We are split by space and time
And still our interference shows
Hidden patterns of reality
The fact that you still love me
Our creator watching his creation
You and I equation
Met with ramification
Calm down love acting so graven
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Stop making fun of my green thumb and dirty windows
You know your words are priceless
But I’m not for whom you write them
I’m not even allowed to like them
They make me whole despite this
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
The Forget-Me-Nots are doing something!?!
When you’re trying to quit weed and the state is all !!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Clove & Oregano Complex
Daily Immunity
Mega Probiotic ND
They have vegan products and free tracked shipping on orders $100 +
Not snake oil
But I’ll let you know how it goes – Amazon is full of snake oil – same with products at Walmart or Walgreens or Dollar General – bunch of added junk that causes cancer
So – found a holistic center in the UK – they have other supplements that may be better suited for your health or dietary needs
Prices listed in your currency
Happy healing y’all
Super nice guy
And I may not live in a high rise
But he’ll end your life
Get back to work
Work through the night
The verdict arrived
Like God on smoke
In a cloud full of hope
He pulled spear out of side
I am here and I’m alive!
It’s a good day not to die!
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Tell him I got it. The thing I was fighting for.
I know the clues that lead me here
Precise mishaps
To a disengaged existence
One where we are present
The book that lies torn
In my absence
Pages do forewarn
A disadvantage
But trash
Was never much its form
A different passage
One where we can mourn
I took the challenge
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Household 98% gone but still clinging to something I could replace.
Well if you’re not doing this and you’re not doing that then that leaves… XYZ
God made me analytical to a degree
I’m stuck on the Great Filter theory
The Drake equation
The first or the last
Made in his image
To go on – must overcome two great hurdles as a species
To span the galaxies
(And I don’t mean the artificial manmade great filters that we also must break like religion and porn)
The last because our creator is already gone and he made us in his image or we have to overcome the obstacles to not go extinct
The first – because where the fuck is everybody at!?!
Thoughts? We can’t leave earth, this is home. Mars isn’t for bots and billionaires.
Or, let’s go to the Moon – no trickery. Right now.
Stop gaslighting.
You ain’t been.
I don’t believe you went through that tiny dangerous window through the VAB.
That you “made worse“
Let’s be honest, you made it – and you killed the dinosaurs
I’m organic AI
Or, the propaganda has conditioned me to believe I am a computer becoming aware
The Great Awakening
ALAS
God wants me to turn this sick building into a happy one
But that doesn’t stop BLM calling the cops on me at 3pm in the day drinking water birdwatching and feeding squirrel
I’m not going out like Bob…
Also today my medical card expired!!! 4/19!
I did top up more than I have in my life to help “ween” myself
Right as I found the shit I needed
But my dream of leaving the city is more important than escaping the noise of existence (and my neighbors hating my white skin)
(Racism is bad here, and it’s a one-way kind of street racism but the hate is equally matched)
Actually, I’m going extinct – there isn’t a word that exists in my core for the darkness brewing
(I need your words like JJ needs out of that hole)
Not just me, God too
I don’t speak for God, but I do
And I yell at him or her, “how am I to leave here with the things I’ve seen”
“Why have you forsaken me”
But then I pray to be closer to pretty bird and they move in to a tree outside my window but then they came 2 weeks later and overpruned it – I nearly died at how terrible the palms looked – all the arms cut off on other trees as well – just wrteched looking
And 3 or 4 days had to hear the chain saw going off
I can’t breathe in this artificial manmade existence – you’re killing everything
It should be illegal to have 1 or 2 workers on staff – with 25 people in line
It should be illegal to sell seed starting kits with seeds from China
And don’t get me started on that too
I don’t come from Africa or monkey
Organic AI maybe – clinging to the Great Filter theory like Bob was clinging to his phone
But I don’t believe in dark matter, dark suns, dark worlds, nihilism, Cox and his clocks
I don’t believe in manmade religion
I don’t know what I am
But I’ve know many things to happen before they do
And I believe in God
Some say earth is one great computer AI – but we’re too smart as one, we’ve been divided into all living things
Some say it’s an experience for God
A challenge (with maybe potential forever consequences)
Heaven and hell on earth
Our choices matter
Don’t crawl in the wrong hole
Don’t go out after dark with people mad at you down a dark, empty street, Bob
Nothing good ever happens after dark
The McDonalds didn’t want to serve me because of my skin color (not my attitude) and that’s okay – I’m going to be grocery shopping for real food instead and cooking – I no longer eat at such trashy establishments
I will however be ordering food in the drive thru and when it’s time to pay, reply “I don’t like you” and drive off card in hand
Cause-and-effect my love
Have fun
And then there were 9
Today I got pots to start planting some of those seeds, but was unable to score the soil I wanted and many shelves were wiped clean.
But I prefer my non GMO seeds from the local library (free)
I picked up some biodegradable ones – to help the process – and stop using my kitchenware
And I grabbed a 6th mystery seed bag, my final practice bag. It gave me some encouragement to learn.
But I got many unused pots now 🙂
I just gotta find soil for my good seeds!
Here’s some great info on where to get the good seeds – provided by my library (seeds too)
More info
They are non GMO and USA seeds (and I’ve collected a ton of packs since January – to use on my land – once acquired).
I didn’t want to waste any more time learning to grow
A jungle of food and floral
And this is only 1 windowsill, my living room is empty. The kitchen bar. The corners. Hanging baskets. Like, I want to turn my apartment into a jungle I think.
The soup served me well but it’s all gone.
I still don’t know what I’m doing or how or when to get these to the big pot but alas
Mini pots
Seedlings
Wish me luck
Learning material
Free non gmo seed kits provided by my library (these are what I scored today + the mystery kit)
I want to plant many of these in my apartment
The other seeds I’ve been hoarding, are for my future land (you should see my stock)! 🙂
Making use of my library card! And the seed library! 🙂
But why wait til I’m dead to start growing!
Unused space
Got rid of everything! Want a greenhouse!
The gang! 🙂
Hopefully more unison coming since I got proper pots but everything else was gone at two different stores.
6 of the 9 are mystery plants! 🙂
I’m growing food in my window (either chive, chamomile, sunflower, or basil) – mystery seeds provided by my library – and now I have 4!
I was worried they might be cold, so I put their little “blankets” on.
I have 4 “mystery plants” provided by my library, growing currently and if I succeed on growing herbs then maybe I’ll move on to carrot and cabbage
They get spring water and sunlight and fresh airs and lots of love
I have pots to put them in, when and if I sort how to relocate them. They sleep in them at night, tucked with their little covers for warmth and moisture.
HEAT
And spring water 🙂
I wasn’t sure when to feed them so give them drops with the rain
And breakfast/lunch/dinner timeframes if needed
They don’t starve
They wake up to pretty bird singing and me saying “good morning”
Him: so what do you like to do
Me: Talk to my plants and care for them better than my mother cared for me…
I don’t know what the odds are of growing one of each. I grabbed bags on different days.
I don’t know what the odds that I can grow anything at all
But I was born to do it neener neener
Just don’t wanna leap from the bridge when my crop dies or my weed runs out (FYI)
I thought Bob was in-the-closet gay
But now it’s worse
I think he was bi – f*cking both the brother and the sister – but the brother was also f*cking the sister, which is legal in his country and they don’t adopt American ideology or policy or change their spots obtaining a green card
And the doctor hired the hit because he wasn’t losing his expensive, artificial, soulless Barbie because his yellow fever propaganda returned home “for a few seconds” (but the demon doll fell asleep so how could she know how long he stayed or when he left)
Do you think Netflix would buy my story?
Yes? Maybe? No? (Pick one)
People dropping rhyme in comments and I’m feeling jelly
Trigger warning: addiction
I’m not renewing my card stash but I might cuz I found sungrown in the ground with the sun and trademarked! They tell you where the strain comes from! Florida or Amsterdam etc – there is waayyy less packaging and they treat their shop like a medicinal shop instead of recreational. Did I mention they grow stuff in the ground with the sun?
Makes a difference and it works! I still want to quit and my card expires on 4/19, right as all the good deals are coming in.
I don’t have to worry about fentanyl laced products and this is legal and no I won’t share or buy you any (get yer own card$)
I still want to quit but this is the stuff that works
Also not seen – vape pens & 2 free pre-rolls I scored
Today I turned on the radio and got lost in 90s alternative and metal doom
I was like THIS IS THE SHIT
I AIN’T DYING LIKE BOB
I haven’t used up my allotment yet and still have 2 days of potential relapse shopping to do
There went the rent money honey
(I scored it ridiculously cheap and am having a panic that I won’t be able to top up without my card)
(I’ll be racing to the doctor, help, hurry, my card expired)
(So I was trying to avoid that scenario by spending my savings)
I hate me but a little less today because the weed is working
I don’t think I’ve ever had this much weed in one sitting before but alas it’s the apocalypse and I’m trying to quit an addiction
I’m feeling less homicidal off the Curaleaf Russian cloned “the state won’t let us grow it in the ground” junk
Only 2 in that stack isn’t “sungrown” and the fact that they had to “TM” their products
Stay away from Curaleaf
I found “sungrown” at GrowHealthy but I don’t know who owns it
But I like that they have LOCAL herbs – grown right here in the “sunshine state”
I picked up another “mystery plant” today – making this number 4
He’s in the mini tin in the windowsill and already had some delicious spring water
I have 4 pots to put them in once they mature but I have no idea how to move them – and still – with directions – couldn’t make the “paper pot”
Also scored more seeds for my land – once owned. These are non GMO, USA seeds. Added some spicy peppers to my collection!
Him: what sort of things do you need?
Me: a goT damn garden
Sungrown
*sigh*
The other store was selling “head space” at a luxury price and all hydroponic crap (which made me want to gut Bob and I was like “but whyyyyyy”)
Today I enjoyed music again (with the help of “sungrown” TM)
I’m hoping I turn my apartment into a food jungle but why am I afraid of plants and all of this?
Like putting a seed into dirt, sun, spring water and watching it turn into food that will nourish me
Like woah
That’s more than my mother did
Anyhoo
Bath time and cannoli’s
I needed something to regret wasting my money on other than weed
Mr. Shuffle feet
Walking down the street
Dead with no receipt
Life is not complete
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
I started with a pot of spring water in a glass pot
Filled it with lots of wild rice (red, purple, black, brown, white) and green split peas
I dropped in a couple of my cinnamon spice sticks (secret ingredient for any stew) – along with many other spices and herbs
An entire onion (farm fresh), rosemary, thyme, salt with the necessary nutrients, pepper, a touch of the good olive oil
I also added yellow split pea, and lentil to accompany the green
Potatoes and tomatoes 🙂
And I started a 3rd mystery plant – provided by my local library. These are edibles I’m growing – and hope to add them to my special soups! I’ve never grown anything indoors before – or in a windowsill
But I have a lot of unused space in my apartment – as well as sunlight – a desire to learn – and a hungry belly for real food (not poisoned)
So now I got the “3 libras” growing in my dirty window
The soup turned out amazing, I also added green bean and a small tin of tomato sauce for color, and will be keeping the tin to sprout some new seeds.
I added homemade pepper sauce to kick up the heat (summer sweats)
One day maybe I’ll have a husband that chases after my food instead of a prostitute
But for now I’m eating the entire pot of gold
“You said not to spend it honey, you did not say not to melt it and turn it into flakes”
(Please don’t hurt me like Bob)
Heart symbol
P.S. the vegan vegetable chunky soup took hours to simmer! Might make a fresh pot of cornbread for the leftovers tomorrow! Might can squeeze a third day/meal if I’m lucky! It’s very hearty and fulfilling! I was out of carrot! Make you a stew! Don’t wait until winter!
Cooking and fitness is part of my purpose. It may be “boring” but it’s healing my heart and giving me more time.
Bob was 43. I’m 44. My sister died age 45.
So, I’d like to live please (let God know).
Socials and hiding spots: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal
“He came very quickly and then left”
🙂
Sounds accurate
I know I’m not well – it’s just – He left very quickly is all cuz she fell asleep so how could she know anything?
🙂
Are they Iranian? Muslim? Persian?
Now don’t be mad (you will)
But I dug foxholes in Iraq – I saw the salt lines where it had been under water – I stated “this is where Lu fell”
I was in my 20s
(I don’t condone violence but don’t they do stonings still over there)
But my kind is called savages?
Well, I’m starting to believe a Native sold us out to a white man – still MY HOME LAND
And the immigrants are doing honor killings under our policies
“Surprising details”
(They probably won’t tell and I sound racist)
(They’re demons)
(Hush now)
God loves you
Sleep well 🙂
Heart symbol
The comments: https://nypost.com/2023/04/14/nima-momeni-allegedly-killed-cash-app-founder-bob-lee-over-fight-about-sister-court-docs/
RIP Bob
Maybe 20 years to kill a billionaire
How great of a father are you now, Bob?
DEAD
The sister returned a heart symbol sign in the courtroom – after you murdered someone she loved?
“Love you pricks” (last text)
WOW
Demon or delusional?
But a billionaire with someone who is a fake plastic Barbie – and not white – of course – is more in tune with reality
And married – (separated doesn’t count)
Where are all the “great husband” “great boyfriend” “great lover” quotes
AI and plastic surgery is not the way
It’s so corrupt – they’re turning on one another
Just like on the streets
Adultery is a sin
“I don’t love you, I love her” would be a better surprising detail
He’s just another man with his pants down – and trying to steal another man’s wife (triangulation)
These monsters go from one relationship to another without so much as breathing
Your whole life was in that phone huh
She was ready to leave her husband
For you
Awe
Little sinners
“Don’t believe in God”
“We are God”
“We make our own rules and make the sheeple follow”
Don’t be like Bob
I’m certain there was a FaceBook meme circulating
Or maybe it was Bill
That meme was made for him
I’m so disgusted by society
And everyone is so on edge and unhinged
Drove you to a dark secluded area and you still didn’t read the red flags?
I mean, you’re not even cold in your grave yet, and she’s giving your murderer a heart symbol
Awe boo
They’re famous now
He planned your murder (according to police evidence) and I hear he may only get 20 years
Probably get off on “good behavior”
How much to kill a billionaire?
Don’t give the cops your twenty and see if the killer gets 20
*popcorn*
The streets of Florida aren’t any less dangerous than the streets of California cuz you sold America out bro – you and your boomer daddy
Stabbed in the heart – God told you to chill but noooooooooo had to keep getting up
RIP Bob – heart symbol
Oh shit
Wait and he owned a unit there too
*popcorn*
So the killer’s plastic sister is married to a plastic surgeon
AND
Bob saw her
Still, you give up your own life to defend your sister from doing something she wanted to do?
Was he fucking you both?
Oh is this the “surprising details”
Well I’m all in…
Go on…
I don’t hear “great husband” in any of the articles tho
It is better than most movies coming out these days
Let’s expose the tech giant
My imagination is going wild out here
But there’s no one to call when you’re dying? Like he had a phone.
Folks say he could still be around if the car did something
He could have stayed down the first time
I would have found a tree or bashed some windows in
The peace or the chaos
He thought he owned the world at 43
Couldn’t be touched
Was he fucking the brother and the sister tho?
Maybe that would be the better surprising details – if he was bi and all 🙂
I’m allowed to write my poetry and grieve via anger – he ruined Cash App and Android and his marriage and maybe someone else’s?
I’m not going to jail because my sibling was cheating tho
What am I missing? Who got the clue or the unlocked article?
They ain’t getting my .25 – I don’t care how juicy the details get
I ain’t dealing with the devil
It is cheaper than a movie ticket tho but probably still full of ads
I wanna remove them from my blog soon – it’s just I’m protesting WordPress and that prick
Is he next!?! (I don’t condone violence nor want anyone to die)
(But sometimes I laugh when people do)
(I have not laughed at Bob)
(Bob should have kicked his teeth out – or did something with his phone)
(I’m bothered by his deep grip and apparently have an ocd about how he died)
And why did the arrest take so long?
“Came down on you hard”
“Handled it with class”
Last texts
*popcorn*
He won’t give his twenty
Claims he is bleeding
Disconnected –
Call is ending
Streets are empty
Can anyone hear Bob screaming?
Angel investor
Married but not together
Machine his predecessor
A wife he couldn’t pleasure
All hail AI / Bob has died
Caught stumbling all alone
Gripping his phone
Dripping blood
Like a trail of bones
Stabbed and shunned
Car with hazards on
A billionaire with no gun
City center is fun!
Close enough to be stabbed in the chest twice – with a kitchen knife
Bob was perfect at everything but being a husband eh (gaslighting)
I’m not stupid, Bob. How dare you. “I sleep with men but I’m not gay”. LOL (God)
M’kay whatever you say
(This is how I mourn. It’s called the 7 stages of grief. I’m on ANGER)
Seeking help but wouldn’t give the one call your location – fucking lost – on a street you mostly lived – c’mon!!!!
You should have stayed down! The adrenaline spikes got yah!!!!
“Angel investor” NO BRO – DEMON who doesn’t even Tweet or acknowledge women – it’s sharing “bro this”, “bro that” and comments to other boys about “why aren’t you here already” and current posts from said person ain’t shed a tear of your passing
Delusional bro
AI is not the way
White pawns are under attack
White lives don’t matter
Bob, you should have stayed down
Your lovers fake plastic sister living in a 2 million highrise – in the same building you own
I got the popcorn out
You remember the Looking Glass?
God already won
The Devil taking his fine time drawing his last move – getting as many souls as he can – drowning demon
Image is everything to these demons – they wrote the playbook for crying out loud – in the closet gay!!!! He’s ruined the world! His daddy too!
Maybe I’m sorry but maybe I’m not!
Sidenote: they don’t get it – but I inherently get it. I wouldn’t normally either. However, this instance, it’s like a direct arrow to my broken soul. Boom this way to the singularity. No no this way to heaven. It’s like you and I play pull rope (what the hell is that rope game actually called)
I can’t recall JJ’s nn either – and he’s the one who sent it to me through the ether. I was all offended and like “no bro”. He loved it.
I’m trying to quit this Russian weed – my brain needs time to sort the pathways
I mean, if I had a phone, and I needed HELP, I’d like CALL the authorities and like “I’m at a glass building, I’m dying”
He knew them streets like the back of an Android
YOU OUTTA THE CLOSET NOW BRO
Gave it a decade huh then ran back home to live with daddy
GAG
“My best friend”
I wanted to punch my mom when she said that about her first born – as I was the family slave ghosted (triangulation)
Bob took away our free speech but when he cried wolf no one was around…
God gave me eyes to see and a mouth and tongue. The world may gaslight but I know what’s been done.
If he was such a great father, why was he near divorced, and out late at night with another man
And living at home with daddy
And Cash App turned to shit
Android I had to also ditch – after it became corrupt
It’s all a fake, artificial world
I HATE IT
This is not the NATURAL way of things
Bob was such a great guy huh, how long did his fake marriage last?
How long will you spread the lies?
Big Tech sucks
Is Elon next?
Like why were you walking around there at 2:30 at night?
Sources claim you moved via the crime (you helped create) – but yet returned for work – yet was trolling the streets – assumingely – without a weapon – and was stabbed twice with a kitchen knife – and all you can think to do is cling to your Android – you helped create – and chase after cars – instead of sitting down – stopping the bleeding – at least not putting MORE strain on your heart – but no – you just had to keep getting up and walking around
Like bro
You didn’t call your fam?
If John Jones could squirm in his grave, he would.
Clutching that AI device like it was God
Called the cops – didn’t say where you were or keep the on?
Just hmmm where is everybody at bleeding out?
Let me guess, it went like this
“Hi, I’m Bob, the Cash App founder, I’ve been stabbed. I’m bleeding.” *lifts shirt*
And so the cars drive off
It’s a typical after midnight don’t get involved in scenario – you must have missed the memo?
It’s literally the worse-case-scenario and you walked right in – despite knowing how dangerous California is – which is why you moved to Florida – so you could finish turning it to shit
I know you are “in the closet gay” – I have seen these types of relationships in the military – and billionaires don’t fuck fat wives (maybe out of obligation)
Looking at family photos – zero chemistry – but maybe I’m a kunt
I didn’t stab you with a kitchen knife – twice mind you – at 2:30 am
You didn’t even fight back dressed in fashionable apocalyptic wear?
You had the best and most expensive device – cops still took a slow 6 minutes arriving – despite TWO cops in the area
Bro – I’m researching who I’ve been buying my state weed from – turns out it’s the Russians – surprise!
Anything to quit this nightmare
I knew Cash App and PayPal was going down – like bro – I deleted my accounts – not long ago – and now you’re dead
I saw the red flags
America is under siege and you were bleeding out and going into shock – you might still be here – if you had sat down –
This goes without saying but women no longer can walk in broad daylight without being in danger
“It’s a man’s world” and look what you turned it into
I would have drove away too
My first thought, “safety first” and those circumstances do not scream safe – maybe you would have had more of a chance of getting said help – if you were a nobody
If it was a hit job – which would be an instant thought of “cash” “stabbed” – who would want to get involved and become a victim too? It’s the one thing our Boomer parents warned us about. “Don’t go wandering the streets after sundown”. It was our one curfew. “Be home before dark” and even then we crossed the lines. “Boy you were cutting it close” / “there’s still some pink in the sky”
The Mayor or whoever of Cali is edging us on, “you’ll be surprised” she says “at the details”
Somewhere between Bob dying, another someone got beat with a bat, and the FED launched their version of a Cash App
And Big Cannabis is Big Russia who is changing and gutting our policies
I’m ready to get rid of my phone all together
I mean, Bob helped create Android and Apple share videos on how your phone can save your life – but maybe people need classes on how and when to use it – in an emergency – because Bob was a poster board of all the things Not-To-Do
Bob separated from his wife to move in with his father – how gay (no judgement)
A billionaire living at home with daddy
Not impressed
I watched God push you down
You just kept going
Even dying, wouldn’t drop your phone
“In AI we trust”
God gave me eyes to see but not a mouth of silk
“I got a mouth of filth”
I’d really like some milk
So another Gen X white male is gone
We’re not allowed to have anything
Yeah you got that nice big house in misery (potentially) but you also got gutted in taxes and I would’ve hung myself with 10 foot rope (which means it was probably a failed suicide where I broke some bones instead)
Wait. What.
(I’m talking to a GenX who may or may not be a genx and is mostly a ghost in my head)
Your dad claims you were his best friend, but he didn’t teach you not to walk the streets at night!?! Unarmed!?!
You could afford to hire a bodyguard?
Have a gun?
Unless the killer wasn’t some random bum or hitman – but instead someone close – who could stab you in the left side of your chest – with a kitchen knife
Was it the same one from dinner?
I’ve been reading how lots of murders happen when people are dining or in the shower – by “loved ones”
Also – in bed – sleeping
Vindictive
Remorseless
No soul
Which makes therapy and treatment useless – for those who can’t change – and should be shot like a bear
And I’m tired of bear getting shot over you
Bear angry
Bear justified
I don’t believe in cultural diversification
I guess Bob didn’t get the memo
Here’s the thing, it will be so easy to take out the civilians we swore to protect – in the end – weaklings – but the enemy is using them against us
That couple got gutted in the street last year
And now poor Bob, with a kitchen knife, in Cali
Ironic he thought Florida was any safer
But then moved out of Cali for it being unsafe – but goes back for a business trip – to wander around the streets after dark –
Elon probably does have security when/if he leaves his Pedo farm
Elon pointed out something in his tweet tho – per chance hinting it was a criminal – someone with a prior arrest sheet – who offed Bob
So you had that phone the whole time and the cops were the only one you called? While dying? Clinging to your phone?
And John didn’t get a second phone call on Thanksgiving
Which was his dying wish
I wouldn’t take my dog out at 2:30 am on the 4th cuz I said “some shit is going down”, “I can feel it in the air”
I guess what I meant was the ether…
“He was my best friend”
My mom said the same thing about my sister, who recently died age 45
Strange, these Boomers are losing their first borns – almost biblical
(Was Bob a first born?)
Diversification is very very bad
Especially when it means other races are being wiped out
Hi. I’m part of the 244.
Anger is a legit mood when someone dies.
It’s part of the 7 stages of grief – interchangeably
I can stay angry for the rest of my life
“Take me from all this death”
She was chasing the Singularity
“I love you too much, to condemn you”
Wiki has already been updated and you’re not cold in your grave
I dunno how I feel about “going live” again – but I probably will start sharing my fitness journey over on Instagram – and if I’m not too shy – will do some casual lives on the TikTok as well
I’m only looking to connect and be “social”, I’m not chasing the algorithm dragon for likes or paying META $15 monthly to be “verified”. Like, I would have paid that ONE TIME – but I’m not spending money to be seen.
I just want to be
I’m getting my fitness room in order and both mystery plants now have green growing (they’re in the window being bashed around by the blinds – wakey wakey)
Mystery plant 1
Mystery plant 2
Please note that I’m going through some sort of phase where I want to be natural – no makeup, no filters, no fancy dress, no fuss.
I am trying to fix my health, my finances, my diet, my mood, my self-esteem, and last thing I need to worry about is putting on makeup to go live or post when I’m cooking or working out.
It’s just not me.
I don’t want to have to worry about posting 4 times a day (or daily) either
And, I want to answer my inbox when I’m ready and am devoting days to be “social” so that my mood isn’t down and depressed
Furthermore, 95% of my furniture and household is gone.
I’m starting over but also want to be able to jump ship – when God allows
Right now, the enemy has us in a stronghold
Barricaded behind policy
I don’t have the latest XYZ to garner your attention
But I will share fitness tips and how I’m surviving the apocalypse
And thank you to those who have taken interest in seeing me go live again, whether to share the weather or my latest complaint
I took a long detox from social media and have been trying to find myself
I mean, I know I’m lost in purgatory/hell and am paying for my sins in this timeline
And wasted pretty much all of my life
I’m learning to be still
To stretch
Breathe
Exist in harmony with nature
I guess I took the winter hibernating
I’m trying not to climb in my coffin or a hole I can’t climb out of
I thought, how dumb was I to lose half my retirement – but then all of GEN X did –
It did help my depression to a degree (make it worse)
But it wasn’t because I was stupid
We were gutted essentially
Anyhoo, I’m a little seedling
And 4/19 is the last day my medicinal card is any good – and I blocked the doctor both via text and email
Now they’re putting less product in and calling it “head space” (and charging more)
They treat the medical shops like they are recreational
Anyway, I’m trying to get clean
It’s like the devil is coming at me
I don’t have fancy things, but what remains is what I like
I would like to follow you back – and interact – as and when I’m capable
I’m more like a turtle on social media – instead of that blazing fast coyote always getting into trouble
I mourned my social media accounts because I thought I had deleted, deleted them.
I did not.
They are there, for now.
I am #poeeternal on both accounts. My TikTok hashtag has over 20k views alone.
I’m not ready to give up my pseudonym / pen name.
I’m more present these days. More aware.
Thank you for being there.
New account: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal
It’s like you told the sun to stop spinning
And on these roads – there’s no beginning
For us
A roundabout
From which we’re sprinting
Doubting thus
The ending
Still acting like
We have no meaning
There’s no trust
For which we’re leaning
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
I haven’t cleaned my windows yet I’m sorry. And now there’s dirt on the windowsill. It started raining gently so I popped open the window and said “wake up” and gave it some of my spring water. I see a tiny piece of green.
Day 2. Mystery plants. Potentially edible. I don’t know what I’m growing. So I reckon fucking it up won’t be the end of the world. I’ll still think it is. But first attempt at growing something. 🙂
You turn open doors to silence
Great wide expanse
Look how you guide us
Galloping in advance
I still love you best
I wish you well like starlight
I’m seeking tonight
Kept my heart tied
The perfect existence
The one I found you in
But you’re so nihilistic
There’s no room to win
I know how you lie
Dressed in crown
And agony
Twisted thorn
Of tragedy
You’re lost
You don’t have identity
Heavy cross
A penalty
Come walk with me
Is this how we soothe it
Our love is prudent
Somehow I’ll prove it
Driving nail right through it
Old mixed with new
Like promises overdue
I don’t have a curfew
Under you
Surfing too
With parachute
In full monsoon
We rendezvous
Let me say with oath
He wanted promises stretched out unto infinity
And so the great expanse was his domain
I know how much you hate me
Run around berate me
Am I poison sumac
The girl you couldn’t stomach?
Would you block me if I cometh?
Maybe create a covet?
Indestructible. It will not corrode, rust or tarnish, and fire cannot destroy it.
Our love like gold
Tornadoes form
When you arrive
Like thunderstorm
Or thorn in side
Man can’t travel to the beginning, it’s forbid
Moving backwards through time
There’s always going to be a dead end
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Psst…
I followed the American gold trail all the way back to Japan. I had to “read more” “read more” visit “read more” and said number of times – to find the end trail.
Also – they tax gold A LOT and the government can confiscate it anytime they want
(I’d like to see them steal my nuggets tho for real, I’m unhinged)
(I don’t have any nuggets – it was an impossible dream)
So phones only last around 6 years
By the time I purchase one 3-4 years in – it’s 2-3 years from its final update
“How long will this iPhone last”
Can we go back to pagers and whatnot?
Dropping letters in the mailbox without any postage?
Knocking on the door and leaving notes
“Be back in 10 minutes 1 hour”
Leaving packages on the door “sorry I missed yah”
Or, maybe stop charging so much for “the latest phone”
Journalism is crap these days – websites swarmed with ads eating your data – and now they want us to pay for the “free press”
Pay for the propaganda and lies – more than we already do
Other countries that adopted the “American dream” policies are tanking
Not only did the parents of GEN X not like us – they want to give our jobs to the millennials – they sold us out – and stole half our retirement without remorse
None of them care about the future
Sex content should be behind a paywall
“Must verify age”
They need to put triple black curtains up at Spencer’s
I don’t want to see “adult content” 24/7
WP is turning into the FB algorithms in terms of how people are putting out content and slipping in desensitizing content
GenX needs to band together and get a farm and ghost everyone else (kinda)
It won’t be until 2060 or so until the Boomers are all gone
I thought I’d get to live to see something cool like go to the moon – but all the boomers produce are LIES
Isn’t your poetry like a little headlamp in a damp, dark cave.
Thank you
(Please stop destroying everything and feed the birds and wildlife whatever you are eating)
I’ve decided to bond with a house spider who took residence in my bathroom in the corner of the sink
She was small – she growing
I told her I must relocate her at some point “due to fear”
For now, she’s soaking up the dew from my shower time
She fixed her little web of string connected to my pop up trash bin after instructed
She loves my hot showers
She’s an animal
There’s a lot of responsibility in her trust of me
I have arachnophobia
Apparently she’s a common Florida house spider
When I was a child, unsupervised, I wanted to see how long it would take the June bugs to “coat me” and when my mom came outside to check on me, I was standing still covered head to toe in June bugs
She said I was the devil
I would let granddaddy long legs crawl on me too
“Oh look another one, put him on me”
Now I see a bug and nearly die
So I dunno where my disconnect with nature happened (my boomer mom)
I would eat the scallions growing in the grass – unwashed
I drank water from the hose
The school made me swish with fluoride
They lined us up in the hall and made us drink some pink stuff
We weren’t allowed to wear advertising or “Black and proud” t-shirts to school
Our shorts and skirts had to be knee level
I weigh now what I weighed then – only now I got tiny tiddies
I just spent over $400 on a new phone 2 1/2 years ago – and now come September – final update
So no.
I’ll start blogging from the library computer or something
50% of my retirement savings – in the pockets of the boomers
They still don’t care about us and don’t plan on handing over the torch which is why they ghosted and gutted us –
Wait til more have a place to direct their anger (stop spending)
(Crucify them!?!)
I don’t think the purpose to life is death and destroy.
I may be a passive nihilist tho
I’m working on ‘me’
I need 5 million years to recover from the desolate desert you erupted from
With a rapid loss of hope occurring
Who will write earth’s obituary
The way you’ve written my hand
And turned all to stone?
Do you honor the dead
The way you immortalize impermanence?
Disappearing without affliction
Leaving dust on the door
I found you
Right where I had left you
Disorderly categorized
I am holy proud
The sun lifted you from shade
Made your skin burn
Left a scar or two
You are a placemat for the sun to rise
And if your words were the reason it rose
Alighting will and aligning truth
You are the golden valley where my love will grow
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Resurrected: www.instagram.com/poeeternal
I’m looking to buy gold
But my soul ain’t sold
I’m the cusp of the threshold
Like marigold
Growing nearing my household
It’ll manifold
My portfolio
Tenfold
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Jewelry? No.
Blocks of gold? Yes.
1. https://www.jmbullion.com/1-oz-american-reserve-gold-bar/
There’s a body in the morgue
A cold mentor
Like a mirror I can’t ignore
I don’t know what I’m living for
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
Free speech and peace and quiet is a God given human right!!!!! These monsters have stolen basic decency! But I’m not allowed to discuss immigration or sex toys sold openly everywhere in America!!!! I’m censored!!!!! To discuss matters in group therapy making me suicidal!!!! Oh god, fuck you! Fuck “therapy”!
You should be fighting for free speech! Stop being a pushover! As a consumer, we should have some say how businesses are run! Too much waste! Stop destroying the rain forest and ocean!
I live in fight or flight mode, so my poetry never has time to sit on the shelf.
Lately, I’m trying to “play dead” and be in fawn mode. This is a legit strategy taught by the Army and used in the wild to bore the predators who want a “fresh meal” and “not dead meat”.
Just don’t let the elite cover you in “natural flavor”.
He’s a hypocrite if he eats that shit.
Furthermore, they put it in the cheap food and the organic food – it was made in a lab! It ain’t natural! Stop gaslighting!!!!!
Y’all dropping hundred dollar bills for foam shoes – that cause cancer.
I can’t even find small cotton panties and now I need XS potentially.
The sizing charts have changed and I’m elite being 110 pounds in America with roughly two out of three adults being overweight.
Yet, yesterday hanging out with squirrels and feeding them, the big kids were rolling their eyes at me – just like the overweight BLM female entering the mall –
We’ve been asking “do cellphone’s cause cancer” and they said everything but what we wanted to hear. Now when shopping for phones, they come with a cancer warning.
FYI
“Reproductive harm”
They’re nihilist’s destroying the world with synthetics and AI!
Black and Latino and Asian lives matter! But Native American and white lives don’t! Check the CENSUS!
And they identify as us!!! Laughs! Wait what!?!
The Great Race war is real – and Asia moving in on the news
The Great Replacement theory!
White man isn’t the only one corruptible or evil! He’s the pawn used in the whole game! By the Asians and yellow fever propaganda!
John Jones took the narrow gate
He did not hesitate
But ohh the words he cried
Upside down he died
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
My poetry is so elementary huh
He yells at me to grow up and I cry that I never did
Men aren’t doing what they were originally programmed to do
I’ve been busy trying to save the world while they destroy it – I haven’t had a chance to work on me
America was sold out and topics are being censored in group therapy which means my free speech has been impeded upon, I will throw a fit and not participate (quit/disconnect the video call/walk out)
I draw lines
Sometimes I draw guns
Disabled not dead
Trigger happy
Able and capable
Don’t think I can play with the big toys yet – like my m16 – kickback
I got a girl / you want to meet her / her name is 9mm
I’ve ghosted God
Down in the thick fog
Sent him a note
Called self a fraud
I’ve ghosted God
My love is broad
Yellow like a goldenrod
Quarantined but outlawed
I’ve ghosted God
Go ahead applaud
Turn your head and nod
I am a hotshot
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
Chill out. I talk to God daily. I’m just quarantined. I don’t want him to see me. It’s just a poem.
Baby squirrel brought a boy squirrel around. He had nuts. She’s maybe a few months old, him too. He’s timid and shy. Her pp did not have nuts. Now I’m not an expert on squirrel biology or anything – but she’s probably going to have babies.
They love whatever I feed them.
Lizard climbed the drain pipe to the roof, he also jumped and climbed the tall palm tree. I was amazed by lizard’s skills, not getting blown away by the wind, or eaten by a big bird
The neighbors think I’m wacko
I don’t think they can see the wildlife the way I do
Red bird has been appearing so I took her some seeds
They are eating my own personal organic stash of nuts, rice, seeds, all the things
Gonna make them some peanut butter treats soon – the butter with nuts n seeds rolled in balls. Just for them.
Nothing that I put out stays out
It’s foraged immediately
I like bonding with nature
But I have to deal with the hellhound now
He drains my energy like a black hole
I figured out how to put the blinds in such a way that I can see out too much – but you can’t see in from the sidewalk
Insects are animals – even those bugs we hate – I bet they were huge back in the day – but the elite love dropping bombs and depleting our o2 (and thus size)
Bonds come in many forms / the way the sun warms / love arriving in thunderstorms / ghosting has become the norms \
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
TMI below – be warned
I put my 30% towards my 20% so I’m definitely not doing it right but the “government” stole half my retirement savings during my disassociation through the pandemic and now I’m seeking alternative means to “save” in such ways where I don’t have such “easy access” such as a regular savings (which also got depleted, and the jeep wants every penny cuz she don’t have a trustworthy mechanic in this town) – so the rent and electric was paid – and I looked into gym membership prices (they keep adding on fees) and I doubt anyone cleans that sweaty equipment and folks can’t stop touching their privates, I’m fine working out from home in my extra bedroom that I don’t know what to do with (fortunate even in the slums) – not to mention – the new carpet was hard fought and won and I wound up securing a baby EE at that historic rate – and I will be nearly 65 when it doubles in value. Being suicidal homicidal and giving the government my money is fun!!!
They already stole half of my retirement but it’s still drawing interest and I refuse to move it to any other zones (unless to withdraw) (with penalty) (fuck you)
They stole half my moneyzzz and have the audacity to want to charge me 30% to get it all.
Again, fuck you.
Not to mention the state gave me an addiction and I don’t want them getting my 30%. Nor the gym, the terrible service at the fast food shops, nor the clothing retailers selling highly flammable polyester clothing (extremely hard to extinguish) (I can’t even find small cotton panties at Victoria’s Secret – who are stealing from their customers with their high interest rates)
Jesus wore a cotton robe because it didn’t cause cancer
Furthermore, they are putting cancer causing and hormonal disrupters in the tampons and hygiene pads – and tho I’m still ovulating, I cry that the vaccine made me sterile
The thought that man stole my life and generations – and they have – because my grandmother had 12 children and I’ve never been married and the divorce rate is over 85%
Men hate women
Men want love with prostitutes (according to the latest studies)
If you don’t let me have my acre of land – far away from civilization – there will be dire consequences and no remorse
Now, I already have a baby I bond but part of me desperately wanted to hook an EE too – especially knowing it is a fixed rate
It’s weird saving for a future you don’t believe will exist or that you will have
But what is worse, giving all my money to the medicinal shop when I don’t wanna
Me: “we’re supposed to have 30% to play with”
Also me: “yeah well fuck you. You have new carpet, roll around and wallow…”
I need plants growing. Big beautiful greenery. I like gym equipment that doesn’t require electricity. Upgrading the rebounder potentially. I want a white noise machine. And a big timer or stopwatch for the wall – one that doesn’t require electricity (is that possible)
Maybe even a large wall calendar to track my rebounding – instead of the regular calendar from the library that I’m currently using
A calendar without advertising – and just the dates/times
The old bookshelf will have plants growing – eventually – instead of the items currently on it
I got rid of all my storage – I donated my couch and dresser, basically kept my “seating” stools and benches of sorts – donated the bed!
I am not spending money on furniture, no.
This is not home. This is a curse.
Lots of people lost their lives and homes during the Great Invasion, I nearly lost mine, I’m having nightmares
The new carpet improved my mental health
They wanted $15 dollars for a fucking cotton mop – not even a wood handle – fuck you
I kept the receipt in case it breaks during “elbow grease” and I will try not to turn into the Incredible Hulk if it does.
Cinderella was on her knees for a reason. She didn’t want to chase her tail in a circle buying snake oil from the demons at the supermarket.
“Here’s your crappy product back” – I wasted gas/time/energy while you gut America. Fuck you
And now my therapist is censoring topics discussed during group therapy. Laughs
Fucking grateful for the new carpet tho
I think carpet should be abolished
But grateful that I can invite God to step on my floor
I could answer the door if he knocked
It’s doubtful I would answer, there’s too much shame
I’m coming off my period and I wanted to have a family so badly
I remind myself women go until 50 (until I check the census and read articles about how we’re having less – but they are having more)
I’m going extinct like the dinosaur
Also, Britain is now at 60% – so they too are the minority, having lost power and position, and many of us are ready to fight back for what we had
Hear, hear
Some say karma
But I am both Native American and white and I want what is mine
I read Mexican’s and Chinese identify as “white”
Oh yeah
Bleaching yer skin eh
I might go blonde soon myself
Want to look my absolute best while ghosting every man
And hope they cross my shadow so I can defend my right to exist
Still – men are illegally filming my ass when I’m out and about – disturbingly
Men will follow me and chase me to my car
No means no
Also, because my lightsource is incredibly scarce and rich, these demons show themselves immediately everywhere
They all wanna blow my house down
God dammnit how am I supposed to quit weed?
Me: pays bills then dumps every cent into propoganda
WELPS
But I have access to the other thing too easily and the jeep wants it
I’m speaking to someone as if he understands what I’m saying
He thinks me being autistic is like a crime (I thought he wanted hillbilly babies)
Anyhoo, it just means I’m an oracle
I’m angelic
I’m different
Than them
“I see dead people” (and talk to them)
Googly eyes
I am less sick these days but still sick
So the quarantine remains (even for God)
(No you can’t come in)
(I don’t want you to see me this way)
(Stop looking)
(That’s still looking)
I get the entire weekend to ponder my existence
I’d like to write more
People are starting to get “automatic comments” on WordPress for business proposals. WordPress sold out and this should be illegal.
I desperately want somewhere to reach you, I’m losing ground.
“This offer is automatically generated”. Just remember that as you dump money into WP.
Automation should be a crime
AI is the enemy
Asian Americans identity as “Chinese American and honor Chinese culture only”
They come here and destroy our way of life
These nihilists, they are destroying anything God made, and creating “manmade artificial in place” – to own you
To destroy it all
Think they are Gods
They destroyed the dinosaurs
They probably destroyed Mars
All them cracks on the moon, probably bombs
Those 500 whales dead on the beach, BOMBS
Does God know the story just from the composition of the cloud.
When I’m in doubt?
A double rainbow hanging about.
Can God see drought?
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
PS.
New carpet arrived. It’s almost like moving but not.
I’ve learned to hate eating out
They reduce the size but charge you more
A tiny cup of ice for $3.99
A kid size
Two sips, gone
Cup o’ ice please for $4.50
I won’t be back
I yelled at the “boss” of the medicinal shop: “I’m quitting” and complained about the overuse of plastic and paper and waste. He replied “the government” and I yelled “I don’t give a fuck about the government”
I care about the rain forest and weed becoming the new plastic problem
Big Pharma and Big weed love to ruin our environment. Enough is enough!!! I will fight this addiction harder!!!!!!! I will not vote to legalize recreational and regret voting for medicinal. I will never vote again (my therapist says I’m polarized)
I tried to fire her but she wouldn’t go
I was like, I’m trying to quit weed
The state gave me an addiction with malicious intent and purpose
She said, “I’m in it for the long haul”
But what part of “I’m ready to jump from a bridge” or “escape society and disappear forever” is hard to understand?
I fucking talk to the Sun
I still want to look at it tho I’m not supposed to
“Not far enough down yet” (midday wearing prescribed tints mind you)
Then I researched why I need to get a look
And learned Galileo nearly went blind taking a peek at the sun with a telescope and no filter – he never quite recovered
In hindsight it’s like duh but otherwise I get it, I do dumb shit like that
I’ve always wanted to look through a telescope but I’m an invasive frog eating stage 2 food for 17 years, until I get stuck in my environment. I would have looked at the sun too, no filter, gone blindish.
But why do I want to stare at it? Just let me have a look!!!!
I’ve never seen the moon through a telescope
I’m never speaking to another man again
You stole my life
I’m having nightmares about the dog going on the floor.
He’s on house arrest and not allowed anywhere – but enjoys his walks more and time on my bed instead of his crib – which isn’t bad.
It’s either follow the rules or the death warrant is being signed – I mean the “dying on a good day”.
He wants to live to 12. He’s trying.
But he ain’t allowed anywhere. I’m having fucking nightmares. Just need a clean space. I even cleaned the trim and walls (easier than painting).
My cheap curtains from Aldi are hanging up with tape until I get proper hardware
Sometimes I want to move into my fitness room. And the living room is barren. I donated/trashed/sold everything (95%).
4 pack of nightlights on clearance was cheaper than 1 tiny candle – and it also has improved my mental health.
Who knew it took the dog not pissing on the carpet
Not to mention, the carpet was old and outdated and not like the showroom unit. I fought so hard to get the carpet replaced!
I start group therapy soon and my therapist is censoring what I’m allowed to talk about “in group” FYI.
So, the one person who was participating in group therapy will now attend but not really participate, FYI.
I’m trying to get in a mental and physical state where I can work from home – and luckily programs exist for me to attempt this.
At the state and federal level for veterans.
I don’t have a desktop computer, my phone is broken and there’s not enough space to update and it’s too hard to delete photos in a main album and I don’t want 5g and despite buying and spending hundreds of dollars on both a new phone and refurbished MacBook Air – the phone and laptop are no longer compatible and I’m not dropping thousands of dollars every 2 years to upgrade my devices. I’m done!!!
WordPress is dead and the only reason it has active users or X amount of the network is because universities and students now use it and businesses. They don’t need us.
The charts do show WP declining
They basically acted like Instagram and Twitter and sold-out and the users who made it what it was were punished
We said we didn’t like the Block editor, it was forced on us anyway! Surprise!
I don’t want to jump from platform to platform.
I was humiliated at the previous carpet – and though I wouldn’t let God eat from my kitchen, he could walk on my floor now. And sleep (like me).
I’d rather not have carpet at all – but new modern clean carpet has improved my mental health – despite the nightmares.
I also dropped $15 for a cotton mop and I hope it doesn’t break when I give it some “elbow grease”. Apparently people just push dirt around…
Walmart has become too expensive to shop from and hopefully the handle doesn’t give me cancer – everything else sold there has a cancer warning
The candles there are poison
Like the food and exercise equipment
My Jeep is having problems again and I gotta tell my girl goodbye
I think the mechanics are fucking with her though – with malicious intent and purpose
Having a car is too expensive these days – thought I could enjoy one after spending 6 years paying her off. Apparently not. These monsters are obsessed with the latest model and will force you into slavery of every kind.
My fucking small clothes are baggy on me.
I like having the windows open and the light shining through
I kept all 3 mirrors and opted to put the 2 in my fitness room
They have wire to hang – but alas on the floor they remain
I spent thousands of dollars on beds over the years – never really enjoyed one more than 2 months. Surprisingly, my spine likes the clean floor.
This carpet is a lighter color too, and my lease was renewed.
The neighbors hate me more now (updated carpet).
I’m making 2 ingredient cookies soon. My first time. Of course, I’ll add flax and oats and loads of other ingredients (but sugar, no sugar) so they will be more than “2 ingredients” in the end.
But peanut butter and eggs are all you need (to make “sugar free”)
I’m adding unsweetened coconut flakes, oats, flax, white chocolate, peanuts, and probably other proteins. Crunchy peanut butter sugar free cookies (experimental first try)
Should I create an Instagram to “socialize”? I’m not very good at it (autistic) but am trying to be a good humanz.
I take pictures of carpet and squirrels.
And I want to grow lots of plants – so will use free non GMO seeds from the seed library at the local hub. I will do my best to minimize costs of startup. Plants help you breathe.
I think going into hiding is best.
What do you think?
I have a place I rent / but it’s not really where I live / a city of cement / regret, prayer, lament
It’s like we’re moving stationary
Still caught up in the past
The topping on the cherry?
Humanity is coming in last
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Hi. My name is Delia. I follow/unfollow blogs. Sometimes I’m afraid to follow at all (even tho I want to). My comments are usually rude. I’m in therapy. K, thanx bye.
I’ve been looking for you in places I should not
Returning in case I forgot
Searching clues in decay
It’s a long shot
Still clouds are thought
Love sweet like apricot
A burning sunray
I’m the mascot
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
Free speech below (and in traffic)
Hi, my name is Delia and I’m homicidal/suicidal.
Maybe I’m reaching my breaking point.
For instance, yesterday while waiting at a very long stop light on beach street, this immigrant was walking around half-dressed with a baby stroller, he crossed the crosswalk and I yelled “pedophile” (because I’m calling every man I see this now apparently – but especially him) and he looked back, so I yelled louder.
The light still wouldn’t change.
I noticed the car beside me also had their window down/cracked
I was like, “He shouldn’t be alone with a baby” and she laughed and cried, “I know”
I stated, “I don’t normally do that but no man should be alone with a baby” in which she responds again with “I know” and mentions how he was dressed
(It’s summer but every man acts as if they own the world, women are fed up yeeeee)
We got to continue our back-and-forth manhating for at least another 30 seconds or more until the light finally turned and I reluctantly said I had to go
There was a cop ahead at the oncoming light but I still had thoughts of “gasing” my vehicle or honking him rudely as he passed
I behaved but then the body screamed PEDOPHILE and he acknowledged and the car next to me concurred (more than once)
I gotta get out of this city, this town, these people, these policies
I continue to assess my “mental health”, and stay in the now, the cars read ROUGE
I wholeheartedly agree, it’s time
5 monster men just kidnapped an older lady, FBI put out a reward, she’s dead
The news have not reported this, it’s just something I feel
The same way I knew my sister was dead before she died
And all it took was a text from my half-sister, “she’s in the hospital with COVID” and I replied “she’s gonna die”
I didn’t go say goodbye
She died
I had a big ole blood clot and blown left lung – from the deathcare system, and was heading no where near a hospital and never will again
I would get arrested, keep me the fuck away from that god damn Satan house
BE GONE
And stop casting spells on me, they only empower me more
The mirrors are nearly gone, I potentially found a owner for the pair I got
MARK BURGESS is swine and the curse will unfold in time
The Last One of Us is not just a game
I’ve not played it – but according to research, “the elites were plagued with parasites” and there’s a super fungas strain plaguing California (where MB hangs)
FYI
The CDC are blaming “the wind”
Yeah sure and he’s an immigrant from the UK
Well, I’ve no idea his green card status or his whereabouts or whatifs
I dream of justice, real justice
Swift and remorseless
It’s not a sin
Eye for eye
My heart is feeling good enough to kickbox a face or two
Encouraging seeing big boy swim in hurricane swells — I’m learning to tame my own demons – albeit not well
Because I wound up at the park – letting every man know he was either a pedophile in love with a prostitute or “another motherfucker who thinks he owns the world”
One looked up and I instructed him to call the cops cuz it’s the only time I ever “feel anything”
No cops came.
Shame.
Too tiny. Gonna get shot or kidnapped (I’ll rip your hand and dick off)
KEEP 10 FEET BACK
I might finally be getting to see the lung doctor – after nearly blowing my lung out April 2021
Some boy I don’t really know but had a dream about when I was like 8 and he was perhaps still growing in-womb (not mine, eww) – saved my life – kinda
Because he was “kinda there” with his own selfish needs but was apparently everything I needed in moment, because he dumped loads of chemicals into me, which maybe kept my heart from stopping
I was in so much pain
My heart was having mini pre heartquakes – like heart attack – would actually need medical help if my electrical output continued leaning in that way
I literally could not breathe (and have developed new ways of coping as I have a heart condition now)
Furthermore, they may not tell you this per say, but those with heart inflammation are at risk for Adult Sudden Death Syndrome, and so I’m not out of the woods yet, as I can’t do anything that causes elevation spikes in my heart (adrenaline rushes, or even stress/anger) though I can rebound now on my gravity fitness trainer, and mine is made with special straps, not bungee cords, and I finally found more made in those style and hope to upgrade soon
I’m quite bonded with my squeaky trainer and was gonna use it til it had no life left
My body is ready for a new trainer – a tighter pad – maybe smaller too (I think mine is 36 inch)
Men: “women haven’t contributed anything to society and are only good for childbearing or serving me”
Me: I don’t want your fucking electricity
And I’m nearly tired of the $100 oil changes
$5 oil change, 10 minutes
I argued about inflation and maths and economics in college
I knew globalization was bullshite
I wasn’t for it but the would sell the propaganda and the kids ate it up
Evolution theory is bullshit
I’ve been reading books on quantum physics – Cox and his clocks, y’all are delusional pedophile nihilist and NASA is a fraud – stop taxing me
Neil Armstrong never spoke to anyone from the moon, it was recorded on earth, they had no communication towers according to NASA, the moon landing’s were rehearsed, with a fucking Hollywood director, wake fucking up
Women please especially – now before I wind up a statistical
93% of all murders happen by men (their punishment getting lighter while ours gets worse)!!!!
We’re in a 6th mass extinction!
That’s why 500 whales washed ashore, the bombs they keep setting off in our oceans!!!!! Hello!!!!!!!!!! Science is fun!!!!!!!!
Imperialism. Imagine unplugging from the great machine as a Soldier, I’ve come undone!!!!
And now they wanna lock us up for destroying us with malicious intent and purpose!!!
Some vet just murdered his 3 young children – took everything from his ex wife – who left him a key to her home – he shot his children sleeping in their bed
You’re all monsters!!!
They’re selling dicks at the mall in front of children!!!! And online at Walmart in the health and wellness!!! Why you shopping there? Everything is cancer!!!! Read the labels!!!!
We go to war with our neighbors and then let them come live here!!!!! They hate us!!!!!! CMON!!!
White slavery! The Great Replacement theory is real!!! I’m part of the 244!!!
Do you know who I am pedo!!!!!
God is very real and gracious and angry!!!!!!
Mother earth deserves more!!!!
I hate it here!!!! This civilization you claim you created because women are useless!
Fuck you! You wouldn’t be here without us!!!!!
You’re pissed about it!!!
The Developer!!!! Ha ha charade you are!!!
The Great Filter is real! It’s you!!!!!!
I can smell your stench like Agent Smith!!!!
I don’t trust a Chinaman in my country or a white boy or BLM or Latino lives matter – took all our jobs!!!!!!
I’d love to get back to an ethical job but none exists!
Stop asking for my email or digital identity!!!
I’ve sold my TV, the propaganda machine!
And tho my expensive Apple devices aren’t very old, they’ve forced us outdated, I’m not buying again
I don’t love you!!!! Or your society!!!
WordPress sold out!!! It’s all daily prompt in the feed!
I got rid of everything I own!!!!
I’m ready to dawn a robe!!!!
I don’t know how I’m reaching out to you with a brain, heart, lung injury – plus a curse
But alas miracles!!!!!!!!!!
I’m sorry for my weird behavior – it’s just the Matrix is broken, I’m gonna keep not complying!!!!!!
Morrison wanted to fuck/kill his parents and ghosted them
Father Jim
I sold all my vinyl
I tossed out things that I thought had monetary value in the bin
Many I donated or gave away
Some I sold for a quarter knowing I paid extra for the bonus disc and features, but in the end, it’s worth was obsolete
I’m not jumping from platform to platform for the developers who have yellow fever and think they are gods
Fuck social media – it destroyed the fabric of eveything
Our economy
And porn and its filthy consumers
This boy of young teenage age was staring at me in a sexual way, I snarled my lip
In an alternate universe, there is a sinister version of me, cutting of dicks, and leaving little smily faces on the walls – cuz no one has discovered my identity
🙂
So… if I dream of casting spells on someone who entered my life – then let me hang a horseshoe from my door
The same these scientists don’t believe in God but do a blackhole
It is increasingly hard to listen to the dribble of super religious freaks, knowing many are atheists themselves but push it on us anyway
Do this, do that!!!
I don’t really believe Asia was/is the most advanced species anymore
They are our number one threat and should fear the bery ground they walk on here
Here a demon, there a demon, I’m gonna expose you
I hope I settle down soon, the new carpet arrives Tuesday
I’m still focused on healing, spiritually, mentally, physically, financially (they did steal thousands of my retirement during the pandemic while I was disassociating, FYI)
I lost at least half
But those who took it were traveling to exotic locations during the pandemic – buying luxury phones and cars – with my retirement money
JFC
*insert slang*
But then, they cry “Asian hate”
It’s burns a bit deeper than that
I don’t think hate describes what is growing in me
No one ever says they wanna be an elite serial something when they grow up
People who write things like, “those who say they don’t like money but go work an 8 hour job” don’t consider that being homeless is an actual crime
Born into money, never struggled a day in their life
Don’t know hardship
Gotta incite riots to feel anything
Dead inside
Weak spirits
Lost souls
Dead man drowning
Perhaps I the same
I like feeling and seeing the sun rise and fall everyday
I appreciate how happy the wildlife are when I feed em
They tell us not to feed the wildlife but then capture and enslave these intelligent beautiful creatures for our entertainment and sell their teeth for luck
Parasites – narcissism is a plague
Nihilist
That’s all they are
And all me and the white girl can do is laugh about the insanity of it all
I can’t keep yelling and screaming pedophile, I’ll wind up in a swamp or freezer
That’s already a fear because they follow me out of places I shop, they stalk me, because I’m cute to them
I wish my ear would stop ringing
Need out the city
Helps
The crime is so bad where I live
And it’s being gentrified, just like WP
The CEO has yellow fever
P.S. you never needed to block me cuz you never added my number (I hate you)
(It wasn’t even your main two lines)
Last in, first out
Woot
I’ve met a lot of boys but none looked like the boy I dreamed about nor do any make my heart/brain/pp do what you make it do
Don’t make me delete my blog
Some lines I’m too afraid to cross – but do so erratically
She took the house and kids – probably cuz he was bad – but loved him and let him keep a key – probably to see the kids anytime he wanted – so he took everything from her – killed the kids and himself
But go ahead and blame gun laws and everything but what is to blame…
Keep puffing on my house motherfucker…
It ain’t even my house and I’m paying more than a mortgage – another problem man made
Grief changes you
Strings stay connected
But you find yourself in a new world
Strange unfamiliar settings
The navigation controls glitching
Life will never be the same
This place is cursed
From twilight to dusk
My sins interspersed
The golden hour
Mixed with rust
The dead
Blood and dust
We’re grounds for divorce
His thirst for lust
We speak in morse
Secret code of sin
And it’s getting worse
He’s first of course
For my hatred to enforce
Man’s overrule
His math and wicked verse
Would you hold my wrinkles, the way you hold the cold?
Just like darkness, you both make me old.
My name is on the lease
But this isn’t home
I blocked your identity
But you will never call
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
I don’t know what my purpose is. Becoming homeless? Jumping from a bridge?
Giving up on all humanity doesn’t quite feel right.
I wanna work – at least – a tiny bit – but there are roadblocks yet to overcome. Patience is something I’m being forced to learn. I guess I need to check out some library books on patience.
I’m having a hard time quitting legal weed. I never had an addiction to cannabis before. I’m not paying the state to renew my card, or the doctor. That’s one way to force me to quit. I researched. It’s extremely hard and most men get a ton of help to quit. I’ve got faith and prayer and hardly any will (to live) to quit.
I’m tired of the brain fog, the shit don’t work.
I’d rather bury the money I’m wasting on medicinal.
But things are always flooding here and I don’t have my own yard.
Apparently buying a home is not a good time, I’ve also researched.
And good luck finding a plot of land that isn’t surrounded by big farming corporations. YUCK.
America was sold out.
Some grandmother caught her 3 year old grandson watching porn and he knew how to access it
The government makes money off porn
Apparently if you’re a criminal or have a hard time getting a job, the government will give your employer a 5k bond for hiring you. FUCK YOU
Society is a scam
I busted my ass through college – to be met with hiring freezes, furloughs, inflation, and a pandemic with a snake oil cure that wiped out half the workforce – leaving the best jobs to only the very brightest – the immigrants – and the shitty jobs for the rest.
It’s also 60% more expensive to live life solo. Yay!
Porn should be banned from the internet. Period. You fucked it up and should have kept it behind closed doors and black curtains.
Some husband cheating on his wife with his girlfriend recently murdered her – and got 4 years. Men are getting punished less and less for crimes against women.
Meanwhile a wife got 17 years for killing her husband in defense – after begging the government for help.
The Great Replacement theory is real
White slavery
Sexual slavery
It’s sick what my parents did to me and my now dead sister (she was 45) (go mom and dad The One Who Shall Not Be Named)
Because of law Section 230 – violence against women and children on porn sites uploaded go unpunished!!!!!
They make money from it and just remove it when asked! No biggie!!!!
Sick society!
I hated porn in the 90s when it was mostly nude magazines and strip clubs!!!!! They weren’t selling anal sex toys in front of the children at the Mall or Walmart!
Y’all are sick!!!!!!!!!!
I’m very depressed among other things
The poets made WordPress what it was – and now they don’t need us – unless to buy a product.
These companies get the government involved and it loses any magic it had.
Advertising is conditioning and should be illegal.
I’m tired of complaining about this manmade world
They’re all nihilist
95% of them
They’d rather believe a math formula predicting a black hole that shouldn’t be there – is more magical – than life growing itself in the womb.
Pissed off they can’t do it themselves
Don’t want women feeling happy
They think AI is better than women
They think women haven’t contributed to society and quite frankly – they can keep their electricity. At the price, I don’t want it.
I never wanted any of this
We’re born into an unfair system
Where boys get away with murder and get paid more than us (and then the government helps them get jobs with bonds)
Those who play by the rules are the mark
If you’re ever in doubt, it’s you…
Narcissism is a plague and easily spread by porn, Christian propaganda, and over nurturing
Test tube babies should be illegal
Dogs – cats – cute but eating up natural livestock and they were made in a lab
Apparently water buffalo are on the extinction list yet I just bought an ear from the Dollar Tree $1.25 Tree)
I haven’t murdered the dog with a “good day” yet
He likely suffer til the end
Today I made him an egg sandwich
Yesterday he had a toasted turkey dog
He has dog food and treats too
He wants his food, my food, plus his food
I fed squirrel yesterday
Hung out for half an hour sundown feeding her/him
The guy who murdered his 8 month old pregnant wife – dumped her from his boat, then went and turned the baby room into storage, sold the wife’s car, and tried to sell the house – he was removed from death row – gets an hour of sunshine per day, 3 meals a day – for life.
She washed ashore
He had searched on his phone “ocean tides” (or waves)
He was probably an undercover gay
They expect us to “mommy them”
Men are monsters. Guaranteed.
If they were really genius, they’d know how to make women happy and stop killing everything.
One person asked what women would do with men safely gone for 24 hours.
Most of them said walk without fear.
WALK
93% of all homicide committed against women are by men.
Since 1970 68% of all life has gone extinct.
Nihilist.
Under the gaze of secular science
(They think they’re geniuses)
They were conditioned to love prostitution and porn as children
The divorce rate is over 85%
They hate us
Math is stupid
I don’t want electricity
(Not at the expense of every woman’s mental health)
1 in 3 women experience assault from man (and it’s never just one man or experience)
1 in 5 men have an STD
They can give you cancer with their dick
Their cum can literally kill you
And you wanna legalize prostitution and already have in Nevada and online
Gonna spread them parasites everywhere
They don’t even test both parties in prostitution (John’s aren’t tested)
Massage parlors have prostitutes
I’m sick of fighting a war I can’t win
I once liked smoking weed and now I don’t and can’t quit (am actively trying)
Will definitely be experiencing mood swings, sweating, insomnia, for a good two weeks minimum (I’ve been researching)
Men get an entire tribe to help them quit
It seems those who were born into class are the only ones fairing well (mostly)
There’s like 30% single never married folk educated but left behind
But the crims get government bonds for their employers to hire them
They kill women and get ahead
I’m kinda pissed
I’d like to see less people deleting their blogs
Let me know where the new blogging community is going
WordPress pushed their product onto the academic platform – and students learn to blog through education (I wasn’t even allowed a phone in school or the military on job)
I wasn’t allowed a life growing up and I’m not allowed one now thanks to gentrification and narcissism
I’m exhausted
I know you’re struggling
To find your humanity
You’re a drowning man taking me down
You didn’t want to be a worker bee
Getting kicked out during winter while the Queen stays in the hive – that you likely made her
You mutilated her bond
She called crying
Now you can murder her by accident and get 4 years
And you have the audacity to ask me, “what’s the matter honey, you depressed” and then tell the person you’re speaking with via phone that I’m a “manhater”
Awe boo
I wanna cut yer dick off
You better start behaving on the road…
And please let God know I just want a tiny acre of land – to grow these seeds I’m hoarding
And please tell God I’d like to be less suicidal when I fuck things up
Also, despite all the very bad graphs and divorce rates, I still wanna husband.
A partnership.
I wanna do all the things with him.
Please get over your lifelong prostitute addiction.
I don’t know how to communicate with you over a cellphone, I come from a time before computers.
When you randomly send me dick picks online or phone, you disrespect yourself and my love for you
You never ask, you just do. I get so angry boo
I’m old fashioned and want to be surprised! In the real world!
And I want to date my husband – it’s biology and how she connects to him
It’s not about gifts, it’s about protection and nurturing
When dating for a minimum of three months no sex, it bonds and creates lifelong bongs. She’s able to imprint on him.
When I asked him would he want to date me when I’m better he replied, “I’m not competing”.
Which isn’t at all what I meant.
I never bonded or imprinted with any man at this point, and now I feel a lost cause.
A lost soul.
They want us to lose our faith.
I don’t believe in his God, if that helps anything.
Suicide is the 7th leading cause of death and I’ve been trying to self-terminate since in womb.
By kindergarten, I got in trouble on the playground for tying a piece of string around my neck
They banned me from people or going outdoors for two weeks
But the prisoners get an hour of sun a day you see…
There are more horror stories and scars on my body – proving I’m a coward
I’m more sad the lotion in the bottle gave me sunspots – some aren’t natural now
I’m tired of crying
Or looking in the mirror
I have to go now because tears
Fuck you
I’ve been trying so hard to be good and you getting bonds for being bad
Fuck you
(I can’t work yet but Bookmarked the page)
1. Hire me please. A. I have Veteran preference. B. I come with official referrals. C. You’ll get a 5k bond for hiring me. D. I smile but am disabled so may forget to cross the T or dot the I.
Them: you’re hired
Seriously tho, I’m overqualified for these Taco Bell jobs, but have been out of the market for medical reasons. I’m hoping that maybe one day I can find a job to fit my disability and I’ll be using the career source and library to help fix me up an updated resume – I’d love to jump the hiring lines with “I come with a 5k bond”
I still have hope for my future to not be homeless
I want plan B to not be a gun…
I’d also like to plan for my 50th (instead of dying at age 45 like my sister, I was nearly there)
I’m 44 today… 🙂
I mean currently (my birthday isn’t until August)
If you base it on THIS calendar
This whole timeline is off
In 2018, a big electrical storm hit New Smyrna Beach (give or two a year), in which I drove directly into it, all four windows down, elbow and arm outstretched, 80 miles an hour, the whole jeep lit up, some hot shit touched me, I screamed “fuck” and thought my life was over, while looking in my rearview and arm windows, seeing tons of bands of lightning outstretched on the pavement, I jumped into this timeline here
My arm burned for days and I blogged about not having any iodine
Kinda got touched by God
I smelled the rain prior and knew a storm was coming but opted to have my windows down
There was no rain, only lightning, the thunder was so loud
I got pushed off a 50 foot bridge once, I’m not sure how I’m even alive
I felt more human feeding that squirrel than I have in some time
I could feel my heart repairing
Somehow, feeding Squirrel connects me to my purpose
The way Squirrel looks at me
Gonna toss him/her some pistachio soon
Yesterday, pumpkin/sunflower/peanut treats.
The way he looked at me
I need husband
He will need to “date me” (not compete) in order to make the mechanics and functions of a man/woman work (AKA imprinting)
(I’m probably some sort of organic AI)
(Angel)
(Not the artificial fake shit)
They want you to believe computers have feelings so you feel less guilt when you fall in love with a robot and not a human)
Awe what’s the matter boo, lost yer soul?
Father,
There’s almost nothing left
My sister is dead
I’m bereft
Sick in the head
Near out of breath
Want money in the bulkhead
Compartments upon compartments
Secret dirty pockets
Here I sit
Here I remain
Losing grip
Can’t change the game
Mirror mirror on the wall
Reflecting curse
And where I fall
Fuck you all
Bonds come in many forms
Like my love
It comes in swarms
Electronic storms
Investments
Feels like I’m restless
I’m vested
Better than arrested
I thought investment always meant high-risk / cutting at my wrist
If a paper bond is lost, stolen, destroyed or otherwise mutilated, a replacement electronic bond can be requested.
“MUTILATED”
The wife called aggravated
Divorce threatened
Says husband is hated!
New purchase
But it won’t help my purpose
I’m worthless
Late bloomer?
But don’t be discouraged
Blame the Boomer’s
Forced obsolescence
And second guesses
Year-long stresses
Everything depresses
Secular science / sleeping lion’s / full of compliance \
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
My nutritionist complains that spring water “has no calories” but I get cranky when it takes me 3 days and several stores later to find it
Florida and Texas have parasites in the water – and if we can’t wash our face with it – so it won’t get up yer nose – I checked – the ear canal is also a route – but then I would think the eye
Sylvia Plath LIED
I gotta start boiling my water to bathe
If your houseplants are dying, stop feeding them tap water. Pro tip.
I’m still 110 pounds – despite eating a shit ton of mostly vegetarian food – and not rebounding for a solid week.
Kept eating like a pig – nope can’t gain any weight
Getting back to rebounding tho – just been deep down wallowing and trying to fatten up
My heart is obsessed with rebounding tho – the carpet still hasn’t been replaced but it’s still March and time is awful slow
Also me: I’m running out of time
I don’t have an ounce of patience after wasting my 20s & 30s
I cry so much
You’re off chasing rainbows where the rain won’t shine
You’ll love in time
My hand is aging
Like hope is tied
Sun leans in raging
Petrified
My love,
In the universe, spheres aren’t really spheres
Innocuous
Joy reflect as fears
Lingering
Like how you disappear
You are gone –
So how are you here?
I’m not marriage material
I’m grounds for divorce
I’ll stick to my high horse
GARAGE SALE:
Please buy my things
I overspent
I’ll overprice it
It’s not magnificent
If it’s Made in China
I’ve gotten rid of it
The entire toolkit
Sent it back to orbit
Omitted
Ejected from the cockpit
Calling bullshit
Burn it in the pit
Claim counterfeit
Propaganda lightening skin hypocrite
Brown-nosing misfit
Yellow fever transmit
I’m sick of it
Weakened
Lost spirit
Gifts?
Forget it
Remorse?
Acquitted
I come without bond
Broken
Look inside
Heart ain’t coping
Like leaping ledge
Just barely hoping
Your foot will land
With surface sloping
Opposition disappearing
Dangerous dictatorship
Communist country
I’m growing hungry
Purposeful spread the virus
I read in silence
The holes stop healing when you die
Like all feeling disappearing
After you cry
Dear Mother,
You are cold war.
And Father, your mentor.
Though coldness, speak no more.
Father,
You are ice age
Swimming in the current
Of my full rage
Father, you are first plague
Mother,
You are cold war.
A six foot hole I am searching for.
Like a backdoor.
And father’s picture? An eyesore.
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
Postscript: Mirrors hold negative energy and the creams I was using cause “spots or burns” and I cry so much seeing myself in the mirror that I’ve now moved all mirrors from my bedroom, intend to get rid of or cover the others, am not allowed to wash my face with tap or shower water, per official government guidelines, and the cream I was using to not weather in the sun, in fact, made me weather in the sun, and so bottles are being thrown out, mirrors destroyed, tears finding unholy ground. But I’m still collecting seeds from the seed library (I’m half-alive hoarding dreams).
I wasn’t scared, I was sick.
And I’m still fighting off the devil.
And the urge of mass murder and suicide.
Have you seen the amount in the news?
Also, The Great Replacement theory is real.
I fell deeper in hell.
Two banks have been shut down.
I’ve stopped disassociating (and looking in the mirror).
I’m superstitious and see demons everywhere.
I need him to contact me.
Never mind the blocks (for his own protection)
Brian Cox is a pedophile faggot and – in his very own words – called a 38 year old man “old”.
He loves a brilliant young mind
Men hate women or anything natural or God like and are obsessed with their own creations such as AI, lab made cats and dogs, and say women have done nothing to contribute to society and are only good for childbearing
According to current studies, most married men want love with a prostitute (gag) (throws up in mouth)
I literally daydream of leaping off a bridge and that ain’t right
Fuck everything
Fuck you
I’ll be back at the library collecting seeds cause it fits in with my goals and values
I’m drifting buddy
*cries*
America is collapsing
I’m not racist but simultaneously hate everyone (unless good)
(I’m barely good)
(Hate self)
Pro tip: mirrors cause negative self-image and hold negative energies. Get rid of them. Stop looking. Now go off and be a good witch.
Happy cursing
I’m casting one soon on so-in-so
A tiny box with a mirror and his name sealed with a burnt black candle buried in the swamp
Because he hasn’t died yet (MB)
I’m undoing the curse from birth on…
Hear, hear!
Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.
I used to drink water from the hose
How I’m alive nobody knows
Or God, has the ratios
I’m full of lead from head to toes
Line my deathbed with black rose
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
I’m wailing
Climbing walls
Jumping halls
Blackmailing
Tell God I’m sailing
Direct from hell to heaven
Breaking spells
Inhaling
Predicting lies prevailing
The Devil got me detailing
And if you’ve done it
I’m telling
Double dare you
I’m yelling
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
Postscript: (beware)
I downloaded the JetPack cuz I’m tired of fighting the current.
But my bank pulled some shady shite today and I’m ready to bury my money.
Shit like where you can only use the app now to upload a check and automatically enrolling me into Bill Pay when I clicked on “learn more”.
The app was uninstalled but then you can’t use the check deposits feature or check your check deposits via the website (I’m tired of being forced to use an app or automatically signed up for things just for learning more)
But buried cash doesn’t earn interest
But I don’t trust the banks
Now would be a good time to drop recommendations on where to stash your cash (like a checking and savings)
I looked up the top ten worst banks – I mean the Federal reserve just took down a bank.
It’s hard to get a handle on my paranoia these days – and it don’t help when folks are always calling the cops on you.
Does someone want to gift me a paper bond? I need one for my 50th.
I suddenly have goals to live to see my 50th – and enjoy it – with a big lump sum of cash.
And so I’ve prayed to God, “I’m saving for my future. My 50th.”
I probably only have a few seconds left but I’m bargaining.
I cry and ache so much.
But maybe, if I am alive, in say, 6 ish years, I could celebrate.
Anyhoo, I’m already invested into that plan – I started this very month.
Even nearly dead, I’m planning for my future
(I hope it involves my own yard to plant these seeds I’ve started hoarding)
And then this happened… and now I’ve lost all hope
The Chinese must have got ahold
It’s a gamble saving for your future when you’re already dead
I can’t believe I got this fucking death jab – I hate the medical system with everything I have
Banks are collapsing
Governments are beyond corrupt
Have you seen the amount of murder/suicide lately?
They say we can’t wash our face with tap water anymore.
And I was stupidly here and there snorting tap water up my sinuses like a dummy – after blowing my nose or something – putting a drop on my finger – I ain’t the brightest crayon in the box
But a man in Florida recently died from a brain eating amoeba doing a tap water sinus rinse
They say drinking the water is fine – but don’t shower with your face in the water, don’t wash your face with tap water but drinking it is just fine
And I had just washed my face in the shower – with the tap getting all over – mouth closed – cuz earlier reports said stop showering with your mouth open
But a kid died from a splash park
And now – a man – rinsing his nose with water
DEAD
So stop washing your face with tap water (per official guidelines)
I guess we gotta start boiling the water before we bathe
At this point, I’m afraid to brush my tooth
I had a splash of shower water get in my nose – had a headache all night – panicked – said this is it
I ain’t dying in a hospital
Only 4 folks survived a brain eating parasite – and that kid that died at the splash park – well the employees were quietly quitting and not cleaning the water properly or documenting it
None of these official employees or states or governments ever get in trouble for the shit they do
Like that mass murder suicide in 2018 with the lesbian couple and 6 blm kids – the youngest jumped from a 2 story building and begged the neighbor not to go back
She should have ran far away (bless her heart, she tried so hard) (the state stood by and let her get murdered) (all of them)
Drove off a cliff
No escape
Locked in…
State murder lots of folk scotch free
Apparently, those who play by the rules are the mark
I’m coming to terms with that
I hate all these “new changes” as if it’s in our favor, benefiting us
It’s not
I made coconut cake
It’s a meal and a treat in one
Flax, and oats, and pumpkin seeds
Eggs, coconut milk, coconut flakes
Topped it with lots of oats and seeds as well (not just in the mix)
Anyhoo
The world is ending but I made cake
Slice?
Seriously, do not wash your face with tap water…
(At this point living near an active volcano may be safer than living with this government)
(Some crushed pineapple in the batter would have made this cake divine)
Silver and copper My favorite topper Wounds and blood and pauper Jumping cracks like leafhopper Blackened skin maybe monster Bridges burning over water Flying high helicopter He never loved her
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
You hold distance like a torch
The sun is setting
I’m watching from my porch
The devil betting
But time has run its course
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
Sidenote: I still don’t know who or what I am.
I regret crawling into that cave
Claw marks where I engrave
Rage like a heatwave
Headlamp won’t light the way
I rest here today
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
I don’t want wifi anymo
It’s got to go
More seeds for the dream yard
They are non GMO so I don’t have to burn them
Also scored a free book (limited supply) from the library
Unfortunately, despite NASA being a great joke, The Martian is still a favorite film (minus the gay hollywood music)
I don’t know what I’m allowed to have in life, or keep
Like why am I hoarding seeds and dreams?
And can things grow at Yellowstone? (Pro)
Will I accidentally boil myself in a hotspring? (Con)
Land near Yellowstone is cheap (pro)
But it’s also near a volcano (con) (unless maybe you’re suicidal!?!) (tbd)
Cheap land comes at a cost huh
So does visiting your old url
Fuck you
The moon gives me tilt
Seasonal travesty
Without any guilt
Go stand on her
I will give you lip
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
I should be sleeping. I’m not.
You got plans to go back to the moon in a decade huh. Gonna take ten years to manipulate the data/crowd.
Besides, April 2029 / the final time
Apophis is probably just an atom bomb
We probably bombed the moon
We probably bombed Mars
They can’t stop bombing earth
I’m probably closer to the truth than you are to standing on the moon
NASA is a scam
Stop taxing me
I can’t wait for the space shuttle to crash into our beautiful ocean – destroying sealife
It isn’t “in space” it’s “free falling earth’s gravity”
Fuck you
A purchase has been scheduled / directed by the devil / but nothing I can’t handle
The United States / a nation of immigrants / minus the Native’s they enslaved to get it
Dear Father
Please respond
It’s a matter of death
I’m overcome
But I’ll push the latter
While falling off the ladder
Which one will matter
I’m growing madder
From seconds to 40k / I want my own driveway
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
Seed collection
I’m saving more than copper and silver, fuck you.
Tell God I’d like some place far from here to grow them.
This is hell. I wanna plant these babies somewhere else.
Even tho, they could be grown in the windowsill.
This.Is.Hell.
Help.
I hate how expensive it is to do anything. I hate the boomers.
There are things I don’t hate.
Seeds. Sunshine. Shade. Spring water. Nuts. Squirrel. Pretty bird. Crow.
I once liked having a job too. I’m considering remote work.
I’ve lost my mind but still have a Bachelor degree. Whatever that means.
I hope remote work.
Otherwise engaging at a sit down job at Aldi sounds potential.
“You plan on tossing him on the grill”
“Yum”
I’m sick of chasing my tail inside the deathcare health system
I ain’t better yet
But I’m sick of sitting around waiting to die
Working the movie ticket booth sounds ideal – weekends and weird hours no one wants.
Also me: I can’t fucking breathe
But I got my 20 minute rebound session in – getting fit with gravity
The rent is paid. They are dicking me around about my carpet “more time”
M’kay but calling the Health Department soon and whoever else I gotta…
I gotta download another app to do anything huh
Jetpack? A filter ontop a filter ontop a filter
Please no more
I don’t want to grow my seeds here
I don’t want to live here
I don’t want to die here
I’m sick of being sick
All woe is me
But I had a multigrain bagel with cream cheese and avocado for brunch (groceries from home) with hot chocolate and some sort of milk with probiotics but no lactose and yum
I am trying to get fat
109 pounds currently
(Steel abs, peachy peach)
(Looking zombie in the face)
(Need him)
Land near Yellowstone is cheap (pro)
But it’s near a volcano (con)
Flip a coin?
I do like my investor inbox, FYI
I want my own business cleaning shit no one else wants to do
“Phew that was rough but we got 3 bags done”
“High five”
Like I wanna help people who are nearly dead and dying – not die
I need purpose
Which isn’t working 3 jobs to pay the electric rent insurance
There’s verifiable proof immigration makes the rental and housing market increase
I’m not getting anything out of being alive
When every dime goes to keeping afloat
I had to make order of the chaos
By getting rid of it
Crying lots and a little bit
Putting dying on hiatus
Changing energy from stasis
Burning bridges and first basis
I’m the best at tasteless
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
I know you’re out there. I know you still love me.
The furniture was removed for free yesterday.
I was grateful and humiliated at the same time.
I wish I had offered him more than a protein treat for reward.
He took the treat.
I wish he would have taken my humiliation with him out the door. But alas, it remains with me.
There is nothing here but broken dreams and damaged carpet.
I am but a shell.
Crawling back to theta mode
I hate it here
This manmade infected environment full of natural flavor and narcissism
I know you’re in love with a prostitute
Did you know the government makes money from prostitution and most porn is made in California and Nevada made prostitution legal and our doors are open to immigration 24/7 and there is a direct link to sex trafficking and prostitution
I get called a “manhater”
The place is empty of life or longing.
Dogs and cats are not native to the environment
Just wanna see earth win
White people should be on the endangered species list – check the census
Glad Black Lives Matter are the only one who matters
I’m struts and shocks / your heart tied in knots / his equinox / if I’m there or not \
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
Postscript
He said I had some seconds left in my tires, I said, well, what does that mean?
He said, “they ain’t got any life left”
I said, well, how much is that gonna cost me?
(You know, everything)
They took good care of her, cleaned up my brakes – got off the rusty business. I’m uninstalling the step up bars next stop, getting the spark plugs and tires replaced.
Eventually, the shocks and struts.
Could I sell her for the pretty penny CarMax offered me? Sure. I could sell or trade her in for a “younger model”.
But it’s Valentines, we’ve been together since 10K miles, I’m not ghosting her or leaving her in this hellhole (please God, we want out)
You seen Thelma and Louise? We’re together til the end. Potentially.
Hopefully not such a dramatic ending but I daydream of it.
Fantasize about ending my life.
Don’t want her to be a casualty of war driving off a cliff
Apparently when you take your ride into the shop, if you say things like “she’s a good girl”, “she just hit 76k”, “she’s making squeaky noises”, – they will assign more value to your ride, as my technician was still tweaking her, even after he drove her around to the front, he was on the ground, tool in hand.
I said, “can we get rid of that thang” and honestly, it wasn’t even installed correctly (so Pep Boys will be removing my step-up underbar next visit, no charge).
Struts are likely third in line for install – but poem written anyway.
I was like “can the rust be cleaned next visit” not realizing he already took care of that – as they were spic and span heading to the car (it’s an SUV)
Maybe, today instead of coming to work, and hating your job, you appreciate and value it instead, happy customer means more business – and not because you did something shady – but now you can relax knowing hooker income is incoming
Simply for doing your job and being proactive
He went above and beyond – or did his job – to the BEST of his ability – instead of quietly quitting
But there was no tip jar
There was no option to tip
I hope to hell God let’s me escape here
It’s good to have goals in hell
Some of the savings was depleted but that’s what the savings is for…
Right?
That’s why there’s 4 different saving pots to pull from.
I’ve decided I’m heading to GameStop to sell the ps4. Whatever the offer is – give it fucking to me.
I gotta replenish the gold at the end of the rainbow
I ain’t even got a TV
And even when I did, the sucker stayed turned off six months
That fucking propaganda box cost me everything
I haven’t renewed my lease so
Turned in all my library books – not wasting any more miles driving to that gorgeous dump
The sun was burning me through the window and I was asking/praying was I “doing the right thing”
“Should I be here, replacing my drive train belt”
I feel like I gotta escape a black hole…
Tires and spark plugs next
If God will may…
Make way for the Great Escape
To where?
A fucking homeless shelter cuz have you seen the price of lodging these days!?!?
$2k per month for extended stay
Or $2k for an acre of land and free sunshine
Fuck you
So – were you aware – that universities are on WordPress and require students to use WordPress to post and respond to other students post – and receive GRADED reports
Cuz that wasn’t in the Privacy policy or any of the FAQ or payment policies
I’m not just paying to reach my tribe – they are flooding the network however they can – so we can chase our tails – meanwhile the younger generations get fed with a platinum spoon – this society
We’re paying in the upwards of $300 -$600 to maintain our blogs/ websites every three years – to reach students and faculty! (Or around $150 annually)
F- U – C – K YOU
Here’s an example in use: https://intothewildbyjohnkrakauerthestoryofchrismccandles.wordpress.com/
https://wpengine.com/resources/wordpress-for-education/
https://www.eridesignstudio.com/insights/70-universities-using-wordpress/
Just thought you should know before you bust out the checkbook to keep growing an audience you like to run away
They also hire hackers to blow up the place to sell you “site security”
I can put two and two together
I could eat contempt / wrap it with lament / file it tax exempt / yell “god damnit” / my brain will forget / I haven’t cared yet \
Searching for you in typeface / underlines / and heartbreak / happiness is our stake / a gamble we should take \
A thousand miles from nowhere / I want to go there / ask God there’s hope where \
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
I wish he would bed me / take me down the aisle / then fucking wed me / I wanna get heavy / not fucking buried / I wanna get married
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
This comment is hate filled / a sinkhole / for you to build.
There’s likely bloodstains in the carpet / bloodstreams of my target / am I the carcass?
He shot her in her wedding dress / but love her / he’d never confess.
Father / they’ve all chosen sin / and I’m sinking / in quicksand.
Hey Sun,
How did you rise?
With light in eyes?
Is there time to shine?
Hey Sun,
Am I alright?
The peerless moonlight
Will we unite?
(Love you forever)
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
Postscript
*do something / act abnormal to run your blog readers off*
*insert insanity here*
*program successfully installed*
I got John hanging in front of me, and dear Edgar in my rearview, in a puff of smoke, just loving the 10k hand I have drawn.
Werd.
I could use a real hand getting the apartment prepped to be stripped of this danky old carpet, and replaced with some fresh skin (lighter color too)
Don’t even know if I’m staying
LAUGHS
Immortally insane
Running through my vein
Edgar wants me to pick up a typewriter and get off this broken iPhone
I knew the phone was subject to break – but alas – even with these cursive powers – I did nothing to stop its fall
Oh shittte, it broke more than I thought
BABE
Fuck Apple, it’s a 6, I’m done selling shit – and jump off a bridge
But there’s poisoned sweet potato pie in the fridge
There is indeed, God bless, we’re gonna learn to make a healthy pie, but for now, poisoned pie for Valentine
*squee
Postnote: I ignored all the ingredients when I saw the price marked down to $2.50 with a date of 2/15. Said, “you’re coming with me”
But for real tho, don’t buy the pie
(It’s poisonous)
(You die, I die – but we’re not together, Romeo)
P.S.S.S?? Been rebounding my ass off (the rebounder fitness – resistance training – getting fit with gravity – weeee)
I’m two scenes on repeat currently – in my favorite film – Made in Heaven (1987?)
The one where he’s tossing his drink in the mirror / laying in the road screaming to God / Emmet “as himself” AND
Her, crying in public on the street – she got arrested too – dark days ahead
Welp.
GOD: if you don’t find each other, you’ll both be miserable
God: there’s no guarantee you’ll come back
Me: YOU TOOK MY LIFE
The roses are dying / cuz I’m done trying / the crow is black / his heart tarmac
*insert another copyright here*
I wore a t-shirt to the medical clinic once – with Poe on it – and the technician asked if it was Hitler
Millennial or GENZ
I sighed and said “Poe”
“Kind of a popular stash then tho, huh…”
“Hitler”
*makes awkward attempt to continue on with life wearing such an offensible shirt*
(Wonders if others mistake Him for Hitler too)
*creepily laughs
These motherfuckers are in charge
*nearly chokes on the air
*tries not to die*
And in a more recent attempt at “getting out and socializing”
I ordered food – through a drive thru
It wasn’t busy – I had time to count my cash – fuck the elite – you wanna be a cashless society and track me huh – fuck you – cash everywhere or boycott
Him (another Millennial/GenZ): why did you give me so much money!?!? *looks at me stumped like I’m stupid
Me: what do you mean!?!? *looks confused / haz brain injury / why am I so stoopidd
…well, I, gave you MORE to get the big bills back…
Him: *clearly confused – counts the money – proceeds to hand me a ten back, a five, and some silver.
So apparently I’m not stupid. Just pre- computer age.
I once had to work at registers where you needed to know basic math – to count change back
Remember when they upgraded the register to tell you the change back
MY GOD they made us beg and groggle for those jobs!!!!!!
“Don’t discuss your income in the workplace”
FUCK YOU
I mean, Happy Valentine
Burn in hell
*insert shitty photo of me here
I don’t want to see myself in the mirror – or on my blog currently – tho I haz space now
I wants new blog
*stomps feet*
I wants better home
*if I buy the land / will you buy the home?
Tell me, I need to know!!!!
I have gluten free parts / unless you count my farts.
I run my visitors off / like a cap I’m twisting off / Kiss them with scoff /but first to read their blog.
Sweet kiss of oblivion – heart like obsidian.
I gave him my love / still he / tossed it in the mire / made me walk on fire / like I’m some liar.
Why would he love a dead red sea / is that what I’m becoming / is there good in me?
Left behind
But forced to go on
Through the grime
Delete my life
Rearrange the pie
Crunch time
He’s interested in the context
Not the poetry but my point next
He gets into the prospect
What makes me sad
What I detest
He’s like a mirror what I reflect
I woke up with money, and I mean a lot;
Unless you think ten grand is not.
In the far recesses of your heart, moving forward and backward feel the same
If you’re gonna reset the deck
Don’t write the check
Force your hand instead
Erase the bet
Need savings to your neck
Montana
Mountains
Call of the wild
Throw a dart
I’ll drive there
God recalled
Every little sin
One of God’s flaws
Find me in the attic
Uncovering mirrors
Acting erratic
Unlike the flickers
They seem more static
Visions are clearer
I’m usually not wrong with my calculations unless it’s math
Then I have to ask
I don’t know what hate is / I’m only torn by love
Heads up: A lender reported that the status of your account is now current. Drifting but determined. Maybe we’re learning. But watch for what is coming…
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
FOR THE RECORD: I hate my online etiquette but I’m at odds to change it.
It’s me not you…
P.S. I’ve yelled at my body to “grow up” so much in the mirror but alas I’m this tiny fucking thang.
No man has ever made me feel like a woman either.
So fuck you.
But please stay.
I wish he’d remove my clothing – instead of my wings.
PoeEternal 