i woke up sickly, hence moody? pick a mood?
all of the above
and below?
it’s from a favorite store which is no longer a favorite store (my moods shift fast)
it’s more like the stores shifting and i’m staying behind
handbook for the nearly recently deceased (clothing too)
ivy’s dead (but im accidentally growing sunflowers outside)
I got in trouble
For being nice
I guess the good girl
Gets sacrificed
Copyright ยฉ 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Double penalized on TikTok for leaving a positive review.
Gotta walk on eggshells to avoid a ban.
TikTok rewarded me with a $15 coupon for the ass beating tho.
Then during the live chat to figure out WHY Iโm in the doghouse, I was nearly booted for inactivity after being asked to wait 2-3 minutes to sort itโฆ
Damned if I do, damned if I donโt
But the 15 dollar coupon helpedโฆ
I was pretty heated after taking time to review and upload photos to help support my review as itโs allowed – only to get penalized for giving a 5* ratingโฆ
Itโs hell down hereโฆ
I bought a romper from the TikTok shopping
And some other things. Better photos when/if I stop breaking out in hives. ๐
The TikTok
Iโm just some gal from the deep south
Oh wait
Deep South should be capitalized but not earth
Why is earth not a noun
Whatev
The follows are still coming in today
Also reached over 37.5k โlikesโ
I donโt use fancy setups or lighting or filters
But will probably start posting rebounding and skate content for summer!
Along with complaining
Itโs what I do best
But folks are trying to take me down in tricky ways
And Iโm still recovering from CUD
And this cancer
2 days zero weed or vape or edibles
Not caving
Gotta clean the lungs
No more smoking
No more drinking
No more disassociating
Tough days
Not even allowed sugar or bread but havenโt fixed my diet completely
Cuz I need to hire a maid to deep clean my kitchen
I donโt know whatโs holding me back from doing it
Maybe because Iโm dying and have so little energy
But hopefully can show off my cute outfits from Dolls Kill soon
Embarrassing the mess currently
Took an assbeating on TikTok because of it but some have commented Iโm adorable
The drafts will probably get deleted
I will post more cute booty content when I recover mentally from all the weight I lost
Itty bitty again
I want to be Godโs favorite
But squirrel is so cute
And red bird
Woody has been quiet
So glad I captured him pecking when I did
Iโm kinda homebound because every time I go out a cop gets involved
I think the last one wanted to prepose? To me
Proposal propose
The fucking algo makes it harderwith a brain injury but I hit space
Fuck you
Stumbling with speech more cuz brain rewiring itself with zombie weed
Know what I want to say, canโt get it out
A band is getting ready to play from a big race thing
I can hear it miles away
NIN was supposed to come
Now itโs Tool and Pantera and some others coming
Heard on the radio
I was like โtoo bad I ainโt supporting shit anymoreโ
Maynardโs a fucking dick
The cop told me to move
Itโs unsafe to venture out
And Iโm pro 2a and wonโt think twice to shoot your shadow
Ohh poem thingy please
Also, if I reach 10k in this lifetime, Iโm one goal away from turning on video gifts
I dunno how I feel about โgoing liveโ again – but I probably will start sharing my fitness journey over on Instagram – and if Iโm not too shy – will do some casual lives on the TikTok as well
Iโm only looking to connect and be โsocialโ, Iโm not chasing the algorithm dragon for likes or paying META $15 monthly to be โverifiedโ. Like, I would have paid that ONE TIME – but Iโm not spending money to be seen.
I just want to be
Iโm getting my fitness room in order and both mystery plants now have green growing (theyโre in the window being bashed around by the blinds – wakey wakey)
Mystery plant 1
Mystery plant 2
Please note that Iโm going through some sort of phase where I want to be natural – no makeup, no filters, no fancy dress, no fuss.
I am trying to fix my health, my finances, my diet, my mood, my self-esteem, and last thing I need to worry about is putting on makeup to go live or post when Iโm cooking or working out.
Itโs just not me.
I donโt want to have to worry about posting 4 times a day (or daily) either
And, I want to answer my inbox when Iโm ready and am devoting days to be โsocialโ so that my mood isnโt down and depressed
Furthermore, 95% of my furniture and household is gone.
Iโm starting over but also want to be able to jump ship – when God allows
Right now, the enemy has us in a stronghold
Barricaded behind policy
I donโt have the latest XYZ to garner your attention
But I will share fitness tips and how Iโm surviving the apocalypse
And thank you to those who have taken interest in seeing me go live again, whether to share the weather or my latest complaint
I took a long detox from social media and have been trying to find myself
I mean, I know Iโm lost in purgatory/hell and am paying for my sins in this timeline
And wasted pretty much all of my life
Iโm learning to be still
To stretch
Breathe
Exist in harmony with nature
I guess I took the winter hibernating
Iโm trying not to climb in my coffin or a hole I canโt climb out of
I thought, how dumb was I to lose half my retirement – but then all of GEN X did –
It did help my depression to a degree (make it worse)
But it wasnโt because I was stupid
We were gutted essentially
Anyhoo, Iโm a little seedling
And 4/19 is the last day my medicinal card is any good – and I blocked the doctor both via text and email
Now theyโre putting less product in and calling it โhead spaceโ (and charging more)
They treat the medical shops like they are recreational
Anyway, Iโm trying to get clean
Itโs like the devil is coming at me
I donโt have fancy things, but what remains is what I like
I would like to follow you back – and interact – as and when Iโm capable
Iโm more like a turtle on social media – instead of that blazing fast coyote always getting into trouble
I mourned my social media accounts because I thought I had deleted, deleted them.
I did not.
They are there, for now.
I am #poeeternal on both accounts. My TikTok hashtag has over 20k views alone.
Iโm not ready to give up my pseudonym / pen name.
Iโm more present these days. More aware.
Thank you for being there.
New account: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal
I went and got some medicinal
After several days of cold cutting
And zero sleepz in the nightz
I caved
Got 1 vape the size of Texas, a 10 pack of indica blueberry edibles, and 7g worth of โpremium groundโ
Back home – hit the pen twice – feel the happies
I arrived โcan you check my pen, I donโt know if itโs charging/working or in my headโ
Gave myself 3 options tho
1. Cold cut quit (aggressive)
2. Not renew my state license in April – ween myself – slow quit
3. Not quit – pay the ridiculous fees – to maintain
4. Vote for recreational (nope, youโll have to cut my dick off before I ever get out again and vote)
Look where voting for medicinal got me: an addiction
Prior to the government getting involved, weed never gave me no kind of addiction
Unless you count the feel goods
Iโm literally more motivated on it
Suddenly, with my new flock of bird neighbors – and the medicinal two toke hit after several days none, I feel like I could clean up the slums
Thereโs a Goldโs Gym down the road – could like join
Iโll have to disassociate from dudes watching me
I think the guy at the shop is into me
Not sure how I wound up with six bucks back but took my buck and he was like โyou got another fiveโ
I only took X amount of cash in to avoid overspending
But between the 50% off deals + another military discount + more cash back than I had calculated, Iโm square
Paid like 40 bucks or something
Also, the blueberry eddies are 10mg pieces, so Iโll be eating one with my dinner / evening bath
Not smoking to disassociate, just to function :p
Iโm at a crossroads in my life
I decided to throw everything overboard!
I may jump!
Not to die!
To jump ship!
Itโs terribly hard being autistic and suicidal: โhow yah doing todayโ
โI ainโt looking for a bridge to leap, and the sun is out!โ
Politically probably not correct but honest to the core
The other customer was listening to me order and him give me all kinds of recommendations lol
โI havenโt slept in 3 days and sometimes I just need a sativaโ
I think he pretty much ordered everything – I went in as a walk-in
But he seems keen to service me
And she was like โsorry for listeningโ lol
But I was trying to hurry cuz others arrived and I even offered to get out of line – anyhoo – he listened to what I needed – his suggestions were good – including where I could buy a decent pipe to smoke the flower, cuz the shop I went to sold me a non working glass pipe – and I love wasting my money
Right now I got rice papers from the medicinal shop – and those were tricky to learn – but they are slow burning – and arenโt as strong (very smooth paper but probably poisoned)
Like I registered to vote for recreational a couple months back – but that was before my meltdown
Iโm having a midlife crisis
Right now Iโm sitting on clean linen and thinking I might could manage this dump a bit longer – if it means land for me in the future
If I were to renew, Iโd want fresh paint and carpet.
I mean, the apartment is nearly empty and Iโd pay them an extra $200 to lay some fresh paint
(The carpet would need to be a free replacement as part of the renewal agreement – especially as long as Iโve been here – and the COVID pandemic)
This isnโt a good time to be homeless
People arenโt returning emails or phone calls about places I wanna live
And โAstoriaโ was a big mistake
I donโt want anywhere near this county or HollyWood
I donโt know where Iโm going or what Iโm going to do
I have a very busy day doing real world stuff
I hate real world and would rather disassociate
Because people are involved
And I have to be civil
I identify as Angelic and this is spiritual warfare
Iโm like fight mode 24/7
The birds moved near me
Itโs changing me
I donโt disassociate making content and I wanna get in the headspace to get back at it
Iโve been self-loathing
But also working out – I wanna get the peach in shape
The boobs need a little weight
Half my kitchen was donated or trashed
Some is packed – it might get trashed too
Pantry is empty
Everything is on the table remaining
The lease is up in April
Thereโs been no invite to renew yet nor have I given any 60 day warning
Donโt know what month to month rent would cost (like if I needed an extra 2 or 3 months to find my new home) (and stay without a 12 month lease) (if they still do that the costs go up)
I donโt want to be homeless dying
My bathtub is good enough
As far as rebuilding my financial wealth – Iโm working on it
The little cushion I have, doesnโt go far in a 40% inflated economy – realistically – and per research
If I could get to a gym – and get outside these walls
Iโm just re-inventing myself – even if to start fresh
I need a sterilized and stable foundation
I prayed to God โI need to be closer to Pretty Birdโ and he sent me a flock
Swear to fuck
Clean bed sheets tonight
Weed
I have to be careful with this new age shit, it can trigger my ptsd and suicidal ideation
Sometimes you need to take a break and let other people order for you
I donโt really want folks offing themselves – I say terrible things – Iโve slept with the devil
God knows I sinned
I tell him often Iโm not worth anything – while begging โdonโt let me die hereโ
Itโs complicated
Iโm hungry
Food is good
I have leftover soup and bread
Iโm trying to find my place in this world – and balance
Iโm a Soldier, I like working out – but now I do things differently since Iโm at risk of ASDS
So proud of myself for finally reaching my ten minute rebound goals this week
And then 20โฆ ๐
Iโm glad people notice my efforts in the real world – Iโm sensitive about my skin scars and stretchmarks tho
Donโt mind my giggly boobs but they need some foods (been ill but also working out and detoxed too)
Got down to 110 in fact, now putting the weight back on
Was 112 last at the VA (will check soon)
Been several weeks tho and Iโve been rebounding most of January ๐
Iโm starting to see thick in the front – like the quad maybe or thigh area
My leg muscles are forming more and tight
My stomach is pretty flat but could be better
I want more tattoos ๐
Would help make the new me ๐
Something feminine and cliche
Flowers
Wouldnโt mind some tasteful flowers on my hip area but I gotta find a real artist
I donโt want to decide what will look good on me and the exact spot
Like bro, do your fucking job
I need to hire a decorator for my new lifestyle
Iโm a Soldier and poet
I know war and I know words (terribly)
These days itโs the algorithm fucking me up 95% of the time
I miss being a Soldier
I miss my comrades
Gift giving is the heart of tribal union – exchanging gifts. Now I know why I do this.
Itโs not my fault others think itโs โtoo muchโ or never return anything. I wasnโt in it for returns.
I give because I want to
Itโs tribal
I have the eldest and rarest bloodtype – with only 6-11% of the population having it
Part of the 240k woke too
Iโm kinda in a cult arenโt I
Hungrz
Must eat!
The problem is
I donโt believe
The sky is falling
The lies you weave
ยฉ Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal
Shit you should know but donโt want to hear ๐
Dogs and cats were made in a lab in Asia. Traced back their timeline.
Not shocking.
Cats and dogs are plagued with parasites.
The elites were plagued with parasites.
Connect the dots
โPregnant women should not be around the cat boxโ. Applies to everyone!
Gavin Rossdale says cats are filthy, wonโt have em in his palace. Good King.
Iโm very observant. Army trained.
I got the good Army training.
Listen or donโt listen
GenX about to have a throw down, we nearly healed but at risk for ASDS heaven
Itโs humans vs demons down here
Narcissism is a plague (someone with a psych degree)
My best friend died of suicide, and then her mother and Iโve been trying to die by suicide since I was in the womb but then I decided to study why everybody was so fucking depressed and itโs because of China ๐จ๐ณ
Porn. Propaganda. Predators. The Internet should be 21+. Walmart and The Mall too. (Theyโre selling sex toys in front if kids)
FYI: I identify as 15 but act 500
Iโm a complicated creature and require special handling
He doesnโt get me at all
How do you play the game when you know their next move?
Iโm afraid of what I can doโฆ (to self) (near through)
Can find compassion in Crow and the elite hate Crow so much – she donโt get an emoji
Feed the trees and the wildlife
They need usโฆ.
I went in to make changes to my Amazon Wishlist and they have new features – already selected for you – about disclosing your address to the buyer
Wait. What. ๐
I have a brain injury and maybe Iโm misinterpreting what that says!?!
Iโve since unchecked the box – and Iโve no one spoiling me – but I very much intend to spoil me – as these are items I want/need.
Thatโs a dangerous new feature Amazon has added
I wasnโt even aware until I was acting emo and making privacy changes
Anyhooโฆ
If you have children using it or anyone under the age of 18 and they have an Amazon wishlist account and people spoiling them, then they may be getting access to your home address now.
I care about the unsuspecting adults too (like self) and people with mental illness who may try and obtain an address for harm
I donโt understand how itโs legal for a business to do something like this, itโs fucking dangerous
They are using grams as weight now cuz America belongs to the immigrants and their children born here naturalized
The immigrants get to vote before our children legally turn 18 to do so
LMAO
I wish I had known all this before I started College is a scam.
Quietly LOUDLY quitting society
Information is knowledge so please let folks know that their lives are in danger now – unless they want complete strangers with their shipping address!?!?
I donโt like giving out my phone number or email and now weโre just giving folks our home address huh.
Why not just give the buyer your address and fuck Amazon all together?
Why use a third party at all? Which was the entire fucking point I thought.
Amazon is dead
Thereโs hardly a place worth shopping
I like thrift stores and antique furniture shops
I will find the most ugly shop in Florida you can find.
Get on my knees and hunt
Getting offline forever soonโฆ
I donโt understand the point
Recently I received a gift of Cinnamon bark.
And being the observant that I am, I read the details. It included a secret on the back. God wanted me to know. I feel it is a universal sign. I’ve been making many stews after all. And today, included cinnamon bark.
(Protein of choice can be used – I’m avoiding lab made proteins – but am Flexitarian and mostly consume a vegetarian/vegan diet. I’m a picky meat eater too; beef, chicken, turkey mostly and fish on the occasion).
I made my broth from scratch again – but memaw (my grandmother passed) never tossed out the fat from the meat and today I decided to do the same. Since I keep skin and seeds on, FAT PLEASE.
Ingredients used: spring water, Tomatoes from the Vine, cherry tomato medley (later popped), cinnamon bark, fresh garlic, onion, celery, cilantro, sweet yellow, orange, and green peppers with seeds, rainbow carrots, dry green split peas, wild rice blend, rosemary, thyme, parsley, salt with the necessary nutrients (maybe), pepper, potato with skin on and washed, red kidney bean (but I can’t buy canned beans anymore because they are putting things in them that they should not and I’ll stick to adding dry lentils, split pea, rice, ect). Added half can of tomato sauce too which it absolutely did not need and the stew would have survived without it)
I cooked up ethically sourced organic beef with onion and spices and put 4 spoons of the fat into the stew. I continued cooking the beef to a nice texture and gently added it to the stew – and then a shit ton of cabbage ๐คช
I let the cabbage cook down some and then I added even more cabbage
But that wasn’t enough. So more.
IT’S THE BEST SOUP I’VE EVER MADE AND I SAY THAT ABOUT EVERY POT BUT THIS ONE CONTAINS A SPECIAL SECRET INGREDIENT
Cinnamon bark. It’ll be going in everything now. Practicing gratitude. Thank you Lord. Now maybe my stew is fit for a king.
And I put it with the leftovers. Apparently cinnamon is a great anti-parasitic and pet friendly too.
The dog went mad for my soup. He got second’s plus additional bites.
So the stew would be good without a meat protein source but the heart demanded. Just don’t add meat.
I made homemade vegetable beef this time. Probably not like anyone else makes it.
I’m terribly full but already greedy for another bowl. I’m stuffed. And definitely wanna enjoy leftovers so gotta ration and need a bigger pot! ๐
Happy holidays. Still eating my nuts and things. I’m going to a food drive on Friday. Curious to know if the universe will gift me any secrets. I’m invested. ๐
Oh and, scored my 3 pack detox for the price of 1. Grateful. The detox continues…. the heart journey, the healing.
Power is out
And everything went dark
But bro inspired me so much
I’ve been writing and in survival mode
Need to save the juice
I’ll post more when I can
Say hello to Hurricane Ian
These shots were taken before the power went out
The dark was Ian…
Could be out of power for days…
I posted stuff on TikTok and Insta before I went down
That dude was not drunk
He was walking a straight line in hurricane winds
Now meybeeee he had a drink
But he was not staggering and had full control
I was worried I was gonna get booted off of my live for dangerous activities so I was letting people know that I was not part of that group but looking back on it he had so much courage, will, and strength
He was exercising and taking dips in Hurricane Ian
The way that bird hovered near him
It was like watching a real life gladiator undergoing some sort of spiritual thang
THIS COULD BE NORMAL ACTIVITY FOR HIM
Meanwhile, I was standing with my legs shoulder length apart holding the damn camera arm with both hands with all my might being blown left and right!!!
My lower back was hurting from being beat by the wind!!!
There were two others in his group that were undressing to go in that chose not to
I was live on TikTok so it took me by surprise – didn’t want dude to drown
That motherfucker is the son of Poseidon or some shit – like he is in god mode or something exercising his demons or gaining full control of them
I get chills watching back on it lol
I’m afraid for the water to touch me and this dude was baptizing in the storm
LOL
Not just any storm either…
Apparently one of the worst hurricanes to hit Florida in 100 years
My power has been down an hour or so
I definitely was not prepared but I have several hours maybe days worth of candle light that I can use and I’ll probably mostly use it at night time for 2 to 3 hours only
Water is sold out everywhere
I’m not wasting time, energy, gas, running around for scraps
TIME TO RATION SUPPLIES – SOMETHING THESE GREEDY NARCISSIST KNOW NOTHING ABOUT
The town is under curfew
Most businesses are closed or are closing early (I was gonna cheat and get fast food after finding zero water but the universe said NOPE don’t want you eating that crap)
The lights were on and they were open and workers were inside on the clock getting paid to do nothing – quiet quitting every chance they get on our dime
THE LAZY GENERATION
WANTS TIPS BEFORE SERVICE AND ZERO QUALITY SERVICE AT THAT
DELUSIONAL
I’ll post some videos on TikTok if I’m allowed and while I still have power
It might not get that bad but I have lived through two hurricanes where I live and power was out for a week
No fucking water anywhere
NONE
I’m gonna look on Walmart delivery or pickup if they have it…
I’M EXPECTING THEM TO NOT OR TO HAVE JACKED UP THEIR PRICES FOR BASIC LIVING NECESSITIES WHICH SHOULD BE ILLEGAL
Haven’t had any Evec orders but we are under curfew
I still have 4 gallons of water so hopefully I’m okay
I need out of the city tho
It’s not safe here
In any capacity
I went live for a few minutes, got entirely soaked walking around the ocean, I’ll get the videos posted since none of the locations had drinking water
Had some pissy people on the live apparently. Acting as if hurricane ocean is safe. ๐คก
I ain’t dying for views. But I am a blogger and I do share my environment.
Things are taking forever to upload too ๐คช
My fridge is empty and so are the stores which are closing early
The power can go out and my electric bill probably still gonna be through the roof
I don’t want modern luxury if it takes three jobs to pay your electric and your rent
The label is red
States it is “sold as animal feed” (I’m an animal m’kay but)
There is no date anywhere
It smelled of rot
I did a sniff and taste taste
The dog sniffed and passed
Didn’t even get a taste…
It’s opened
I know they won’t take it back
The yuppies
I mean Peggy’s Discount stole $8 from me
“Free will”
I could have said no ๐
I had some dry milk on the shelf FOR THE SAME PRICE
And just made me a fresh batch for my coffee
And about to toss some marmalade on this pumpkin bread full of seeds and nuts and spices
And enjoy my coffee with powered milk
And the yuppies can BURN IN HELL
You sold one of God’s angels some rotten fucking milk
I don’t even know how many years an eternity is but it ain’t enough!!!!!
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
I do recommend that big bag of great value dry powdered milk for eight dollars and never ever ever fucking raw milk without a goddamn date on it that’s labeled animal feed and why are they selling it to humans you fucking assholes
This is exactly why John Jones got stuck in a fucking hole and I’m allowed to be pissed off about it because that eight dollars could’ve gone towards some shit at Dolls Kill that I want
I’m nearly fucking vegan after all this shit
“You could of said no”
They stole $8 from me ๐
And I don’t know what to do with the milk because my dog doesn’t even want to drink it so if I put it outside it might contaminate the water
Tempted
TEMPTED TO ACCIDENTALLY SPILL IT ALL OVER THEIR DOOR
Helps. I’m in hell. ๐
If I had a husband I wouldn’t be buying animal feed ๐
IT WAS RIGHT THERE ON THE LABEL
WTF IS WRONG WITH ME
How long had it been sitting on their shelf in the fridge?
HOW LONG?????????
There’s no date anywhere!!!!
How many red flags does a person need???????
HARD LESSONS LEARNED IN HELL
It was a lesson though
The discount didn’t even cover the cost of the rotten milk ๐
There’s consequences to timeline jumping, you get brain injuries and become really fucking stupid ๐
I don’t even think I can use this milk as a photo shoot to pour on my body because it’s chunky even though the label says to “shake well”
For the record, I wasn’t studying every single label in the new shop which was a Health store
It was almost as if I was being chastised for looking at the prices or the labels and then they sold me some rotten milk and God knows how good the eggs are now because I’m fucking afraid of the eggs
RETURN THIS CARTOON
SOLD AS ANIMAL FEED
MOTHERFUCKING DAMN
That’s another $8 stolen ๐
Those motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!
AVOID AT EVERY COST ๐
I didn’t even have this bad of an experience drinking goats milk in Kuwait and Iraq
My mama didn’t breast-feed me and I apparently like milk because I’m undernurtured and I’m trying to get rid of my milk addiction but they are poisoning everything including the soy beans
Some good news with the coffee…
This Doll model has a very tiny peach (this is not my peach)
I mean her peach is TINY
And I’ve been freaking out over losing over 18 pounds detoxing and my peach getting smaller even though I do work out, bike ride and walk and rebound and clean fucking house even though it doesn’t look like it
Babes with a small peach are worthy of affection and love too
And I’m not gonna show you the entire outfit because I got it ๐
I got a Halloween bodysuit ๐คช
This holiday slowing down the shipments but at least when they say they’re doing a mega sale they fucking mean it and they sell you really good quality stuff that is 1000 times better than Amazon or Walmart
Or Peggy’s Discount whom sale rotten food to despairing hungry humans ๐
My doc appointment is tomorrow
I can’t stop laughing about how incredibly stupid I was though, I mean I know I was hungry and gaslit
I know I have a brain injury
It was a new environment
But the red flags were there
I mean, they failed to even list the price of the nuts on the container or the shelf
Just like Michael Leavitt failed to put features on the map showing danger zones
“But he said he was an expert”
“But there was dust on the walls”
Like, I’m out $16+ bucks over gaslighting and not reading signs and ignoring red flags
I’m an animal, I will drink milk straight from the cow tit OK, I’ll be frank with you, but that shit was fucking ruined
Like, I would have a goat around for milk and cheese
There are certain species of animals that I have never eaten nor touched nor plan to digest
Goat is one
But their cheese and milk and fur – in the right conditions – I wouldn’t be opposed to
There was no cow milk in Iraq or Kuwait and the only milk we were offered was goats milk but the only way I would drink it was warm
Warm goats milk in my box cereal
My king needs to know the conditions in which I starve
I will bite the hand that feeds when the food is rotten and poisoned
THIS IS WHY EDGAR ALLAN POE DIED ON THE STREET
I am grateful for your support because people out here stealing from me left and right
“You didn’t have to buy the milk”
YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO LIE
How long has that lie been sitting on the shelf?
HOW LONG
I am nearly vegan and it isn’t because you have a heavy hand because you can’t have a heavy hand and also eat pizza from a fucking box and be part of the fucking problem
THEY ARE SELLING ROTTEN MILK ๐ฅ
“Shake well”
I FUCKING PLAN TO
KEEP PISSING ON ME
JUDGMENT HOUR
I’m gonna expose you all
Narcissism is not rare
NARCISSISM IS A PLAGUE
Despite the fact that I had nearly $20 stolen from me (and I’m still out eggs and milk now by the way, that I can’t replace)
These goddamn demons make it so hard for me not to commit a criminal act
It’s better to blog than spray paint
I really want to be the best efficient hunter killer but I’ve got to learn how to control my emotions especially my anger when it arises
“Hunter killer”
UHM
I am efficiently trained by the United States Army to take down a human with one shot one kill and with my bayonet
You don’t think they just played with us in basic training do you? ๐
God: you wanna go to heaven?
Me: oh yeah for sho
God: you need special training that in which I cannot say and you cannot kill
Me: I’m up for the challenge ๐คจ
God: everything will be a lie
Me: I WANT OUT, LET ME OUT
Anyhoo
The Great Filter is narcissism
Every society has at least two great filters they need to overcome if they want to be a species that doesn’t go extinct
What are your Great Filters?
We must have individual filters as well
Don’t shop at Peggy’s Discount
I’ve got eggs and milk I don’t know what to do with
I have lessons I still need to learn
I’m trying to share even the smallest ones with you
I don’t like to lose money
I don’t like to gamble
I don’t like being gaslit
I don’t like being wasteful
I’m curious and like trying new things
“How quickly should I drink it”
“Uh within a few days. Bacteria”
Dear Gen Z
That isn’t bacteria, that is fucking rot
Your parents look like cruel dictators and I can tell you are confused about your sex and wanna please the parents but never do
You still sold me rotten milk…
The eggs don’t have a date either
Your boomer parents have a house and a business and I’m struggling to pay my rent
I’m condemning you all to hell
Take it up with God
He sent me here to see what you do through my eyes
He sent me here to judge
144,000
SAY MY NAME
FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
All that vegan packaging with natural flavor in it from a fucking lab
I AM WOKE BUT BLIND
“Free will” but “they will do anything”
He gonna divorce me
“You spent $18 on a tiny container of nuts and another $16 on animal food”. “What are we eating this month, honey?” ๐
(I did get the money back for the unopened nuts)
I should call though to say the milk was expired
But I want to cut the cord on that experience which was a fucking nightmare and I will spend many days potentially months or even a year trying to figure out why why why why when I was hungry I did this shit
I was completely out of my comfort zone at Peggy’s but because I’m nice and programmed to not say no or offend these demons, I made bad mistake ๐
Welp. How to ignore red flags 101. The fear was very real. God is in information. Listen to the source when he is calling. Those warnings are like little fingertips by God touching you
Tickle tickle
Don’t go that way
And you may get an additional warning or two, like Jacob in the whirlpool, he got three, that I counted
But he got out
And he went back in
A second time….
I have an irrational fear of dying but there is a pattern and Apophis is a nuclear bomb if we do not stop the NEW WORLD ORDER
(With those bad shrooms we’re not allowed to touch)
THE ELITES WERE PLAGUED WITH PARASITES
HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF
Black Walnut Wormwood detox if you wanna save your life or purge the Devil (is that what’s stopping you) ๐ง
Tsk tsk
I can’t believe I bought some rotten fucking milk and eggs that literally says animal food on it but it’s being sold as human food on human shelving without a date and shouldn’t that be illegal?
Gaslighting should be a crime
I’m in fucking hell…
I am a witch though and I love spooky season
I make the best damn pot of stew
WITCHES STEW
Dash of burn in hell, dash of I don’t give a fuck… pinch of they’re all out of luck
You should see the writings on the wall where heavens gone mad
50 years ago they would have drilled a hole in my head
The way we treat depression is barbaric
We need to ban big pharma commercials
I don’t mind drinking milk past the expiration date or eating expired food but what the fuck
Wanna turn somebody vegan?
SELL THEM ROTTEN MILK
I curse in hell because it’s the only way I don’t commit a crime and they’re trying to take my freedom of speech in the real world
If you take my speech, I take my money and business
And I will never shop where I can’t spend cash which is what I’d like to start doing but find me a place I can shop that isn’t selling sex toys in front of children…
I don’t want to support businesses that are selling sex toys in front of children like Walmart and the mall
I don’t want to support a business that sells you rotten fucking produce that you can’t return
“Has it been opened”
*THROWS BOTTLE AND EGGS AT BRICK WALL*
*gets arrested*
*doesn’t get money back, gets fined instead*
(Stays home to avoid potential downfall)
You remember that Nirvana song, “I think I’m dumb”
SAME
Also, Kurt had gut issues which directly impacts mental health, he needed to debug ๐คจ
When you see one lie, you start seeing them all
I want a secure line
To reach out
A level playing field
For all of your crap
ยฉ Delia Ross. 2022
What gives him the idea I want to communicate ๐
The former CEO of Twitter dropped a huge truth bomb
But are you ready to hear it?
https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd68pdt8/
I’m off Twitter, deleted my account and data without requesting a copy
I’m not touching crypto or the Metaverse
I see Big Bro spent a shit ton of money so Instagram can now say “Meta”
Funny how the government told us gambling was illegal but then made every aspect of our lives about gambling and social media is no longer a social aspect
There’s nothing social about it anymore
We are the products
And you better believe these top creators are paying to play because they’ve made a game out of it
And now I see famous actors collaborating with TikTok influencers ๐
Because big networks have moved onto TikTok
And they for sure are paying to be in the FYP
People with checkmarks are the enemy and they hog everything
There’s nothing social about social media anymore
We were all played
And stop giving them your damn opinion on everything because they just use it against us!
If you’re gonna give your opinion at least get paid for it with something more than spam
ugg it’s 2 am, I was sleeping
But my nightmare awoke me but then reality was worse than my nightmare ๐ฉ
I keep falling down the rabbit hole
I don’t like it in here
There is no escape
I reckon I’m gonna have to bite the WordPress hook and upgrade my personal plan to the premium plan since I’ve used up all my 6GB of storage space ๐ and just pretend the universe is pushing me to upgrade my plan so I can have more media space to upload photos but also unpack yeti from its box to do soft poetry readings and spoken word
To be fair, I have been dying
But I will also at some point maybe be producing some subscriber only content on my blog/website instead of over on OnlyFans (I don’t do porn or self-gratification, I’m an artist and do nude photography – many say softcore is obsolete, but I’ll be offering it here on my website instead- and if someone could please teach me how to set up subscriptions on WP instead of me having to go figure it out through WordPress that would be great)
I’m already on a plan that allows subscriptions and donations, I’ve just used up all my media space and either need to delete stuff off my website or upgrade and at this point it’s time to upgrade because I’m growing aren’t I? I have over 1000 followers now and nearly 100,000 views!! ๐
So when I’m not dying and can put my head into the WordPress books I will figure out how to do the subscriber only content (this won’t be for every post, just my random spicer content)!
Not everyone wants to see my exclusive Rated R nude content but I’m tired of giving other platforms my visitors – especially when most platforms I have zero voice as an artist
I don’t want to push people to another platform when they come to visit my website
I want you to stay here in heaven with me ๐
GIVE ME ALL YOUR ATTENTION ๐คฉ
I was at urgent care yesterday again so I don’t know how quickly I’ll be able to get stuff going but just know stuff is in the pipeline and I would like to get some more nude content out to you, it will be through my own website though, you won’t have to leave or sign-up anywhere else
I’m indecisive on what I’m doing with my Patreon account but I’ve been very grateful for your support over the years!
Because of it, my website has and remains advertisement free (zero spam)!
If you sign up for my blog posts via email, advertising will never be in your email either! Zero spam!
I may be the last place on earth that’s free of advertising ๐ค
But you won’t have to worry about accidentally hitting an advertisement when scrolling or installing spyware or a virus
You can scroll freely without a condom ahem ๐คช
I’m dealing with heart and lung issues since I got the vaccine – I’m still a weirdo tho and I miss doing the cosplay for you to accompany the rants, poetry and prose!
I will definitely upgrade my plan soon so I can at least start attaching photographs again to my rants and poetry
It may be the new year before I start any subscription only content!
I may do it via donation instead of subscription (like where you can pay a small fee to unlock the post)…
Stay tuned
Dying but not dead…
PSST… I have a free OnlyFans and will be active there when I’m feeling better – thank you for subscribing! My inbox is open there to say hello! I’ll let everyone know when I’m back and active! I’ll be going live over there to show you the beach and things! Softcore ๐คช
I hope the James Webb Telescope fails
I guess you have to live an entire year before you’re considered that age (so does this technically mean I’m still 42 and when I’m 44 I’ll actually be 43, my age now)? ๐คช
And you have to have a plus 1 to get the 1K badge from WordPress
It has arrived! ๐๐๐
Thank you so much for the follows! ๐๐๐
I love you! ๐
PSST I swear I am going to set up a blogging schedule soon, I have been gravely ill, and in the bed!
I get out every now and again for medicine, toilet paper and food
And on the occasion I stop by the beach so I can get a few frights
It’s just not normal the things going on in the world and around these parts
And I feel so bad for the people who visit the beach and try to enjoy it when I’m there because I’m hooting and hollering every few seconds and then they immediately leave, probably out of fear (lmao I’m gonna pee myself because my fear is contagious to others)
I swear when we’re on a flight and the plane starts doing shit it’s not supposed to do, when you hear me gasping, everybody on the plane is staring at me the entire time and my eyes get really big and both of my hands are clutching onto the armrest and the entire plane ahead and behind will be staring at me, but I can’t stop being scared y’all
This world frightens me and you can see it on my face
My fears don’t lie
And I’m a little girl that never grew up so anytime there’s a bug or I’m scared of something I sound like I’m being murdered lmao
I didn’t even share all the screams I had the other day when I stopped by the ocean briefly but it was even scarier than before
The clouds were hanging really low and were many different shades of gray and everything just looked doom to me and there was no lifeguard on duty and it was only 11:30 AM, it was about to be high noon and it’s uncommon because the ocean is warm but there’s no sealife anywhere, yet the ocean is still reaching the sea wall, and it’s all wet. And standing in it, surrounded by all ocean, scares the crap out of me, especially with the tide being a triple king tide that won’t leave ๐
The ocean ate the beach
The worlds most famous beach
And maybe one day we will get our beach back but I’m looking at reports that state Daytona Beach is undergoing extreme flooding over the next 30 years and buildings are falling down in Miami so you can continue to be gaslit and lied to but I’m gonna start listening with my eyes from now on
And when I’m feeling better I’m going to share a post on my blog where I can upload some photos and some videos of it
I haven’t even been watching TV or playing video games or reading, I’ve mostly just been in my bed and sleeping a lot and eating when I can
I hope I feel better soon but I may have to go to the ER for the treatment I need ๐
I’ve been avoiding it TBH
I don’t want to be held against my will and I don’t want to die there and I most certainly would probably get arrested because I would fucking leave campground and if the cops tried to stop me I would still try to leave and get out of there
I mean I would rather be in jail and have three meals a day than to be anywhere near the goddamn hospitals or clinics when I fucking die
Capeesh?
Healthcare is deathcare
My eyes are open
And just like Neo, they hurt from what they see
I don’t think I have much time left but I don’t believe any of us have much time left ๐
Blogging is my lifeline to you
My safe place
My safety net
It is the only place online I can speak freely
And not be penalized to have my intellectual property or my account removed
These businesses need us to survive and yet they treat us like shit
The only way we can get our voice back is to stop using these apps until we get some sort of freedom of speech again and stop spending our money
Only buy what you really need
In America, I’m attempting to support American owned businesses only (and small)
But I don’t believe any sign in the door and I don’t believe in the governments agenda society is a scam it’s a sham consumption is narcissism and the less stuff we have the more expensive it’s going to get and those who have the most money are going to hog it
Start looking out for you and your circle
We’re all we’ve got
And you’re welcome on my boat, it’s not very big and there’s holes everywhere
I’m heading to Point Nemo
And check out this warning from TikTok, “Participating in this activity could result in you or others getting hurt” ๐
Apparently people are getting tracked on TikTok too, children are getting kidnapped as well as adults (I don’t know if the two are the same) but social media is toxic and the devil lives in your TV and his minions use it to kidnap us
Now I hope many of you know that kidnappings take place so that people can get sexually tormented (children too)
I read an article recently where the Mexican government was working with the mafia and they sexually tortured several teenage children (in Mexico) and we allow millions and millions and millions of immigrants to come over here and live in America and they don’t give a fuck about you or our culture or traditions
They are torturing children in their own country and they come over here and they fucking torture us too
Porn has done something to the human race
The other day when I was in the Vet Center I told the guy that I would just take all responsibility and say that I am what’s wrong with the world, that I’m the problem, I’m too broken, I’m “crazy” and so I need to just not be around other people or get married and he looked dead at me and said that I’m not the one whose crazy, it’s the world that is crazy and I’m not wrong about what’s going on with porn and how it’s affecting mankind
It felt so nice to be validated by a man
I mean I’m literally walking into his office carrying my crucifix and falling fucking down
But it’s nice to hear from another male soldier that I’m not crazy
That all this shit in society is wrong and toxic
I’ve had to get off most of social media because of how toxic it is, because of the catcalling, because of the death threats, because of the stalking, because my freedom of speech is gone
I have no rights anymore
Immigration has been a Trojan horse in America!!!
I have a right to be angry!!!
My comrades are dying by suicide!!!!
I’m awake!!! I’m up!!! I can’t save you, you have to save yourself!
But, I can stand quarantined near you
I can ration supplies
Build shelter and dig trenches
Clean and fire weapons
Pull security
Disabled, not obsolete ๐
I’ve been fighting for equality for a long time, that applies for the job market and the housing market as well
You don’t get to come over here and steal all our best jobs and all our management positions and create toxic environments and then force your fucking poison drugs on us anymore
Society is a sham
And it requires consuming to work
Endless consumption
And we’re wasting our natural resources so you can have resin Knickknacks
Plastic everywhere
Plastic everything
Generica
๐๐
Anyway, I’m grateful I have a blog to voice my concerns, to share my poetry, photography, and prose
I’m grateful I have you as a reader
I can’t do this without you
I need you
So this is just as much your award as it is mine
We got here together, in this boat ๐ถ
It took the plus one to get the badge
And it takes living a year to earn that age? ๐ค
So I’m not really 43 right now, I’m technically still 42?
When I turn 44, then I will have lived 43 years.
So technically I’m not 43 yet
Right? ๐
*pants* growing young ๐คช
So big brother and the illuminati is going to control information flow about politics but they won’t do anything about the corporations who are mind raping us and soliciting us for our business every second and every day of our life, with our phone numbers, our private addresses, and our IP addresses!
When is enough enough?
When does citizens have some fucking privacy? Huh? I thought this was the land of the fucking free, all I see is the land of the control me, tell me what to do, tell me what to buy, and I have no way to deny.
I have no way to stop my HOME PRIVATE ADDRESS from being riddled with junk mail, coupons, or soliciting.
Why?
My private life should be private from corporations trying to play on my emotions and talk me into what I’m gonna eat or what I’m going to buy next.
Most of the shit they send me is unhealthy and I’m not gonna touch it.
And it doesn’t matter if I would want to buy it or not, I should be able to opt out from my home address being spammed
My personal, private number too.
And if you have a home phone number, it means you will get political affiliation phone calls all the time and you can’t stop your phone from ringing and it was ringing off the hook because all these politicians want you to vote their way or vote their agenda or vote for them (it’s fucking ridiculous) and their agenda is what Big Corporations want. They get donations remember? Can we say, conflict of interest!
I had to get rid of my home number because I couldn’t get any peace of mind from the phone calls
And even though I’m going to the website of businesses to opt out of communications from them, I’m still getting it…
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMR8gLDUn/
Just waiting for the cops to show up to my door so I can explain to them why I’m unhinged and making empty threats to “burn it down”. It’s a metaphorical threat but the lady on the other end of the phone probably didn’t catch that even though I was stating directly afterwards that I was going to go to the news
She said she’d take it up with the marketing team
It probably went straight to the FBI
1984 is now
๐
Dropping loads of rants today though, on my TikTok!
Not one damn birthday card, and Spectrum is a trigger (again not an actual trigger, an emotional one)
If they try to take me away to the funny farm without my fucking permission though, I will wind up on the top o’clock news or dead
Heart can’t take much more stress
It’s time for bb to retire on the street
Bedy byee
OK I am being a tiny bit dramatic – however I have received several follows, several likes on my content and one of my newest videos has already had a share and that’s the first time I think any of my videos has been shared outside of the TikTok platform by another person (aside from myself)
My channel is also getting comments (on the videos I allow comments) and after having been attacked all night by others on TikTok, I woke up to this beautiful comment about me having an angel face ๐
So in terms of activity, it’s getting it and moreso than normal
That did my ticker some good and I’m growing thicker skin.
I’ve had to block several people tho but also I think I must’ve got blocked by another creator because I left a comment on their content about how they forgot to mention how people can’t actually retire when they retire, that they have to keep working and it was getting a lot of negative feedback, I only responded to others about the recession and the great depression because they were just saying people aren’t working hard enough if they can’t retire and that is definitely not the issue but it says the video is gone so I don’t know if the video is actually deleted or if I was blocked and I don’t actually remember the creators name to spy
I was literally making his video go viral with everybody responding to my comment and I can’t even fucking access it now, this is how toxic TikTok really is ๐
And I’m trying to find my voice, I’ve been sharing feelings (oh noes) which opens me up for even more attacks, but I need people to know we are in a mental prison ๐
We are being controlled through Big Pharma and advertising – and I hate to be fucking blunt but India is solely responsible for 90% of that
They spam us so much
And for the love of God please stop reading a book that was written by some boys in the middle east who were completely sexist towards women – please stop letting them fucking control you and stop giving them your fucking money at church
It’s time for Rome to fall again
God sent his best angel here (me) to warn you
And some are listening!
You’d be surprised at the amount of people I have actually woke up!!!
And, people have been attacking my blog and my poetry all night on TikTok simply because I said scientist were destroying the world or something so they instantly go after my heart
Personal attacks consistently but I did wake up to somebody complementing my angel face ๐ฅฐ
I definitely identify as an angel so there’s that ๐
People forget that angels are warriors
I am a warrior and the United States Army and uncle Sam came back that up ๐ช
I’ve been itching to drop more poetry for you, just waiting on that improv spark that I get (I also have terrible stage fright so performing doesn’t come easy mixed with anxiety and a brain injury)
I have the option to record for 3 minutes now but hell it seems 30 seconds or under is my niche
But I’m pushing myself I really am!
And making TikTok’s has been easy on my heart. Talking and editing goes well on bed rest (yup still dealing with a swollen heart and left lung not inflating)
Crucifixions on TikTok are a dime a dozen which is why when I get a rare, positive comment it really sticks
Right in my fucking heart
And repairs all that negative shit and propels me forward for my next improv video
I studied drama and improv for two years in highschool
I am a very theatrical person
Le vampyre
*sigh* fallen angel ๐
My TikTok channel also received its very first Q&A question, so I answered via a video reply, it is getting some love too!!! Thank you!! ๐
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdoxb5hk/
It wasn’t the nicest comment that I could receive but I think I answered well ๐
I mean it was the middle of the night and it literally took no effort to go through that door ๐
My ego must be the size of the entire galaxy ๐
If I stop blocking everybody, I might actually get more views on my channel ๐
I’m gonna to try to stop blocking people…
Link to my channel: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdoQkKnk/
apple.news/Aoge5hAWuQvuKCd6rANDuPw
It’s kind of scary how precise and accurate I seem to always be but they are starting to make vaccines mandatory at the VA at least for the healthcare workers and then next it’ll be the soldiers, won’t it… ๐
But I ain’t gonna get any goddamn booster shots๏ฟผ ๐
Y’all wtf ๐
They’re literally reading our private emails for suggestive selling – so they can PUSH advertising out to manipulate you to SPEND YOUR MONEY because taking your money is ALL they care about! You’re just a dollar sign!!
And analyzing our photos and private messages uggggg
They sell it to third parties
Is this why Spectrum harasses my mailbox daily to use their services? I will go offline before I ever submit. I’ve opted out of Spectrum but they still spam my mailbox.
So do the “your extended warranty is about to expire”
FYI, I turned Siri off.
I prefer my privacy over mind control.
I don’t need people telling me what to buy 24 hours a day of my life
WAKE UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND TURN OFF AD TRACKING EVERYWHERE
Please give the post a like if this has helped you get some of your privacy back!
Spread the word!
I’m not missing out on life by saying no to tracking
You’re giving the bogeyman permission to track you and you don’t know how honest these trackers are!!!!
Stay woke!!!
Yahoo has a bunch of advertisement settings including this “sale my personal information” that was selected to yes without my permission
I never authorized this when I first started using Yahoo but they snuck in a lot of updates that you need to go check out. This was automatically selected as “yes” until I just discovered it and turned it off.
I don’t believe companies or apps should be allowed to choose yes for you when they include an updateโฆ
Most advertising is spam and just a way to control you.
Stay woke and turn off your advert settings everywhere! They are spying on you!!!! You don’t need adverts telling you what to buy!!! Wake up!!!!
Tell your friends!!
There are a bunch of settings regarding your privacy and advertising!!
Turn it off!!!
apple.news/Ajol6pigMRXyZOckRR4UJVQ
Gonna say it again,๏ฟผ globalism has ruined America
“The American dream, gotta be asleep to believe it” – George Carlin
The Serum Institute began mass-producing COVID vaccines even before approval. They’ve made millions of doses. But so far only about 4% of people in India are fully vaccinated. What went wrong?
โ Read on www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2021/06/29/1011022472/india-is-the-worlds-biggest-vaccine-maker-yet-only-4-of-indians-are-vaccinated
Theyโre starting to put restrictions on unvaccinated people, no entry mandates
Told you
So letโs just not go
Over 40% of the unvaccinated US population hold so much power currently
Donโt let them fearmonger you
Your body, your choice!
If weโre doing all this simply to have electricity, well Iโm ready to live without it honey
Solar
Iโm vaccinated but I still could get somebody sick and I got hit with heart inflammation because they chose to not let the population know that it was causing heart damage and people have died from it and people have gotten hurt from it and they have silenced and shunned us from communicating and letting you know because they turned this vaccine into peer pressure and big brother is illuminati owned
They may not be knocking down your door like Hitler, but itโs the same thing with mandates
Iโm sure thereโs someone else who could do a better job of telling you what it is Iโm about to tell you but I need you to listen and hear ๐ช
Iโve turned off ad tracking on every app Iโm currently on and in the system of my iPhone itself
Iโm no longer on android because you cannot uninstall Facebook from the device itself and big bro has penalized me and took away my freedom of speech so I no longer support android
Mark Zuckerberg is starting to have way too much control with his little social media mind control game (both Biden and Trump say the aps are toxic)
Iโm making it extremely hard for them to track me through ads and I am not giving them permission to do so
Itโs getting ridiculous and clear that ads infringe on our privacy and rights and most everyone seems cool with it
Yet most of the ads that we do find on Facebook, Instagram, or even TikTok or Twitter are spam and people are coming on saying itโs spam so Iโm sure itโs somebody from India who has learned how to trick the account and use us to get our money.
Most of the ads are spam and junk
I am not such a consumer where Iโm having a conversation with someone on Twitter and then head to Instagram and thereโs an ad pop up for what we were just talking about. I donโt need that sort of control in my life.
I can make decisions of what I want to buy on my own
They are using ads to manipulate us and legally spy on us
Well Iโm making it hard for them to legally spy on me and thatโs why Iโm turning off all those things and Iโll just stop using the app if enforced
Instagram has sneaked in a bunch of new updates so go check out your settings – on Twitter and FB too (Iโm sure any app you are using, Iโve downsized)
I had to unselect a bunch of ad stuff that they sneaked in and was already activated – I unselected the ad choice options on Instagram and they sneak in updates like this all the time
Instagram, Facebook and Twitter are so toxic and both Trump and Biden are calling Facebook toxic and Big Bro (Mark Zuckerberg Illuminati owned) is butt hurt over these accusations
Good
Letโs start boycotting these corporations who micromanage our every move and even what weโre allowed to post or say
At least turn off the ad tracking – you could start there.
They will still bombard you with the same amount of ads but theyโre not gonna be able to track what you do and say even though they will still be tracking it illegally but youโve not given them permission to do so on the apps and on your phoneโฆ
Anybody can make an ad and track you
Youโre giving hackers, spammers, thefts, the boogeyman access to track you
Whatโs the point in having all that security in your home if youโre just gonna give them a Birdseye view from your devices?
Do you really need to be eye raped by that ad thatโs probably likely spam which is why thereโs a ton of people who fell for it and theyโre leaving comments about how itโs spam, they never got the item, or it doesnโt work or blah blah blah
If you see an ad where comments are turned off, beware.
Ads are red flags
Why are you giving them permission to be in your phone? Have you actually read what it means, have you gone under Twitter and read what permissions youโre giving them to track you with?
When has an ad changed your life?
Turn if off
So if you need help finding anything just reach out to me and Iโll do my best to help you or to help you find the answer
I recently switched to an iPhone for the first time after being a Samsung/Android user and reason number 1 was the fact that you cannot uninstall the Facebook application from the device
Woah ๐๐
But Iโm also finding that thereโs been a lot of security threats all around with the safety of phones in general
This was a fairly scary article to read but wasnโt shocking that the attacks are coming from the Middle East / Asia) ๐
๐
https://apple.news/Am4vSMkOiQWa_9RaKjx55iA
There are a lot of people out there that doesnโt have the IQ or intelligence that we have or the critical thinking skills so theyโre being manipulated and taken from their money and itโs not a positive experience for them and itโs young people and old people and middle-age people, they know how to use words and steal identity or money
Please turn off ad tracking everywhere, you are legally letting hackers spy on you through ad campaigns
Itโs really scary if Iโm honest
These ads are tracking and manipulating our children, not just us
Whatโs the point of even locking your doors at night when weโre letting the bogeyman spy on us through ad tracking?
But can we please stop having them spam us, turn the ads off please, for the love of God, turn the ad tracking off!!!!
*takes a deep breath*
I am an American soldier and I am trying to protect the American way of life, which is completely under threat right now
Please wake up
And turn off ad tracking everywhere
Safety first
Youโre letting strangers track you through ads
Turn it off, tell your friends
I love you
Havenโt even brushed my tooths yet – just thought you should be aware of how dangerous ad tracking really is because nobodyโs telling you or talking about it
And I was trained in the army that safety is everybodyโs job and itโs everybodyโs place to let people know when thereโs a safety issue so knock knock, safety issue, turn your ad tracking off
You donโt need it, I promise you
And go help your mom turn their ad tracking off and help your children and your friends, spread the word, letโs make it difficult for these assholes to spam us, spy on us, take our money, give us bad days
Torn took 2nd place in under 24 hours after being published ๐
Is this how you tell people you love them? ๐
Asking for a friend ๐
๐๐๐
Ask and thou shall receive! ๐๐๐
Pending approval!
Oh my fucking God, stop the press, Iโve been called a whore again. ๐
Heโs mad at me and now using that disgusting piece of shit ex of mine as a bomb to hurt me *rolls eyes* ๐
Mark did scam me out of a lot of things, but my real love and heart he never got. He kept my pussy dry literally. Keep reading on to learn more ๐
I did a runner from Mark Burgess because he is the plague and you should stay far the fuck away from him.
I donโt like or love him.
I couldnโt even get sexually off from him
I couldnโt even get wet down there ๐
I donโt like Mark Burgess
I donโt love Mark Burgess
And you donโt get to act like youโre my best friend and then turn around and call me a whore just because I have a political fucking opinion about whatโs going on in the world and I actually have a right to say something about whatโs going on in the world because Iโve actually served my fucking country you piece of shit
Look at all this charming smooth talk via PM tho. You always wanted me to chat with yah, never did/would tho. Hell, you invited me into your home and offered to pay for my hotel.
But now publicly suddenly I am one of the worst things ever and a whore and Iโm selling my body on the cheap
๐ง
๐๐๐๐
I never did give him what he wanted though- my time or my friendship and now look at him calling me a whore ๐ from inviting me and paying for my hotel to calling me a fucking whore ๐
He says I think the world owes me everything and Iโm selling my body โon the cheapโ
๐
But he was just inviting to pay for my fucking hotel room
๐
Now Iโm a whore and heโs siding with that piece of shit Mark ๐
I am called a whore / youโd give me your dinner?
For the record, I donโt need anyone paying my hotel bills when I travel, I do that on my own.
I normally stay with my best friend who is a female – Iโve visited her in England twice staying with her 2 weeks on each visit.
I also helped with food and the electric and left her some moneyzzz cuz Iโm not a complete bum.
She did not ask me to do this. Flights anywhere are expensive – and Iโm happy to stay with my REAL FRIENDS when I visit if they invite me.
Iโm not rich nor ever have been.
I was not born with a silver spoon.
Iโve always had to work 3 jobs to make ends meet.
I do not feel bad or guilty for stripping to eat or pay my bills.
You donโt get to invite me into your life and then call me a whore after and not get sandblasted.
He was always denied tho – as you can see – I donโt talk to anyone.
Prime example why
They all want to fuck me for free
Yet Iโm called cheap
๐
Yea, Iโm the problem clearly
Fuck off now
Run back to Mark Burgess
Youโre both twats
Stop acting like you donโt have a porn addiction or that you are all holy and can call me your friend and then a โwhoreโ (but only after you offered to pay for my hotel – I wasnโt a whore when you were offering to pay for my visit)
Never even had the desire to meet you – let alone for you to pay for my hotel.
โWhoreโ yup mโkay why? Because I do cosplay? Because I take off my clothes now during a pandemic because Iโm disabled and need to pay my bills and we are in a RECESSION?
Because I blew through my life savings trying to stay afloat?
Because the jobs I was working paid under minimum wage and I have a college degree but canโt find work in my field due to the recession/furloughs/hiring freezes?
And those minimum wage jobs are taxed like hell and barely support cost of living (COLA) which is why people work multiple jobs to stay afloat?
Because they canโt save one fucking penny to get ahead.
Because nobody wants to actually support me or my dreams because they all want to โbe my friendโ so they can fuck me?
When I donโt want to fuck anybody –
Because I want to make babies with the love of my life and he recently bought me pizza?
Because Iโm not actually a whore and thereโs nothing wrong with sex workers.
I donโt actually โsell my bodyโ ๐ง
I donโt think anyone can actually โsell their bodyโ. ๐ค
If you mean โperform sex actsโ, that isnโt anything Iโm actually doing.
Itโs called burlesque but Iโm not very good.
I like to cosplay and roleplay tho cuz being an actor was always my dream, I still audition for parts (even reality TV shows), and I love getting to play dressup cuz I was always a Soldier/tomboy.
I donโt think what I am doing is sinful.
Iโm trying to understand who I am as a human and a woman.
Not the part or role that everyone else wants me to play.
What Iโm doing now is what Iโve always wanted to do.
Writing, photography, cosplay, guitar, itโs my thang.
The feedback Iโve been getting on my OnlyFans has improved my overall health and mental status / self-esteem.
I would say the feedback I have received has been priceless to my growth as a human and an artist.
Thereโs a lot of value on my OnlyFans and Iโm trying to get better at my cosplay and my photography and I think it shows.
I appreciate your good feedback, your comments, likes, tips, gifts and subscriptions!
I also GREATLY appreciate the support on my Patreon as well!
You make this whore happy.
So I just sent the OnlyFans team a request on how to get a new free verified account started – I was dead serious about starting one – Iโm not going anywhere (even though I can barely do shit at the moment, I do intend a full recovery from this COVID vaccine nightmare) –
I hope you are excited as me about the free account!
It will be FREE but you will have to subscribe to access the lewd (NOT NUDE) content.
This way I no longer get in trouble from Big Bro for not doing anything wrong at all – and maybe I can go back to having an actual personality where I donโt fear everything I post or say or hashtag. ๐ช
Nor, the erroneous reporting out of spite and jealousy. ๐ซ
I like having a private club and people want to see more of me and Iโve had several request on several different social sites and now Iโll have a place to direct them to see more (but if they want to see it all, it will require a subscription)! ๐
Anyway, Iโm really excited about starting the process for my new FREE OnlyFans!
I hope you are excited too! ๐
I have heard your cries!
So I am expanding my doors!
I love you! ๐
As a reminder – I love doing cosplay and role play! Iโm gonna keep at this! Itโs what I wanted to do since I was a little girl – and I feel really excited about expanding my business, opening my doors (privately) and in a place where I can be as tacky as a fucking want even though Iโm actually more classy than I am tacky but whatever
I do specialize in softcore but thereโs an art to it and itโs more commonly known as like Kama Sutra or vampirism. ๐
Itโs more about sensation and less about desensitizing.
๐
Le vampyre and 1984 is now so itโs time to expand my doors because youโve asked for more – and I donโt actually like publicly sharing more.
Again, lewds not nudes! Youโll have to be a big boy and pay if you wanna see it all.
But, I can go back to being my kinky seductive flirty vampire self oh my fucking God! Iโm super fucking excited and I hope you will consider joining my free OnlyFans!
You asked, I complied! ๐คช
Your wish is my command! ๐ค
Iโm still working on redoing my home studio and master bedroom. I donโt have shit hung anywhere. It looks like Iโve already died and the vultures have been here! ๐
Spring cleaning + reorganizing + downsizing = nightmare ๐คช
Especially when you have no design skills at all and everything you currently have is a mix-mash of wtfisgoingon ๐ฉ
And then add some sort of glitch that makes it hard for you to let anything go even though you donโt even fucking want it
๐คช
I donโt know why Iโm holding onto all this shit and itโs gonna come out into a poem at some point ๐ท
A new Harvard poll shows that only half of Americans trust the CDC โ other health agencies were rated even lower. During a pandemic, trust is critical to the success of a public health response.
โ Read on www.npr.org/2021/05/13/996331692/poll-finds-public-health-has-a-trust-problem
Not very shocking that half of Americans think the CDC is full of shit. ๐
You can now include me in that list.
Doc ordered more tests for me today and DOES NOT want me doing ANY PHYSICAL ACTIVITY – she said light walking only until she has more answers. Iโm not allowed to rebound. ๐ฉ
She looked into the signs and symptoms and said what I am going through IS RELATED to COVID.
But I asked her could a heart heal itself like a bone and she said yes! A heart can heal itself!
So good!
Cuz my body has healed from many broken bones and Iโve been doing the heating pad and positive self-encouragement even though tears have been streaming down my face.
She told me to keep doing the heating pad!
But no physical activity and more test have been ordered.
And she made it clear that what is happening to me IS COVID related.
Worth repeating.
My doctor has no hidden agenda.
Nor do I.
Iโm gonna keep writing and working on my photography and cosplay but energy levels are near dead.
She did say these symptoms can last for weeks after and reminded me Iโm about 3 weeks in (she said six weeks or more).
She also brought up the fact that these vaccines are incredibly new and there isnโt a lot of data to go by.
I told her she needed a pay raise and an award and a medal and that sheโs doing a good job and she is saving my life.
Sheโs one of them good doctors!
She goes above and beyond!
I ainโt getting no booster shots!
My vaccination record better be enough to travel!
If itโs Boeing, I ainโt going!
(The test my doc ordered checks for clots in the lungs – been breathing okay – but she wants to make sure. Although there has been a few times Iโve struggled to take a breath).
Covid related all this.
To the guy who misses me – I miss you too. Youโre my incentive to get better.
I think you may be the reason Iโm still alive.
Iโm bonded to you.
๐
I donโt even know how I couldโve gotten through all the pain I was going through and have been going through – without you.
The physical pain, the emotional, and the fears.
Youโve kept me stabilized.
My every atom wants to reach you.
๐
โHeart attacks and miscarriagesโ
โblown vocal cordsโ ๐ฉ
And yeah, I had to yell at my nurse to take this shit seriously and not give me the common side effects listed by the CDC.
The illuminati own Big Bro and Big Internet
But itโs nice to finally start finding some articles that havenโt been paid or promoted by the CDC or WHO
Itโs by some miracle Iโm still alive.
I was fucking dying that first night you came to see me.
My BP dropped because it had to carve a new path to work.
My BP keeps dropping because those Moderna shots have fucked me up.
The only reason Iโm still alive is because he did come to see me.
He put me in some sort of trance.
He removed my fears and took my mind (mostly) from the pain.
And I was telling him, โIโm sorry my energy levels are so lowโ.
Iโm fucking dying
๐
Wanted to watch the sun go down on the beach Friday night and I thought it was gonna be my last because my body core temperature started dropping so low that I could no longer sit on the sand.
I was so lethargic I thought I was about to just lay down and go to sleep and never wake up and it was really scary to think that I could just die right there with all those strangers around and so I immediately got up and went the fuck home and got in my bed and back under my fucking heating pad because I was freezing. By 8:30 I was back home in bed on a Friday night. Lame ๐
Wednesday after freezing under my heating pad for 3 hours – I took a solid hot bath – 10 minutes into that hot bath my skin felt cold as a dead body.
I might die from this.
Itโs a miracle Iโm still alive.
Iโm bonded to him and itโs not because he bought me pizza – but he did buy me pizza and now Iโm his wife.
Heโs stuck with me.
๐
Thatโs the rules in an apocalypse.
You buy her pizza and sheโs yours.
๐
(I feel closer to him than anyone in the entire world and I donโt know who he is)
๐
And Iโm currently that salmon swimming upstream.
I gots to find my mate before I die
(I was meant to have another 40+ years)
*warning* If you have underlying health issues youโre playing Russian roulette if you get any of the vaccinations
1984 is now
Stay woke
Because I can barely keep my eyes open due to extremely low energy levels after receiving Covid vaccinations
I canโt even watch a fucking sunset
๐
apple.news/AFz7rVR1OT8eAGjXCWK3Plw
Woah. Red pill or blue pill?
How deep in the rabbit hole do you want to go?
๏ฟผ
www.instagram.com/p/COgaFNQlz_d/
My latest Instagram post is doing so much better than I thought it would.
Especially because my self-esteem has been low – I haven’t felt very photogenic – and this was my first time walking in stilettos. ๐คช
Thank you for the follows, bookmarks, likes, and comments. ๐
Iโm not supposed to be feeling like Iโm already knocking on my grave
Iโm so paranoid to believe / they whipped up the perfect formula to get to me…
So yeah, taking an aspirin a day now for blood clots – well uhm – to thin my blood out and maybe keep less clots destroying my heart.
If you already suffer from underlying health issues – you need to understand the risks involved when you get that goddamn vaccine
Mโkay
People have died from it, itโs not a fucking joke
I have nothing to gain from being the whistleblower
But everything to lose
๐
The phone conversation went worse.
Why the fuck did I do that second shot
If you feel it in your fucking soul to not do something, you need to listen to yourself and not what the media is peer pressuring you to do and everyone around you
That vaccine is fucking peer pressure
I collapsed and look where it got me!!!!!!!!!!!
I didnโt wanna die in my bed and now I canโt even fucking leave it!
Checkmate goes to the NWO/CDC
Yโall know how I almost got arrested at the VA because I was letting other people know that they could still get sick even vaccinated because I didnโt want them to get sick even though theyโre getting vaccinated?
Well, Iโve lost followers over that as well but you can go to the CDC website and get this information for yourself.
Theyโre not gonna be as direct in saying it but itโs on the CDC website right there with all the variants and the relapses of people who are getting sick even though they are vaccinated (and these people were shocked and couldnโt believe that they actually got sick because they were vaccinated).
Me too. I was starting to have that misconception that I was going to be invincible at 94% effective against it (you know what I mean free donuts every day at Krispy Kreme just showing my vaccination card)….
Itโs hip, itโs cool to be vaccinated, the cute little cartoon videos will show you people running around without their mask on – but when youโre in public you still need to have your mask on and you can actually still get sick – but they donโt say that or show that in the cute video do they…
Condoms arenโt 100% effective either and they are already talking about booster shots annually.
I will not be getting anything else shot wise in regards to COVID.
They will – at this point – have to enforce it on me.
They will have to enforce it on me and even then with five people holding me down theyโre gonna have a fucking hard time getting that booster shot in me.
FYI.
Iโm done with this man-made pandemic bullshit.
Delirious but not fucking delusional.
My mask will be staying on. I will be keeping six feet from you.
Move anywhere inside my bubble and you risk getting yelled at just like that cop did.
He too will obey the fucking rules or arrest me!
And 4 other cops rolled in and nearly did.
Donโt come at me.
1984 is now!
๐
Why are people so afraid to be told that they can still get sick even vaccinated?
*runs around yelling putting the fear into everybody*
*waits to be stoned/arrested/shadowbanned/crucified/burned at the stake/unfollowed/blocked*
You can still catch COVID-19 fully vaccinated.
Condoms are not 100% effective and neither is your vaccination. ๐
You can still get sick (or others).
So what does this mean?
It means Biden has a 15 year plan laid out for this pandemic and theyโre now speaking of booster shots annually.
It means you still need to wear your mask, wash your hands and practice social distancing by keeping 6 feet.
Even vaccinated. ๐
Because we are now living in the New World order.
And since 1984 is now – and many are trying to silence me from reminding you of this blatant fact – Iโm gonna put it on a tee.
You can still get sick vaccinated.
They are already talking of booster COVID shots for next year. ๐
(And did anybody notice how they quietly removed the Johnson and Johnson one shot vaccine temporarily because it was causing blood clots but itโs now back in circulation).
I already have heart issues, my BP dropped extremely low getting MODERNA dose 1 (so maybe a slight miracle I wasnโt offered the J&J, and the government likely wanted the MODERNA vaccines for the Soldiers, because it offers a 94% effective rate against COVID (but not the rapidly evolving strains), and letโs face it, a Soldier is a DOLLAR sign. We are only numbers. And many of us have unplugged and have come to learn this fact and theyโre dying by suicide which is why the suicide rate continues to increase among veterans and active military). The government are building super soldiers and they spend a lot of money training us, thatโs why they donโt want us to fucking die. They only care about stats and numbers! The J&J vaccine offers an 80% effective rate from COVID. MODERNA 94%. And I havenโt studied the other vaccines emerging. But Iโm definitely glad I didnโt get the Johnson and Johnson one if itโs causing fucking blood clots and I already have heart issues!
Now Iโve just received my second shot, which Iโm told is worse than the first vaccine (but you donโt need to take my word for it, itโs listed on the CDC website).
So here we go.
This pandemic was manmade.
Itโs clear to me.
Scientists playing God.
Narcissism ruining the world.
With just 1 move the NWO:
1. Put a lid on the โanti vaccinerโ by implementing a manmade pandemic encouraging (rather than enforcing) people to get vaccinated.
They do this by giving you incentive like, โfully vaccinated people can get a free donut at Krispy Kreme by showing their vaccination recordโ
Advertising about how cool it is to be vaccinated and to get vaccinated (even though you can still get sick and you need to wear your mask but they leave this out of the video donโt they).
Giving you the option to be vaccinated makes you feel like you have control over the situation but itโs just gaslighting, itโs just more smallpox on blankets to Indians (and I am part Native American Indian and my bloodline was almost wiped out so my fears are legit).
Eventually it will be enforced.
Through โno entry unless fully vaccinatedโ mandates. I imagine this will be for all public transportation, schools, hospitals, and government buildings.
2. Population control
The NWO want every animal (including you and me) tagged.
You are given a number at birth.
They call it โsecurityโ but Iโm told when Iโm at age to need it there wonโt be any fucking funds.
โSocial Security is under threatโ, remember?
Was anybody actually paying attention to Obama anytime the words โNew World Orderโ came out of his mouth? Because thereโs video everywhere of him talking about it, along with all our world leaders.
Itโs not every now and then they mention it, itโs all the time, during live conferences!
Itโs not a conspiracy theory!
And just because something is a conspiracy doesnโt mean itโs not true!
Just because Iโm paranoid doesnโt mean Iโm not being followed!!!
You can still get sick even vaccinated!!!
Jim Morrison was acutely aware of the illuminati so was Michael Jackson so was Tupac so was John Lennon.
Knock knock
You are a slave, Neo.
I almost got arrested today because some lady didnโt wanna hear that she could still get sick even vaccinated but the other people around me did want to hear it so I almost got arrested for them to hear it.
I also yelled at the cop for getting in my face and not giving me 6 feet and respecting my personal space!
Then more cops rolled in.
1984 is now yโall.
Go ahead and fucking crucify me, youโre not going to silence me!!!
Welp, BIG BRO actually is working towards silencing many of us. Fairly certain Trump isnโt the only one who can be banned from the Internet.
And we can thank Bush with his โSigning Statementsโ for that because weโve moved into a Hitler state!!!
Iโm aware that this post is very political and many may not be able to keep up with the particular topics that are involved but I am a soldier, this is what I do, this is me, itโs part of who I am and will always be.
The key thing you need to take from all of this is, you can still get sick even vaccinated! Stay woke!
And that one lady was the only bad Apple that didnโt want to hear what I had to say, everybody else was thanking me because I potentially saved their life or someone elseโs because they had the same mentality going forward that I did that you were going to be invincible once you were fucking vaccinated – free donuts and itโs cool getting vaccinated, you know!!
Itโs hip, itโs cool man. Itโs a hippie dippy cool thing to be vaccinated!
But you can still get sick! ๐
And booster shots annually.
Big Pharma got the money back they lost from the anti-vacciners and the weed smokers!
God gave me the best pearl
He’s wonderful
For him my wings unfurl
I’m his girl
It matters not how far I fall
He will catch them all
For I am his favorite doll
Over hell he would crawl
ยฉ Delia Ross. 2020
My love, truth can’t hide from your eyes
Roads to heaven’s skies
I hear your cries
Even your silence pries
You wish for roads to collide
I too abide
Wading rising tides
Footsteps in rhyme
I am the ultimate alibi
A secret in your sky
You are my high
I can’t deny
I’ve tried to lie, hide
Give the love to another guy
I can’t comply
I’d rather die
ยฉ Delia Ross. 2020
Tag you’re it!! ๐
My LinkTree will take you places: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal
All I am is zeroes and ones. Hung up by rope with every mistake that I’ve done. Counting the ones and zeroes as all sum. God life ain’t fun.
ยฉ Delia Ross. 2020 @poeeternal
Opened up my eyes, had a follow request, saw a post on binary code, and wallah. Poem. I apparently still love him in between the endless BLOCKING and UNBLOCKING that I do. I’m sorrys! ๐ญ
I’m dying for his touch. Don’t even really know who he is, I just know he’s my entire fucking world and existence.
And I need him so much my mind will turn complete strangers into him.
Just because I can’t see him doesn’t mean he’s not around.
Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean I’m not being followed.
My LinkTree will take you places: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal
I fall so deep into the earth
Unable to show you just how much you are worth
I become the very thing I curse
And then I can’t stop the hurt
A runaway greenhouse effect
Mirroring the very thing I deject
Or hoping for any way to connect
A sinking Titanic from gorgeous to wrecked
Now I am laying on your ocean floor
With torn lace and silver but still rather poor
I’ve decorated disaster with devilish decor
Burned out, unmarried, but nothing much more
ยฉ Delia Ross. 2020
Mumbo jumbo for the one below. Sign post reads: Stop here
I don’t mean to hurt you. ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
I don’t know why I hurt you. ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
I don’t want to hurt you. ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
I’m just a sinking man trying to make you drown with me. ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
A drowning man is the most dangerous. ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
I’m no good. ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
You should just let me drown. ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
*watches him drop a bottle while putting scuba gear on*
*catches bottle in the water*
*reads message in a bottle*
*cries* ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
I know I’m a toxic little fuck. I know I make it impossible to be friends. I wish I knew how to fix me. I’m brokens. ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
Psst I like the thing you did in your last poem. I know it’s called a thing but I can’t think what it’s called. I like doing it too (but you do everything better). I like you.
“I like you too”. But, I like you alot. “I like you alot too”. Okay, well maybe I like you more than alot. Like the whole pie alot, not just a slice. I like you whole” (the weird conversation we’d be having right now if you allowed me to talk to you). Because I iz stewpids and you iz smartz.
I don’t deserve your help. Let me die. ๐ญ
Maybe I’d be more stable if you were really around. I’m scared. ๐ญ
My LinkTree will take you places: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal
He could know
He could tear out the knot and tangles that we sew
He could go
He could block me eternally, still I glow
Even when faint, to him, my light will show
So I flow
ยฉ Delia Ross. 2020
Welp. Can’t get him to block my existence (yet). I can attack him under my pen, under my full name, under my social media accounts, under my email, on my blog, through poetry, he’s got the ultimate ghosting Poker Face, I’ve thrown jabs, gut-wrenching flaming bombs of blame, spat on his name (actually I don’t think I’ve done that, I actually wrote him a poem with his name as an acronym in the title and as a line in the poem, which was hard to do, because I’m madly in fucking love with him and was stupid enough to tell him on his goddamn fucking social media in private message like a fucking roaring lunatic).
It went like this. ‘Hi. I’m suicidal and might die. I wrote this for you. Just thought you should know in case I die’. I don’t think it went down very well. Do you reckon that’s how Edgar Allan Poe delivered his poems to the love of his life (who was his blood cousin but we can’t all be perfects). Welp.
Did I mention I’m not like other girls? I’m rather quirky, weird, and odd. I bite strangers on random; girls, boys, whenever the mood strikes, on a neck or wrist, with such delicate precision and precise pain, that all have been shocked by it, but always moved in a positive way, because it was a weirdly pleasurable experience for them. “You bit me”. “Ee, I kind of did, didn’t I? Oops sorry”. But, none of them have ever felt violated in any way and probably still recall on the experience (though I won’t know, because I don’t even know who they were/ are). I just do it at random. I haven’t really been biting people lately though. But the urges are there. I literally bite people’s girlfriends and boyfriends, but I do it in a non-sexual way, it’s hard to explain it. I do it as a greeting and then I disappear. Sometimes I stick around and chat for a minute or two because my presence will be requested. When I let people see my weirdness they’re impressed. Sometimes I use my brain to blow people’s minds in other ways. But very few are allowed around the real me. I can only say I have psychic abilities and ways to exchange energy and there are people out there who literally think I’m an actual angel who fell. I’ve done meditation sessions and I can know someone’s sign within 5 minutes of meeting them, it blows their mind, “but how” they beg to know”! I tell them I studied astrology intensely when I was 15 “but how” they’d ask! Well, with me mind. Third eye.
Men would have literally burned me at the stake or drowned me with stone tied around my ankle or some other heinous crime as a witch in the 1800s had I been around!
I’m a super sensitive creature and I don’t do well around a lot of people. Or maybe people at all. I like people I do. Sometimes. ๐
My skin and eyes are sensitive to light because I’m part vampyre.
And my skin is sensitive to certain metals because I have Lycan blood in me (I howl at the Moon and bite people on random beware).
Yes, people are scared of me. Boo.
I am a goth queen. I just look really fucking poor because I’m a proper Nosferatu. But I’m going to try to step up my Nosferatu image as soon as the Jeep is paid off and I can start buying black clothing again. I want to start a classy nude cosplay on my Patreon. Just had someone ask me to get on the OnlyFans (and I might reconsider it cuz I was on it for like 5 minutes but I wasn’t aware there was a fucking shadowban going on). I’ve also been tweeking my circle, and unfortunately my crazy ass has actually blocked patrons, so I’m literally kicking people out my life, because I’m suicidal and out-of-control apparently! Woo hoo rubber room y’all (I will escape. I escaped the facility in Alabama on more than one occassion and they had to change all their fucking rules because of me. I was 16 and on suicide watch half the time I was there but left the leader. I left the leader even though I escaped the building several fucking times and was on suicide watch. I AM SPECIAL. LIKE MY MIND IS STUPID POWERFUL YO.
I would just like to point out that I am not against sex work, I am against guys abusing the female population and I think sometimes my message might get lost in between my crazy ass behavior (I act out when I’m suicidal online because I feel very close to how Michael Hutchence did before he fucking tore up his body dying by suicide. Sometimes I want to take a razor blade and just go fucking crazy on myself so like I’m fucking unhinged right now, I know). THAT’S WHY I’M DISABLED. IT’S CALLED DEPRESSION. I WANT TO DIE. At least that’s what my thoughts keep telling me to do, which makes me cry about it, because it’s a really scary thing to think about and I don’t actually want to wind up like Michael Hutchence so I wind up attacking people online cuz I’m waiting for my knight to come save me I guess. It’s definitely not “in hospital care”, I don’t even know how they can call it fucking care, it’s fucking insanity. You go to the hospital, you say, “hi I’m thinking about killing myself and need some help” so they take your clothes from you and they take your phone from you, you can’t have anything that brings you pleasure, you can’t have any books, you can’t have any music, but you can have a Bible and big Pharma!!!!! I’m acting out. Sure. Because I don’t want to wind up like Chris Cornell, who was notifying his wife in the middle of his suicide act, via an app, which turned their bedroom lights on and off, and he did this after a sold-out show in a hotel room!!! I don’t want to wind up like my other heroes like Kurt Cobain or my best friend who died by suicide and every day it’s a battle to not fucking die!!!!
I’m not pretending to be depressed or suicidal. I’m a war veteran and I am being completely transparent about what I’m going through currently because I might die by this disease that I’ve essentially been battling my whole life but gets worse with every breath.
I don’t know what I would do if he blocked me back, I think I would actually fucking die. I’m a horrible person. I probably should die.
I don’t think I’m actually that horrible but some of my fucking actions are and make me really remorseful because I’m not a narcissist.
Every time I hurt him I just hurt me more.
But it’s a lesson I can’t learn because I keep hurting us.
I think maybe he should just fuck me. I think if I got laid half my problems would dissolve in an instance because I have like three years of writing this dude poetry and being insanely fucking madly in love with him and sometimes I’m a star collapsing under my own weight. Or he’s a black hole tugging me. Or I’m the black hole stealing his light. Or maybe we belong together.
Or maybe our love story is similar to that of dracul Vladimir Tepes. I’m trying not to dive off the tower like Mina did. Or, after he spends millenia looking for me, I have to end his misery only to be kept with my own (and still without him, tho the love won’t die). I fell in love with him, God won’t allow me not to love him, I was born loving him. This I know.
Edgar Allan Poe died without his love too. ๐ญ
As soon as Johnny Cash lost his wife, he lost his battle to cancer. He gave up the good fight. ๐ญ
I don’t want to live without him but I keep pushing him away! ๐ญ
*sobs uncontrollably*
*the chances of dying in the street increased*
So on some days I’m ready to retire and on other days I’m ready to open up my nude Patreon tier. On some days, I want to die and on other days I’m living life.
Stay tuned. I’m bound to fall again. And again.
I need you. ๐ญ
Instagram will never use the term “shadowban” but that’s exactly what it is. So if you’ve been searching my hashtag, you’re not going to find me in the results.
Same goes for you. And you. And you…
We’ve all been ghosted.
I’m just giving you a heads-up that we’ve all been shadowbanned, so if you’re out there using hashtags on your social media sites, they’re not even working.
I don’t know how long the shadowban is going to go on but I imagine it’s going to go on for until after the election results come in and probably for even days after.
But like using a hashtag in a story that last 24 hours, useless.
And expecting people to find your work under your hashtag, also uselesss until the Illuminati allow us to not be fucking shadowbanned anymore.
After which hopefully hashtags show up in the search again.
Facebook and Instagram are the same entities and owned by the same company (so I don’t understand people who go, ‘I’m getting off Facebook’ but then stay or get on Instagram). *facepalm*
THEY ARE ONE AND THE SAME BASICALLY. BIG BRO OWNS INSTA TOO.
Hey Mark Zuckerberg what’s up??? I am so ready for that new virtual reality stuffs! I got you with the notifications on. But, I never got the shadowban memo. I was just writing a poem about how the love of my life has shadowbanned me and then I wondered if I had actually been shadowbanned and saw the notification in the search results that you had in fact, shadowbanned me. *le sigh* Can I catch a break???
The key information to take from all of this is, if you’re trying to search for your favorite artist via hashtags- recent stuff will not come up in the search results- as well as to know- that the flow of information is being controlled on the internet. Stay woke!
I haven’t been on Twitter in days but I imagine the same shit is happening over there too. Twitter is not owned by FaceBook/Instagram but most of these companies support the Illuminati. *ahem cough*
I’m a nice bitch so I just thought you should know because it’s a lot of work sometimes using hashtags for them to not even work properly. MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS FOR REAL. OMFG.
If you’re out there wondering why you’re getting lack of likes, or follows, or attention in general, this shadowban could be why.
You’re welcomes. Knowledge is power! Spread the words! I did goods detectives werks! xxoo @poeeternal ๐
Edit: more info about the shadowban from from the horse’s mouth
I’m slowly chipping away at the madness
Panics in the twilight with silence loud as riots
There’s smiling on my face but my head is filled with sadness
I thought he had a hand but it turns out he is spineless
I start out each day as if I’m facing Goliath
At any moment I am ready to face violence
Though humble are my feet when they are sleeping quiet
When you hear me roar you’ll learn I am a lioness
We need entire continents to separate my rage
And I don’t give a fuck if you think I act my age
Make a note on your calendar or erase the fucking page
It doesn’t change the fact we deserve a decent wage
Starving for food and love during a year long plague
I’m fairly fucking certain I’ve been yelling from my cage
But to the world full of green it’s a giant fucking stage
And they don’t ever hear a word I fucking say!!!!!
ยฉ Delia Ross. 2020
I SEE THROUGH MONEY TO SEE YOU EMPTY AND WANTON AND NEVER HAVING MY FRIENDSHIP, LOVE, OR RESPECT. YOU CAN’T BUY THAT. YOU CAN’T BUY ME. IT’LL BOTHER YOU ONE DAY. BUT I’M ALREADY GONE. ๐
If you appreciate this blog, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon so I can pay my bills and eat: www.patreon.com/poeeternal
If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here.
Hi guys. Itโs my birthday today. And also the 12th edition of The Saturday Symphony. How auspicious is that? Hereโs a little senryu to kick us off; With Age I Welcome Wisdom This weekโs three featured posts The games of sorcerers by Olga โ If youโre a Tolkien geek like me, you wonโt find a [โฆ]
The Saturday Symphony #12 (Birthday edition)
A very happy birthday to Jude! And thanks for featuring my work over on the Saturday Symphony! (Please visit the original blog post by clicking on the blog post shared). ๐
Now you can find and connect with my projects easier. Feel free to bookmark my LinkTree, which is now home to all my official links on the web!
Bookmark this link to quickly access and find my homes on the web! ๐
(I still have a few extra links I can add, like official links to buy my book on Amazon. Amazon UK, Barnes & Noble, ECT, my Mars One profile, from my official astronaut candidacy with them, and other fun link stuffs).
Excited but equally terrified. But, I’m definitely adding ‘open mic night spoken word’ to my channel. I want to do a trial session or two before I add it to a permanent schedule on my Twitch. Cuz nerves. But, people DJ on Twitch, podcast, fitness, cook, it’s not just for gaming… ๐
Also, I’m terrible about falling asleep with eye makeup on but I must like the messy look (hides the bags I suppose, I gets no sleeps). ๐
But Twitch is definitely a social platform and I also have a Discord now! Definitely could use some cheerleaders in my corner right now. ๐
Be sure you are keeping an eye on my Instagram feed and stories! I drop more than selfies there. ๐
I appreciate all your support out there! Thank you!! โค
I’m going live again on Twitch, Sunday afternoon (tomorrow)! Playing a horror game I’m obsessed with and I also had a request to play as a killer so I’ll be hopping on as a killer at some point during the livestream to play as a killer too (thanks for the request)!
It’s really fun connecting with you all! I don’t have a date yet with when I’ll do the spoken word I just know it’s coming soon!! I’m not sure how often I even want to do it, but at least once or twice per month (along with the other live streaming I do). It would be cool to add a fitness day in there too!
If you are on Twitch let me know! I am completely new to the app but I’ve known of its existence. But I have a lot to learn!
Also, thanks for all the fantastic support on my Patreon campaign this year! I am truly grateful! I am working on your rewards for September! ๐
Uhm, so I’ll be dropping more poetry on my blog too of course! But, I’ve been itching to do some vampire cosplay and October is creeping around the corner. My fangs wanna dance.
I need to get back on eBay and sell my GOPRO camera bundle set, so I can buy an easier cam setup. At the time, I spent around $1k on everything and I’ve since used it twice. ๐จ I also desperately need a laptop. So, I’m definitely getting back on eBay soon and I might have a collectible or two I can sell. On top of needing like electronics, I need food. ๐
I’m down to my last three car payments! I just might get the ground kissed once I get her paid off! I’ve been paying off my car note since 2014! But the change in career paths and disabilities have made it tough! Some of you have helped me out of that pickle, thank you! Holycrap, life is extremely difficult, there have been times I know I have made it even more difficult for others, but I was drowning. But I’ve made a lot of changes in my medications and luckily the episodes have been less! Literally the worst thing I’ve done is told someone I fucking hated them online. I forgive me. Shit happens and I wasn’t myself. I couldn’t even think straight on all that shit! One pill, two pill, three pill, more! Where the fuck is the topest building, let me leap. ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ
Ok, happy Saturday and bye! I have shit to do! TTYL! ๐
Hi y’all! I’ve been working on my Twitch channel! ๐
Thank you to everyone who has given it a follow!! โคโคโค
My channel now has an identity and I’ve got my nose stuck in the Creator Camp trying to learn the ins-and-outs and it is so intricate, there is still so much to learn! I have a partial schedule up, but nothing is set in stone yet, I’ll also be doing some impromptu live streams!
Creators use Twitch for all sorts of things, to livestream their cooking shows, their music, their gaming, so I don’t see why I can’t do some open mic night spoken word in the future!! I’ve got an amp, I’ve got a mic, I’ve even got a guitar! Now I just gotta find my nerve! You can invite guest and everything, so I intend to fully use Twitch for all the things. But, baby steps.
I love to game and I will be doing more game walkthroughs. And I’ve already had a request to play ‘Dead By Daylight’ as the killer, so I’ll be fulfilling that request soon! Thank you for requesting! ๐๐
High-five to everyone who has tuned in, followed, commented, friended, or left me a Whisper! ๐
You can find my Twitch Tv channel under my pen POEETERNAL or by following this link: www.twitch.tv/poeeternal
I’ll be going live again soon!
P.S. if you are still supporting my Patreon campaign, you are the coolest ever! Thank you!! ๐
Hi. How are you? Keeping safe? I’ve been trying to enjoy my summer by going on bike rides with my dog but it’s been raining like crazy around here. He loves to go on rides and I love taking him. He turned nine years old last week.
I haven’t been blogging as much, there’s little inspiration coming in. Just feeling absolutely drained and needing a break from the blogging sphere. I’ve honestly needed a break from everything in life. I miss travel, food, gigs, friends. This quarantine sucks and isolation has actually been harder for my depression. On the upside, Twitching has been fun.
Now that I’ve got on Twitch, I’ve been live streaming more. The app is so intricate, there is so much I’m still trying to learn. I’ve been working towards the affiliate goals, please give me a follow on my channel and help me reach 50 followers (7/50 currently)! ๐โค๐ I’m super shy, but pushing through boundaries. I play other games and I’ll get around to showing those off soon. I’m going to live stream other stuff than just games but I’m still learning the ropes on the platform.
I just want to open up and start sharing more of my life with you. So give me a follow over there if any of this interest you. If you have an Amazon Prime account you can connect your Twitch account and then you can actually subscribe to me (but I have to reach 50 followers before I can have subscribers).
Thank you to everyone who’s been checking out my channel!! It’s honestly helping me not be so stir-crazy!! Sending you lots of love!!
Catch me on my next live stream, coming soon! ๐ค
Hi Y’all,
I hope you are well! I’m sorry I’ve been quiet in the blogging world, I’ve kind of needed a break from writing and WordPress (but not you). I wish I could put me in vaca mode, not just my email. Summer has me in outside mode (when it’s not feverishly raining) 24/7.
I want to put together a schedule for my Twitch live streams, and I’m curious to know which time frames work best for your schedule. I’ve started a poll on Twitter where you can vote anonymously, but you can also answer freely here. I am committed to streaming once a week, but I likely can stream two to three times weekly. I am on EDT, so take that into consideration.
Personally my favorite times to game are late at night or early mornings. Obviously, any time an event for a game is on-going, I will be more active. I also like to game around / after dinner time. Weekends and late evenings preferred.
I fully intend to go live outside of gaming too. For everything and anything. Maybe to show you around a park I am visiting or to read you a mindfulness book. Who knows! Florida isn’t fully open and operating yet but I’m pretty good at thinking outside of the box (I’m just terribly shy). I live in a very active touristy area. Daytona Beach is home to the famous Daytona 500 and Daytona Bike Week. We’re also famous for our white beaches and draw in all the spring breakers. We have a ton of parks around here, and for the most part, those have been reopened.
I need to start working off this quarantine weight. The gym and pool where I live are still closed. And it’s either been too hot or raining to get any bike rides in. I’m getting in a few. But I’m committed to losing this weight and getting back in shape, ugg, too many quarantine donuts and I’ve got 3 more today. *insert drool nom nom emoji*
It’s easy for you to tell me to give up the donuts when you’re getting laid. You’re getting laid and getting to eat donuts, so I don’t want to hear it. Sex burns more calories than running. And I don’t run anymore. Unless it’s to the ice cream truck in the rain. Stop judging.
Anyhoo, I’m slightly working out. I have to trick my depression into believing it’s doing something magical, because my energy done got up and jumped into a galactic black hole. Now add the fact that there is no joy in anything but eating and sleeping. And sleeping has to be drug induced, I gather eating does too. I’d literally have no energy to breathe if my body didn’t do it automatically. Breathing is fucking exhausting tho. Especially with anxiety and nightmares. I wish I could go float in the pool but no, closed. I pretend I’m floating in my tub after a half a bottle of wine.
Anyhoo, I’m kicking quarantine up a notch. So if you wanna watch me do stuff, stuff like eating and breathing, I’m getting online weekly. Yay. Stuffs to do!! And to be honest, having a schedule both excites and scares the shite out of me. I like to be spontaneous. But I also have cryptic stage fright. But a schedule makes sense in the TV world, and I understand its importance regarding return viewers. Obviously good content is important too but if I’m always going live when everyone is sleeping, I won’t have anyone to interact with.
I’d love to see my Twitch reach 50 subscribers, so drops and other in-game loot becomes available for viewers. Goals are good to have (and share).
Also, let me know what content interest you. What games are you into? Do you want to see me review games weekly? Are you into a certain genre? Would morning or night streams work for you? Weekly or weekend? Are you interested in seeing the city I live in? Are you interested in real life or gaming? I will be using YouTube live as well but that’s an entire new puppy to adopt. Feel free to email or message me privately if you prefer. Thanks for checking out my Twitch channel!
Vote on time frames here (or drop me a DM/comment): https://twitter.com/PoeEternal/status/1297573592226574340?s=09
Hey y’all! Thank you to everyone who helped make my birthday special yesterday!! If you left love on my socials or watched me on Twitch, double thank you! I’ll be going live again soon! ๐
Yesterday, Joy for Jan, a depression awareness group, ran by two ladies who lost their mother by suicide, also published a special video message I recorded for them, on their Instagram TV/ IGTV. It’s a little over 10 minutes long and talks about the misconception that you can just “snap out of depression”. Most of us have been guilty of thinking this or asking this of others. “Hey come on, cheer up, what do you have to be sad about?”. Well that’s the thing, there’s plenty to be sad about but it doesn’t require an event to make you depressed. Everything can be going great in your life and you or someone you know can still get depression.
Check out the special video message I made for them and check out their website and socials. If you prefer, they published the video on their Facebook page too. You can view that here.
They are an excellent support group for mental health awareness.
Follow them, listen to others, spread the word. Let’s help change the misconceptions regarding depression and mental illness.
We all know someone who is suffering from depression, or we’ve lost someone to suicide, or we suffer from depression ourselves.
You’re not crazy, you’re ill. That’s why it’s called a mental illness.
And often it takes rigorous response to treat depression. Depression is and can be TERMINAL.
The suicide rate continues to rise worldwide, not just among military and Veterans, but civilians as well. Have some compassion for yourself and for others.
Practice the art of forgiveness.
Sending light and love to those suffering from mental illness and to those who have lost someone to mental illness.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Full links:
Special IGTV video message: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CEFiBIbjecz/?igshid=duiz2hc2gk8z
JoyforJan on the web: https://www.facebook.com/226987451120353/posts/925654627920295
My official Twitch channel: http://www.twitch.tv/poeeternal
If you dig my blog, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
Iโm now on Twitch! Hit my channel at: www.twitch.tv/poeeternal
Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal
I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: https://www.twitter.com/poeeternal
PoeEternal 