this morning, “I don’t know why I created a new account when there’s no money in it and I can’t do anything with it”
Well, turns out, I do have money – in two accounts – both earning – they can be moved to other funds (some safe, some risky) or moved to an outside 401/IRA.
If I start work again, I can contribute to them (disabled not obsolete)
I could take it all out right now and buy some land or a home
I’m done pawning things and selling things
I have a “savings problem” just like China (it creates inflation)
Monkey see, monkey do
I urge you to start saving too
Let the window clerk quietly quitting give you the fuel you need
Pick up that dirty money on the ground
I may pick up the lost dirty money but I don’t steal tip money you fucking cunt
Let that be the cue you need to quit spending thousands of dollars on weed that don’t work
The audacity
I am not your sanctuary for healing after you’ve committed a bad deed
My soul has boundaries
My thoughts too
I didn’t tell my sister goodbye when she was dying at age 45
So please, call the cops on me after you’ve insulted me multiple times, I will wait
My future husband may be arriving to arrest me
Maybe I will feel something
Uhm, I’m not as broke as I thought I was!?!
I woke up in a different timeline again
Where I have some retirement investments still – despite the Great Economic fall – I had a lifeline
“Life Jackets worn – nobody mourns” HOOAH
I am a wild anomaly
Still might be homeless soon – can’t have a feeling – but definitely be needing that new carpet if I inhabit these grounds another year
Apparently hotel living can cost about as much as a rental each month – but it may include coffee and zero commitment
Now might be a good time to chill out and not get arrested
It’s just, I’m feeling what Edgar felt and responding accordingly
Sure I look like a crazy wild ape, but they need to learn a lesson
God saw what he needed to see
I would have died with thousands of dollars I had completely forgotten about
LAUGHS
What other gold have I hidden in society
It’s been earning me interest all these years
I think it’s important to discuss savings – so many out here struggling for various reasons
I thought I had lost it all
I have over ten thousand dollars in my one fund (not bragging, many years of investing into my fund through hard work) (getting up them early hours) (staying late) (pulling 60/90 hour work weeks)
Working 12 days straight in a row every month – without a day off – for nearly 8 years
And y’all complain when you go a week…
I worked the other weeks in the month too – just with a weekend off or two
I’m exhausted and disabled
But glad you don’t have to worry about quality control or ethics at your job – I’m done supporting society
And you want your tip first – giveme giveme giveme
Fuck you – I’m not tipping you so you can go get a hand job before you even bring me my meal
Fucking ass cunt
Broke the new mop cleaning (tales from the crypt)
I. Can’t. Win.
Tried to sell my PS4 rig. Had the cops called on me instead.
I said go on, I’ll wait.
They closed shop.
Waited outside ten minutes, cops never arrived.
Left. Passed a cop. Went back. Drove through and tooted my horn and waved.
Still no cop. Shame.
I hear restraining orders don’t work – and the more you have – the less they work.
Probably cheaper to have bought my items
And before you go taking their side
I honestly had not done anything wrong
I got excited at the mention of cops
“Oh yeah”
“Well go on then, I’ll wait…”
I guess I’m done pawning shit in this town
But I ain’t done tooting!
Looks like I’m keeping the ole PS4 – I’m being cockblocked from selling or deleting my account
And if you threaten the cops on me, make sure you deliver. M’kay.
Oh and… broke the new mop cleaning.
The metal handle twisted like foil.
Gotta get on my hands like Cinderella to scrub.
And buy a new mop. Made of Iron apparently.
Fuck you
Things that keep me up…
“I’m dying”
“The immigrants stole my job”
“I’m not marriage material”
Which statement would a doctor more likely respond to!?!
If you selected the first or second one, you’d be wrong…
New carpet approved + (journal log)
So the front office approved my new carpet request for renewal – but the replacement is closer to April – my renewal time.
I also have to vacate for a few days – I requested new paint too – but the carpet was the big ticket item I was fighting for – and won. Don’t have to pay anything to have it replaced, so if they don’t paint, I can do that myself. I forgot to ask about the walls, the carpet was the main thing.
I literally would not renew without fresh carpet.
I’m going on six years here.
And, a bunch of units will be vacant soon – and redone – they are letting go of residents apparently. In my building.
New neighbors, new carpet, maybe another lease renewal. I mean, my carpet was approved.
New paint on the walls.
New lighting.
Clean space.
Sanitized.
Do I want out of this God forsaken city? Yes.
Do I want to be homeless? No.
Moving is extremely challenging currently – in an inflated economy – when literally no one returns your calls or emails.
Meanwhile, the place I live has a SIX MONTH waiting list.
And – I’m under a homeowner buy program, I’d be giving up several years progress of that.
I have a COE through my military service – an incentive I earned.
Checking out financing books at the library, gonna take advantage of the tools offered to vets for “financial counseling”, basically starting over.
Right now it’s planning and prep for starting over.
And, there’s big pieces of furniture to be junked – but the junk removal wanted to charge me $300 to remove maybe half a truck load – of not actual junk.
I’ll ask around the neighborhood if anyone wants a recliner leather couch (they will) or a glass table (likely so – that bitch weighs over 500 pounds)
I WANT NEW CARPET – I fought for it – the manager said it’s coming in like a month and a half – plus fairly certain she got me the fresh paint request too!
I’m basically getting new grounds without leaving my grounds – but temporarily vacating for a few says – while maintenance does repairs!
So I’m working on getting everything cleared out!!!!!
I also found out today that I am marriage material – while fighting with my doc
I just got back from an MRI
My doctor complained he’s got to stay over with his other patient because I squirmed and we had to reimage around 15 minutes worth – setting him behind
I said “oh boo”
“I’m dying. The immigrants stole my job, and I’m not even marriage material. So I got more things to complain about”
My doc undoing my IV
“Why do you think you’re not marriage material” (he doesn’t let me answer)
“Well if you think it’s self-image, you’re wrong”
This was the end session
But during the screening he mentioned I was “fairly young” and then “young still” a couple more times
Also when I had to put on scrubs, they barely fit I’m so petite, I complained
He mentioned it was good, lots of “400 pound vets”
So I got a few things going for me still apparently (I’m doing an AAR – leave me alone)
1. I’m fairly young still
2. I’m petite
3. I am marriage material
That’s in scrubs that don’t fit, no makeup, oily hair (it’s being treated so it’s actually clean – I’m deep cleaning my entire existence lol)
Yesterday my physical therapist doctor couldn’t keep his hands off (his job – stop hating just cuz it felt good)
“Bro, why did you execute your wife”
“I didn’t like how the doctor was doing his job”
I must be a nice of fresh air from all the sickly dying vets
My sick and dying is still marriage material
I don’t know how someone pending surgery is marriage material but tis is…
He said “fairly young” but I reminded him I’m still ovulating and trying to “protect the goods” despite “getting on up there”
He was so trying to not look through his peripheral vision as I was leaving bless
I yelled at my doctor for making him late and not being marriage material – but he disagreed
I found out today that I’m getting new carpet and marriage material
I want some new tattoos
Warrior’s get knocked down – and ye I’m pending dying one day – but I ain’t in a wheelchair yet
I overheard one doc telling his patient “but you gotta stop drinking” (he won’t) but mine was high-fiving me and today another doc said I am marriage material
That’s what THE HAND implied
I long for a husband lol
Not one “running late to see his prostitutes”
HONEY WORK CALLS
And they all busy with the kids..
No, get yer ass home!
That fucking hand
And the dream wasn’t even sexual you psychopath
You were just waiting for me to fuck up – *rolls eyes*
I am trying to fix my self-image – apparently it’s destroyed – I need new carpet and a tattoo.
I’m probably juicing instead of surgery but holistic things cost a lot in an inflated market
I didn’t think I had any worth – but I got my 20 minutes in of rebounding today.
Small white girls are incredibly exotic
And desired
I’m not even wearing earrings anymore
I have freckles and bags and worry lines
My peach must be made of platinum – atomic number 78 – and the year I was born
I want a new blog
But then, there’s contending with the “rules for thee, not for me” agenda everywhere I go
You read through the fine print?
We can change whatever we want – whenever we want – we don’t have to notify you
I can’t even delete my PS Sony account – like wtf
I thought I was swearing off men forever – not all women are gold-diggers, or cheaters.
And I’d like to help some of those 400 pound vets not die
From their inflictions and addictions
Rebounding is saving my life
I was always in a leadership role
I need to find purpose with my life again
I just want updated things! I was completely left behind in society!!!!! I’m allowed to complain!!! Stop silencing me! The complaint wasn’t about you or us!
I think you threw away whatever you threw away despite me trying to get you to move to my free account (now deleted)
“I don’t understand metaphor”
Whatever helps you sleep at night
For me, new carpet would help. I’d sleep on it. Instead of this terrible bed!
It’s going in the trash bin!
Like everything in my life!!!!!!
Selling the ps4 and games at the pawn soon!!!!
Gonna cost nearly $200 for a 3 year commitment to a new blog, but generally $150 annually.
Even tho – most of the big cats have taken all the traffic.
We’re paying to chase our tails
I just wanna write!
It’s ridiculous I gotta pay extra to hide my identity from the web!
“Privacy protection”
SCREAMS
And I went to Aldi for the first time – with a brain injury – unprepared
I want my own fucking yard
I don’t know how I’m asking for much
The library hooked me up with some seeds
I have 8 or 9 new seeds to grow things in my windowsill or whatnot
Books checked out from the library
Apparently men are still interested in women my age – despite looking like Edgar Allan Poe did 5 minutes before he died.
It’s very important to me to keep writing – God knows why (I wish he’d let me know)
I can’t just buy a domain anymore and hook it to a blog – you gotta get a plan – blah blah blah
But I already have a new identity
Bet I made the doc late for his dinner with his prostitute – or maybe he reserves Friday nights for “the wife”
I like that we both yelled at each other but didn’t get mad
He still thought I was marriage material after scolding him for making him late for his next patient
I’m so much drama in such a small frame
Need a hubby…
But he’ll divorce me because I told the doctor “yes that feels good”
I bought cabbage and stuff to make soup
They threw enough “energy” at me to “heat things up” and energy is radiation I think – had enough so getting offline now
Gonna be easier to let more things go tomorrow – knowing the new carpet is coming soon – getting my little apartment redone – might can survive the rest of the apocalypse
Keep praying for me…
Trying to get back on my feet
Not a wheelchair – and I’m happy for those who get the new top of the line ones!!!!
Not all disabilities are visible!!
The only way I’d sign another year lease here – was to get the carpet replaced
It took nearly 3 weeks to get approval on that!
Got it today!!!!!!
Physical therapy (journaling)
Physical therapy has been scheduled for once weekly
So many vets coughing and being issued “Cadillac” wheelchairs – top of the line deathbeds – meanwhile – my new doctor is high-fiving me every step of the way – got knocked down – don’t intend to stay down.
Also – he was impressed with my rebounding results – and we’re focusing on core strength and conditioning – as well as stretching exercises.
There’s a program I was emailed – already downloaded the app *sigh* but my doc can keep up with my progress. You earn achievements.
It’s better than a coffin in the ground.
Those Cadillac wheelchairs swivel, the seats. But it’s not enough incentive for me to die.
Walking cane is a weapon, I told the front desk jokingly. He concurred.
Cute psychotic homicidal bitch.
Love two boys exactly the same.
They both ghosted me.
Too much woman all petite
Can’t handle me
I’m still recovering from not dying
18 months in…
Doc was impressed with my quads
Tough little bitch
Told him “ten minutes a day” and I’m up to twenty – but ten is all you need
He said he had 4 girls
Bet he’s gonna get his wife rebounding and the fam 🙂
He got on his computer, “this is what you use”
“Yep, one of them. Mine’s a Gold Gym – does the trick – but they got some costing a grand”
The fact that he looked up a rebounder tho 🙂
Cuz the peach is looking rump – it works the core – no need for high jumps or tricks – it’s resistance training – and my heart is responding really well – there’s zero impact to your joints – doesn’t upset my bones – and my physical therapist doctor did not instruct me to stop – and I appreciate he checked to understand the equipment I was using to get well.
But the peach 🙂
Also, despite the protein increase intake, I am 111 pounds.
When laying on my stomach, my peach is peachy – round rump
Gotta keep going
He said, “you go 20 without stopping”
And I said “yep”
But explained how I had to work up to those minutes.
2 minutes to start, then 5.
10 a day is all you need – I’m mostly 20. But do take an occasional rest day – and not fret.
I mark my calendar now, with the minutes jumped
Every step counts
My fucking heart hurts and it’s hard to breathe
But he taught me new stretches that actually help.
Got a good team now. Trying to be present.
The clerk made me a coffee before I left. From their personal stash. He poured a shit ton of cream in. He had the good stuff. LOL
Anyhoo
Would be hardluck dating currently
“No sorry, busy that day”
And to find out it’s because I’m actually metamorphosing or something
Or that I have a crush with my doctor
But then – I have a crush on too many men – and it seems to get me in trouble
(I don’t actually have a crush on him but he was cute despite his mask on)
I’m professional. Chill.
Yesterday. All I saw was a white hand signaling me to cross – his SUV completely darkened – broad day – all I saw was a hand – it was just HOW he extended his hand for me to cross – the way it went down flat – in slow mo – as not to rush me – tho it takes trust obviously for these psychopaths not to run me over.
He liked my leggings presumably.
Even had a lady compliment me about them at the library
I was in such a depressed monotone state too – my attempt at being social felt awkward – like why did I have to speak other than “thank you”
“I got them at the mall” – as if only poor people dress like me (I’m self-loathing but looking hella cute)
But she wanted to know which store
“One of them seasonal shops in the middle, today is the last day”
Anyhoo – the way for him to signal for me to cross – like I had worth
Despite the cheap sandals
It requires effort and work to look like a professional fuck up
You don’t get a peach like this just being skinny
The quads are getting thick
The doc pointed out the strength
“The rebounding”, I exclaimed!
Been hard at it this year daily effort – and to be 20 minutes a day – still feeling the burn – but not needing to break for water…
You don’t need to spend loads of money getting equipment
I asked should I wear a belt or not
He advised against it, saying it makes the muscles “not need to work”
But he might be ordering me a ball (can’t remember the correct term) and some other thangs – just stated he didn’t want to overload me
Road to recovery continues
Need my mental health to catch up to my peach – heart still needs mending
Embarrassing, at my young age, got cardiopulmonary visits to attend
Told him, “those fucking vaccines”
“Crawled into the second one the way John Jones kept crawling into that hole”
So – he needed to know the condition of my heart before we proceeded with whatever we we’re going to do
He really improved my breathing with those stretches – love the detailed plan that was sent over – got some good doctors still
He didn’t have to order me a wheelchair, I got several high-fives, there may be hope for me yet 🙂
“After you” is all the hand implied
These fuckers are one pedal away from crazy, and I even crazier with the trust it takes to cross the street – or a running vehicle signaling me to go
But he was going so fast you know, I was willing to wait
“The hand” insisted with its one sweep
Couldn’t even see a face – so hidden
No point in looking back – windows blacked out
He was in a hurry to get where he needed to go – until I had to cross
Probably liked the leggings…
I’m basic and boring but like not
Top of the tier white trash
They forget they have yellow fever when they see me
I told my therapist that I did in fact have a plan b, but I wasn’t sure if it fell under planning, told her I have a mantra and motto now, “suicide is humane” but that I got my library card instead of a gun – and I graduated to another group class – this one 8 weeks long.
I’m like, “can we at least wait until I find out if I’m homeless or not” and so that was pushed back to April thankfully (the classes)
I sat there holding that extra calendar this morning, until God said “someone will need it” and I felt so awkward taking one solo calendar in – to place where other free shit normally is – only nothing was there – and I only had the one calendar to give – and a month has already passed, plus we’re day 2 February, but God said…
And not even 7:30 am some distressed vet at the front desk asking if they happened to have any calendars left – and they did not
And I told him loudly, “well God told me someone would be needing one, and I sat one down at the entrance if it is still there” – he hurried off
I thought, “he’ll return if he got it and let me know”
He fucking got it and was still reading it AFTER I went in and exited my appointment
Bless
Someone in fact did need a calendar
Two days into February…
God gives me assignments that make me feel awkward but I do them anyway…
People notice when I’m in a room
Or outside…
Am I too proud?
I certainly don’t look it with my head down
Even when my hair is untamed and a rope hanging round my neck – I swear – they see something I don’t
HIS HAND
My God – I’ll be dreaming of it and my future boyfriend will ghost me because of it
“Bro, she was perfect, why did you let her go”
She cheated on me, in a dream
Too Calm (journal log)
I’m told I’ll be getting a renewal invite to remain at the heart of darkness.
It’s been nearly one year since that couple was gutted in the street – by a black immigrant – simply because they were “white” – and now they’re dead – and he gets 3 meals a day, a free roof over his head, dental, and an HOUR of sunshine for his MENTAL HEALTH – on us (the tax slave payers dollars = time/energy)
The political thugs in gold chains now want your signature – soliciting anywhere they legally can: the library, the mall, the medicinal shops.
Overjoyed.
I don’t know where I’m going – but I don’t have to prove anything to “remain here” as I’ve been stuck in purgatory so long now – I don’t have to provide any evidence of my existence.
Just keep paying the rent….
Do as say
But I yelled at the boomer Publix employee, “no bitch, you lost a fucking customer FOREVERRrrr”
Apparently we became a cashless society and she felt the need to rub it in, three times, scolding me in front of everyone around, my cash in hand, unable to pay.
“It says it right there” (honestly, you only need to point out my failure ONCE)
I’ve boycotted Publix forever
There’s poison and sugar and “natural flavor” in everything now anyway
“How did she die”
“Starved to death…”
“White people work out one time and be skinny” (latest neighborhood report on me)
The upside: they think I’ve only worked out once. Skinny. Weak bitch.
Let that be my fucking gain
In fact, at Burger King yesterday, the Mexican manager came out with two of her BLM pimps, when I told her to “step outside”
He was very upset when he heard me say, “oh you had to bring your pimps with you huh”
Very upset he got
Truth in fact hurts
I drove off too calm
The adrenal glands were not working
Even pulling off
“I’m too calm”
“Had to bring your pimps huh” I continue to yell, as traffic at the window was at a stop
They gonna run off all their white costumers with their terrible service
I ordered the “impossible king” and apparently that’s too complicated for certain species to get right
Though I repeated my order THREE times
Fuck it
I like starving anyway
I got my library card tho
And holyshit, that’s where I’ll be at the end of the world
Check the libraries
Leave clues a 5 year old could solve (anything harder and I’ll read the data wrong and wind up stuck in a fucking hole – as is now – with a heart condition – thanks to “television” and government – whom I no longer listen to in any capacity)
At least the library is ad free
I can read in silence
Love the smell of the old books
All them lies
There are perks to not being homeless (yet)
Aside from the thugs trying to solicit my signature in the parking lot – everywhere I go
In their gold chains…
I wanna puke
Stop talking to me
From now on
When someone interrupts whatever I’m doing solo
“Did I give you permission to talk to me”
And the ghosting will begin
And please cross my shadow
I know you’re trying so hard to break me out here
Of being a good Soldier, a good soul
But I swore my hand before the flag and God – and on my heart – and signed the dotted line – took my blood and all – to protect and defend the USA and its citizens – not DEMONS
And right now you stepping all up in the “fine print”
I dated for a lifetime and have nothing to show for it
STOP LOOKING AT ME
I’m ready to spit on these thug politicians in the street
FUCK OFF BRO
You can’t have my signature, my name, or my soul
Go back to your porn and prostitutes
I was trying to enjoy the jazz event – and men breaking their eyeballs to get a look
STOP LOOKING
I had to hold back the tears
Pretend the music was getting to me
Next week I hang with a cop who teaches about a Daytona Beach serial killer
Exciting! They want us living in fear!
Do I want to say yes to the “true encounters Daytona Beach serial killer” event. Yes I do.
I’m not even a jazz fan – but I went – and enjoyed (still cry anywhere)
The audiobook helped me not stalk anyone
But apparently I’m not allowed to order food anymore anywhere
Unless a yuppie place
I found something that sparked joy in me
It matches my values – it offers self-improvement and the entertainment is how it should be – without disruptions or ads
Easy scrolling interface
Eventually I’ll make my way to the science museum
The skate park and rinks
I checked out an express book
I’m 8 chapters in
I’m becoming present – and creating boundaries and discipline
My mind needs exercise – the books provide
The 2 week express lane gives me a challenge
You can’t renew those
I got my library card and it’s bringing me happies – can’t describe
So much to do too – free classes, movies at the auditorium, events…
I was also the youngest person at the jazz event
If you’re thinking about killing yourself – maybe get a library card instead
And be present
Read what you check out
Set time aside to read
Luckily – my first book was large print – that’s made reading a pleasure – no headaches or squinting – though the writer is a pedo – he’s brilliant – it’s no wonder I grabbed his book – of all books on the “new” shelf (express check out and no renewal)
I like all the digital perks that come with my card – as well as the real world perks – and I’m tapping into all
NOT READY TO DIE
But these monsters are ready for me to shed my light
I’m too calm…
Economics of the Underground Commercial Sex Economy
A new Urban Institute study sheds light on America’s underground commercial sex economy
— Read on apps.urban.org/features/theHustle/mobile/index.html
Old data. Since then the pimps have overtaken the White House and now sex toys are sold in front of children!
Do We Want Mexifornia? | Flood of Illegal Immigration into California
Thousands arrive illegally from Mexico into California each year—and the state is now home to fully 40 percent of America’s immigrants, legal and illegal.
— Read on www.city-journal.org/html/do-we-want-mexifornia-12236.html
And now they can vote! Anyone can vote! Sex toys are sold in front of children!!!!!!
America is gone!!!! Too many hands in the cookie jar!!!!!
Wage war on the cartels killing Americans
Wage war on the cartels killing Americans
— Read on www.cotton.senate.gov/news/op-eds/wage-war-on-the-cartels-killing-americans
US sees recent rise in maternal deaths, CDC report shows
US sees recent rise in maternal deaths, CDC report shows – CNN
— Read on amp.cnn.com/cnn/2022/02/23/health/maternal-deaths-increase-us-report/index.html
Keep tap dancing over the fact that the death jab is the enemy! White Lab coats! Nurses in comfy shoes!
We got all these pedos running around and no mamas or babies. Just an FYI
Most young women have clotty periods now. Listed as “heavy flow”.
Been sterilized yah know
An entire race
Enjoy yer porn
44 Shocking Animal Shelter Statistics (2022 UPDATE) | Petpedia
Unfortunately, most animal shelter statistics paint a sad story. Though the progress in the years is evident, there’s plenty that can be done in 2022.
— Read on petpedia.co/animal-shelter-statistics/
Hail Hitler! He’s alive!
I’m old and sick! Euthanize me!!!!!
It’s not 60k annually anymore. The numbers are much much worse.
“Since 1970 68% of all life has gone extinct”
And children are being conditioned as children to support prostitution and porn. That’s why the divorce rate is 100%!
Ex-Porn Star Tells the Truth About the Porn Industry
Shelley Lubben, an ex-porn star, discusses the destructive, drug infested, abusive, and sexually diseased world of porn the porn industry.
— Read on www.covenanteyes.com/2008/10/28/ex-porn-star-tells-the-truth-about-the-porn-industry/
They’re all spreading diseases. Even the silent ones. The enemy knows how to destroy a nation.
4 Dangers of Pornography
There are dangers of pornography that ensnare people every day. Knowing those dangers will help us avoid its devastating consequences.
— Read on www.allprodad.com/4-dangers-of-pornography/
Kids are gone in America. Little demons.
3 Reasons Why Watching Porn Is Harmful (And Research Is Proving It)
Just like it took decades for science to prove that smoking cigarettes was harmful, we are learning a similar lesson with porn in our society today. Science and research are proving that porn harms…
— Read on fightthenewdrug.medium.com/3-reasons-why-watching-porn-is-harmful-and-research-is-proving-it-bc572b1b0abf
The elite are building a society of psychopaths and narcissists period. They serve Satan, Black Holes, Dark suns, worlds, darkness in general, they are demented demons without a soul. They are nihilistic at their core.
*sigh* (journal log)
I went and got some medicinal
After several days of cold cutting
And zero sleepz in the nightz
I caved
Got 1 vape the size of Texas, a 10 pack of indica blueberry edibles, and 7g worth of “premium ground”
Back home – hit the pen twice – feel the happies
I arrived “can you check my pen, I don’t know if it’s charging/working or in my head”
Gave myself 3 options tho
1. Cold cut quit (aggressive)
2. Not renew my state license in April – ween myself – slow quit
3. Not quit – pay the ridiculous fees – to maintain
4. Vote for recreational (nope, you’ll have to cut my dick off before I ever get out again and vote)
Look where voting for medicinal got me: an addiction
Prior to the government getting involved, weed never gave me no kind of addiction
Unless you count the feel goods
I’m literally more motivated on it
Suddenly, with my new flock of bird neighbors – and the medicinal two toke hit after several days none, I feel like I could clean up the slums
There’s a Gold’s Gym down the road – could like join
I’ll have to disassociate from dudes watching me
I think the guy at the shop is into me
Not sure how I wound up with six bucks back but took my buck and he was like “you got another five”
I only took X amount of cash in to avoid overspending
But between the 50% off deals + another military discount + more cash back than I had calculated, I’m square
Paid like 40 bucks or something
Also, the blueberry eddies are 10mg pieces, so I’ll be eating one with my dinner / evening bath
Not smoking to disassociate, just to function :p
I’m at a crossroads in my life
I decided to throw everything overboard!
I may jump!
Not to die!
To jump ship!
It’s terribly hard being autistic and suicidal: “how yah doing today”
“I ain’t looking for a bridge to leap, and the sun is out!”
Politically probably not correct but honest to the core
The other customer was listening to me order and him give me all kinds of recommendations lol
“I haven’t slept in 3 days and sometimes I just need a sativa”
I think he pretty much ordered everything – I went in as a walk-in
But he seems keen to service me
And she was like “sorry for listening” lol
But I was trying to hurry cuz others arrived and I even offered to get out of line – anyhoo – he listened to what I needed – his suggestions were good – including where I could buy a decent pipe to smoke the flower, cuz the shop I went to sold me a non working glass pipe – and I love wasting my money
Right now I got rice papers from the medicinal shop – and those were tricky to learn – but they are slow burning – and aren’t as strong (very smooth paper but probably poisoned)
Like I registered to vote for recreational a couple months back – but that was before my meltdown
I’m having a midlife crisis
Right now I’m sitting on clean linen and thinking I might could manage this dump a bit longer – if it means land for me in the future
If I were to renew, I’d want fresh paint and carpet.
I mean, the apartment is nearly empty and I’d pay them an extra $200 to lay some fresh paint
(The carpet would need to be a free replacement as part of the renewal agreement – especially as long as I’ve been here – and the COVID pandemic)
This isn’t a good time to be homeless
People aren’t returning emails or phone calls about places I wanna live
And “Astoria” was a big mistake
I don’t want anywhere near this county or HollyWood
I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m going to do
I have a very busy day doing real world stuff
I hate real world and would rather disassociate
Because people are involved
And I have to be civil
I identify as Angelic and this is spiritual warfare
I’m like fight mode 24/7
The birds moved near me
It’s changing me
I don’t disassociate making content and I wanna get in the headspace to get back at it
I’ve been self-loathing
But also working out – I wanna get the peach in shape
The boobs need a little weight
Half my kitchen was donated or trashed
Some is packed – it might get trashed too
Pantry is empty
Everything is on the table remaining
The lease is up in April
There’s been no invite to renew yet nor have I given any 60 day warning
Don’t know what month to month rent would cost (like if I needed an extra 2 or 3 months to find my new home) (and stay without a 12 month lease) (if they still do that the costs go up)
I don’t want to be homeless dying
My bathtub is good enough
As far as rebuilding my financial wealth – I’m working on it
The little cushion I have, doesn’t go far in a 40% inflated economy – realistically – and per research
If I could get to a gym – and get outside these walls
I’m just re-inventing myself – even if to start fresh
I need a sterilized and stable foundation
I prayed to God “I need to be closer to Pretty Bird” and he sent me a flock
Swear to fuck
Clean bed sheets tonight
Weed
I have to be careful with this new age shit, it can trigger my ptsd and suicidal ideation
Sometimes you need to take a break and let other people order for you
I don’t really want folks offing themselves – I say terrible things – I’ve slept with the devil
God knows I sinned
I tell him often I’m not worth anything – while begging “don’t let me die here”
It’s complicated
I’m hungry
Food is good
I have leftover soup and bread
I’m trying to find my place in this world – and balance
I’m a Soldier, I like working out – but now I do things differently since I’m at risk of ASDS
So proud of myself for finally reaching my ten minute rebound goals this week
And then 20… 🙂
I’m glad people notice my efforts in the real world – I’m sensitive about my skin scars and stretchmarks tho
Don’t mind my giggly boobs but they need some foods (been ill but also working out and detoxed too)
Got down to 110 in fact, now putting the weight back on
Was 112 last at the VA (will check soon)
Been several weeks tho and I’ve been rebounding most of January 🙂
I’m starting to see thick in the front – like the quad maybe or thigh area
My leg muscles are forming more and tight
My stomach is pretty flat but could be better
I want more tattoos 🙂
Would help make the new me 🙂
Something feminine and cliche
Flowers
Wouldn’t mind some tasteful flowers on my hip area but I gotta find a real artist
I don’t want to decide what will look good on me and the exact spot
Like bro, do your fucking job
I need to hire a decorator for my new lifestyle
I’m a Soldier and poet
I know war and I know words (terribly)
These days it’s the algorithm fucking me up 95% of the time
I miss being a Soldier
I miss my comrades
Gift giving is the heart of tribal union – exchanging gifts. Now I know why I do this.
It’s not my fault others think it’s “too much” or never return anything. I wasn’t in it for returns.
I give because I want to
It’s tribal
I have the eldest and rarest bloodtype – with only 6-11% of the population having it
Part of the 240k woke too
I’m kinda in a cult aren’t I
Hungrz
Must eat!
‘Girlfriend experience’ and ‘porn star experience’ – the facts vs the myths.
Seeing a sex worker for the first time is one of life’s greatest thrills. But it comes with a bit of a learning curve. If this is a recent hobby, you may have noticed two of the most common phrases in the escort industry: ‘girlfriend experience’ (GFE) and ‘porn star experience’ (PSE).
— Read on tryst.link/blog/girlfriend-experience-and-porn-star-experience-the-facts-vs-the-myths/amp/
“Life’s greatest thrills” huh!
Regular women should stop having sex with men. Let them pay for it forever more, the fantasy! They’re so bored with us anyway. They don’t want sensual sex. That isn’t what the porn industry conditions them to do, nor the prostitutes.
And it states right here, “porn isn’t real. Big dicks and endless sex isn’t real”. “You have to treat your PSE professionally”
Meanwhile the divorce rate is over 85%
I feel I was left behind sexually.
The only justice is knowing these prostitutes are actually miserable and disassociating while performing sex work. It’s fake fantasy. Delusions of grandeur. Unrealistic.
But the money is under the table and tax free and many men go during “working hours”
So I’m no longer looking at man in the real world – in any capacity
They won’t stop looking at me tho
Big Porn & prostitution (not opinion, FACT)
They’re in-love with the porn stars and prostitutes (according to scientific studies)
Except, it’s not real.
The prostitutes – according to studies – create alternative personas while doing sex work – causes negative mental health – and men do not need to be tested for STD or STI – even though they are the silent carriers – often without any signs or symptoms – which can lay dormant for years – and parasites and cancer can be spread from semem, as well as simple skin-to-skin contact.
I’ve shared every study backing this up.
The prostitutes “rub their back” before doing sex work – and they do not use the same style to connect in their personal lives – they make up personas to get through the sex work – many were abused as children, forced into sex work.
Prostitution is a direct link to sex trafficking – making prostitution legal creates MORE human trafficking – which they now have undeniable proof of.
Many countries have made prostitution legal, while other countries have made it illegal but still sell sex via entertainment – creating street hookers, violence, and other negative social impacts. The doors to America remain open for sex trafficking.
Furthermore, the divorce rate is over 85%.
Prostitutes do not “enjoy” their line of work – disassociating from what they do – separating personal life from work – over 75% remain “single” and “would never marry the men they service” – even though they program them to love them (some maintaining sex relations with “repeat customers for years”)
And the fact that they can’t fall in love or show signs – makes it more exciting to them
They walk in with their dicks hard and ballsack full – ready to shoot them their biggest load
These prostitutes don’t even like the line of work
Porn and prostitution is creating monsters in a soulless society
Women and children at home – suffer extreme abuse
Porn isn’t real – it’s fantasy football. It’s soap operas in the nude on repeat. Porn stars fucking themselves in the ass with a wine bottle for decades – then taking a drink
Same story over and over
And the men get hooked as CHILDREN – many get into porn and prostitution by their own fathers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They have brain rot! Their primal side of the brain is activated – hence all the crime!!!!!!!!!
It’s the devil!
They’re selling sex toys at the mall and Walmart, CVS, Walgreens, Dolls Kill, and many more! It’s not behind a curtain!!!
It’s a society of sickness
Our very foundation is built on a sin and lie
All so men can go to war in exotic lands and experience exotic women – while the wives are at home
It’s turned into a well-oiled beast
It’s demon vs human down here (likely opinion but I identify as Angel Baby)
They say in the press that “narcissism is rare” but it’s actually a plague
They say psychopaths “are born” but a “narcissist is made”
Yeah, and it starts in the Bible (narcissism is throughout), with porn and prostitution
Big government is to blame
“The sins of the father”
Apparently you will experience 3 deaths: one when you die, the second when you are buried, and third and finally, the last time your name is ever said.
I’ll probably wind back in “Misery” because there’s only one person I want to see me dead – or bury me.
So if I wind up in his yard half-alive, it won’t be long. I will likely be nude – like our dear Edgar, to keep with tradition
Don’t make fun of my emaciated frame
You don’t know what holes I crawled out to get here
I was reaching depth blackout – but I am slowly retreating – and repenting these days – I think that’s what the holes in the wall mean – repentance and awakening
God put me down here on this earth to judge you
Taking my freedom of speech – silencing me from atrocities – will not stop me from truthmonging
But I’m still a woman with needs unmet, with a private strip club, where the devil is kept (poetry)
LAUGHS
Apparently it’s not a good time to move but I feel I will die if I stay here (it’s not just a “feeling”, there are many red flags)
90% of all homicide happen by men (verifiable)
Since 1970 68% of all life has gone extinct (verifiable)
We are in a 6th mass extinction (verifiable) (over never ending porn, prostitution, sex trafficking over 6000 years)
The leaders running things serve Luci
Apparently I was right about the enemy in the White House because the females are upset the law was changed (mostly voted in by men) – that they cannot show their shoulders
LAUGHS
They kept fucking with the female Soldiers changing the regulations telling us how to wear our hair, nails, makeup. I got out.
It was already strict when I swore my life to “America and our way of life” – which has been completely destroyed by immigration
Had no idea the waters I was swimming in
I had no idea the seabed could drag you down due to gravity – and with the pressure of the ocean above – you sink quickly
They are turning Florida into Dubai – but FL is limestone – and sinking – so not a good idea
The floods, the condos collapsing, I ain’t all talk
You have to turn it off if you want to change
I know you think you want how you are – but I don’t buy it
You have to remove predictive programming
I never said it was easy
I’m done supporting toxic masculinity society
I just still have hope I might get through to someone – who might change for the better
As far as the hypocrisy of doing nude art, I’m not compromising my soul, I find it therapeutic, I’m not disassociating to make photography or poetry
At the moment I’m overcoming dying and a major illness – heart inflammation and depression
I’m barely working or putting out content unless you count my blog work – and WordPress says I’m on a 19 day streak or something
I’m also in the middle of getting rid of everything I own – either in an attempt to save my life or end it
The odds are set
I’m just awaiting the verdict
And if I’m gonna be “responsive or reactive”
Don’t judge me
That’s my job, that’s what God put me here to do (potentially)
In the court room: “because God ordered me to do it”
The only thing God should be ordering you to do, is “tender mercy” (tho I’m not obliged to be telling him what you outta do)
God can hear me cursing outside his church
I live in hell…
But it’s what men want…
catwinternational.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Ten-Reasons-for-NOT-Legalizing-Prostitution.pdf
Prostitution is a root cause of sex trafficking, but it’s what men want…
They want us living in fear, not just Black Lives Matter.
Yesterday I was having chest pains and no weed but today some birds moved in next to me and I got a nap
The sun is finally out 
Why Do Men Buy Sex? – Scientific American
They form attachments and bonds
— Read on www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-men-buy-sex-2012-10-23/
I’m no longer available as a girlfriend or a wife
Principalities and Powers
Demonic forces never stopped running through human affairs. We just stopped seeing them.
— Read on www.theamericanconservative.com/principalities-and-powers/
People like killing dogs and cats too. Facing my own issues with an animal; I find end-of-life services to be inhumane and Hitler regime.
Many just give up, shelter’s are full – animals will be sacrificed.
I’m not making this up. They are eager to take that money too.
One humane society charges more for you to “go back”. A significant amount more.
I’m autistic, “what do you mean “go back” and she explained – “to watch – to be with them” – “that cost more”.
And, an additional cost if you want a “box or urn”.
He’s had 3 end of life appointments made – one with his primary veterinarian, two with the humane society.
I called eventually a third time and stated, “I won’t be able to do this by appointment, I’m having a hard time letting go”
Because – I researched the chemical used to stop their heart – their bodies jerking around.
When someone ODs they go out peacefully and you can call it humane, but I disagree that End Of Life Services are anywhere but “humane” when their bodies are literally jerking around.
My grandmother let her dog “die naturally”.
Anyhoo – I’m against abortion and apparently against manmade animals from a lab getting sacrificed to the dark entity
My dog has a strong heartbeat and will to live. He may be a hellhound – but he’s my hellhound for “better or for worse”.
He may qualify for end-of-life services, and that may be the “easier” path for me – but it requires ending a life, stopping a heart. I do not comply.
And I’m so fucking depressed and suicidal that I would rather jump off a fucking bridge than figure out what to do with my dog, which means I’ve quit weed so that I can figure out what to do with my fucking dog because apparently this new age weed complicates PTSD (hear, hear) and causes suicidal ideation
Also, these drugs folks are doing, probably have code written in them, that’s why they see “the same thing”. 
Autistic doesn’t mean “dumb”.
Gullible sure. I know that they use art and cartoons to imprint on us.
NASA is extreme religiousness – they “the physicist” now are pushing “dark worlds” with “dark suns” and “dark planets” – made of “dark matter”.
It’s one extreme to the next – from walking on water to miracle pregnancies – to “dark worlds”.
They serve a dark entity.
Can I please have a tech free zone? Tech free state? 

Global study on homicide
About 90 per cent of all homicides recorded worldwide were committed by male perpetrators
— Read on www.unodc.org/unodc/en/data-and-analysis/global-study-on-homicide.html
90% of all murders happen by MEN
Porn activates the PRIMAL side of the BRAIN 🧠
Females go in heat too
Learn to control your urges
Clearly you can’t handle leading a double/triple life
Now we have documentation: Women earn less than men in the same job
Norwegian women earn 9 per cent less than men, even if they work in the same workplace, have the same occupation and the same job. Fifteen countries, including Norway, have been investigated in a large international study.
— Read on sciencenorway.no/economy-gender-and-society/now-we-have-documentation-women-earn-less-than-men-in-the-same-job/2120512
“Never catch up”
It’s narcissism. They don’t want us in the game when we come from “rib of man” – like they see us as sex objects only. Why would we get equal pay when we belong in the kitchen.
Men do not care about us and neither do the gays.
What distinguishes the men who buy sex from men who don’t?
Men who paid for sex were more often dissatisfied with their own sex lives.
— Read on sciencenorway.no/mens-health-sex-sexuality/what-distinguishes-the-men-who-buy-sex-from-men-who-dont/1821864
PORN
We could be teaching children healthy sexual habits and connections – instead of traumatizing them because of the BIG PORN industry.
We’re meant to bond and imprint young.
Not take your kids to the hooker and “not tell mom”
Why men use prostitutes | Sex work |
The reasons why many men pay for sex are revealed in the interviews that make up a major new piece of research
— Read on amp.theguardian.com/society/2010/jan/15/why-men-use-prostitutes
😑
“The sex was never, ever fun”
When a man pays you for sex, you will feel many things — but arousal will not be one of them
— Read on www.salon.com/2015/09/30/the_sex_was_never_ever_fun_my_lessons_in_prostitution/
They convince themselves we want it, “so it’s okay”. He got a hard-on just looking at a 14 year old from the street.
These aren’t men, they are monsters.
But I’m censored everywhere online for mentioning “men” or “monsters” and they don’t have to be in the same sentence.
But I am a sexual abuse survivor, so why is my voice being censored.
Because China have us right where they want us. Segregated while they take command.
And the prostitutes exchange no love – it’s only transactional but the big dream by the men is they fall in love and run off together. Gag me.
Most of them say “men are terrible lovers” and it’s clear the prostitutes do all the work
The prostitutes hear them complain about fighting about money at home life but yet they’re paying for sex (and probably other addictions thus the fights with spouses) 
It’s all narcissism and nihilism.
And if you’re a woman over 40 without a chechmark, are you okay!?!
‘I don’t come here for the conversation’
Why do ordinary, respectable men visit prostitutes? Jacquelynne Bailey spoke to customers at Australian brothels to find out. Her interviews provide a rare insight into how some men see not just sex, but women.
— Read on amp.theguardian.com/world/2002/apr/08/gender.uk
“It’s always better with a whore”
“Older, but not over 35…”
Mess (poetry & free speech)
I don’t like showing him pictures
When I know he’s into perfection
And I’m leaning a different direction
Part of his daily “mess” collection!?!
© Delia Ross. 2023 / @poeeternal
I suppose when they’re paying for it, in their mind, they believe they’re getting top-tier sex, huh?
File me under Dante’s 7th level
You should have a file system like Inception – 9 levels deep (put me level 7)
Lucky number 7
Not first, not last. Made top ten.
Maybe with a ⭐️ on the file folder
Locked
“The chosen one”
Oddly enough my lifeline was 7 – I’ve done this seven times!?!
I’m on 7 now
The Matrix twas 6 times
If love is the anomaly, and they all think they love the fucking fake porn stars, and the prostitutes… uggggg
My grandmother stated “you must have a tapeworm”
She wasn’t far off potentially
My horoscope read age 15: “leo’s suffer from feet and heart issues”
My best friend before she died of suicide age 13, “something bad will happen to the world in 2003” – she was distraught – it was 1993
She didn’t live long enough to see her prediction come true
We went to war in 2003, I was part of the initial push into Baghdad, as a combat medic during the start of the war (she was long dead but it still fucks with me)
She literally came to school freaking out saying that she had a bad dream and that “something bad was going to happen in the year 2003, but she didn’t know what”
She died by suicide maybe a month later
She was 13…
Several years later her mother also died by suicide and they are buried next to one another. Their bones got a coffin! ❤️
A coffin plus one of those metal boxes that goes over the coffin…
Her bones have a home for now… ❤️
The point tho – predictions coming true
How!?!
I crawled into them!?!?
Someone up there is looking out for me!?!
I think it’s possible I might actually be locked in a computer against my will somewhere
The government took my DNA, blood, hair, signature, pledges and swears before the flag, like I was sold an idea about the US and that training imprinted on me 🙂
Just like porn imprinted on you
I’m trying to stay alive – get fit enough – to go down in battle
Total warrior
Like I’m still a Soldier who holds rank
They may have changed the uniforms, but I was never stripped of mine
I know the enemy wants me and my comrades dead
I’ve already lost family and friends
And I don’t know how responsible I am for my other family members who never even listen to me because they’re so fucking demented and toxic
My sister is dead, age 45
My fucking parents are still alive – and I’m growing resentful and weary of it
Agent Smith didn’t like the stench of humanity and I feel the same of narcissists 
Every state should make sex offenders, lifelong. I wanna know who my fucking neighbors are.
And pedophiles say that they were born that way, they swear they were fucking born that way, so they can’t change, so it’s not like they’re going to be different in five or six years or 10 or 15 or 25, that’s just long enough for them to start fucking your grandchildren
They will have the best relationship with their own children just so they can fuck their grandchildren, and there are studies out there of this, it’s not hearsay
I also have a degree in psychology, so I study human nature
I swear pretty bird has started saying “thank u” instead of “pretty bird” lately – and normally soon after I’ve tossed out seeds n’ nuts
I swear it
“Thank u thank u thank u”
I don’t care about these abandoned cats tho – not natural to the environment – made in a fucking lab – carry disease – and are terrorizing the wildlife here
I will fuck a motherfucker up
And it’s extremely hard being an angel because I don’t know what I’m allowed to hurt, and what I’m allowed to not hurt
Fuck that demented cat, but it shouldn’t be my karma to call the pound on him
He didn’t even eat the tuna I put out
What a fat kunt
I like lions but hate “man’s best lab friend”
So the American Asians identify as a Chinese American, and probably wish to drop Americans all together once they fully take over our country – they value “Chinese culture” and are pushing their way of life on us here
I don’t recognize my own country
I come from a generation where we had to page people to communicate or go to their fucking door, and I’m kinda ready to go back to that sort of lifestyle…
I sold my TV
I don’t even want a smart phone
I want sex toys behind a black curtain because I don’t want to see it and I’m a fucking adult
I need food
But I stopped going to the grocery store buying anything and I’m trying to eat what I have in my house
When was it acceptable to blow your horn in the parking lot for someone to come down?
What is this trend of people turning their fucking cars off at the red light?
I’m done with society
They want a 15% tip for ringing you up and they can’t even get your order right or smile
I don’t want to do any of this anymore
If I wanted to live in Asia I’d fucking move there
I do not have yellow fever
And I will never support another Asian franchise in America ever again or buy anything from China, India, or Mexico
“You’re racist”
Correction: I’m homicidal
If you’re gonna accuse me of something, make sure you get it right
Homicidal is the new suicidal and we don’t fucking talk about it these days 🙂
Happy to help
Remember heal and save
Sharpen your blades (they will invade at night, at rest, they will not follow GENEVA)
I’d really like to show God what sort of warrior I am and it’s not getting gutted it in the street
And this is like minority report now, they will fucking commit you for saying something
I’m still on the good side of god (I fight and live for God) – this establishment worldwide needs to END and be dismantled and destroyed
The entire reason they do these wars is just so they can have their fucking prostitutes in different countries…
It’s mostly military and white men apparently (according to studies)
An entire nation lost
They are also making the animals suffer and it has to stop
What the fuck are they doing to these gators at the amusement parks? Selling teeth? I have some. As a reminder – of how fucked up immigration ruined my country – turning everything into a Sims theme park – creating depression – addiction – addicts – monsters – lost souls
The doctors and nurses are criminals
I still have my medical background that the enemy didn’t account for
“No one will listen to her”
“Censor her”
Me: sells TV, stops supporting society
And I spend time in the sun now without sunblock, and I don’t get burned
I absolutely can be taken down by the elements very quickly though, the cold, the heat, I have a heart condition
Thanks to the government and my gullibility
RIP John Jones
P.S. your rugs are dirty
Study Finds Men Want Love With Prostitutes
Are Men Looking For Love With Prostitutes?
— Read on www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/08/13/relationships-men-fall-in-love-with-prostitutes_n_1772680.html
It’s all been conditioning – these men have been buying sex since children
And now children can see and buy sex toys – toys aren’t behind a black curtain….
The Devil’s society…
Give it time, LGBT will have an orgy in the street.
Porn has ruined man
They fall in love with an idea – and the porn industry repeats the same story throughout years – with all sex workers.
They need the girls in the pictures so much that they use “commoners” as fleshlights
“No one knows why” – ahem bullshite it’s porn
Porn segregates us from unity, imprinting
Well – these boys are exposed to porn at a very young age and it imprints on them.
And image is important to them – gaslighting – so the Church offers a safe haven for these demons – who want us paying for their housing and meals.
They disassociate when they use porn so it’s like they become a completely different person and that’s why there’s no remorse when they do the shit that they do to you
They have an addiction created by the enemy to break up the traditional family value home – all while the immigrants take throne during “yellow fever”
Suicide is a top leading cause of death worldwide
Porn is the gateway drug to ruin
It could be easily censored like they do my free-speech
All the little commoners who get on onlyfans, they just use us up like they do in the real world 
Most anyway
OnlyFans say most users loose out – it’s only the top folks with value (society is the Titanic)
They steal money from users too
And as much as I love blogging, I don’t want to continue paying the enemy
Pay to play
I’d rather die than give the state another penny
And I can’t even visit Orlando without having to pay four tolls to return and they aren’t cheap anymore 
It’s the same fucking county, but I have to pay to return to the city I’m registered to live in.
Florida is gone
Overrun with evil and immigration
I mean immigrants get here and naturalize faster than we can even procreate or vote 
Native Americans were doing just fine here until my bloodline was nearly wiped out by the fucking immigrants that you say bring so much greatness to our country
I fantasize about dying by suicide in terrible and terrifying ways
I know you’re a nihilist and do not care what happens to me…
”To be seen and not heard” while man destroys everything
But as long as we are making him a meal and doing everything for him
While he jerks off to the pretty women prostitutes
And by telling a man not to fall in love with you, they probably absolutely fucking do fall in love with these prostitutes (not commoners)
Because even the guys without any teeth, think they deserve a ten star 
And I’ve never been rated a 10 or treated with any value
Lots of marriage proposals though 
Fleshlights….

Life Expectancy in the U.S. Dropped for the Second Year in a Row in 2021
National Center for Health Statistics
— Read on www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/nchs_press_releases/2022/20220831.htm
“Non-Hispanic white people in the United States had the second biggest decline in life expectancy”
VS
Asians: “slight decline“
WHITE LIVES DON’T MATTER
Inflation Experiences for Lower and Higher Income Households : Spotlight on Statistics: U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics
This Spotlight presents consumer price indexes for groups of households at the lowest and highest end of the income distribution for urban households to examine how different spending patterns can change measures of inflation.
— Read on www.bls.gov/spotlight/2022/inflation-experiences-for-lower-and-higher-income-households/home.htm
It’s gentrification and narcissism and those in power set the inflation rates.
They are the reason the rent keeps going up.
They weren’t hurting or remorseful when we were suffering. They were spending money on travel, entertainment, phones and cars. We were trying to pay rent and eat.
They’re amused by our suffering.
A 10% difference is a lot when the majority can’t eat while the rest are at play and having fun. Killing the world is fun!!! We’re kings!
I’m done. With everything. I no longer support society. I am withdrawing from everything. It does not serve God or the natural way.
This is so sad. We only get this one life. Our nation was crippled by immigrants who are not crippled.
Those at the top are the immigrants!
Charts show immigration have our best jobs
In 2019, there were 28.4 million foreign-born people in the U.S. labor force, comprising 17.4 percent of the total.
— Read on www.bls.gov/opub/ted/2020/foreign-born-workers-made-up-17-point-4-percent-of-labor-force-in-2019.htm
I know what it says but look at the chart – immigrants have overtaken 3 of those categories and are quickly nearing the other 2 categories of work filled
And, according to the color, Florida is absolutely gone (same as California and New York – all owned by immigrants)
THEY HAVE ALL OUR BEST JOBS
